I know you guys have always encouraged me with your words, and your experiences but it's getting harder these days.
I am back here after 1 and half year, gained 30 lbs and feeling unmotivated.
How can i get started? I just can't do it any more. I know i should take it one day at a time, choose a plan that suits me, exercise.
But that's not the point, i just can't get started. I am addicted to food more than i did in my whole life. I am not sure what's going on but i just love food and i don't have any will to do something about it.
But i can't leave things as it is and i have to start doing something. HELP!
02-17-2012, 07:55 PM
Check out the Regainers Relosing thread. We are all where you are, having regained, and trying to get back to where we were!
Well, there's a lady here that says this often ... that Motivation will get you started, but COMMITMENT will carry you through; and that is one of my favorite mottos, becuz it's true!
In your case, you lack motivation .... so you need to jump right up to just making the DECISION TO COMMIT to help yourself live healthier each day. For instance, say this:
I commit to doing my best each day -- and that's it.
We all love food, but we can't use that as an excuse not to try. You don't have to be perfect either -- that is a stumbling block that people put in front of themselves a lot, and then they use that as an excuse to quit trying.
This challenge must be seen as a long-term lifestyle change, not a short-term thing that starts or stops based on how you feel at any given moment (thanks Resolute). So, QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION ...
How do you get started; you just live ... there is no beginning and there is no ending ... so, now that excuse is gone too. You just get up and do your thing. Plan what you are going to eat tomorrow just like you might plan what clothes you are going to wear; and then just do it!
And who said you couldn't eat foods you love? If you use a portion plan, a calorie plan, or WW -- you can always eat the foods you love -- within a set amount of servings, calories, or points. You're only restriction: is how much you eat each day. It's that simple.
Now some days will be better than others; some days will be great; some will be off; but that doesn't matter. Life isn't perfect, so what do we do? We don't give up; we don't lay down and die -- we keep going, we keep living, and we continue on ... that's all there is to it. There's no big secret.
You can do that ... live the steps and live in between the steps; enjoy your food; enjoy your life, while getting healthier too. I agree with PATCH; join a group here that can give you special support; the Regainers Relosing Thread in the Support Groups Forum would be a good one for you ... :hug:
02-17-2012, 08:26 PM
I'm telling you. Just stop the sugar. Somehow... Just resist the urge... Eat a lot in a day, but make it all proteins.. Get a burger, but take off the bread. Eat whenever you get the urge to eat, but stay away from the sugars... In a day or two, you will feel the sugar urge ease up and you can start eating less overall.
02-17-2012, 11:01 PM
Take everything one day at a time and start with one part. Maybe commit to drink more water each day and move forward from there.
02-17-2012, 11:52 PM
Not that long ago I felt the same way. I was happy to eat myself fat and didn't care what I looked like. Then I saw myself in a dressing room mirror and really saw what I looked like. By not losing weight I was giving up on myself. So I set a date, cleared the junk out of the house or ate it, bought in healthy food and snacks, and started a daily diet journal. Five weeks on I've lost 6kg, am starting to fit back into my old clothes and I feel good about myself. It would have been easier to eat how I was and stay fat, but I'm so glad that I didn't. By setting small goals I've been able to keep going.
You've lost weight before, I'm positive you can do it again.
02-18-2012, 01:45 AM
When I started this time, I didn't have the strength or energy to do it they way I always had (and as it turns out that may have been a good thing).
I decided that I had to start somewhere, and to keep from being discouraged, I decided to take weight loss off the table and out of the equation. I decided that I was going to make some healthy changes in my life, but only the ones I was willing to commit to FOREVER, even if no weight loss resulted at all.
I set mini-goals and rewarded them (even resorting to a silly sticker chart). I bought a pedometer with a step-counting function and clipped it to my shoe (to make it harder to forget to wear, and less likely that I'd put it through the wasy). Every day I tried to exceed the previous day's step count.
The only weight goal I made (at first) was to not gain weight. That way, I got to celebrate most days.
Whenever the new habit because "easy," I would add another small change. When the weight finally started coming off, I changed my goal from "not gaining" to "not gaining, and trying to lose, just one more pound," but always reminding myself to celebrate "not gains." And even when I did gain, I remembered and forced myself to celebrate the loss that I was maintaining. Which I still do today.
For example, if I gain a pound, I don't punish myself for the failure, I celebrate the 104 lbs I have kept off. Usually whenever I gained, even a little I would think "I've blown it, I'll never succeed, if I'm going to gain anyway, I might as well get to eat what I want...."
By focusing on the "not gaining" part, I was never tempted to throw in the towel, because I didn't want to give up the success I'd been rewarding myself for. If I was celebrating having lost 25 lbs and had a gain, whether it was 1 lb or 5, I wanted to be ble to continue celebrating at least the weight I was still keeping off.
I really think that weight maintenance has to be made a higher priority. Sometimes we act as if, only perfection "counts." A gain, even if it's small and could be temporary discourages us so much we give up. But, if you're celebrating the changes you HAVE been able to make (whether or not they yield the results you were hoping for) I think it makes it easier to keep making more.
Success breeds and motivated more success, so you need to find a way to feel successful. For me, that meant eliminating weight loss expectations (because I was never able to live up to my expectations, no matter how reasonable I tried to be - I had to eliminate the expectations all together, and as a result weight loss became a reward and "bonus" rather than something I set my success and sense of worth upon).
I also highly recommend the books
The End of Overeating
Refuse to Regain
Primal Blueprint (or any paleo diet books, such as The Paleo Solution, Neanderthin, The Paleolithic Prescription, The Paleo Diet....)
There are a lot of others that have helped me along the way, but these three books were "epiphany" books for me. They helped me realize that I wasn't failing because I was lazy, crazy, or stupid - I was failing because I was focusing and spending my energy in unproductive ways.
Refuse to Regain was perhaps the biggest eye-opener, because the realization that "refusing to regain" should have been my strategy all along - with the very first pound. Because if you lose one pound and refuse to regain it, you've lost one pound. Which doesn't sound like much, but lose another pound and now refuse to regain two pounds....
You still will see occasional gains, but if you refuse to see them as permanent, you will eventually pound by pound get to goal.
In the past, only goal-weight mattered to me. If I thought I couldn't get to goal weight, I decided the entire effort wasn't worth it. Now my motto is "every pound counts, every pound matters. Every choice counts, every choice matters," so even when I can't be perfect, I do the best I can (even when my best sucks."
I used to believe the adage, "anything worth doing is worth doing well," which I often interpreted as "if you can't do it perfectly, don't do it at all."
Now I remind myself that "anything worth doing is worth doing, even crappily."
Growing up, I often heard adults say "if you can't give it your all, don't waste your time," and I realize what I wish they had said is "if you can't or don't want to give it your all, give it what you've got - and if you've only got a little, then give that little bit."
I used to believe that the only way I could lose weight, was by giving up absolutely everything else of any value in my life. I stopped going out with friends, I didn't date, my job or studies suffered, it was if to lose weight I had to have a one-track mind. Then when the weight loss slowed, I had absolutely nothing in my life. No reward from the scale, no pleasure from work, friends, or hobbies. I had to learn to incorporate weight loss into my life, rather than let weight loss become my life.
I also stopped looking at weight loss, diet changes, exercising as ways to punish my fat, nasty self and had to start looking at them as ways to pamper my glorious self. I started shopping for healthy food the way I used to shop for shoes and candybars. Instead of buying the cheapest fruits and veggies, I started looking forward to trying different fruits and veggies. I splurged on healthy condiments, on exotic fruits...
From the time I was 10 or 11, I always wished that I could go to a fancy weight-loss spa, and then I realized I could bring the spa to me. I could punish myself healthier/thinner, or I could pamper myself healthier/thinner. So I started treating myself as my own spa client. What would I do to pamper someone else in a healthy way? I could do it for myself.
Another helpful strategy for me, was coming here every day, and joining TOPS (you can find local meetings at tops.org). I needed an in-person weight loss group, mostly for the accountability of the weekly weigh-in, but also the support from other dieters, and the opportunity to win prizes, awards, and recognition for weight loss).
Not everything I've done will appeal to you, so I'm not suggesting you do as I've done. I'm suggesting that you find ways to make this journey as fun and pleasant and rewarding as possible. Reach your goals by pampering and rewarding yourself and you'll never by tempted to quit.
02-18-2012, 05:49 AM
Since I know all this is overwhelming I'll just put in my little two cents
1) cut out all fast food first if you eat it a lot, ugh this was SO hard for me but two weeks later and I don't even crave it at all :)
2) drink 1/2-1 glass of water when you get hungry or crave something, sometimes after 10 min of drinking it you will realize you were not hungry at all and if you still are you maybe only need a small meal or snack
Hang in there :)
02-18-2012, 11:35 AM
I just can't do it anymore ... I just can't get started ... I am addicted to food ... I am not sure what's going on ... and I don't have any will to do something about it ...
Wow, there's a lot of frustration there. You need a new point of view: an adjustment on how you see yourself, and this WL challenge. I really believe that our weight is a reflection of how we see (or don't see) ourselves & our life. We need to look into the "Mirror of Our Life" -- and see what is really going on there.
"By not losing weight, I was giving up on myself" ~ Happybug
Do you love yourself? Do you like yourself enuff to put in the time, energy, and effort to get healthier? Do you love yourself more than a cookie, a french fry, or a chip? Can you accept that you must eat less, for the rest of our life?
Self-discipline is a learned habit: that takes practice; and habits need time to form well. BABY STEPS: when a baby learns to walk, he first crawls, then props against objects, then he hobbles, and sometimes falls -- in time, he improves and can go further and further, until he walks tall.
New Self-Image: there is always HOPE, for each new day brings with it, another chance ... to do better!
This Weight Loss journey is the same -- and what is our hope: that we CAN do whatever we believe we can!!! :D
02-18-2012, 12:11 PM
I recommitted after a check up. Go get one with your doc.
Get checked where your vitamins and minerals are. Esp iron, B12 and D -- being low there can sap energy.
Since you feel "addicted to food" also get checked for insulin resistance. If you are fighting blood sugar wiggies it isn't that you don't have will power. It's that you have health issues to address.
I know that feeling of not being able to stop, practically INHALING food and not being satisfied. Usually it comes with scarfing up breads, cookies, crackers, and so on. A lot of high GI starches.
you need to learn to not eat the trigger ones, and pair the ones you can eat with a matching protein. You will feel better and not so crazy around food. Check out the Insulin Resistance diet (http://www.amazon.com/Insulin-Resistance-Diet--Revised-Updated-Fat-Making-Machine/dp/0071499849/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329584597&sr=8-1)from the library.
If this also stems from emotional eating, check out Life is Hard, Food is Easy. (http://www.amazon.com/Life-Hard-Food-Easy-Emotional/dp/0895260573/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1329584644&sr=1-2)
Next? Clean the kitchen. Get rid of junk on the counters, make sure you have the cooking supplies you need -- spatulas, knives, whatever. It's hard to prepare meals if the room is untidy. Make sure you have measuring cups and/or a kitchen scale to measure your portions accurately.
Next? Keep a good food log with NO CHANGES for a week or 2 weeks. Just measure and log to get into the practice of that. Learn this skill first and just maintain.
Next? Review the log and see what patterns are showing up and what changes it suggests. Maybe it is cut back on calorie drinks with water or celestial seasonings teas to save the calories there. Maybe it is something else.
Next? Start taking a short walk, or do a DVD or whatever it is that you do for exercise. You don't need to kill yourself. Just something doable.
Take this in tiny steps.
02-18-2012, 12:29 PM
I really don't have anything to add, I just want you to know that I understand the frustration of finding what works. I hope you find what works for you.
02-18-2012, 12:29 PM
I'm a lot different from others on here, but I've had success too, and for the first time in my life.
I "committed" to a diet every Monday of my life it seems - didn't get me anywhere. "Plans" annoyed me - as soon as someone said I can't have XYZ the spoiled brat of a 2 year old still in me said Oh no?? just watch me! LOL and that lead me to the 323 number on a scale.
It's easy to blame everything on an addiction and throw your hands up in frustration and say "it's not my fault". But you aren't addicted to FOOD per se, you're addicted to that behaviour. The easy fix, the instant fix. I had to do some therapy with a counsellor to discover WHY i was 323 pounds - it's not just laziness, or 'letting myself go', there had to be something behind it. It wasn't scary, just honest. Nothing bad had ever happened to me, I was just a spoiled indulged child masquerading as a 40 year old LOL
Once I got to the root of THAT, the rest was easy (ish!). I spent a few months living a diet of what I wanted, except no McDonald's. Some weight came off. Then I thought 'hmm how about if no ice cream for a while" and then I tried another thing and another, always stopping for a while in between to be sure I could live with it long term.
When you're tired, heavy, defeated, angry, bitter and resentful about all the crappy choices that have lead to this point, it's easy to sink under and never be heard from again, but it's also just as easy to say NO once, just to ONE thing, ONE time. Then do it again. And again. Each time it's easier.
Nobody's way of losing weight is "The Way" it's individual for all people, once you can find something that gives you a spark, you're all set!