Weight Loss Support - How can I make it all about me me me?




PrettyMom09
01-13-2012, 09:52 AM
I have a problem not making myself a priority. I had not been able to see this before, but now that I'm thinking about it I see how much of an obstacle that is for my weight loss goal. I keep thinking that I'm going to have more time to work out once I get my closet organized, my kitchen remodeled, my living room decorated, etc. The chores never end and the demands from my kids and other family members never end either. I need help learning how to make myself a priority!!!! I work a full-time job, so I have to find time to work out either before or after work. The problem is that there is always something going in my life that takes priority over my exercise. I need to stop this once and for all. Any ideas?


jeminijad
01-13-2012, 09:56 AM
Is it that you truly feel the other things are more important, or that they are subconsciously an excuse not to work out?

For me, it is the latter.

If it is really that you look at everything that needs doing and feel that exercise is low on the list, maybe you can try alternative times. What about getting up an hour early to work out?

PixieChix
01-13-2012, 10:00 AM
I don't know if this would work for you, but I work out at lunch. There's no realistic way I'm going to get up early to work out because I don't get enough sleep as it is. And I'm tired when I get home. I'm lucky to have a fitness room in my office building. I do weights and physical therapy exercises. But even if you don't have a fitness room, maybe you could go for a walk every day at lunch time...?


mammasita
01-13-2012, 10:02 AM
I suggest waking up 30 minutes earlier than usual (ideally before the kids) and get a little exercise in - whether its a walk, a DVD, Wii, Kinect.....anything will work and you'll feel much better.

InsideMe
01-13-2012, 10:25 AM
You just have to find the time. I'm a single mother of 2 young boys (6 and 4)with a full time career. I workout on my lunch. It's my only time. If I couldn't on my lunch it would be first thing in the morning or immediately after work. Cook lots on weekend to carry through the week to ease up on the workload during the week so I can fit it in. Just sit down, go over your schedule and find an hour everyday or every other day, or on weekends. Make it a priority. Even if it means the dishes don't get done for another hour, it's worth it!

PrettyMom09
01-13-2012, 10:28 AM
Thanks for the input. I know that there is no excuse not to exercise, but for some reason, I always put everything and everybody else ahead of me. I feel guilty because I feel as though I'm not spending enough quality time with my kids as it is, and I don't want to feel guilty any more. There have been a lot of changes in our lives for the past 3 years. My relationship with their father ended, I went back to school, went back to work, then moved to a new city. The move was too much even for me, but I have to somehow find the courage to put myself first and take time to exercise no matter what.

We don't have a workout facility near my office, and it's a small office, so I sit all day long. I haven't found a park nearby yet, but I'm going to keep looking for one so I can at least go for a short walk during lunch time. However, I have noticed that the people who lose weight consistently are those who exercise a lot more than just a little 20 min walk a day. I have an aunt who is a lot older than I am, but she looks a lot younger because she goes to the gym every single day. Absolutely nothing stops her from going to the gym. Not a hungry husband, a sick kid, family visiting from out of town, nothing at all. I want to learn to be more like her and not feel so guilty.

InsideMe
01-13-2012, 10:51 AM
You have to get rid of the guilt. I understand it all to well and it comes even more so when your a single parent. But I have also realized that when I'm happy and when I'm in a good place so are my kids. I take my stress out in my workouts. My frustration gets pounded out in my weights or in my cardio class. I am finding that it's more QUALITY time than QUANTITY. I am in a better place to manage the rest of my life because my body and mind feel so much better. I'm not rushing anymore or freaking out to get things done. Things are falling into place much better cause I'm FEELING better, and I'm much calmer for my kids. Exercise just doesn't help you lose weight it helps with all areas in your life. It really does! I've noticed my short temper, especially with the boys has laxed quite a bit since I started working out. I don't snap as quick as I use to and it's better for all of us. I feel so amazing after a workout I'm in a better space to get home and tackle the homework, the after school sports, the bath and bedtime, the dishes...plus I sleep better and I'm in bed earlier than I was before exercising. You have to plan it. I promise your life will never regret the exercise!

Sunshine73
01-13-2012, 10:53 AM
Honestly, you just need to make the time. Carve out a block of time during the day and set it aside for exercise. Everyone is busy but I promise there *is* a block of time in your day that you spend doing something that you don't absolutely *have* to do.

If you're worried about losing time with your children, make exercise a family affair. Exercise doesn't necessarily mean just going to the gym and putting in an hour on the treadmill - it can be a family bike ride, a family hike through the woods, playing a fun and active Wii/Kinect type game, etc.

