Weight Loss Support - *Vent/pity party*

View Full Version : *Vent/pity party*

01-31-2012, 09:58 AM
So, I'm in a wedding in June & had to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress yesterday. I have been wearing an 18 jean, XL shirt, XL dress...so I knew it was going to be a large size, but she measured me at a 20. For some reason I was devestated, even though I know they are sized crazy, but just that it was the biggest I've ever been. She had me try an 18 and it was pitiful .... Squeezing myself into it with her soothing me and trying to not make me feel like an idiot. She was soo kind & kept telling me to keep up my hard work and we can.always take it in ... But I just felt so low. I remember TWO years ago, not even, trying on an 18 wedding dress and it was huge. Mine was a 14 and now I'm in a 20?! Uhhh. Just needed to vent. Might I also add, the other girls are between a 4-10. And, I had to pay extra for the larger size!! I left feeling so discouraged and upset, but also determined to have to gave that sucker taken in when it comes in!! :):)

01-31-2012, 10:06 AM
Please don't feel so low. I know it is easier said than done in that respect, but I have definitely been there as far as being the biggest in a crowd of normal to small sized people or being devastated at going up another size. You are doing great, and I hope you do keep up your hard work because keeping up mine has sent my self confidence into an all time high. A year from now, you'll be back into a smaller size (probably much smaller) and you will look back on this and smile because it was just part of your journey. Try and be happy with where you are now, even if it's only a stop on the way to your destination. Life is way too short to only be happy at a certain weight.

01-31-2012, 10:22 AM
Ugh. I've been exactly there years ago. I was around 22 at the time (I'm 36 now). And I was with my friend (the bride) and the other bridesmaids who were all thin. And they told me in front of everyone that my dress would cost more than the other ones because I was bigger. My friends mom was really nice to the poor college student and paid for the extra. But I was soooo embarrassed. The sad thing is that that wasn't the largest size I'd end up being. I'd kill to be in that size now. I ended up gaining about 40 more pounds. :( So I say good for you that you're taking notice now and you're going to work to getting into a smaller size. I wish it had been a wake up call for me, but I was in avoidance mode at the time. But I know how you feel. Those moments in life do suck. But as you know all we can do is keep moving forward. :)

01-31-2012, 10:29 AM
Dresses run weird, so if you're a size 18 everywhere else I wouldn't worry about it too much. You usually need to size up and get it altered anyway :)

I know how you feel though :( I remember going to dances and feeling like I was a whale in my dress. I wore a nice dress in freshman year of high school, a size 11 and I felt big then! I tried it on just two years later and I couldn't even get it on! I was mortified. I had to buy another dress for junior prom and wound up having to get a size 18 dress for prom!

Back in May 2010 I tried on the size 18 dress (and it had been altered to fit me, so it was probably a little smaller than an actual 18) and it was tight in the bust and fit fine in the waist/hips. I attribute that to lifting (and the fact that I had gone from a C to a D cup), but I was still really upset about that! I wore it to my college senior formal and I felt huge again because of that.

Now I can happily say that the size 18 dress is far too big on me to even consider taking in and while I haven't tried that size 11 dress on in a while (which in today's sizing is probably a 7/9) it fit me perfectly months ago, so I'm assuming it's too big now :)

You'll get there! The days they have to take in that dress you'll have a giant smile on your face!

01-31-2012, 10:36 AM
Sometimes it's crazy what difference a few pounds make. I was in my brother's wedding in 2008, and a few months ago I tried on the dress and couldn't zip it! The difference is about 10-15lbs and it doesn't sound like much, but it sure was embarressing as my bf was trying to zip me up, and then the zipper broke...:(

01-31-2012, 12:09 PM
Oh its okay! I know it could be depressing.. but you know mentally that at some point, as long as u keep working on it, you'll be much smaller then a size 18-20.. thats you right now, but one day, you'll be much more svelte.. just keep yourself motivated that you WILL and CAN be smaller ;-)

01-31-2012, 12:18 PM
Aww man - I swear the sizing on bridal party attire is meant to drive you out of your mind! Remember the number is just a number and you're working on getting healthier and that's all that matters!

01-31-2012, 12:36 PM
Don't let that bridesmaid dress size get to you. :hug: Bridesmaid dress shopping was actually my last straw last spring. I was wearing size 20-22 in jeans, and I had to buy a size 28 dress. Besides the "fat chick" surcharge, I was also going to need alterations to make the dress drape properly over my big upper belly. I started my weight loss journey on April 16, and had my dress fitting in mid August. Well, it needed alterations, but it was to cut about 4 inches out of that gown!

Keep up the good work, cut the size tag out of that dress if it bothers you, and have it taken in. Don't let the turkeys that make the dresses get you down!

01-31-2012, 12:40 PM
I've so been there. I'm tall also, so for us tall girls I think we get into those bigger sizes pretty quickly. (I was still a size 16 at my lowest adult weight of 213 pounds... and that's only 20 pounds away from my goal weight!). I think personally I'll be a size 14 at my goal weight.. possibly a 12 (since sizes have changed a bit in the past 10 years) but that's it. So if you think in terms of your height, and what your ultimate size will be... 10?? you're not SO far off. I mean, you're never going to be a size 4 like some of the smaller women on here, so a 20 in that perspective isn't so terrible. Not that you're going to stay there, and not that you like it either! ;) But think of it this way; this probably won't be your last time in a wedding party, but it WILL be the last time you'll have a size 20 dress!

Keep going - you'll do great! Can't wait to hear how much they're going to have to take in that dress by June! :hug:

01-31-2012, 01:21 PM
Honestly you girls made my day. You really helped me put this in perspective & think differently. This is me now. But not forever & at least I'm working on it. Thanks so much! You saced me from a binge!
Kirsten, that's such a fresh way to look at it! I don't think my bones would fit into a size 4 ;)

01-31-2012, 01:23 PM
I think those formal dresses are sized much bigger... I'm a size 16 now... I was up to an 18 but just barely... my size 16 stuff is loose on me and I can fit into a 14 but not in a flattering way lol.. I wouldn't actually leave the house in any of my size 14 clothes yet.. BUT... I'm going on a vacation in April where I will need a formal dress, I said oh no problem I have a size 14 formal dress from a few years ago that I only wore once and is gorgeous... I tried it on the other day just to see how much progress I was making -- I swear that thing is a size 10 if not smaller... I can put on every single piece of size 14 clothing I have, and button it up, just can't breath in it.. and the size 14 formal dress will barely go over my back side and forget about even thinking about zipping it up...

Try not to focus on the number and just try to focus on making some progress so they will have to do some major renovation to make that dress smaller to fit your new bod ;)

01-31-2012, 01:25 PM
And, let me add this ...
I'm so thankful for each and every reply on this. They all really touched me and brought me out of my funk. Thank you so much :)

01-31-2012, 01:25 PM
Man, do I know where you're coming from. Bridal wear is just NOT forgiving. A few years ago I was in a wedding, and at the time I wore a comfortable size 18- from my measurements, they ordered me a 24! I almost sunk into a giant heap on the floor right then and there, but I felt better when I had to have it altered substantially (I lost a little bit of weight, but not enough to substantiate the whole alteration, the dress itself was kind of oddly proportioned). Don't feel bad! You will probably have to alter the heck out of it between now and June. :hug: