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meditateinmydirectio
03-27-2012, 06:57 PM
Hi,

tried to post this once already and it didn't go through, hopefully 2nd time will work.

anyways I've lost some weight and am getting more attention than I like. are others dealing with this too? how do you handle it?

thanks,

mimd


threenorns
03-27-2012, 07:20 PM
i went through that both times i lost weight before - and both times it was directly responsible for my decision to pack it all back on.

so, to put it bluntly, i didn't handle it well at all.

there's a whole set of social skills for skinny chicks that are completely different from those needed by fat chicks.

this time around, i just plan to hide in my basement a LOT and when i go outside, wear really baggy sloppy clothes bec i *so* do not need any more drama in my life.

meditateinmydirectio
03-27-2012, 07:30 PM
thanks for validating that

"a different social set needed for fat vs skinny women" I never really thought about it that way but i think it's true. as a fat woman you can be waaaaaaay friendlier to men than as a skinny, sexily dressed one.

dress up sexy and be skinny and be super friendly to a guy and bammo! you get offered phone numbers, and more physical contact than you are probably going to want.

I am having to learn "little white lies" which I never knew how to do before...

and as for the physical contact thing... "little white lies" for that too... I guess like

"i have a cold... please don't get too close"

I don't know what else...

I used to think if I lost weight all I would do was wear baggy clothes but I kind of think that it's motivating to wear nice pretty clothes that make me look good. but then the attention is a little de-motivating...

:)

thanks for replying!

:)


CHUNKEY_MUNKEY
03-27-2012, 08:12 PM
hmmm i think attention is alot about attitude ... im not saying you should go around being nasty or anything but if you honestly do not like the attention my approach would be to be very casual unintreasted and short in your response ....

i personally have a boyfriend and i know when other guys try to talk to me i smile acknowledge the compliment and then turn my attention away from them and on to something else .... *most of the time it will deter them , if they seem persistant i bluntly let them know im occupied at the moment and do not wish to continue the conversation or i simply move . these tactics are very effective at evading attention NO man wants to talk to a girl who is blatently turning there attention down i PROMISE you ... they will look for another girl to talk to /give there attention to !

do not let this deter you from getting healthy !

threenorns
03-27-2012, 09:05 PM
that's the problem, chunkey munkey: as a fat chick, i'm almost obligated to be "jolly", "warm-hearted", "nurturing" and all the rest of that crap.

you know - the "pleasant personality" - which i suck at.

also, as a fat chick (100lbs overweight, even), i get away with a helluva lot more than you skinny ones ever would - i seriously doubt you all could hit the street wearing your pajamas and tartan rubber boots with faux fur lining (they're $90 skechers but you wouldn't know it to look at them - i just have this decomposing effect on clothing, lol). when i do (on a distressingly regular basis - part of my "keep your distance" strategy), nobody even blinks - i'm very overweight and speak with a slight british accent so it's not surprising that i'm also eccentric.

when you're trim, however, there's this wierd concept that you're almost *obligated* to dress up - you can never leave the house without hair and makeup "just so". it was so stressful to be pulling my coat on and my bff says "omg, you're not going out like THAT are you!?" - i'm, like, "i'm going across the road for milk and eggs...." and she's all "but someone might SEE you!!! get in the bathroom, i've got my straightening iron on the go [it was ALWAYS ready to go, day or night]"

as a fat chick, you can put your full focus on some guy's face while having a truly enjoyable conversation and if he puts his arm around your waist (unlikely, btw), it's a quick laugh and a slither out of range.

as a skinny chick, first off, much less likely to have a good conversation because "everybody knows" that skinny chicks are dumber than fat chicks. i guess that's in the same category that "everybody knows" baguettes are less calories than italian bread.

as a fat chick, if i make direct eye contact and smile at someone, i'm just friendly.

as a skinny chick, if it's not the guy interpreting that as a come-on, it's his gf trying to trident my eyeballs out with her nails.

my oldest daughter, nik, was too skinny for most of her life. she was diagnosed with anorexia syndrome - she had all the symptoms of anorexia but is not body dysmorphic - she knows precisely what size she is; she was 22 when they figured out it was actually asperger's. she is absolutely spot perfect when it comes to social interaction - she can literally walk down the sidewalk wearing two postage stamps and a cork and men will *not* touch her bec, as one young man explained it, "you just know you're going to pull back a bloody stump". nik will, in fact, look like she's wearing the absolute cutting-edge latest fashion from paris no matter what she's got on. her bff, a fat chick who got skinny, tried to dress just like her - even to wearing the exact same cropped tee and miniskirt - and had guys tossing coins into her cleavage and dropping stuff in front of her to make her bend over so they could snap up-skirt shots with their cellphones.

that's just how it is - there are different rules depending on which caste of society you are perceived as belonging.

