Beck Diet Solution - Checkin




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va1erie
12-22-2011, 10:12 AM
Daily check-in thread for a couple of people who are each others' diet buddies on the Beck plan. If you're looking for a diet buddy/coach, click here:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution-234/

to find the forum called

Beck Diet For Life/Solution – (current month) – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach


va1erie
12-22-2011, 10:18 AM
report: didn't read my cards yesterday and forgot AGAIN to weigh this morning. I have got to figure that out -- it's really bothering me that I'm "forgetting" to weigh so often. Ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, though I did eat fudge and cookies that the neighbors dropped off. The problem with making truffles and distributing them is that people reciprocate and I end up with too many goodies in the house. :) Ah, well. The holidays are almost over and my weight is still well under goal (or was yesterday) so I am actually feeling pretty good.



In addition to not posting because I was so busy, I also wasn't posting because I found myself once again in a desperate daily struggle with my eating, and I was feeling too hopeless and ashamed to reach out for help. We probably don't really need to talk about the fact this is counterproductive? :)

Thinking about the possibility of dating (I have gotten some nibbles on eHarmony but have not yet had the courage to try reeling any of them in!!) brought out all of the old core issues that underlie my eating problems, issues I thought I had laid to rest long ago. There have been moments in the past few weeks when I have wanted to totally give up, but then I read my advantages deck and remind myself of all the very compelling reasons I want to be thin, which gets me back on track for a couple of days. But it doesn't last, and that scares the crap out of me. I don't want to go back to my old life. I CAN'T go back. The biggest lesson I have learned in the last few weeks is just how right Beck is when she says that the pain is in the struggle to DECIDE whether or not to eat something. I am arguing with myself for hours over what to eat or not eat, and man, is it painful. I need to remember the NO CHOICE lesson. Maybe even repeat some of the exercises?

There have been a couple of bright spots amid all of my recent angst. I sang my solo in church last Sunday, and it went extremely well, better than I could have hoped for. I am very proud that I really put myself out there. And I have made amazing progress with my personal trainer, who is pushing me really hard at this point. This week, for instance, he timed me while I repeatedly climbed a staircase THREE steps at a time!!! And I had my regular semi-annual visit to my GP. My diabetes is still in complete remission, and he told me that he has never had a patient so completely transform their health and lifestyle. So that's actually a lot of bright spots. The muscles in your legs must be excellent! :) Glad the singing went well, and of course the diabetes. Put what your doctor said into your memory box.

He also referred me to an oncologist for input on what to do about my high risk of breast cancer. I have an appointment scheduled for the middle of January. Fingers crossed.

With the exception of working hard in the gym, I have let a lot of my Beck skills slide recently, and it is really scary and demoralizing to see just how easy it is to backslide. I've had several binges, have eaten in the car and standing at the refrigerator, have weighed myself only sporadically, and have not always planned my food in advance, which has been particularly problematic given the holiday goodies that seem to be everywhere I go. Thankfully they're over soon. It's only ten more days until the new year. When these binges happen, what is the process? Are you binging on NS desserts, or what?

After every episode of unplanned eating, I have managed to get back on track for a couple of days before the next episode, so the damage to my weight is still manageable at this point (I weighed 131 this morning)--assuming I don't let things get out of hand any further. So you know you can get back on track, even if it only lasts a few days each time at this point. And you've now proven to yourself that getting off track ISN'T a catastrophe and doesn't immediately signal the beginning of the end.

I am taking my Nutrisystem food, my scale, and my computer with me to my brother's house so that I can get back on track. One good thing about going there is that my SIL has maintained a 30 pound weight loss for several years now. She is extremely careful about what she eats and goes to the gym almost every day. So I will go to the gym with her, and I do not have to worry about her pushing food on me. And hopefully I will be able to catch up on some sleep. Part of my problem is simply that I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Is your SIL someone you can share with at all?

va1erie
12-23-2011, 05:11 AM
Report: didn't read my cards, weighed (2.4 under goal, ack! Need a low day today but I'm giving a party tonight so it'll be tough.) Ate slowly and mindfully, skipping the food at a party last night and having only one glass of wine there, but then I had more wine when I got back home and of course a wine-induced snackfest which is probably where the 2.6 gained since yesterday comes in.

Thanks for calling to check in last night while you were on the road! Hope the rest of the journey was uneventful.


4EverLearning
12-23-2011, 10:40 AM
report: didn't read my cards yesterday and forgot AGAIN to weigh this morning. I have got to figure that out -- it's really bothering me that I'm "forgetting" to weigh so often. Ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, though I did eat fudge and cookies that the neighbors dropped off. The problem with making truffles and distributing them is that people reciprocate and I end up with too many goodies in the house. :) Ah, well. The holidays are almost over and my weight is still well under goal (or was yesterday) so I am actually feeling pretty good.

Since I haven't been reading posts, I didn't know you had been forgetting to weigh. Can you move the scale to a more visible location, or put a reminder on your bathroom mirror? And YAY YOU for being so far under your goal at this time of year! That's an awesome accomplishment!

We probably don't really need to talk about the fact this is counterproductive? :)

Ummmm........no. :)

Maybe even repeat some of the exercises?

Definitely. When I get home, I am going to start all over again at the beginning.

So that's actually a lot of bright spots. The muscles in your legs must be excellent! :) Glad the singing went well, and of course the diabetes. Put what your doctor said into your memory box.

Yep, I have some killer muscles in my legs! My calves are so ridged and sculpted that I keep cutting myself when I shave my legs--too many bumps! The singing was awesome. I was just beyond tickled. Pretty amazing for the girl who was afraid to make noise. I am going to put that in my memory box along with the comment that my doctor made.

Fingers crossed.

Yeah. I have pushed that issue way to the back of my mind. But it's not going to go away. :(

Thankfully they're over soon. It's only ten more days until the new year. When these binges happen, what is the process? Are you binging on NS desserts, or what?

Yep, it's NS desserts every time--like 8-12 at a clip. The fact that it's "diet" food makes me feel like there is a line I have not crossed (at least I'm not eating my old binge foods), but of course the calories still add up, and I am still strengthening my giving-in muscle. :(

So you know you can get back on track, even if it only lasts a few days each time at this point. And you've now proven to yourself that getting off track ISN'T a catastrophe and doesn't immediately signal the beginning of the end.

This could have been the beginning of the end. In fact it felt more like the middle of the end at times. But I feel much, much better now that I reached out. Just the fact that I am now committed to daily communication will go a long way--I'm much less likely to gobble 10 desserts if I have to tell you about it later!! :o

Is your SIL someone you can share with at all?

She's not someone I could share deep emotional stuff with (although she and my niece did mention last night that they thought I should try online dating, so that would have been a natural opening!), but she is very supportive of healthy eating, is very knowledgeable about nutrition, and is an excellent cook, too. Just this morning she had me try Greek yogurt for breakfast, with fresh strawberries. I had never tried Greek yogurt before, and it was really good. It's so nice to open her refrigerator and see all kinds of fresh fruit and fresh vegetables all cut up and sorted into baggies (mostly for the party this afternoon, but still....).

4EverLearning
12-23-2011, 11:09 AM
Report: didn't read my cards, weighed (2.4 under goal, ack! Need a low day today but I'm giving a party tonight so it'll be tough.) Ate slowly and mindfully, skipping the food at a party last night and having only one glass of wine there, but then I had more wine when I got back home and of course a wine-induced snackfest which is probably where the 2.6 gained since yesterday comes in.

Thanks for calling to check in last night while you were on the road! Hope the rest of the journey was uneventful.

I'm confused. When did the snackfest occur? After we talked on the phone? You could not possibly have eaten enough extra calories to gain 2.6 pounds, though. I know that much! It will quickly disappear. Make a plan for the party tonight.

My Exerspy said I burned up over 1800 calories yesterday, which surprised me considering that I was in the car most of the day. Since I only ate 1210, I was definitely in deficit. I weighed 130.2 this morning (down .6). I read my cards last night before bed.

OK, let's hope I can submit this. I am getting very frustrated with this. The last time the page crashed, a window popped up saying I was exceeding my memory capacity, which I don't get at all.

Have a wonderful day today!

va1erie
12-24-2011, 11:45 AM
I'm confused. When did the snackfest occur? After we talked on the phone? You could not possibly have eaten enough extra calories to gain 2.6 pounds, though. I know that much! It will quickly disappear. Make a plan for the party tonight. I'd actually had a mini snackfest before we spoke -- it wasn't too bad, though. Mostly it's just salt. BUT I again didn't weigh this morning -- grr! The problem is that I'm often rising before my husband and don't want to wake him, and I'm out of the bedroom before I weigh. Ate reasonably yesterday, even though the party was here. Went to my class in the morning, walked there and back even though it's been cold, yay me! No class next week as the instructor/trainer is on vacation, so I need to work out alone. Probably a combination of the treadmill, dumbbells, maybe pushups and planks here at home.

My Exerspy said I burned up over 1800 calories yesterday, which surprised me considering that I was in the car most of the day. Since I only ate 1210, I was definitely in deficit. I weighed 130.2 this morning (down .6). I read my cards last night before bed. So, yay for being down a bit! And for reading your cards.

Hope you had a good day!

Val

4EverLearning
12-24-2011, 09:52 PM
I'd actually had a mini snackfest before we spoke -- it wasn't too bad, though. Mostly it's just salt. BUT I again didn't weigh this morning -- grr! The problem is that I'm often rising before my husband and don't want to wake him, and I'm out of the bedroom before I weigh. Ate reasonably yesterday, even though the party was here. Went to my class in the morning, walked there and back even though it's been cold, yay me! No class next week as the instructor/trainer is on vacation, so I need to work out alone. Probably a combination of the treadmill, dumbbells, maybe pushups and planks here at home.

So, yay for being down a bit! And for reading your cards.

Hope you had a good day!

Val

I have to type fast--this is the first time I've been able to load this page in at least 25 tries!!

As for your scale, can you move it out of the bedroom? Good for you for eating "reasonably well" at the party and for planning your workout for when your instructor is away. I kinda like walking in the cold; I find it refreshing. I took a really long walk in the cold one day about two weeks ago (one of the days when I was trying really hard to get back on track).

Today we all went to the gym in the morning. My brother hadn't been in a long time but was inspired to go because I was going, so that was nice! i couldn't believe how small, cramped, and crowded the gym was compared to the one I go to. I guess that's the difference in the price of real estate in OH vs. NJ!

This afternoon my SIL and spent the whole day shopping and had a great time. The only problem was that we stayed out much longer than we had anticipated and I hadn't planned for it or brought food, and neither had my SIL. We ended up so insanely hungry that we ended up going to the food court, where everything was already closed up for the day except for an Asian place. We ordered a portion of chicken and broccoli with green beans instead of rice and shared it, but everything was drowning in oil. It was actually kind of gross. I have no idea how many calories would have been in that, but counting it as 700 (seems like a worst case scenario, since I only ate half the portion), I ate no more than 1500 calories today and have already burned over 1600, so I should be OK. My weight was up .4 this morning (130.6).

On the long drive home from shopping, my SIL and I had a good talk about Bethy and my other friends' reactions to my weight loss. I was actually surprised at the extent to which she understood the issues. We talked about the possibility of me dating, too.

I am going to an 11PM church service tonight by myself, which will be a little sad for me, but it would just seem wrong to me not to go at all. My SIL and the one niece who is here tonight are Jewish, my brother couldn't care less about church, and my other niece is with her in-laws out of town tonight.

I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!

OK, my fingers are crossed that this page won't crash when I hit submit!

va1erie
12-25-2011, 08:04 AM
Typing fast, too, as I've got a gazillion things to do before folks start showing up. Weighed this morning, although I almost forgot -- 2.4 below goal, which is scary up but it's unlikely I'll have a low day today. Oh, well, move on. Got no exercise, but ate slowly and mindfully yesterday even though Christmas Eve is our traditional "Bring in crap takeout food" night.



As for your scale, can you move it out of the bedroom? Unfortunately the only place to move it would be to the kids' bathroom, where I'd be even less likely to remember it in the morning. I just have to be more diligent. I almost forgot this morning but went back in as quietly as I could and did it, yay me!

Good for you for eating "reasonably well" at the party and for planning your workout for when your instructor is away. I kinda like walking in the cold; I find it refreshing. I took a really long walk in the cold one day about two weeks ago (one of the days when I was trying really hard to get back on track). I love walking in the cold! Maybe I can get the hubs to walk with me -- he likes walking a lot, and he's off all next week. And he'll keep me moving fast with his long legs. :)

Today we all went to the gym in the morning. My brother hadn't been in a long time but was inspired to go because I was going, so that was nice! i couldn't believe how small, cramped, and crowded the gym was compared to the one I go to. I guess that's the difference in the price of real estate in OH vs. NJ! How fun to have a family gym day! :)

This afternoon my SIL and spent the whole day shopping and had a great time. The only problem was that we stayed out much longer than we had anticipated and I hadn't planned for it or brought food, and neither had my SIL. We ended up so insanely hungry that we ended up going to the food court, where everything was already closed up for the day except for an Asian place. We ordered a portion of chicken and broccoli with green beans instead of rice and shared it, but everything was drowning in oil. It was actually kind of gross. I have no idea how many calories would have been in that, but counting it as 700 (seems like a worst case scenario, since I only ate half the portion), I ate no more than 1500 calories today and have already burned over 1600, so I should be OK. My weight was up .4 this morning (130.6). Actually sounds like a very reasonable decision to me, especially when it's not likely to happen often.

On the long drive home from shopping, my SIL and I had a good talk about Bethy and my other friends' reactions to my weight loss. I was actually surprised at the extent to which she understood the issues. We talked about the possibility of me dating, too. I suspect most women have had a similar experience of learning that a trusted friend wasn't trustworthy. I certainly have, and Jane already has. Not a happy thing to be able to share, but it's good to be able to find empathy.

I am going to an 11PM church service tonight by myself, which will be a little sad for me, but it would just seem wrong to me not to go at all. My SIL and the one niece who is here tonight are Jewish, my brother couldn't care less about church, and my other niece is with her in-laws out of town tonight. Hope the church service was good, even though no one went with you.

Hope you have a great day! Do any of your brother's family celebrate Christmas at all, or will this be a Jews-Go-To-The-Movies-And-Chinese kind of day?

4EverLearning
12-26-2011, 01:30 AM
Typing fast, too, as I've got a gazillion things to do before folks start showing up. Weighed this morning, although I almost forgot -- 2.4 below goal, which is scary up but it's unlikely I'll have a low day today. Oh, well, move on. Got no exercise, but ate slowly and mindfully yesterday even though Christmas Eve is our traditional "Bring in crap takeout food" night.

LOL on the "bring in crap takeout food" night--what a wonderful family tradition!!:D



Unfortunately the only place to move it would be to the kids' bathroom, where I'd be even less likely to remember it in the morning. I just have to be more diligent. I almost forgot this morning but went back in as quietly as I could and did it, yay me!

Nope, that wouldn't work!

I love walking in the cold! Maybe I can get the hubs to walk with me -- he likes walking a lot, and he's off all next week. And he'll keep me moving fast with his long legs. :)

Good plan! I noticed this week that I can easily keep up with my brother, who is much taller than I am and walks fast. I used to struggle to walk anywhere with him.

How fun to have a family gym day! :)

It really was fun! Made me wish I have someone to go to the gym with at home.

Actually sounds like a very reasonable decision to me, especially when it's not likely to happen often.

I guess it must not have been as bad a choice as I thought, since my weight was down .8 this morning!

I suspect most women have had a similar experience of learning that a trusted friend wasn't trustworthy. I certainly have, and Jane already has. Not a happy thing to be able to share, but it's good to be able to find empathy.

Sadly, I'm sure that is true. What I was amazed at was how readily she understood how I feel about my friends pushing me to eat. She even understood exactly what I had meant by the "trashbag full of popcorn" comment that set Bethy off; she instantly got that I found the food repulsive but not Bethy for eating it.

Hope the church service was good, even though no one went with you.

It turned out to be a very small church with only about 20 people in attendance, so I felt a little like an interloper breaking into a very established group. But it was an absolutely beautiful, perfect service, and everyone there was extremely friendly and welcoming to me. It was actually a very good experience.

Hope you have a great day! Do any of your brother's family celebrate Christmas at all, or will this be a Jews-Go-To-The-Movies-And-Chinese kind of day?

We were going to go to the movies but ended up just hanging out here instead. My brother's family does celebrate Christmas. When the kids were little, they celebrated both Hannukah and Christmas, but basically just the getting-presents parts! When my mother was alive, we always had Christmas at her house. Since my mother has been gone, my brother's family has put up a tree here, decorated with all of the ornaments from my family, going back to when we were little. We just finished opening gifts a little while ago, and everyone is on their way to bed now.

