General chatter - Issues with "peeping toms"




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runtothemoon
01-13-2012, 09:39 PM
I made a youtube account so I could post a "watch me shrink" video to keep me motivated. I taped myself in my bikini turning around and pinching my stomach fat and posted a video with my measurements, diet plan, and goals.

A day later three people had subscribed to me. They subcirbed to all these "watch me shrink" videos as well as what I'd call, I guess, overweight fetish videos.

I feel really violated. :( I set my video to private and will do so for all future videos but the damage was done. Was I just naive? I really didn't see this coming.


Italiannie
01-13-2012, 10:00 PM
You were naive. I'm sorry, but if it's "out there" it's "out there."

This is what we keep telling our kids. Unless it's something you would stand in the middle of a busy street and show to everyone you know, and those you don't - don't put it online.

ValRock
01-13-2012, 10:02 PM
Yep... I consider the internet public. If you post it online it's the same as standing out in the town square and doing it. I'm so sorry.


Candeka
01-14-2012, 12:26 AM
I don't think it had anything to do with them having some fetish. Chances are they were people looking for motivation videos. I know that I LOVE youtube videos of people showing off their transformations and also watching peoples weekly video blogs about their weight loss journeys.

The fact that you didn't want people to see this and put it on youtube WITHOUT setting it to private is very confusing!

astrophe
01-14-2012, 12:37 AM
Naive. Anything anywhere you post online is public. Anything online is only "private" not really private.

I'm sorry -- I know it feels weird. :hug:

How about just keeping it on your computer at home for YOU to view? It doesn't actually need to be on youtube.

A.

Ciao
01-14-2012, 12:38 AM
i'm terribly sorry you feel violated and i wouldn't let it dwell over you and worry yourself sick. as you said, you really didn't see it coming.

i'd keep the videos private, take this as a lesson learned, and move on in a positive direction with your weight loss. next time, when you feel more comfortable, re-start with FITTED clothes on. that way you can still see progress and you're not showing too much skin to those who may make you feel uncomfortable.

Ciao
01-14-2012, 12:43 AM
I don't think it had anything to do with them having some fetish. Chances are they were people looking for motivation videos.

that was my initial thought too, however i read her statement again and realized she said "...as well as what i'd call overweight fetish videos."

back to the original poster:
watch me shrink videos CAN BE and ARE inspiring. you just have to realize the internet is filled with a vast amount of people who will downgrade you, criticize you, creep you out, etc. the first second you make your personal life public.

i'm glad you dealt with it now while you still had control over the situation instead of, perhaps, two months from now dealing with something more serious you really weren't prepared for or expecting.

757MISTY
01-14-2012, 08:31 AM
I swear someone somewhere always has to ruin things for others. I do watch those videos they are inspiring for me and give me motivation. I wonder if there is a way you could block only certain users?

Esofia
01-14-2012, 12:24 PM
Everyone makes mistakes, and at least you caught it early, so hopefully now that you've pulled the video, no one has a copy of it which could later appear online again. Meanwhile, don't be misled by the number of people who are willing to take the substantial risk of putting videos or photos of themselves, and/or their real names, online. There are very real reasons why it's prudent to avoid doing that. I don't even have my photo on Facebook any more, after what happened to poor Jelena Lecic in June. Identity theft is a major problem today, and when photos or videos are involved it can get even nastier.

gagalu
01-14-2012, 12:52 PM
there are a lotta freaks on the internet, so that honestly doesn't surprise me. i'm sorry you were creeped on like that and that you can't make a video showing your progress without something disgusting like this happening to you. things shouldn't be like that. i'm glad you set it on private, though! and if there are any specific people you want to have access to the videos, you can allow them that.

gagalu
01-14-2012, 01:00 PM
You were naive. I'm sorry, but if it's "out there" it's "out there."

This is what we keep telling our kids. Unless it's something you would stand in the middle of a busy street and show to everyone you know, and those you don't - don't put it online.

idk, this seems kind of like victim blaming. the problem is that there are disgusting people out there turning her success story into masturbation material, and honestly, it's kinda gross. i mean, i don't think the problem is that "they know about her weight loss," because that's why she put the video up -- she wanted people to know about her success, to inspire others, and to have others' responses inspire her -- she just didn't realize that in doing that, her video was going to be turned into pornography by some very disgusting men. i mean, it was youtube, not spankwire -- she shouldn't have expected that kind of response.

there's no reason that a woman should have to deal with that, or to be objectified like that. calling her naive or saying "well, that's how things are" only excuses that kind of behavior. that said, things like this do tend to be exacerbated on the internet due to anonymity, and i'm glad that the OP realized what was happening to her and yanked the video before that was able to turn into anything more traumatizing than it already was.

Italiannie
01-14-2012, 01:07 PM
I'm not blaming her, and I don't think she is at all responsible for other's behavior but, as you put it, gagalu - "she just didn't realize that in doing that, her video was going to be turned into pornography by some very disgusting men" That is the definition of naive.

The internet is very public. We cannot be responsible for what other do, but we certainly must be mindful and wise, to think otherwise is naive.

ennay
01-14-2012, 01:10 PM
Personally I wouldnt even trust the private setting. There is no such thing as internet privacy and while there are some security stuff out there, I would highly doubt youtube puts a great deal of effort to keep images secure. It's not financial, so it isnt regulated.

Why post to youtube at all? If you are the only one you want to see it why put it on the net? Cant you watch your own video on your own computer or your own tv without putting it out there?

MariaMaria
01-14-2012, 01:28 PM
You can see your own videos without uploading them.

If your problem is that the wrong strangers watched, then yes, you're being naive.

PollifaxFive
01-15-2012, 12:32 AM
It's good that you realized and made that decision not to post any more if it bothers you. Creeps online will use anything as substitute porn. I certainly don't fault you for wanting to put the same material out there that other people do. It's just like putting a photo online. Seeing someone's face can be like seeing their bodies, yet people don't find faces as personal as they do the nude body. I'm sure creepy people look up photos of normal, every-day people as porn, as if those people were porn stars. There are people who use others' faces in their false profiles, after all. It'll be okay. You're in the same category of people who put photos of themselves online in bikinis on Facebook - in short, many people.

*On that note, I find those before & after photos and progress pictures very encouraging.

MiZTaCCen
01-16-2012, 10:19 AM
I'm going to say Naive, I have no idea why you would post your videos on the internet anyways of you didn't want someone to see them? Youtube is the worst place for that. Have your video's on your computer so you can view them, not posting them on a public site. Let's say even if you had your privacy settings, anyone can hack into your account and take those anyways if they really wanted to. (trust me plenty of people have no lives so they'll do stuff like that.)

I'm sorry that you feel violated and people are creeps..but people are creeps regardless. At least you know now and learned from it, now the only problem is getting past that issue. *Hugs*

bandit bear
01-23-2012, 02:39 AM
I made a youtube account so I could post a "watch me shrink" video to keep me motivated. I taped myself in my bikini turning around and pinching my stomach fat and posted a video with my measurements, diet plan, and goals.

A day later three people had subscribed to me. They subcirbed to all these "watch me shrink" videos as well as what I'd call, I guess, overweight fetish videos.

I feel really violated. :( I set my video to private and will do so for all future videos but the damage was done. Was I just naive? I really didn't see this coming.

I sorta know how you feel. When I was a freshman in college a few years back, my roommate and I were goofing off with her digital camera and she took a picture of my cleavage with my face not showing. Well, turns out, she uploaded it to a sort of dating website and pretended that it was her. Sick, I know. But the comments on the photo grossed me out more.

There are some gross people out there, and I would yank those videos off faster than can say YouTube.

kaplods
01-26-2012, 11:30 PM
When I was a probation officer, in one of our trainings, we saw a film taken by a pedophile at a park. He carried the video camera at his side (as if it were off and he just happened to be strolling along with it), all the while taking shots of kids at the park. This same pedophile was caught because he and his wife molested an 11-year old girlscout that had come to their door selling cookies. The girl escaped and they found the tapes in his home.

This really hit-home to me that you can never trust people, especially strangers to have innocent motives. The video tape shots looked innocent, but they were not only used as kiddy-porn, they were also used to study the kids for molestation opportunities. Which kids weren't being closely monitored by their parents? Which kids were on a predictable schedule (were they at the park every day, or every Tuesday, at the same time every time?)

We also learned in the same training that pedophiles will often steal photos of children from the desk of coworkers (and I vowed that if I ever had children, I'd never leave photos on my desk and I'd never let a child go door-to-door selling stuff without me standing next to them - and probably not even then). Even though I don't have kids, I have made a habit of looking for adults hanging around children who don't seem to belong (unfortunately, there's not much I can do, even if I spot them - I just have to hope the parents are as paranoid as I am).

We all need to be aware that there are creepy people who can twist something innocent into something perverse.

It's not blaming the victim to say - be aware of any potential audiences and their motives. If nice strangers can see what you post on the internet, then so can creepy strangers, too.

There are probably people here on this site - lurking or even posting who are not who they appear to be. They might have a fat fetish, or just morbid curiosity.

The point is, we all have to remember that we can't know or trust the minds of strangers, especially in "public" settings. Most of the internet is very public, but it feels private, so people can easily forget how very public it is, until something scary happens.

my2cats
02-22-2012, 05:42 AM
The girl scout thing kinda freaked me out.. as I sold cookies door-to-door for years. BUT my mother was always literally about 10 feet behind me. :D

JudgeDread
02-23-2012, 09:05 AM
I'd have to agree with everyone. Rule of thumb, if you don't want people to see it don't upload it to the internet. You can keep a file on your computer with the videos as a diary instead..same thing, no uploading (aside the initial). If you feel comfortable later sharing your stories then post it to youtube, it is motivational!

Whoever subscribed to you probably isn't doing it for the "fetish" thing. I would guess it's some other gal looking for motivation too. I think if guys have a weight fetish they will seek out the free porn sites for that!

Nevertheless just remove the videos if you don't want people looking! But don't get too worried, again I think your peeping toms are peeping tammys!