Hi everyone, just need to share my feelings with others who understand because God knows, my friends don't seem to. I have always been the "fun one" in the group, the one who plans all the out
ings and such. Since starting this program 3 months ago, I have really curbed my social life as it revolved heavily around drinking. Many things still come up that can't be avoided and all I hear now is "you're no fun anymore" "when are you going to start drinking again?" I really feel like telling them that none of them are a bowl of cherries when not drinking either but apparently, it's my job to entertain. So right now, I sit here, dressed to the nines dreaded the night ahead because we are going to a club to celebrate one of the girl's birthdays. First, we'll get a table and order "appy's and drinks" neither of which I can partake in. Then, the tables get cleared away for an evening of dancing. Sounds fun, doesn't it? So, why am I sitting here wishing I could curl up with a good book instead? I am finding the weekends to be torturous and although I have not cheated and I have lost 40 pounds, I am miserable right now
I kind of understand how you feel. My co-workers go out to eat all the time for lunch and now that i'm OP, they feel like either i'm ditching them or not having enough fun. Even if I go, which I don't mind tagging along, all they ever say is "just one sandwich isn't going to hurt!" but they just don't understand how much it would hurt my diet!
I hope it gets easier for you and try to remember it's not forever! You'll get to go have fun again!
What do you do different when you are drinking than when you don't? I know when I used to go out I would just sip my drink and people watch, talk and cut up. I can "sip" my water, still people watch and cut up without the "drinks". Its about the company we keep not the "partying" we do with them. Tell them YOU are having fun and don't need to drink or eat to do that. You are enjoying their company and that is fine with you.
A former co-worker came in town a few weeks ago, everyone went out with her. I see a pic posted on FB and I left a comment, "why wasn't I invited?" her reply was...I didn't know you started going out again.....I then replied when did I stop? she said well since you can't drink anymore I didn't think you would go out ....I told her just because I am on a diet doesn't mean my life stops. My life doesn't revolve around food and drinks, its about having fun with friends, and enjoying myself. I do not need drinks and food to do that. She said I am sorry, I guess it was just my way of thinking because I know I couldn't do it without drinking. I told her everyone is different and that I am a very strong willed person. I can handle anything thrown at me so she said next time she is in town she will let me know. I doubt that they will let me know but now she knows how I feel. We make our choices, these friends of yours are grown adults and should act as such. Y'all aren't teenagers and there should be no peer pressure for you to do anything you don't want.Put a smile on your face, go out and have some fun...flirt with the guys (assuming you are single), shake that booty!....You have loss 40lbs BE PROUD of that, your friends are probably more or less jealous because YOU ARE STRONG and sticking to your guns with this program....TAKE PRIDE and SHOW YOUR STUFF!!....have fun!
Wow! What a shame they do not support you. I hope you can stick to your plan and not give in. I have avoided social situations too, since my former life pretty much revolved around drinking. I found it easier than I thought to not drink, although I am going away next week and will have to deal with it. Many of my friends don't know I am following this plan I have been drinking flavored water that has color so they don't realize it's not a drink. Do you friends need to lose weight? Maybe it 's jealousy.
oh!!!!!! i can't believe i forgot that little trick!
i used to offer to go order the next round - then come back with either a beer (in the bottle) or a "Radioactive" (glows virulent blue under black light).
the "beer" was ginger ale the bartender would pour into an empty, rinsed bottle, and the radioactive was 1pt ginger ale, 3pts tonic water.
You also have to be mindful of those that will sabotage you because you are no longer in the place you once filled. You are losing weight, probably looking hot. Either you are becoming the skinny girl of the group or you are no longer the fat one of the group. You're position has changed and so has theirs. They may not even be realizing it. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I have been there. One of my best friends and I were overweight together. She had lap band surgery and started losing a bunch of weight. I really tried to be happy for her because I love her, but there was a nasty person inside of me who was jealous and a bit bitter. I think I was successful in keeping that nastiness locked away, but I am still ashamed that it was there. And, really, it wasn't even about her, it was about my failures. I've noticed some of my friends are really happy for me that I've lost all this weight and some really aren't. I guess it's just the nature of being women. I say go out and have a great time, as long as you really are having a great time.
You also have to be mindful of those that will sabotage you because you are no longer in the place you once filled. You are losing weight, probably looking hot. Either you are becoming the skinny girl of the group or you are no longer the fat one of the group. You're position has changed and so has theirs. They may not even be realizing it. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I have been there. One of my best friends and I were overweight together. She had lap band surgery and started losing a bunch of weight. I really tried to be happy for her because I love her, but there was a nasty person inside of me who was jealous and a bit bitter. I think I was successful in keeping that nastiness locked away, but I am still ashamed that it was there. And, really, it wasn't even about her, it was about my failures. I've noticed some of my friends are really happy for me that I've lost all this weight and some really aren't. I guess it's just the nature of being women. I say go out and have a great time, as long as you really are having a great time.
I agree with you about the inner person. I was ALWAYS the BIG girl of the group and I am NOT anymore. My best friend (i thought) doesn't even speak to me anymore since I have loss weight. I have gone out of my way to go see her several times and she speaks to me but not like she used too. Jealousy is written all over her face, she looks at me and kinda just glares at me now. She says she is happy for me but I know she really isn't. I am WAY smaller than she is now and she can't stand that fact. When we used to go out she would always have the guys gawking at her cuz she always had her "stuff" hanging out while Me on the other hand was dress to the nine, sexy but conservative at the same time. I have always had a positive attitude where as she was always the "look at me type" but she always attracted the guys...go figure....lol...point is I AM and have ALWAYS been HAPPY with myself no matter what size I was/am.....She is NOT....BE YOURSELF and go have fun!
Exactly Wuv. I'm sorry your friend isn't being such a great friend. I can honestly say that my friend likely never knew I was jealous. I went shopping with her, brought smaller sizes to the dressing room, told her that those pants were too big, she needed a smaller size. I really was happy for her, really. I was just disgusted with myself. That was before I realized I had insulin resistance. I couldn't lose weight, no matter what I tried. I didn't want to have surgery, but here was my friend a walking billboard for lap band surgery. I think I just felt sorry for myself. No more!!! IP has been a wonderful thing for me. Thank goodness it corrects insulin resistance. No longer being the fat girl is a secondary blessing. I'm just so thankful to be healthy now, for me, for my family, for my friends too.
Tomorrow is my girls night out. My friends are pretty supportive, so I am lucky. One of them is trying to get pregnant and has stopped drinking, so I won't be the only one sipping non-alcoholic stuff (I plan to stick with water or seltzer, of course). My other friend is riding with me, and she will definitely drink, but neither one of us will have a problem either way. We are going for karaoke! I will sing sober... Wonder how I will sound to myself, he, he...
Bottom line... We will have a good time because we're doing fun stuff together. You need friends who can have fun regardless of drinking or dieting.
... This is my first girls night in a loooooong time. And I won't be the biggest girl for the first time. Reading the comments above, I wonder if that's going to make a difference - hadn't even given that a thought.
Hi everyone, just need to share my feelings with others who understand because God knows, my friends don't seem to. I have always been the "fun one" in the group, the one who plans all the out
ings and such. Since starting this program 3 months ago, I have really curbed my social life as it revolved heavily around drinking. Many things still come up that can't be avoided and all I hear now is "you're no fun anymore" "when are you going to start drinking again?" I really feel like telling them that none of them are a bowl of cherries when not drinking either but apparently, it's my job to entertain. So right now, I sit here, dressed to the nines dreaded the night ahead because we are going to a club to celebrate one of the girl's birthdays. First, we'll get a table and order "appy's and drinks" neither of which I can partake in. Then, the tables get cleared away for an evening of dancing. Sounds fun, doesn't it? So, why am I sitting here wishing I could curl up with a good book instead? I am finding the weekends to be torturous and although I have not cheated and I have lost 40 pounds, I am miserable right now
At least you are expressing you feelings, rather than eating them
Hi everyone, just need to share my feelings with others who understand because God knows, my friends don't seem to. I have always been the "fun one" in the group, the one who plans all the out
ings and such. Since starting this program 3 months ago, I have really curbed my social life as it revolved heavily around drinking. Many things still come up that can't be avoided and all I hear now is "you're no fun anymore" "when are you going to start drinking again?" I really feel like telling them that none of them are a bowl of cherries when not drinking either but apparently, it's my job to entertain. So right now, I sit here, dressed to the nines dreaded the night ahead because we are going to a club to celebrate one of the girl's birthdays. E whFirst, we'll get a table and order "appy's and drinks" neither of which I can partake in. Then, the tables get cleared away for an evening of dancing. Sounds fun, doesn't it? So, why am I sitting here wishing I could curl up with a good book instead? I am finding the weekends to be torturous and although I have not cheated and I have lost 40 pounds, I am miserable right now
I hear you. I was always the one who helped people wether I could or not. When I learned to better care for myself and started changing things, I had some friends that left. I learned to understand that my actual friends want what is healthy for me and are willing to understand that here are certain thing I had to change. Not to say that it wasnt tough to let go but I do believe the friends I have now are true, real friendships
Thank you everyone for your kind and excellent responses. I have to say the evening went better than expected. Everyone made such a fuss about how good I looked and I realized since I wasn't drinking that most of the other girls don't drink much either, they are all much thinner than me. My one friend who is heavier than me said I looked great and she was proud of me but she also said, "I liked you better chubby and funny why do you have to get skinny, I miss the chubby you." The main difference with my not drinking is that now I act more grown up when I go to clubs. When I used to drink I would make friends with everyone at the club, dance with strangers and not leave until the place closed, then drag everyone to a diner for cheeseburgers!! Ughh! Last night, I learned that most of my friends don't indulge in excess alcohol or food because they are all trying to maintain their figures. In fact, we had a very in depth discussion about kinesiology and nutrition and most told me to keep up the good work and hang in there because it was worth it. Also, alcohol plays havoc on your insulin levels! The best part? Weighed in this morning and had a loss of 3 pounds in week 12! Thanks again for all the support
Girls night's out
Feel some emotion
