General chatter - Dealing with friends complaining about needing to lose weight yet never doing anythin




Candeka
04-12-2012, 11:09 PM
I know you can't force people to change, and that the must truly want to change themselves in order for it to work. However, it is very annoying and difficult to constantly hear my closer friends and mother ALWAYS complain about needing to lose weight, how they want to eat better.... yet never doing anything about it. Week after week, I always have to listen to "O, you should help me come with a "diet" since I really want to lose weight and you know lots about that" or "O, I really need to go to the gym more, lets go together this week", and then I get cancelled on.

This honestly comes from 3 good friends and my mother ALL the time. I am the only one actively doing it, yet I never mention my "needing to lose weight" to any of them! I suggested we do a points challenge as a group since all of them want to lose weight. You know, if you go to the gym on your planned day you get X amount of points, and if you eat healthy that day you get a certain amount of points. Then at the end of the challenge whoever has the most points win. .... Every single one of them said "O thats to much work, I wouldn't stick to it" or said that its "stupid to plan what days to work out and stupid to plan what you are going to eat ahead of time". We can't do a pound-lost challenge since I am at a healthy weight now and am focused on strength training (just bought that New Rules of Weight Lifting For Woman" that every here raves about!!)

Two of the friends live about 30ish minutes away where as the other lives 11 hours away. I always get "O I wished you lived closer so we could be gym buddies", yet none of them actively work out by themselves to begin with. Last year when I lived right next to one of my friends, I'd always invite her to every work out, and she'd always be up for it until the day of the workout and then she would bail.

Anyways, to sum it up... How do deal with having to listen to it almost EVERYDAY from the closest people in my life? I don't talk to them about eating better, I don't preach about exercise. In fact, I rarely bring it up, yet they always seem to bring it up with me yet forget about it 5 minutes later about this "new healthy lifestyle" that they want to embark on with me. I try and be supportive and when they ask, I give them advice... but I am getting sick of it falling of deaf ears, and them repeating the same things yet never changing anything


Sakai
04-12-2012, 11:26 PM
I used to get this all the time. Not so much now that most of my friends have slowly drifted away. They, like most everyone, want to be more healthy, but are not yet ready to commit. (they may not even know they are not ready) But just like all of us here, we're not reall ready until we commit.

But is sucks to have to listen to them every dang day. If they commit would you sit and talk with them? Like..."Hey I'm off such and such day, if you want, we could talk about this more at my house/ other location and find a plan for you? just let me know."

My friends knew what day I was off, that I would be home most of that time and they all had my phone number if they suddenly wanted to come over to make sure i was home/had no plans...but none of them ever took me up on the offer and everytime one of them brought up their wanting to lose weight or be healthy I always answered "Well you know you can come over whenever your ready." that normally cuts the conversation really short. None were really ready to commit to activly getting up and going somewhere to listen about how they could change.

But I think the best thing you can do is to try and block it out a little. They see you getting better and stronger and becoming the pseron they want to be. You are the best billboard to them saying, "I commited to my lifestyle and it works." while their lifestyle is obviously not working for them. they have to make that connection before the will really listen.

Candeka
04-12-2012, 11:30 PM
I have invited them to work out, I've told them to send me lists of foods they like and I would help make a diet plan for them (when they've asked me to, I've never commented on their diet without being asked to). In fact, one of them actually did sit down with me and talk about her eating habits and I did make a food list to follow... what a waste of time that was. She looked at it for 3 days and then went back to her old ways.

It's hard to keep saying "Sure, I'll work out with you, lets go hiking this weekend".. or "Sure, I'll help you with that!", when I know they are either going to bail or give up after a week. But at the same time, I don't want to be rude and be like "Hey, you've asked me like 6 times and each time you've bailed, stop wasting my time!".. Its just hard to listen to someone complain about the same thing over and over and over again yet never do anything to change it. Blah.


gardend1va
04-12-2012, 11:35 PM
They see your success and want that for themselves but aren't at the point yet that they are willing to work for it. It must be very frustrating for you. Until they show a bit more initiative, I sure wouldn't rearrange my schedule to make gym plans with them.

I see this exact same thing go on in other areas. I am a knitter and have worked hard to teach myself to knit, and spend many hours working on a project. People see my lace scarves and baby knits and want me to make things for them, but when I offer to teach them how to knit so they can make their own, the offer falls on deaf ears.

The people around you aren't motivated enough yet to make a lifestyle change and commit to it. They want to take the lazy way out and somehow get you to do it for them, which of course is impossible and ridiculous. Until they show signs of really being serious about it, I would not spend a lot of time trying to accommodate them. That sounds a bit harsh, but it is important that you insulate yourself a bit from people who will drain you of energy without you getting anything back in return.

LockItUp
04-12-2012, 11:56 PM
I have many friends like this too, not all overweight, but always wanted to workout, or change their diets. When it comes down to it, they aren't ready or willing to make changes yet. It does annoy me when I've made plans and they cancel (always last minute, or I see a fb status talking about how sick they are so I know it's coming). I definitely relate to what you're saying!

mariposssa
04-13-2012, 12:14 AM
I have friends and family like this and it isn't just with weight loss. People are always looking for the quick fix. The way to get the results without putting in the time and effort. They see something you got and they want it. Could be getting organized, getting happy, getting fit, saving money and it may seem silly but I have even seen it with arts and crafts. I put in a lot of hours say knitting a blanket. All of a sudden everybody wants one. Suggest getting together and teaching them. They don't have time to be bothered with learning the skills or doing the work. Since you've already figured it out; you should "help" them by doing it for them.

TiffNeedsChange
04-13-2012, 12:35 AM
My mom and brother are the same way.. they teeter between recognizing they need to change and denial. It upsets me because they constantly eat like crap and try to get me to eat with them, I just try to make the best choices possible but it is challenging because we live together. Next time they mention needing to lose weight I would ask what they are going to try to change to make it happen... that might shut them up or help them think more concretely. Either way it has taken me a long time of "I need to lose weight" before I felt ready and knew what I needed to do BUT I never had someone willing to help me so they don't know what they're missing out on! You're being a good friend by making yourself available.

threenorns
04-13-2012, 12:53 AM
yep - my two sisters and my mother.

my mother *insists* she hardly eats anything at all - "i practically starve myself!" yet she's up to 190 at 5'4". my sister told me to ask how many haagen-daasz ice cream bar boxes were in the garbage (i'm talking the multipack - 4 to a box) and mom comes back with "oh, don't tell me you don't treat yourself once in a while".

i'm like "MOM!!!! those *treats* are 350cal apiece and you ate the whole box in one day! i get 750 calories to eat a day and *that is it* - no more! if i had one of those for breakfast, i wouldn't be able to eat anything until dinner!"

well, that was just the stupidest thing she's ever heard and besides, she's tried that and it didn't work.

mariposssa
04-13-2012, 01:15 AM
I see this exact same thing go on in other areas. I am a knitter and have worked hard to teach myself to knit, and spend many hours working on a project. People see my lace scarves and baby knits and want me to make things for them, but when I offer to teach them how to knit so they can make their own, the offer falls on deaf ears.
.

I am literally LOL. I must have missed your response earlier and used the same example. This one actually happened to me today when an aunt hinted pretty aggressively about how she would love to have a shawl like the one I had made my mom for Christmas. LOL I didn't know knitters were in such high demand when I learned how. :dizzy:

Amy23
04-13-2012, 01:17 AM
I know what you mean. I was probably one of those people once, actually.

It took me until I reached 307 pounds before I was truly "ready" to stop talking and start doing. Everyone has their own breaking point; mine was just a lot higher than most.

I always wanted to lose weight. I talked about it and thought about it all the time. But I didn't want to quit the things that I was doing enough to make a change. I was in denial. Perhaps your mother and your friends are, too?

It was only when I started looking and feeling truly awful, and seeing that number on the scale, that I was finally ready to "quit" my fat life. Maybe your mom and friends have yet to hit their breaking point.

Candeka
04-13-2012, 01:31 AM
I know what you mean. I was probably one of those people once, actually.

It took me until I reached 307 pounds before I was truly "ready" to stop talking and start doing. Everyone has their own breaking point; mine was just a lot higher than most.

I always wanted to lose weight. I talked about it and thought about it all the time. But I didn't want to quit the things that I was doing enough to make a change. I was in denial. Perhaps your mother and your friends are, too?

It was only when I started looking and feeling truly awful, and seeing that number on the scale, that I was finally ready to "quit" my fat life. Maybe your mom and friends have yet to hit their breaking point.

O, I was one of those people once before. If anyone of my friends lost weight, I'd be the first one to ask "How did you do it?" hoping they would tell me about some magic pill. When they would tell me it was through diet and exercise, I would listen but never actually go through with it. I was always "on a diet" or "trying to lose weight" but never actually did anything. So I understand where they are coming from, but after months of it, it starts to become very frustrating lol

kaplods
04-13-2012, 01:36 AM
People complain about all sorts of things in their lives (either the things they have or the things they wish they had (like their weight, health, jobs, bosses, friends, family, pets, education, hobbies, habits, houses, boats, electronics....) and all aspects of their life and yet never do anything about it.


What do people really want when they complain about the life they have and the life they wish they did?

Usually, they want someone to listen, and that's it. When they're ready to work for what they want in life, they'll do it. Everything else they will complain about until they're ready to change it (and some may never be).

... but until then, they'll complain or talk about it.

And supportive friends and family will listen and mumble vague encouragements (you can do it....), and try not to roll their eyes or say sarcastic stuff like "what's stopping you?" or "will you just shut up about it already...").

Candeka
04-13-2012, 01:41 AM
People complain about all sorts of things in their lives (either the things they have or the things they wish they had (like their weight, health, jobs, bosses, friends, family, pets, education, hobbies, habits, houses, boats, electronics....) and all aspects of their life and yet never do anything about it.


What do people really want when they complain about the life they have and the life they wish they did?

Usually, they want someone to listen, and that's it. When they're ready to work for what they want in life, they'll do it. Everything else they will complain about until they're ready to change it (and some may never be).

... but until then, they'll complain or talk about it.

And supportive friends and family will listen and mumble vague encouragements (you can do it....), and try not to roll their eyes or say sarcastic stuff like "what's stopping you?" or "will you just shut up about it already...").

I listen to them all the time. I understand where they are coming from as I have been there. I try and support them in every way possible by answering their questions, accepting their offers to be work out buddies, and tell them what has worked for me when asked. But eventually when they keep bailing on your planned work outs, ignoring everything you say and yet asking the same questions 4 days later that you had just answered, it starts to become tiresome. I would love nothing more than to be work out buddies and I am honored that they come to me for advice, yet it seems like they expect me to somehow do all the work for them or have a different answer than I did last week when they asked.

Amy23
04-13-2012, 01:47 AM
I understand where they are coming from, but after months of it, it starts to become very frustrating lol

I can just imagine! They'll come around in their own time. Politely listen when they start jabbering on about it, but focus most on yourself. You're already setting an inspiring example.

mariposssa
04-13-2012, 01:48 AM
LOL, well you know you are holding out on them. Why is it that you won't tell them the truth, show them the way and lead them to the light. You know that secret path, the one with all the short cuts. The pill, the potion, the person with all the answers. One thing I remember Oprah saying that has stuck with me for years...if there was a pill, a shortcut, another way...she would have already paid the man and told us all about it.

Candeka
04-13-2012, 01:51 AM
LOL, well you know you are holding out on them. Why is it that you won't tell them the truth, show them the way and lead them to the light. You know that secret path, the one with all the short cuts. The pill, the potion, the person with all the answers. One thing I remember Oprah saying that has stuck with me for years...if there was a pill, a shortcut, another way...she would have already paid the man and told us all about it.

Psh, no way am I sharing my secret magic juice that just swoooshed the pounds off while I shoved my face full of icecream and watched Game of Thrones over and over again. Hahaha.

mariposssa
04-13-2012, 01:57 AM
Share the flippin juice, dagnammit!! Do you know how long it's been since I've had ice cream?! Or even juice, for that matter. Sheesh.

Candeka
04-13-2012, 02:09 AM
Share the flippin juice, dagnammit!! Do you know how long it's been since I've had ice cream?! Or even juice, for that matter. Sheesh.

