100 lb. Club - New Photo - Taken Tonight




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SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 12:12 AM
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berryblondeboys
04-11-2012, 12:24 AM
Very nice and your eyes are the exact same color blue as your shirt... Was it processed that way? Since I can see some processing has been done. Some softening and brightening of the color.

Arctic Mama
04-11-2012, 12:24 AM
You look great! And absolutely your face is looking slimmer, making your pretty eyes stand out that much more :)


Madame Souza
04-11-2012, 12:26 AM
You look great! I just got done changing my avatar photo when I saw your thread. New pictures are so fun.

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 12:32 AM
Thank you for your kind words Artic and Madame

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 01:04 AM
I just want to say that it is really hard for a lot of overweight people to love themselves and even harder sometimes for people to post a photo of themselves when they feel they are less than perfect, or in the process of trying to turn someone they hate in the mirror into someone they can embrace and love.

I do not want to start a debate and I in no way think that berryblondeboys was trying to hurt my feeling but she did. So I have removed my photo because obviously I am not ready to have other people looking at and judging me.

Thanks to all the wonderful people I have met on this amazing site who continue to support and motivate me each and every day.

lovemydoggiesx2
04-11-2012, 06:27 AM
I am disappointed that you removed the photo. I think you should have no other feeling than being completely proud of accomplishments thus far. NO ONE is here to judge you girl, we are ALL here for the same reasons. To have the support we need while on this journey.

My vote is you thicken your skin a little, and let us all see the drastic changes you have made. You should be so proud. Without seeing you, I can still say ¨Great job, you are beautiful¨ Keep up the hard work!

berryblondeboys
04-11-2012, 11:11 AM
I just want to say that it is really hard for a lot of overweight people to love themselves and even harder sometimes for people to post a photo of themselves when they feel they are less than perfect, or in the process of trying to turn someone they hate in the mirror into someone they can embrace and love.

I do not want to start a debate and I in no way think that berryblondeboys was trying to hurt my feeling but she did. So I have removed my photo because obviously I am not ready to have other people looking at and judging me.

Thanks to all the wonderful people I have met on this amazing site who continue to support and motivate me each and every day.

Oh good grief - I, in no way, was trying to be critical! People process photos all the time! I wish I knew how! One of my best friends is a professional children's photographer. She takes photos of the most beautiful children and she STILL softens and smooths and boosts colors - why? Because the camera is too harsh - with a flash it creates unnatural tones/shadows - processing makes it look more like we see others - not how the camera sees us.

I look like an old hag in most photos (especially those taken inside) because of no processing and that's NOT how I look to myself (or how my husband sees me) in real life.

I was merely asking - is that the color of your eyes? The same as your shirt? And if so - Wow! And if not, cool effect!

Blueberries
04-11-2012, 12:14 PM
OP, I hope you'll consider reposting your photo!

Oh good grief - I, in no way, was trying to be critical! People process photos all the time! I wish I knew how! One of my best friends is a professional children's photographer. She takes photos of the most beautiful children and she STILL softens and smooths and boosts colors - why? Because the camera is too harsh - with a flash it creates unnatural tones/shadows - processing makes it look more like we see others - not how the camera sees us.

I look like an old hag in most photos (especially those taken inside) because of no processing and that's NOT how I look to myself (or how my husband sees me) in real life.

I was merely asking - is that the color of your eyes? The same as your shirt? And if so - Wow! And if not, cool effect!

This is sort of an OT hijack, and I in no way mean any disrespect to your friend, but the part I bolded above is just wrong. A true professional photographer should be able to manipulate the light in a way that does look natural, whether or not artificial lighting is used. Harsh lighting typically comes from using the flash that's onboard the camera, which (in most cases) a professional should not be doing.

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 12:53 PM
I am in no way angry with blondeberryboys, she has been a great friend and inspiration to me on the message board and on her blog. She did nothing wrong. If anythink I am angry with myself for being so insecure.

I was actually going to ask a moderator or administrator to remove this post but I actually have changed my mind. I want to discuss further what was posted, what it really meant, and what my insecurities processed, so I may possible overcome my feelings of being inadequate.

berryblondeboys posted:
Very nice and your eyes are the exact same color blue as your shirt... Was it processed that way? Since I can see some processing has been done. Some softening and brightening of the color.

berryblondeboys meant:
I was merely asking - is that the color of your eyes? The same as your shirt? And if so - Wow! And if not, cool effect!

Now in my damaged mind I processed "Nice faked photoshop picture, now what do you really look like because there is no way your eyes are that blue and what else did you fix" How did I turn Melissa's nice statement into that? Easy because most of my adult life I have been told how fat, ugly, and inadequate I was. Add to that the fact that my weight blew up to 300 pounds, and I no longer know much less love the person I see in the mirror.

But I am working on it with the support of my wonderful DH (our four year anniversary is in May) who loves me unconditionally no matter what I look like or what I weigh. He has helped and supported me every step of the way on losing this weight. He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. When I can learn to love myself the way he loves me I will know I have finally accomplished my ultimate goal.

Now that I have explained my reaction I know that I am not the only person out there that feels this way when someone says something completely innocent and your brain goes haywire and turns it into something mean and nasty. As for the comment to "thicken my skin" I am fighting that battle each and every day.

berryblondeboys
04-11-2012, 12:58 PM
OP, I hope you'll consider reposting your photo!



This is sort of an OT hijack, and I in no way mean any disrespect to your friend, but the part I bolded above is just wrong. A true professional photographer should be able to manipulate the light in a way that does look natural, whether or not artificial lighting is used. Harsh lighting typically comes from using the flash that's onboard the camera, which (in most cases) a professional should not be doing.

But you cannot always manipulate the light. I should specify. She's not working in a studio with lighting. She does shots at the beach, outdoors, in parks - kids in natural play, not photo sessions in a studio.

berryblondeboys
04-11-2012, 01:00 PM
I am in no way angry with blondeberryboys, she has been a great friend and inspiration to me on the message board and on her blog. She did nothing wrong. If anythink I am angry with myself for being so insecure.

I was actually going to ask a moderator or administrator to remove this post but I actually have changed my mind. I want to discuss further what was posted, what it really meant, and what my insecurities processed, so I may possible overcome my feelings of being inadequate.

berryblondeboys posted:


berryblondeboys meant:


Now in mind I processed "Nice faked photoshop picture, now what do you really look like because there is no way your eyes are that blue and what else did you fix" How did I turn Melissa nice statement into that? Easy because most of my adult life I have been told how fat, ugly, and inadequate I was. Add to that the fact that my weight blew up to 300 pounds, and I no longer know much less love the person I see in the mirror.

But I am working on it with the support of my wonderful DH (our four year anniversary is in May) who loves me unconditionally no matter what I look like or what I weigh. He has helped and supported me every step of the way on losing this weight. He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. When I can learn to love myself the way he loves me I will know I have finally accomplished my ultimate goal.

Now that I have explained my reaction I know that I am not the only person out there that feels this way when someone says something completely innocent and your brain goes haywire and turns it into something mean and nasty. As for the comment to "thicken my skin" I am fighting that battle each and every day.


Well, I'm glad you can see 'past' what might have come across as a criticism. It totally wasn't and you know what? it shows progress with YOURSELF too that you can step back and see that it wasn't meant as a criticism when you force yourself to.

It was a beautiful photo of yourself - with or without processing. you ARE A beautiful woman!

SensualSiren
04-11-2012, 01:04 PM
I know this is not the original point of this thread, but I just wanted to add that I personally get so tired of people telling me to "thicken my skin" whenever I am hurt, etc., over something someone said/did. It's basically telling someone to change/ignore/stop having their feelings or reactions to a situation. Whether or not that person benefits from the feeling/emotion/reaction is irrelevant. We all have sensitive moments or issues that are sensitive for us. Having emotions is part of being human.

SarahFairhope
04-11-2012, 01:12 PM
Oh my, Smallsteps, you are singing my song! In the past (and a little now still), I just couldn't stand when people say, "OMG, you've lost weight, you look fantastic!!"

What do I hear? "Oh, so glad you are FINALLY doing something about that. You've looked like a fat slob for years. I better let you know that you look better now so you keep it up. Your worth to me is totally tied into your ability to control what you eat. Sure hope she you don't blow back up again, yuck!"

Its ridiculous. I know its ridiculous, but its something I struggle with, too. I really do know that that isn't true. I'm really impressed with your ability to recognize that its your own negative thought pattern and sharing that.

Blueberries
04-11-2012, 01:37 PM
But you cannot always manipulate the light. I should specify. She's not working in a studio with lighting. She does shots at the beach, outdoors, in parks - kids in natural play, not photo sessions in a studio.

Photography is all about manipulating the light, even outdoors or in changing conditions. Part of the deal is that you don't shoot a subject in bad/harsh light. I don't shoot in a studio, either, and I never end up with shots that have to be heavily processed in order to make the light look natural.

Again, sorry for taking the OT hijack. I am just really sensitive to the fact that there are a lot of people who think fancy camera = instant professional photographer and don't bother to learn anything about lighting, composition, color, etc. Processing does not make a bad photo better. I don't mean to imply that your friend is one of those people, but the industry has been overrun with them lately, and it grates on a lot of nerves. I just wanted to make sure that people reading this thread don't think it's okay to pay for pictures with bad lighting.

I am in no way angry with blondeberryboys, she has been a great friend and inspiration to me on the message board and on her blog. She did nothing wrong. If anythink I am angry with myself for being so insecure.

I was actually going to ask a moderator or administrator to remove this post but I actually have changed my mind. I want to discuss further what was posted, what it really meant, and what my insecurities processed, so I may possible overcome my feelings of being inadequate.

berryblondeboys posted:


berryblondeboys meant:


Now in mind I processed "Nice faked photoshop picture, now what do you really look like because there is no way your eyes are that blue and what else did you fix" How did I turn Melissa nice statement into that? Easy because most of my adult life I have been told how fat, ugly, and inadequate I was. Add to that the fact that my weight blew up to 300 pounds, and I no longer know much less love the person I see in the mirror.

But I am working on it with the support of my wonderful DH (our four year anniversary is in May) who loves me unconditionally no matter what I look like or what I weigh. He has helped and supported me every step of the way on losing this weight. He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. When I can learn to love myself the way he loves me I will know I have finally accomplished my ultimate goal.

Now that I have explained my reaction I know that I am not the only person out there that feels this way when someone says something completely innocent and your brain goes haywire and turns it into something mean and nasty. As for the comment to "thicken my skin" I am fighting that battle each and every day.

OP, I'm glad you're getting to the bottom of your feelings. I meant what I said above and do sincerely hope that you'll reconsider reposting your photo!

Auty
04-11-2012, 01:59 PM
Smallsteps, I dont need to see a picture to be able to tell that you are doing wonderful, I see you active in the forum just about every day (except when you were ill and I am glad you are feeling better) and to me that means you are dedicated not only to yourself but to others here and that to me is better than what any picture could tell me.

My husband is a psychologist (MA 2 years to PhD) and says kudos to you for processing how you feel and working through this, like Sensualsiren said, accepting your emotions and understanding that they are natural is key to anything you do.

Blueberries, I understand your issue about photography and everyone thinking if they have a dslr they are now a professional, but having photography as a hobby I also understand that sometimes the absolute best photographers learn by experience only but that sure does take time. It took me 3 years to learn how to shoot the Aurora Borealis in actual focus and appropriate lighting and aperture and when it comes to side by side comparison I just let my photos do the talking. However, I will probably never become a professional, I enjoy it to much to ever try to make it a career and nursing pays better anyway :)

Justwant2Bhealthy
04-11-2012, 04:48 PM
Smallsteps ~ I'd love to see your new pics; and I know that you have beautiful blue eyes becuz I've seen a picture that you posted before. I have a friend with eyes the same color as yours; and another one, who has "aqua" blue eyes: so awesome and rare.

The problem with the written word is that it can be taken wrong so easily. Just yesterday I was trying to encourage someone who took it all wrong becuz she was so upset. I always reply becuz I care and want to help; and that's my very nature ... :hug:

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:06 PM
Well, I'm glad you can see 'past' what might have come across as a criticism. It totally wasn't and you know what? it shows progress with YOURSELF too that you can step back and see that it wasn't meant as a criticism when you force yourself to.

It was a beautiful photo of yourself - with or without processing. you ARE A beautiful woman!

Thank you Melissa for your continued support and encouragement :)

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:08 PM
I am disappointed that you removed the photo. I think you should have no other feeling than being completely proud of accomplishments thus far. NO ONE is here to judge you girl, we are ALL here for the same reasons. To have the support we need while on this journey.

My vote is you thicken your skin a little, and let us all see the drastic changes you have made. You should be so proud. Without seeing you, I can still say ¨Great job, you are beautiful¨ Keep up the hard work!


Well Sarah I can say you are not the first person ever disappointed in me and probably not the last. I am disappointed in myself most days. I fight a battle everyday to learn love and self acceptance. Yesterday obviously was not my day.

Thank you for your kind words and one day I hope to feel as beautiful as all you wonderful people seem to think I am! :hug:

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:14 PM
I know this is not the original point of this thread, but I just wanted to add that I personally get so tired of people telling me to "thicken my skin" whenever I am hurt, etc., over something someone said/did. It's basically telling someone to change/ignore/stop having their feelings or reactions to a situation. Whether or not that person benefits from the feeling/emotion/reaction is irrelevant. We all have sensitive moments or issues that are sensitive for us. Having emotions is part of being human.

SensualSiren don't you ever let anyone make you feel like your feelings/emotions/reaction is unimportant or irrelevant. Emotions are a very important part of learning, growing and accepting ones self and well being. :hug:

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:21 PM
Oh my, Smallsteps, you are singing my song! In the past (and a little now still), I just couldn't stand when people say, "OMG, you've lost weight, you look fantastic!!"

What do I hear? "Oh, so glad you are FINALLY doing something about that. You've looked like a fat slob for years. I better let you know that you look better now so you keep it up. Your worth to me is totally tied into your ability to control what you eat. Sure hope she you don't blow back up again, yuck!"

Its ridiculous. I know its ridiculous, but its something I struggle with, too. I really do know that that isn't true. I'm really impressed with your ability to recognize that its your own negative thought pattern and sharing that.


Hang in there SarahFairhope we are going to make it!!

Isn't it amazing how we struggle to hear something nice when someone is obviously trying to pay you a compliment? I myself don't think I am worthy of a compliment so I always try to put a dig or ulterior motive in everyones words. I am working on changing that as I am working on changing my body and self image.

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:23 PM
OP, I'm glad you're getting to the bottom of your feelings. I meant what I said above and do sincerely hope that you'll reconsider reposting your photo!

Thank you for all your kind words and support Blueberries. I don't think I am quite ready to post a photo but maybe soon I will try again. :hug:

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:41 PM
Smallsteps, I dont need to see a picture to be able to tell that you are doing wonderful, I see you active in the forum just about every day (except when you were ill and I am glad you are feeling better) and to me that means you are dedicated not only to yourself but to others here and that to me is better than what any picture could tell me.

My husband is a psychologist (MA 2 years to PhD) and says kudos to you for processing how you feel and working through this, like Sensualsiren said, accepting your emotions and understanding that they are natural is key to anything you do.

Thank you for your kind words Auty. I am so happy that I am finally feeling better too. I always try to be active in the forum and support and encourage others that are going through this battle. If only I could take my own advice sometimes things might be easier for me. :dizzy:

SmallSteps
04-11-2012, 05:44 PM
Smallsteps ~ I'd love to see your new pics; and I know that you have beautiful blue eyes becuz I've seen a picture that you posted before. I have a friend with eyes the same color as yours; and another one, who has "aqua" blue eyes: so awesome and rare.

The problem with the written word is that it can be taken wrong so easily. Just yesterday I was trying to encourage someone who took it all wrong becuz she was so upset. I always reply becuz I care and want to help; and that's my very nature ... :hug:

Thank you so much Justwant2Bhealthy for your kindnesss and words of encouragement. :hug: I was having a bad night and I automatically took Melissa's kind words out of context and got my feathers ruffled it does happen to the best of us. I am always here trying to help anyone who needs love, support and encouragement because this is a hard journey we are all on. I just find it hard to take my own advice sometimes! :dizzy: