100 lb. Club - Is it weird...




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junebug44
04-03-2012, 07:29 PM
...that I keep track of my entire history...NOT chronologically but by how much I weighed at the time? My husband and I were looking through some old pictures recently and I kept saying, "oh and I thought I was huge on that trip and I was only 235 pounds!" or "look at me at 185 pounds." My husband was just looking at me like, "I must have married a crazy person!" ;) I've really started thinking about how sad it is that no matter what weight I was in those pictures, at the time I thought I was the most obese person on the planet. To me...weight equaled happiness. I couldn't enjoy Mexico because I had to wear a bathing suite. I couldn't enjoy the wedding because I knew people were talking about how much larger I was than I used to be. It goes on and on...

I'm trying to realize this time that it's not all about the scale. I was just reading a post about how we let our history impact us and we hang on to what we "should be" or "have been." I guess I'm just now starting to realize that this journey is filled with much more than numbers on the scale. Who knew? :D


Arctic Mama
04-03-2012, 08:15 PM
If it is weird, I am weird too. It just so happens most of my daily time-marking is related to weightloss and fitness, since that has been a focus of mine for a few years, and I began looking through my old pictures to figure out what weights I was (for progress/goal comparisons). So now the history of mine I know best and deal with the most frequently is my weight one, just because it is related to how I spend my free time (exercising, on the forums, helping others with their journeys, blogging, etc).

We don't want to fixate or attach negative connotations to our histories where none need exist, obviously, but I don't see anything wrong with noting time by weight - when we are seeking to change it, it isn't inappropriate or surprising that it becomes more important to us than it might be to a random person on the street.

DaugT
04-03-2012, 08:28 PM
add me to the weird club. I can pretty much tell you what weight I was at any given time from high school on. (I'm late 30's).
I may not remember to make my kids lunch some days before school, but I can sure as heck tell you what weight I was on that vacation ten years ago that I swore I would be thin for. LOL
I would love to get to the point when I don't mark events by weight anymore, maybe I always will, but thinking once I get to where I want to be it won't 'mark the occasion' any longer as I'm sure the reason I remember them all is because I either tried or hoped to be smaller for them.


sevencallmemom
04-03-2012, 08:35 PM
I do that too. :/

linJber
04-04-2012, 12:35 AM
I think we all know what we weighed at certain times in our lives. What I guess I find weird about me is that I know I never enjoyed something less because of my weight. I was the biggest person in my family and I stand out in holiday and other family occasion photos, but I never worried about how those people thought about me - they were family. Other than with them, I was never the biggest person in a group of friends or acquaintances, so it didn't really bother me then, either. And while I was over 250 pounds, I was pretty fit in that I could walk all day at Disney or ride rides at an amusement park, so I never missed out on what I wanted to do.

Maybe it would have been better if I had felt differently - I would have done something about my weight sooner.

Lin

junebug44
04-04-2012, 06:18 PM
Oh I'm so glad I'm not the sole member of the "weird club.":dizzy:

And Lin...I hope that I could one day I can follow in your footsteps and enjoy every moment regardless of the number on the scale. You are inspiring :D

Elizabeth779
04-05-2012, 04:12 AM
oh i've done that ..... and even more weird -- i associate locations when i'm giving direction to someone by telling them which fast food restaurant location it is near -- my hubby pointed that out many years ago....and i caught myself doing that just last night....:D:D

linJber
04-05-2012, 01:03 PM
Thanks, Junebug. You are a remarkable person and deserve to feel good about yourself regardless of shape or size. I hope you get that soon! Life is fun if you let it be! We all need to realize that we deserve to be healthy and happy and it comes from within. Then we can move forward.

Lin

Goddess Jessica
04-05-2012, 05:58 PM
I am totally part of that weird club and WORSE, I started doing it with my boyfriend. He's gained a lot of weight and I will see a pic of me (very heavy) and him (much thinner) and I will say, "Oh look, I weighed 280 there and you were like 190?" Let me NOT recommend this in your own relationship.

junebug44
04-06-2012, 11:23 AM
Ah, this is exactly what I needed this morning...I've been going through some stressful personal situations and a little bit of encouragement and a few laughs this morning does the heart good :) Thanks you guys :hug:

SarahFairhope
04-06-2012, 12:45 PM
Wow, what a therapeutic topic. I also can think back and attach at weight and that weight feeling with that moment. And thinking more on the subject, I am just now realizing that for so many important event in my life - I don't have pictures of myself doing/during them. I hated that my body did not reflect "me" and so I would just make documenting any of it just something unimportant to me. But it wasn't unimportant to me, I just hated how my body looked.

cherrypie
04-06-2012, 12:54 PM
I totally know what I weighed on every day of my life :lol:

junebug44
04-06-2012, 04:06 PM
Sarah - that's so interesting that you bring that up...I refused to even hire a professional photographer for my wedding; not because we didn't have the money, but because I swore "it didn't matter to me." I think I was just afraid to have to take the pictures and look at them. Of course other people took tons of pictures, but I don't have them, and I don't have to look at them :) I've never really allowed myself to admit that until you just brought that up...so I totally know how you feel!

theox
04-08-2012, 05:00 PM
I think it's pretty normal to contextualize events within the dominating themes of our lives. Clearly, there are several folks on here who demarcate parts of their past by what they weighed at different times. And how many people have you met who speak of the past in terms of their children? "Let's see, Jane was 2, and I wasn't pregnant with John yet, so it must have been spring of...." :)

Trazey34
04-08-2012, 09:46 PM
I'm the oddball, I have NO idea what I weighed at certain parts of my life, simply because I never got on a scale LOL if you don't KNOW for sure you're fat, you're NOT FAT right??? RIIIIIIIIIGHT???? ha

Amy23
04-09-2012, 07:54 AM
Wow, what a therapeutic topic. I also can think back and attach at weight and that weight feeling with that moment. And thinking more on the subject, I am just now realizing that for so many important event in my life - I don't have pictures of myself doing/during them. I hated that my body did not reflect "me" and so I would just make documenting any of it just something unimportant to me. But it wasn't unimportant to me, I just hated how my body looked.

Same. Photos of me are few and far between as I learnt at a very young age (right around the time I started gaining weight) to skilfully dodge the camera whenever it was around.

I think I was doing it because whenever I happened to see pictures of myself I was able to see how fat I really was. But when photos are not in front of your face you're able to lie to yourself; and we all know the mirror lies!

Amy23
04-09-2012, 08:13 AM
I'm the oddball, I have NO idea what I weighed at certain parts of my life, simply because I never got on a scale LOL if you don't KNOW for sure you're fat, you're NOT FAT right??? RIIIIIIIIIGHT???? ha

Haha!

I constantly avoided the scale while I was gaining weight (a good 10+ years). When I finally hopped on a month or so ago I actually managed to convince myself that it was broken! I just could not accept that the number I was seeing on the scale was a reality. I went out and bought another scale and the number was the same. I didn't cry, but ever since that moment I've stuck to my plan like glue. Another failure at this stage is not an option. I will never be over 300 lbs again!