General chatter - So, been on any dates lately???
04-11-2012, 02:36 PM
OK, for all you single people, I'm a big girl (size 14). I'm always wondering about other peoples dating lives. Has the dating scene changed for some of you that have lost weight or are you still the same? Were you also attracting people when you were bigger? I've always been sooo shy, I've always wondered if that would change when I got to my goal weight....What's the dating scene like for you guys right now?
04-11-2012, 02:48 PM
I've been in a relationship for over a year now, but was dating (at a size 14) before him. I had a couple on line dating profiles and met a couple cool guys that I hung out with. I'm also generally shy, but have gotten over MOST of it with age. That said, I did meet most of my dates on line. I met my current BF through his sister (I work with her).
Ultimately, it's all about your confidence level! Love yourself, make your personality shine and people will want to be around you (men and women alike) no matter what your size/weight.
04-11-2012, 02:54 PM
I tend to meet guys online for right now because I haven't been able to be around a lot of guys in person, but since rejoining one of my favorite dating websites, I've found that not only have I been getting more messages, but messages from a better class of men. I get more of the guys that are actually interested in me and not just trying to get in my pants, when before that was just about all I got. I think a lot of guys see bigger girls as an easy target, and therefore won't try to pursue romantic relationships but will try to pursue sexual relationships because they see bigger girls as being desperate. Granted, I'm still a big girl, but when I first got into online dating, I was about 60lbs heavier and it showed in my pictures. I think guys find it more attractive to see a bigger girl actively trying to do something about their weight because it shows you actually do give a crap about yourself.
I'm single as of right now, but I've been talking to this guy lately who seems pretty amazing and I really hope to go on a date with him soon. He's really smart and attractive and is actually interested in what I have to say when I talk, and actually provides a decent conversation in return, which is really hard to find in a lot of guys. I have to say I'm pretty excited about him. :)
04-11-2012, 03:21 PM
@mammasita: oh no girl, I'm the life of the party. Just when it comes to dating and getting out there i'm a little shy. But I will admit, I'm not the most secure in myself. I tend to use fashion as a way to gratify myself in the way I look.
@mimsy: Oh wow, that sounds cool, I was talking to a guy who I thought was so cute, and then he started talking and he had nothing intelligent to say---which was a major turn off. Looks do matter to an extent, but if you don't have any kind of personality it just really ruins everything. Right now I'm talking to someone but it's just in the beginning stages.
Yeah, I totally agree that most guys think that big girls are easy targets! I know some big girls who have no problem getting and keeping a man. However, it's only a few. It's funny that you should mention the part about being active. I've never thought about that!
04-11-2012, 04:21 PM
Being heavy was never a deterrent for me having boys interested. Part of that is my curvy figure but most of it is confidence. I do have a tendency to present as a lesbian because I have super short hair, am outspoken, wear functional clothes, work as an engineer, etc. Once guys realize I'm NOT a lesbian there's plenty of attention. :-)
Regardless of all that attention I don't feel pretty. Clearly I have issues still!
04-11-2012, 04:58 PM
I was a 22/24 when I first "met" my husband online at a non-dating site. Er, I've lost 30 pounds since then and I'm still in the same size. :dizzy: :lol: Anyway, I probably can't contribute much here since I've only had two relationships, both serious, and was also a 22/24 when I met my ex (I gained a lot while with him and lost it all again) and was never really "out there" when it came to the dating world.
I spent a year getting to know my husband through online means, just as friends. When we became something more we kept in contact by phone and I eventually moved out of state to be with him. I was really nervous about my weight before we met in person for the first time, but he told me it didn't matter to him in the slightest. :) I think I got one of the good ones. ;)
04-12-2012, 02:20 PM
I've had passes made at me when I was 138 lb and when I was 192 lb. Trust me - men like women in all shapes/sizes and formats. Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation. And if you're INTERESTED in someone, LET HIM KNOW. While rejection sure ain't no fun, it's no where near as bad as never know'n!!! ;) :hug:
Now get out there & date your *** off!!!! :cb:
Not recently, but I've dated at my high weight, both online and IRL. Really, the hottest person I ever slept with--he was seriously way out of my league--I met at my high weight. And I was the one to break up with him (hot doesn't trump crazy. At least not for long).
If anything, it was easier when I was at a higher weight since I was older than I was at my low weight (which wasn't all *that* low). I just kind of knew more. I'm not inherently a date-y person, though, so...you know, it's not like I want that to change.