My SIL, my niece, and I spent a couple of hours this afternoon going through bags of their old clothes, which they'd put aside to donate. I ended up with a big bag of stuff to take home (all expensive designer stuff in great condition), including some adorable skirts that my niece wore in 9th grade!

I haven't read the data from my Exerspy yet today and am afraid to leave this page in order to do that, lest I can't get back to it. It's been a pretty sedentary day, but I doubt I took in more calories than I burned, since I ate around 1300. (What we all ate for dinner was baked salmon, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, and sweet potatoes [of which I only ate about two tablespoons]--definitely the healthiest Christmas dinner I have ever had!)

I read my cards last night before I went to sleep and will do so again right now. Tomorrow I am leaving to meet Bev in PA. I will check in tomorrow night, though, either here or by email. It seems that this page is less likely to crash late at night, so maybe the issue has something to do with the number of people who are on the site at once?

Hope you had a magical Christmas!

va1erie
12-26-2011, 10:46 AM
Weighed (4 under goal, so somehow 1.6 dropped off overnight even though we had two holiday meals yesterday), no exercise except for that I got dealing with putting said meals together, ate reasonably though I did eat quite a few things standing up.

LOL on the "bring in crap takeout food" night--what a wonderful family tradition!!:D Yes, we've been doing that for years. Our other embarrassing holiday tradition is "Frozen appetizer junk while decorating the Christmas Tree" night. :) Everyone gets to pick one appetizer from the frozen section and we set them out and put Christmas music on while we decorate the tree. I'm not sure how these got started, but I suspect there was pure laziness involved, as I do a LOT of heavy cooking days during the holidays.

Good plan! I noticed this week that I can easily keep up with my brother, who is much taller than I am and walks fast. I used to struggle to walk anywhere with him. Oh, very cool!

It really was fun! Made me wish I have someone to go to the gym with at home. Maybe you can find a gym buddy! Have you tried any classes after the disastrous Zoomba? You might like spinning. No coordination required.

I guess it must not have been as bad a choice as I thought, since my weight was down .8 this morning! Yay!

Sadly, I'm sure that is true. What I was amazed at was how readily she understood how I feel about my friends pushing me to eat. She even understood exactly what I had meant by the "trashbag full of popcorn" comment that set Bethy off; she instantly got that I found the food repulsive but not Bethy for eating it. Exactly. I am sure this is something many, many women who have lost weight and kept it off can understand.

It turned out to be a very small church with only about 20 people in attendance, so I felt a little like an interloper breaking into a very established group. But it was an absolutely beautiful, perfect service, and everyone there was extremely friendly and welcoming to me. It was actually a very good experience. So glad!

We were going to go to the movies but ended up just hanging out here instead.

My SIL, my niece, and I spent a couple of hours this afternoon going through bags of their old clothes, which they'd put aside to donate. I ended up with a big bag of stuff to take home (all expensive designer stuff in great condition), including some adorable skirts that my niece wore in 9th grade! Fun!

I haven't read the data from my Exerspy yet today and am afraid to leave this page in order to do that, lest I can't get back to it. It's been a pretty sedentary day, but I doubt I took in more calories than I burned, since I ate around 1300. (What we all ate for dinner was baked salmon, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, and sweet potatoes [of which I only ate about two tablespoons]--definitely the healthiest Christmas dinner I have ever had!) Wow, sounds VERY healthy! Good for you guys! I got a new appliance for Christmas, a sous vide machine, which is basically a water oven. You put the food into a pouch and submerge it into water being held at the temperature the food cooks perfectly at -- for instance, for the turkey breast I was cooking, the water is set at 147 degrees, which is the temperature at which white meat turkey is perfectly cooked -- and then when you're ready to eat, you finish the food by quickly roasting or searing at a very high temp to get that nice browning. BEST TURKEY I'VE EVER MADE. And so simple and forgiving (you almost CAN'T overcook anything, because it takes the food to the correct temperature and holds it there so that even if you leave it in the machine for an extra HOUR it doesn't cook any further), literally anyone could do this and turn out perfect food every time.

I read my cards last night before I went to sleep and will do so again right now. Tomorrow I am leaving to meet Bev in PA. I will check in tomorrow night, though, either here or by email. It seems that this page is less likely to crash late at night, so maybe the issue has something to do with the number of people who are on the site at once? That could definitely be the problem, though I'd have thought I'd be having it too. Maybe it's also the time of year, too -- lots of folks thinking about starting diets soon. :) Most gyms and diet forums see a huge jump in traffic as the holidays wind down.

Have fun with Bev! I'll be interested to hear how it goes. I know she's pretty consistently expressed concern, to the point it's gotten tedious for you. Hope she feels reassured when she sees you're actually quite healthy. :)

Wednesday: report -- weighed, yay! 2.4 under goal, should have a low day but we're probably going out tonight to play trivia so I might not. The holidays will be over soon, and it looks like I'll stay under goal so I'm still pretty happy. Didn't exercise, grr. Maybe I'll haul the hubs out for a walk today.

Thursday: report -- weighed, yay! 2.4 under goal. Had a low day, so maybe tomorrow I'll be headed back down. Didn't exercise.

Monday Jan 2: weighed (3 under goal, yay!), went to my class, yay! It felt good to be back at class after a week off -- I missed it, and as I didn't get ANY exercise in the week the class was off, I know I really need the discipline the scheduled class offers me.

Tues: weighed (2.2 under goal, up .8 from yesterday, grr), ate slowly and mindfully and reasonably all day and then had a wine-induced snackfest. I hate that.

4EverLearning
01-04-2012, 10:28 PM
Obviously I got my computer back today. Other than just routine maintenance, the issues I was having were entirely due to a problem with this site. The technician said he actually contacted someone at this site who told him that lots of people are having problems with it and they are working to correct the problem. My fingers are crossed that they did in fact fix it, since I was able to get on here on the first try. :D

Weighed 128.8 this morning (up .8, probably due to the personal training session yesterday. Had a perfect NS day and am feeling in control. I read my cards, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not exercise, contacted my diet buddy--and hopefully will be able to do so via this site daily from now on!

va1erie
01-05-2012, 08:50 AM
Yay! You're back! And your front, and both sides! :D

Obviously I got my computer back today. Other than just routine maintenance, the issues I was having were entirely due to a problem with this site. The technician said he actually contacted someone at this site who told him that lots of people are having problems with it and they are working to correct the problem. My fingers are crossed that they did in fact fix it, since I was able to get on here on the first try. :D Well, I'm glad it wasn't a virus or something. How strange that so many people are having major issues while some of us aren't having any at all with the site.

Weighed 128.8 this morning (up .8, probably due to the personal training session yesterday. Had a perfect NS day and am feeling in control. I read my cards, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not exercise, contacted my diet buddy--and hopefully will be able to do so via this site daily from now on!

Yay for feeling in control, and for recognizing that the .8 up was probably due to the training session instead of letting it make you anxious.

Report: weighed (yay, me) and ack, I'm at 1 under goal. I am noticing that at this weight, I my bra and jeans start to feel binding late in the day and I want to change into my jammies early. Amazing the difference just a few pounds can make in whether fitted clothing feels comfortable. It's not that these three or four pounds make me a size bigger -- the bra and jeans still fit, and the jeans aren't tight when I put them on -- but late in the day, I'm just feeling like I want them off. This isn't true just three or four pounds lighter. It's actually making me wonder if I ought to lower my hard stop weight another pound to 116.

This is the highest I've been, and uncomfortably close to goal, so I've decided I'm going to do a 5-day shakes-and-bars cleanse. It'll do multiple things for me -- I'll almost certainly lose weight while I do it, plus it's low-glycemic and will get me back to cravings-free, which after the past month and a half or so of eating bad carbs almost daily, I need. It's interesting that I don't feel huge anxiety over it, just a sense that okay, I need to do something about this. These five-day cleanses are a drag. Shakes three times a day at mealtimes, bars three times a day at snack times. But it really does work. I often find that within 2 days or so my cravings are gone and it starts to feel like too much food, and I end up skipping the third bar because by the time I'm ready for bed, I'm still feeling full from "dinner." Didn't exercise yesterday because I had a really rotten night's sleep and was finally dropping off around 3:30 so I unset my alarm. Probably won't exercise today as we have worker in our basement where my treadmill is. (Our dishwasher sprang a leak and leaked through the kitchen floor and into the basement before we'd realized it was happening. What a mess.)

This achiness is still with me -- it seems to be worse early in the day. I wake up feeling so achey it's hard to get out of bed, but now (three hours later) it's somewhat better, and it seems to me last night it was fine when I went to bed. I don't think it's exercise related. I'm going to keep track of how bad it is today, and I think I'm going to make an appointment to see the doc and find out what's going on.

Answering your email here: Jane's better most of the time, fingers crossed. She still has her ups and downs, but they seem more "normal." She missed a dose a few days ago and had a bad episode a day later, so we think the meds are definitely helping and that she's probably very sensitive to missing them if a single missed dose could make a difference.

Re: the 20 guy pushups. I want to get to that point, then make one of my daily habits doing those pushups. I read somewhere that one test of "fitness" is whether you can do 20 pushups, and that it's something everyone should be able to do no matter your age or gender because your ability to do it is keyed to your body weight, endurance and recovery rates, & your proportion of muscle to fat, but it's something that even very lean marathoners can't always do because their training often ignores their upper body. It's sort of a sign of overall fitness. One of the other tests of fitness is to be able to run a mile and then recover your breath/have your heart rate normalize within a certain time after finishing, but that's one's harder for me because of my knees. When I get my knees replaced, that'll be on my list.

4EverLearning
01-06-2012, 12:11 AM
Yay! You're back! And your front, and both sides! :D

LOL!!

Well, I'm glad it wasn't a virus or something. How strange that so many people are having major issues while some of us aren't having any at all with the site.

I think the problem was specific to certain browsers.



Yay for feeling in control, and for recognizing that the .8 up was probably due to the training session instead of letting it make you anxious.

My weight was unchanged today, but I'm fine with it. I suspect that I also might have been a little dehydrated, after losing 2.6 pounds in one day--a record for me!

Report: weighed (yay, me) and ack, I'm at 1 under goal. I am noticing that at this weight, I my bra and jeans start to feel binding late in the day and I want to change into my jammies early. Amazing the difference just a few pounds can make in whether fitted clothing feels comfortable. It's not that these three or four pounds make me a size bigger -- the bra and jeans still fit, and the jeans aren't tight when I put them on -- but late in the day, I'm just feeling like I want them off. This isn't true just three or four pounds lighter. It's actually making me wonder if I ought to lower my hard stop weight another pound to 116.

Yep, definitely time to do something. I know exactly what you mean about a few pounds making such a noticeable difference. In the old days, I could easily gain 10 pounds and not notice, but now I can feel every pound. I find it interesting that you are having the same experience, given that you were never even close to as heavy as I was. What do you see as being the function of your hard-stop weight? And what would lowering it by one pound mean for you? Based on my recent experience, I think I would recommend that you don't lower your hard-stop until you are a few pounds lighter so that you don't find yourself suddenly over that weight (which could easily happen, given daily fluctuations). Are you still graphing your weight so that you can see the overall trend? (I stopped doing that a long time ago but am thinking it might be a good idea to start again, at least for a while.) I think it is very significant that you are not anxious about being so close to your hard-stop. Recognizing that you need to do something about it, without panicking or beating yourself up about it, is something to celebrate! YAY YOU!

This is the highest I've been, and uncomfortably close to goal, so I've decided I'm going to do a 5-day shakes-and-bars cleanse. It'll do multiple things for me -- I'll almost certainly lose weight while I do it, plus it's low-glycemic and will get me back to cravings-free, which after the past month and a half or so of eating bad carbs almost daily, I need. It's interesting that I don't feel huge anxiety over it, just a sense that okay, I need to do something about this. These five-day cleanses are a drag. Shakes three times a day at mealtimes, bars three times a day at snack times. But it really does work. I often find that within 2 days or so my cravings are gone and it starts to feel like too much food, and I end up skipping the third bar because by the time I'm ready for bed, I'm still feeling full from "dinner." Didn't exercise yesterday because I had a really rotten night's sleep and was finally dropping off around 3:30 so I unset my alarm. Probably won't exercise today as we have worker in our basement where my treadmill is. (Our dishwasher sprang a leak and leaked through the kitchen floor and into the basement before we'd realized it was happening. What a mess.)

What kind of bars and shakes do you use, and what is their nutritional composition (just curious!)? (By the way, have you seen the brouhaha over on the NS site about the addition of mandatory protein shakes? I'm not sure how I feel about that change.) So was today your first day on this cleanse? How did it go? Bummer on the dishwasher AND for its effect on your exercising!

For the very first time, I missed a personal training session today, for the same reason you missed your class. I just couldn't sleep last night (even though I didn't feel particularly anxious) and didn't drop off until around 7AM. I didn't think I'd make it through a session on 90 minutes of sleep, so when my alarm rang at 8:30, I got up and canceled my appointment and then went back to sleep.

This achiness is still with me -- it seems to be worse early in the day. I wake up feeling so achey it's hard to get out of bed, but now (three hours later) it's somewhat better, and it seems to me last night it was fine when I went to bed. I don't think it's exercise related. I'm going to keep track of how bad it is today, and I think I'm going to make an appointment to see the doc and find out what's going on.

Your increased achiness obviously isn't due to an increase in exercise, but I wonder if it could have anything to do with having exercised less lately? Good idea to monitor it and check in with your doc.

Answering your email here: Jane's better most of the time, fingers crossed. She still has her ups and downs, but they seem more "normal." She missed a dose a few days ago and had a bad episode a day later, so we think the meds are definitely helping and that she's probably very sensitive to missing them if a single missed dose could make a difference.

I'm glad to hear that Jane is doing better. That has to make life a little easier for you, too. What's going on with the college situation?

Re: the 20 guy pushups. I want to get to that point, then make one of my daily habits doing those pushups. I read somewhere that one test of "fitness" is whether you can do 20 pushups, and that it's something everyone should be able to do no matter your age or gender because your ability to do it is keyed to your body weight, endurance and recovery rates, & your proportion of muscle to fat, but it's something that even very lean marathoners can't always do because their training often ignores their upper body. It's sort of a sign of overall fitness. One of the other tests of fitness is to be able to run a mile and then recover your breath/have your heart rate normalize within a certain time after finishing, but that's one's harder for me because of my knees. When I get my knees replaced, that'll be on my list.

My trainer has never had me try push-ups (the closest is those evil planks), but I feel quite certain that I could not "pass" either of the fitness tests you mentioned. But I will! I have made so much progress.

I had my first deep-tissue massage yesterday, and it did an amazingly good job at alleviating my exercise-induced soreness. In my conversation with the masseuse (while she was working on me), it turned out that she was a former student of mine (I didn't remember her, and she didn't recognize me due to the weight loss). ACK!! Nothing like lying there practically naked in a dark room and being massaged by a student!!

Tomorrow I have an appointment for a make-up consultation. I've never used make-up beyond mascara and lip gloss, and thought it would be interesting and fun to venture into the world of make-up. I'm looking forward to it. In other news, I got an email from one of my eHarmony matches a couple of days ago. Last night I responded to it (first time I have contacted any of the several hundred matches I have received). Amazingly, I was not terribly anxious about it. YAY ME!

my report: weighed once (no change), did not exercise (like I said, canceled my session :(), ate everything sitting down, saved a few bites for Callie, was OP all day (although my timing was a bit off due to sleeping until noon), read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

Hope you had a good day with those shakes and bars, and that the scale rewards you for it tomorrow!

va1erie
01-06-2012, 09:15 AM
My weight was unchanged today, but I'm fine with it. I suspect that I also might have been a little dehydrated, after losing 2.6 pounds in one day--a record for me! Amazing that you dropped 2.6 in one day! Those exercise sessions really do inflame the muscles!

Yep, definitely time to do something. I know exactly what you mean about a few pounds making such a noticeable difference. In the old days, I could easily gain 10 pounds and not notice, but now I can feel every pound. I find it interesting that you are having the same experience, given that you were never even close to as heavy as I was. What do you see as being the function of your hard-stop weight? For me, approaching it just makes me put on the brakes. Unlike you, I'm not trying to track my calories in/calories out on a daily basis, so weighing daily and responding to a gain is how I'm tracking. I'm not sure this is actually the BEST way to manage my weight, but for now it's working for me. I'm back into a more comfortable spot today (2.6 under goal) but I'm going to continue the shakes and bars for at least today. And what would lowering it by one pound mean for you? Based on my recent experience, I think I would recommend that you don't lower your hard-stop until you are a few pounds lighter so that you don't find yourself suddenly over that weight (which could easily happen, given daily fluctuations). I'm under now -- I'm at 114.4, and dropping a pound would put my hard stop at 116 -- but I think I'll probably wait until after I've done this cleanse and gotten a little safer. No need to put more pressure on myself -- that'll just make me anxious. Are you still graphing your weight so that you can see the overall trend? (I stopped doing that a long time ago but am thinking it might be a good idea to start again, at least for a while.) I haven't graphed in quite a while. Occasionally I enter it on LiveStrong. I think it is very significant that you are not anxious about being so close to your hard-stop. Recognizing that you need to do something about it, without panicking or beating yourself up about it, is something to celebrate! YAY YOU! yep!



What kind of bars and shakes do you use, and what is their nutritional composition (just curious!)? They're from Usana. (LINK (http://shop.usana.com/shop/cart/ProductDetails?ProductID=251.010000)) Chocolate shakes, chocolate bar and peanut butter bars. The shakes are 330 calories, 7g fat, 32g carbs, 15g protein. The bars are 160 calories, 5g fat, 19g carbs, 10g protein. So a whole day would be 1470, which is almost exactly what I'm aiming for. I seldom get all six meals/snacks in, though -- yesterday I did three shakes and two bars. (By the way, have you seen the brouhaha over on the NS site about the addition of mandatory protein shakes? I'm not sure how I feel about that change.) No, I didn't see that! What's the rationale behind it? So was today your first day on this cleanse? How did it go? [/quote] Went well -- happy to be down into comfortable territory again!

For the very first time, I missed a personal training session today, for the same reason you missed your class. I just couldn't sleep last night (even though I didn't feel particularly anxious) and didn't drop off until around 7AM. I didn't think I'd make it through a session on 90 minutes of sleep, so when my alarm rang at 8:30, I got up and canceled my appointment and then went back to sleep. Did it make you feel anxious?




I'm glad to hear that Jane is doing better. That has to make life a little easier for you, too. What's going on with the college situation? She's accepted three places (Colorado College and Allegheny, both with very nice merit scholarships, and U of Mich, which isn't high on her list but would be a great choice if she decides she wants a big school after all. She has two more apps to get in, and then it's just financial aid stuff and waiting for responses.



My trainer has never had me try push-ups (the closest is those evil planks), but I feel quite certain that I could not "pass" either of the fitness tests you mentioned. But I will! I have made so much progress. Yep, I'm sure you will! Pushups are hard -- I had to start with "girl" pushups (knees on the floor) and I can do about ten of those. I can only do about five real pushups.

I had my first deep-tissue massage yesterday, and it did an amazingly good job at alleviating my exercise-induced soreness. In my conversation with the masseuse (while she was working on me), it turned out that she was a former student of mine (I didn't remember her, and she didn't recognize me due to the weight loss). ACK!! Nothing like lying there practically naked in a dark room and being massaged by a student!! LOL! I bet it did make your muscles less sore! I don't like massages myself -- I have very tender skin, and I don't really enjoy being touched by people I don't know -- but a lot of folks LOVE them.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for a make-up consultation. I've never used make-up beyond mascara and lip gloss, and thought it would be interesting and fun to venture into the world of make-up. I'm looking forward to it. In other news, I got an email from one of my eHarmony matches a couple of days ago. Last night I responded to it (first time I have contacted any of the several hundred matches I have received). Amazingly, I was not terribly anxious about it. YAY ME! Yay, you! I'll be interested to hear what response you get!

my report: weighed once (no change), did not exercise (like I said, canceled my session :(), ate everything sitting down, saved a few bites for Callie, was OP all day (although my timing was a bit off due to sleeping until noon), read my cards, contacted my diet buddy. Good day! I exercised this morning, ate (or drank shakes) sitting down, didn't leave a bite, though.

4EverLearning
01-07-2012, 12:48 AM
Amazing that you dropped 2.6 in one day! Those exercise sessions really do inflame the muscles!

And today I was up a pound, back to 129.8, for no reason that I can discern. It continues to amaze me how much my weight can fluctuate in 24 hours even when my calorie intake is pretty constant.

For me, approaching it just makes me put on the brakes. Unlike you, I'm not trying to track my calories in/calories out on a daily basis, so weighing daily and responding to a gain is how I'm tracking. I'm not sure this is actually the BEST way to manage my weight, but for now it's working for me. I'm back into a more comfortable spot today (2.6 under goal) but I'm going to continue the shakes and bars for at least today. I'm under now -- I'm at 114.4, and dropping a pound would put my hard stop at 116 -- but I think I'll probably wait until after I've done this cleanse and gotten a little safer. No need to put more pressure on myself -- that'll just make me anxious.

Good for you for not putting that kind of pressure on yourself! And YAY for getting well under your goal again so quickly! I do think that the daily weighing is probably the single best way to manage your weight. (Sometimes the big daily fluctuations take me by surprise, but I'm not sure that trying to track calories in and out is all that useful given that my Exerspy tells me that I am in a calorie deficit just about every day, and yet I do not lose weight.) And obviously you have been very successful for an extended period of time now by relying on the daily weigh-ins. It sounds like you are doing better at not forgetting to weigh in.

You have never once gone over your hard-stop weight since you first got under it, right? What do you think would happen if you did go over it at some point? What would you say to yourself, and how would you respond behaviorally?



They're from Usana. (LINK (http://shop.usana.com/shop/cart/ProductDetails?ProductID=251.010000)) Chocolate shakes, chocolate bar and peanut butter bars. The shakes are 330 calories, 7g fat, 32g carbs, 15g protein. The bars are 160 calories, 5g fat, 19g carbs, 10g protein. So a whole day would be 1470, which is almost exactly what I'm aiming for.

That surprises me--1470 calories actually sounds like a lot to me! Do you do this primarily to cut your cravings as opposed to losing weight?

I seldom get all six meals/snacks in, though -- yesterday I did three shakes and two bars.

Given the high protein content, I'm not surprised that you wouldn't be hungry enough to eat the last shake. I still remember how easy it was for me to do that liquid protein fast years ago. That was the easiest diet I ever did--no hunger, no cravings.

No, I didn't see that! What's the rationale behind it?

They say it's to increase the daily protein content and to decrease hunger. Some people are up in arms about it because it seems too much like a "diet" instead of a true lifestyle change, others are disturbed because the nutritional breakdown of the NS shakes doesn't seem as appropriate as some of the protein shakes people are already buying on their own, and others are opposed to the idea of drinking calories instead of eating them. PamSB was so upset about the shakes that she stopped posting on the boards, pulled down her page, and vowed never to recommend NS to anyone again!

Did it make you feel anxious?

Amazingly, no! I can't figure that out, though!




She's accepted three places (Colorado College and Allegheny, both with very nice merit scholarships, and U of Mich, which isn't high on her list but would be a great choice if she decides she wants a big school after all. She has two more apps to get in, and then it's just financial aid stuff and waiting for responses.

And she was on a waiting list for Bowdoin, right? Has she completely given up on that?



Yep, I'm sure you will! Pushups are hard -- I had to start with "girl" pushups (knees on the floor) and I can do about ten of those. I can only do about five real pushups.

Next time I go to the gym on my own, I will try some push-ups. For that matter, I guess I could try them on my living room carpet!

LOL! I bet it did make your muscles less sore! I don't like massages myself -- I have very tender skin, and I don't really enjoy being touched by people I don't know -- but a lot of folks LOVE them.

I'm not bothered by being touched in a controlled situation like that, but I'm very self-conscious about my loose skin.

Yay, you! I'll be interested to hear what response you get!

So far, none! But if I don't get one, that's OK, too. I've finally come to a feeling of equanimity about the whole thing and am willing to just take the leap of faith and see what happens.

Good day! I exercised this morning, ate (or drank shakes) sitting down, didn't leave a bite, though.

Kinda hard to leave a bite of a shake!! I bet that exercise felt good.

I had a good day today, too. Stayed OP, read my cards, ate slowly and mindfully, contacted my diet buddy. Got only minimal exercise, though.

I had my make-up consultation, which was kind of fun. I do really like the way my eyes look. I bought a bunch of the products that were used, including some brushes to apply them, without asking the prices. My jaw practically hit the floor when I heard the total: $238. Holy moly. Who knew that it is so expensive to be beautiful? :o

va1erie
01-07-2012, 09:37 AM
Report: weighed (no change, still 2.6 under goal), went to class but didn't walk there although I'd originally intended to but time got away from me, ate slowly and mindfully but called an audible at lunch time, as I went to a meeting at a vegan restaurant and wanted to try the tofu wrap. So I didn't do the cleanse yesterday. Left a bite, though. :)

It sounds like you are doing better at not forgetting to weigh in. Trying to -- almost forgot today but remembered before I started drinking coffee and went back in and weighed.

You have never once gone over your hard-stop weight since you first got under it, right? What do you think would happen if you did go over it at some point? What would you say to yourself, and how would you respond behaviorally? So far, I've been under goal continuously. Yay, me! :) If I did...well, I hope I won't because it definitely would make me very anxious. I'm trying to avoid that by keeping my hard-stop doable, even if I go on vacation. We're planning on a trip over Jane's spring break, and we're flying so I won't be able to take my scale. I'd like to leave at around 111 so I can feel confident that as long as I don't go hog-wild, I'll come back under the hard stop. We're going to Puerta Vallarta -- John's college & law school roomie and his partner retired there to a condo on the ocean, and the condo complex has two guest suites that can be rented cheap by members' friends and family -- and I'm hoping to be able to cook, plus I'll likely have seafood for nearly every meal, and there should be ample opportunity for spontaneous exercise. But if I DID discover I was above goal, I guess I should try to control my anxiety, maybe do a 5-day cleanse, and try to do a lot of checking in, reading cards, practicing skills, etc. Maybe listen to the CD of the book again -- that was a great purchase, definitely amps up the motivation to listen to it. That might help with the anxiety. But it's definitely a worry. I'm not ready to intentionally go over my hard stop and get myself back under it to prove to myself I can, but I guess if I came back over it, it would be an opportunity to prove to myself that I COULD do it. :)

That surprises me--1470 calories actually sounds like a lot to me! Do you do this primarily to cut your cravings as opposed to losing weight? Both, really. Since I seldom eat the entire plan for the entire five days, I probably average more like 1200, and it definitely cuts the cravings.

They say it's to increase the daily protein content and to decrease hunger. Some people are up in arms about it because it seems too much like a "diet" instead of a true lifestyle change, others are disturbed because the nutritional breakdown of the NS shakes doesn't seem as appropriate as some of the protein shakes people are already buying on their own, and others are opposed to the idea of drinking calories instead of eating them. PamSB was so upset about the shakes that she stopped posting on the boards, pulled down her page, and vowed never to recommend NS to anyone again! Wow! I may have to go over there and read some of the reactions.

And she was on a waiting list for Bowdoin, right? Has she completely given up on that? She's deferred to the regular decision pool, which means her chances of getting are the same as for those who didn't go ED. She hasn't given up on it, but she's definitely looking at her choices with an open mind. She's also (yay!) considering taking deferred admission and doing a gap year, which I think would be a GREAT idea.

Next time I go to the gym on my own, I will try some push-ups. For that matter, I guess I could try them on my living room carpet! I'm going to go see how many I can do right now...okay, back. I can do nine, though I don't dip as low as is ideal. But that can come later. Tomorrow, I'll try to do ten. I'll add that to my report! Yay, me!

So far, none! But if I don't get one, that's OK, too. I've finally come to a feeling of equanimity about the whole thing and am willing to just take the leap of faith and see what happens. Yay, you! What do you think got you over that hump?

I had a good day today, too. Stayed OP, read my cards, ate slowly and mindfully, contacted my diet buddy. Got only minimal exercise, though.

I had my make-up consultation, which was kind of fun. I do really like the way my eyes look. I bought a bunch of the products that were used, including some brushes to apply them, without asking the prices. My jaw practically hit the floor when I heard the total: $238. Holy moly. Who knew that it is so expensive to be beautiful? :o Yow! Yeah, good makeup's really expensive. I've never learned to do it well. I've never worn much makeup -- used to wear it for work, but it always was part of my work outfit. I should at least learn how, though. Did they teach you how to apply it? The whole eyeshadow thing I've never really mastered.

Hope you have a great on-plan day! I haven't had breakfast yet and am still trying to decide whether to do the cleanse today since I didn't do it yesterday. I'd like to get down another couple pounds soon, but weekends are harder, and since Michael goes back to school tomorrow it's likely he'll want to either go out tonight or have me make his favorite spaghetti.

4EverLearning
01-07-2012, 11:43 PM
Report: weighed (no change, still 2.6 under goal), went to class but didn't walk there although I'd originally intended to but time got away from me, ate slowly and mindfully but called an audible at lunch time, as I went to a meeting at a vegan restaurant and wanted to try the tofu wrap. So I didn't do the cleanse yesterday. Left a bite, though. :)

"Called an audible"??? Not sure what you mean. YAY YOU for getting to another exercise class. As for the cleanse, it sounds like maybe you don't need it, or at least that the sense of urgency has passed.

Trying to -- almost forgot today but remembered before I started drinking coffee and went back in and weighed.

Good for you!

So far, I've been under goal continuously. Yay, me! :) If I did...well, I hope I won't because it definitely would make me very anxious. I'm trying to avoid that by keeping my hard-stop doable, even if I go on vacation. We're planning on a trip over Jane's spring break, and we're flying so I won't be able to take my scale. I'd like to leave at around 111 so I can feel confident that as long as I don't go hog-wild, I'll come back under the hard stop. We're going to Puerta Vallarta -- John's college & law school roomie and his partner retired there to a condo on the ocean, and the condo complex has two guest suites that can be rented cheap by members' friends and family -- and I'm hoping to be able to cook, plus I'll likely have seafood for nearly every meal, and there should be ample opportunity for spontaneous exercise. But if I DID discover I was above goal, I guess I should try to control my anxiety, maybe do a 5-day cleanse, and try to do a lot of checking in, reading cards, practicing skills, etc. Maybe listen to the CD of the book again -- that was a great purchase, definitely amps up the motivation to listen to it. That might help with the anxiety. But it's definitely a worry. I'm not ready to intentionally go over my hard stop and get myself back under it to prove to myself I can, but I guess if I came back over it, it would be an opportunity to prove to myself that I COULD do it. :)

Based on my own struggles, I most definitely would not recommend going over your hard-stop just to prove to yourself that it's not the beginning of the end!! I'm just trying to get a sense of what that number means to you, and what function it is serving for you psychologically. You've done such an awesome job of staying under that weight, so I'm trying to pick your brain so I can emulate you! Do you ever find that, when you are well under your goal, you use it as an excuse to eat more because you think you have some leeway? I would be concerned about doing that, I think. But doing that while on vacation sounds like a very reasonable and rational strategy. Your trip sounds like great fun, something to really look forward to, and if you can cook on your own, eat a lot of seafood, and have the opportunity for spontaneous exercise (on the BEACH--I'm jealous!), you shouldn't have any trouble. But I am sure you will be a little anxious about not being able to weigh yourself.

Both, really. Since I seldom eat the entire plan for the entire five days, I probably average more like 1200, and it definitely cuts the cravings.

A few weeks ago when I was really struggling, I toyed with the idea of living solely on my protein shakes (the ones I use to recover from my training sessions) for a few days as a means of cutting my cravings, but I never did try it. I think it would work, though.

Wow! I may have to go over there and read some of the reactions.

I haven't been over there for a couple of weeks, so I don't know if it has died down. I haven't really taken the time to read up on all of the changes in the new NS program. I need to do that so I can decide if I want to continue to rely so heavily on their food. I guess I could continue to buy the food and just follow the plan I am accustomed to instead of switching over to the new structure.

She's deferred to the regular decision pool, which means her chances of getting are the same as for those who didn't go ED. She hasn't given up on it, but she's definitely looking at her choices with an open mind. She's also (yay!) considering taking deferred admission and doing a gap year, which I think would be a GREAT idea.

I never heard the term "gap year" before. Does that have some specific meaning beyond just taking a year off? What would she do during that year?

I'm going to go see how many I can do right now...okay, back. I can do nine, though I don't dip as low as is ideal. But that can come later. Tomorrow, I'll try to do ten. I'll add that to my report! Yay, me!

I tried it last night and discovered that I can also do nine--although I suspect that I am not going nearly as low as I should. My shoulders are still the most vulnerable part of my body, although they are infinitely stronger than they were.

Yay, you! What do you think got you over that hump?

I decided that I was falling prey to my old all-or-nothing thought patterns and therefore getting completely overwhelmed. So now I am thinking of dating in terms of small, manageable steps--kinda like losing weight five pounds at a time. I also keep reminding myself that I have some control over the situation and can set limits and determine a comfortable pace to any relationship that might develop. Initially, I was thinking (and worrying) about whether or not I was worthy to be chosen. But then it occurred to me that I get to make choices, too!

Yow! Yeah, good makeup's really expensive. I've never learned to do it well. I've never worn much makeup -- used to wear it for work, but it always was part of my work outfit. I should at least learn how, though. Did they teach you how to apply it? The whole eyeshadow thing I've never really mastered.

I did get a quick lesson in how to apply it all, but I am sure I will have to practice numerous times in order to really get the hang of it. I'll try it Monday morning before school (first day of class).

Hope you have a great on-plan day! I haven't had breakfast yet and am still trying to decide whether to do the cleanse today since I didn't do it yesterday. I'd like to get down another couple pounds soon, but weekends are harder, and since Michael goes back to school tomorrow it's likely he'll want to either go out tonight or have me make his favorite spaghetti.

Yep, had another good day. The crisis has passed and I am feeling in control again. PHEW. Did you decide to start the cleanse today? Sounds like it wouldn't have been the ideal timing for it.

my report: weight was unchanged (still 129.8), stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down, took a walk, read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

va1erie
01-08-2012, 04:27 PM
OH, Arg! Lost a post, can't recreate now, am on the road. Be back tomorrow, respond then, sorry!

4EverLearning
01-08-2012, 10:20 PM
OH, Arg! Lost a post, can't recreate now, am on the road. Be back tomorrow, respond then, sorry!

Believe me, I understand! Have a safe trip!

I forgot to weigh this morning. Or, more accurately, I didn't remember until after I'd already eaten breakfast, and at that point it seemed pointless (I overslept and was rushing to get to church on time). I hope I don't oversleep tomorrow for the first morning of class! Read my cards, got no exercise, ate sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, saved several bites for Callie, contacted my diet buddy.

I think I told you that I am an elder at my church. Today I served communion, along with four other elders, and then we had a meeting after church to discuss a candidate for a new pastor (a woman we interviewed Friday night). Anyway, there are two male elders who are morbidly obese. One probably weighs over 400 pounds and the other is probably closer to 500 pounds (and smokes, too--ACK). I was sitting next to one of them in church, and it was just painful for me to watch how he struggled to get up from a sitting position and how obviously uncomfortable he was. Then when we all (8 or 9 of us) filed into the meeting room, a ridiculous game of "musical chairs" ensued as everyone changed seats or moved over in order to leave the two sturdiest and most comfortable seats for the two obese men, all the while trying not to make it obvious why we were shifting around. That could so easily be me. Experiences like that really cement for me my motivation to stay thin!

va1erie
01-09-2012, 09:39 AM
"Called an audible"??? Not sure what you mean. YAY YOU for getting to another exercise class. As for the cleanse, it sounds like maybe you don't need it, or at least that the sense of urgency has passed. Calling an audible is a football term -- when the team has left the huddle and the quarterback sees the opposing team line up in a way he hadn't expected, a way that tells him some new information, he adjusts to the new situation by calling a new play aloud before the ball is snapped. It means you're changing your plan on the fly because you have a different situation to deal with than you'd been expecting. :)


Based on my own struggles, I most definitely would not recommend going over your hard-stop just to prove to yourself that it's not the beginning of the end!! I'm just trying to get a sense of what that number means to you, and what function it is serving for you psychologically. To me it's just a way of making sure I react to a gain BEFORE it gets to the point I'm also dealing with the anxiety that OMG this is the beginning of the end. Do you ever find that, when you are well under your goal, you use it as an excuse to eat more because you think you have some leeway? I would be concerned about doing that, I think. Yes, I'm definitely more likely to, say, eat the whole burger instead of half if I weighed 111 that day. I don't think it's a particularly "in control" way of eating -- that is, eating more because that morning I weighed less -- but so far it's more or less working. Ideally I'd like to be eating more consistently and getting used to a certain number of calories in. But I am sure you will be a little anxious about not being able to weigh yourself. Totally. It'll be the longest I've gone without weighing, and after the experience at camp where I gained three pounds in only five days not weighing after I'd thought I was eating reasonably, it makes me really nervous. Almost to the point I'm wishing I could figure out how to get a scale in my luggage. Which I probably could, actually -- we can take three bags. I might try to take it if it'll fit.

I haven't been over there for a couple of weeks, so I don't know if it has died down. I haven't really taken the time to read up on all of the changes in the new NS program. I need to do that so I can decide if I want to continue to rely so heavily on their food. I guess I could continue to buy the food and just follow the plan I am accustomed to instead of switching over to the new structure. You mean just by ordering everything ala carte? I think that could work. You could also start looking in the grocery for good substitutes. There are even some people on NS board who have done the research for you to find out what grocery store items work as subs for various NS items.

I never heard the term "gap year" before. Does that have some specific meaning beyond just taking a year off? It generally means taking a break to do something to explore your interests and often to travel while doing it. Apparently there's been lots of research that gap year students outperform their non-gap-year peers all four years of college, even when age and SES and other factors in the colleges' "success in college predictor" algorithms are taken into account. Many LAC strongly recommend that students consider a gap year and routinely grant deferred enrollment as long as the student is planning something productive for their gap year. [/quote] What would she do during that year? [/quote] Something like this: link (http://www.interexchange.org/working-abroad/volunteer-program/teach-english-spain)

Or this: link (http://exchanges.state.gov/youth/programs/nsli.html)

Some kids do stuff that costs their families as much as a year of college would -- they join a backpack-around-the-world program or something -- but others go on missions, volunteer, work as au pairs. In a lot of countries, a gap year is the norm. Here in the US, and especially here in flyover country, it's less common.

I tried it last night and discovered that I can also do nine--although I suspect that I am not going nearly as low as I should. My shoulders are still the most vulnerable part of my body, although they are infinitely stronger than they were. Yay for nine pushups! I did ten this morning!

I decided that I was falling prey to my old all-or-nothing thought patterns and therefore getting completely overwhelmed. So now I am thinking of dating in terms of small, manageable steps--kinda like losing weight five pounds at a time. I also keep reminding myself that I have some control over the situation and can set limits and determine a comfortable pace to any relationship that might develop. Initially, I was thinking (and worrying) about whether or not I was worthy to be chosen. But then it occurred to me that I get to make choices, too! Yay for realizing you were letting your anxiety take you to that all-or-nothing place! And for realizing it's a two-way street and you have the ability to retain as much control as you need.

I think I told you that I am an elder at my church. Today I served communion, along with four other elders, and then we had a meeting after church to discuss a candidate for a new pastor (a woman we interviewed Friday night). Anyway, there are two male elders who are morbidly obese. One probably weighs over 400 pounds and the other is probably closer to 500 pounds (and smokes, too--ACK). I was sitting next to one of them in church, and it was just painful for me to watch how he struggled to get up from a sitting position and how obviously uncomfortable he was. Then when we all (8 or 9 of us) filed into the meeting room, a ridiculous game of "musical chairs" ensued as everyone changed seats or moved over in order to leave the two sturdiest and most comfortable seats for the two obese men, all the while trying not to make it obvious why we were shifting around. That could so easily be me. Experiences like that really cement for me my motivation to stay thin!

Ack, indeed, and how awkward for everyone. :( I feel sad when I have this kind of experience, but it does help me remind myself what I -really- want.

Report: weighed (no change, still 2.6 under hard stop), didn't do my cleanse and am not going to do it today either. Had a rough night and didn't go to my exercise class today, but oh well. I'll go Wednesday.

4EverLearning
01-09-2012, 09:27 PM
Calling an audible is a football term -- when the team has left the huddle and the quarterback sees the opposing team line up in a way he hadn't expected, a way that tells him some new information, he adjusts to the new situation by calling a new play aloud before the ball is snapped. It means you're changing your plan on the fly because you have a different situation to deal with than you'd been expecting. :)

Oh, FOOTBALL!!! No WONDER I had no idea what you were talking about!! I'll remember that now. LOL!!


To me it's just a way of making sure I react to a gain BEFORE it gets to the point I'm also dealing with the anxiety that OMG this is the beginning of the end. Yes, I'm definitely more likely to, say, eat the whole burger instead of half if I weighed 111 that day. I don't think it's a particularly "in control" way of eating -- that is, eating more because that morning I weighed less -- but so far it's more or less working. Ideally I'd like to be eating more consistently and getting used to a certain number of calories in. Totally. It'll be the longest I've gone without weighing, and after the experience at camp where I gained three pounds in only five days not weighing after I'd thought I was eating reasonably, it makes me really nervous. Almost to the point I'm wishing I could figure out how to get a scale in my luggage. Which I probably could, actually -- we can take three bags. I might try to take it if it'll fit.

My scale is small enough and light enough to easily fit in my suitcase, so I bet you could bring yours if it would make you feel less anxious. I do think it's healthier, psychologically (because it involves more internal control than external control) and probably physically as well, to have a consistent calorie intake. But you have found a great rhythm that is working for you. As long as it is working, and you are comfortable with it, keep it up! If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!

BTW, on the topic of consistent intake, I read a study somewhere recently that I found intriguing. It found that maintainers who eat the same few meals over and over are more successful in the long run than people who vary their meals a lot. I was happy to see that, since I have always been one to rely on my few favorite meals, and so far that strategy has worked pretty well for me in maintenance.

You mean just by ordering everything ala carte? I think that could work. You could also start looking in the grocery for good substitutes. There are even some people on NS board who have done the research for you to find out what grocery store items work as subs for various NS items.

Yeah, I guess I would have to order the food ala carte, since there will no longer be a way to get a BBB without the shakes, and I'm not sure how I feel about those yet. But ordering that way is so expensive. It would make sense for me to start trying to find some good substitutes.

It generally means taking a break to do something to explore your interests and often to travel while doing it. Apparently there's been lots of research that gap year students outperform their non-gap-year peers all four years of college, even when age and SES and other factors in the colleges' "success in college predictor" algorithms are taken into account. Many LAC strongly recommend that students consider a gap year and routinely grant deferred enrollment as long as the student is planning something productive for their gap year. What would she do during that year? [/quote]

Something like this: link (http://www.interexchange.org/working-abroad/volunteer-program/teach-english-spain)

Or this: link (http://exchanges.state.gov/youth/programs/nsli.html)

Some kids do stuff that costs their families as much as a year of college would -- they join a backpack-around-the-world program or something -- but others go on missions, volunteer, work as au pairs. In a lot of countries, a gap year is the norm. Here in the US, and especially here in flyover country, it's less common.

Yeah, I'm familiar with some of that research and think a year to do something different is a great idea. Neither of my nieces took a year off (and the younger one is still at Hamilton), but both were/are very involved with volunteer/mission programs overseas during their breaks from school. Does Jane speak Spanish? I think it would be awesome to learn an unusual language, especially Chinese, which would be incredibly challenging but a really marketable skill.

Yay for nine pushups! I did ten this morning!

OK, you win!! :D

Yay for realizing you were letting your anxiety take you to that all-or-nothing place! And for realizing it's a two-way street and you have the ability to retain as much control as you need.

So far I haven't gotten any response to the email I sent to one of my matches (after he had written me first) and am surprised by that, but totally OK with it. He is also a psych prof, so maybe he is just really caught up in the new semester beginning.



Ack, indeed, and how awkward for everyone. :( I feel sad when I have this kind of experience, but it does help me remind myself what I -really- want.

And what we really DON'T want!

Report: weighed (no change, still 2.6 under hard stop), didn't do my cleanse and am not going to do it today either. Had a rough night and didn't go to my exercise class today, but oh well. I'll go Wednesday.

Sorry to hear you had a rough night. Wednesday is another day.

I remembered to weigh myself today (129.2, down .6 from two days ago), had a perfect OP day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did remember to save a bite of dinner for Callie, contacted my diet buddy. Had a good first day of class. Have a 7:55AM class tomorrow so have to get up earlier than I've gone to bed some of the nights over break!! Reality rears its ugly head!

Hope you had a good day today!

va1erie
01-10-2012, 08:48 AM
Oh, FOOTBALL!!! No WONDER I had no idea what you were talking about!! I'll remember that now. LOL!! Believe me, I'm no sports fan. But I love sports terminology. It's right in my wheelhouse. :D (That's a baseball term: a pitch "into his wheelhouse" crosses a batter's body in the area he finds it easiest to reliably make a good hit. It means comfortably in your area of expertise and/or greatest interest. It actually probably goes back earlier than baseball, though, perhaps to nautical terminology -- the wheelhouse was where the captain turned the boat from, so the source of power, and a baseball player stands in a position a little like that of a captain turning a wheel.)

My scale is small enough and light enough to easily fit in my suitcase, so I bet you could bring yours if it would make you feel less anxious. I do think it's healthier, psychologically (because it involves more internal control than external control) and probably physically as well, to have a consistent calorie intake. But you have found a great rhythm that is working for you. As long as it is working, and you are comfortable with it, keep it up! If it ain't broke, don't fix it!! Yeah, I'm not sure. It feels less in control. I'd like to get to the point I'm making decisions based on habit instead of that morning's weight. But I can work on that.

BTW, on the topic of consistent intake, I read a study somewhere recently that I found intriguing. It found that maintainers who eat the same few meals over and over are more successful in the long run than people who vary their meals a lot. I was happy to see that, since I have always been one to rely on my few favorite meals, and so far that strategy has worked pretty well for me in maintenance. I've heard that, too. Not great for me, the queen of food variety. :) But I'm actually pretty happy with the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day as long as I can have variety for dinner, at least occasionally. That's what I need to work toward -- a large number of low cal dinners that both give me the variety I want but also keep me on the lowish side of my calorie goals consistently so that when I DO decide to eat something different, I've got a little wiggle room.

Yeah, I guess I would have to order the food ala carte, since there will no longer be a way to get a BBB without the shakes, and I'm not sure how I feel about those yet. But ordering that way is so expensive. It would make sense for me to start trying to find some good substitutes. I think a lot of the Lean Cuisine and Smart Choice entrees probably would work.

Yeah, I'm familiar with some of that research and think a year to do something different is a great idea. Neither of my nieces took a year off (and the younger one is still at Hamilton), but both were/are very involved with volunteer/mission programs overseas during their breaks from school. Does Jane speak Spanish? I think it would be awesome to learn an unusual language, especially Chinese, which would be incredibly challenging but a really marketable skill. Yes, she's got five years of Spanish and always got top grades, and when she travelled in Italy with her AP European History class in sophomore year, she found she could understand a lot of Italian if people spoke slowly. I think she probably has a facility for language.

So far I haven't gotten any response to the email I sent to one of my matches (after he had written me first) and am surprised by that, but totally OK with it. He is also a psych prof, so maybe he is just really caught up in the new semester beginning. Interesting. I don't know much about how these things tend to work.

I remembered to weigh myself today (129.2, down .6 from two days ago), had a perfect OP day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did remember to save a bite of dinner for Callie, contacted my diet buddy. Had a good first day of class. Have a 7:55AM class tomorrow so have to get up earlier than I've gone to bed some of the nights over break!! Reality rears its ugly head! I weighed, too, no change (2.6 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, sitting down, left a bite. No exercise. Glad you had a good first day of class, and ack on the 7:55 am classes! Why so early? Demand from students for classes that early, or space limitations, or what?

Have a great day!

4EverLearning
01-10-2012, 10:50 PM
Believe me, I'm no sports fan. But I love sports terminology. It's right in my wheelhouse. :D (That's a baseball term: a pitch "into his wheelhouse" crosses a batter's body in the area he finds it easiest to reliably make a good hit. It means comfortably in your area of expertise and/or greatest interest. It actually probably goes back earlier than baseball, though, perhaps to nautical terminology -- the wheelhouse was where the captain turned the boat from, so the source of power, and a baseball player stands in a position a little like that of a captain turning a wheel.)

Oh, I like this one. I could use this in class and amaze all of my male students with my baseball acumen! I suspect you are right about the nautical origins of this phrase. If I had been asked to guess what the phrase meant, I would have come up with that interpretation--but never the baseball application of it! I obviously don't spend enough time around men! ;)

Yeah, I'm not sure. It feels less in control. I'd like to get to the point I'm making decisions based on habit instead of that morning's weight. But I can work on that.

If your way starts to feel uncomfortable for you, you know you can work to change it. We are, after all, works in progress!

I've heard that, too. Not great for me, the queen of food variety. :) But I'm actually pretty happy with the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day as long as I can have variety for dinner, at least occasionally. That's what I need to work toward -- a large number of low cal dinners that both give me the variety I want but also keep me on the lowish side of my calorie goals consistently so that when I DO decide to eat something different, I've got a little wiggle room.

Actually, the study showed that consistency for breakfast and lunch was most important, so you are in luck! Variety is better from a nutritional standpoint, so there's a trade-off no matter what we do. We just have to find strategies that work for us, and I think we've both done a pretty good job of it.

I think a lot of the Lean Cuisine and Smart Choice entrees probably would work.

I haven't bought either of those in a long time but noticed the last time I was in the grocery store that there seem to be a lot of new options in both brands, and some of them looked pretty appealing!

Yes, she's got five years of Spanish and always got top grades, and when she travelled in Italy with her AP European History class in sophomore year, she found she could understand a lot of Italian if people spoke slowly. I think she probably has a facility for language.

That's wonderful. Fluency in Spanish is definitely a marketable skill. My older niece is also fluent in Spanish. She studied Spanish in the hopes that she could use it as an occupational therapist. She recently got a great job in Texas (her husband is stationed at Fort Hood now), and I bet she'll be able to use her Spanish there.

Interesting. I don't know much about how these things tend to work.

Me, neither, obviously!! I hardly know how dating works, no less online. I checked my inbox right before I came here and noticed that he just wrote back to me, but I haven't read it yet! :dizzy:

I weighed, too, no change (2.6 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, sitting down, left a bite. No exercise. Glad you had a good first day of class, and ack on the 7:55 am classes! Why so early? Demand from students for classes that early, or space limitations, or what?

Sounds like you had a good day! Me, too. My weight was up .6, for no reason that I can see, but that's fine. As for those early morning classes, I have no control over my schedule at all. I have to have my afternoons free because of meetings at the main campus in the afternoon, so my classes need to be in the morning or evening. And the very early morning hour is mostly because a large number of high school students take intro psych as part of the early enrollment option, and having the class so early allows them to go to their regular high school classes afterward. It's a real challenge for me to function at that hour, though, no less being scintillating and enthusiastic!

Have a wonderful day tomorrrow!

Later: Just read my email from my match, and he hadn't realized I'd written to him because he is having trouble figuring out how the site works and didn't know I had (a man after my own heart, LOL!)!!

va1erie
01-11-2012, 08:44 AM
Oh, I like this one. I could use this in class and amaze all of my male students with my baseball acumen! I suspect you are right about the nautical origins of this phrase. If I had been asked to guess what the phrase meant, I would have come up with that interpretation--but never the baseball application of it! I obviously don't spend enough time around men! ;) One of the things I like about sports terminology is that it impresses my guy friends. :)


Actually, the study showed that consistency for breakfast and lunch was most important, so you are in luck! Yay! I've taken a lot of breakfast ideas from NS -- a common breakfast for me is a piece of lowfat french toast or a lowfat waffle used as the 'bread' for a sandwich with a couple of slices of turkey or veggie sausage. I also like one of Beck's breakfasts -- a low carb wheat tortilla, several pieces of romaine, four slices of turkey or veggie bacon, and a T of reduced fat mayo.

I haven't bought either of those in a long time but noticed the last time I was in the grocery store that there seem to be a lot of new options in both brands, and some of them looked pretty appealing! I've tried a few recently, adding extra veggies like I always did with my NS entrees, and they're pretty good.

Sounds like you had a good day! Me, too. My weight was up .6, for no reason that I can see, but that's fine. As for those early morning classes, I have no control over my schedule at all. I have to have my afternoons free because of meetings at the main campus in the afternoon, so my classes need to be in the morning or evening. And the very early morning hour is mostly because a large number of high school students take intro psych as part of the early enrollment option, and having the class so early allows them to go to their regular high school classes afterward. It's a real challenge for me to function at that hour, though, no less being scintillating and enthusiastic! Ah! And how interesting on the HS students -- Jane's taking AP Psych right now and really loving it, is considering starting out as a Psych major if she doesn't start out as an English major.



Later: Just read my email from my match, and he hadn't realized I'd written to him because he is having trouble figuring out how the site works and didn't know I had (a man after my own heart, LOL!)!! So, what did he say?

Report: weighed (no change -- 2.6 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down and left a bite, walked to class this morning and managed to miss the rain that started just a few minutes after I got home.

Have a great day!

4EverLearning
01-11-2012, 10:49 PM
One of the things I like about sports terminology is that it impresses my guy friends. :)

And that's always a good thing!

Yay! I've taken a lot of breakfast ideas from NS -- a common breakfast for me is a piece of lowfat french toast or a lowfat waffle used as the 'bread' for a sandwich with a couple of slices of turkey or veggie sausage. I also like one of Beck's breakfasts -- a low carb wheat tortilla, several pieces of romaine, four slices of turkey or veggie bacon, and a T of reduced fat mayo.

Is your lowfat French toast homemade or frozen? I haven't eaten French toast in many years, but that used to be one of my favorite foods. I never would have thought of making a sandwich out of it.

I've tried a few recently, adding extra veggies like I always did with my NS entrees, and they're pretty good.

Are they pretty comparable to NS dinners in terms of nutrition and calories?

Ah! And how interesting on the HS students -- Jane's taking AP Psych right now and really loving it, is considering starting out as a Psych major if she doesn't start out as an English major.

I would definitely recommend the psych major, naturally!! :D



So, what did he say?

So far we are just comparing notes about our career paths and our feelings about teaching. And he's funny, too. I had mentioned in my profile that one of the things I can't live without is Diet Coke, so there is some kind of tease about Diet Coke in each of his emails.

Report: weighed (no change -- 2.6 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down and left a bite, walked to class this morning and managed to miss the rain that started just a few minutes after I got home.

That's the first time you've walked to your class in awhile, isn't it? YAY YOU! And your weight's been steady lately, too. YAY YOU!

My weight was unchanged today, had a personal training session (not my best one; felt like I lost some ground by missing one of my sessions last week), read my cards, ate sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, saved a bit for Callie, contacted my diet buddy, gave myself lots of credit not only for getting back in control but also for the eHarmony thing and for getting up early enough every morning to put on make-up, get dressed up, and still make it to school with time to spare!

Tomorrow is one of my early days (ugh), so I need to head to bed. Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
01-12-2012, 08:53 AM
Is your lowfat French toast homemade or frozen? I haven't eaten French toast in many years, but that used to be one of my favorite foods. I never would have thought of making a sandwich out of it. It's frozen. I buy a couple boxes and keep them in my freezer so I can have an easy breakfast when I need it. Kroger and Trader Joe's both have lowfat waffles and french toast as well as turkey sausage and veggie sausage. NS offers frozen french toast in their frozen menu, which is where I got the idea of making a sandwich -- you're supposed to add a protein, and a slice (or two, depending on the brand) of turkey or veggie sausage has the right numbers. What I do is slice the french toast into fourths and make two sandwiches with slices of sausage. It's a very satisfying breakfast for me.

Are they pretty comparable to NS dinners in terms of nutrition and calories? There's a woman on NS who did a comparison of grocery items that could sub for NS entrees and made charts she posted here: link (http://plussizenow.com/ns/compare_dinner.html) They're a little out of date -- some of the NS items have been replaced -- but it would give you a place to start. Also a woman name Michelle (m2marsh) has a chart you can pm her for that shows the min/max calories, fat, carbs and protein for NS breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack entrees so you can take it to the grocery with you. She also has a set of charts showing the stats for every NS item individually so you can compare specific possible subs.

So far we are just comparing notes about our career paths and our feelings about teaching. And he's funny, too. I had mentioned in my profile that one of the things I can't live without is Diet Coke, so there is some kind of tease about Diet Coke in each of his emails. Sounds like a good way to start. When my dad was doing it, he was mostly corresponding, but partly that was because most of his matches were pretty far away. By the time he'd been matched with someone who was both interesting and nearby, he'd already started dating this woman he's seeing now, so it never came to anything.

My weight was unchanged today, had a personal training session (not my best one; felt like I lost some ground by missing one of my sessions last week), I wonder how fast trainers say you lose ground? Maybe it depends on your age? read my cards, ate sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, saved a bit for Callie, contacted my diet buddy, gave myself lots of credit not only for getting back in control but also for the eHarmony thing and for getting up early enough every morning to put on make-up, get dressed up, and still make it to school with time to spare! Yay, you! I didn't weigh this morning -- got up in a mad rush because I'd forgotten I had a carpenter coming, and by the time he left to go get supplies I'd already had coffee. Oh, well. I didn't overeat yesterday because I had dental work (had a crown removed and a temporary one put on) and I was in a fair amount of pain from that, so I probably am okay. I'm somewhat better this morning, though it's still a lot more painful that I was expecting so I may call and see if what I'm feeling is normal.

Hope you have a great day, even though it was an early one!

4EverLearning
01-12-2012, 11:51 PM
It's frozen. I buy a couple boxes and keep them in my freezer so I can have an easy breakfast when I need it. Kroger and Trader Joe's both have lowfat waffles and french toast as well as turkey sausage and veggie sausage. NS offers frozen french toast in their frozen menu, which is where I got the idea of making a sandwich -- you're supposed to add a protein, and a slice (or two, depending on the brand) of turkey or veggie sausage has the right numbers. What I do is slice the french toast into fourths and make two sandwiches with slices of sausage. It's a very satisfying breakfast for me.

That sounds easy and delicious--or at least the turkey sausage version does! I think the main ingredient in veggie sausage is mushrooms, right? Mushrooms are one of the foods I wouldn't eat if my life depended on it!

There's a woman on NS who did a comparison of grocery items that could sub for NS entrees and made charts she posted here: link (http://plussizenow.com/ns/compare_dinner.html) They're a little out of date -- some of the NS items have been replaced -- but it would give you a place to start. Also a woman name Michelle (m2marsh) has a chart you can pm her for that shows the min/max calories, fat, carbs and protein for NS breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack entrees so you can take it to the grocery with you. She also has a set of charts showing the stats for every NS item individually so you can compare specific possible subs.

I will check that out. I did notice that some of my favorite NS meals, including the meal I eat for lunch several times every week, have retired. So I either need to find some substitute NS meals or some other brand that will work as well.

Sounds like a good way to start. When my dad was doing it, he was mostly corresponding, but partly that was because most of his matches were pretty far away. By the time he'd been matched with someone who was both interesting and nearby, he'd already started dating this woman he's seeing now, so it never came to anything.

This guy lives 3 hours away from me, so he's not exactly nearby. If we get to the point of wanting to actually get together, I guess we'll have to figure out a meeting place halfway between us.

I wonder how fast trainers say you lose ground? Maybe it depends on your age? Yay, you! I didn't weigh this morning -- got up in a mad rush because I'd forgotten I had a carpenter coming, and by the time he left to go get supplies I'd already had coffee. Oh, well. I didn't overeat yesterday because I had dental work (had a crown removed and a temporary one put on) and I was in a fair amount of pain from that, so I probably am okay. I'm somewhat better this morning, though it's still a lot more painful that I was expecting so I may call and see if what I'm feeling is normal.

I don't know if age affects the rate at which muscle tone is lost, but it would make sense that it would. Sorry to hear about your tooth. In my experience, just having a crown replaced doesn't hurt much, so I hope you did investigate the reason for the pain if you were not feeling better today.

Hope you have a great day, even though it was an early one!

It was a LONG day, starting out with the early class and ending with a 3 hour meeting at church. I didn't get home until 10PM. I had a good day today except that I ended up eating an unplanned late evening snack (a plain grilled chicken snack wrap from McDonald's), because after the meeting I was beyond hungry and my blood sugar was really low. I was more hungry than usual all day long, maybe because I got up so early and ate breakfast so early. My weight was unchanged.

It is snowing like crazy here. I'm supposed to have a personal training session at 9AM tomorrow but am wondering if it will have to be rescheduled. My trainer is a school bus driver. If the start of school is delayed due to the weather, he will be driving the bus at the time my session is supposed to be. The last time that happened, he called me at 6AM (and woke me up, of course) to tell me!

Hope you had a good day today and that your tooth is feeling better!

va1erie
01-13-2012, 09:09 AM
That sounds easy and delicious--or at least the turkey sausage version does! I think the main ingredient in veggie sausage is mushrooms, right? Mushrooms are one of the foods I wouldn't eat if my life depended on it! Probably no mushrooms -- too many people are allergic. Let me see...the TJ brand has no mushrooms, neither does the Morningstar Farms brand. Mostly wheat and soy.

I will check that out. I did notice that some of my favorite NS meals, including the meal I eat for lunch several times every week, have retired. So I either need to find some substitute NS meals or some other brand that will work as well. What are your favorites?

This guy lives 3 hours away from me, so he's not exactly nearby. If we get to the point of wanting to actually get together, I guess we'll have to figure out a meeting place halfway between us. Yow, that's a hike! Especially at this time of year!

I don't know if age affects the rate at which muscle tone is lost, but it would make sense that it would. Sorry to hear about your tooth. In my experience, just having a crown replaced doesn't hurt much, so I hope you did investigate the reason for the pain if you were not feeling better today. I called them, and they said between the grinding and drilling and etc., the pain I was having wasn't unusual. It's still throbbing. :( I got up this morning and got dressed for my class, but I just couldn't face exercising when my jaw was already throbbing.

It was a LONG day, starting out with the early class and ending with a 3 hour meeting at church. I didn't get home until 10PM. I had a good day today except that I ended up eating an unplanned late evening snack (a plain grilled chicken snack wrap from McDonald's), because after the meeting I was beyond hungry and my blood sugar was really low. I was more hungry than usual all day long, maybe because I got up so early and ate breakfast so early. My weight was unchanged. A plain grilled chicken wrap sounds like a good choice!

It is snowing like crazy here. I'm supposed to have a personal training session at 9AM tomorrow but am wondering if it will have to be rescheduled. My trainer is a school bus driver. If the start of school is delayed due to the weather, he will be driving the bus at the time my session is supposed to be. The last time that happened, he called me at 6AM (and woke me up, of course) to tell me! We had snow here, too, but not much. Probably an inch or so, but it did stick.

Report: weighed, and I'm back up to .4 under my hard stop, ack! Cleanse! When I saw the weight, I really wanted to go to class, but as I said after I'd gotten up and dressed I just couldn't face it. :( Oh, well. I'll start the 5-day shakes-and-bars and this time I'll stick with it for the entire process. Bumming. A little anxious, but not too bad. Mostly just irked with myself for not sticking with it the first time instead of going off it when I saw the weight drop. :( So Friday-Saturday-Sunday-Monday-Tuesday, bleah.

Stay warm!

4EverLearning
01-13-2012, 09:19 PM
Probably no mushrooms -- too many people are allergic. Let me see...the TJ brand has no mushrooms, neither does the Morningstar Farms brand. Mostly wheat and soy.

Hmmm, that's interesting. I was basing my statement about the mushrooms on the fact that veggie burgers usually have mushrooms as one of the first ingredients.

What are your favorites?

My go-to lunch is Pasta Parmesan with Broccoli, and it has retired. I have about 15 more of those on hand. They replaced it with something I like just as much if not more, though--Three Cheese Pasta with Chicken, which I can also supplement with additional chicken and broccoli like I always do with my previous favorite. My favorite dinners are the Penne Pasta with Chicken in Alfredo Sauce, Italian Flatbread Pizza, and Cajun Chicken and Shrimp.

Yow, that's a hike! Especially at this time of year!

Yeah, neither the distance nor the weather are conducive to getting together. For that reason I probably would not have contacted him on my own, but I'm glad he contacted me, because I really like him.

I called them, and they said between the grinding and drilling and etc., the pain I was having wasn't unusual. It's still throbbing. :( I got up this morning and got dressed for my class, but I just couldn't face exercising when my jaw was already throbbing.

Ah, I didn't realize there was drilling involved. That would explain the pain. Hope you a re feeling better today. I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to exercise with a throbbing jaw.



We had snow here, too, but not much. Probably an inch or so, but it did stick.

We had a couple of inches here, but the timing was such that school was not cancelled or delayed, so I was able to have my training session as scheduled.