Amy23
03-27-2012, 09:40 PM
All of these comments kind of scared me. I was going to start a thread about it but I don't think I will until it becomes an actual issue.

About five years ago I (accidentally) lost a lot of weight. I was about 40 pounds less than I am now, and even then, the attention I got from men went from being non-existent to kind of uncomfortable. If I went out I'd get lots of comments about my breasts (they're huge) and lots of rude guys hitting on me (when they weren't busy hitting on my much smaller sister) because I suppose they just thought a fat chick would be up for anything, even with a gross and unfortunate-looking guy.

Not true. I don't like attention at all. I'm reasonably attractive and so I guess I'm afraid that when I lose weight I won't know how to navigate the world as a "normal girl." I've been fat forever. I've never had to learn how. I grew up as a fat girl and I relate to people, especially men, accordingly. The lack of attention I get being so big is what I see as one of the 'pros' of being overweight. It's not that I'm not interested in finding a guy one day, I just don't want to be noticed and subjected to awkward social interactions. I hate it.

It's funny, but the bigger you are, the more invisible you seem to be. I suppose I'm used to that now.

OP: I don't know you at all, but I would say that if you're not naturally assertive then you really need to work on acquiring those skills. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or to invade your personal space. There are subtle things you can do to deflect unwanted attention (invent a boyfriend or an excuse to hurry off) but if a guy's just not taking the hint, that's his problem, not yours. Remove yourself from the situation. No one has an automatic entitlement to your time, so just remember that. Don't insist on being 'nice' when a guy's invading your space and making you uncomfortable.

meditateinmydirectio
03-27-2012, 10:18 PM
yea... i have a good friend (a guy, but he has an awesome girlfriend) who suggested the "pretend boyfriend" idea... it definitely has it's merits. I have always been a terrible liar, a remnant from a childhood where I was absolutely not allowed to lie and with a mom who did not really understand about social lying (it's possible SHE might have aspergers, but if she does it is probably really mild)

anyways...

I just had an idea :)

you know how everything gets easier the more you do it? exercise gets easier, eating healthy gets easier, anything gets easier once it becomes a habit...

well (and this is something my therapist suggested too now that i recall...) maybe the attention is just hard right now because I am getting adjusted to it at first! and after I am used to it (maybe about a year from now? if I can maintain?)

I will have "dealt with" most of the awkward situations that might come up... ie, getting asked out by guys I'm not attracted to, having a guy grab my boobs, having someone ask for my number, being invited out on dates, being followed... whatever... all the creepy things guys do. anyways, once all that junk has happened, maybe i'll know how to deal with it, and i'll have a "procedure" in place already, and i won't be so stressed because I will already know how to react, i'll be expecting it, and I can prevent a bad situation from happening.

maybe situations that might have been stressful in the past (like being ignored!) aren't happening any more... so i have to learn new strategies (how to deal with attention) but once I've passed this stage... it'll be ok again.

hmmm.... food for thought.

jajomo0118
03-27-2012, 10:20 PM
I avoid unwanted direct male attention...by always mentioning my hubby in a casual way. As far as indirect male attention....as in looks as I am standing in the check out line...or driving in a car....I could careless about...I more than likely will never see or speak to those people.

