Weight Loss Support - Just need to talk about this




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imnotperfect24
04-22-2012, 09:08 PM
So today I went to a baby shower with my mom, aunt and cousin. But before we could go my cousin had to take her daughter and granddaughter to her house to get her daughters car. Well my cousin only had a small car so my aunt (Totally not meaning it) jumps out of the car and said and I quote "The skinny people have to sit in the back, so you get up front" I know she didn't realize what she said but that comment really hurt my feelings. My cousin is heavy set like me, but my mom (Her sister which is my aunt) and my cousins daughter(my 2nd cousin) are all skinny. I just don't think that they understand that comments like that can really hurt my feelings. And this is not the first time it happened.

Comments like that make me want to binge.. But I know that if i binge i'll just feel even worse then I do now after I'm done, which will make me want to binge even more. It's a vicious cycle.


PghGal
04-22-2012, 09:29 PM
First ---- :hug:

Second ---- I can SO relate with that. When my family got together, I was the front-seat rider by default because the rest of my family is pretty thin. One time, my brother wanted to sit up front, and complained that he needed to pack on 100 lbs to get that luxury. Yeah - that was awful. My mother proceeded to scold him, which drew more attention to it. I wanted to crawl into the floorboard (and eat a pizza. LOL).

Relatives/Families are funny things. They try to motivate and encourage, but often say things that are really harsh. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

You are right about it being a vicious cycle. It was for me as well. I still fight it, 70 pounds later. Don't give in to the binging --- a year from now, you will thank yourself. :hug:

samcakes
04-22-2012, 09:30 PM
thats the worst! i always get the front seat in small cars, especially in 2 door cars! dont let it bug you, just keep doing what you are doing


ValRock
04-22-2012, 09:33 PM
Brush it off!!! People say ridiculous things without even thinking.

You're here, you're on your way!! Soon you'll be one of the skinny people in the back :).

crazygurl61
04-22-2012, 09:37 PM
Don't pay any attention to it! I swear, people don't think before they open their mouths half the time...

imnotperfect24
05-05-2012, 01:11 AM
Yeah.. It just hurt that my own aunt would say something like that when her own daughter is overweight like I am.

I think she thinks that because we are family they can say stuff like that.

oksanella
05-05-2012, 01:16 AM
she probably says the same thing to her daughter without meaning harm . Be strong u can make it!!!!!!

Candeka
05-05-2012, 02:35 AM
Although I can completely understand why you would feel hurt, I can't disagree with the statement. The skinny people really would need to sit in the back in order to get everyone to fit. I'm not even sure of a nicer way to put it. She didn't directly call you fat as that would have been completely rude. It's kind of just like saying "O, that won't fit you"... its not rude, its just true. If somethings not going to fit you, its not rude to tell someone that. Anyways, to sum it up.. don't be mad at her! Obviously she didn't mean it in an offense way.

KYMommy2011
05-05-2012, 03:27 AM
I completely understand. My brothers were all thin thin thin. Two of my brothers wouldn't ever say anything bad about my weight, they wouldn't even mention it. But one of my brothers was always saying little things like "should you be eating that?" and "you know how many calories are in that?".. Even after I lost the weight, one time he told me "i dont think youre fat ANYMORE"..
Now that I've gained the weight back, I'm embarrassed for him to see me, just because of how he acts about it.
Some people just don't know how their words affect people.

I know it's hard, but just try not to let it get to you.

MeganTheMushroom
05-05-2012, 07:10 AM
Gah, I'm sorry! :(
The only time I was ever called out for my weight was in 8th grade when another girl said "I hate fat people", then to me, "No offense!"
Uggh, it makes me mad....

But try to turn it into motivation. Stay strong not binging, and just keep on trucking!

Also, try to hold on to when people will start complimenting your weight loss! Just look ahead of you :)

Arctic Mama
05-05-2012, 12:03 PM
Oof, ow! I'm sure it was a completely thoughtless statement and not meant to hurt, but I know that can sting big time :(

MOLE
05-05-2012, 12:33 PM
Yeah that hurts....As you mentioned before I don't "think" she meant to aim a degrading and hurtful comment toward you. It was just something she said without thinking. When I was 250 pounds my OWN aunt let things like that slip out ALL the time. Yesterday when I got back from a 3 mile walk my boyfriend's father (who has dementia) said "you NEED to be walking A LOT more....6 to 10 miles EVERYDAY--for it to even come close to helping someone like you." I was SO HURT and angry--the first thing I felt like doing was eating--but I didn't. I understand what you are going through...I understand that my boyfriends father has dementia and I can NOT take what he says to heart just like your aunt wasnt TRYING to hurt you probably....it doesn't mean we dont hurt BADLY when people say things like that though. PLEASE don't binge when you get to feeling that way! I don't know WHY--but I get that same impulse to binge when I am insulted or hurt!! It truly IS A VICIOUS CYCLE!! Hang in there! Many of us here are going through the SAME things....!

AnybodyGotAShrinkRay
05-05-2012, 12:41 PM
Once in seventh grade, in French class, we were learning about animals. My teacher had us guess what the animal was based on the French word. One of them, in French, sounded like my name. Somebody raised their hand and said "Cow?" And everybody started laughing. It stunk.

pixelllate
05-05-2012, 05:12 PM
AHH had the same experience. When I was like 12 or something, I went to Old Navy with my cousin who is very tiny and aunt. My cousin liked some clothing item and my aunt said "No you are too skinny for that. These are for fatter girls, like pixelllate"
Sometimes, people say these things they are pointing out a shoe size, they don't realize that its not just a characteristic to some people, that mentioning of weight can be a very painful thing.

SunshineCA
05-05-2012, 05:59 PM
Ouch! Sorry you had to go through that! As others have already said, ignore it and let it roll off your shoulder. If it continues, stand up and let them know they hurt your feelings.

walker
05-05-2012, 08:35 PM
So today I went to a baby shower with my mom, aunt and cousin. But before we could go my cousin had to take her daughter and granddaughter to her house to get her daughters car. Well my cousin only had a small car so my aunt (Totally not meaning it) jumps out of the car and said and I quote "The skinny people have to sit in the back, so you get up front" I know she didn't realize what she said but that comment really hurt my feelings. My cousin is heavy set like me, but my mom (Her sister which is my aunt) and my cousins daughter(my 2nd cousin) are all skinny. I just don't think that they understand that comments like that can really hurt my feelings. And this is not the first time it happened.

Comments like that make me want to binge.. But I know that if i binge i'll just feel even worse then I do now after I'm done, which will make me want to binge even more. It's a vicious cycle.

Dont feel bad about this. I was talking ot my fiance about a fitness mag I bought and all the women were a size 5 or 6 to start then the got abs. LOL. I was so pissed because it is not a huge transformation if the person was already skinny and then got abs. I want to see people who are big and then get small but understand the struggle behind it. I feel you and you are doing great by just logging on this forum!!!!!:carrot: