General chatter - Does Being Thin Trump Being Pretty?




guacamole
04-16-2012, 07:23 PM
I was wondering what everyone's take is on this. I have noticed that being thin forgives being unattractive. For example, if you have two women standing side by side and -

Woman #1 is thin, has a great body, great fashion sense, and an unattractive face and nothing special hair

and Woman #2 is 50lbs+ overweight, not toned, great fashion sense, and has a gorgeous face and luxurious hair

- if you asked people to vote on which one was better looking (or if you only polled men and asked which one he would want to date), most people would pick the thin woman.

I realize beauty is subjective, but I have heard women described as beautiful who, strictly judging by their face alone, I would not call beautiful. However, they are thin and look good in the clothes they wear. I have also heard overweight women being put down about their looks who, strictly judging by their face alone, I would call beautiful. However, the overall effect of their appearance is lessened because of their weight (and possibly their clothing choices are limited because of being restricted to plus size shopping options).

Of course, there are the women we all love to hate who are both thin and beautiful by anyone's standards! However, I am not talking about "those" women. Rather, your average woman who gets a few "extra points" either on or off her appearance based on weight alone.

So, does being thin make up for not being beautiful? Do people perceive thinner women as being beautiful even if they really aren't?

I know this is a really shallow post - so please don't hate me! It's just an observation I have made and wonder if anyone else has noticed this. Don't ask me if this is a category where I fit in, because I am overweight and not particularly beautiful. However, I do wonder if my "pretty points" would/will rise when I get to my goal weight. ;)


threenorns
04-16-2012, 07:29 PM
i haven't noticed that at all.

what i've noticed is that guys who are into skinny chicks will pick the skinny chick regardless of what she looks like while guys who like chicks with some meat on their bones will pick the big chick, regardless of what she looks like.

my bff and i - she's tall and lanky, i'm short and stumpy. if a guy is attracted to her or to me, there is no chance EVER of them coming onto the other of us like you hear so often.




you know what? it's like blondes, redheads, big boobs, oriental girls - if a guy's into big boobs, he's not going to pick the skinny chick unless she's sporting a rack. if the skinny chick's got black hair but he's into blondes or redheads, that's what will tip the vote.

guacamole
04-16-2012, 07:32 PM
threenorns - I agree it is subjective. I think I have just been around a lot of people who worship skinny lately!


baker23
04-16-2012, 07:39 PM
I'm sure it does for some people but I don't think its as straight forward as that. From what I've seen, its 50/50 on men who gravitate towards someone who's attractive rather then a perfect body, and vise versa...

Thin doesn't necessary mean beautiful, just like ugly doesn't necessary mean unattractive...Personality dominates ;)

Candeka
04-16-2012, 07:53 PM
I think it depends what we consider skinny and what we consider over weight. I would definently choose the prettier girl even if she was 25-50 pounds over weight, but if you are boarding the obese line, I think that's when the skinny yet unattractive girl starts winning.

Wisertime
04-16-2012, 08:08 PM
Hi All,

I haven't posted to 3FC in a long time but I had to respond to this.

To answer your question about polling men I think a very high percentage would choose the thin but not so pretty woman versus the overweight/pretty face woman. Yes, I know it's subjective but all you have to do is look around. I think the men would even tell you the the overweight woman has a pretty face but if the next question is "Which one would you like to take on a date?" nine times out of ten he'll go for the thin one. Sad but true.

Lynn

Jez
04-16-2012, 08:24 PM
I think more often than not it is only the body that makes someone conventionally "hot". That said, I've always been a fan of faces. That's where I'm either attracted or not.

oriental girls Asian. :)

Nadya
04-16-2012, 08:42 PM
There's a negative stigma attached to dating heavier women. The term "chubby chaser" isn't supposed to be a compliment so I wonder if it has less to do with actual physical attractiveness and more to do with reputation.

luckymommy
04-16-2012, 09:21 PM
I think most men that I've encountered definitely like a woman on the thinner side. There are exceptions and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I can say this based on my personal experience. When I was heavier, I would sometimes make such an effort to look my best (mostly for myself of course) but I was invisible to the world. Now, I can go out with no makeup and my hair a frizzy mess or in a pony tail and I get treated quite differently by men. It's sad but true. However, I would like to add that the same thing goes for women. I feel like women find me so much more interesting now (not everyone because some of my closest friends treat me the same) and they want to be my friend much, much more....I also get invited to a lot more social gatherings. At first, I found myself offended by all of this, but now, I just don't really pay attention. I think it's part of our society to judge people based on their weight. It's possible that maybe my increased confidence sends out a different message, but it's impossible for me to ascertain if that's really what's going on.

valalltogether
04-16-2012, 09:33 PM
Woman #1 is thin, has a great body, great fashion sense, and an unattractive face and nothing special hair



i believe this is known as a butterface. i'd rather be 50lbs overweight, quite frankly. weight can be shed. you can't shed ugly. :(

chickadee32
04-16-2012, 09:47 PM
I have to wonder whether it's biological rather than simply liking thinner women over prettier women. Attractive is a nice plus, but we are programmed to look for mates who will produce healthy offspring... and obesity in many cases will hide all those visual clues that point to health.


i believe this is known as a butterface. i'd rather be 50lbs overweight, quite frankly. weight can be shed. you can't shed ugly. :(

Indeed. As long as I were still healthy, I'd probably be willing to put a few pounds back on if doing so would make me pretty.

threenorns
04-16-2012, 10:01 PM
actually, oddly enough, skinniness is what hides the natural signs of fecundity.

you have to remember that this so-called preference for thin is a very very recent phenomenon and it's limited, culturally speaking.

the majority of the world is still aligned with mother nature, who prefers women with big hips (that's why they're called "child-bearing"), big boobs (all the better to breastfeed), and junk in the trunk (means she's more likely to survive a long, cold winter with little to no food and so will her babies).

the obsession with thin in our society is, let's call it what it is, a form of pedophilia, since thin women look pre-pubescent and was first encountered with the "flapper" girls of the 1920s.

it's also to do with sex - by looking pre-pubescent, it gives a subliminal impression of virginity (which is utterly and completely ridiculous as anybody who's had the unfortunate experience of initiating a virgin will attest).

chickadee32
04-16-2012, 10:32 PM
I definitely agree there's a cultural influence, and that wanting a skinny mate in (primarily) western European cultures is a recent phenomenon. I was really thinking of normal weight vs. morbidly obese - which does often hide or alter the symmetry and waist to hip ratio that are visual cues of health and attractiveness for many cultures.

I may have had bigger hips and boobs when I was 280, but they were hard to distinguish from my large waist - whereas now my waist vs. hips are clearly distinguishable. There are, of course, those who still have a "womanly" shape at high weights (I just wasn't one of them) - and I do indeed think we (collective we) generally find those women more attractive than another overweight woman whose shape is different.

JohnP
04-16-2012, 10:45 PM
What is attractive to the opposite sex is going to vary a lot by the individual based on a multitude of factors.

Having said that there are several common denominators which are:

Waist to hip ratio, Symmetry,Confidence

There are even going to be exceptions to these, as well.

threenorns
04-16-2012, 10:52 PM
Asian. :)


not all asian people are oriental.

Vex
04-16-2012, 10:57 PM
I don't know, I agree it's probably a matter of individual preference. However, I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "you have such a pretty face...if only...."

I guarantee you one thing though, put their annual salaries below in the picture, and thinness/beauty starts to take a back seat. :P

TiffNeedsChange
04-16-2012, 11:08 PM
Well I have to say you're right. Not to toot my own horn but when I am thin I am gorgeous (was scouted by modeling agencies in my late teens)... men were falling all over me... as the weight crept up, less and less men pursued me. Id have to say a major change occurred at 200 pounds. I was raped when I was 19 and about 170pounds-after that I just kept packing on the pounds and enjoyed the decreased attention(there were other contributing factors). But now that I am fat, men interact more comfortably with me which I assume is because they automatically ruleout me out as an 'interest'because of my weight. That said even last month I had a couple of really attractive doctors hit on me, so who know-it could be my previous lack of confidence which I have Been working on for quite some time but just recently started getting it back.

threenorns
04-16-2012, 11:17 PM
you still can't single out being big as the culprit - by your own words, you were actively trying to run off guys so the only ones you're going to get are the excessively persistent or the ones who cannot or will not take a hint.

i think being big gives me an advantage in finding a guy: bec they're more comfortable with me, they have time to get to know me as a person before they think about jumping in the sack.

lord knows i've tried to get rid of whatever-he-is-today but what am i gonna do: today he cooked me a *properly-portioned* steak exactly how i like it, with soba noodles (which i could actually eat since they're soy, not wheat), and stir-fried veg, chinese style (carrots and green beans).

doesn't sound like much except he's hindu.

we were friends and chatted and dated casually for a very long time before we jumped into bed. .... well, okay, *for me* it was a very long time - a good three weeks or so, lol.

SensualSiren
04-17-2012, 12:19 AM
I disagree that guys have a particular favorite body type. It has been my experience who a guy that likes big breasts will totally love small breasts if they like a girl who happens to have small breasts. Ditto for all other body shapes/sizes. It depends on the person. I do think that some people who are insecure will not admit it sometimes. Before we met, my husband dated a very, very thin girl who had small breasts. When we met, I was a lot thinner, but I was still curvy. It drove me crazy at first because I thought that he could not like me if he liked her. However, he did, and after I listened to what my male friends/acquaintances were saying I realized that attraction is not always consistent.

MusicalAstronaut
04-17-2012, 01:16 AM
Hi All,

I haven't posted to 3FC in a long time but I had to respond to this.

To answer your question about polling men I think a very high percentage would choose the thin but not so pretty woman versus the overweight/pretty face woman. Yes, I know it's subjective but all you have to do is look around. I think the men would even tell you the the overweight woman has a pretty face but if the next question is "Which one would you like to take on a date?" nine times out of ten he'll go for the thin one. Sad but true.

Lynn

Yeah, this is what I've always seen. When you boil it down to basic biology, men are looking at our bodies, not our faces. This doesn't mean all men are pigs or anything, but at first glace that's what they're basing the decision on.

Goody3shoes
04-17-2012, 07:44 AM
My grama always says "what a shame, she has such a pretty face." I do think that there are a lot of factors that go into people's decisions about what is pretty and what isn't, but I think that women who are thin tend to be forgiven for their facial features a lot of the time. If you take an average to downright unattractive face and put it on a skinny girl and a fat girl, the skinny girl will be thought of as prettier, either the face will be ignored or she will be a but-her-face. I've been all over the weight scale from my ballet days to right now, but I haven't really noticed much of a difference because a lot of my weight is in my boobs. I've always had an entourage of boys, ever since I was old enough for boys to not think girls have cooties, regardless of my weight. But that's because of my boobs and my personality... I think. So I don't think thin trumps pretty, but I do think that being thin gives unattractive features a pass.

Amy23
04-17-2012, 08:02 AM
In my experience, the guys I've met will take a skinny but unattractive girl over a fat girl any day. I don't understand it, tbh, but that's the way I've always seen things to be.

IMO I'd take being fat over having a really unattractive face. *shrug*

SugarRomeoTango4852
04-17-2012, 09:36 AM
I have to say, I agree with most of the others on this board that men will take a thin female with a not so attractive face over someone overweight with a beautiful face.

I have seen it over and over (and even experienced it a few times).

I, personally, think it comes down to confidance. Not of the women but of the men. As someone stated, it is not a good thing to be considered a "chubby chaser" and that title and the stigma of dating a pretty but overweight girl is what drives guys away more than anything. They are not confidant in how their friends, family, even strangers will react to seeing them dating someone overweight. I have also noticed that (at least in my area) the many men who are considered "chubby chasers" are above average in the looks department, which gives them the confidance (and ability) to do what they want.

I, personally, think that if you don't want me when I am overweight that you don't deserve me when I am thinner.

Amy23
04-17-2012, 09:57 AM
I, personally, think that if you don't want me when I am overweight that you don't deserve me when I am thinner.

This is pretty much how I think. A lot of people could argue that this mindset is not fair, and "why should a guy date a girl who 'doesn't take care of herself?' *You* wouldn't date a fat guy!" but I vehemently disagree. I would date an overweight guy if I connected with him and really liked him.

I've been virtually tormented by randoms in my town simply because I'm fat. I'm treated like a second-class citizen. If any of those guys dares approach me when I lose weight, they'll wish they hadn't. I don't care if I "didn't take care of myself." Being overweight does not give others a free pass to make you pay for it. Being fat is not a crime and yet it's often treated like one.

Ugh.

banananutmuffin
04-17-2012, 10:11 AM
In response to the original question, I don't think thin trumps pretty ALL of the time, but I think it does sometimes. I think a lot of it has to do with "how" thin/fat we're talking about. For most guys, it doesn't matter if you've got the most beautiful face in the world if you are 100+ pounds overweight. But if you're 20 pounds overweight and gorgeous, and you're friend is thin but ugly, I'd guess that gorgeous would win out.

The factors here are too varied to make any generalizations anyway. Personality, what is considered an "ugly" or "beautiful" face, etc. all come into play.

Do guys have "types?" Some do, some don't. Again, it's way to varied to say.

I think biologically men are driven to find women who are fertile, and this means not TOO thin. They want some hips, some boobs, some youth... all the things that might say "This lady sure can birth some babies!"

But I also think our culture has shifted that perspective of beauty. Because food is in abundance now, the body to achieve is the one that's difficult: very thin.

I have a group of male friends. Among them, 50% like girls with some meat on their bones, and 50% like thinner women. But personality has always been the final note. If one of the thin-lovin' guys finds a hot, thin, beautiful woman, he will still dump her if she's crazy, weird or stupid.

ETA: I'm not really sure it's fair to say someone has an "ugly" face, either, regardless of their size. I mean... beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have had plenty of people in my life tell me that I have an ugly face, and I've had plenty tell me that I'm beautiful. So who's right? You might see me and say "That's a thin girl with an ugly face, why does she have such a hot husband?" and someone else might see me and say "That's a pretty, thin girl, no wonder she has a hot husband."

fitness4life
04-17-2012, 10:21 AM
What I've noticed as a skinny person who has mostly over weight friends is that my friends get hit on first at a bar. But that could be that in heals, I'm close to 6' tall and most guys are around 5'9", so it's not a fair comparison.

What's solid in my mind, though, is no matter what one looks like, the sweetest girls keep the guy.

There's a woman in my gym. She possesses every stereotypical "ugly" in the book. Facial hair, big hairy moles on her face and body, acne, rediculously unkept hair, extremely over weight, you name it. She is the nicest person on Earth and has a husband who adores her and vice versa. She's a teacher and he even has a tat "hot for teacher"; it's very sweet.

I find myself envious of her.

Go figure.

Good debate!

mammasita
04-17-2012, 10:29 AM
not all asian people are oriental.

Rugs and objects are oriental, people are not.

Asian describes anyone or anything from or related to any country in Asia (China, India, Vietnam, Philippines, Japan)

just sayin :D

krampus
04-17-2012, 11:00 AM
Being thin doesn't = pretty, but it suggests you put forth effort into maintaining a healthy childbearing vehicle.

I'd rather be thin with a meh face than 50 lbs overweight. Either way someone would like me for me, so why not choose health?

Also Asian and oriental have different connotations in UK/CAN, "Asian" is what Americans call "brown" or "subcontinental Asian" in the UK right?

Vex
04-17-2012, 11:10 AM
I read somewhere once that "over 50% of men would consider their wife gaining over 100lbs grounds for divorce. " (sorry, I don't recall the link or id post it, i think it was in men's health maybe)

So, even if your face stays exactly the same when you're married, better not let that body change.

Sad, really.

threenorns
04-17-2012, 11:12 AM
Rugs and objects are oriental, people are not.

Asian describes anyone or anything from or related to any country in Asia (China, India, Vietnam, Philippines, Japan)

just sayin :D

oriental means "from the orient" and when dealing with humans refers to a specific phenotype - not all asian people have the epicanthic fold but all orientals do.

india, sri lanka, afghanistan, azerbaijan, and the UAE are also asia, among many other countries, and, to split a fine detail, First Nations are also oriental in origin, not "asian" since they didn't come from india or the UAE.

fyreflie24
04-17-2012, 11:19 AM
OK so my first thought to this was, "lord I hope so because the body is getting smaller but the face is hopeless" LOL!!

It's a fascinating question. Once thing I am so grateful for is a husband who loves me at every size, and I've been a lot of them. If you ask him, he'd probably say he prefers me thinner because *I'm* happier and frankly, way more active and fun to be around. Living with the depression that always seems to accompany my big weight gains can't be fun.

I was thinner when I was single, and regardless of my size I was never particularly interesting to the opposite sex; I just got lucky and found a few guys who seems to like me for who I was. Go figure :)

philana
04-17-2012, 11:25 AM
You know, I've noticed the past few years that I dont really see any 'ugly' people so much anymore. I used to really look at that, and be like "oh I want to be pretty like her, and omg glad I am not him or her." But as the years go by, I somehow came to the conclusion that as to the appearance of prettiness or ugly-ness there's only just 2 factors:

1. Does a person look healthy, clean and like he she has attention for their looks in a positive manner, meaning:
- Not the clothes from 30 years ago that state "I don't care what y'all think about me, Im gonna do my own thing, but actually.. I am super insecure and thinking I am ugly"
- No horribly bad looking teeth (more about clean than about if they are aligned perfect)
- No big frown or scowl constantly but an open look

2. The way a person carries him/herself is detrimental to the appearance of pretty/ugly.

I BELIEVE that anybody can look pretty. The people I judge as 'ugly' usually just are either hiding themselves in this big wave of "Ha! I don't care" or have no clue what to do with themselves. They choose the shirts that their friends wear while it doesn't suit them or they cut their hair convienently instead of what works for their face. It is rather shocking how many people just have no clue what works for them though. Looking so much at what others do.

Update: as to what makes men happy (who cares? lol!) - if their wife is thinner than them or atleast not bigger than them. http://news.discovery.com/human/thinner-wife-happier-marriage-110725.html

Beach Patrol
04-17-2012, 12:10 PM
I think, more often than not, people PROJECT their own opinions/beliefs/drathers onto others without having any clue what others are actually thinking/hoping/wishing/etc.

Oh, and "different strokes for different folks" and all that. ;) :D

Exhale15
04-17-2012, 04:32 PM
What a great thread!
Let me throw this out there:

Would you rather be thinner with, say, hypertension on meds or some other issue or heavier but with perfect 'labs'...

Trazey34
04-17-2012, 04:55 PM
My husband says he'd rather have a pretty face to look at forever than a thin body!

However, isn't there a poll out there somewhere that says something ridiculous like 40% of women would rather have CANCER than be FAT?!

TiffNeedsChange
04-17-2012, 07:02 PM
Wow, I would much rather be fat than have cancer! That is just crazy talk!

Jez
04-17-2012, 07:52 PM
However, isn't there a poll out there somewhere that says something ridiculous like 40% of women would rather have CANCER than be FAT?! Oh, good lord, I hope not.

You know, I've noticed the past few years that I dont really see any 'ugly' people so much anymore. I used to really look at that, and be like "oh I want to be pretty like her, and omg glad I am not him or her." But as the years go by, I somehow came to the conclusion that as to the appearance of prettiness or ugly-ness there's only just 2 factors:

1. Does a person look healthy, clean and like he she has attention for their looks in a positive manner, meaning:
- Not the clothes from 30 years ago that state "I don't care what y'all think about me, Im gonna do my own thing, but actually.. I am super insecure and thinking I am ugly"
- No horribly bad looking teeth (more about clean than about if they are aligned perfect)
- No big frown or scowl constantly but an open look

2. The way a person carries him/herself is detrimental to the appearance of pretty/ugly.

I BELIEVE that anybody can look pretty. The people I judge as 'ugly' usually just are either hiding themselves in this big wave of "Ha! I don't care" or have no clue what to do with themselves. They choose the shirts that their friends wear while it doesn't suit them or they cut their hair convienently instead of what works for their face. It is rather shocking how many people just have no clue what works for them though. Looking so much at what others do. I pretty much feel this way now, too. It does seem to come down to just taking pride in your appearance.


oriental means "from the orient" and when dealing with humans refers to a specific phenotype - not all asian people have the epicanthic fold but all orientals do.

india, sri lanka, afghanistan, azerbaijan, and the UAE are also asia, among many other countries, and, to split a fine detail, First Nations are also oriental in origin, not "asian" since they didn't come from india or the UAE.I was just informing you that the term oriental for people is outdated, and is generally seen as derogatory and offensive. If you choose not to change your word choice, that's on you. There is nothing to debate here.

