01-31-2012, 07:11 PM
So on a recommendation I am reading the well known "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." I am a little burnt from my marriage and thought it would be a good thing to read. LOL. ( I am a HUGE nerd.) Anyway, I was curious about your opinions on it. Do you agree with the premise? Have you heard/seen evidence that this is how men actually think/operate??? I read the first few chapters and got annoyed with it. I am going to go back at it tonight but thought it would be entertaining to see other people's opinions on it!
01-31-2012, 07:35 PM
I read the book and talked about it with other couples....While I didn't agree with everything, I can tell you I heard from many married men and women that the book was incredibly accurate in many respects.
For me, not all of it applied to my husband. However, a lot of it did. The information about men needing their cave (hope you got to this point) and their interpretation of what we say was great. I remember the analogy about messing with the dragon and that the cave experience was necessary for the dragon to interpret what he truly wants or feels (and not blow up because he needs away time). I also learned a lot about how you can wound at a vulnerable time....If I remember correctly, he mentioned that the worst time to point out flaws is when a man has made a mistake because then he's most vulnerable. I have found that changing the timing of my approach has worked wonders. I had to confront the "problem now, address it now" approach.
I can tell you a lot has worked for me and made my marriage and our communication better. Especially the communication part. However, I don't think the book helped me resolve any issues...it just mentioned how to deal with them better. I think the book also taught my husband things about how to better deal with me and interpret my language.
I don't think the book would have helped when I had more major unresolved issues in my marriage (not infidelity but work related/travel stresses, etc.). I think I would have rejected the book then because it talked a lot about understanding HIM and how to treat HIM better. I didn't need to hear that at that stage. When we resolved those issues (and he got a new job which didn't make me play the single parent), I was ready to move past the feelings and actually think how do I make it better instead of how do I resolve my feelings.
My two cents.....