Weight Loss Support - we should be encouraged, not insulted




samcakes
04-22-2012, 05:05 PM
I am kind of in a bad mood. My hubby and I went on a nice long walk at a popular park today. It was almost 90 degrees, and we went almost 3 miles. I was feeling proud of myself, and very upbeat, and then a car full of guys drives by slowly and starts yelling out fat jokes... really? When I see someone that is overweight being active I applaud them! This is why I like to go on night time walks, no one yells insults at you, because they cant see you.

Why is it that we get insulted for being 'lazy' or 'fat', but when we try to do something about it, we still get made fun of?

people are naturally cruel creatures.

Im not letting it get me down though, im getting ready to go for another walk now!! this day is too pretty to let a couple of goons ruin it for me

have a beautiful day everyone


slvrangl
04-22-2012, 05:10 PM
They do it because it makes them feel better about themselves when they are actually pathetic losers with no personality and no respect for others. Ugh, people like that make the rest of the human race look bad. :( Ignore the losers, karma will get them sooner or later. ;) I applaud YOU for going out and getting exercise and for not letting those guys get to you! I would probably go home and cry and never leave my house again...but that's just me. ;)

samcakes
04-22-2012, 05:14 PM
nah, i wont let it get to me, that is how i ended up being 300+ pounds. learning to let this kind of thing slide of my back is going to be my biggest challenge. thats why im going out again today, just to say eff you!


alitorry
04-22-2012, 05:37 PM
I Agree with slvr!! They probably have major issues that are alleviated by insulting others. I totally believe in karma. And you're right, I wish people would encourage rather than insult. The world would be a better place. Sorry they made you feel that way :(

alitorry
04-22-2012, 05:40 PM
And good for you for going out for another walk :) that's awesome!!

samcakes
04-22-2012, 05:43 PM
i vented, now im not bummed out about in in the least. when i reach goal, those are the guys that will be hitting on me, and i will be the hot chick telling them to go to h*ll

GlamourGirl827
04-22-2012, 05:55 PM
OMG, my husband and I have had this conversation recently because we both agree that we applaud someone trying to lead a healthier life. (It might be because we are both in medicine, so we get warm and fuzzy seeing patients make positive changes!
The reason we had this conversation, if I can hijack your thread for a moment, is because several months ago his sister (who's a tool, and he knows it too) and hubby's brother (nice guy) and I were talking about running. She's always been thin until the past 5 years or so, now she's pretty heavy. I wanted her to go running with us (me and brother) and she said she is embarassed that someone will see her and make fun of her for being the fat girl running. Brother then says "what about that girl down the street who's really big, she's out almost everyday running, and I think good for her that she's making change". And the sister starts talking about how she doesn't think that, she laughs to herself whenever she's sees her because she's so fat and she look funny exercising.

But here's the thing. Aside from that story, my sister in law is a real piece o' crap. Een my husband sees it. She's generally an anger, miserable, rude, selfish, manipulative, demanding, spoiled, lazy waste of space. Have I made my point?
My brother in law that likes to see people out getting healthier, is a generous, kinder natured, dedicated, thoughtful, just all around good guy.
My husband (and the rest of his family) don't really know what's up with the sister. Maybe a personality disorder? Or maybe she's just a butt hole!

My point is, the people that do that aren't going home to spread joy in their life. They are duck-tards. (Trying not to get *** for all my words! lol) They are miserable. Maybe they were born that way, maybe no one loved them, maybe no one every took the time to slap them up side the head and say "you don't act that way you turd!" But either way, they will likely continue on their way draining the happiness out of most of the people around them until some one kicks their ars, or more likely they end up old and alone in a nursing home where no one comes to visit them and the staff can barely tolerate them.
I know a lot of people believe there's good in everyone. I don't. I think some people are just crap heads. So screw them!

samcakes
04-22-2012, 06:10 PM
your sister in law sounds like a total butthole! i just get really surprised by the viciousness of some people. i was raised in a really hateful environment and even growing up i never understood it. i think the world is seriously lacking love nowadays. i can honestly say i havent ever really made fun of anyone, maybe when i was little a bit, but nothing that i can remember.

instead i like to give out random compliments, like 'wow your hair is so pretty' or even so random as 'you have the softest hands'

its better to see someones eyes light up then it is to see them tear up

aleigh3890
04-22-2012, 06:15 PM
My sister is probably about 250 lbs. She's getting married this Sept and wanting to lose the weight for the wedding, but she's having the same struggles as you! Difference is she wont exercise outside because she fears getting the type of treatment you've sadly gotten. Point of my story is to feel empowered! You could easily sink into the horrible feelings situations like that must trigger, or you can continue being strong and motivated-because some in your situation don't have the courage or strength to be you!

