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Old 04-06-2012, 10:41 PM   #1  
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Default The joy of being a (fat) woman.

I love you TOM,
and sodium too,
working together to plan a coup,
unfair I say,
I want to lose,
not swell and puff and squish and ooze,
up three pounds in just one day,
I drink and drink, can't pee away
the extra weight, it looms and threatens,
I just keep plannin' and countin' and sweatin',
In about a week your reign will be done,
The scale will move, yet not a ton,
Those three to five pounds, and hopefully more,
Is the reward that waits in store....

Just an ode to hormonal flux. Had a salty meal at the wrong time of the month-BLAMMO! Instant extra fatness. Puffy, fluidy, annoying water weight! Yay-I love bein' a woman! I envy my husband's never fluctuating weight and stable hormonal condition. I have teared up during three commercials tonight- and they weren't even sappy! AAAAAHHHH. I know it's only temporary- until next month! I feel so much thinner inside. I even had one of my coworkers say the phrase I always hear first: "I notice you lost weight, especially your face, it looks way thinner."
Oh goodie, cuz I already had my face thong picked out for the beach this summer!
Are you kidding me? My face? Yes, cuz that's exactly where I feel the fattest. Let's put a pic of my back fat next to my face so we can revel in my FACE's thinness. I cracked up. It's my face that doesn't fit in my clothes anymore, and I just cannot wear horizontally striped makeup, cuz it packs on the pounds!
Just a little humor to lighten your day. Ironically, the increase on the scale, although only water, makes me work harder to get it back down. Here's to motivation for those who need it today, especially if you've been told how thin your face is...
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:47 PM   #2  
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Cute little ditty - I could apply it to ovulation time for me too - and I double whammied this month by eating higher carb around that time too - an instant 5 lbs gain! Ugh!!!
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Old 04-06-2012, 11:34 PM   #3  
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Very cute; the face thong really made me laugh!
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Old 04-07-2012, 04:07 AM   #4  
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Hilarious!
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Old 04-07-2012, 06:00 AM   #5  
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Old 04-07-2012, 06:03 AM   #6  
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Hahaaaa so true!!!
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