If it's important, you'll find a way to fit it in. If it's not then you'll find an excuse for not doing it. --- this is what I tell myself about all kinds of things that I know I *should* do but don't necessarily feel motivated to do.

ennay
01-13-2012, 11:01 AM
If you are going to use guilt use guilt to make you do it

How are you doing your kids any favors by modeling an unhealthy life for them.
How are you helping your kids by risking your life. You are a single mom, who will take care of them if you can't?
How are you helping your kids by increasing the odds that they will have to take care of you at a time they should be starting their own families.

Do you think your kids care about an organized closet, a remodeled kitchen, or a decorated living room?

PrettyMom09
01-13-2012, 11:28 AM
Thanks all! You have given me a lot to think about. I love this board!

lucky8
01-13-2012, 11:39 AM
Totally understand you hun.......i always feel like ive got to do the chores forst then i never find time for me things and exercise.

Ive decided now that if ive made a promise to myself to work out then the dishes/hovering will have to be done afterwards. Instead of first. Its the only way weightloss will start happening when we start putting our selfs first

linJber
01-13-2012, 11:41 AM
You didn't say how old the kids are, but it's amazing how much you can get them to do to help with simple chores like folding laundry and putting toys away. Just don't fall into the temptation to do it over if it isn't perfect. Quality time is any time you spend doing things together. It can be exercising in the form of running and jumping with them. Sometimes you just have to do it.

Talk to your aunt and see how she balances things. Once you set a routine, I'm sure it will get easier. Good luck with this. You have to be healthy first. Everything else will fall into place.

Lin

ennay
01-13-2012, 11:46 AM
OR...in a pinch you can always do my house cleaning blast workout on a saturday. It's what I do when I dont want to workout and I dont want to clean and I am procrastinating both. I set the timer for 10 minutes and powerclean. When the timer goes off I do pushups and burpees. 10 minutes cleaning. Chair dips and jumping jacks. 10 minutes etc. etc. etc. I actually get the cleaning done faster because I realize that if I dawdle I will have a few extra sets to do.

InsideMe
01-13-2012, 11:50 AM
OR...in a pinch you can always do my house cleaning blast workout on a saturday. It's what I do when I dont want to workout and I dont want to clean and I am procrastinating both. I set the timer for 10 minutes and powerclean. When the timer goes off I do pushups and burpees. 10 minutes cleaning. Chair dips and jumping jacks. 10 minutes etc. etc. etc. I actually get the cleaning done faster because I realize that if I dawdle I will have a few extra sets to do.

WOW that's awesome! I'm gonna do this! Thanks!

Sheridan
01-13-2012, 12:04 PM
Hi,
I hear your struggle.I had to change my mindset to get the exercise in. Instead of feeling guilty for taking the time I now pencil it in on my calendar as Preventive Health Care.

For some reason I cannot explain, this has helped me make it a priority and works for me.

Good luck. You can do it!!!!!!!

Sheridan

NEMom
01-13-2012, 12:20 PM
I could have written this post myself. When I first started my weight loss journey I kept promising myself 'Tonight when I get home from work, I am going to work out' but it would never happen, my kids or my hubby needed something, I had chores or I was tired, etc. Then the guilt cycle began, I felt guilty for not working out.
I finally decided that I am WORTH getting up early to work out. Is it easy, no, there were many days I wanted to sleep that extra hour but I pushed on and after 6 months of this I am so happy I did. I feel so much better about myself, I am proud of myself because it is hard to do but I do it 5 days a week. I feel better mentally and physically.
If you do not have exercise equipment at home, try some DVD's or buy a used piece of exercise equipment. Do it for YOURSELF because you ARE worth it.

PrettyMom09
01-13-2012, 12:27 PM
These are some great ideas! My kids are 5 and 7. I've tried taking them to the park with me for a walk, but they get very frustrated when I don't want to stop at the playground when we are the park. I do have to travel for work, so I'm gone for at least one week every month (sometimes more). One thing I plan to do is tell my boss that I will not work over time when I travel, so I can save some energy for exercise at the hotel. As far as getting advice from my aunt, she just doesn't let anything interfere with her gym time. She only works part-time jobs that she can do after her workouts. I know that is not an option for me, but I will have to find something that works for me. I have to do this, I can do this, I will do this.

flourless
01-13-2012, 12:45 PM
What about taking them to the playground after your walk? Or taking them to the playground, and while they play - you walk laps around the perimeter of the play area?

InsideMe
01-13-2012, 01:00 PM
While my kids are at the playground I do a curcuit. I do pushups on the bench, walking lunges, squats and then run on the spot knees up high for a minute, then 10 burpees, rest a minute and do about 4 reps. That way your kids can play and you can work out ;)

Mamalicious
01-13-2012, 01:12 PM
I have the same problem. One thing me and my children do is play follow the leader. My 6 year old is extremely active and very athletic. We all go to the park and me and my daughter do whatever my son does. Wow... after a half hour of this it feels like I just did cardio.

