Weight Loss Support - Fat forever? RANT




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Breannaj1215
01-10-2012, 08:19 AM
Im super close to giving up. Why even bother? I try so hard and do all this work to lose and u screw up one day and then your back up on the scale. I have no motivation, can never stick with a diet for more than a few weeks and i HATE the way I look. I cant afford a gym membership nor can I afford an expensive diet plan. :( help:(


lin43
01-10-2012, 08:35 AM
You do not need to join a gym or invest in an "expensive diet plan" to lose weight. You need to eat less and move more. I understand your frustration (been there, done that), but not starting a healthier lifestyle because you can't afford a gym or a commercial plan (e.g., WW, Jenny Craig) is just an excuse (not trying to be harsh---just stating a fact). No one can give you the magic pill of motivation needed to lose weight; that must come from within.
One thing that might work, though, [and I'm sure you've heard this before] is making small, everyday changes. Sometimes making grand commitments sets us up for grand failures; it's often easier to ease into healthier habits.

Best wishes!

Elliemar
01-10-2012, 08:39 AM
What lin43 said. :) Also, don't beat yourself up if you have one bad day - we all have them. Draw a line underneath it and move on. By just chipping away at it, you WILL get there. I've had plenty of hiccups in the last year, but have learnt to accept them as being a part of everyday life. As lin43 says, making small, everyday changes is one of the most effective steps to long-term change. Come on girl, you CAN do it ((()))


twinieten
01-10-2012, 08:42 AM
I hear you. I did the "why bother" thing for a long time and I found myself the biggest I had ever been in my life as a result. You have to stick with it. The scale goes up, the scale goes down. You need to pay attention to the overall results, not the day to day fluctuations.

You'll start losing, you'll start feeling better about yourself, and that will drive you do keep moving forward. Don't give up! Don't let the set backs get in your way. Just keep moving forward. It's that all or nothing frame of mind that can sabotage our efforts. You can't be perfect all the time. Deal with your bad days, and move on.

Jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups, squats, exercise DVDs, walking around the neighborhood.... you don't need a gym to exercise!

Breannaj1215
01-10-2012, 08:50 AM
Thanks ladies. I gave up reg soda so far. I just cant seem to stop eating big portions. I love the feeling of being overly full. its stupid but its the truth. i need to find a plan I can stick with. Maybe just eating every 3 hours and smaller portions will help. i just dont know. im at that point where im depressed and need to pick up my big pants and run haha

InsideMe
01-10-2012, 08:51 AM
Hun you can do it. Be kind to yourself and be easy on you. It's going to take time to get to into a new lifestyle and it isn't going to change over night. You don't need a gym membership and calorie counting is free! I started off doing this for free! If you have a bad day they just realize what you did forgive yourself and start again. I fell off the wagon SO MANY TIMES I still do, but you just keep going. That's the key. So you mess up, shrug it off realize how it made you feel so next time you will have that memory that it doesn't feel good and maybe the binge will slow down. It will take time. Go for a walk. Borrow some exercise videos from the library. You can do it!

ETA I just read your post. I use to LOVE that full feeling too. It will take time to realize what FULL is and what SATISIFIED is. Just try for now to recognize the feeling, at least you are aware of the FULL feeling! See how it makes you feel in your body. And eat more lean protein, that will fill you up faster and sustain the hunger. And yes eat every 3 hours is good too. Drink lots of water. If you find it overwhelming start slow....eat super healthy but bigger portions for now and then gradually reduce the size? Experiement and find what works for you.

Chubbykins
01-10-2012, 08:51 AM
What the people above said!

Also don't forget that after a day of less healthy eating not all what shows on the scale is fat. Some is water weight! It will come off easier if you hop back onto the wagon :D

deblosingit
01-10-2012, 09:03 AM
Be kind to yourself! Be quick to forgive your "bad days" and keep focused on your goal. No one is perfectly on plan all the time. Life happens. You deserve happiness and feeling good about yourself. Don't deny yourself this gift. Losing weight for yourself is one of the most positive things you can do. I promise you that if you just commit to it and stick with it you are going to feel an incredible sense of accomplishment and well being. It's like you are taking back control of your life instead of feeling all the time like it is out of your control.

You are in charge of you! It is hard work. It takes effort to shop for healthy foods, prepare your meals, fit in exercise. You know that you need to adopt a new way of eating. You can't expect to not change but still lose weight. You will learn new habits and this will evolve into a healthier lifestyle.

Don't give up on yourself. Take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. You can do this and you're worth it.

sontaikle
01-10-2012, 09:05 AM
Like others have said, you don't need expensive diet plans or gym memberships. I'd even argue that the diet plans are a waste of money.

I was a broke graduate student when I started out. Calorie counting is free and all of the information is available online so I went with that and dropped almost 70 pounds.

If you mess up then so what? Get right back on track for the next meal. Everyone messes up; we're not perfect after all.

I too liked the feeling of being overly full, but I slowly taught myself to eat less and realize that the being full and being satisfied are two entirely different things. You don't NEED to be full...being satisfied feels much better

twinieten
01-10-2012, 09:09 AM
I like to feel overly full too! I found that the best thing for me is, instead of eating several small meals, I eat 2 big ones, and a little one. I don't care for breakfast, so I pick. I have a small breakfast and a snack. Then I have a big lunch. That will carry be over until I have a reasonable sized dinner. When I'm really full, I'm less likely to snack or more likely to snack responsibly. You just have to find what works for you.

LondonGirl88
01-10-2012, 09:53 AM
I hear you. I did the "why bother" thing for a long time and I found myself the biggest I had ever been in my life as a result. You have to stick with it. The scale goes up, the scale goes down. You need to pay attention to the overall results, not the day to day fluctuations.

You'll start losing, you'll start feeling better about yourself, and that will drive you do keep moving forward. Don't give up! Don't let the set backs get in your way. Just keep moving forward. It's that all or nothing frame of mind that can sabotage our efforts. You can't be perfect all the time. Deal with your bad days, and move on.

Jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups, squats, exercise DVDs, walking around the neighborhood.... you don't need a gym to exercise!

Thanks for this, motivation is low today (everyday) and this is exactly what I needed to hear!

astrophe
01-10-2012, 10:06 AM
I have no motivation, can never stick with a diet for more than a few weeks .

Did you think you were going to lose 100 lbs nonstop without a break? Go at it a few weeks, take a weekend off. Then go for the next block. There's no way you can ruin it ALL in one weekend.

If you like the feel of being overfull make a list of things that won't mess you up calorie wise. Watermelon, honeydew, canteloupe, zucchinni -- all those are lower cal and kinda watery. So you can eat a lot in bulk without blowing it.

GL!
A.

Daimere
01-10-2012, 10:08 AM
First of all, do you have a local library? I am sure you can find a few books on basic nutrition there. Read up as much as you can about nutrition. I know this time I did not go to any plan (formerly WW). My plan right now is just eating healthy smaller portions and following my own body rules (limit dairy, tons of veggies, etc). The only thing I get full on is veggies. I make 2/3 of my plate veggies. I'd suggest looking up volumetrics plan too. You can combine all these things to make your own YOU diet. At the moment, I don't even count calories, I just try to make better choices.

Also, you'll start finding out being overly full isn't a good sensation. I was reading another book the other day and it said, "If you can't walk around the block after your meal, you ate too much." I binged a bit during the holidays and I didn't like the feeling anymore. It didn't feel nice at all.

Maybe even reading one of the Beck diet solution books. She goes over behaviors that you can start doing that can change how successful you are on your diet. One book has a food plan. The first book (which is what I read) doesn't. It's all about the mind which I love. One of the things this book asks you is to eat sitting down. I know I will scarf a ton of cheese in my mouth standing up by the fridge. Another thing it asks you is to read why you want to lose weight every day.

You don't have to be fat forever. You don't have to have a gym to lose weight. The first time I lost 80 pounds, I use Leslie Sansone DVDs everyday and TurboSculpt. This time I'm hula hooping and doing some weight training.

For me, weight loss doesn't work unless I accept and love myself before I start. How can I love myself at 180 if I can't love myself at 270? Weight loss doesn't solve anything. Also, I wouldn't weight yourself everyday.

My favorite motto: Progress, not perfection. If you eat one good meal today, GREAT! Give yourself credit for everything!

omgzitsmiranda
01-10-2012, 10:10 AM
Im super close to giving up. Why even bother? I try so hard and do all this work to lose and u screw up one day and then your back up on the scale. I have no motivation, can never stick with a diet for more than a few weeks and i HATE the way I look. I cant afford a gym membership nor can I afford an expensive diet plan. :( help:(

Breanna you CAN do this! Try not to look at it as "I have to lose _____ pounds to be where I wanna be" try to look at it was "I only have to lose 5 pounds to be one goal closer to where I wanna be". Or something to that extent, that's what gets me by.

Make small, achievable goals that you can get to in a timely manner. You CAN do this & I'm always here for you <3.

You don't even have to do an expensive diet; heck a lot of people just calorie count because that's what they can afford & that's what works for them. You just have to find what works for YOU.

Even if you do eat something "off diet" and it makes you up on the scale chances are the day right after it's just fluid retention, it takes longer than 1 day for a pound to actually hit in your body for *good*.

Just keep your chin up & it will get better. You've lost weight before and you CAN do it again! You can be the skinny girl that you wanna be, that we've talked about; you just have to keep your head in the game! :hug:

jeminijad
01-10-2012, 10:24 AM
I love the feeling of being overly full. its stupid but its the truth.

You need to get a PILE of veggies to go along with each meal.

If you have pasta, measure out the serving size on the package- and then mix in double that much julienned zucchini, spaghetti squash, eggplant, or other pasta like veg.

If you have a pork chop, cook just the 6 oz (or whatever your plan says) chop. Then roast an entire cut up bell pepper, onion, a whole head of broccoli, a small sweet potato, a baked apple- AS MUCH AS IT TAKES. Add a pile of spinach. You can eat tons of nonstarchy veg- literally a mixing bowl full- and it is going to do less damage than an extra baked potato, or slice of pizza.

You can work on feeling content with less food gradually, but meanwhile you will have tripled your veggie intake and fill yourself right up with minimal calories.

DezziePS
01-10-2012, 10:39 AM
I agree with jeminijad. You need to be bulking up your meals with low-cal stuff, especially at first. It always takes a while to get into the swing of things, break bad habits, and let your stomach shrink and your tastebuds adjust to not eating so much junk anymore. You can make some HUGE calorie deficits by swapping out higher cal foods for lower cal ones while still consuming the same volume of food. In fact, there was a book written about this a while back called "Volumetrics" and if you google it you can find a bunch of ideas/suggestions.

One thing that I have had to realize is that it is NORMAL to be hungry sometimes. As many people on 3FC say, "Hunger is not an emergency." I try not to get too hungry because I think that can lead me to making bad food choices, but when I started losing, I realized that I hadn't let myself get truly hungry in probably years. Losing weight is not an entirely pain-free process, you DO have to limit yourself, control yourself, and be conscious of what you are putting in your mouth.

Great job on giving up the soda. I think it is a good idea to start small and work up to bigger things, it is probably more sustainable that way. I was listening to a piece on NPR the other day and they were saying that scientists have done a bunch of studies on will power and that will power is essentially like a muscle- the more you use it, the stronger it gets and the easier it is to use. They did one study where they told people to be more conscientious of their posture for a few weeks, and at the end, the people who were watching their posture had an easier time losing weight, quitting smoking, etc., than did the people in the control group who were not told to do anything. Think of quitting soda as "practicing" for future calorie restrictions. You are gonna do great. Results don't come overnight, you just have to stick with it. You seem really young- it's great that you're doing this now. I know you know that being big will cut your life too short- that feeling of being over-full isn't worth a longer life! You can do this!

caryesings
01-10-2012, 10:40 AM
This may sound bizarre, but after a lifetime of failed dieting, I finally found success at age 49 by staying away from the scale as I started my diet. Like you, I always got discouraged by heroic effort (at least that's what it felt like to me) resulting in very little scale movement. So this last time I tracked my calories and exercise so I KNEW I was on track and didn't get on the scale for months. By the time I stepped on the scale after 3 months and found I had lost what seemed like a very low number for such a big girl, it was still a loss and I was on my way.

andrew80k
01-10-2012, 10:40 AM
Believe it or not losing fat/weight is not rocket science. You can do it. You have to choose to do it. No one is perfect so making mistakes is part of what makes us, us. Count your calories for just one day to give you a starting point of what you are taking in. Find ways to cut back on "empty" calories and add in the good stuff. Believe it or not you will fill up just as much on fruits and veggies as you will on Chips and Soda.

Two things I will add to the great stuff that people have said:

1. Stop going on a diet. Diets don't work. Change your lifestyle.
2. Use baby steps. Eat a little bit less every meal. I recommend eating more often, but you have to do what works for YOU.

carter
01-10-2012, 10:44 AM
You really have to force yourself to take a longer term view.

