Weight Loss Support - When someone eats your 'on plan' food!




gonnabfitmom
01-26-2012, 11:57 AM
There's a family friend who watches my daughter when I'm in class--I spend the night at her house on the nights when I have school because I have to get up earlier than Jesus. Soooo I pack my lunch from home and bring it to her house, put it in the fridge for the next day. My lunches are carefully planned. I make sure I have enough food to get my through the day and that it has a specific number of calories.

Well, this woman has 2 kids of her own and one of them stole my granola bar from the fridge and ate it! And no one fessed up even after they got yelled at by mom! They ALL admit that they saw it in there but NO ONE would admit to eating it. I know it's just granola bar but dammit I pack my lunch for a reason! So I won't be tempted to buy unhealthy (and expensive) food while I'm at school. They are just kids, but old enough to know better--they are 8 and 11.

It just put me in a bad mood that morning because I was missing that particular item. It threw me off!


Munchy
01-26-2012, 12:12 PM
That's very annoying and I don't have a solution, but I feel for you! :D

QuilterInVA
01-26-2012, 12:13 PM
Do you pay her for staying there? If not, consider a granola bar cheap rent. I think you are blowing this all out of proportion. They are children and saw a tasty granola bar in the fridge. Maybe you could get a lunch box that locks.


rachaelm
01-26-2012, 12:15 PM
Aw man, I'm sorry. That does really suck. Really no way to help now, maybe in the future, you'll have to put your stuff on top of the fridge? (gee wonder where I hide stuff from my 5yr old??)

My husband & son have decided they really like my fiber bars. It was making me mad at first, then I decided to buy two boxes of them when I go to the grocery store. That way I can still have some for me!

kateleestar
01-26-2012, 12:21 PM
Do you pay her for staying there? If not, consider a granola bar cheap rent. I think you are blowing this all out of proportion. They are children and saw a tasty granola bar in the fridge. Maybe you could get a lunch box that locks.

I disagree with this, I'm sorry. If they are 8 and 11, they know better than to get into a lunch box that they know for sure is not even their mom's, but their mom's friend. And the fact that neither fessed up? Both would be punished if they were my kids, lol. That's disrespectful of other peoples property, right there.

I agree that you should be upset, and a little peeved that they wouldn't even come clean. I'm assuming you pay her to watch your kid, or to stay there, or whatever, thats between you all...

The granola-bar-taking wouldn't bother me as much as the not-coming-clean. I can't stand lying. UGH. lol.

Good luck and I feel your pain! :D

JohnP
01-26-2012, 12:24 PM
My opinion is you need to put this in context and relax.

Is it annoying? Sure. Does it really matter that much? No.

sontaikle
01-26-2012, 12:26 PM
Ugh! I feel your pain.

I still live at home and my mother and I have to hide food from my brothers and my father all the time. My fiber one bars would be long gone, as would the chicken I grill for lunch.

When I grill up chicken, it takes me quite a while to go through it all. My brother has easily eaten up three or four of my lunches in one sitting. So I hide it at the back of the fridge now. I told him to just tell me if he finishes it up so I at least know to make more and don't open the fridge to find nothing to make lunch with...but he never did, so I hide it now.

Like I said, the frustrating part is that they don't say anything when they finish stuff! I just hate going to get something and it's gone!

sacha
01-26-2012, 12:36 PM
Yes, an 8 & 11 year old know better but kids are kids and sometimes they are going to do things they know they shouldn't, and most of the time they are going to lie about it when they are busted. Surely this cannot be news to most of us!?!?? I've done it. My boy will do it when he's old enough to know better. You've all done it. Mom yelled at them. They still lied. Now what? Call the police? Just kidding....

They've been yelled at. It's probably not going to happen again, I think it was just a crappy incident. I think the OP knows that too, she's just frustrated and I don't blame her.

bargoo
01-26-2012, 12:45 PM
Hw about keeping the Granola ar in your purse ?They do not have to be refrigerated.

Italiannie
01-26-2012, 12:55 PM
I know it's a drag, but, I would bring something for everyone to share and make sure they know yours is off limits. Let it go.