PixieChix
01-13-2012, 01:27 PM
Wow. You guys are very inspirational. I love the stories of how you make it happen no matter what.

One thing I read recently that helped me a lot was something to the effect of, "Chores, your to do list, etc. will always expand to fill the time available. They will take up as much time as you devote to them."

I am learning to tell my inner Martha Stewart that, no, that doesn't have to be done RIGHT NOW, or perfectly. She is such a tyrant. :D

ennay
01-13-2012, 02:13 PM
5 & 7 - if there is a track in your town my kids LOVE to ride bikes on the track while I run. A word of caution, make sure it is ok with the track owner. We have 4 tracks in town and 2 are ok with kids riding bikes on it (upper elementary and jr. high) and the other 2 are not because they actually put on good competition surfaces. In general if it is a pure asphalt (road type) surface they won't care. If the lane markers are clearly maintained and it is smooth and either a false surface or a fine pavement (looks softer, small pebbles look loose - like it isnt quite set) they will object.

PrettyMom09
01-13-2012, 02:20 PM
Thanks for all the wonderful ideas. It sounds like getting my kids involved on the workout might be the best choice for now. Can anybody recommend a good DVD or Wii workout?

Vivian27
01-13-2012, 05:15 PM
Wii fit is a lot of fun and you can get the kids involved. I have 3 children ages 11, 6, and 5. I have made exercise a family thing. At first, I felt like, "Oh man I don't have anyone to leave them with, oh well now I can't go for my walk." Well that negative thinking made everything seem more difficult for ME and I gained a lot of my weight back. Well now no excuses, the kids come with me to the park. We keep a football, soccerball and a frisbee in the car. I play with them, really they play with me(lol) but we have a lot of fun in the process.

Yesterday, I was peddling on my stationary bike while playing Super Mario on the Wii with my 6 year old son. We laughed, had lots of fun and by the time I was done I had peddled for 35 minutes. Funny part is I didn't even realize how long I was doing it because I was so focused on the game. You can have fun with it all. None of my kids say, "Walking, bleh." I involve them in our walks. I'll say, "Whoever gets to that tree first, goes first on the Wii," or "Skip over the rocks and sticks." Once they see me doing it, they giggle of course, then they want to do it too.

Good luck with everything. Keep in touch and let us know how it goes.

Madame Souza
01-13-2012, 09:39 PM
I just decided to be selfish this time and just have a time to work out every day. The same for meal planning, I take time to plan out what we will eat for the week. This includes breakfasts and lunches. I always make sure I have a healthy lunch packed the night before. You just say that you are going to be good to yourself and do the healthy things for yourself. This was always hard for me too. You are worth it, believe me.

PrincessSophia
01-13-2012, 11:10 PM
I have a problem not making myself a priority. I had not been able to see this before, but now that I'm thinking about it I see how much of an obstacle that is for my weight loss goal. I keep thinking that I'm going to have more time to work out once I get my closet organized, my kitchen remodeled, my living room decorated, etc. The chores never end and the demands from my kids and other family members never end either. I need help learning how to make myself a priority!!!! I work a full-time job, so I have to find time to work out either before or after work. The problem is that there is always something going in my life that takes priority over my exercise. I need to stop this once and for all. Any ideas?

PrettyMom09, I see 2 different problems here - about time and about prioritization.

I cannot help you much about second one. Probably, you should write down all daily tasks (include your exercises too) and prioritize them.

First one... Honestly, I have the same problem with time (3 kids/fulltime job/ other duties). I still try to figure out when have my exercises - morning or evening or whatever. In the same time I try to include exercises in my other duties. For example, when I play with kids in their room I try to jump with them, run up/down stairs, play hide and seek, crawl with them (it was really challenge to crawl through the simple kids tunnel). Even watching cartoons can be used. I select cartoons with a lot of music and songs. I love gigglebellies - you can dance with kids. And I try to teach my older daughter to play tennis on wii. She asked me one why I try to play wii as if it is the real big tennis - you can just sit on the chair and play. Well it just fun to play tennis on wii and imagine that it is a real tennis (and you can burn real calories :devil:). And I try to stretch when I put dishes in dishwasher and dance (and sing) when I do other stuff.

The same on the workplace, for example. I banned elevators (I am luck enough to have my office one the 6th floor and my manager's office on the 10th). I do not sit when I am on a phone call... etc

I am trying to use my car less and go to a store or spa by foot.

I know I still need to do cardio/swimming/weight tarinig but even these small small things are better than nothing.

BTW, I changed my chair to a fitness ball (at home) and probably, will do this in the office too.