What matters is not whether you weigh less today than yesterday. That is simply not the way weight loss works. Even if you are flawlessly on plan - and almost none of us is ever flawless - you will still see day-to-day fluctuations that mask fat loss. Most people experience daily fluctuations of up to 2 pounds, sometimes even more. Think about it - a daily fluctuation due to fluid retention, due to digestion, due to exercise, due to any number of factors outside of your control - that fluctuation can obscure 2 weeks worth of actual fat loss!

If you measure by success by whether your weight today is less than it was yesterday, you are dooming yourself.

Instead, learn to take a longer-term view. Stick to your plan as best you can. Tweak your plan to find out what works for you, what foods keep you feeling satisfied and what foods trigger cravings for more (those are the ones to avoid). Stick to your plan. When you slip up, get right back on with the next eating opportunity. And evaluate your weight loss results not on a day-to-day basis, but by whether you weigh less than you did a week or two weeks or a month or two months ago.

So much for strategy. As a matter of tactics, I second what jeminijad said - bulk up your meals with vegetables. I, too, am a volume eater. I eat a TON of vegetables. And I mean a TON - so that my plate can be a nice heaping pile of food that I get to tuck into and fill myself with. Day to day eating can still be enjoyable. You just have to give yourself time to develop some new tricks.

PrettyMom09
01-10-2012, 11:21 AM
Thank you for starting this discussion. The ladies here are so supportive and give great advice. I am having the same problem you are having, so reading all this has been so helpful. This has already been said, but I'll say it again. I've been feeling very negative for the last two years. Always feeling like there is no point on starting a weight loss program or an exercise program if I will eventually fail. By having this attitude, I've gained over 50 pounds in less than 2 years. All I'm saying is that you have two choices, either change nothing and keep gaining weight or start doing something and start getting healthy one day at a time.

fatferretfanatic
01-10-2012, 11:30 AM
I've lost 68 pounds and I have none of the things available that you speak of. Half the time someone else was choosing the food in the house, so I had no control over that either. You can do it! I started running/walking and lifting weights because it was what we had, but you could do it entirely without equipment as well!

moonkissed
01-10-2012, 12:05 PM
Why even bother?

I just keep reminding myself of the quote:
"A year from now you'll be glad you started today."

Even if all you can do is tiny little steps toward a healthy lifestyle, it still has you moving in the right direction.

Being healthy and working out 6 days out of 7 is still better then being lazy or stuffing my face all 7 days lol!

You can do it just don't give up!!
:dust:

Munchy
01-10-2012, 01:19 PM
You need to get a PILE of veggies to go along with each meal.

If you have pasta, measure out the serving size on the package- and then mix in double that much julienned zucchini, spaghetti squash, eggplant, or other pasta like veg.

If you have a pork chop, cook just the 6 oz (or whatever your plan says) chop. Then roast an entire cut up bell pepper, onion, a whole head of broccoli, a small sweet potato, a baked apple- AS MUCH AS IT TAKES. Add a pile of spinach. You can eat tons of nonstarchy veg- literally a mixing bowl full- and it is going to do less damage than an extra baked potato, or slice of pizza.

You can work on feeling content with less food gradually, but meanwhile you will have tripled your veggie intake and fill yourself right up with minimal calories.

I agree with this advice 100%! I need to eat more than some others, and in order for me to keep within a healthy caloric range for me, I eat volume. My meals are at least half non-starchy vegetable. Soups do a great job at filling me up, and are delicious to boot.

LisaLou
01-10-2012, 04:29 PM
I saw you posted in the mfp "friend" thread. I'm going to add you so we can support each other. Every day has choices and we can choose to keep going or we can choose to give up. I recently saw a post I had in 2009, where I was ready to "start again" for the last time. Here I am, three years later, in the same spot. It's crazy to think if I had followed through, I'd be at my goal and in maintenance now.

It's one step at a time. One good choice at a time. You can do it!

DrivenByAmbition
01-16-2012, 09:44 AM
I thought you were doing weight watchers. Are you not doing that anymore?

linJber
01-16-2012, 10:11 AM
Everyone has given great advice so I won't repeat. But you have to decide what you love more - feeling overly full and hating how you look, or feeling satisfied and loving how you look. Sometimes we just have to suck it up and do it. What's harder? Being heavy and hating it or doing something about it and loving the results.

Lin