Weight Loss Support - It all went downhill fast...help??
01-30-2012, 06:46 PM
I started out two weeks ago really strong. I had a very good week making good choices and eating smaller portions frequently throughout the day...and then I went to my boyfriends for the weekend! We are both in school and work all week and only get together on the weekends. He cooks sooo good but incredibly unhealthy and always fills the plate. He likes to treat me on the weekends and always cooks my favorite (very bad for me foods). He says he wants to spoil me and make sure I have a relaxing week off because I work so hard during the week but Its not good for me! This happened two weekends ago and then I couldn't get back on track on monday and totally lost my momentum. How do I find a happy medium between his food habits on the weekend and my doing well during the week??
01-30-2012, 07:06 PM
In some ways, you are so lucky to have a man who cooks for you!! BUT, could you let him know that you would also appreciate some tasty *and* healthy food? If he loves to cook, I bet he'd enjoy the challenge of adapting his recipes to make them conform a bit more to your plan. Even if the meals are not *completely* on plan, they'd be less off-plan.
And, maybe you could go lower-cal (or lower-fat or whatever your plan is) on Fridays and Mondays,to compensate for those two luscious, loving days.
There will always be times, for all of us, when we slip up -- a birthday party, a night out with the girls, a frustrating day when you just come home and -- !!! Well, you know : ) You just gotta get back on track, and in the long run, it will work. Remember, we are in this for the long haul: a healthy LIFETIME.
01-30-2012, 07:32 PM
If he wants to spoil you, have him spoil you with healthy food!
I find when I eat bad it spirals into more eating bad. That's why I can't do treats once a week like others do. If you are like me, you may find it easier to skip indulging on weekends completely and try having him make you healthier options.
01-30-2012, 07:35 PM
I know where he's coming from because I love to bake things for my boyfriend. I come from a family where food = love.
You'll need to convince him that he can show how much he loves you by cooking something healthy. If my boyfriend were on a diet, I'd start cooking all kinds of his favorite veggie dishes and such. You sort of need to re-train him, so to speak. ;) Broccoli instead of brownies. Mangos instead of mac&cheese. :)
01-30-2012, 09:14 PM
Eating the food others gave me is something that I struggled with, but ultimately realized that I must be responsible for my own food choices.
If your boyfriend fills your plate, you do not need to eat all of it. If you want him to cook healthier things, you must tell him. There's nothing wrong with eating something you like on the weekend though, and as I said you can still enjoy a smaller portion of it :) This is coming from someone who still occasionally eats fast food and pizza after all!
I've found I've had to become very strict with what I eat and be "rude" if I have to. If I don't want something, I say so. I don't really care if I hurt someone's feelings any more. Being polite is what got me up to my heaviest and is what kept me obese. I'm done being polite and just eating food to make others feel better.
01-30-2012, 09:23 PM
He sounds wonderful, but I agree that you have to get him to make some changes. You don't say if he is watching his weight. That can have impact on how he cooks and eats, and how he expects you to eat. And, of course, if this is how it's always been, it's a habit he has to break, we all know that isn't easy!
If you don't tell him, he won't know. If you want him to change, then suggest that you think ahead and prepare on plan meals you'll both enjoy together.
Good luck with this one. I'd have a horrible time getting back on track, so I hope you can figure out how to fix this so it doesn't mess up all the hard work you do Mon - Fri.
01-30-2012, 09:32 PM
Sounds like your man is "loving you to death". You need to pull up your big girl panties and stand firm with him. This is your body, and you need to call the shots when it come to what goes into it. You can't use his "loving" as an excuse to keep falling (and staying) off the wagon. What you choose to eat is NOT his fault.
You have choices. You can tell him that he can "love you" by giving you long back rubs or foot massages. He can love you by brushing your hair or buying you some lotion or nail polish. All these things are free or much more inexpensive than a pound of butter. You need to tell him now, before it gets out of control. Some guys want to keep their women heavy because it is less of a threat to them, but some keep feeding their woman because they are co-dependant enablers, and do it because they they don't know any better. Tell him so he'll know, but don't blame him for your poor food choices. You call the shots.
I think it is fantastic that he wants to spoil you. Maybe talk to him about getting healthy and he could spoil you with fruits and veggies instead?
01-31-2012, 12:20 PM
Sounds like he's a great guy and he wants to do something nice - talk to him about your efforts. He'll probably want to spoil you just as much by cooking lighter, healthier on plan meals!
01-31-2012, 12:22 PM
Maybe the two of you can peruse some healthy cookbooks or cooking websites, and he can either cook something for you or you can both cook together. Almost any dish can be tweaked to be healthier, and it's so nice to share the kitchen together and produce something that you feel good about eating.
01-31-2012, 12:53 PM
This is how I put on 20 pounds after I nearly hit my goal weight! :dizzy: My fiance is a pilot and he loves to pick up odd treats for me on his trips. And then when we were at home I was having a great time showing him all my favorite dessert recipes.
It was hard, but I had to tell him what was going on with my body and that I simply couldn't eat like that. He was supportive and understood...yet not quite.
I started putting back half back off my plate so he could see that he was serving me way too much. He has my portions down now. ;) We cooked together and I got him into some healthy and delicious recipes, which he now greatly appreciates because his trip diet is horrible. We agreed to do a small dessert once a week only, and for me that dessert is McDonald's Sundaes which are the lowest calorie Sundaes I'm aware of.
You're wise to stop the trend now! It took me 20 pounds to figure it out.
01-31-2012, 01:08 PM
It's hard to break habits with your significant other. My hubby tells me all the time that he feels like he lost his "eating buddy". Here is what I do:
I make my own plate. My hubby is another one who likes to fill the plates when he cooks or even when i cook and he makes my plate. I will eat what he cooks or what I cook for everyone, but my stipulation is that I make my own plate. So if alfredo is on the menu, I put a small portion of that and a large portion of veggies. It works for both of us so he doesnt feel like he is sabotaging my diet and we get to enjoy the same meal.
Get ready for the weekends. I don't eat out often anymore (for obvious reasons) and when i do, i get ready for it. I spend the week drinking more water (i usually drink 2liters and on these weeks i drink 16oz or more than that) and i do more exercise. i try to exercise 30-45 mins a day and on the week before my "outing" I exercise 45-60mins a day. I make sure that I "up" my fiber and I eat plenty of protein all week.
Then on the weekend, i eat a salad before dinner and I eat and drink whatever I want for a day. it's my treat and I don't feel guilty for it because I know that one day wont ruin me and I prepared for it all week. I wait a few days after my outing and get on the scale and i'm usually still on track.
Because your bf loves you and supports your decisions, I'm sure he wont mind small changes to your routine. and maybe you guys can go workout together (go for a walk, use wii fit, do an exercise tape, have vigorous sweaty sex) after dinner. ;-)