General chatter - Tricky sitch between friend/business/SO




fitness4life
04-14-2012, 12:41 PM
(not very) Short story: My board president ignored me during a very important point during a lunch meeting to get the salt. In the middle of my sentence, he asked the person next to him, who had to ask the person next to her, to pass the salt. 3 out of the 4 others were engaged in getting him salt rather than listen to my point which would reduce the meeting time by 20 minutes at least.

Then, in another meeting the same day, the board president asked a fricking stupid question that he should have came to the meeting prepared and already know the anwer to. During the other's address of the q, the former board pres and I whispered to one another getting other business that was assigned to us done. Current board pres yelled at me. This happened four times when former pres asked me Qs or was in between us, taking care of other business that the board assigned to us. The current pres NEVER said the other's name when yelling, just mine. He even said, "Fitness4life, if you continue to be rude and not pay attention, I don't see why you are here".

Later that same day, my CEO who was at the meeting, asked me if I was OK with the way the pres treated me. I'm not really OK with it, but I'm far, far far away from making an issue out of it. So i told CEO to drop it.

Next day, my SO said something to the Pres of the board, trying to make light of the situation without my knowledge, and pres got mad and stormed out.

EEeek! What would you do?

Long Story:

My SO and I have a friend much older than us. We have only been friends for 18 months. We love him and his wife. He's retired and because of our friendship, he joined the board of our business. SO and I are also at board meetings. This friend is the above named president of the board.

I know D (the friend) likes my SO much better than me. They have a lot in common. I have noticed that D treats me differently when SO isn't there. Then again, one thing I know about myself is that I can get upset about stuff that really isn't there. I've made it a point to improve that by letting things go more than I'm comfy with. It all works out fine.

I don't know if this is one of those times where I really should be upset or if it's just me feeling the sting more than I should.

My SO is so pissed. I told him if he wanted to say something to D, that it should be said that SO is pissed, not me, just to leave me out of it. SO will NOT tolerate the mistreatment of me. That's why I love him. One of the many reasons. So I'm not mad as SO.

But now I don't know what to do? Should I say something else to D? To CEO? So far, I told CEO that D was pissed but my plan was to just drop it. They're all men. Men tend to not hold grudges. I'm thinking but Monday, all will be totally fine.

No?


threenorns
04-14-2012, 12:43 PM
do not allow him to get away with such treatment.

if he's the head of the board, he has a much higher standard to uphold. if you let him get away with this now, you are setting a very dangerous precedent.

i would call a meeting including the CEO and your SO and let it be known to him that if such behaviour continues, he cannot continue to represent the company.

fitness4life
04-14-2012, 01:07 PM
Well, D and SO went turkey hunting this morning. D was quiet at first, then visibly upset. SO just listened.

D knows he mistreated me. He is regretful and supposedly going to call me later.

I feel horrible that he feels horrible. I'm thinking all is over and done and move on.

Well, D is thinking of resigning as pres.

Ugh.

I HATE to be connected to drama. Especially when it effects others. Especially when it effects others involved in my career.

We ALL think about quitting the business we are in. There are a lot of problems, but the same problems exist in all businesses.

I do think D is not a good pres, but there is no one else who'd step up right now. We are late in the beginning planning stages of our two major annual events. We all have too much on our plate. To lose D would put even more on our plates.

Now what would you do?

Three, I agee with your post, but could you revise it considering the most current status?


drake3272004
04-14-2012, 02:35 PM
Accept the apology, but be clear on your expectations on how you should be treated.

As for his resignation, see if something can be worked out to get you thru the major events.

fitness4life
04-16-2012, 09:05 AM
Drake, that's what I'm thinking, too. D hasn't called me yet. I'm worried because this mole hill is reaching mountain proportions and it's unnecessary. We are all friends first. We all want to maintain the friendships. There's nothing better than being whole heartedly involved in a mission on the same page with people who really love the mission and each other.

I don't want to ruin it.

astrophe
04-16-2012, 09:50 AM
You aren't ruining it. He's being a less than ideal pres. How is that your prob? It affects you, but it isn't like you are holding a gun to his head making him behave this badly at you!

If he resigns, let him go. That's his choice and nothing to do with you.

Even if you have major events and it means more work -- maybe you can actually get work DONE without having this person causing waves at work. It will be a heavier load til the projects are done. But perhaps this will be work that MOVES for once instead of constant stalls because of meeting time waste and so on.

GL!
A.

fitness4life
04-16-2012, 01:24 PM
Great point, astrophe. Thanks.