Someday your child will do something wrong and lie about it too.

Forgiveness is way more powerful than anger.

Megan1982
01-26-2012, 01:07 PM
It is annoying... but not that huge a deal. Perhaps keep the non-perishable parts of your lunch in your purse or other bag. Was your food in a lunch bag or just sitting "loose" in the fridge? I'll admit when I was 8, if there was food in the fridge in my house I probably would think it was up for grabs unless I had been told by one of my parents. I would suggest getting a lunch bag or box you can close to keep your food in when you place it in your friend's fridge. Make a big deal of putting it in the fridge in front of your friend's family - "look at the cute new lunch bag I found!" and maybe the kids will realize the food is not theirs for the taking.

Sunshine73
01-26-2012, 02:16 PM
I would just make a polite point of asking/telling them that your lunch items are not theirs for the taking. They're kids - old enough to know better? Maybe. But in our house if the food was in the fridge it was there to be eaten by anyone who happened to want/need a snack. It *is* possible that they didn't think about it being yours and just ate it.

The lying would bug me but that's for their mom to deal with and truthfully if you did something as a child that you never even thought of as being wrong and suddenly you're being yelled at for it...well, that's when kids are going to fib. Not saying it's right but it is what it is.

Bonnie+J
01-26-2012, 02:30 PM
It is annoying... but not that huge a deal. Perhaps keep the non-perishable parts of your lunch in your purse or other bag. Was your food in a lunch bag or just sitting "loose" in the fridge? I'll admit when I was 8, if there was food in the fridge in my house I probably would think it was up for grabs unless I had been told by one of my parents. I would suggest getting a lunch bag or box you can close to keep your food in when you place it in your friend's fridge. Make a big deal of putting it in the fridge in front of your friend's family - "look at the cute new lunch bag I found!" and maybe the kids will realize the food is not theirs for the taking.

Really have to agree with this. Unless its been specifically said "do not eat this" there is no way i would expect anyone, child or adult, not to eat it. In my house the food that is in the fridge is the familys food. If i want to save something, then i tell people "please dont eat this, i am saving it" and then it doesnt get eaten. I wouldnt expect kids or adults to stop and think that maybe this isnt ok to be eaten. Perhaps your friend has the same kind of approach and thats why her kids didnt think?
I think that some sort of specific box or bag would solve your problem.

sontaikle
01-26-2012, 02:45 PM
I know I posted here already but...

I really think the OP has a right to be upset. Even if she knows what to do in the future, she does have a right to be upset about it since it messes up her plans.

Anybody who successfully loses/maintains weight knows about the importance of planning ahead. Our way of dealing with food is "broken" and we have to fix it...well planning ahead is one of those ways to "fix" it. When your plan—any plan really—gets messed up, I think one is easily going to be upset about it initially. I'm not saying to go on the warpath or anything, but being upset is totally justified.

I'm strict about my plans. I even plan for the unplanned, keeping soup in my desk at work should I misplace or forget my lunch. When going out to eat with friends or my fiance, I need to know where we're going beforehand so I can look at the options available. Sure, I can default to a few dishes should something change, but for the most part, I need to stay on plan.

My fiance didn't get this at first, but he's never had a weight issue. I get really annoyed when his mother just up and cooks and expects us to eat at their house even if we have other plans (you know, plans to make sure I stay on plan). She doesn't cook all that healthy and I just don't want to eat that stuff. I don't care if it's polite, whatever. I don't want it. My health is more important.

I don't deviate from my plan, so I understand how something 'little' could cause the OP a lot of frustration. When you go off track because you did something, well that's different. You messed up, you know how to fix it for the next meal/snack/whatever. If you're doing everything right and someone else messes up your plan? Well yeah of course you're going to get mad!

princessgina00
01-26-2012, 05:10 PM
I don't deviate from my plan, so I understand how something 'little' could cause the OP a lot of frustration. When you go off track because you did something, well that's different. You messed up, you know how to fix it for the next meal/snack/whatever. If you're doing everything right and someone else messes up your plan? Well yeah of course you're going to get mad!