Pepino
04-17-2012, 08:25 PM
I feel that a pretty face and over-weight trumps thin with an unattractive face.

However, my husband feels the opposite. He would rather be with a woman with an attractive body and unattractive face than a woman with an attractive face but unattractive body.

A long time ago we were once watching a show and he said "She's hot" about a woman who I thought was very unattractive. I said "Really?!?!" as she was not what I would traditionally think of as pretty. So he expanded "Well her body is hot". So basically, he said that a girl has to be pretty to be pretty but just has to have a good body to be hot.

Oh and I totally agree that BOTH GENDERS treat you differently based on your appaerance. When I am dressed to the 9's with my makeup perfectly applied Men and WOMEN treat me better and are friendlier towards me then when I barely have makeup on.

I've also noticed that people are more polite to me when I wear skirts and dresses even though I have very nice dressy pants/shirts. So weird!!!
Like way more people of both genders will hold the door for me.

ValRock
04-17-2012, 08:51 PM
There are too many factors for me to say, personally.

I just asked my husband and he said he'd take a pretty face, attached to any body, hands down. Then he said "I have to look at your face all day long, not your ***!" Ohhhh this man, he has a way with words. LOL.

Elladorine
04-17-2012, 08:53 PM
I think a lot of people view excess weight as a character flaw, especially if they've either never struggled with their own weight or if they're oblivious to the real issues behind weight problems.

Notice that so many are quick to say, "Such a shame about her weight, she has such a pretty face." That explains so much right there. Fat people are lazy, greedy, mentally weak, and are completely responsible for making themselves "ugly." Someone that was not blessed with what society would deem a beautiful face, well . . . it's not her fault, if she has a nice figure at least she takes care of herself, right?

Obviously not my mentality but I'll be damned if I don't see it everywhere.

pixelllate
04-17-2012, 09:19 PM
Hmm I think that I would consider the more appealing face more beautiful, but who is overall more attractive? That might be different, because that to me is a culmination of various factors (body/face/dress etc).

I guess that there is a movement towards pro-skinny-IDK, I think that it depends on the culture itself too. I know that where my fam is from (Hong Kong) even the older generation prefers very thin.
I visited the met costume exhibit and saw all these upper class old fashioned clothes from centuries before. Tiny waists, even if (judging from portraits) the women were otherwise rounder everywhere else but more tight corsets. Well I guess the waist was never a popular area to gain! BOO.
Anyways, I heard somewhere that it was tied to wealth. That in the past, you were rich and you could eat a lot and the beauty standard was geared towards a larger figure. But in the modern era, there are increasingly more poor neighborhoods where people are very overweight and wealthy neighborhoods where people are very slender, so that may have influenced the beauty standard a bit-or the other way around, or a bit of both.
Either way I've been bigger than any of the "beautiful" figures in any era in most cultures-its fine w/ me lol, I just notice that it either ranges from being slightly larger to slender, but only in a few examples have I seen very large figures be the beauty standard.

Wisertime
04-17-2012, 09:29 PM
I think a lot of people view excess weight as a character flaw, especially if they've either never struggled with their own weight or if they're oblivious to the real issues behind weight problems.

Notice that so many are quick to say, "Such a shame about her weight, she has such a pretty face." That explains so much right there. Fat people are lazy, greedy, mentally weak, and are completely responsible for making themselves "ugly." Someone that was not blessed with what society would deem a beautiful face, well . . . it's not her fault, if she has a nice figure at least she takes care of herself, right?

Obviously not my mentality but I'll be damned if I don't see it everywhere.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "such a pretty face" ....well ok I wouldn't have that much :lol3: but I've heard it enough in my 20's and 30's that it made me a little mad. Why wasn't it enough? I used to go all out making sure my makeup was perfect and making sure my clothes looked nice but no matter, no one could see past my weight. I've even had men (even a few handsome ones) tell me I had nice eyes but it wouldn't go beyond that. I don't know....I guess I shouldn't think about it too much, it's ancient history now.

Lynn

Elladorine
04-17-2012, 09:56 PM
If I had a dollar for every time I heard "such a pretty face" ....well ok I wouldn't have that much :lol3: but I've heard it enough in my 20's and 30's that it made me a little mad. Why wasn't it enough? I used to go all out making sure my makeup was perfect and making sure my clothes looked nice but no matter, no one could see past my weight. I've even had men (even a few handsome ones) tell me I had nice eyes but it wouldn't go beyond that. I don't know....I guess I shouldn't think about it too much, it's ancient history now.

Lynn
I've heard it enough too, that I have pretty eyes, a pretty face, a "unique" face, even an "interesting" face. And no matter what, it's all been secondary to my weight.

pixelllate
04-18-2012, 12:57 AM
If I had a dollar for every time I heard "such a pretty face" ....well ok I wouldn't have that much :lol3: but I've heard it enough in my 20's and 30's that it made me a little mad. Why wasn't it enough? I used to go all out making sure my makeup was perfect and making sure my clothes looked nice but no matter, no one could see past my weight. I've even had men (even a few handsome ones) tell me I had nice eyes but it wouldn't go beyond that. I don't know....I guess I shouldn't think about it too much, it's ancient history now.

Lynn

Oh yah, same here. I actually quit caring about my face because I am quite sure its at least decent looking. But then again, I guess with someone like Sarah Jessica Parker, she gets the opposite comments-at least from my friends, and not really in a congratulatory sense-more like a "butterface" sense. That must suck too for some people =/

Pepino
04-18-2012, 01:50 AM
Oh yah, same here. I actually quit caring about my face because I am quite sure its at least decent looking. But then again, I guess with someone like Sarah Jessica Parker, she gets the opposite comments-at least from my friends, and not really in a congratulatory sense-more like a "butterface" sense. That must suck too for some people =/

That is a really good example because she is SUPER TINY! ! Like soooo tiny! Her belly is itty, bitty!!! I do find her pretty but not in a traditional sense and not from every angle lol. My husband thinks she's hot but I've heard many TV personalities imply that she's ugly or call her horse face and stuff like that (Poor Jessica, that's so mean :().

Apparently Kristen Davis (Charlotte) originally auditioned to play Carrie on SATC but was told she was too big for the role! Can you imagine?!?! She's soooo pretty!!!!

kaplods
04-18-2012, 01:53 AM
Not only are there people who will make their choice of friends, employees, lovers, and spouses based on superficial criteria, those criteria can vary and there are people who judge on deeper criteria.

For some facial beauty will trump physical beauty.

For others, physical shape/condition will trump facial beauty.

For others, wealth may trump all else.

I've always sought the attention (whether for friendship or dating) of people for whom intelligence, social skills, and other deeper attributes are trump.

My hubby is a perfect example. I found him as a result of my placing a personal ad. Physically neither of us would have chosen the other as our ideal, but we were both open to giving friendship (if not romance) a chance. We fell in love with the deeper stuff, and it sort of transformed our interpretation of the physical. The more we learned about each other, the more we liked, and the more we liked each other, the more physically appealing we found each other.

If I had to pick a man out of a catalog, by looks alone, I wouldn't have picked my husband (and he wouldn't have picked me, either). Luckily, we both were open to dating physically imperfect partners who had more important (to us) qualities.

I think looks are always part of the equation, but how much of the equation really depends on the individual. For some people it will be 98%, while for others it will be 2%.

pixelllate
04-18-2012, 11:01 AM
That is a really good example because she is SUPER TINY! ! Like soooo tiny! Her belly is itty, bitty!!! I do find her pretty but not in a traditional sense and not from every angle lol. My husband thinks she's hot but I've heard many TV personalities imply that she's ugly or call her horse face and stuff like that (Poor Jessica, that's so mean :().

Apparently Kristen Davis (Charlotte) originally auditioned to play Carrie on SATC but was told she was too big for the role! Can you imagine?!?! She's soooo pretty!!!!

I'm not sure if she toned up for the 1st movie but that shower scene in Mexico-Charlotte looked AMAZING. Her stomach-wow.
Funny thing is that while I thought that it was great that SJP worked out, I was never amazed by her figure until I looked up on Youtube Sarah jessica parker bra (its a scene in Sex and the City). Seriously worth checking out!

krampus
04-18-2012, 11:07 AM
Apparently Kristen Davis (Charlotte) originally auditioned to play Carrie on SATC but was told she was too big for the role! Can you imagine?!?! She's soooo pretty!!!!

The episode where they get together and complain about their bodily insecurities is pretty funny to me, esp when Charlotte whines about her thighs.

SJP is JACKED.

cherrypie
04-18-2012, 11:24 AM
I really don't think that men like as skinny a woman as women imagine they do. I think a lot of times we aren't getting the attention from men when we are a little heavier because of our confidence issues and not because of our weight.

Beach Patrol
04-18-2012, 11:49 AM
The fact is that different people have different definitions of "beauty" or attractiveness. And those definitions have changed throughout time and all across the world. What a specific person is or isn't attracted to is just that: SPECIFIC.

I personally do not like fat. On men or women. Fat is not attractive (IMHO). I certainly don't like it on myself! I have never been attracted to a fat person. EXCEPT THIS ONE TIME. Yes, once, I was attracted to a fat man. He was very handsome - WHAT A FACE!!! (equivalent to "such a pretty face") but he was short (that's ok, I like short men because I'm short!) and quite "round". I fought with myself over whether or not to date him. But his personality & sense of humor & intelligence won me over. We dated on/off for quite a long time. Distance was the main thing that eventually separated us for good. But even now I look back & am surprised at my attraction to him. And even now I understand that I wasn't truly attracted to him in the beginning, but his overall personality really made me MORE attracted to him. So I do believe it's true that a really good personality makes a person more attractive. The trick is getting someone to notice you for your personality. NOT EASY! because let's face it, the first thing people "see" is what they SEE. Unless they're blind.

I had the same thing with a man I dated who was bald. Very handsome otherwise!- but I was a very "like the hair" kinda gal. I never was attracted to bald men. NEVER EVER. Then there was this one guy... he was so sweet & so awesome in other ways, pretty soon I was over-looking that bald thing... and even came to realize that now, yes, I can be attracted to bald men.

