General chatter - Did you make friends AFTER college?
02-26-2012, 08:05 PM
I'm about to graduate college and I made really good friends/roommates here, but sadly, I don't really see us as "true" friends that we'd end up keeping in touch with in the real world. Did you make friends at your first job, or are all those people's best friends from childhood/college? I'm just worried because I am a social butterfly now, but after graduation I will be a hermit in the real world. If anyone wants to share their experiences, that would be great!
02-26-2012, 08:22 PM
I'm about to turn 40.
I didn't keep in touch with my college friends. I have 2 best girlfriends from high school that I've kept in touch with, I live near one now, the other lives across the country but we still consider each other best friends. I made friends at jobs, I made friends at networking events, I've made new friends through other friends. You definitely can continue to build great friendships after college!
02-26-2012, 08:25 PM
I graduated in May and moved across the country (and my two best friends moved other places). I made friends really quickly even though I'm painfully shy because I moved into a house with people my age, became really close with one of them and am now friends with her friends. I don't hang out much with people from work, mainly because when I first met them I was usually busy with my other new set of friends and missed the boat on getting close with them. I'm terribly introverted, so if I can do it, anyone can ;)
02-26-2012, 08:25 PM
I kept very few college friends... Just the girls in my sorority and my roommate. I made friends afterward as well. I guess it just depends on how much you put yourself out there.
02-26-2012, 08:42 PM
i only have 1 friend that i still keep in touch with from college. very few from high school. most of my friends are from a job i started 5+ years ago.
my husband is currently in grad school, and i live on campus with him. i'm starting to get to know some of the folks here too.
02-27-2012, 12:38 AM
I left college when I had my daughter after jr yr.(over 8 yrs ago) It was hard keeping in touch with them since I was 2 hrs away with a baby when they were all partying their hearts out. We all kind of drifted. It wasn't until recently that I got back in touch with them through Facebook and now we have been making plans to get together starting in 2 weeks.
I have several friends from hs and even elementary school who I am close to, but a bunch of my friends came from different jobs and through other friends. As my interests and life experiences changed, so did some of my friends. I even became close to the parents of some of my children's friends.
Don't worry about it. As you evolve, so will everything around you, friends included. There will always be people in your life and those who survive--the ones that not only are always there for you, but the ones that you can pick up then phone and call years after separation and have that connection--will be the keepers.
02-27-2012, 02:45 AM
My best friends from college and even high school are still my best friends to this day. I have a few general friends where I live now, but definitely not as much as when I was in college. When you get in the real world you don't have as much time to spend with other people.
It also greatly depends on what kind of job you're working. I work at Olan Mills and only have one coworker, who I love dearly, but we don't hang out, outside of work.
It can be rough at first, but I've gotten used to it.
02-27-2012, 05:21 AM
I've moved around A LOT after college and have been able to make friends everywhere we lived. It normally takes me about a year at a new places before I make good friends. I also keep in touch with some of my college friends and a few in high school too.
02-27-2012, 05:47 AM
I made a number of very close friends after college, mainly through work and my fiance's work. The place where I worked for two years after graduating was a medium sized (120 employees) organization with lots of young people. It really positively impacted my personal and professional life- work was a very vibrant, fun place and I socialized a lot with coworkers after hours. I still keep in very good touch with many of my friends from there, though I have moved away.
A friend of mine worked at a very small firm with only two other employees in their 20s. He found work very dull and struggled a lot with meeting people. He he really yearned for college with all of its ready-made social scenes and opportunities to meet people.
Not to say that work is the only place you can meet people, or that you should pick a job solely for social purposes. But if you aren't the type of person who is likely to make friends at the gym, the place you volunteer, or the park near your apartment, the social opportunities potential companies/organizations could provide may be a factor worth considering as you accept job offers.
02-27-2012, 07:31 AM
I am not graduated yet, but my friends from college all are (I am taking a bit longer). Even though we live a bit apart, we see eachother once a month or so.
But I made friends on different places, I am active in youth politics where I made a few really good friends over the years because we are all on the same page in so many things. I also am on twitter a lot, and this is a small country so before you know it there's this circle of people tat all know eachother through twitter and a mutual interest in politics/tv shows and we meet up.
I don't have many superduper close friends like you do in highschool. My friendships are all different. With some of them I'll travel, with others I'll go out for lunch once a month and with others I go study in the library. I like it that way. I never get bored, and I never get annoyed by people because we try to do stuff together that doesn't match.
I am sure you'll be fine. But you won't meet people if you go out to a job and stay at home the rest of the time. And it's not guaranteed that your coworkers will be your friends. I've had a few jobs that lasted atleast a year and nowhere have I met people I call my friends.
02-27-2012, 03:55 PM
Yes, most of my friends after high school I made through work, not college. However, they usually die off if someone changes jobs, they don't have the permanence I would wish for in a friendship. Right now I have very few friends and am going through a sort of paradigm shift on how I think about friendship. I've realized I've really let my friends use me and I've been too forgiving of them ignoring me. I've decided to start letting some of these friendships die off, because they are one-sided and that I would rather be alone for a while than being the only person in a friendship making any effort. It hurts, but it's just how it is.
02-27-2012, 05:09 PM
I had very few friends in college. After college most of the friends I made were through work and through group activities like judo and amateur radio. I'm in grad school now, but I've kept in touch with very few people from undergrad or high school beyond occasionally "liking" a status on Facebook.
You'll make friends after you graduate. The job is a good place to make work friends, but you can also make friends through participation in an organization, whether it's something to improve yourself (like a fitness class) or to improve your community (like volunteering for a cause you support). Religious activities seem to be a good way of making friends too, if you're into that sort of thing.
02-28-2012, 09:54 PM
I am 46 and could not imagine being friends with someone I knew 30 years ago, I just imagine we would grow out of touch. I am not the same person I was 5 years ago let alone 30 years ago. I have close friends I met at work and at graduate school. I went back to graduate school 4 years ago.
03-02-2012, 12:37 AM
My best, best, best friend I met in college, but have also made some great friends at some of my jobs since then. I have found that as I get older the amount of friends I have doesn't matter as much as the quality of the friendships I have. My best friend and I talk or text each other just about every day, but we may only have time to see each other a few times a month.
03-02-2012, 12:53 AM
I have lived long enough to know there's at least 3 friendship types.
There's the friends of geography. So long as you live/work in the same area, you can be friends. Maybe not after you leave the area.
There's the friends of age and stage. So long as you are in the same life age moments (student, pregnancy, whatever) you are pals. Maybe not after you move to the next life stage.
There's friends of the soul. Friends like this are more rare, and no matter the location, age and stage, whatever. You click on a deeper level. They can leave and come back into your daily life or never daily again but just a call or a card -- and you pick back up like you never were apart. I am lucky enough to have married one, and then I have another who I have not seen in person since I don't know when. But I know it is SUPER rare to find TONS of this type! So I remain open but do not expect EVERY friend to be this type.
All friendships matter, and give your life colorful experiences that enrich you. I'd enjoy them all regardless of friend type and just be open for the new folks that flutter into your life next.
My post college friends that I like best I made via church and volunteering. Work not so much. I was a telecommuter. :D