Yeah, but it was one granola bar. ONE! No one is saying that the OP is not entitled to her emotions (in this case, anger). What most here seem to be saying is that the OP needs to forgive and forget. These were children, not terrorists. They had no ill intent and made an honest mistake. Sure, they didn't fess up to their mistake, but, as others have mentioned, children lie (****, adults lie) because they do not want to get into trouble. It's okay to get angry over perceived slights, but it's a bit ludicrous to stay angry, especially at children.

jeminijad
01-26-2012, 05:18 PM
Adults should not be angry with children for being immature. A bit annoyed- yes.

lin43
01-26-2012, 05:18 PM
Yes, an 8 & 11 year old know better but kids are kids and sometimes they are going to do things they know they shouldn't, and most of the time they are going to lie about it when they are busted. Surely this cannot be news to most of us!?!?? I've done it. My boy will do it when he's old enough to know better. You've all done it. Mom yelled at them. They still lied. Now what? Call the police? Just kidding....

No offense--but what about a bit of discipline? Some form of punishment at all? I don't believe in just shrugging off lying by saying "kids will be kids." Yes, kids will be kids and parents should be parents and punish them if they lie. After all, that's how they learn not to do it.

Yes, it's just a granola bar. To me, that's the least of the issue. The bigger issue is that they felt okay to take something that didn't belong to them, didn't fess up to it, and apparently, there were no consequences for it.

sontaikle
01-26-2012, 05:32 PM
Yeah, but it was one granola bar. ONE! No one is saying that the OP is not entitled to her emotions (in this case, anger). What most here seem to be saying is that the OP needs to forgive and forget. These were children, not terrorists. They had no ill intent and made an honest mistake. Sure, they didn't fess up to their mistake, but, as others have mentioned, children lie (****, adults lie) because they do not want to get into trouble. It's okay to get angry over perceived slights, but it's a bit ludicrous to stay angry, especially at children.

I never said she should stay angry at the kids (that is silly) but that i get why she was upset. She's on here ranting instead of yelling at the kids after all.

A lot of people just seem to be dismissing her complaints. I was just chiming in to say that yes, I know it was something little but I completely understand being annoyed when you're trying to avoid temptation

Munchy
01-26-2012, 05:36 PM
I didn't think the OP sounded that angry, but just annoyed and venting. Comparing her frustration to a reaction to terrorism is a little far-fetched. It would annoy me as well - that doesn't mean I'd do anything about it other than grumble a little and figure out another way. I assume she has a lunchbox for her "packed" meal, but maybe that was an error on my part.

I tend to have a difficult time adjusting to my meals being thrown off during the day too, especially if it's while I'm at work, where I eat two snacks and a meal. I don't have time to run to the store in the middle of my day, but I do get hungry. That hunger can get intense, because after many years of eating similarly, my body just expects it.

I also pre-pack my meals and meals for others (I plan and pack meals for coworkers) and would be upset if someone took a portion of something out of one that I've already measured, calculated, labeled, and packed.

I don't know the exact circumstances (if the bag was labeled, if this is something they know, etc, etc), but if my child knowingly took someone else's things and then lied about it, she would have a consequence, no matter what it was. It's just the way we do it in my house.

ennay
01-26-2012, 05:45 PM
Good lord, its not like she threatened the kids, she said it put her in a bad mood.

Guess what, I'm in a bad mood today and I dont have anywhere near as good of a reason as she does.

People are allowed to feel what they feel. And come here and vent about it. IT'S WHAT WE DO SO WE DON'T EAT OUR :censored: FEELINGS.

sacha
01-26-2012, 05:52 PM
No offense--but what about a bit of discipline? Some form of punishment at all? I don't believe in just shrugging off lying by saying "kids will be kids." Yes, kids will be kids and parents should be parents and punish them if they lie. After all, that's how they learn not to do it.

Yes, it's just a granola bar. To me, that's the least of the issue. The bigger issue is that they felt okay to take something that didn't belong to them, didn't fess up to it, and apparently, there were no consequences for it.

