General chatter - Taking a break




View Full Version : Taking a break


kaplods
01-06-2012, 02:10 AM
Several incidents here, and IRL, have led me to conclude that I've lost my sense of humor, my compassion, and my perspective and I'm going to be taking a break from 3FC (and possibly the internet entirely) to go look for them.

Maybe I'm just *****y from being so damned hungry all of the time. On one hand, I've been able to speed up my weight loss considerably, and on the other, Evil, stressed, impatient, intolerant Colleen is re-emerging as a result. I have to find a way to supress her, without killing the rest of me in the process.

Losing 100 lbs slowly, gently, almost effortlessly has been an incredible blessing, but I'm feeling pressure from all sides (including the insides) to step up my game. I'm not sure how to do this, without Evil Colleen emerging.

Maybe I can't, and I'll have to decide that going back to slow, gentle weight loss is the way to go. Maybe I only can by being evil sometimes (not something I'm very comfortable with).

At least until I have better control over "her," I think it's best that I take a break for a while.

I want to thank everyone for all the support, and I'm sure I'll be back. Maybe in a week, a month or a year, but right now I'm not sure I'm good for 3FC (or that 3FC is good for me, right now).

Love you all,


Sinoia
01-06-2012, 02:56 AM
Just in case you pop in ...

I understand and identify and it is okay to be evil sometimes.

You only have this one life and you need to do what feels right, whether it is being here, or being away, being nice or being impatient and frustrated. Just dont be too hard on yourself.

You are amazing .. please know that. I look at your counter and I am in awe. Please be proud ... even of evil you =)

twish
01-06-2012, 03:43 AM
Kaplods,

I have so much admiration for you and what you have accomplished so far. I have appreciated the posts of yours that I have read. Please take good care of yourself and come back to us soon!


NEMom
01-06-2012, 10:15 AM
It's okay to be evil and we will still love and appreciate you for those times. I have learned so much from your posts. You are such an inspiration and many of your posts have helped me learn to love myself for who I am, no matter what weight.
Take good care of yourself!

ICUwishing
01-06-2012, 10:31 AM
Kaplods, you will be missed! You add an incredible perspective to the forum, and I have learned a great deal from you. :hug:

VickieLou
01-06-2012, 10:46 AM
Kaplods, don't let other people push you away. :congrat: on losing 101 LBS! I have learned alot from reading your posts. Think about all the people you are helping. Good Luck, with your weight loss. What is a IRL?
Hope to see you stay on the forum.

djs06
01-06-2012, 11:03 AM
I will miss you and your wonderful perspective. I understand needing a break, but you will be missed! And I selfishly hope you will be back sooner rather than later, but truly, we all want whatever is best for you. Take care of yourself! :hug:

time2lose
01-06-2012, 01:06 PM
Kaplods,

Please know that you will be greatly missed. I have been pretty much taking a break too, for different reasons than yours but still lurk when I can. I just had to comment on this post.

I identify so much with you. I have had slow weight loss too. You have been such an inspiration to me and your posts have been very helpful. FYI, when I try to rush weight loss, I mess up and usually gain instead.

Take your break, do whatever you have to do but please come back!

Riddy
01-06-2012, 01:14 PM
Kaplods,

I will miss your thoughtful posts as well. I selfishly hope you are back soon, but more importantly, I hope you find what you need. :hug: to you!

Elliemar
01-06-2012, 01:22 PM
Oh Kaplods - was it the British humour thing? :( You've been one of the stand out people on this forum for me for your excellent posts as well as your fantastic achievements. Just remember that the written word can be hard to interpret when you can't see the facial expressions of the person writing and it's easy to have misunderstandings. Please come back soon - I really will miss your posts.

theox
01-06-2012, 01:23 PM
Hey Colleen. :hug: I'm sorry to see you go (even if it's only temporarily), but you have to do what you have to do. Take care of yourself.

free1
01-06-2012, 01:43 PM
OH NOOOOO....I so look forward to your posts and have learned so much. I also like watching your ticker to see the GREAT progress you've made and are making. I know wherever you are, you'll be successful. Remember, the race isn't given to the quick or the strong but to SHE who endures to the end! I'll still be cheering you on! Hope to see you again soon....

bandit bear
01-06-2012, 03:36 PM
What is a IRL?

IRL = In Real Life

MiZTaCCen
01-06-2012, 03:54 PM
Sometimes you just need that break. Best of luck!

theCandEs
01-06-2012, 05:31 PM
:hug: Kaplods, I will miss you! Your posts have always been great, and I know because I lurk here a lot. I understand the "evil" emerging. On New Year's Day I restarted my low-carb diet. I've been pretty cranky since then, too, and not feeling great, either. I think it's "carb flu." Anyway, I hope things look up for you soon!

