Support Groups - How Do You Stay Positive?
01-23-2012, 12:34 AM
I have been on one huge emotional roller coaster since losing my job a few years back, and that is when I gained all of the weight that put me at my highest weight ever. Things have emotionally gotten better for me over the past 7 months due to a major turning point in my life last summer. I have noticed though since those other areas of my life have gotten better I have now started to feel more and more depressed about my weight. I know I have lost weight, but when I look a pictures I just don't see it which makes me constantly question whats the point. My rings and some pants are looser now but for some reason I dont feel as happy about it as I think Im suppose to. I keep thinking that I will eventually get to my goal weight but I wont look any different then how I look now. I know I will be healthier but the thought of looking the same regardless really upsets me.
I taped a picture to my wall(that I see all the time) with positive words to try and help me stay encouraged throughout the day. Im just curious to see if there are other things you all have to done to stay motivated about your diet and exercise to reach your final goal.
01-23-2012, 01:45 AM
My emotions are all over the place too. I think that knowing this about myself helps me get a better picture of the reality of being me. I am finally recognizing the emotional cycles I go through, I might see clues that I'm headed down the path of momentary despair, then take action to avoid it when I can. I also try to rewire my brain to stay in moments of joy as much as possible. If being crabby can be a habit, being joyful and positive can be a habit too.
During my whole adult life I've either been fat or thought I was fat. I don't doubt that I'll eventually weigh less than 200 lbs. Well, that's a lie. I doubt it all the time. But I believe that I'll achieve the loss more than I doubt it now. What makes me depressed is that I'll not be thin and young. I'm turning 51 in a couple weeks. My skin isn't going to snap back. It's getting harder and harder for me to shed fat. I see lots more work in my future. But I'm now looking forward to all of it, the work as well as the reward. So I guess what encourages me the most is knowing I am capable of staying in the effort for the rest of my life.
I know I'll hit bottom, again and again. It's just who I am and it's part of the ride. I stick with the effort because physically I feel great now! Much better than when I wasn't eating right and exercising regularly.
If I spend too much time thinking about how great I feel now, then I start worrying about how much greater I'm going to feel when I break below 200 lbs, and will I start to feel manic with all that fresh load of energy, and how will I be able to control myself, and will I have to achieve so much more than I'm already doing, and...I need to stop thinking so much!!!
01-23-2012, 08:37 AM
I started out at a similar height and weight to you, and I'm going to tell you something that is a little hard to hear: at your size, you won't see that much difference at first. The shape of your body doesn't change that much at first.
Search the form for the phrase "paper towel theory" for a nice little essay that explains why this is. The long and short of it is, the heavier you are, the less difference each pound makes to your overall appearance.
I didn't really start to look different until I had lost more than 50 pounds - that for me was a whole YEAR of weight loss. Once I got to about 60 pounds gone, though, it was like a switch flipped - I looked different, I felt different, and people started noticing. But it takes a lot of patience because you won't get those benefits sooner than that.
I know you want to see results for all your hard work. But the 30 pounds you have lost and the scale and your pants fitting looser ARE results. They are great results. And if you stick with you plan, more results will come with time. If you give up, though ... Well, you know what happens if you give up. You gain it all back, with interest.
Just keep at it. You ask how do you stay positive - well, I'll tell you the truth, sometimes I dont stay positive. But I stick to my plan, even if I'm feeling pissy and hopeless about it. Because giving up and staying fat isn't going to make me feel any better than sticking to it. Don't worry about being a cheery rah-rah ray of sunshine - just worry about sticking to your plan - if you do that, I promise that in time you will look and feel better.
01-23-2012, 10:42 AM
I understand. I'm constantly bouncing between being motivated and wanting to give up. I think part of that is because it is such a slow process. I've lost almost 10 pounds and I don't see a difference in anything yet. And so I ended up bingeing and gaining 2 pounds back. I was really frustrated with myself. But now I'm trying to pick myself up and move forward. I know that for a lot of us it's about the visual changes as to why we're doing this. But in the end, its the health problems that are the most important. I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 35. That's pretty damn young. And all because I avoided attempting weight loss for over 10 years. So while, I desparately want to look like I did in highschool (which can never happen) I keep focused by reminding myself that I don't want to have to check my blood sugar anymore 3 times a day. That I want to get off of my high blood pressure medication. That I don't want to be tired and achey anymore. And that's helping me. But that's my own personal journey. You'll figure out what works for you. But the important thing is that have lost 30 pounds and that you are sticking to it. And that obviously you care if you decided to post on this site. So keep moving. I will to. And we'll get there eventually. :-) Good Luck!
01-23-2012, 10:52 AM
TY for responding it means a lot. I have a photo of myself before I gained the weight when I was around 185lb(still chubby) so I know there is a difference in there somewhere. I think most of the weight atm has come partly out of my face and other areas where I may not of realized I ever had excess there. The bad part is that I have a round face shape, and while I know that my face can still look "skinny" even though I dont think it does atm it just drives me nuts some days.
01-23-2012, 10:18 PM
Hi, i'm new to this forum and came across your post, holy cow 30 pounds is a huge accomplishment!!! Kudos to you! Staying positive when you are on the right track for your own goals is key - everyones journey is going to be different so pat yourself on the back for your efforts and enjoy that 30 pound weight loss success!