Report: weighed, and I'm back up to .4 under my hard stop, ack! Cleanse! When I saw the weight, I really wanted to go to class, but as I said after I'd gotten up and dressed I just couldn't face it. :( Oh, well. I'll start the 5-day shakes-and-bars and this time I'll stick with it for the entire process. Bumming. A little anxious, but not too bad. Mostly just irked with myself for not sticking with it the first time instead of going off it when I saw the weight drop. :( So Friday-Saturday-Sunday-Monday-Tuesday, bleah.

Any thoughts on why your weight was up again? I know sometimes it just happens for no apparent reason. I was up .6 this morning myself--back to 130.2, which definitely ramps up my anxiety at least a little. So I understand where you are coming from. I did a perfect NS day today and am at 1340 calories. My Exerspy says I have burned 1742 calories so far today (259 of which were burned during my training session--much better than Wednesday's). I ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Saved a few bites for Callie. Did not read my cards. Contacted my diet buddy.

How did the first day of your cleanse go? Sticking to shakes should help your toothache, too.

I'm actually going to bed shortly. I'm very tired. And my eyes are really bothering me--dry and burning. I'm not sure if it's because of the dry air in here, if I need new glasses, or if it has something to do with the eye make-up, but all I want to do is close my eyes.

Hope you had a better day today!

va1erie
01-14-2012, 11:00 AM
Hmmm, that's interesting. I was basing my statement about the mushrooms on the fact that veggie burgers usually have mushrooms as one of the first ingredients. Maybe those are veggie burgers in restaurants, where they're making them onsite from vegetables?

My go-to lunch is Pasta Parmesan with Broccoli, and it has retired. I have about 15 more of those on hand. They replaced it with something I like just as much if not more, though--Three Cheese Pasta with Chicken, which I can also supplement with additional chicken and broccoli like I always do with my previous favorite. My favorite dinners are the Penne Pasta with Chicken in Alfredo Sauce, Italian Flatbread Pizza, and Cajun Chicken and Shrimp. I think Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones have some subs that would probably work. Here's a pasta with chicken and broccoli: link (http://www.leancuisine.com/Products/Details.aspx?ProductID=1)

Ah, I didn't realize there was drilling involved. That would explain the pain. Hope you a re feeling better today. I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to exercise with a throbbing jaw. Somewhat better. We have tickets to a play tonight, and I think I'm going to try to take a vicodin early afternoon, then take a nap, and hope I make it through. :) At least being at the play will make it impossible for me to eat!

Any thoughts on why your weight was up again? I know sometimes it just happens for no apparent reason. I was up .6 this morning myself--back to 130.2, which definitely ramps up my anxiety at least a little. So I understand where you are coming from. I did a perfect NS day today and am at 1340 calories. My Exerspy says I have burned 1742 calories so far today (259 of which were burned during my training session--much better than Wednesday's). I ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Saved a few bites for Callie. Did not read my cards. Contacted my diet buddy. It was up because I went to happy hour, had a glass of wine on top of a vicodin, then blew off the cleanse. :( Gar. I didn't even ENJOY the happy hour. The three women I like best weren't able to make it and neither was the one I put up with because while she's a bore, she's very kind. That left me with the one I only tolerate, and I only went because she knows she's sort of on the fringes of the group and I don't want her to feel no one would attend if it was only going to be her. In fact, thinking back on why I went off the cleanse, it was probably because I was feeling sorry for myself and "deserved" to have real food. What I deserve is to be thin. :D Oh, well. Move on. Weight: no change, started the cleanse AGAIN this morning. No exercise. Bleah. Not a happy camper. Not freaking out yet, but not happy.

I'm actually going to bed shortly. I'm very tired. And my eyes are really bothering me--dry and burning. I'm not sure if it's because of the dry air in here, if I need new glasses, or if it has something to do with the eye make-up, but all I want to do is close my eyes. I know old makeup can cause eye issues -- after six months, it starts to have bacterial growth, so mascara, liner, and eyeshadow should be discarded after six months -- but this is your new stuff, so that shouldn't be it. Maybe it's the dryness...have you been adding more fats to your diet?

4EverLearning
01-15-2012, 12:08 AM
Maybe those are veggie burgers in restaurants, where they're making them onsite from vegetables?

I'm not sure about how they're made at restaurants. I just remember reading the ingredients on several packages of veggie burgers (can't remember the brands) in the grocery store (long ago) and discovering that mushrooms were a prime ingredient. Maybe I'm not remembering correctly. I should check them out again.

I think Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones have some subs that would probably work. Here's a pasta with chicken and broccoli: link (http://www.leancuisine.com/Products/Details.aspx?ProductID=1)

That looks really delicious and appropriate nutritionally. The calorie count is considerably higher than the NS version. Maybe the portion size is bigger. And it looks like it contains more chicken and broccoli, which is fine since I normally add those anyway.

Somewhat better. We have tickets to a play tonight, and I think I'm going to try to take a vicodin early afternoon, then take a nap, and hope I make it through. :) At least being at the play will make it impossible for me to eat!

What play did you go see? Sounds like a good distraction from food cravings (although I'm sure some people do sneak food in, just like at the movies!).

It was up because I went to happy hour, had a glass of wine on top of a vicodin, then blew off the cleanse. :( Gar. I didn't even ENJOY the happy hour. The three women I like best weren't able to make it and neither was the one I put up with because while she's a bore, she's very kind. That left me with the one I only tolerate, and I only went because she knows she's sort of on the fringes of the group and I don't want her to feel no one would attend if it was only going to be her. In fact, thinking back on why I went off the cleanse, it was probably because I was feeling sorry for myself and "deserved" to have real food. What I deserve is to be thin. :D Oh, well. Move on. Weight: no change, started the cleanse AGAIN this morning. No exercise. Bleah. Not a happy camper. Not freaking out yet, but not happy.

Well, that sucks! There you were trying to be nice and protect someone from hurt feelings, and it totally backfired so you ended up hurting yourself instead. I would imagine you are right--you thought you "deserved" to really enjoy the food since you weren't enjoying yourself otherwise. Maybe you could make a card for that situation. How did the cleanse go today? When is your next exercise class supposed to be?

I know old makeup can cause eye issues -- after six months, it starts to have bacterial growth, so mascara, liner, and eyeshadow should be discarded after six months -- but this is your new stuff, so that shouldn't be it. Maybe it's the dryness...have you been adding more fats to your diet?

I definitely eat enough fat now; I can see the difference in my hair and skin, so it's not that. In terms of the make-up, I was just wondering if maybe I'm allergic to something, or at least sensitive to it, since I've never really worn any of that stuff before. But after sleeping for 10 hours last night, my eyes feel much better. Or it just may be that I didn't wear any make-up today. I'll have to see what happens next time I wear the make-up.

my report: weight was down .2 (130 even), had a perfect NS day, can't read my calorie burn from my Exerspy because their site is down at the moment, did not do any exercise, read my cards, saved a bite of dinner for Callie, ate slowly and mindfully. Feeling pretty in control these days but still haven't completely regained my confidence. I do want to thank you for suggesting that we start our own thread here, though. That has helped me a great deal. I haven't told you lately how much I appreciate your input and support--so thank you!

Looking forward to hear how your day went today. Hope it was a much better one!

va1erie
01-15-2012, 12:24 PM
I'm not sure about how they're made at restaurants. I just remember reading the ingredients on several packages of veggie burgers (can't remember the brands) in the grocery store (long ago) and discovering that mushrooms were a prime ingredient. Maybe I'm not remembering correctly. I should check them out again. [quote] I looked at the ingredients of a veggie burger I like a lot at a local restaurant, and it also doesn't contain any mushrooms.

[quote]That looks really delicious and appropriate nutritionally. The calorie count is considerably higher than the NS version. Maybe the portion size is bigger. And it looks like it contains more chicken and broccoli, which is fine since I normally add those anyway. Oh, you know what? Those Lean Cuisines are probably comparable to NS dinners rather than lunches.

What play did you go see? Sounds like a good distraction from food cravings (although I'm sure some people do sneak food in, just like at the movies!). Play was terrible. We left at intermission. It was a debut from a playwright whose work we've enjoyed before, but it turns out this was a commissioned piece. I suspect she had trouble with it but didn't want to give back the money.

How did the cleanse go today? When is your next exercise class supposed to be? Cleanse went well, and I'm supposed to go to class tomorrow morning I think...I should check to make sure she's having class, but I assume she is. If I wake up without a throbbing tooth, I'll go.


my report: weight was down .2 (130 even), had a perfect NS day, can't read my calorie burn from my Exerspy because their site is down at the moment, did not do any exercise, read my cards, saved a bite of dinner for Callie, ate slowly and mindfully. So a good day, all around.

Feeling pretty in control these days but still haven't completely regained my confidence. I do want to thank you for suggesting that we start our own thread here, though. That has helped me a great deal. I haven't told you lately how much I appreciate your input and support--so thank you! It's helping me, too, so thank you in return. :) I'm glad you're feeling more in control. Report: weighed (down, yay, to 2.2 under goal), didn't exercise, ate exactly as planned, contacted my diet buddy!

Have a great day!

4EverLearning
01-16-2012, 12:55 AM
I looked at the ingredients of a veggie burger I like a lot at a local restaurant, and it also doesn't contain any mushrooms.

OK, you've convinced me that I need to check them out--I must be mistaken!

Oh, you know what? Those Lean Cuisines are probably comparable to NS dinners rather than lunches.

That Lean Cuisine has 300 calories, compared to 220 for the NS version (which is also a dinner). But by the time I add an ounce of chicken and a bunch of veggies to it, the NS version is close to 300 calories, too.

Play was terrible. We left at intermission. It was a debut from a playwright whose work we've enjoyed before, but it turns out this was a commissioned piece. I suspect she had trouble with it but didn't want to give back the money.

And I don't suppose YOU were able to get your money back, either. :( Sorry it was so disappointing.

Cleanse went well, and I'm supposed to go to class tomorrow morning I think...I should check to make sure she's having class, but I assume she is. If I wake up without a throbbing tooth, I'll go.

I hope your class is in session and that going will make you feel more in control. I continue to be amazed at how good exercise can make a body and mind feel. I sometimes regret not exercising, but never once have I regretted an exercise session!



Report: weighed (down, yay, to 2.2 under goal), didn't exercise, ate exactly as planned, contacted my diet buddy!

A big change in weight for 24 hours! YAY!! I'm sure that's a big relief. Do you plan to continue with the cleanse for the full five days, even if your weight drops substantially?

my report: weighed 129.4 this morning (down .6), stuck to my plan except for adding about 2 ounces of grilled chicken due to really extreme hunger, ate everything slowly and mindfully, read my cards, contacted my diet buddy, took a walk in the mall (too cold and snowy to walk outside). When I couldn't upload the data from my Exerspy last night, I decided to try the watch that goes with it instead. I had never even opened the package, I'm embarrassed to say. But I wore it all day today, and I love it! I can see at any time exactly how many calories I have burned so far (or at least the number of calories the Exerspy says I have burned). Assuming that the data is accurate, I can get a really good sense of how well my intake correlates with my calorie burn, both quantitatively and time-wise.

Hope you had another good day today--and a pain-free one!

va1erie
01-16-2012, 11:30 AM
And I don't suppose YOU were able to get your money back, either. :( Sorry it was so disappointing. Oh, I don't care to get my money back. We're season ticket holders, and we know there'll always be a few stinkers in the mix. We like that they take risks with new plays/playwrights, and we're happy to support their experimenting even when it disappoints.

I hope your class is in session and that going will make you feel more in control. I continue to be amazed at how good exercise can make a body and mind feel. I sometimes regret not exercising, but never once have I regretted an exercise session! Same here! It was in session today, but when my alarm went off at 4:30 my jaw was already starting to give me pain even though I took a vicodin before bed last night. Fingers crossed for Wednesday.

A big change in weight for 24 hours! YAY!! I'm sure that's a big relief. Do you plan to continue with the cleanse for the full five days, even if your weight drops substantially? Yes, although I may do shakes-and-bars until dinner, then a reasonable low-glycemic dinner. It's just less of a drag when you know you have some real food to look forward to for the day.

my report: weighed 129.4 this morning (down .6), stuck to my plan except for adding about 2 ounces of grilled chicken due to really extreme hunger, ate everything slowly and mindfully, read my cards, contacted my diet buddy, took a walk in the mall (too cold and snowy to walk outside). When I couldn't upload the data from my Exerspy last night, I decided to try the watch that goes with it instead. I had never even opened the package, I'm embarrassed to say. But I wore it all day today, and I love it! I can see at any time exactly how many calories I have burned so far (or at least the number of calories the Exerspy says I have burned). Assuming that the data is accurate, I can get a really good sense of how well my intake correlates with my calorie burn, both quantitatively and time-wise. Oh, cool on the exerspy watch!

Report: weighed (down again, to 113.2 or 3.8 below goal.) I'd like to be solidly at 6ish below goal (that is, in the 111s for several weeks) by the time we leave for our trip, which is just over two months from now and seems like a very reasonable goal. I doubt I'll lose much more from this cleanse, even if I were to do it religiously, but it still helps with eliminating the carb cravings. But once it's over I'm going to work very hard on eating very, very reasonably: low-glycemic and 1400 calories or less per day.

4EverLearning
01-16-2012, 10:40 PM
Oh, I don't care to get my money back. We're season ticket holders, and we know there'll always be a few stinkers in the mix. We like that they take risks with new plays/playwrights, and we're happy to support their experimenting even when it disappoints.

So you're a patron of the arts! Cool! I would definitely get season tickets for the performing arts center at my campus if I had someone to go with.

Same here! It was in session today, but when my alarm went off at 4:30 my jaw was already starting to give me pain even though I took a vicodin before bed last night. Fingers crossed for Wednesday.

ACK on the pain and ACK ACK ACK on the 4:30AM alarm!! I'd rather go to bed at 4:30 than get up at 4:30! Hopefully you will be up for your class on Wednesday.

Yes, although I may do shakes-and-bars until dinner, then a reasonable low-glycemic dinner. It's just less of a drag when you know you have some real food to look forward to for the day.

Have you ever actually stuck to just the shakes and bars for the full five days?

Oh, cool on the exerspy watch!

It is! I feel like I have a new toy! I won't wear it tomorrow, though, or at least not during work hours. I may wear the Exerspy at work a couple of times (when I am wearing something that covers it up) so that I can see how many calories I burn when I teach. Teaching leaves me feeling completely wrung out sometimes, and often very hungry, so I'm curious to see how many calories it burns. I always feel like I put a tremendous amount of energy into it, so I often wonder if reality matches my perception.

Report: weighed (down again, to 113.2 or 3.8 below goal.) I'd like to be solidly at 6ish below goal (that is, in the 111s for several weeks) by the time we leave for our trip, which is just over two months from now and seems like a very reasonable goal. I doubt I'll lose much more from this cleanse, even if I were to do it religiously, but it still helps with eliminating the carb cravings. But once it's over I'm going to work very hard on eating very, very reasonably: low-glycemic and 1400 calories or less per day.

YAY on getting so far below goal so quickly! Your plan sounds very doable and reasonable. While you are working hard on what you are eating, remember to work on your thoughts and habits, too. Maybe some of your habits have slid a little, and that contributed to your gain?

my report: my weight was up .4 (no clue why), did not read my cards, did eat slowly and mindfully, had a perfect OP day, got no exercise, contacted my diet buddy.

OK, I need to get to bed and at least pretend to try to go to sleep, since tomorrow is one of my early class days. UGH. Hope you had a good day today!

va1erie
01-17-2012, 08:05 AM
Damn, just typed in a complete response, then had to reboot and even though I'd saved it to cut-and-paste it must have lost the save when I rebooted. Report: weighed (up, 2.4 below goal, but that's okay), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, left a bite (left a half a burger, in fact), contacted my diet buddy. Have to run off to an appointment, but if I get a chance to I'll come back in and recreate my earlier reply!

4EverLearning
01-17-2012, 10:13 PM
Damn, just typed in a complete response, then had to reboot and even though I'd saved it to cut-and-paste it must have lost the save when I rebooted. Report: weighed (up, 2.4 below goal, but that's okay), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, left a bite (left a half a burger, in fact), contacted my diet buddy. Have to run off to an appointment, but if I get a chance to I'll come back in and recreate my earlier reply!

I HATE when that happens!!

Hope you had a good day today. I had a fine day eating-wise but am not feeling well--either have a cold or a sinus infection. I didn't sleep well last night, either, and then had to get up way too early, so hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. My weight was down .2 this morning.

va1erie
01-18-2012, 08:39 AM
I HATE when that happens!!

Hope you had a good day today. I had a fine day eating-wise but am not feeling well--either have a cold or a sinus infection. I didn't sleep well last night, either, and then had to get up way too early, so hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. My weight was down .2 this morning.

