General chatter - Teenagers are vile creatures, makes me want to drink a bottle of vino!
04-12-2012, 10:59 AM
My teenager is sucking this week, sucking the energy and happiness right out of me. Rude, crude, disrepectful, self loathing, mean, nasty and hurtful.
I have to suck it up and respond to her nasty antics in a diplomatic, reasonable, mature way.
Well dear teenager, you've got six months until you turn 18 and if you call me the B word one more time I will take all your crap I bought you and throw it out along with you!
Makes me want to hide out and drink a bottle of vino or at least inhale the fumes!
04-12-2012, 11:13 AM
One day she will be thirty years old and suffer deep remorse for the way she treated you. Just make sure that you remind her about it at regular intervals so she does not forget.
04-12-2012, 11:17 AM
This is day 5 of ****. She snuck out on Easter night (of all nights) and got drunk at a college party (she goes to running start). All week she's been so cruel with her words and today it took me two hours to get her to get off my 2,000 dollar sofa and go to her math class at her regular highschool - during that time I was threatened multiple times and she threw things and almost broke one of our inside house doors. I've been strong all week but the tears are swelling up, the stress and negativity is taking its toll on me and I really need to stay centered.
This can be so hard, stress is my trigger for over eating.
Sorry to read that your having a rough time. I don't really have any advice, other than try to take care of yourself. Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Take a walk, talk to a friend.
Maybe take away some privileges. I'm sure there are books about how to handle this behavior.
Sending cyber hugs :hug:
04-12-2012, 12:09 PM
((hugs)) i would reach out to community resources to deal with her physically violent behavior and verbally abusive words....no parent should have to just sit there and take it...responding in an adult way would include asking community agencies for help with her behavior...otherwise when she does grow older and move out, her behavior like that towards others will land her in jail
04-12-2012, 12:13 PM
We have reached out many times to cool the flames. This is not our first time at the rodeo with her. The agencies do help stabalize the situation. We also have her attend therapy weekly for her depression.
04-12-2012, 12:21 PM
I am the Mom of a 24 y.o. daughter. I would never allow my daughter to call me the B word. Not acceptable. Does your daughter have a cell phone with texting? I would text her a message that you are very hurt that she would call you the B word, it is not acceptable. I discovered that texting works better than trying to talk, because talk turns into yelling. When my dd was rude, I actually told her that unless she starts doing what she is supposed to do, I am not giving her a cent for any of her expenses. That made her shape up real fast.:D
04-13-2012, 05:22 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through this! Do you think there's any way she's involed in drugs on top of the alcohol? The only reason I ask is because my sister was the EXACT same way to my mom when she was in high school and she was a heavy drinker and on meth as well. I sure hope that it gets better soon!!!
04-13-2012, 05:31 PM
Wow. I am so sorry, Mama. ((hugs)) That's no way for a person to be treated.
04-13-2012, 06:50 PM
I'm so sorry that you have problems with your daughter. Most teenagers are difficult to handle, it's rough for them too, still that's no reason for her to treat you in such a rude manner. It's simply not acceptable. You need to keep your calm because yelling does not solve anything, still you have to make her understand you are her parent and such behavior is not tolerable. She will probably come out of this phase on her own, but until them you shouldn't accept such verbal abuse from her part.
Does your daughter have a cell phone with texting? I would text her a message that you are very hurt that she would call you the B word, it is not acceptable.
I don't know if she has one or not, but man if she called me names and acted like that she wouldn't even SEE her cellphone for probably a month.
04-14-2012, 01:35 AM
Isn't the saying about teens something like, "Move out now and conquer the world while you still know everything." Agreed....teens are challenging. (Understatement). Thankful for cell phones tho.....all I do is threaten to cancel it and he shapes right up. Hang in there.
04-14-2012, 03:40 AM
I'm sorry you are going through this, it sounds like a very challenging time for you AND your daughter. Growing up is hard, but you shouldn't have to take abuse from anyone.
04-14-2012, 12:07 PM
I'm a mom of a 15 yr. old girl. She isn't abusive like yours, but she is silent. When she does talk to me, it's in such a quiet tone, I can't even understand what she's saying. My idea of what my relationship would be like with my daughter is NOT happening and it totally makes me sad. Like you.
All I can do is tell myself that I was a pain to my mother for 6 years and I came back to her right after college. I came back even more when my marriage started to crumble.
We are very close now.
All I can say is for the both of us moms with challenging teens, hold faith that things will change. Don't burn any bridges. Keep being a mom and not a friend.
You can get through this. Try to find another vice besides eating. If you're on a weight loss journey, the eating will result in self-loathing and excaserbate the sitch. I think I just spelled wrong. Anyway, I found exercise not only got me time to think and process the situation, I found the natural endorphines to be releaving. After I was done, I had pride that I did something good for myself in a very healthy way.
Try it! Start with a long, brisk walk.