4myloves
01-06-2012, 06:09 PM
Hmmmmm..... I don't think I've ever been acquainted with the EEEVIL you. If anything, you've always been overly compassionate & courteous.

Maybe you should break evil on some people around here :devil:

cherrypie
01-06-2012, 07:00 PM
I will miss you posts. Hope you are back soon.

canadianwoman
01-07-2012, 12:44 AM
I will miss you but you have to take care of yourself first if you believe that is what you need to do. Good luck and Godspeed. :)

booskibabe
01-07-2012, 12:57 AM
I don't post that much, but I lurk a lot, and your posts have been wonderfully helpful for me. You've helped me to stop villianizing myself when I fail, and instead analyze what went wrong and how to fix it. You've helped me to learn that it's ok, even expected, that I won't be perfect, This is HUGE!

I wish you well and really hope that you come back to 3fc sooner than later.

HMM3
01-07-2012, 01:42 AM
Hey Kaplods

You probably don't know me .... I too appreciate all your posts .... hope you come back soon .....


Take care ... look after yourself

EZMONEY
01-07-2012, 09:28 AM
:hug:

Lori Bell
01-07-2012, 01:43 PM
Hey Kaplods. I read this thread yesterday and didn't comment. I thought about it a few times and I started to worry a little. You see, over the last couple years I have read several posts from various members very similar to this. Right off the top of my head I can think of 3 "big losers" who popped in briefly after a "break" only to report a gain of 30 to 100 pounds. In all three of the girls I'm thinking of, they tried to pick up from where they left off, only to go missing again.

My point is, please don't go missing only to lose your focus. You've come too far to throw in the towel.

You know, if I would have left 3fc the first time I offended someone here, I wouldn't have made it a month... That was the first time we "met" here! ;)

MonicaM
01-07-2012, 01:50 PM
I have not posted in some time; I have been off the eating and drinking wagon. But, I do lurk, and always look forward to anything written by you, Kaplods. I wish you well, and hope you are back sharing your wisdom and insight soon. Best of luck.

Esofia
01-07-2012, 04:06 PM
Lori - I know what you mean about not giving up the first time you get into a spat with someone, but Kaplods invests a huge amount of time and emotional energy into this board. I think taking a break is a perfectly reasonable response to the sort of forum overload which can happen to anyone. I'm sure she'll keep going to her TOPS group and her weight loss journey will continue nicely.

And I feel a bit odd talking about her in the third person like this (I've already dropped her an email), so that will probably be it.

FrouFrou
01-07-2012, 05:08 PM
You WILL be missed! Hurry back! Lots of hugs :hug:

spaghetticat
01-07-2012, 05:32 PM
You will be missed, I've loved your posts this last year. Please come back when you feel ready to! :hug: Thank you for all the advice and support you have shared!

kaplods
01-07-2012, 11:35 PM
I've received so many concerned emails from friends here, that I had to come back and explain my decision to take a sabbatical.

No one is chasing me away, and this isn't about any single incident here or in my daily life. Rather this is a decision that has been a long time coming. I've become very attached to 3FC, so attached that I've not always used my best judgement when it comes to the time and energies I invest here.

I've realized that there are a lot of areas in my life (3FC is only one of them) in which I've been spinning my wheels. Putting way too much energy into strategies that aren't working, and not enough energy into those that are.

I am not giving up on weight loss, far from it. I'm just re-evaluating my strategies and rechanneling my energies into getting the best return on my time investment.

My break from 3FC is not a break from my food plan, my exercise plan, or my TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) weight loss group. Quite the contrary.

I've been taking on a much more active role in my TOPS chapter (running some of the programs and monthly contests, for example), and my husband and I have joined another acheivement program at our YMCA and we've begun having a daily "staff meeting" every morning to discuss our short-term and long-range goals, so they don't get lost "in the shuffle."

I'm more committed to my goals than ever, I've just come to a tipping point, where my efforts have to be more action-based. I have more strength and stamina to get more done physically - but doing it hasn't become habit yet.

When I started, I didn't have the physical or mental strength to do much more than spend my time here (and it was a great use of my time). However, I've gotten so used to spending so much of my day here, that what was a good habit, has become a less good one. I'm allowing myself to be pulled into 3FC discussions and debates, not as a benefit to me, or even to others, but as a distraction or a way to avoid less pleasant but more necessary goals (like getting to the gym, whether or not it's cold outside and whether or not I'd rather be here chatting).