Candeka
03-27-2012, 10:26 PM
that's the problem, chunkey munkey: as a fat chick, i'm almost obligated to be "jolly", "warm-hearted", "nurturing" and all the rest of that crap.

you know - the "pleasant personality" - which i suck at.

also, as a fat chick (100lbs overweight, even), i get away with a helluva lot more than you skinny ones ever would - i seriously doubt you all could hit the street wearing your pajamas and tartan rubber boots with faux fur lining (they're $90 skechers but you wouldn't know it to look at them - i just have this decomposing effect on clothing, lol). when i do (on a distressingly regular basis - part of my "keep your distance" strategy), nobody even blinks - i'm very overweight and speak with a slight british accent so it's not surprising that i'm also eccentric.

when you're trim, however, there's this wierd concept that you're almost *obligated* to dress up - you can never leave the house without hair and makeup "just so". it was so stressful to be pulling my coat on and my bff says "omg, you're not going out like THAT are you!?" - i'm, like, "i'm going across the road for milk and eggs...." and she's all "but someone might SEE you!!! get in the bathroom, i've got my straightening iron on the go [it was ALWAYS ready to go, day or night]"

as a fat chick, you can put your full focus on some guy's face while having a truly enjoyable conversation and if he puts his arm around your waist (unlikely, btw), it's a quick laugh and a slither out of range.

as a skinny chick, first off, much less likely to have a good conversation because "everybody knows" that skinny chicks are dumber than fat chicks. i guess that's in the same category that "everybody knows" baguettes are less calories than italian bread.

as a fat chick, if i make direct eye contact and smile at someone, i'm just friendly.

as a skinny chick, if it's not the guy interpreting that as a come-on, it's his gf trying to trident my eyeballs out with her nails.

my oldest daughter, nik, was too skinny for most of her life. she was diagnosed with anorexia syndrome - she had all the symptoms of anorexia but is not body dysmorphic - she knows precisely what size she is; she was 22 when they figured out it was actually asperger's. she is absolutely spot perfect when it comes to social interaction - she can literally walk down the sidewalk wearing two postage stamps and a cork and men will *not* touch her bec, as one young man explained it, "you just know you're going to pull back a bloody stump". nik will, in fact, look like she's wearing the absolute cutting-edge latest fashion from paris no matter what she's got on. her bff, a fat chick who got skinny, tried to dress just like her - even to wearing the exact same cropped tee and miniskirt - and had guys tossing coins into her cleavage and dropping stuff in front of her to make her bend over so they could snap up-skirt shots with their cellphones.

that's just how it is - there are different rules depending on which caste of society you are perceived as belonging.


I wear make up maybe once every two months and my pj pants and running shoes are my bff. Hoodies? I have 17 of them that I wear regularly! I attend university and see pj and sweat pants worn by skinny women ALL the time. I don't think it has anything to do with your weight on what you are expected of, but more so the crowd you hang out with.

I think it all comes from your energy. I have a friend who is about 270ish pounds and not very attractive, but she gets the hottest guys ever because she has this amazing energy that you just HAVE to be around. My other friend who has has been a size 6 all her life and is a beautiful blonde will be left in the dust when it comes to getting attention if she is out with my 270 pound friend, simply because of the way we give off energy.

meditateinmydirectio
03-27-2012, 10:27 PM
I like your quote "you can feel sore tomorrow or you can feel sorry tomorrow, you choose" that's funny.

did you make that up?

yea I don't really care if somebody looks at me either, that doesn't bother me, it's actually kind of flattering. it bothers me more if somebody (that I don't like or know) starts talking to me...

and like I said I suck at lying

something that amy23 was saying about being assertive kind of struck a chord...

it's important to be able to say "no" and have it mean something. I need to work on that.

roxmysox
03-27-2012, 10:30 PM
I quite enjoy male attention so I can't comment on dealing with any potential emotional issues surrounding it, but I can tell you how to get them to leave you alone! As with any other interaction in life, communication is key. If someone is approaching you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them. You could also wear a "wedding ring" since you aren't interested in the attention at all, you may find it keeps most men at bay. Those that still approach, a quick flash of the ring will send most of those packing. If it goes further than you having to say to someone "hey, I'm not interested but thanks anyway" there are bigger problems that may require some outside assistance.

meditateinmydirectio
03-27-2012, 10:31 PM
I agree with candeka... it might not be so much the 10 pound weight loss as it is the change in my confidence level that has come with it.

and there are definitely heavy women who men find hugely attractive. I know some women like that. and I also know women whose figures are (to quote a male friend) model-esque who are unable to find dates.

so it's definitely not just how you look.

here's another quote

"your attitude determines your altitude"

:)

BananaMontana
03-27-2012, 10:39 PM
If you don't want the attention a firm but polite "I'm not interested" is all you need. Then turn around and ignore the guy. If he's pushy, walk away. If he still persists, tell him he is making you feel threatened and if it continutes, you will call for help. It never usually gets that far though. In my experience once you say you're not interested, they back off.

BananaMontana
03-27-2012, 10:46 PM
that's the problem, chunkey munkey: as a fat chick, i'm almost obligated to be "jolly", "warm-hearted", "nurturing" and all the rest of that crap.

you know - the "pleasant personality" - which i suck at.

also, as a fat chick (100lbs overweight, even), i get away with a helluva lot more than you skinny ones ever would - i seriously doubt you all could hit the street wearing your pajamas and tartan rubber boots with faux fur lining (they're $90 skechers but you wouldn't know it to look at them - i just have this decomposing effect on clothing, lol). when i do (on a distressingly regular basis - part of my "keep your distance" strategy), nobody even blinks - i'm very overweight and speak with a slight british accent so it's not surprising that i'm also eccentric.

when you're trim, however, there's this wierd concept that you're almost *obligated* to dress up - you can never leave the house without hair and makeup "just so". it was so stressful to be pulling my coat on and my bff says "omg, you're not going out like THAT are you!?" - i'm, like, "i'm going across the road for milk and eggs...." and she's all "but someone might SEE you!!! get in the bathroom, i've got my straightening iron on the go [it was ALWAYS ready to go, day or night]"

as a fat chick, you can put your full focus on some guy's face while having a truly enjoyable conversation and if he puts his arm around your waist (unlikely, btw), it's a quick laugh and a slither out of range.

as a skinny chick, first off, much less likely to have a good conversation because "everybody knows" that skinny chicks are dumber than fat chicks. i guess that's in the same category that "everybody knows" baguettes are less calories than italian bread.

as a fat chick, if i make direct eye contact and smile at someone, i'm just friendly.

as a skinny chick, if it's not the guy interpreting that as a come-on, it's his gf trying to trident my eyeballs out with her nails.

my oldest daughter, nik, was too skinny for most of her life. she was diagnosed with anorexia syndrome - she had all the symptoms of anorexia but is not body dysmorphic - she knows precisely what size she is; she was 22 when they figured out it was actually asperger's. she is absolutely spot perfect when it comes to social interaction - she can literally walk down the sidewalk wearing two postage stamps and a cork and men will *not* touch her bec, as one young man explained it, "you just know you're going to pull back a bloody stump". nik will, in fact, look like she's wearing the absolute cutting-edge latest fashion from paris no matter what she's got on. her bff, a fat chick who got skinny, tried to dress just like her - even to wearing the exact same cropped tee and miniskirt - and had guys tossing coins into her cleavage and dropping stuff in front of her to make her bend over so they could snap up-skirt shots with their cellphones.

that's just how it is - there are different rules depending on which caste of society you are perceived as belonging.

Um...what?

When I was thin, I could prance around town in Uggs and yoga pants and nobody batted an eye. You don't have to dress up. I can wear a potato sack and no one bats an eye because I work it.

I've had plenty of great conversations with random guys (especially when I was thin because I had more confidence!) and I very rarely had someone touch me without my permission and if they did I could easily move away.

I smile at everyone because I'm a cheerful person. I've never had anyone take it as a come on and only a crazy chick would get pissed about it.

I don't understand the point you're trying to make...attractive people have to be *****es or they're going to get assaulted? Not so much. I have never dealt with the things you're saying thin people have to deal with. I am a perfectly pleasant individual and was very thin for a long time. Even now, I'm proportionate and still fairly attractive. Aside from the occasional person flirting with me, I deal with no unwanted attention. Even then I just flash my wedding ring and the flirters move on. It seems like you think without a harsh personality, pretty girl are asking for trouble and I'm a bit surprised at what you're suggesting.

jajomo0118
03-27-2012, 10:52 PM
I actually found the quote on a health club wall...and I stole it :)

TiffNeedsChange
03-28-2012, 12:31 AM
When I was think and model-esque I was literally TRIPPING over men... they threw themselves at me all of the time. I did get a lot of dirty looks from wives as well. As a thinner person I LOVED dressing up but also enjoyed goin out comfy.... the difference right now is that I can't wear clothes that I like, so I don't enjoy it as much... as for attention-I definitely still get hit on just not nearly as much. I am more comfortable communicating as a bigger girl with cute guys in a way becausethey are usually not interested.. so I can see conversations can vary... at the same time I feel uncomfortable while talking to cute guys because I am the fat girl. I think I ring skinny again will bring a different discomfort with interaction but I welcome it. I dislike knowing that my weight sets me apart in a visible way from other people in the room.

samu2
03-28-2012, 03:49 AM
I don't go out much, except for the school run so really don't run into many men. I get a few smiles and looks from people in cars, but they are probably being friendly LOL

However, I have noticed that other women are the ones who look at me differently. I wear nice clothes now, I do not look tarty, I am very casual but it is not unusual for someone to look me up and down and give me a funny look.

