40-Somethings - Evil Eye!
02-18-2012, 09:18 PM
For a long time I was able to silently plod away at my weight loss without people noticing anything different about me. Now, I am at the point where people definitely notice that I have lost weight and they ask me about it all the time.
I now feel under so much pressure to stay on plan and keep losing, because it would be super embarrassing for me to regain the weight now that people have made such a big deal about my loss so far. Also, I feel like some people are jealous and do little things to sabotage my efforts. I wish I could go back to people not taking notice of my weight loss efforts - perhaps if people get used to seeing me thinner, they won't take notice as much anymore?
Am I the only crazy one who is afraid of the "Evil Eye?"
02-19-2012, 09:24 AM
Well, you're not the only one that's crazy. :D I can't tell you how to feel, and wouldn't if I could, but you should really revel in the attention. One of the things that I'm working on for me is to not worry about what other people think. Just do my thing. I am what I am and I'm working on making myself better.
Weight is a very personal issue and one that absolutely has no bearing on any one else. We all do it for our own reasons. Some do it to look better/for the attention, some do it to be healthier, and there are those out there that do it to avoid attention. Honestly, there are people out there that notice fat people in a negative way. Whatever the reason, people around you will either support you, or not. There are those that have pigeonholed you into a certain category and for whatever reason it is based on how you look. Once you start breaking out of that, these people become uncomfortable since now they don't know how to "handle" you. It's up to them to figure it out and not put that on you. You stick to your plan for your reasons. People will get used to seeing you thinner and it will take some time. You don't need to put any more pressure on yourself. You just keep doing your thing.
02-22-2012, 05:32 PM
Guac..my culture believes heavily in the evil eye...in fact I remember my mother pinning amulets to my under shirt when I was a little girl and I did the same for my son. A little overboard.....but unfortunately human nature is such that people are not always happy for us when something good happens or is happening to us. People are always out to get us....Try not to worry about what people are saying or thinking...focus your energies on continuing your weight loss efforts. When people make a big fuss over your weight loss try and just downplay it..just say "I'm trying" and let it go at that. Draw attention away from it. That is the best way to divert away from the evil eye. Like Andrew says there is enough pressure put on us without putting more.
03-24-2012, 11:26 PM
I know how you feel. I had been waiting and waiting for people to notice, and now that they are noticing, I am getting irritated with them! Be careful what you wish for, huh? :)
I worry about regaining too. Wouldn't be the first time. There's another girl at work who talked a lot about how much she lost and how often she goes to the gym (funny, I didn't detect much difference). I hadn't seen her for a few weeks, then I was in a training session with her. There was candy on the table, and she snacked on it throughout the day. They may be miniature and bite-size candies, but a whole cup of them adds up. Then she ate lunch, and then more candy and a granola bar. It did look like she was heavier than I remember her too.
I worry that will be me. I still have 70 lbs or so to go, but people are coming up to me and saying "hey skinny!" and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I know I'm not skinny, and I just worry so much about going the other direction...
03-24-2012, 11:39 PM
why worry? you have two options: keep on keepin' on and remain at your smaller size or say "damn the torpedos" and go back to your larger size.
i did that twice - being small wasn't worth the awful pressure, particularly since i suck at the social thing anyway.
03-25-2012, 12:23 AM
I've experienced sabotage from some family members. I hate it because I try to help them with whatever goals they have and I'm not asking for support, but please no sabotage!
Its a good thing you post it now, so you are aware-if you are caught unawares-which may happen with those who normally don't get critical except when you lost weight, you might fall for all their criticism and be back to square one.
I don't have a plan yet but if people say something, I am just going to act like I don't care-nothing more annoying than getting a dismissive reaction lol. I thought about being more confrontational/open, but I don't want to look like I am so vulnerable that if they keep on goading, I will give in-that's happened before. I just say that I am healthier now - in reality, health and vanity motivate me, but its not worth arguing that lol, esp if its people like my immediate fam, glad I don't live with em but I'm not going to 100% avoid them.
I just think "You hate my current size? Where are YOU going to be when i cry in the dressing room again? Where are YOU going to be when the doctor is worried about my high blood sugar again? Where are YOU going to be when I have to put away my clothes because I can no longer fit into them?" I just think that I can defend my body all I want, but thats only if I want to do it-if it was really a concern about health, why did they not say anything when I ate ice cream for breakfast?
I use it as a self reminder that I am losing weight for myself, which makes me feel even better.
I also think "I have no choice if I want to lose weight". The only way to avoid the attention is to either regain the weight or go back in time and to have never been overweight in the first place. I can only control how I project myself, but if people are still haters thats their problem. Just remember the only way that people can sabotage you is if they force feed you.
03-25-2012, 10:09 AM
The other issue now is that the food police are out in full force. My husband is particularly bad about this. He seems to take pleasure in "catching" me eating off plan foods. He'll make sarcastic comments like, "Oh, that's really low carb!" or "I never knew (insert food item here) was low calorie!" Even though I tell him that I don't count calories on Saturday or that I work into my plan treats or that I planned on being off-plan for a special event meal - he still seems to delight in calling me out. Of course, this brings on guilt, and I feel bad about eating whatever it was, even though the healthier thing is for me to allow myself treats and not feel guilty - it's worked for me so far! Anyway, feeling like I messed up makes me want to chuck it all and eat more! Sabotage.....
03-25-2012, 03:17 PM
GRRRRRRR I know what you mean. Sometimes I think that some people think that weight loss makes you a Cinderella in her ball gown-and they forget all the sweat and tears it takes AND the weird identity crisis that you feel. And they feel the need to "knock you off your high horse" by making jokes that are borderline "supposed to be funny" and just plain insensitive.
Don't feel guilty, maintenance is HARD. and these are good maintenance habits you are picking up. Learning how to eat to maintain or continuing to lose, its very hard to adjust the way you've been eating for many years. I find that defending yourself too many to people can fuel the flames and just makes the comments worse =( I just say that "I eat what I want and its not that" lol.
03-31-2012, 09:22 AM
I try not to think about what others say or think about me. I have felt some sabotage along the way, but I know what it is and that makes me stronger. It has taken me a long time to realize that I am doing this for me, to look better, feel better, and be healthier. I am not going to lie, I like the flattering attention that I get and it makes me want to not go back to the way I was. My point is that you can use the evil eye to keep you going strong or you can let it make you weak.
03-31-2012, 09:44 AM
i'm at that stage with Himself, too - for *years* he used my weight against me. now that i'm losing it, he's swinging wildly between support and sabotage - one day he's preparing a perfectly diet-friendly meal that can be enjoyed by the whole family, the next day he's doing some stupid act with a box of pringles ("mmmm... doesn't it look tasty? bet you wish you found that earlier, don't you?" and so on - laugh last on him: they were 3 months stale-dated).
yesterday, i told him i'd taken out salmon fillets (NOT cheap!) to defrost and i was planning on planking them when i got home from work. i get home from work and my cedar has been taken out of the water and left to dry (they have to be well soaked before you can cook with them for obvious reason) and he'd gone and made very diet UNfriendly barbeque chicken, buttered corn (couldn't even have left it plain!), and mashed potatos and had a hissy fit when i cooked the fish anyway because he'd already made dinner.
an hour later, he shows me a listing on ebay - six containers of teh shake i use for what i pay for two - "it's a good deal - you should get it".
i can tell you what will happen: i'll get it and then he'll whine for a month about the money "wasted".
change is hard - ppl don't like it when you break out of the comfie little box they've plonked you in and they REALLY hate it when you start pulling off and rewriting labels.