General chatter - I want to be one of the pretty people
03-31-2012, 05:23 PM
Now I am obese(barely) and not that great looking. I feel horrible. I look ten times better than I did but still feel horrible. I was just remembering in the sixth grade when we had a square dance during school. I was the last girl standing for being picked, luckily there was one guy left to dance with me. I hated school, kids always laughing at me.:(
I also remember the pretty ones, the top guy in school was Matt. Tall, black hair that shone, and beautiful blue eyes. He probably doesn't even remember me. I had a crush on so many guys while in school, I only got laughed at if they found out. It was humilating.
I wasn't big back then, I just never fit in.
I just found some clothes in my closet that are a size smaller. I tried on a pair of 14 pants just for giggles and they FIT! Then I tried on a large shirt and guess what it FIT too! I should be happy but and more miserable than when I woke up.
Yes I am losing weight and several inches but I will never be one of the pretty people. I will never be popular and have gorgeous guys look at me. The only place on me that guys look at is my breasts! Then they look up and look away!
I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself! I started loosing weight for my health now I want to be pretty too! It is NOT going to happen though. I look like what I look like. God made this way for a reason, don't know what it is but I guess He had some purpose in mind!
Thanks for reading, I'll go for my hour long walk now. It usually perks me up, plus it's good for me.
Sorry for the whine I just needed to put it out there. Does anyone feel like I do? If so how do you handle it?
I know I should be happy about the smaller clothes that I was shocked fit but, well, I am just not. I want to be pretty and turn heads! SIGH!
Sorry to read that you're feeling so down. Just wanted to send you some cyber hugs :hug:
You've made some amazing progress in your weight loss journey. Just get try to get those negative thoughts out of your head.
I hope your walk helped you some.
Best wishes to you and more hugs :hug:
03-31-2012, 07:07 PM
Thank you ddc for the hugs, that helps!
The walk did help thanks. I feel thinner every time I go for a walk. Not sure why but I do. That always makes me feel better. Plus I seen a guy in a wheelchair. I figured after seeing him that I wasn't so bad off. There is worse things than looking like I do. He even said "Hi" to me as I passed by him. He seemed to have a positive additude and was outside getting some exercise on the trail I walk on. I figure if he can be positive then I can try to be positive too! Really made me think.
03-31-2012, 08:10 PM
Hi blueice10! I wanted to send you some cyber hugs too, if that's ok? :hug: I'm so glad the walk made you feel better. Just remember, that guy you saw in the wheel chair is visibly dealing with something, but many people have something you can't even see. For instance, I suffer really bad from chronic daily migraines. I may look ok, but I'm not. There are days when I feel like breaking down but I don't allow it. I may have moments when I don't wanna go on, but I do and just try to do my best to go on and enjoy life regardless.
You are probably very hard on yourself. I"ll bet you're actually really cute. ;)
Also, why do you want the pretty boy? Those guys aren't always what they're cracked up to be. There are plenty of men who are awesome and will love you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Why crave something that isn't even necessarily that great? I"m sure there are pretty boys out there that are fun and smart and attentive, but honestly, I think that you should focus on the qualities you want in a guy rather than how he looks. I suppose we all want what we can't have but you CAN have it all if you just reframe your thinking.
Love yourself. Pick something about yourself that you love and remind yourself about it every time a negative thought sneaks in. It's like working out but it's practicing positive thinking. Give it a try. :hug:
03-31-2012, 09:48 PM
It's such a cliche, but how can anyone love you - or how can you love anyone - if you can't even start with yourself??
So what if you're not 'pretty'? If you're thinner and fit, take care of yourself, have a good hair cut and use make up properly -- again, so what? if your INSDIE says "i'm ugly and no one wants me" guess what? that'll come true. If your inner light is dimmed, no one can see it, and that does NO ONE any good. That light's gotta burn bright, maybe brighter than someone who was born lucky and had a beautiful face.
People/men don't necessarily respond solely to the pretty face, sure it helps, but inner confidence, kindness, sense of humour, go a LONG way.
B!tching & moaning over not being born one of the lucky gorgeous ones is pointless my dear - make the best of what you have and find some happiness in yourself
03-31-2012, 09:57 PM
Hun, who said you aren't beautiful? I believe every person is beautiful in their own way and they should be very proud of that. Don't let the past pull you down! I too was usually picked last when I was in grade school. I had only a few boyfriends during high school but those people saw everything...the beauty inside and out. I am not as pretty as Jennifer Anniston but I am beautiful in my own way. So who cares what everyone else thinks! Congrats on your weight loss...good work!
03-31-2012, 10:39 PM
Nobody feels he/she is beautiful. Beauty lies in eyes of beholder. Do you know
Everybody has different definition of beauty. For most of Indians, white color is beauty. For some people, your good nature is your beauty. People who love each other always feel, their partner is beautiful. Walk with confidence, chin up, be bubbly and happy, try to help people...and keep up the good work.
Your good thoughts will bring beauty on your face.
04-01-2012, 12:21 AM
Thanks luckymommy and everyone else. I was just remembering the past earlier today. I feel much better now. I guess I just needed to whine a little!:dizzy: Sorry!
I suffer from depression and a mental illness I would rather not mention here. I was just feeling very down earlier. Simply put feeling sorry for myself. I try not to do that but earlier, well, I wasn't doing so great. I read a good book and did laundry now I feel better. And whining a little helped. At least at the time it helped. I just needed to vent.
Thanks again everyone. Later!
04-01-2012, 01:22 AM
SERIOUSLY BlueIce think about this. When you love yourself and are comfortable with who you are, your "looks"(face) isn't as important as your PERSONALITY. I know quite a few "ugly" girls with gorgeous boyfriends because they truly like each other. Beauty is in the eye if the beholder. My boyfriend loves me whether I am skinny/fat ugly/pretty. When you find the right person you will know!
04-01-2012, 02:23 AM
Thanks for the advice Tiff! I will try to remember that!
04-01-2012, 03:27 AM
:hug: Hang in there. As Whitney used to sing...learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.
04-01-2012, 03:27 AM
does anyone feel like one of the pretty people? I'm not being flippant but seriously, we all went to school with them, but I've never met an adult who thought they were one of those people.
04-01-2012, 05:47 AM
I was like you at school - ignored, never fit in, etc. I used to dream of being one of those pretty, popular kids. Years later I bumped into one of them - she looked worn out, ragged and had 3 kids in tow. I'd just come back from a backpacking trip and was all tanned and hippyish. As we chatted she turned round and said how much she envied me and the amazing life I had and how good I looked. I was shocked but it made me realise that all that school nonsense was just that. It's all about perception and self confidence.
Don't look at others and dream (it won't change anything and just makes you waste some of your precious life), learn to love yourself, make the most of what you have and face the world with your head held high. Believe in yourself. You'll find that people react to you completely differently! I've noticed this since I've lost weight and started following my own advice again - I've stopped being invisible and although I've never considered myself much of a "looker", I seem to get a few compliments. It doesn't just work after weight loss either - I was that same, confident happy soul when I was big until a bad relationship ground my confidence down. Try it - you might be surprised.
Be yourself, only better! :hug:
04-01-2012, 06:59 AM
Thanks Ellie and Mari! Excellent advise.
I would write more now but I just woke up after being asleep for like two hours, it's going to a long day ahead. I will try to go back to sleep but I doubt it will help. So for now I'm fixing breakfast! My stomach hurts a little it's growling so loud.
Anyhow thanks to everyone who's posted. I appreciate that you took the time to read and respond. I'm still trying to learn new things so any advise is appreciated.
Thanks everyone! And I hope to be able to truelly love myself one day! Probably won't happen today but hopefully someday! Later everyone.
04-01-2012, 08:56 AM
Bookmarking this to come back when I have more time to respond.
04-01-2012, 04:19 PM
First a hug: :hug:
Now some thoughts
-I have never met a woman who was not made beautiful by a smile. This sounds cheesy, but it's true. I just started at my current college and have been making new girl friends and more than once found myself thinking "wow, she's really pretty when she smiles." And I'm talking a genuine smile than emanates from inner joy--not a just a pasted on grin for the camera. So I'd suggest smiling more--focusing on your goals that you've already met and things that you are thankful for should put you in a smiling mood. :)
-find something-anything about yourself that you like. I personally really like my eyes--actually I think most every one's eyes are pretty, but mine are the prettiest. ;) I like my hair color too, even though my hair itself never wants to look good. Doesn't have to be facial feature--you might have really cute feet. There's gotta be something that you like.
-watch 'What Not To Wear.' You'd be shocked at what they can do with a new outfit and some makeup and hair styling. It might give you some ideas with your wardrobe.