Chubbykins
01-08-2012, 01:37 PM
Good luck and have fun! You will most certainly be missed :hug:

chickadee32
01-08-2012, 09:12 PM
Kaplods, your regular presence and posts here will be missed by many, myself included. I am glad to read though that you are taking the break to do what is good for YOU. :) I wish you all the best, and hope we'll see you around again from time to time. :hug:

losermom
01-09-2012, 08:33 AM
Hugs Colleen! Even a hug for your evil twin, Evil Colleen! I really understand your need to explore other outside, more productive, activities. Please know that we look forward to your posts when you return. :)

MissGuided
01-09-2012, 09:00 PM
I enjoyed reading your helpful posts. They'll be missed. Take care! :hug:

fatferretfanatic
01-09-2012, 11:45 PM
<3 Miss you, lovely lady!

astrophe
01-10-2012, 01:36 AM
:hug:

A.

ArtyKay
01-10-2012, 05:31 AM
:hug: you will definitely be missed! <3

bargoo
01-10-2012, 08:39 AM
I will miss you and I wish you the best of luck and hope you will be back. Bless you.

natamars
01-11-2012, 01:39 PM
You contribute tremendoulsly to these boards and I'm sure it takes an awful lot of your time. I hope you have a wonderful break where you can focus on what you need, and that we see you back here again soon.

kaplods
01-23-2012, 10:25 PM
I'm back - on a trial basis.

I have to say that the break has done me a world of good. I have popped in occasionally to lurk, but I don't "live here" any more, and that's been a really good thing. Hubby and I are definitely connecting more and I've even made some progress on my novel, and been able to devote more energy and effort into me. I do miss the boards though, so I'm going to try limiting posting to Monday evenings, and see how that goes.

If I get obsessive or over-stressed again, I'll have to re-evaluate whether once a week is still "too much."

djs06
01-24-2012, 11:17 AM
Glad to hear it! Welcome back. :grouphug:

losermom
01-25-2012, 09:08 PM
Everyone needs a break once in a while. It's great that in your absence you found positive things happening for you and DH and recognize a tendency to overdo 3fc. Welcome back!

astrophe
01-25-2012, 11:19 PM
Glad you are finding a better balance.

GL!
A.

JudgeDread
01-26-2012, 10:09 AM
I'm back - on a trial basis.

I have to say that the break has done me a world of good. I have popped in occasionally to lurk, but I don't "live here" any more, and that's been a really good thing. Hubby and I are definitely connecting more and I've even made some progress on my novel, and been able to devote more energy and effort into me. I do miss the boards though, so I'm going to try limiting posting to Monday evenings, and see how that goes.

If I get obsessive or over-stressed again, I'll have to re-evaluate whether once a week is still "too much."

I got a good friend and her husband that live in your neck of the woods! She just had a baby and if she has time I am sure she'd like to get on track to lose her baby weight. That is if your looking for a workout pal.

Karen925
01-26-2012, 08:01 PM
I am glad you have found your space and are back to 3FC in way that is good for you. I enjoy your posts greatly! Thank you for being you:hug:

kaplods
01-26-2012, 09:40 PM
It's good to be back, but I am finding it hard to stick to my once-a-week limit - but at least I'm now spending most of my time offline. So it's still progress.


I got a good friend and her husband that live in your neck of the woods! She just had a baby and if she has time I am sure she'd like to get on track to lose her baby weight. That is if your looking for a workout pal.

I'm disabled with some serious physical limitations, so unless your friend is also disabled (and pretty much identically disabled) a workout partnershp probably wouldn't work out.

My husband and I are both similarly disabled, and we still find it difficult to work out together, because of the slight differences. For example, I can walk much further/longer than hubby, but we can't keep pace with each other, because of his long legs. It's hard for him to walk slow enough and for me to walk fast enough to keep a pace that we both are comfortable with. So we go to the gym together, but pretty much go our seperate ways until we meet up at the whirlpool at the end of our workouts.

However, I bet your friend would love TOPS, either the group nearest her, or our Tuesday night Schofield group. She (or anyone in the area) can find our meeting, or other groups on the tops.org website's meeting locator page:

http://www.tops.org/FindAMeeting.aspx

Our group is a lot of fun, and it's the largest in the Wausau/Schofield area. We also do a lot of contests, and have the most diverse membership (age, gender, and weight wise).

The Monday night Wausa group is a nice bunch of ladies too (I was a member a couple years ago), but the group is smaller and more low key (and might be a better fit for your friend if she is shy or quiet). The other Schofield group is very small and doesn't do many contests or activities at all. From my visit, I got the impression that it was primarily a weigh-in group, only a few members actually stay for the meeting. When I visitied, only four members stayed for the meeting, which I was told was fairly typical (their entire membership was only about a dozen).

If she wants to try our Tuesday meeting, this coming Tuesday (1/31) would be a great opportunity, because there probably will be other new people (we're earning contest points for bringing a guest to the meeting).

Visiting is free, and there's no pressure to join. In fact, if anyone else in the area is interested, feel free to come by. It's a really fun group.

Riddy
01-26-2012, 10:26 PM
Glad you're back, Kaplods. Love the new pic!