My husband was in great shape when we met. In the past 19 years, he's gotten older, lost his hair (!!!!) and yes, gained weight. I am not attracted to his "Buddha Belly" - but everything else about him, including his bald head (!!!!) is yummy to me. So I over-look his Buddha Belly. I still want him to lose weight, for his health! - just as I want to complete my weight loss for my health. And just as I feel "better" about myself when I'm thinner, so does he. No doubt about it y'all! Fat is unwelcome in our society. That doesn't mean that a person who is fat is unworthy of loving or being loved.

And speaking of Buddha... here's a little quote for you all to enjoy:
To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.

krampus
04-18-2012, 12:06 PM
I really don't think that men like as skinny a woman as women imagine they do.

I disagree partially with this - few men would dismiss swimsuit models as "too skinny" and we're deluding ourselves to think otherwise - but I think most guys have a wider range of "acceptable" body types than women imagine. Lots of guys would say "yes" to Zhang Ziyi, Rihanna, and Christina Hendricks - even though Christina probably weighs 50+ lbs more than Zhang.

pixelllate
04-18-2012, 12:42 PM
I disagree partially with this - few men would dismiss swimsuit models as "too skinny" and we're deluding ourselves to think otherwise - but I think most guys have a wider range of "acceptable" body types than women imagine. Lots of guys would say "yes" to Zhang Ziyi, Rihanna, and Christina Hendricks - even though Christina probably weighs 50+ lbs more than Zhang.

Yup and there's a difference between what they idealize and what they can actually get-I'm sure that they are happy to be with someone who they find attractive, but its unlikely that anyone would hold out for their #1 ideal partner(speaking only in a physical sense). There are only so many Halle Berrys and Sofia Vergaras in the world! hahaha
In a way I'm like that-if Rodrigo Santoro walked by me I would FLIPPP. If Owen wilson did (and if he wasn't a celeb) I'd be like oh he's nice looking, but I would certainly be happy to talk to him and see if things worked out.

Durian
06-14-2012, 04:22 PM
IMO I'd take being fat over having a really unattractive face. *shrug*

Yes. I can lose weight, I cannot (reasonably) change my face.


I, personally, think that if you don't want me when I am overweight that you don't deserve me when I am thinner.

Yes.

daniprice
06-15-2012, 07:10 AM
This is a complicated question because everyone has different things they look for when they consider someone attractive. Also, how we carry ourselves and personality does play a role in how attractive we seem. But just keeping it to the most superficial, I have a few thoughts:

1. You can't have sex with a face. So while a pretty face is great to smile at, if a man (or woman) is not attracted to the body that goes with it there is a problem.

2. Let's just be real. A pretty face is not as pretty with 50+ pounds. I just lost about 44, and let me tell you, at my top weight, my pretty face was getting roundish and kinda stretched out. A double chin can offset a pretty face handily.

3. Depends on where you carry it. Most of my weight is in my hips and thighs. I still have a defined waist even when overweight and big boobs. There are actually lots of men and women (i'm black so this is very true in my community) who don't like skinny, they like curves and some softness. This doesn't mean 50+ pounds though.

So in the end, I think a "great body" is going to attract people just as a "pretty face" would, but I think we need to be real about what weight does to our faces.

RedPanda
06-15-2012, 07:58 AM
1. You can't have sex with a face. So while a pretty face is great to smile at, if a man (or woman) is not attracted to the body that goes with it there is a problem.

Yep. Most men say that an attractive body is more important than a pretty face.

2. Let's just be real. A pretty face is not as pretty with 50+ pounds. I just lost about 44, and let me tell you, at my top weight, my pretty face was getting roundish and kinda stretched out. A double chin can offset a pretty face handily.

Yep.

3. Depends on where you carry it. Most of my weight is in my hips and thighs. I still have a defined waist even when overweight and big boobs. There are actually lots of men and women (i'm black so this is very true in my community) who don't like skinny, they like curves and some softness. This doesn't mean 50+ pounds though.

Yep again. Even at my heaviest, I had a defined waist , but let's face it - you can't be an hourglass if all the sand has sunk to the bottom.

When I was younger, I was considered to be very pretty (but fat). Now that I'm a lot older and have to settle for "attractive" (but am slim) I enjoy the benefits of thin privilege. So in terms of societal approval, the way you are treated in the workplace, and day-to-day dealings with other people, thin beats pretty every time.

PinkLotus
06-15-2012, 12:13 PM
I think that generally speaking most men would choose a plain (for lack of a better word) thin girl over a gorgeous overweight girl. Definitely not all men though...but in my experience, thin trumps pretty more often than not.
If I had to choose, I think I would rather be thin and healthy with an ordinary-ish face. I wouldn't want to be hideous or anything lol, but at this point in my life, I think that's what I would prefer. Makeup can do wonders for women!
I would love to be petite and be able to wear bathing suits, shorts, short skirts, etc and know I looked good in them. I can't do that now, and to be honest, I'm not sure I'll ever feel comfortable wearing things like that.

Katbot24
06-15-2012, 12:59 PM
It depends on the guy. Lots of the men in my life (ex's, my fiance, friends and my dad) would NOT go for a woman with a particularly ugly face, regardless of her body.

