General chatter - Awkward convo on FB with guy (explained) lol




SoCalCowgirl
04-20-2012, 12:26 AM
OOOOOOOK, so here's what's up. So there's this guy on my facebook page who lives in the same state as my sister and only way she's known him was he was a coworker's son. A while back I ended up accepting his FB request, not even thinking about checking him out first, I was just quickly going through a bunch of requests of people that I knew and he got kinda mixed in I guess.

So I go out to visit my sister for a week and she tells me that he told her that he think's I'm hot. And he's older than my brother-in-law whose 27, though judging by his FB picutre I'd say early 30s. So I think nothing of it, ya know, just some random guy on FB. He doesn't seem to be the creepy or perverted older guy type but he 'likes' pokes and harmless comments on some posts, not many.

So just today he started PM'ing me through FB, again harmless nothing perverted just a simple get to know you kind of thing. So then I text my sister lol and told her he's starting to PM me and say's again, yea don't know much about him, thinks your hot, older than brother in law, up to you to ignore him or talk to him. So I started talking a little, we only had like 4 messages lol but then it just randomly stopped, liked he logged off or something.

And I should also add that I'm 22, 23 in June, but I have NO experience with guys in any way shape or form, which is really pathetic but that's what makes this whole thing kind of awkward for me. What do I do the next time he either PMs me, if there is a next time that is. Or if he continues to 'like' or comment on posts. I feel its going to be awkward here on out. And again everything seems to be harmless, he's in another state so it's not like we'll run into each other on the street. I don't want to lead him on or anything by mistake, as not knowing anything about him and the big age gap.

So now I'm just rambling and made it into a long post but this was what my evening turned out to be tonight lol and due to my lack of experience I don't know how to handle being hit on and how should deal with it.:?:


Candeka
04-20-2012, 12:32 AM
Im on my phone right now so I cant type much but early 30s is not to old for someone turning 23. Atleast not to me so dont feel awkward about that.

TiffNeedsChange
04-20-2012, 12:56 AM
I mean, just accept the compliment. If he is normal and you aren't interested he will get the message as long as you don't lead him on. Good luck! I am always careful about who I add on Facebook, if you're really concerned you can block him from seeing your posts.


SoCalCowgirl
04-20-2012, 01:05 AM
Im on my phone right now so I cant type much but early 30s is not to old for someone turning 23. Atleast not to me so dont feel awkward about that.

I actually kind of agree with you. I think the main reason why this is awkward for me is just my lack of experience with guys. I"m starting to think that even if this guy was closer to my age it would be just as awkward, so I think i'm just going to play it out and see what happens next time and see how it goes :)

SoCalCowgirl
04-20-2012, 01:13 AM
I mean, just accept the compliment. If he is normal and you aren't interested he will get the message as long as you don't lead him on. Good luck! I am always careful about who I add on Facebook, if you're really concerned you can block him from seeing your posts.

He does seem normal, which is a good thing and i'm currently undecided if im interested or not but i'm not comfortable with striking up a conversation, so if he starts another one maybe i'll get to know him a bit better and see how things go.

It's kind of crazy that i've been getting noticed by guys all of a sudden, like at school and now this guy. I just wish I had some experience so I wouldn't be so clueless around guys, especially if one comes around that I do like. I feel so preteen right now lol

Munchy
04-20-2012, 12:20 PM
Just like how you make friends, you'll meet someone. Just take it one conversation at a time. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, you know to cut ties :)

summerlove
04-20-2012, 12:31 PM
I had 0 experience with guys right up until a few years ago, and then I met my boyfriend. Even when he flirted with me, msg'd me on fb, talked to me at work etc, I was still thinking that it was part of some huge prank or joke against me....I wish I could say I was able to overcome that, but I needed a mutual friend to kind of bring us together, lol.

Thinking back to it now, I realize how silly I was. Honestly? If you're interested, go out for coffee with him and just see where it goes! Do not make the mistake of going out with him just because he likes you, if you're not interested (made that mistake before I met my boyfriend, ugghh)

cherrypie
04-20-2012, 12:34 PM
you aren't going to get more comfortable talking to men unless you do it. And not every conversation with the opposite sex means something. Guys are just people too.

theCandEs
04-20-2012, 03:40 PM
I have two friends with husbands who are 10 and 11 years older than them, so it's not unusual to have older guys notice you. Once you get to a certain age, age doesn't mean as much. As far as not being experienced, well, that comes with practice. So if you meet someone who likes you, and you like him, too, then yeah, it will be awkward, but he might think it's cute. You just have to work through the awkwardness. If he's a decent guy (and there are a lot who are), then everything will be fine. Just chill. :)

XLMuffnTop
04-20-2012, 04:12 PM
Yes, age doesn't really factor in much for me after a certain point. I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 32. The big thing for me was I could buy my own drinks. It would be weird for a 30 something man to not be able to go to a bar because his girlfriend isn't of drinking age. :)

Just talk to him like you would anyway. Even if you find out you don't want to date him, maybe he'll turn out to be a good friend? Don't put an excessive amount of pressure on yourself. Past experience doesn't matter that much really. If a guy likes you, he likes you regardless of that.

Justwant2Bhealthy
04-20-2012, 04:35 PM
What were you talking about when he stopped messaging you? One caveat -- make sure he's really single, if you can. I had guys ask me out or make nice comments, then found out they were already in a committed relationship or even married; and they were just kinda smoozing for ego strokes. :rolleyes:
This may not be the case, but I do find it odd that he ditched the conversation without an explanation -- that doesn't sound very polite to me.

And age only matters, if it matters to you or the guy. I found it awkward when 17 year old guys asked me out. While I was very flattered, and even though I was only in my twenties, I felt like I would be robbing the cradle so2speak. I would joke and say, "Are you legal?" :lol: Well, not old enuff to have a drink with me anyways.

In the future, just talk to guys like you would a friend or a brother. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Trust me, you will look back on this and laugh about it. We often worry about stuff that isn't a big deal really. Just enjoy the friendship, and take it slow ... :D

bt2155
04-20-2012, 04:57 PM
He does seem normal, which is a good thing and i'm currently undecided if im interested or not but i'm not comfortable with striking up a conversation, so if he starts another one maybe i'll get to know him a bit better and see how things go.

It's kind of crazy that i've been getting noticed by guys all of a sudden, like at school and now this guy. I just wish I had some experience so I wouldn't be so clueless around guys, especially if one comes around that I do like. I feel so preteen right now lol

I have always been the same way with guys! I'm 24 and now have been in a relationship for two years and to be honest, the best times with him have been the ones where I was super ackward and he just loves every second of it.

Don't worry about being weird around guys! Sadly enough, many of them like it when we're a little clueless! :-)

Anssett
04-21-2012, 02:10 PM
It's not impossible for a guy in his early 30s to be into a 22 year old girl in a good way, but it's a bit suspicious (as far as I'm concerned). Do a lot of due diligence. I wouldn't date someone your age! Make sure he's single and doesn't have a history of 20ish girlfriends because he likes people who are inexperienced.

SoCalCowgirl
04-21-2012, 07:28 PM
thank's so much for all the advice everyone! He hasn't FB me since the convo so I have a feeling it's not going to go anywhere which is totally fine by me, i've been dealing with being single all my life, so I just kind of go with the flow :)