I've always loved the quote that you can always lose weight but ugliness that lives inside you will forever weigh you down!

LeilaJey
04-22-2012, 06:21 PM
Sad, pathetic little losers. When I wasn't overweight I had a car full of boys stop to shout at me that they hated my shoes and that I was a freak. There's always something.

Screw them! You're making a great change to your life and that's really wonderful. :)

Arctic Mama
04-22-2012, 06:30 PM
You and anyone else should absolutely be encouraged, not insulted! When I was first starting out with exercise I weighed in the 240 range during our summer, and had packed my little daughter in the stroller and the slightly older one in the backpack, and was walking them down to the park (they were maybe 6 months and 20 months old).

It was hot and nasty but I was determined to get a decent workout, so I was chugging along down the sidewalk, and a woman waiting to turn onto the main road rolled down her window and shouted "Good for you, taking those kids out to play! Way to go!". I could have been embarrassed she singled me out or taken it as some sort of slight on my parenting or weight, but I was proud of me, too! It was incredibly hot and packing two children up and down hills while carrying 120 extra pounds is no mean feat. So I smiled and said I was having fun and we both went on our way feeling good about each other.

It is those encounters that I think most normal, kind people would create in a given circumstance. I am fortunate that rude jerks (often young, idiotic guys) are the exception and not the rule. Most people are encouraging and sweet, or at least thinking these things if not saying them.

Good for you for getting out for a lovely walk and not being discouraged. That is the key!

sontaikle
04-22-2012, 06:37 PM
Ugh! Jerks!

The reason I hesitated running outside for YEARS was because of people like that. I never understand people who make fun of larger folks who are exercising. It's like, WTF are they supposed to do? Spontaneously turn thin?

SJKduke
04-22-2012, 06:55 PM
Sound like THEY have some issues, or are just really really bored and have no life other than picking on other people. Either way, I don't blame you for feeling hurt, insulted, angry. I would too.

astrophe
04-22-2012, 07:10 PM
Good for you! I'm glad you vented, I'm glad you are out doing your walking thing. WTG! :carrot:

I've had that experience -- few and far between thankfully -- but I always wonder what the heck is the matter with people like that. Spreading misery around? For what? This makes the world a better place because....?

You are totally right in letting it slide off your back and carrying on with your OWN life and living it how YOU want.

A.

kaplods
04-22-2012, 07:23 PM
A long time ago, I noticed that I faced far more ridicule when I broke the fat stereotype than when I reinforced it. I didn't hear the jokes and comments when I was overeating, or resting on a park bench - it was when I ordered healthy food (who does she think she's kidding, I bet she goes home and eats a gallon of ice cream) or when I was bicycling or walking.

As controversial as it is, the fat acceptance movement really helped me to develop the kind of self-confidence that allows me to truly not care what others think most of the time.

More often than not, I'm amused by the idiots (do they really not have better more interesting things to do). I tend to have and use some pretty funny come-backs though. Such as when someone says I'm fat either to me or loud enough for me to hear, I look at them and smile and say "Wow, you must be a genius to have figured that out all by yourself," or I'll say with a big smile, "Like I haven't heard that before, Geez if you're going to insult someone try to use a little creativity and go for something less obvious." or even just a big old smile and "No Sh*t" or "what's your point?"

I've gotten two different kinds of responses from the insulters (and both are kind of fun). Either the person becomes angry or embarassed (I win) or they laugh at my joke and even seem to admire my quick response (and I still win). Females almost never laugh - they get angry or embarassed. Males tend to be split about 50/50. Some guys seem to treat insults as a form of entertainment (sort of like on the 70's show, where the boys are always trying to "burn" each other with the insults, and the person giving the worst insult "wins").

When I bought a bicycle a few years ago, I was terrified to ride it in my very quiet neighborhood, because I was afraid people in the neighborhood would laugh at me. On my first ride, I was a bit unsteady, and a few neighbors were out when I rode. Some smiled, and some smiled and waved. I waved back, but my face was very red (not just from the exertion). I was embarassed and afraid that the "smiles" hadn't been as polite as they'd seemed, and I was afraid that people in the houses that I couldn't see where laughing at me.