I hate it, too. Weighed (down again, 3.8 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully, sitting down, left a bite.

Have you ever actually stuck to just the shakes and bars for the full five days? Yes, I've done the entire thing twice, and it is a total drag. But it works. Sometimes I've done Atkins induction for three days. That's actually a lot more fun and definitely kills the cravings too, but it's so high calorie that I've never tried doing it except as a way to jump start when I'm already heavy.

It is! I feel like I have a new toy! I won't wear it tomorrow, though, or at least not during work hours. I may wear the Exerspy at work a couple of times (when I am wearing something that covers it up) so that I can see how many calories I burn when I teach. Teaching leaves me feeling completely wrung out sometimes, and often very hungry, so I'm curious to see how many calories it burns. I always feel like I put a tremendous amount of energy into it, so I often wonder if reality matches my perception. I'd love to hear how teaching compares to other periods during your work day!

Have a great day!

4EverLearning
01-18-2012, 10:37 PM
I hate it, too. Weighed (down again, 3.8 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully, sitting down, left a bite.

YAY on the weight drop! Are you feeling more in control again?

Yes, I've done the entire thing twice, and it is a total drag. But it works. Sometimes I've done Atkins induction for three days. That's actually a lot more fun and definitely kills the cravings too, but it's so high calorie that I've never tried doing it except as a way to jump start when I'm already heavy.

I've never tried Atkins. It just never made any sense to me to consume so much fat; it just seems so counter-intuitive. But I know several people who swear by it.

I'd love to hear how teaching compares to other periods during your work day!

I'm going to try it tomorrow, when I teach two classes back-to-back. I'm very curious.

I forgot to weigh this morning (overslept and was rushing like mad to get to school on time). I had a great training session, despite not feeling very well. I ate a little less than planned, because I fell asleep after the training session and missed a snack as a result. Oddly, or maybe not so oddly since I don't feel well, I wasn't particularly hungry despite undereating.

I have an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow (my GP referred me), and I'm very nervous about it. I'm hoping he won't want me to go through yet another screening any time soon. I'm curious what he will say about taking Tamoxifen and about the possibility of prophylactic mastectomies.

Hope you had another good day!

va1erie
01-19-2012, 11:03 AM
YAY on the weight drop! Are you feeling more in control again? Mmmm...well, since I had a wine-induced snackfest last night and a one-pound gain today, maybe not so much! :) Yeah, I feel okay. Not perfect, but okay.

I'm going to try it tomorrow, when I teach two classes back-to-back. I'm very curious. What did it show?

I forgot to weigh this morning (overslept and was rushing like mad to get to school on time). I had a great training session, despite not feeling very well. I ate a little less than planned, because I fell asleep after the training session and missed a snack as a result. Oddly, or maybe not so oddly since I don't feel well, I wasn't particularly hungry despite undereating. Pretty good day, though not so much the not feeling well part.

I have an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow (my GP referred me), and I'm very nervous about it. I'm hoping he won't want me to go through yet another screening any time soon. I'm curious what he will say about taking Tamoxifen and about the possibility of prophylactic mastectomies. What did he say?

Report: weighed (up to 2.4 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully until after dinner. Didn't exercise. Tomorrow, I'm going to class no matter what! I'm headed out of town (college visit to Davidson in NC), leaving very early tomorrow and will be back late Saturday night, so if I don't get on here until Sunday that's why! I'll try to, though.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
01-19-2012, 11:38 PM
Mmmm...well, since I had a wine-induced snackfest last night and a one-pound gain today, maybe not so much! :) Yeah, I feel okay. Not perfect, but okay.

Was yesterday the first day after your cleanse, or had you already given that up? Do you think there is any connection between the restriction of the cleanse and your snackfest? Glad to year you are feeling OK, if not perfect!

What did it show?

I discovered that I burn about 175 calories an hour teaching, which is virtually the same as what I burn during a training session that focuses mostly on strength training!! Is that crazy, or what? I burned just over 2000 calories yesterday and again today, the first time I have ever gone over 2000 calories in a day. I'm not sure what to make of that. Sometimes I have to wonder how accurate that Exerspy is.



What did he say?

We had a good discussion about the possibility of prophylactic mastectomies, and he explained why the risks of that are probably greater than the risk of getting cancer at this point, although I was impressed at how well he listened to me when I described the chronic stress this all causes me. He convinced me to try a drug called Evista, which has fewer risks than Tamoxifen. But it still has some nasty risks (like strokes and blood clots) and some undesirable side effects (water retention, weight gain, hot flashes, leg cramps, joint pain). I'm just going to try it for three months and see if I can tolerate it. I told him about my weight loss, and he said he never would have guessed that to look at me, partly because I am skinny and partly because I do not have the pinched look of someone who has lost a lot of weight! (Take that, Bev!! :p) However, supporting Bev's contention that I am obsessed with my weight, I admit that I am a little freaked out about taking a medication that has weight gain as a side effect. I will be paying careful attention to that and will do what I can to counteract it.

Report: weighed (up to 2.4 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully until after dinner. Didn't exercise. Tomorrow, I'm going to class no matter what! I'm headed out of town (college visit to Davidson in NC), leaving very early tomorrow and will be back late Saturday night, so if I don't get on here until Sunday that's why! I'll try to, though.

YAY for still being well under goal! Did you go to your class today? I bet it felt good! I know someone, or used to know someone, who teaches psych at Davidson. Hope you have a safe trip and a good visit.

my report: weight was down .4 compared to two days ago, ate very mindfully but not completely OP. I went to a happy hour with some colleagues at school on the spur of the moment and drank two glasses of wine. I didn't overeat, though, and actually ate a smaller dinner to compensate, but I still was up to almost 1800 calories for the day. I had a LOT of fun! We're going to make this a regular Thursday evening event, so I have to make sure to plan for it and deal with it.

Can't wait to hear how Jane and you like Davidson! Check in when you can but don't stress about it if you can't.

va1erie
01-20-2012, 08:56 AM
Was yesterday the first day after your cleanse, or had you already given that up? Do you think there is any connection between the restriction of the cleanse and your snackfest? Glad to year you are feeling OK, if not perfect! It was supposed to be a semi-cleanse day -- bars and shakes until dinner -- but then after dinner I went a little berserk. It was Jane's finals/midterms week, and she always brings a lot of junk into the house those days. I'm sure there is a connection between the restriction of the cleanse and the snackfest. It always makes me feel a little sorry for myself. :D



I discovered that I burn about 175 calories an hour teaching, which is virtually the same as what I burn during a training session that focuses mostly on strength training!! Wow! So basically all you have to do to maintain your weight is increase your class load! :D

We had a good discussion about the possibility of prophylactic mastectomies, and he explained why the risks of that are probably greater than the risk of getting cancer at this point, although I was impressed at how well he listened to me when I described the chronic stress this all causes me. He convinced me to try a drug called Evista, which has fewer risks than Tamoxifen. But it still has some nasty risks (like strokes and blood clots) and some undesirable side effects (water retention, weight gain, hot flashes, leg cramps, joint pain). I'm just going to try it for three months and see if I can tolerate it. Well, it sounds like he has a really thoughtful plan. I told him about my weight loss, and he said he never would have guessed that to look at me, partly because I am skinny and partly because I do not have the pinched look of someone who has lost a lot of weight! (Take that, Bev!! :p) Ha! However, supporting Bev's contention that I am obsessed with my weight, I admit that I am a little freaked out about taking a medication that has weight gain as a side effect. I will be paying careful attention to that and will do what I can to counteract it. I don't blame you a bit. It would worry me, too. But the drug can't MAKE you gain weight. It can only make you either hungrier -- which you can counter by bulking up your meals -- or slow your metabolism, which you can counter with exercise. Do you know HOW it encourages weight gain? That is, are people hungrier, or does it slow your metabolism, or is it just the water retention that mimics weight gain?

YAY for still being well under goal! Did you go to your class today? I bet it felt good! I did go! It was great, a new instructor the owner just hired, and I like her a lot. She's actually a neighbor whom I don't know very well and have never found particularly interesting, but she is a great trainer. Really picky about form, which I think is very helpful and which I think the owner of the studio never pays enough attention to. I liked her better as an instructor than the owner, so I'm hoping she'll do a lot of our sessions.

I know someone, or used to know someone, who teaches psych at Davidson. Hope you have a safe trip and a good visit. Thanks! I'll report back. Who's the teacher you know? Unfortunately Jane won't be able to sit in on any classes, as we'll be visiting Saturday, but we've heard very good things about Davidson.

my report: weight was down .4 compared to two days ago, ate very mindfully but not completely OP. I went to a happy hour with some colleagues at school on the spur of the moment and drank two glasses of wine. I didn't overeat, though, and actually ate a smaller dinner to compensate, but I still was up to almost 1800 calories for the day. I had a LOT of fun! We're going to make this a regular Thursday evening event, so I have to make sure to plan for it and deal with it. I think regular happy hours are great for colleagues! You can definitely fit a couple of glasses of wine into a weekly schedule. Remove a snack and choose the lowest-calorie entrees and you'll probably cover it.

Have a great day! I'll try to get in her tomorrow if possible -- probably depends on how late we get home and how tired I am.

4EverLearning
01-20-2012, 11:50 PM
It was supposed to be a semi-cleanse day -- bars and shakes until dinner -- but then after dinner I went a little berserk. It was Jane's finals/midterms week, and she always brings a lot of junk into the house those days. I'm sure there is a connection between the restriction of the cleanse and the snackfest. It always makes me feel a little sorry for myself. :D

There's this really interesting new body of research that helps explain why unplanned eating is so much more likely at night. People apparently have a continually renewing, but limited, amount of "willpower". This reservoir is depleted not only by times when we resist temptation but also by simply having to make a decision. So, by the end of the day, particularly a day that has been stressful, challenging, or has involved more than the usual number of decisions, we're less likely to have enough "will" left over to resist tempting foods.



Wow! So basically all you have to do to maintain your weight is increase your class load! :D

BITE YOUR TONGUE!!!

Well, it sounds like he has a really thoughtful plan. Ha! I don't blame you a bit. It would worry me, too. But the drug can't MAKE you gain weight. It can only make you either hungrier -- which you can counter by bulking up your meals -- or slow your metabolism, which you can counter with exercise. Do you know HOW it encourages weight gain? That is, are people hungrier, or does it slow your metabolism, or is it just the water retention that mimics weight gain?

I can find nothing that suggests the reason for the weight gain. The identification of weight gain as a possible risk appears to be based on nothing but self-report data from straightforward placebo-control studies. In other words, women taking the drug are statistically significantly more likely to report having gained weight than women who are unknowingly taking a sugar pill instead. But the difference between the drug group and the placebo group appears to be pretty small. Obviously water retention would account for part of it. I am hoping that my Exerspy will help me keep a handle on things. If my metabolism slows down, I should be able to see that on the Exerspy.

I did go! It was great, a new instructor the owner just hired, and I like her a lot. She's actually a neighbor whom I don't know very well and have never found particularly interesting, but she is a great trainer. Really picky about form, which I think is very helpful and which I think the owner of the studio never pays enough attention to. I liked her better as an instructor than the owner, so I'm hoping she'll do a lot of our sessions.

Interesting that the class would feel so different with a different instructor. I think I would tend to respond best to an exercise instructor who exhibits a lot of empathy and encouragement--emotional support. But in the long run it would undoubtedly be more beneficial to have an instructor who really knows good form and can convey that to the clients.

Thanks! I'll report back. Who's the teacher you know? Unfortunately Jane won't be able to sit in on any classes, as we'll be visiting Saturday, but we've heard very good things about Davidson.

Her name is Ruth Ault. I know her from years ago when we were both active in the Society for the Teaching of Psychology. She's older than I am and may have retired by now. I haven't heard anything from or about her in years. I hope you had a good visit!

I think regular happy hours are great for colleagues! You can definitely fit a couple of glasses of wine into a weekly schedule. Remove a snack and choose the lowest-calorie entrees and you'll probably cover it.

I need to pour 4 oz. of water into a wine glass so I can visualize it and figure out how many ounces of wine I am drinking. I suspect that the size of a "glass" varies substantially from one bar to another.

my report: my weight was down a full pound this morning (I suspect dehydration due to the wine; it will probably be back tomorrow). I ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get any exercise and in fact was pretty lazy, taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon. My Exerspy says I burned over 1800 calories today, though. Did not read my cards. Contacted my diet buddy. Gave myself lots of credit, not only for dealing well with eating issues but also for working hard to overcome my social anxieties (going to the happy hour was an intentional effort to practice socializing with people I don't know well [most of the faculty there were the younger ones], and I'm still writing back and forth with my eharmony match).

Hope you had a safe trip. The weather has been really nasty.

4EverLearning
01-21-2012, 11:59 PM
Today wasn't my best day. I ate three extra desserts tonight. I've felt on edge all day, I think due to my ambivalence about taking that darn drug. Oh, well, move on, tomorrow will be a better day.

My weight was up .6 this morning. Eating was fine until tonight. Got no exercise. Contacted my diet buddy.

Can't wait to hear about your trip!

va1erie
01-22-2012, 08:34 AM
There's this really interesting new body of research that helps explain why unplanned eating is so much more likely at night. People apparently have a continually renewing, but limited, amount of "willpower". This reservoir is depleted not only by times when we resist temptation but also by simply having to make a decision. So, by the end of the day, particularly a day that has been stressful, challenging, or has involved more than the usual number of decisions, we're less likely to have enough "will" left over to resist tempting foods. Oh, that is interesting, and it makes so much sense. I definitely feel stronger in the mornings. So basically all =I= have to do to maintain is make sure I go to bed early! :)

I can find nothing that suggests the reason for the weight gain. The identification of weight gain as a possible risk appears to be based on nothing but self-report data from straightforward placebo-control studies. In other words, women taking the drug are statistically significantly more likely to report having gained weight than women who are unknowingly taking a sugar pill instead. But the difference between the drug group and the placebo group appears to be pretty small. Obviously water retention would account for part of it. I am hoping that my Exerspy will help me keep a handle on things. If my metabolism slows down, I should be able to see that on the Exerspy. Glad the difference is small! Just because it's statistically significant doesn't have to mean it's large.

Interesting that the class would feel so different with a different instructor. I think I would tend to respond best to an exercise instructor who exhibits a lot of empathy and encouragement--emotional support. But in the long run it would undoubtedly be more beneficial to have an instructor who really knows good form and can convey that to the clients. You'd like Elyse (the owner of the studio) better than Giselle. Giselle's a woman in my neighborhood who is so scary fit, even Jane has commented on it -- that Giselle has so little body fat her face looks haggard. Which is true, I suspect she's younger than I am and she looks ten years older. But her body looks like a teenage gymnast. And there's a story in the neighborhood from when her son was first old enough to have playdates without Mom and had lunch at another neighbor's, who made sandwiches and then sat down to lunch with the kids. Giselle's son said, "I thought Mommies didn't eat lunch." Interestingly, her daughter is overweight. Maybe doesn't qualify as obese, but major muffintop territory.

I hope you had a good visit! Unfortunately Davidson is probably ruled out. When we finished the tour and were standing outside the admission office waiting to file into the info session, Jane said, "Do you want to just leave?" I said, "No info session?" And she said she'd learned enough from the tour. Back in the car, she said, "I just kept checking off things I didn't want in a college." Davidson is heavily Greek -- 50% of guys join frats, and while there are no sororities, there are "Eating Houses" which 80% of women self-select into their second semester. And Davidson is Div I for most athletics, which for a student body that small (1900) translates to 26% of students being varsity athletes. It's too bad because the campus is gorgeous, and they have an interdisciplinary department. Many of the colleges Jane is looking at will let you design a major if they don't offer one to match your interests, but having an actual formalized department to assist is very nice.

I need to pour 4 oz. of water into a wine glass so I can visualize it and figure out how many ounces of wine I am drinking. I suspect that the size of a "glass" varies substantially from one bar to another. Absolutely! I've seen everything from a 5 oz pour to a 10 oz. You'll almost never see a 4 oz unless you're in a bar that serves so little wine they do it from those little individual bottles. And while you're measuring, make sure to do it into different shape and size wine glasses. John and I bought a couple of 6-oz wine glasses to use for ourselves, and next time I buy a set I'm definitely going to buy 6-ouncers and put away the bigger glasses to use when we have large groups over and need the extras. People tend not to drink as much when they're using 6-ounce glasses.

my report: my weight was down a full pound this morning (I suspect dehydration due to the wine; it will probably be back tomorrow). I ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get any exercise and in fact was pretty lazy, taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon. My Exerspy says I burned over 1800 calories today, though. Did not read my cards. Contacted my diet buddy. Gave myself lots of credit, not only for dealing well with eating issues but also for working hard to overcome my social anxieties (going to the happy hour was an intentional effort to practice socializing with people I don't know well [most of the faculty there were the younger ones], and I'm still writing back and forth with my eharmony match). Yay, you for going to happy hour even though it was stressful, and for deciding you'll join the group regularly. Younger faculty members might have older single colleagues, friends or family members, too. :) BTW, if anyone suggests fixing you up on a blind date with someone, from experience a better way it is to simply invite both of you to a group event you'd both feel comfortable at and only informally mention to each of you privately beforehand that there's another single coming.