Haha. Okay, but I will only share my magic weight loss juice if you buy me a unicorn. Deal?

mariposssa
04-13-2012, 02:20 AM
DEAL. I've got a unicorn. Actually, my daughter does...it is a really cute one, too. My Little Ponies, Friendship is Magic style. You know that silly little girl show that has the strangest ever, teen cult following? Bronies. WTheck is that all about, anyway? Does anybody get it? I have two teenagers and I fear this cult--branded with Cutie Mark tattoos; may show up on our doorstep seeking my teenagers at any given moment. I had to buy Happy Meals for my teenagers so they could get little ponies and unicorns??!! :mcd:

erh12275
04-13-2012, 02:37 AM
The ones that get me are the ones that I will tell..I lost 20lbs...and they say I wish I could do that. If I could "wish" it away I wouldn't be fat...but unfortunately I can't so I work my butt off at the gym and eat 1200 cals a day. :dizzy:

alaskanlaughter
04-13-2012, 03:01 AM
ive had so many ppl bail on being workout buddies :( and sadly im not even asking for someone to work out HARD, just go for a freaking walk LOL...i had one friend years ago who would call at the last minute and bail on our walk because "it was raining"...hello, we Live In A Rainforest!! it's gonna rain lol

i havent found a single person in real life who is interested in exercise, fitness, nutrition, health, anything at all :( sucksss

Candeka
04-13-2012, 03:04 AM
ive had so many ppl bail on being workout buddies :( and sadly im not even asking for someone to work out HARD, just go for a freaking walk LOL...i had one friend years ago who would call at the last minute and bail on our walk because "it was raining"...hello, we Live In A Rainforest!! it's gonna rain lol

i havent found a single person in real life who is interested in exercise, fitness, nutrition, health, anything at all :( sucksss

I hear you. I've had several people in my lives who wanted to be work out buddies, but all of them lasted less than a month or ALWAYS bailed. As much as I like having someone to work out with, I can do it on my own just fine. But at the end of the days its like "Stop asking me to be your work out buddy if you are just going to leave me high and dry!".... The worst is when you plan around THEIR schedule and it inconveniences you... but then they bail.

K9Owner
04-13-2012, 03:39 AM
I found the most wonderful words to say, especially to my mom & it KILLS her-especially when we go out to eat, & I order :lol:

"I'm NOT on a diet! I'm NEVER on a diet!"

It literally shuts her right up!

Last weekend, we went out for breakfast and I ordered my usual scrambled eggs: 3 whites/1 yolk. The waitress looked at me like I had 3 heads, and my mother politely barged in on my order and stated, "She's dieting. She tries to make everything difficult."
I returned her politeness by saying, "No I'm not. I just don't like them so yellow." {That was partially true}
The waitress got the order right, while my mom scarfed down a highly-processed carb waffle!

I also use the "You eat what you like and let me eat what I like" quote very often.

I stopped offering advice a long time ago. Deaf ears suck the life out of me.

izzycracker
04-13-2012, 04:42 AM
Yes, my best friend and my boyfriend are like this. It is so annoying anymore. My boyfriend will be on a diet for like two days and stop after it gets hard. You know like not eating junk and working out.

melodymist
04-13-2012, 04:57 AM
I know alot of these people. Complain they're fat and then go eat McDonalds.

Sigh. Famous lines:

- "Ill start on Monday"
- "My bodyframe is big so I'll never be a normal weight"
- "I think something is wrong with my thyroid" - Yes, I know some people really have problems with this but some just use it as a excuse.
- "I don't have the time to work out" - Yet, they sleep the whole day or watch tv for several hours.
- "I don't like salad" - This isn't the only food fit people eat.
- "I'm sooooo fat" - Like REALLY, what should I say? When I say "No, you're not fat" they complain and say "You're only saying that to make me feel better, I know you're lying". But let me dare say "Yes you are a little bit overweight" they freak.
- "I'll have the meal, with a super size soda" -

I give up.

philana
04-13-2012, 05:24 AM
I know alot of these people. Complain they're fat and then go eat McDonalds.


I always have to laugh when I see people order a lot of fastfood and then go for a diet soda. I'm sure there are people that like the taste of diet better than the real thing, but ot that many people!

As for the issue at hand:
Even though it is frustrating, I think you have to stay supportive. Weightloss is such a touchy subject and it's so connected to how people view themselves. Do they have confidence they can change? Do they understand how it works? Do they have any self esteem? What do they want out of life? - All these questions come up when you think about drastically changing what you are doing. You wouldn't want to put them off by giving them the feeling they are 'less capable' just because they still struggle with taking the first actual step. They know they are not pulling through. They know they should but they remain inactive. It's really a tough personal battle each of us has had to fight. For some it's easier than for others.

I am not saying that you are responsible for them feeling good about themselves, but I think if you want what's best for them in the long haul you might just have to stay friendly and supportive even though you know they are not ready yet. Because the moment they are ready and notice you don't believe it, they might start doubting again and it will take another bunch of months/years before they reach that point. You are doing so well, you are their example and also their constant mirror. Everytime they see you they see their own lack of change. And they promise themselves to do better and they make plans with you. But once they leave and are alone again all the energy can just like that disappear in blur of negative or 'lazy' thinking.

Time, patience and support. And obviously you can come here and be super annoyed and we will then support you by saying we understand how annoying it is! Hihih

I hope one of them will eventually take that step so you will feel like you got something good out of your constant support. It will happen, I'm sure!

melodymist
04-13-2012, 05:48 AM
Time, patience and support. And obviously you can come here and be super annoyed and we will then support you by saying we understand how annoying it is! Hihih


Thank goodness for 3FC :hug: :D

Elliemar
04-13-2012, 05:57 AM
Ahhh I have these friends too. One goes to the gym "to work off all the extra calories I ate this week" and then goes out for a monster high calorie meal with some icky dessert "because I've earnt it going to the gym". And then goes out drinking and munches chocolate and junk on Sunday to ease the hangover. Another one just eats utter junk and gets zero exercise and wonders how I have managed to lose weight.

The thing is, I used to be that person once. As someone already mentioned, I think you just need to reach that particular breaking point before you do something about it. Some people never do. I also remember how depressed it made me so I'm doing my best to be supportive and encouraging especially as two of my friends got inspired by my efforts and ARE actively losing weight. It's hard as there are times I just want to snap at them, but that won't make them feel any better so I count to ten and tell them I'm there to help when they're ready. So far, anyway. :)

melodymist
04-13-2012, 06:35 AM
"because I've earnt it going to the gym".

Alot of people do this. You can't out excercise bad eating habits.:dizzy:

sontaikle
04-13-2012, 07:51 AM
I know it's frustrating because I'm in your place. At this point I can't deny I've lost weight (which I did in the beginning) and the questions and comments role in. I don't mind telling everyone exactly what I do, but the problem lies in the fact that people either don't believe me or say it's too hard.

There's a reason why I did this whole thing alone (well I had 3FC :) for about half of it). If I were still waiting for a workout buddy or a partner to help me stay accountable, I would not be where I am today. People who are constantly running to others and begging for their secrets and asking them to "train" them in the gym without having that drive just aren't ready.

Everyone here knows that the hardest part is actually starting and I'm sure we all had some switch that flipped that got us to start losing weight. I think someone really needs to be ready and unfortunately for some they're just never ready.

LOL, well you know you are holding out on them. Why is it that you won't tell them the truth, show them the way and lead them to the light. You know that secret path, the one with all the short cuts. The pill, the potion, the person with all the answers. One thing I remember Oprah saying that has stuck with me for years...if there was a pill, a shortcut, another way...she would have already paid the man and told us all about it.

SHHHH don't let them hear about the magic stuff!!

ugh there are women at the gym who corner me and then get pissed when I say "really, all I did was watch what I eat and exercise. You all see the heavy weights I lift too."

Then they say I'm lying and that they'll get bulky if they lift weights.

strawleyl
04-13-2012, 09:01 AM
Im ready all these replies and I think once.before i told was one of those friends. I have a friens who was a size 14 and is now.hit her goal of a size 5 ......throughtout her struggles with working out and eating healthy I always complainrd.about my weight wantig to piss it n get into.things ive never worn before but like these ladies have said was not fully commuted to thw whole process. I have come to know that if your not doing this for you and arent commited to doing all that it takes to actually do the work .your not going to follow through because its a lot of work its kind of a full time job pretty nuch watching what you eat planning your .meals making sure you.excercise right. And now i find myself on the other side havig friends see changes and how dedicated I am now and complaining about thwir weoght saykng oooo how they cnt Jst eat a little bit and excercise.for.hrs or at all..I Jst say mind over matter when u really want something bad for .uraelf you will do anything to get the ball rolling and make sure it happens. If ur dedicated to a goal you will make sure it happens! :)

VermontMom
04-13-2012, 09:43 AM
Candeka, you have already tried to help them, and you have been polite and not rude..maybe it IS time to simply say what you want...'I would love to help, but you keep bailing on me' in a friendly way. Or maybe they need to be bluntly told.

...and my mother politely barged in on my order and stated, "She's dieting. She tries to make everything difficult."


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

gardend1va
04-13-2012, 11:01 AM
I am literally LOL. I must have missed your response earlier and used the same example. This one actually happened to me today when an aunt hinted pretty aggressively about how she would love to have a shawl like the one I had made my mom for Christmas. LOL I didn't know knitters were in such high demand when I learned how. :dizzy:

LOL not to hijack this thread, but I found that to be so funny. People are the same all over, whether it is with weight loss or knitting, they want what you've got but don't want to work for it.

Beach Patrol
04-13-2012, 11:17 AM
Tell'm to "put up or shut up" :lol:

OR, you could be polite & say something along the lines of - "Ya know, when you ask for help, I give you advice... but you never DO anything with the advice I give you in either diet or exercise - so maybe you are not truly ready to do anything about your weight. Let me know when you ARE ready - I'm happy to help! Until then... let's talk about something else."

:D

Misa66
04-13-2012, 01:14 PM
OMGoodness, this sounds like all the ladies in my work. Honestly talking, almost everyone in my department is overweight, about 80% of us are female. Year after year I just see everyone (including myself) getting bigger and I was tired of that. I didn't want to get bigger, so now that they see me losing weight they say how lucky I am and it's because I don't have kids or am "young". **** no! I've been working my butt off and it's been hard and they just think its so easy. And when I offer to let's help each other out they say "it's too much work" of course it is!

free1
04-13-2012, 01:25 PM
What about..."just let me know when you're ready, we can do this together." Put the ball back in their court....They will answer and come when they're truly ready!

pixelllate
04-13-2012, 01:28 PM
I know people who say stuff like "oh I never think about weight" and maybe its not so imp that they think about it enough to do something about it, but at the same time they call themselves fat or complaina bout how they look in clothes-I think its cause deep in thier mind they don't like their weight, but all they want is that quick ressurance "no you aren't FAT" Thats how I was up uuntil high school. For some reason it wasn't until college that I thought "why not just lose the friggin weight?" lol

banananutmuffin
04-13-2012, 02:30 PM
Well, I have the opposite problem. I have quite a few close friends/family who are seriously damaging their health with their weight problems in obvious ways: knee problems, diabetes, heart disease, etc. Aside from a "What type of diet do you follow?" question, no one has ever asked me seriously about health, fitness, nutrition, etc. They simply do not care enough to make what would be a drastic change to their lifestyle.

And you know what? That's fine. It's their life. Their health. And they can live it as they choose. Fortunately, unlike you, I don't have to deal with incessant questions about weight loss.

BUT... I wish I did. I love these people so much that I wish they would express an interest in getting healthy, even if it meant badgering me constantly with questions.

I think the "How did you lose weight?" and "Let's go to the gym" are the first steps to recognizing a change needs to be made. Going further and committing to that change in a process, one that can take a long time if it ever happens at all. I know you're frustrated and that's understandable, but maybe there's hope since these people are at least *thinking* about a change.

BuddysBuddy
04-13-2012, 03:53 PM
I've been thinking about this and hope that it doesn't sound passive agressive. I don't *think* it does.

Why don't you write down your eating plan for a week and add you workout schedule. Then print it out and whenever they ask just give them the sheet of paper and say you're welcome to join me. I know when my SIL kept asking me what I did, I just printed out my food log and gave it to her. I really never heard from her again on the subject.

K9Owner
04-16-2012, 04:32 PM
I've been thinking about this and hope that it doesn't sound passive agressive. I don't *think* it does.

Why don't you write down your eating plan for a week and add you workout schedule. Then print it out and whenever they ask just give them the sheet of paper and say you're welcome to join me. I know when my SIL kept asking me what I did, I just printed out my food log and gave it to her. I really never heard from her again on the subject.

This is actually a pretty good idea!!

MiZTaCCen
04-17-2012, 10:18 AM
Just be honest and tell them to "stfu and fix it", or just "stfu and stop complaining about it". Harsh but it's true.

I once dated a guy who complained about everything! I mean he wanted to move, he wanted this and that and it's like simple solutions. MOVE, go do this and that. It's not like it's life threatening he wasn't capable, but then he'd get mad at me and say. "You're not listening, it's not that easy, I work with the guy so I can't just move" and I'd laugh at him and say, "Stop making up damn excuses it is that easy, he'd get over it."

I'm apparently not very sympathetic and not a good listener...:rofl: and he's right I stop listening about after the third time you're expressing your easy solution simple problems you can fix. :frypan:

I know that had nothing to do with weight loss but it's pretty much the same thing. A problem is a problem, there is a solution...fix it or shut up. :gossip::stars:

Mysticaldreamzz
04-17-2012, 12:22 PM
I have a friend who's the same way. She wants to lose weight but told me she isn't willing to change the way she's eating because she doesn't want to feel like she's "starving" all the time.

Precious Little
04-18-2012, 06:57 AM
I agree with sontaikle. I'd just say to them "wishing" ain't gonna make it happen. KNOWING what has to be done is easy, the hardest part is actually DOING it.

It's so basic that many people miss the point.

I believe learning and practising the strategies to bring it into reality is what healthy lifestyle/fitness/losing weight/maintaining/whatever is all about.

If your buddies are only interested in making excuses, they're not ready to get started.

MusicalAstronaut
04-18-2012, 04:30 PM
I have people like this in my life too. The most upsetting is my dad. He's probably close to 300 lbs (he's over 6 feet tall) and is always saying how he needs to lose weight. He tells me I'm doing great and stuff, but then he'll say something like "I wish I could do that. I'm too old and fat to do it though". Hey, maybe if you stopped drinking beer that'd help a ton. Or don't have a bunch of sausage, bacon & eggs for breakfast. Yeah, Subway isn't the best tasting thing out there, but suck it up if you want to lose weight!

Absolutely the most upsetting part of it is that my parents are constantly watching what I eat or do and are ALWAYS commenting on it. They're both morbidly obese but the other day my mom says to me "So, I haven't seen you go running lately". Like she's the fricking diet police and criticizing me is going to make her lose weight. For the record, I can only go running when she's not home because she doesn't let me go. I'm doing housework all day long. And I was having a really bad day on Monday (some of you might remember - ex lied excessively/used me/is trying to control me still after dumping me and a friend helped me realize it) so I had toaster waffles for breakfast. I hadn't slept at all the night before because I was so miserable. And what does my dad say when he sees me? "THAT'S not in your diet, is it? What are you doing??". I just dropped the fork and cried.

Why do people want me to give them a magic cure one second and insult everything I do the next? It makes me want to say that toaster waffles IS my diet and highly recommend it to them. :P

MARLA26
04-18-2012, 06:38 PM
My friends complain that they need to lose weight also.

So I write down websites where they can join and post their diets...count calories.

One is posting on LoseIt.com and is losing..YAY!!

One has eliminated desserts from her diet. That's a start.

That is 2 people I was able to influence. Just 2.

One complains she gained weight because she "has to" drink coke and pepsi with every meal...and a lot of it.
She won't cut it down to just 8 ounces a day like I suggested.
And she fries all her food. I told her to boil and steam most of it. But she won't.
So she is unwilling to make the changes she knows she must.
She will probably go on complaining the rest of her life.

I think most of us here are dealing with chronic complainers. They are not willing to make the sacrifices to lose the weight.

It is frustrating to those of us here who are losing weight, to listen to these people who know they must diet, but yet refuse to.
:(

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
~ Mark Twain ~