General chatter - Do I have a right to be upset or am I over reacting?




baker23
04-13-2012, 02:24 AM
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Candeka
04-13-2012, 02:34 AM
As someone who has been in the same situation as you, I would say you probably need to step back and bit. Some of my closest friends are people who are online and I know what it feels like when they stop signing on and their real lives start to pick up, making you feel left behind.

Its good that his IRL social life is picking up. Maybe just send him a message telling him that you miss him and you'd love it if you guys could set a scheduled time in the next few days to have a nice long chat. Just like you would set a hang out time with IRL people. The fact that he took some time out of his now busier life to wish you a happy birthday shows that he still does care about you!

sunshauna
04-13-2012, 04:02 AM
There's a saying to the effect of, "If you have to ask, you already know the answer." I hope all works out for you, but he won't be the first guy to back off before actually meeting in person. Something is up that he's suddenly too busy right before you go visit him. Your feelings are valid....time for a heart to heart talk. Go with your feelings....if you think something is wrong, then it probably is.


Candeka
04-13-2012, 04:10 AM
There's a saying to the effect of, "If you have to ask, you already know the answer." I hope all works out for you, but he won't be the first guy to back off before actually meeting in person. Something is up that he's suddenly too busy right before you go visit him. Your feelings are valid....time for a heart to heart talk. Go with your feelings....if you think something is wrong, then it probably is.

I dont know if I could agree with that. I met my husband online and we talked for roughly 3-4 years prior to meeting. About 2 months before I went to visit him for the first time (I live in Canada, he lived in California), we both got super busy. I didn't feel it was a problem that we were talking less since in just 2 months, i'd be staying with him for over 3 months and he'd have my full attention since I was in another country and knew NO ONE else! I also can go weeks without talking to some of my closest friends, just because we are that close! We don't need constant communication. If I went weeks/months without talking to friends I am not as close with, the friendship might fizzle off.

philana
04-13-2012, 04:31 AM
I completely understand where you are coming from, but I agree with Candeke, you should probably just back off a bit and try to schedule in time to talk. The hardest part about maintaining a relationship through online means is that you can't see the person and what their life is like for real when they don't sign on. So it's very easy to start thinking all this stuff when you also don't get face-to-face time. You are gonna meet up with him, and he'd not have agreed with that if he wanted to back out of the friendship! So it is probably just real life for sure.

I am the type of person that is always online either on my macbook or on my phone. So it was hard for me to understand how you could not have time to log on and talk. And I would take it very personally. But in the end, it probably wasn't. Some people are like that others forget about 'the internet' for days at a time. You can't get me to forget for longer than 30minutes ;).

Goodluck!