I realized that I was never going to ride the bike if I couldn't stop obsessing over what everyone thought. I decided that I couldn't control what others thought and I would assume the best. Eventually I found it easier and easier to smile and wave at the smiling wavers.

I made an even bigger break through a couple years ago:

I have health issues that cause balance issues, and every spring it takes me a few days to "relearn" how to ride a bike, and even so I can only ride the bike on extremely good days (I've been thinking about getting a recumbent trike to solve this problem but they're quite expensive).

Anyway, I got on my bike for the first time that year, and wobbled as I started my ride. I did ok for a few feet, and then lost my balance and panicked and instead of hitting the break, I steered right into the garage door - in front of a neighbor who was just getting out his bike (super fit, in the little lycra shorts and tee, with the gloves, kneepads and bike helmet).

He didn't say ANYTHING and kind of looked away embarassed, and I just found the whole situation so damned funny I couldn't stop laughing. I realized I looked like a giant seven year old trying to learn how to ride a bike.

For some reason, KNOWING I look freaking hilarious on a bike made me feel better. I look ridiculous, but so what. Laugh at me if you want, because I'm laughing too. I look silly. I look stupid. But I'm on a bike and it's fun and it's good for me, so I think as if I'm speaking to all those that might be watching - "laugh all you want, because I'm laughing too and if you're trying to hurt me - you lose, because I don't care what you think. "I win" because my laughing (and biking) is good for me - what is your laughing doing for you?"

free1
04-22-2012, 07:26 PM
GOOD for you not letting them get to you....When I was over 280, I found the vast majority of people treated me kindly. Hey, you can loose weight but you can't fix stupid :)

samcakes
04-22-2012, 07:48 PM
WHOO got back from my second 2 mile walk today (i just cant help it, its so beautiful out) no one said a word to me, except to compliment my tattoos, there is always at least one person who stops me to mention them.

i thought about it, and i really dont care what they think. it just makes me sad that people have so much hate in their hearts that they push it onto innocent bystanders.

Arctic Mama
04-22-2012, 08:18 PM
Another walk, how lovely!

And I agree with you 100%, it's sad people feel the need to be unkind to others.

MedChick87
04-22-2012, 10:45 PM
I had to remind my bf of this the other day. Not that he was necessarily making fun of anyone or throwing fat jokes, but we were walking home from class and he commented on how "slow" a girl was jogging across the street. She wasn't overweight so he wasn't insulting her body or anything. But I had to remind him that, first of all, we were WALKING and really couldn't say much about speed. Second of all, no one should ever have anything to say about how another person works out. Just the fact that they are getting exercise is amazing and SO much better than people sitting on the couch! My bf has never been overweight and pretty much has no filter for the stuff coming out of his mouth, so I know he didn't mean anything by it. But it still irked me!

lostangel05
04-22-2012, 10:57 PM
I say bravo for all of us that are trying to get fit and live healthier lives...no matter what size we currently are!

Jez
04-22-2012, 11:02 PM
I have always been uncomfortable with exercising outside, no matter my size. People are dumb, and they will yell and hoot and holler at anyone. :-/ I'm doing Couch to 5K, and I do it all on trails and paths that are away from residential areas, even though it'd be so much easier to just run around my neighborhood.

imnotperfect24
04-23-2012, 02:09 AM
I am kind of in a bad mood. My hubby and I went on a nice long walk at a popular park today. It was almost 90 degrees, and we went almost 3 miles. I was feeling proud of myself, and very upbeat, and then a car full of guys drives by slowly and starts yelling out fat jokes... really? When I see someone that is overweight being active I applaud them! This is why I like to go on night time walks, no one yells insults at you, because they cant see you.

Why is it that we get insulted for being 'lazy' or 'fat', but when we try to do something about it, we still get made fun of?

people are naturally cruel creatures.

Im not letting it get me down though, im getting ready to go for another walk now!! this day is too pretty to let a couple of goons ruin it for me

have a beautiful day everyone

My friend and I are both over weight.. Well we went for a walk and someone yelled something like "Go back to the water beach whale's." I didn't see them. They had to be rather immature to yell something like that. I mean seriously.

