General chatter - Explaining Periods to men...




View Full Version : Explaining Periods to men...


JudgeDread
03-14-2012, 02:00 PM
UG..SO yes I am moody. Got my period today........


However, I find that men seriously dig their own holes when you tell them you have your period.

So today I am off, so I cooked dinner for my bf. I text him and said to come home at 11. He rolls in at 11:20. The food has been ready since about 5 after. He KNOWS this pisses me off, period or not. I hate serving cold food or letting it get mushy and nasty. I have told him SO many times to be home when I ask or at LEAST text me and say he will be late.

But he rattles off crap about how he thought it was 11:30 and how he never gets done until 11:30...which is crap because he came home last Friday at 11. It just depends on if he is busy..if he is, fine but TELL ME! I even had to show him the text to remind him I said 11! He said OK to 11. Seriously!

SO to start I am annoyed. Then he tries to make jokes about it, which makes me even MORE mad. I hate it when men say "Oh your on your period" ECT...So my bf jokes "Oh I'm going to stay at my moms then" hahaha........yes VERY FUNNY.

So I flat out told him that just pisses me off more when he jokes about it. It's NOT funny.

Yes I know I am more irritable right now, but damn keep your stupid comments to yourself! Men should know by now that is stupid.

Worst thing is that a few of our biggest fights have happened when I am on my period, but it is in addition to drinking......SO it just amplifies my irritability and short temper. I will have to be careful not to drink so much when I am like this.

SO he left early back to work, he got all quiet after I told him it pisses me off when he makes stupid jokes.

I think he probably believes I am psycho and doesn't want to be around me right now, and maybe even mad.

I am crankier now :mad:

He could have just come home on time....

Any words of wisdom?


threenorns
03-14-2012, 02:04 PM
oh, how i wish i had them.

but alas, all i can say is "MEN!!!!!!!"

astrophe
03-14-2012, 02:27 PM
Yes. Do not cook for him.

There. Prob solved and less stress for you at period time. Eat yours when you make it.

He can make his when he finally rolls in and if you want to keep him company then it is stress free.

No keeping things warm
No phone nonsense
No comments about your menses pains when it is about his lack of courtesy

Because yeah period can raise the volume on irritable. But even not on period lacking the courtesy to call? It's still lack of courtesy isn't it?

Here I am making you a meal as a kindness and you can't help me out by calling me so I can get the timing right?

Ok...make your own meal then!

:hug:

A.


JudgeDread
03-14-2012, 02:31 PM
Haha I wish, but that probably would make it worse.

Now to top everything off, work calls me, on my day off. And now they want me to change my schedule AGAIN! I already had to split my days off because of their stupid crap...so I go in tomorrow to work a different shift...and have Friday off..which was nice because my BF has friday off too.

SO they call me and now want me to come in Friday morning instead. I'm thinking ( **** YOU, I am not changing my schedule again...) I told them I already had plans for Friday. And in the background I hear my ******* X- Field training officer say "BECAUSE WE TOLD YOU TO". **** you *******s I am NOT military and not your *****! GRRR

They can KISS MY BIG WHITE ***!

JudgeDread
03-14-2012, 02:32 PM
Sheesh they sure ban freedom of speech in here. **** **** ****. **** is just another word!

astrophe
03-14-2012, 02:48 PM
Yes, but kids and teens run around here too. So keeping it G rated is not a bad thing.

Why can't you just not make his meal? Bread, cheese, deli cuts -- there dude. Slap your own sammich together! Have cereal and milk. Whatever. Groceries are in the fridge!

Because if you weren't dating he'd figure it out right? Make his own.

A.

threenorns
03-14-2012, 02:53 PM
i went through the same thing - he'd never tell me when he'd be in (and being 20min late? oh, that would've been a dream!

he'd tell me his shift ended at 4 - then would roll in at 8 or at 2 and gripe and groan because i didn't have dinner ready. i would call him and he'd say "i'll be home."

"well... when?"

"*sigh* WHEN i get there!"

the last time i cooked a family meal, i actually got it right. i was just chillin' with the newborn and suddenly i thought "i need to get something going" so i cooked up what was a very nice curry according to the indian lady next door (after she tweaked it a bit) and some roti and i was just shutting off the pots when he walked in.

he came over, lifted the lid on the curry, sniffed it, curled his lip and said "no..... no, i don't feel to eat that.... i goin' down de road to KFC".

i threw it all in the garbage and when he got home (without any KFC bec he'd gone to the bar instead) and wanted to know where the food was, i told him clearly it was inedible so i'd disposed of it. then i told him he was lucky he didn't end up wearing it and, since he's sooooo picky about what he eats, he can do the cooking.

which he's done ever since.

krampus
03-14-2012, 02:59 PM
It sounds like no matter what he did, he'd be the bad guy. 20 minutes is not a big deal unless he does this all the time - yes it is annoying when you want it to work out and he said he'd be back, but things like traffic/being held up at work are known to happen. TBH it sounds like you're just really cranky and looking for a scapegoat...which I totally understand, sometimes I yell at random people or snap at loved ones when I'm feeling that way.

XLMuffnTop
03-14-2012, 03:49 PM
I'm a little confused. How would not cooking dinner for him make it worse? He is an adult and should be capable of surviving on his own. If you're out of town, in the hospital or at work I'm sure he manages just fine.

Our household has general expectations but everything is flexible. My husband usually takes out the trash and usually cooks dinner on days he doesn't have class. However, depending on the circumstances, I step in and take over those duties.

