My bingeing has gotten particularly bad lately. I suspect it's from a combination of increased hunger from distance running, stress about starting a new job & life in a new place this summer, and having very little to do at the moment - but I am not so interested in the why as in getting it to stop! Hah. I am not overweight, but if I continue like this, I'll be well on my way.
Part of what disturbs me so much about this behavior is that it feels so alien to who I am - or who I imagine myself to be, if that makes sense. I have always been a fairly disciplined, hard-working person, and the binges feel almost like the manifestation of a demon, or mental tumor. So I had the idea for a new approach: Whenever I start to binge, or feel the urge, I'll say to myself, Bingeing is not an option. I don't do that. What can I do instead to deal with the [hunger/stress/anger/sadness/whatever] that's making me want to binge?"
I'm putting this out there mostly to see if anyone else has tried something similar with good results, but also as an idea for anyone who might find it useful.
I find that a lot of hard-working, disciplined people binge. That might be one of the reasons why its done in private-because we know that its "wrong" and not a quality that we want to show to others - this lack of control.
In fact, many of the hard working people in my office have really really unhealthy diets and complain about it, and still continue to eat that way, it could be because it gives a quick fuel, and because it gives them a release because they have to work so hard to be perfect.
I tried doing various activities to keep myself from binging. Eliminating trigger foods help, but in the end, I just simply tell myself No, and don't even try to do any activities but just sit there and just face the pain. I find that my emotions are stronger, but it makes me realize what is overwhelming in my life and I find that I am better at problem solving because the problems feel so much worse without food to aid me (and I never even knew that the food aided me till I stopped the binging). I just let it out-I cry or write about it or whatever I want to do and sometimes I think of ways to make my life better and other times I can't think of any.
Thanks for your thoughts + encouragement, guys. Pixelllate, that is interesting about your co-workers. I believe my anorexia (in my teens) was driven by similar impulses - inability to deal with feelings, release from stress, etc. Interesting how these behaviors seem so different yet share such similar triggers.
I'm thinking about this a lot today ... another realization I had is that I continuously keep trying things that historically have NOT worked for me, simply because I think they "should" work, or have worked for other people.
Some things that DON'T work for me:
- Saying "I want to eat x [unreasonable # of calories] for the next x days to make up for a binge" (or "just in case")
- Trying to lose weight in anticipation of an event or on a fixed schedule
- Buying foods that I know are triggers to overeat (peanut butter, anyone?)
- Not eating at all in the first half of the day to "save up calories"
- Thinking exercise can cover the multitude of my dietary indiscretions!
- Obsessing about my tightening pants
...and some things that HAVE worked before (hmmm, maybe I should try those??):
- Eating small meals throughout the day - and having a definite "time to stop eating" time
- Staying active & on my feet throughout the day - not giving myself too much "sitting time"
- Doing something nice or reaching out to another person when I want to binge
- Wearing comfortable clothes that FIT - especially skirts
- Engaging my mind with things other than food & weight - world news, other people's lives (not in a gossipy way!)
- Eating minimal added sugar
Man, this is hard! I feel like I'm moving backwards, and what's the point in trying? But I guess the alternative is to get even more sluggish and miserable as the days go by, huh?
Are you sure you are bingeing and not just overeating? They are different things... I think that we overeat to comfort ourselves a little, but bingeing is a form of self-harm, because it makes us feel sick and we still do it. That is why I came to believe that to stop bingeing we need to enjoy spiritual (or psychic, your pick) health...
What do you think, people?
Inglesita, good question. I characterize my 'episodes' as binges because of the haste and out-of-control feeling that always accompanies them, regardless of the amount consumed, and the extreme guilt and lethargy that follow. If I were to sit down and eat a big meal to comfort myself, I would see that as overeating, but I rarely even sit down to meals (which is probably the #1 reason I binge, obviously). The main challenge for me is to acknowledge that my body NEEDS steady nutrition throughout the day and I don't have to "earn" my meals through exercise or restriction.
Do you, or did you struggle with bingeing? Can I ask what's helped you?
I used to binge all the time. It freaking sucked. Literally, I would be at a goal weight and I would lose myself and in 2 or 3 weeks be back where I started. Granted, that's about 10-15 lbs but that is WAY too much to be gaining in one month. I would blackout and just GORGE on anything that was in sight.
I haven't binged in a few months now. I'd say maybe 4 or 5. How? I allow myself indulgences. I don't deprive myself anymore. I try to be mindful when I eat. I try to eat slowly. When I feel like I might have a binge coming on and I feel this sense of losing control might be coming on if I don't stop, I stop myself and think "This is not going to make me happy. I will eat this and want more RIGHT as soon as I finish eating it. None of it will make me satisfied. I will not be satisfied with eating this. Starting will only make it harder to stop." and i think and I just stop.
I allow myself indulgences. I don't deprive myself anymore. I try to be mindful when I eat. I try to eat slowly. When I feel like I might have a binge coming on and I feel this sense of losing control might be coming on if I don't stop, I stop myself and think "This is not going to make me happy. I will eat this and want more RIGHT as soon as I finish eating it. None of it will make me satisfied. I will not be satisfied with eating this. Starting will only make it harder to stop." and i think and I just stop.
I love it. very well written and healthy advice to me! needed that. thinking about the benefits of not overeating, and the consequences of overeating.
We're all different. Forever giving up the experience of "eating until I'm stuffed" is not a viable option FOR ME. So far I've been successful (both during weight loss and maintenance) incorporating a few planned binges into my regimen -- I'm talking once every two months or so. These binges usually occur during holiday meals or at buffet restaurants. I PLAN to eat 3,000 to 4,000 calories and prepare by eating a little less than normal the week before, so it's all good.
...incorporating a few planned binges into my regimen -- I'm talking once every two months or so. These binges usually occur during holiday meals or at buffet restaurants. I PLAN to eat 3,000 to 4,000 calories and prepare by eating a little less than normal the week before, so it's all good.
For me, even if I plan a binge ahead of time, it's incredibly difficult for me to get back on track. Once I let myself go, it's really hard to gain the control back and a binge day usually ends into a week. I try to steer away from those at all. If you don't have to do it, don't.
Once I let myself go, it's really hard to gain the control back and a binge day usually ends into a week.
I used to be the same way. For some reason it's different this time. I guess I've committed to the ironclad rule of getting back on track the next meal, and so far I've been able to do it.
Inglesita, good question. I characterize my 'episodes' as binges because of the haste and out-of-control feeling that always accompanies them, regardless of the amount consumed, and the extreme guilt and lethargy that follow. If I were to sit down and eat a big meal to comfort myself, I would see that as overeating, but I rarely even sit down to meals (which is probably the #1 reason I binge, obviously). The main challenge for me is to acknowledge that my body NEEDS steady nutrition throughout the day and I don't have to "earn" my meals through exercise or restriction.
Do you, or did you struggle with bingeing? Can I ask what's helped you?
My answer: I binged from the age of 8, more or less, to last year after Christmas. By bingeing I mean sneak eating, in large amounts, till nothing edible was left, and even past the certainty that I would be sick afterwards. I ate even food I did not like much, in any order, and could not stop will I emptied the container. I was 47 in November last year, and for some reason I started to acknowledge how I felt and embrace the feeling rather than try to forget it. Whenever I felt a craving I stopped to think why, and took care of the feeling rather than eat: if I was frustrated at a difficult task, I stopped for some minutes and did something else; if I found myself overworking, I took a break; if I was bored, I changed the activity and did something I liked; if lonely, I just acknowledged the feeling and tried to learn to live with it. And so on.
Foodwise, low carbs for some weeks helped me not crave sweets and flour... The combination of reflection and low carbs made the miracle of not bingeing for two months and a half now. We have a thread going (March binge-free challenge) where we share our failures and successes. Hope to see you there!
If I could make it, you can too.
Last edited by inglesita64; 03-15-2012 at 01:09 PM.
I was obese as a child/ teen and started restricting the summer before my junior year. (I was starting a new school) And a very unhealthy, addictive pattern of starving (sometimes no more than a few saltines a day) and binging was born. My weight has yo-yoed between the same 30 pounds for almost 15 years. Once or twice I looked for help for the binging, but secretly I wanted to perfect the starving because that's when I was thinner.
Last year I finally commited to heal from all disordered eating, and I'm no where near done. I, like you, consider myself a very disaplined person. (I'm a runner too BTW ) Binging seems so out of character for me as well.
Here's what I have learned:
To stop binging, you need to stop restricting. This was / is the HARDEST part. If I binge, restricting the next day "purges" some of the guilt and anxiety that goes with the binge. It took me almost a year of learning to go back to a normal calorie amount after a binge.
Stop exercising to "purge" a binge. I use the word purge because I personally don't purge the typical way, but purging is about relieving the anxiety and guilt (This is the real pyscho babble of eating disorders and I've found for me it rings true) I had to make my exercising about the exercise, NOT something to cancel out binge calories. So I started running. I felt like I had no goals at the gym, and it was always about weight loss. With running, my goals are about time, distance, races and whatnot. Running is its own hobby. I run if I binge. I run if I don't.
I used a Eating disorder App on my iPhone, called Recovery Record. Its great. That was my diary. It helped me really see the where why when and feeling of a binge. I recommend it.