Samantha18
04-23-2012, 04:06 AM
My point is, the people that do that aren't going home to spread joy in their life. They are duck-tards. (Trying not to get *** for all my words! lol) They are miserable. Maybe they were born that way, maybe no one loved them, maybe no one every took the time to slap them up side the head and say "you don't act that way you turd!" But either way, they will likely continue on their way draining the happiness out of most of the people around them until some one kicks their ars, or more likely they end up old and alone in a nursing home where no one comes to visit them and the staff can barely tolerate them.
I know a lot of people believe there's good in everyone. I don't. I think some people are just crap heads. So screw them!

THIS! So much. When you get to know the person behind the insults, you find out that 99.9 percent of the time they are a miserable person. I have yet to find a rude, heartless person that isn't trashy or miserable. Instead of encouraging or admiring other people, they have to pick out faults, and their life is so bad they have to focus on other people. It's really true that people like that are the ones with the problem in the end, so it's best to brush it off! You have to wonder what kind of life they lead and about their upbringing if they can insult strangers and still feel okay with themselves at the end of the day.

scarletmeshell
04-23-2012, 09:43 AM
I'm sorry that this happened to you. I wish we could all come visit and beat the stupid out of them. Since we can't, take some comfort in the fact that they are little men without girlfriends and they will always be little men. You are changing your life, sadly they probably wont. Be proud of yourself because we are! You are saying eff you with every step!

lm3898
04-23-2012, 11:59 AM
Ugh this brings back so many memories.

I first started going for long walks with my friend [also a bit heavy] and we got things yelled at us on one occasion, and I got mooed at while walking my dogs one night...I was mortified. Because of that, I started working out with fitness videos in the privacy of my own home. Every night I would crank the AC last summer and pop in a new dvd as little my little my self-esteem returned. Eventually, I added jogging, but ONLY at night, and if I saw someone or a group I would literally cross the street. It's sick to live like that but I still get those moments.

Now, I go to kickboxing class & I feel like an equal and it's great. But I still don't like to run outside unless it's dark out...I still haven't fully gotten over the fear that someone is going to yell something out of their car even though I've lost a good amount of weight.

I hate that some stupid losers who needed to pick on me took something away from me...but there it is. My thinking is to just keep pushing though it and realize that there are a lot more people applauding you than thinking cruel thoughts. Additionally, if anyone dared to yell at me now, I'd probably yell back and tell them that at least I was working out - they are the lazy ones sitting in their freaking car yelling insults...I mean seriously?

thundahthighs
04-23-2012, 12:44 PM
The most hurtful thing that has happened to me recently was, while I was pregnant and yes, getting enormous, it came to my attention that some of the ladies in my circle of acquaintances thought I was a stuck-up b*tch and were vastly, deeply amused by how much weight I was gaining.
So I finally embraced the mantra "Let your haters be your motivators." and decided that if they wanted to think everything came easy to me without getting to know me, or getting to know the truth, I'd go ahead and let them laugh at my expanding girth, and in a few months I'll go visit them in a tank top with a nice, tight tummy, and smile in their face. Catty? Sure. But I've got weight to lose, and making their jaws drop will be all the reward I need. I'd rather have them hate me because I lost all the baby weight and am back to strutting around like I own the place than have them like me because I kept the baby weight and don't comb my hair.

Let your haters be your motivators. :carrot:

valalltogether
04-23-2012, 12:48 PM
this is why i wear headphones really loud.. haha.

be lucky i didn't hear you, cause i might just hurl a rock at your car.

samcakes
04-23-2012, 12:50 PM
i totally agree with letting your haters be your motivators. all that matters is that i love me, my hubby loves me, and my family and friends love me. ill let the haters be haters, its the only thing they are good at

Beach Patrol
04-23-2012, 01:13 PM
WHOO got back from my second 2 mile walk today (i just cant help it, its so beautiful out) no one said a word to me, except to compliment my tattoos, there is always at least one person who stops me to mention them.

i thought about it, and i really dont care what they think. it just makes me sad that people have so much hate in their hearts that they push it onto innocent bystanders.

Very happy for you!!! - just continue those "beautiful walks" - there's hardly anything in the world better than a nice walk on a beautiful day - and the best thing is that you don't let some a**hat with their ignoramus comments take that away from you!! :carrot:

...and I know what you mean about the tattoos - I always get compliments on mine too, and sometimes from people I least expect it (94-yr-old catholic grandmother... LOL!!! :D )

samcakes
04-23-2012, 01:16 PM
ive got 2 half sleeves, a large portrait on my back, my forearm, my legs, my feet, my toes etc tattooed. thats probably the only thing i will miss about being big, i wont have as much room to cover!!!