First of all, I'm sorry if I seem whiny, I think I'm pmsing.
I've been having a really hard time getting motivated lately. There's a lot of stress is my life right now and exercising always makes me feel better, but I've been having such a hard time pushing myself to just get started. I haven't exercised in days, nor have I really eaten very well (not terribly, but not great) and I'm really starting to feel like a failure.
I should be completely motivated because I'm working towards a goal weight for my wedding/ honeymoon in September but I hit a speed bump and I feel like I've stalled out. I didn't lose for two weeks and I started to panic, and then I started feeling like it was useless because I was never going to get to my goal in time anyway.
I tried working out with my fiance and, while I know he has the best intentions, he makes me feel like I can't do anything. I tried working out with him but he does every SO fast and so intensely that if I even try to keep up I feel like I'm going to pass out. I tried playing soccer with him but he's too rough- I just wanted to run around kicking the ball to each other and have fun with it until I was more able to/comfortable with running more and he kicks the effing ball at me as hard as he can every single time. I spent more time dodging him and the ball than I did doing anything else. I got a football because I like throwing around footballs.. and I can't play that with him either. He throws so hard that my ribs hurt when I catch the ball - that is NOT fun or effective. I got a frisbee because we both like frisbee and I was actually having fun running around playing it with him but he's not very good at throwing one, so he doesn't want to do that anymore.
We have an elliptical and I was doing that in the mornings, but since I started my new job on Monday I already have to get up an hour and a half earlier than before and I'm having a REALLY hard time getting up any earlier to get on the elliptical.. and by the time I get home I'm either so tired/sore I can hardly move or everyone is home and I don't have a chance to get on the machine because either my mother in law is on it until after I have to go to bed (I have to get up early so I have to go to bed early) or because no one will just give me some time to myself for long enough to exercise.
We're moving into an apartment with a really awesome gym and lap pool (to finally get out of my in-law's house) at the end of March, but I really can't wait that long to kick-start myself. What should I do? I feel so stuck and so defeated. I've been losing sleep over how guilty I feel for falling off so much. I was doing really well when I was emailing a little support group a few of us formed but they've all kind of drifted away and now I don't really feel like I have anyone to talk to.. which makes it all that much more difficult.
I just don't know what to do