I treated myself like I would a patient, or a diabetic. I weighted and measured my food (still do) because I do not know how much to eat. I chronically under eat, or over it if left to my own intuition. I've tried intuitive eating many times. And either the crave to binge takes over and I eat way to much; or the guilt takes over and I don't eat enough. I remind myself that I am sick even though no one can see it, and only I am responsible for my recovery.
I am careful to pair a protien with every meal/snack, even if that means a few almonds. I do not eat fruit or sugary items without a protien. Even ice cream, when I have some, I put walnuts on it. I have learned that a sugary food (banana) will lead to a binge on it own. Most likely from the fact that sugar foods (fruit or candy) lead to a spike in blodd sugar then a drop. A slower digesting protien or healthy fat helps to keep blood sugar more even. I found this helps me tremendously.
I eat 6 small meals. This has help SOOOO much!!! This is my main action that keeps most binging away. My breakfast, lunch and dinner are small - medium, and I have a mid moring snack, mid after noon, and after dinner. I eat between 1300-1500 cals a day.
I eat when I'm not hungry if its my snack time, and keep the snack small. Sound counter productive, but really it helps me stay on track the next meal. This also means I eat MORE during the first half of the day. My personal binge/starve pattern is that I barely eat all morning, and early after noon, then go crazy in the evening. Making sure I eat enough all day really helps. So I'm not allowed to "cheat" by having a 100 calorie breakfast and a 600 cal dinner, or "save" calories for a binge. I've tried that, and it leads to failure for me.
I've ideantified my "danger times", For me the first one comes up around 3p-5p. This is when I start grazing and it can easily turn into binging. I try to have my after noon snack around 2:30p-3p, before the need hits. If I'm still looking for food, say at like 4pm, I have dinner early. Waiting until the set dinner time, leads me to a binge at dinner. After dinner is rough time for me too. I plan a snack.
I don't make any foods off limits. BUT I keep binge trigger foods out of the house as best I can (I live with my husband and kids). I buy one portion, if I want it. (I buy single serving of ice cream, the tiny cups, because if I get a pint or half gallon, I will eat it all. In one night.
I've started therapy to help figure out the underlying issue that might be at play here.
I hope this has helped. I found that I needed to change my mind set to treating myself as a recovering patient to really make progress. When I was still caught up in the weight loss I wasn't able to break free from the cycle. Don't get me wrong, I want to lose this weight, but for now I've set a very slow weight loss goal, so I can focus more on my recovery rather than losing weight.
GlamourGirl - I know this is a cliche around here, but I felt like I was reading a transcription of my own mind. Our stories are nearly identical. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply (you too, inglesita, sensual, and freelance!) It's very heartening to hear that you've come such a long way in your recovery. A lot of the strategies you mention are ones that I've contemplated but not really implemented - but maybe now is the time for that.
When I was anorexic, part of the treatment was that food was medicine, but I hadn't really thought about using it in the same way now. Interesting idea - can't hurt to try it, huh?
Thanks again
P.S. Do you run races? I just ran my first half-marathon and LOVED it!
Jewcy, I did my first 5K last year and want to do a half marathon this year. I have 2 young kids, so that kind of training time might not happen, but I am hopeful! Last fall I was up to 8 mile long runs, but over the winter I was a slug. I ended up being diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyriod disease, and I'm on meds now and feeling much better, but I went nearly 2 months with almost no running, so I'm dealing with a huge set back since I was relatively new to running to begin with.
Wow, I've been feeling so lost on this site until I saw your post. It's amazing that we are all so similar. I especially liked this list:
Saying "I want to eat x [unreasonable # of calories] for the next x days to make up for a binge" (or "just in case")
- Trying to lose weight in anticipation of an event or on a fixed schedule
- Buying foods that I know are triggers to overeat (peanut butter, anyone?)
- Not eating at all in the first half of the day to "save up calories"
- Thinking exercise can cover the multitude of my dietary indiscretions!
- Obsessing about my tightening pants
That's me. All me. What's with peanut butter? I've decided not to even buy it anymore. Once I start eating it, I just can't stop. I'm doing WW and haven't binged yet. I'm trying to remind myself that if I eat something bad, I need to recover from that the very next meal. That's the hard part: coming back from the bad foods. That's the only way I'll ever maintain a significant amount of weight loss. I have to be able to recover from the binge before I do even more damage. I'm 36 and this doesn't seem to be getting easier. I've been struggling with this since age 11. And I have more than 100 excess pounds to show for it. So sad that I'm still struggling to this day...
"Bingeing is no longer an option" - thoughts?
) Binging seems so out of character for me as well. 
