30-Somethings - Me

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03-27-2012, 08:08 PM
I have always been on the chubby side, and I got really heavy (around 250) when I was 20 due to medication I was taking... now at 30 I am back around a normal weight thanks to exercise and careful eating.

However I have noticed a lot of attention from guys, and I need to learn how to manage this...

having never really been "sexy" before... it's a new thing for me and learning how to deal with that is new. are there other women on here in this same situation?


I posted a similar post in the "depression" section... because the attention is kinda depressing, or at least scary and violating at times, which can bring up depression... but i thought I would post it here too, so sorry if it's doubled.



03-27-2012, 09:54 PM
Just in my limited experience with other people' s stories and television shows, books, etc.,(because I'm no expert) it seems that issues with men have to do with some women gaining weight in the first place. Whether it is an emotional vulnerability, or something as serious as rape or abuse, the weight is a physical barrier to having to deal with that sort of attention. Maybe talking with a therapist/counselor to get some of these issues sorted out would be a good idea. Otherwise, whatever is bothering you, no matter how big or small, might thwart your efforts for further loss and getting to your goal. Best wishes, and remember that men are looking at you because you are beautiful, whether you feel that way or not. You need to make your feelings about you match your outside!

03-27-2012, 10:18 PM
this sounds trite but seriously: start hanging out with skinny women and *observe closely*. if you meet one you really click with, just ask her flat out - "how the heck do you manage to function without guys being arsehats!?".

03-27-2012, 10:42 PM
yea I don't know if my extra weight is due to "issues with men" but maybe it is... as for making skinny friends... yea that's an ok idea. i would definitely like to have more female friends.

i feel like it sounds like i'm boasting or something (or maybe it sounds kind of pathetic...) but it just seems so much easier to get attention from guys, harder to connect with women.

I guess I just have to keep trying... and as for the "see a therapist" advice... I do already see one... but she isn't skinny! ha ha... she's actually quite heavy, obese even. but i really like her.