What kind of discipline?

The mom yelled at them. I guess that was her form of discipline. Maybe she did more later? The OP is not the mother, we don't know what happened. Or are we just assuming that the mother yelled at them and then went about her day???

Should she have sent them back to the store to buy a new case? Taken away the TV? Smacked them across the face or hit them until one of them confessed?

Every parent has their own form of discipline and everyone will argue what is the right thing to do - you know parenting, everyone has their down dang opinion about what you should do with your own child. Maybe being yelled at is their mother's form of consequence? May not be good enough for you but it might be the way for her to do it.

Funny how someone being annoyed about their meal plan deviating (which can be stressful for some) has completely transformed into a discussion about how some woman didn't discipline her kids properly. Now THAT is quite the assumption.

princessgina00
01-26-2012, 08:50 PM
Another thing, are we even certain that it was one of the kids who ate the granola bar? Is the OP certain? She says that one of them ate it, but did she witness the act or is she just assuming it was one of the kids? It could have been the OP's friend (or her husband/boyfriend if one exists). My dad eats my sister's food all the time and vice versa, but it is easy in that case to know who the food bandit is. When there are at least four people in a living situation, the the lines become blurred. It is also easier to blame one of the kids than to accuse a friend of theft. It's also uncertain if the kids even knew that the granola bar was the OP's and was therefore off limits. There are a lot of assumptions flying around (by the OP firstly). There was food in a refrigerator and it was eaten and now the OP is upset. Those are the only facts in the "case." Anything else is purely circumstantial.

Also, punishing two kids for allegedly eating a granola bar and then allegedly lying about is just dumb IMO. Firstly, you don't even know if they ate it (did they split it or did only one of them eat it?). And, secondly, they ate something that they may or may not have known was off-limits out of a fridge containing food that they normally eat without needing permission. Seems like a very flimsy situation to base punishment or a lesson off of. Just saying.

princessgina00
01-26-2012, 08:50 PM
Funny how someone being annoyed about their meal plan deviating (which can be stressful for some) has completely transformed into a discussion about how some woman didn't discipline her kids properly. Now THAT is quite the assumption.

HA! :rofl:

gonnabfitmom
01-26-2012, 09:59 PM
Oh goodness @ these responses! I didn't mean to open Pandora's box.

As someone else stated I wasn't 'MAD' at the kids for eating the granola bar. I was annoyed because it was an interruption of my pre planned meal. And yes, I KNOW it was one of them who ate it because there is only the kids, myself, and this woman in the house at the time it was stolen. And I know my 6 month old didn't do it!

They also knew that it was mine because I heard them ask their mom about it in the fridge and she TOLD them that it belonged to me. Yet, the next morning when I went to get my lunch it was gone. Also, these kids have a penchant for taking things (mostly food) that they shouldn't have and eating it in their rooms (where they aren't supposed to have it). In fact, the mom had to start locking the pantry because they would sneak in there and steal snack.

Knowing this, you might ask why I didn't go to greater lengths to keep my food safe. Well, they've never once touched anything out of my lunch before. And two, I witnessed the mother tell them that the snacks in the fridge belonged to me. I assumed that would be enough to deter them. Well, now, obviously I will do more to make sure my lunch remains uneaten.

Arctic Mama
01-26-2012, 10:07 PM
Sorry, granola bars are nutritionally junky enough I think the kid was doing you a favor ;)

That said, I'd be annoyed as well if something I planned on eating went missing. It happens around here a lot, too, and I've learned to clearly label my food containers and explain to my husband why thins are set aside and what is up for grabs. We even have a whiteboard on the fridge where I can list leftovers, meals I've planned for the family, etc, to reduce confusion.

Try to put it in context and not get too steamed - use this as your litmus that you need to clearly state and perhaps get clever with the storage of your food. They probably should have asked, but now that it has happened hopefully all involved have learned from it, right?

princessgina00
01-26-2012, 10:11 PM
Oh goodness @ these responses! I didn't mean to open Pandora's box.

As someone else stated I wasn't 'MAD' at the kids for eating the granola bar. I was annoyed because it was an interruption of my pre planned meal. And yes, I KNOW it was one of them who ate it because there is only the kids, myself, and this woman in the house at the time it was stolen. And I know my 6 month old didn't do it!

They also knew that it was mine because I heard them ask their mom about it in the fridge and she TOLD them that it belonged to me. Yet, the next morning when I went to get my lunch it was gone. Also, these kids have a penchant for taking things (mostly food) that they shouldn't have and eating it in their rooms (where they aren't supposed to have it). In fact, the mom had to start locking the pantry because they would sneak in there and steal snack.

Knowing this, you might ask why I didn't go to greater lengths to keep my food safe. Well, they've never once touched anything out of my lunch before. And two, I witnessed the mother tell them that the snacks in the fridge belonged to me. I assumed that would be enough to deter them. Well, now, obviously I will do more to make sure my lunch remains uneaten.

Yeah, it sounds like there's a deeper problem, here, than a missing granola bar. So, maybe we should all focus on the bigger issues and not sweat the small stuff.

I know that it's annoying to have your food eaten (I hate it and I think everyone hates it.). But, as the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Hide your food in the interim, but maybe also talk to the mom about having a conversation with her children about why they continue to steal food and binge on it. That issue worries me more than your missing granola bar.

MiZTaCCen
01-26-2012, 10:28 PM
Good lord, its not like she threatened the kids, she said it put her in a bad mood.

Guess what, I'm in a bad mood today and I dont have anywhere near as good of a reason as she does.

People are allowed to feel what they feel. And come here and vent about it. IT'S WHAT WE DO SO WE DON'T EAT OUR :censored: FEELINGS.

Dito! I'm in a bad mood for a good reason but still I'd be pretty upset if someone took my granola bar....mostly when it's this time of the month! :mad:

Maybe they won't do it again and hopefully it'll be a one time incident! :carrot:

gonnabfitmom
01-26-2012, 10:32 PM
Yeah, it sounds like there's a deeper problem, here, than a missing granola bar. So, maybe we should all focus on the bigger issues and not sweat the small stuff.

I know that it's annoying to have your food eaten (I hate it and I think everyone hates it.). But, as the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Hide your food in the interim, but maybe also talk to the mom about having a conversation with her children about why they continue to steal food and binge on it. That issue worries me more than your missing granola bar.

I don't think they are binging.....

I just think they take goodies that that they aren't supposed to have up to their rooms and eat them in secret. I mean, its not that odd a thing to do for kids but they still shouldn't take things that don't belong to them.

linJber
01-26-2012, 10:39 PM
Gonnabfitmom: I have a question. Was the granola bar and other stuff just "in the fridge" or was it in a lunch bag or box? I understand that the kids knew it was yours and I agree that there should have been a little bit of discipline given the fact that they asked, were told, and deliberately disobeyed. But did they actually go into your lunch bag? Or was it on the shelf in plain sight? If it was in a bag, I think there might be a bigger problem since it's obvious that the bag is your and they went through it. If that is not the case, maybe simply putting everything in a bag is the solution, as has been suggested. What's in the bag is off limits. Period.

It's tough. Even at 8 and 11 we do things that seem like no big deal when we do them and are surprised at the outcome. Heck, even as adults! A heart to heart might make a big difference, too. Appeal to their human side and let them know you were hurt and that it made it harder to do your job because you didn't have your full lunch, etc. I realize you're more upset about the denial than the "theft," but sometimes it's just so hard to be good! Discipline should be dealt out to BOTH children in equal measure - since everyone knows that one of them did it and won't fess up.

Perhaps an extra bar or 2 in your desk or locker at work is a solution to that part of the problem. I sure hope the situation didn't / doesn't get in the way of your friendship. It seems like you have a wonderful friend who is willing to allow you to stay overnight to make your life simpler. We all need friends like that. How wonderful that you have one.