So I'm more self conscious around other women than I am men. I went from doing the school run being over-weight with my head held down wearing baggy clothes to a slim confident person who always looks her best and yes, I have noticed funny looks from other women ever since so I feel like I stick out even more now that I am slim than I did when I was bigger.

mammasita
03-28-2012, 06:03 AM
What is the environment that this "unwanted" attention is happening. My first thought was at a bar/club/pub. If that's the case....

men + drinking = rude/obnoxious

They will hit on what they think is an easy target. It's how you carry yourself. If we act like we know we're awesome and deserve better than the gross guy with the chest hair popping out of his shirt then it will happen.

moviegrl1737
03-28-2012, 08:27 AM
that's the problem, chunkey munkey: as a fat chick, i'm almost obligated to be "jolly", "warm-hearted", "nurturing" and all the rest of that crap.

you know - the "pleasant personality" - which i suck at.


I missed out on this when I was fatter. I thought when I was thinner I would have to beat them off with a stick but as it turns out I haven't had that issue. Maybe it's from years of mistreatment and my guard being constantly up, or I'm just not receptive to it. Or the fact that I am oblivious to people and almost always in my own little world so I don't notice. But either way hasn't become an issue, sadly.

ParadiseFalls
03-28-2012, 01:05 PM
What roxmysox said reminded me of when these (mstaken.com) came out.

Ms. Taken, it's an impressive-looking fake engagement ring that comes with a keychain case :lol:

Munchy
03-28-2012, 02:05 PM
If you don't want the attention a firm but polite "I'm not interested" is all you need. Then turn around and ignore the guy. If he's pushy, walk away. If he still persists, tell him he is making you feel threatened and if it continutes, you will call for help. It never usually gets that far though. In my experience once you say you're not interested, they back off.

Absolutely. In my early 20's I used to frequent some busy clubs/bars and have had uninvited hands on me. I've also reported it and had the people thrown out every single time, and I once called the police when someone grabbed me.

If someone is just talking to you because they like you, be polite and flattered, but make sure you say exactly what you feel. No need to lie or be mean to them.

meditateinmydirectio
03-28-2012, 06:23 PM
ok... I am a member of a dance community. It is normally always cool and friendly and like a "happy family" - sounds cheesy but that's how it is. However.... I showed up for class on monday wearing my new happy Red Skinny Jeans which I had just bought that day to celebrate my weight loss... and one of the guys there (who I thought was my friend and who is MARRIED btw and his wife is also in the community)

grabbed my boobs while he was dancing with me. full on grabbed and squeezed. and it happened twice.

sooo... you might say, hey he's a creep... whatever. but this is a guy I've known and been friends with for four years. he's always been nice and normal, and suddenly I hit 150 pounds and THIS happens.

so.

weird weight loss stuff. plus cute red pants.

?????

forgottenqueen
03-28-2012, 11:51 PM
All of these comments kind of scared me. I was going to start a thread about it but I don't think I will until it becomes an actual issue.

About five years ago I (accidentally) lost a lot of weight. I was about 40 pounds less than I am now, and even then, the attention I got from men went from being non-existent to kind of uncomfortable. If I went out I'd get lots of comments about my breasts (they're huge) and lots of rude guys hitting on me (when they weren't busy hitting on my much smaller sister) because I suppose they just thought a fat chick would be up for anything, even with a gross and unfortunate-looking guy.

Not true. I don't like attention at all. I'm reasonably attractive and so I guess I'm afraid that when I lose weight I won't know how to navigate the world as a "normal girl." I've been fat forever. I've never had to learn how. I grew up as a fat girl and I relate to people, especially men, accordingly. The lack of attention I get being so big is what I see as one of the 'pros' of being overweight. It's not that I'm not interested in finding a guy one day, I just don't want to be noticed and subjected to awkward social interactions. I hate it.