I guess I'm just scratching my head because your post seems as if you both work but dinner is solely your responsibility. Does he have things that he has to do and not you? Are chores and household duties divided evenly to satisfy both of you?

InsideMe
03-14-2012, 04:13 PM
That's why I'm gay....LOL

ok all jokes aside......men will never get it, nor can we make them understand, and you know why???

Because get this....they are MEN LOL

I say next time, tell him you cooked, let him come over and have nothing ready and say "Oh I told you I wasn't cooking" HAHA

XLMuffnTop
03-14-2012, 04:22 PM
I don't think playing a game around the situation is necessary conducive to a happy relationship. Why not tell him it bothers you when you expect him at a certain time and he shows up late. If this occurs, there are one of three options:

1. Stop cooking large meals.
2. Cook but eat immediately when its ready and put the rest up for left overs
3. Learn to deal with his lack of consideration and punctuality. Leave it out for him and he can have it cold and put it up in the fridge when he's done.

Be direct and unemotional. That's just the way it is. :shrug: If I tell my husband very directly A. bothers me it would be helpful if you could do B. It doesn't mean he'll always comply but he's much more understanding and responsive if he knows in bullet points what the issues are and how they can be resolved.

Remember, he's a person too and I'm sure there are plenty of things you do that bother him whether he's communicated them or not at this point. How would you like him to resolve them with you?

4myloves
03-14-2012, 04:43 PM
Here's how I explained it to mine:

Ok, you know how a hen acts when she's laying an egg? All loud and cranky and you can hear her all over the farm and you'd better stay away?

Well, when I have my period it's because I'm a woman and I lay eggs. Unlike the hen, my egg takes 3-4 days to be "laid" (I didn't get into the technicalities--like the egg was already laid, just passing along because of no fertilization)--so for 3-4 days, imagine that I'M that LOUD, CRANKY hen that will peck the **** out of you if you get near me and my EGG.

Ok, Ok, I know that's not what you wanted, but it is how I explained it :)

JudgeDread
03-15-2012, 09:12 AM
He does a lot around the house. He actually cleaned the other day, and he has been spending most of his time on the weekends building our porch and deck..so he does do a lot. I haven't been able to cook much lately because of my shiftwork..so I wanted to see him and cook for him during his break. He even cooks for me sometimes, but it's my personal pet peeve to have food ready and not serve it immediately. I guess that was how I was raised. Thing is his mom would always cook and end up reheating it several times as family members would come in and out at different times. So it probably isn't big deal to him so much. He was just thinking I wasn't taking into consideration he "can't" be there at exactly when I want him to be every time. I told him to call or text, but he uses the driving excuse......I get that he can't always be here at this time but he could have called before he left (he knows how long it takes to get from there to the house).

So yeah it's done and over and I just have to remind him that I get my feelings hurt quickly when I am on the nasty ol period. I don't know why, I normally have very thick skin and am not quick to get mad...stupid *** hormones. It is really annoying.

I just needed to vent cause I felt super *****y.

MiZTaCCen
03-15-2012, 09:31 AM
LOL oh our periods I'm completely psychotic when I'm on mine.
But be thankful it was only 20 minutes. I have a friend who waited around for 3 hours for her douchey boyfriend to come hang out with her. 3 hours! We come to realize his "a bit" means a couple of hours and if he say's he'll be there in "a while" means she's just not going to see him that day. LOL

I agree with you though I hate people who are late. You tell me you're going to be here at this time, you better damn well be here at that time! If not have some common sense to friggen text me you're going to be late. Men are just...ugh they don't think at all. lol (at least not the moron's i've been with)

JudgeDread
03-15-2012, 10:13 AM
I know lol....He is usually pretty good about it all, but I think he thinks it's too much to expect him to be a time ****. 20 mins is a long time for food to sit out, and again he is used to eating reheated food...me, not so much unless it is leftovers for a later meal. That has a lot to do with the veggies, rice, or pasta that I cook as it can get overdone quick!

Satine
03-15-2012, 10:33 AM
I know this sounds gross, but my dh never got it until I said "well imagine you bleeding from your butthole for 5-7 days while it cramps...would you be in the greatest of moods? " haha ...after that he understood ...

JudgeDread
03-15-2012, 10:41 AM
I know this sounds gross, but my dh never got it until I said "well imagine you bleeding from your butthole for 5-7 days while it cramps...would you be in the greatest of moods? " haha ...after that he understood ...

LOL so true. I thought it was funny when Mr Garrison on Southpark says "I don't trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die".....LOL

CrystalZ10
03-16-2012, 06:30 AM
It sounds like no matter what he did, he'd be the bad guy. 20 minutes is not a big deal unless he does this all the time - yes it is annoying when you want it to work out and he said he'd be back, but things like traffic/being held up at work are known to happen. TBH it sounds like you're just really cranky and looking for a scapegoat...which I totally understand, sometimes I yell at random people or snap at loved ones when I'm feeling that way.

Okay so if he rolls in at 11:20 a times and 11 at other times, than don't have dinner waiting for him ready to eat. Have it either cooked by 11:15 or still on the stove when he gets home.

My husband does the same thing. Sometimes he's home early by 4:30 or he won't be home till after 5. I just have meals ready at random times and he knows that its just luck of the draw having food ready when he gets home without telling when he's off.

Has he demanded that his food be hot and ready when he gets home? If he doesn't care than just don't sweat it.

Major points though for trying to take good care of your guy! They don't always make it easy for us do they?

You are going to have to check the employee manual or your state labor laws about your job situation though. In California your boss can work you all they want as long as they pay you overtime after your 40 hours. If they are always taking your days off from you, than maybe you need to look for another job?