General chatter - Rant it out instead of eating over it...




Alexistrophic
03-12-2012, 04:54 PM
I just need a bit of a moan.

Just saw via fb that a distant acquaintence got engaged. Made me want to sit and stuff my face into oblivion. There's that little green monster gnawing away at my insides, imagining what a wonderful life she must have. It's irrational, I know. Everyone has their own problems, I know, but right now I wouldn't mind having some of what it looks like she has, you know?


EagleRiverDee
03-12-2012, 04:58 PM
What part about it bothers you, specifically? Are you worried about losing your friend, or wishing you were engaged also, or...?

I think envy is normal, but definitely something that should be reined in, just because it's toxic. But venting can really help with that, so vent away!

astrophe
03-12-2012, 05:06 PM
What is it that you think she's got you are missing out on?

A.


Alexistrophic
03-12-2012, 05:30 PM
Oh, it's definitely the "getting married" part. For sure. I don't even really know her; we just met randomly at a party last year. I think I'm more coveting what I imagine her life to be like. She's talented, smart, good with people, fun to be around, has a great job living in Boston... and now, she's engaged to a tall, smart, friendly, fun to be around guy.

I'm taking steps toward these things in my own life: trying to get out more, meeting new people, taking proactive steps in my own career, but I think it's the "NOW" factor that gets me. I want this or that thing that she has RIGHT NOW, and I can't have it. But you know what I can have? That piece of (fill in name of comfort food of the hour).

I'm figuring out that what I could probably use are other, healthier things that I can do right now. So I can't take a two hour long nap, but I can do 50 sit ups and work toward those washboard abs. So I know that's the way out of this vicious cycle, but darn if sometimes I don't want to just go window shopping in other peoples' lives.

EagleRiverDee
03-12-2012, 06:05 PM
I get that. I do. There will always be people that have so much more than we do- money or looks or a good job or the right guy.

One thing that helps me is to remember to be grateful each day for what I do have...and to pray that everyone else would be as fortunate as I am or more. I have all that I need and more. I list those things, and try not to take them for granted.

PinkLotus
03-12-2012, 06:13 PM
Just try to remind yourself that no one's life is perfect, and everyone has problems. She might have some problems that you would never, ever want to have to deal with!
I have a friend who portrays this perfect life on FB - she and her husband had a beautiful wedding, they travel the world, they have nice cars and a huge house and are always doing fun, amazing things. But behind the scenes, I know that they are on the verge of divorce because he's been cheating on her since before the wedding, that he's lost his job because of something really stupid on his part, and that all of their possessions were purchased by her parents, and not by her and her husband.
So just something to keep in mind...I know what you mean though, sometimes it's hard not to feel a little jealousy!

Alexistrophic
03-12-2012, 07:21 PM
Just try to remind yourself that no one's life is perfect, and everyone has problems. She might have some problems that you would never, ever want to have to deal with!
I have a friend who portrays this perfect life on FB - she and her husband had a beautiful wedding, they travel the world, they have nice cars and a huge house and are always doing fun, amazing things. But behind the scenes, I know that they are on the verge of divorce because he's been cheating on her since before the wedding, that he's lost his job because of something really stupid on his part, and that all of their possessions were purchased by her parents, and not by her and her husband.
So just something to keep in mind...I know what you mean though, sometimes it's hard not to feel a little jealousy!

Ha... Is it wrong that this lifts my spirits a bit? *evil*

I know that I've been blessed beyond belief. No question. But sometimes it just helps to remember that not everything is as it seems...

There's a saying "Don't judge your insides by someone else's outsides" and I know this is true... Just have to be honest about how I'm feeling sometimes, though.

Thanks, guys. :)

Serval87
03-13-2012, 02:08 AM
I know how you feel. I get so jealous when I look at my cousin's pictures. In her pictures, her husband and she are always doing the most amazing things: hiking in the woods, seeing fun places. Then, I have this friend-turned-acquaintance with her 100s and 100s of pictures of her husband or friends and she taking huge road-trips and what not. They always look like they're laughing and having the best time ever.

....I'm always bored, ALL the TIME, so these really make me feel bad about myself. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything at all, but then I remember my wonderful husband, a loving, close-knit family, all the free time I have, and my talents (however few they are. The same cousin mentioned above once asked if she could ever get musical lessons that would enable her to sing like me, so that made me feel pretty good). I spend a lot of time feeling jealous and being self-loathing, that I actually forget there are good things about me. lol.

XLMuffnTop
03-13-2012, 11:36 AM
Aye. Few people post the nasty side of life on Facebook. I have my BIL's wife on FB and she's just over the top. It's gushy over her husband, her kids, non stop. Life is just one rosy world. She's not really like that, in fact, I'd say she's normally not but it's what she wants to show to the world so ... meh. I've just hidden her posts so I don't see them.

Also, I understand the envy, I understand the impatience. I call this the Veruca Salt complex. "But Daddy! I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!!!!" She's by far the most annoying character in all of Willy Wonka for a reason. :) I may feel like that sometimes on the inside but I keep it in check and try not to voice it lest I sound like Veruca.

Alexistrophic
03-13-2012, 05:40 PM
Serval ~ Ahhh, that "hide" button... It is too oft underused in my facebook life.

XLM ~ I think I'm gonna keep that "Veruca" image... because that's exactly what I feel like sometimes. I don't realize just how funny it is, I guess. "I'm sorry, you want a what right now?" There are times when my inner adult forgets to raise an eyebrow at my inner child...

free1
03-13-2012, 05:49 PM
FB is where you go to tell the truth to strangers and lie to friends :)