My dad always used Jamie Lee Curtis' strip tease in True Lies as an example. (For those unfamiliar, here's a link, NSFW - lady in underoos)

http://gallery.future-i.com/celebs/pic:curtis-true-lies-dance-1/full-size

He always joked that while the body is red hot, he'd have to put a paper bag over her head to erm..get aroused. (my dad is very candid about sexuality)

I have friends that will go for the scrawniest of scrawny women exclusively too.

I guess my answer is...it depends on the guy?

novangel
06-15-2012, 08:28 PM
So, does being thin make up for not being beautiful?

Do people perceive thinner women as being beautiful even if they really aren't?


To some (most) men I would say yes.

Second question: No.

Thedollylala
06-15-2012, 09:10 PM
i believe this is known as a butterface. i'd rather be 50lbs overweight, quite frankly. weight can be shed. you can't shed ugly. :(


Trueeeeee that!!! Can't fix a face, but I can lose weight.

meltaway
06-15-2012, 10:09 PM
I haven't read all the responses here, but my simple answer would be a resounding yes. For men. I know this from experience. I've always been told(even by women).. you're so pretty..if you just lost the weight.... so it's not only men. We live in a society where being thin is everything Sad as it is, but, there it is. I've never once met a man who would date the fat chic over the skinny chic. Never.

Durian
06-20-2012, 10:11 AM
I think that generally speaking most men would choose a plain (for lack of a better word) thin girl over a gorgeous overweight girl. Definitely not all men though...but in my experience, thin trumps pretty more often than not.
If I had to choose, I think I would rather be thin and healthy with an ordinary-ish face. I wouldn't want to be hideous or anything lol, but at this point in my life, I think that's what I would prefer. Makeup can do wonders for women!

Until it is removed.

Serval87
06-27-2012, 10:52 AM
Well, I'm lucky enough to have found a husband that is attracted to me for me, because I surely don't have a pretty face or skinny body! lol. I guess it helped that we met online and used the phone and internet to talk to each other over the length of nearly two years. We have a very deep relationship, and for some odd reason, he is actually, for real attracted to me. lol.

katkitten
06-27-2012, 06:49 PM
I think that most men would choose an ugly, thin woman over a beautiful,morbidly obese one. However, I think that if she was just 30 pounds overweight they might choose the pretty one.

However, if I had a choice between ugly and fat I would choose ugly. But then maybe that's because I have always been fat and pretty.

AriesNV
06-27-2012, 07:11 PM
Rugs and objects are oriental, people are not.

Asian describes anyone or anything from or related to any country in Asia (China, India, Vietnam, Philippines, Japan)

just sayin :D

Darn it, you got to that first! ;)

Took the words right out of my mouth.

AriesNV
06-27-2012, 07:20 PM
Two words: Marilyn Monroe.

It's pretty cliche' to use her as an example. But there's not enough propaganda and media influence in the world that would make me see someone skinnier than she was as beautiful.

Sometimes people's perception of "skinny" is just TOO skinny. There's so many things that come into play, you can't generalize any of it. My boyfriend weighs less than I do -- that's a freakin' NO NO and one of the reasons why I need to start shedding fast. I would imagine a man would prefer his woman to weight less than him, as well...however, I don't think he wants to screw someone and get bruises everywhere from her hip bone, collar bone, rib bone, etc. jutting out everywhere. Gross.

ValRock
06-27-2012, 07:24 PM
Two words: Marilyn Monroe.

It's pretty cliche' to use her as an example. But there's not enough propaganda and media influence in the world that would make me see someone skinnier than she was as beautiful.

Sometimes people's perception of "skinny" is just TOO skinny. There's so many things that come into play, you can't generalize any of it. My boyfriend weighs less than I do -- that's a freakin' NO NO and one of the reasons why I need to start shedding fast. I would imagine a man would prefer his woman to weight less than him, as well...however, I don't think he wants to screw someone and get bruises everywhere from her hip bone, collar bone, rib bone, etc. jutting out everywhere. Gross.

Marilyn Monroe WAS skinny.

Height: 5 feet, 5 inches
Weight: 118-140 pounds
Bust: 35-37 inches
Waist: 22-23 inches
Hips: 35-36 inches
Bra size: 36D

22" is a TINY TINY TINY waist. We just dress differently now than women did then. They dressed to accentuate their curves. Women now seem to want to hide them, as much as possible.

http://jezebel.com/5299793/for-the-last-time-what-size-was-marilyn-monroe

AriesNV
06-27-2012, 07:28 PM
She had a very tiny waist, or defined hour-glass shape, yes. Women back then practically forced a tiny waist by their extreme use of corsets.

Use this as a visual: this is what I'm referring to...
http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Marilyn-Monroe-Pictures-4.jpg

FitinTX
06-28-2012, 01:18 AM
I just want to comment that if two women wearing well-tailored clothes are standing next to each other, size becomes less of an issue. I think curvy women look much more attractive than very thin women in properly fitting clothes. Confidence, comportment, a great smile--these are all game-changers, too.

Another thought is that men look at women differently for different functions. My husband did not date a lot before we met, but when he did, it was with girls who were tall, thin, attractive, and the life of the party. But, those relationships ended and he married me--short, introspective, and healthy.