It's funny, but the bigger you are, the more invisible you seem to be. I suppose I'm used to that now.

OP: I don't know you at all, but I would say that if you're not naturally assertive then you really need to work on acquiring those skills. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or to invade your personal space. There are subtle things you can do to deflect unwanted attention (invent a boyfriend or an excuse to hurry off) but if a guy's just not taking the hint, that's his problem, not yours. Remove yourself from the situation. No one has an automatic entitlement to your time, so just remember that. Don't insist on being 'nice' when a guy's invading your space and making you uncomfortable.

I can totally relate.

Munchy
03-29-2012, 09:52 AM
ok... I am a member of a dance community. It is normally always cool and friendly and like a "happy family" - sounds cheesy but that's how it is. However.... I showed up for class on monday wearing my new happy Red Skinny Jeans which I had just bought that day to celebrate my weight loss... and one of the guys there (who I thought was my friend and who is MARRIED btw and his wife is also in the community)

grabbed my boobs while he was dancing with me. full on grabbed and squeezed. and it happened twice.

sooo... you might say, hey he's a creep... whatever. but this is a guy I've known and been friends with for four years. he's always been nice and normal, and suddenly I hit 150 pounds and THIS happens.

so.

weird weight loss stuff. plus cute red pants.

?????

Not "weird" that is ASSAULT! I hope you told him in no uncertain terms that he is never to touch you inappropriately again. I filed a police report for a similar situation, though it was the attendant at a gas station when I stopped in.

He's not nice or normal, and you should definitely say something about it and keep your distance. I would absolutely ream him in front of his wife and everyone else in the class, but that's just me.

Amy23
03-29-2012, 10:02 AM
ok... I am a member of a dance community. It is normally always cool and friendly and like a "happy family" - sounds cheesy but that's how it is. However.... I showed up for class on monday wearing my new happy Red Skinny Jeans which I had just bought that day to celebrate my weight loss... and one of the guys there (who I thought was my friend and who is MARRIED btw and his wife is also in the community)

grabbed my boobs while he was dancing with me. full on grabbed and squeezed. and it happened twice.

sooo... you might say, hey he's a creep... whatever. but this is a guy I've known and been friends with for four years. he's always been nice and normal, and suddenly I hit 150 pounds and THIS happens.

so.

weird weight loss stuff. plus cute red pants.

?????

I second Munchy here. That is assault, plain and simple. I sincerely hope you told him to f*ck off and to never touch you again, but if not then he needs to be made aware that you will NOT tolerate that sort of behavior. He obviously feels entitled to touch you (and probably whoever else tickles his fancy) and he needs to know that it is NOT on with you.

Sorry you had to go through that. Skeevey men... *shakes head*

Natasha22
03-29-2012, 05:48 PM
You just have to tell them in a firm, yet polite manner that you're not interested and after that completely ignore them. If you don't ignore them and try to reason with them they'll think they still have a chance. Now, if a friend assaults you, like in the situation you described, I think you need to have a serious talk with them. He can't get away with that simply because he knows you, that was a very aggressive gesture and unless you establish some boundaries, he's probably going to do it again.

DanieJo
03-30-2012, 11:24 AM
UGH I forgot all about the male population when Im fit.
There was a time in my life that I weighed about 135 (it was kind of a while ago lol) well anyways its like men were just animals...I dont understand it!

Im losing weight now but no where near that 135 that I once was, and I get a lot of less attention from the male animalistic species population (thank GOD, I do not miss that at ALL lol)

My best advice here is either ignore it, or dress more conservatively. You cannot control other peoples actions/comments and unfortunately thats just something that sucks.... :(

guichita
03-30-2012, 11:36 AM
Its interesting, when I was heavier I think I got more street harassment than I do now that I am lighter. I think part of it had to do with having a hard time finding bras and tops that fit my ample bust well, especially anytime I wore something stretchy or (on the rare occasions I'd muster the courage) a tanktop.

I think my look is pretty cute now, but necessarily modest, since I haven't had the money to buy lots of new clothes, and most of what I wear is pretty baggy on me. I like my fit body quite a lot, but it definitely is less voluptuous and sensual (to me). I am sure every woman's experience really varies with this.