Lin

Magalo
01-26-2012, 10:40 PM
When I grill up chicken, it takes me quite a while to go through it all. My brother has easily eaten up three or four of my lunches in one sitting. So I hide it at the back of the fridge now. I told him to just tell me if he finishes it up so I at least know to make more and don't open the fridge to find nothing to make lunch with...but he never did, so I hide it now.

I'm living the same **** with my bf. With my healthy food and my oh dear important huge black chocolate bar that can last me a month. I take 1-2 squares at time, take time to appreciate my treat, but then he found out and pig out on all of it in one sitting while he listen to movies.

Murder gets tempting.:devil:

roxybabay
01-26-2012, 11:22 PM
I would of been annoyed too! I remember when I was on ww's and I would have my special food to be on plan and my bf would eat his junk plus my healthy food :/ I was not a happy camper at all lol!

guynna
01-28-2012, 08:53 PM
If your kids or whoever are gobbling up stuff you spent time prepping, it's be pretty cheap (and easier than trying to convince your brother that it's not helpful for him to eat three of your meals at once! I can sympathize with this) to buy a dorm-size fridge and keep it in your closet! Do whatever you have to do : )

Telorida
01-29-2012, 11:24 AM
OP, I know a ton of effort goes in to meticulously planning your meals so they come out "on plan". I would have been very bothered by this, too. It doesn't matter that they were kids or adults, I would have been bothered just the same, because someone did something that hurt me and I had to figure a way around it.

Being bothered or upset doesn't translate to actions automatically. For people saying "they are just kids", that does not make the original poster's day any easier to deal with once the meal plan has been thrown off.

Yes, there are lots of actions she can take to prevent it in the future, but I think she really wanted to vent. She is perfectly justified in being upset. It's not like she's browbeating the children... she's just here, expressing her feelings. I don't see an "out of proportion" response to the situation at all.


Stolen food strikes a nerve with me. I have had lunches stolen at work, on days where I did not have a long enough lunch break to go out and buy a replacement, even if it were unhealthy... I just had to go without. As infuriating as it is when a kid does it, when it's a "supposed" adult coworker... I was angry beyond belief!!

I don't put my food in a community fridge anymore. I use a ton of ice-packs and an insulated, soft-side bag to keep it cool on my desk until lunchtime. Since it sounds like food theft and eating of off-limits foods is not uncommon in that household, you may consider this. Bring extra ice-packs to freeze in your friend's freezer overnight, then change out the ice-packs in your bag before you go. No risk of them eating those blue-goo Icepacks, I hope... :D

sontaikle
01-29-2012, 11:29 AM
Telorida I do the same thing. I refuse to use the community fridges at any job I've had. a small cooler with ice-packs ensures that my food is always with me and I don't have to worry about someone taking it. While I thought about investing in a small fridge for my classroom, I opted to buy a larger cooler on clearance for the time being.

I may be a little paranoid, but when I was more naive and trusting I had money stolen out of my bag in the work break room. After that I locked my bag up in my car.

Bellasmommy924
01-29-2012, 11:51 AM
While it is annoying.. i'd say pick your battles.. or a lock for your lunch bag :-)

freelancemomma
01-29-2012, 12:54 PM
I honestly don't think it's that big a transgression, though I can empathize with the OP's momentary annoyance. If my own kids had taken a guest's granola bar I would have done nothing more than give them a casual reprimand accompanied by explanation.

F.

aliasihaya
01-29-2012, 03:18 PM
LOL. I also have to admit that it's made me laugh how a venting thread has brought out such a controversy of different opinions. It's amazing what strikes people's interest so that they'll respond so strongly. Good job on that one. :)

Here's my two cents. Having written many venting posts on this site I could see this for what it was. I spend so much time meticulously managing my meal plan and ever little detail about what I eat over the course of a week. I'm also not good with change. So if I had someone swipe something out of my planned lunch I would be more irritated than someone else who just threw their lunch together. This is hard work. And we're working hard not to deviate from our plans. But when an outside party throws it off (no matter how small) it can ruin your day. I'm totally with you there. Vent away. That's what this site is for. Hopefully it helped you get out some of your frustration so that you could move on with your day. :)