Today wasn't my best day. I ate three extra desserts tonight. I've felt on edge all day, I think due to my ambivalence about taking that darn drug. Oh, well, move on, tomorrow will be a better day.

My weight was up .6 this morning. Eating was fine until tonight. Got no exercise. Contacted my diet buddy. I'm sure you do feel ambivalent. How great are the risks of clotting, etc.? Do you have any conditions that would make that more likely? I'm sure being fit and only in your fifties must be helpful. Is there any way to determine your relative likelihood to form clots? What I mean is, are there tests that can show that a person already has blood that's likely to clot? I bruise like crazy, so I've always assumed I have thin blood. :)

Report: Ate pretty crappy yesterday on the road. It was raining much of the way, and going through the mountains we had hair-raising fog. I would have gotten off the road if there'd been any lights at any of the exits we passed. Weighed this morning, and my weight was unchanged, which I totally didn't deserve. Going to make a big pot of vegetable soup and concentrate on veggies today as much as possible. Got minor exercise (90 minute tour of Davidson, but there was a lot of standing around.) Class tomorrow, yay!

Val

4EverLearning
01-22-2012, 08:52 PM
Oh, that is interesting, and it makes so much sense. I definitely feel stronger in the mornings. So basically all =I= have to do to maintain is make sure I go to bed early! :)

Yes, the implication is that we should do better at resisting temptation if we get enough sleep and if we go to bed early enough to quit while we are ahead!! I'm about to test that theory by going to bed shortly, both because I have not slept well for several nights and am extremely tired, and because I sense a binge coming on if I stay up too late (more on that later)!

Glad the difference is small! Just because it's statistically significant doesn't have to mean it's large.

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to encounter someone who understands statistical significance well enough to make that statement! And of course you are absolutely right. The difference is that about 9% of women on the drug report a weight gain, versus about 6% of women given a placebo. That's still a 50% increase, though, even though the absolute difference is small.

You'd like Elyse (the owner of the studio) better than Giselle. Giselle's a woman in my neighborhood who is so scary fit, even Jane has commented on it -- that Giselle has so little body fat her face looks haggard. Which is true, I suspect she's younger than I am and she looks ten years older. But her body looks like a teenage gymnast. And there's a story in the neighborhood from when her son was first old enough to have playdates without Mom and had lunch at another neighbor's, who made sandwiches and then sat down to lunch with the kids. Giselle's son said, "I thought Mommies didn't eat lunch." Interestingly, her daughter is overweight. Maybe doesn't qualify as obese, but major muffintop territory.

ACK ACK ACK, you're right--I would not like Giselle!! She sounds like a very scary and alien creature!! I am not surprised that she would have an overweight daughter. What daughter could possibly compete with a mother like that?

Unfortunately Davidson is probably ruled out. When we finished the tour and were standing outside the admission office waiting to file into the info session, Jane said, "Do you want to just leave?" I said, "No info session?" And she said she'd learned enough from the tour. Back in the car, she said, "I just kept checking off things I didn't want in a college." Davidson is heavily Greek -- 50% of guys join frats, and while there are no sororities, there are "Eating Houses" which 80% of women self-select into their second semester. And Davidson is Div I for most athletics, which for a student body that small (1900) translates to 26% of students being varsity athletes. It's too bad because the campus is gorgeous, and they have an interdisciplinary department. Many of the colleges Jane is looking at will let you design a major if they don't offer one to match your interests, but having an actual formalized department to assist is very nice.

If Jane felt that strongly turned off so soon into the visit, I am sure that is not the place for her. I wouldn't like the emphasis on Greek life and sports, either. I don't think I've ever heard of a campus that has such a high percentage of varsity athletes. Having an interdisciplinary department would be a real plus, though. As you said, those are rare.

Absolutely! I've seen everything from a 5 oz pour to a 10 oz. You'll almost never see a 4 oz unless you're in a bar that serves so little wine they do it from those little individual bottles. And while you're measuring, make sure to do it into different shape and size wine glasses. John and I bought a couple of 6-oz wine glasses to use for ourselves, and next time I buy a set I'm definitely going to buy 6-ouncers and put away the bigger glasses to use when we have large groups over and need the extras. People tend not to drink as much when they're using 6-ounce glasses.

I suspect the glasses I had were probably closer to 6 or 7 ounces than 4. I do not want to consume many calories in liquid form, so I need to get a handle on that.

Yay, you for going to happy hour even though it was stressful, and for deciding you'll join the group regularly. Younger faculty members might have older single colleagues, friends or family members, too. :) BTW, if anyone suggests fixing you up on a blind date with someone, from experience a better way it is to simply invite both of you to a group event you'd both feel comfortable at and only informally mention to each of you privately beforehand that there's another single coming.

The decision about whether to go or not was stressful. But actually being there was not at all, amazingly enough. It was just FUN. I can not remember the last time I laughed so much or felt so at ease in a social setting. And thank you for the advice on blind dating. I did decide to go to the happy hour partly because I recognize that the more people I come in contact with, and the more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to meet someone.

I'm sure you do feel ambivalent. How great are the risks of clotting, etc.? Do you have any conditions that would make that more likely? I'm sure being fit and only in your fifties must be helpful. Is there any way to determine your relative likelihood to form clots? What I mean is, are there tests that can show that a person already has blood that's likely to clot? I bruise like crazy, so I've always assumed I have thin blood. :)

I actually don't know if there's any kind of test that can predict the risk of clots; that's something to ask my doctor. I do have risk factors (family history, past diabetes, high cholesterol). The risk of clots from the drug is small, though; much smaller than the risk that I will get breast cancer at some point. (The oncologist calculated that my risk is about 5% over the next 5 years and about 1 in 3 over my lifetime, identical to the risks I had calculated myself by researching the mathematical models that are used in this situation.) I finally went to the drugstore today and bought the medication after three days of carrying the prescription around and hemming and hawing. I haven't put a pill in my mouth yet, though!

Report: Ate pretty crappy yesterday on the road. It was raining much of the way, and going through the mountains we had hair-raising fog. I would have gotten off the road if there'd been any lights at any of the exits we passed. Weighed this morning, and my weight was unchanged, which I totally didn't deserve. Going to make a big pot of vegetable soup and concentrate on veggies today as much as possible. Got minor exercise (90 minute tour of Davidson, but there was a lot of standing around.) Class tomorrow, yay!

Sometimes we don't get what we deserve--and sometimes we get what we don't deserve!! I'm still often taken by surprise by what the scale says. But I'm glad that in this case you did not get what you think you "deserved"! Veggie soup sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

I found out today that my 23-year-old married niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great-aunt! I'm excited about having a baby to spoil, the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild to fill that role.

The reason I need to go to bed before I go off the deep end and start stuffing my face is that I got an email from my eharmony match this evening asking me to call him to arrange for us to get together next weekend. Actually, the tone was more like telling me than asking--something like, "I'd like for us to get together next Saturday or Sunday." That took me aback a bit, but I do really like him, and we have a good, low-key, occasionally flirty banter going back and forth. But of course the idea of an actual conversation ramps up the anxiety level. (Writing is a lot easier for me, since I can think through what I am saying and edit if necessary.) Sigh.......I am such a basket case sometimes.:dizzy:

Hope you had a good day!

Oh, I am so rattled, I forgot my report!! My weight was up .4 this morning, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did not get much exercise (just cleaning my condo and doing laundry), contacted my diet buddy.

OK, now I think I can go to bed!

va1erie
01-23-2012, 08:52 AM
Yes, the implication is that we should do better at resisting temptation if we get enough sleep and if we go to bed early enough to quit while we are ahead!! I'm about to test that theory by going to bed shortly, both because I have not slept well for several nights and am extremely tired, and because I sense a binge coming on if I stay up too late (more on that later)! Good for you for sensing the impending binge and going to bed instead! :)

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to encounter someone who understands statistical significance well enough to make that statement! And of course you are absolutely right. The difference is that about 9% of women on the drug report a weight gain, versus about 6% of women given a placebo. That's still a 50% increase, though, even though the absolute difference is small. Do you know what the average weight gain was for the groups, whether it was a bigger gain for the study group, what the study length was? If it was a couple of pounds over six months for 9% of the treatment group vs. a pound for 6% of the control group over the same period, that would also be no big deal -- like 20 calories a day difference between the two weight gains.

If Jane felt that strongly turned off so soon into the visit, I am sure that is not the place for her. I wouldn't like the emphasis on Greek life and sports, either. I don't think I've ever heard of a campus that has such a high percentage of varsity athletes. I'd guess it becomes self-perpetuating, too. I don't know of any other LAC that has so many Div I sports. Almost all the schools Jane is looking at have ZERO Div I. Colorado College has two -- men's hockey and women's soccer -- and Jane thinks that might be fun. Two teams that everyone is rooting for and that occasionally go to the tournaments, but otherwise students are playing sports because they love them rather than because their scholarships depend on them.

I suspect the glasses I had were probably closer to 6 or 7 ounces than 4. I do not want to consume many calories in liquid form, so I need to get a handle on that. A six-ounce glass in a restaurant is pretty rare. In a bar where wine is seldom served and they're using a 6-ounce glass for a 4-oz pour from an individual bottle, you see them because a 4-oz pour looks like nothing in anything much bigger than a 12-ounce glass. I suspect an 8-ounce pour is more common than a 4-ounce except in fine dining restaurants where they're serving more expensive wines and know their customers aren't expecting their wineglasses to look full.

4-ounce pour in a 6-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/DSC_0005-1.jpg

4-ounce pour in a 12-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/DSC_0006-1.jpg

Side-by-side:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/DSC_0002-3.jpg

The decision about whether to go or not was stressful. But actually being there was not at all, amazingly enough. It was just FUN. I can not remember the last time I laughed so much or felt so at ease in a social setting. And thank you for the advice on blind dating. I did decide to go to the happy hour partly because I recognize that the more people I come in contact with, and the more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to meet someone. Good for you on all fronts!

I actually don't know if there's any kind of test that can predict the risk of clots; that's something to ask my doctor. I do have risk factors (family history, past diabetes, high cholesterol). The risk of clots from the drug is small, though; much smaller than the risk that I will get breast cancer at some point. (The oncologist calculated that my risk is about 5% over the next 5 years and about 1 in 3 over my lifetime, identical to the risks I had calculated myself by researching the mathematical models that are used in this situation.) I finally went to the drugstore today and bought the medication after three days of carrying the prescription around and hemming and hawing. I haven't put a pill in my mouth yet, though! Baby steps. :)

Sometimes we don't get what we deserve--and sometimes we get what we don't deserve!! I'm still often taken by surprise by what the scale says. But I'm glad that in this case you did not get what you think you "deserved"! Veggie soup sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Well, I got it today, even after a fairly good day yesterday -- up to 1.4 under goal. Ack. More vegetable soup. Actually I have to make dinner for a neighbor, so maybe I'll make my hubby's favorite mulligatawny soup for both us and them.

I found out today that my 23-year-old married niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great-aunt! I'm excited about having a baby to spoil, the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild to fill that role. How fun! When is she due, and does she know whether it's a boy or a girl yet? Shopping for girl-babies is so fun. Mommy-friendly hint: buy clothes the next size or two up from newborn. Every new mom gets way too many newborn sizes, and they grow out of them faster than you can use them all. If you do want to buy some newborn stuff, try a consignment shop -- you can often find stuff still with the tags on at a fourth the original price.

The reason I need to go to bed before I go off the deep end and start stuffing my face is that I got an email from my eharmony match this evening asking me to call him to arrange for us to get together next weekend. Actually, the tone was more like telling me than asking--something like, "I'd like for us to get together next Saturday or Sunday." That took me aback a bit, but I do really like him, and we have a good, low-key, occasionally flirty banter going back and forth. But of course the idea of an actual conversation ramps up the anxiety level. (Writing is a lot easier for me, since I can think through what I am saying and edit if necessary.) Sigh.......I am such a basket case sometimes.:dizzy: Hm, on feeling like he was telling instead of asking. That could be simply the difficulties of getting the tone absolutely right in email combined with your anxiety, if you see what I mean. He may not have meant it to feel like telling at all -- his own anxiety may be a factor. Asking feels like giving all the control to the other person, and subconsciously what he said may have felt like it made him less vulnerable than asking, "Would you like to get together?" If the answer to that is "No," it's a rejection. If he is simply stating what he'd like to do -- "I'd like us to get together" -- it may feel less like he's sticking his neck out. The answer to his question could be "I'm not ready yet" or "I'd like that, too," and neither of those would feel as bad, maybe.

Are you going to do it? Maybe to help with your anxiety you could suggest something that offers you an easy retreat? Maybe a movie, followed by a drink or coffee? Having a movie first gives you a chance to catch your breath after you've had your initial conversation, and then afterwards you have something to talk about, and drinks/coffee doesn't impose a time frame on you -- it can take up half an hour or five. Dinner allows no graceful exit in under two hours, and it's all one-to-one face-to-face time, much of it spent waiting.

Report: weighed, didn't read my cards, went to class this morning even though I really didn't want to. But it wasn't really a struggle -- even as I was thinking I didn't want to, I knew I was going to. Ate reasonably, though apparently not reasonably enough. Had a nice low-cal but satisfying breakfast just now -- a lowfat Nutrigrain waffle cut in 4ths and used to as the bread for two veggie sausage patties from Trader Joe's. I still feel hungry, but I'm sure I'll be fine in 20 minutes.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
01-23-2012, 11:25 PM
Good for you for sensing the impending binge and going to bed instead! :)

I did go to bed, but not to sleep! I tossed and turned for almost 5 hours before falling asleep. I didn't eat anything, though.

Do you know what the average weight gain was for the groups, whether it was a bigger gain for the study group, what the study length was? If it was a couple of pounds over six months for 9% of the treatment group vs. a pound for 6% of the control group over the same period, that would also be no big deal -- like 20 calories a day difference between the two weight gains.

No, all I've read is general summaries of the side effects, not the original research. So I have no idea of what the magnitude of the weight gain might be. I've seen a couple of anecdotes ("user reviews") from women claiming to have gained large amounts of weight (one claimed to gain almost 30 pounds), but anecdotal evidence is notoriously unreliable.

I'd guess it becomes self-perpetuating, too. I don't know of any other LAC that has so many Div I sports. Almost all the schools Jane is looking at have ZERO Div I. Colorado College has two -- men's hockey and women's soccer -- and Jane thinks that might be fun. Two teams that everyone is rooting for and that occasionally go to the tournaments, but otherwise students are playing sports because they love them rather than because their scholarships depend on them.

The whole concept of athletic scholarships makes no sense to me, even though I understand that sports generates lots of income. It just seems so fundamentally wrong to me to throw so much money at the athletes and not at the academically gifted and/or financially needy students. Sports should be about fun. HA! Am I naive or what?!

A six-ounce glass in a restaurant is pretty rare. In a bar where wine is seldom served and they're using a 6-ounce glass for a 4-oz pour from an individual bottle, you see them because a 4-oz pour looks like nothing in anything much bigger than a 12-ounce glass. I suspect an 8-ounce pour is more common than a 4-ounce except in fine dining restaurants where they're serving more expensive wines and know their customers aren't expecting their wineglasses to look full.

4-ounce pour in a 6-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/DSC_0005-1.jpg

4-ounce pour in a 12-ounce glass:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/DSC_0006-1.jpg

Side-by-side:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/DSC_0002-3.jpg


Oh, my goodness. I really need to pay attention to how large the glasses are at that bar on Thursday. I do not want to be consuming so many calories in liquid form! And I'm such a cheap date these days, I really don't need to be consuming that much alcohol, either! Thanks for taking those pictures!


Baby steps. :)

That's my motto--most of the time, anyway! I think this is yet another example of my all-or-nothing tendencies. Most of the time, I inch forward in teensy baby steps. But occasionally, I do a free-fall over a cliff instead!! Meeting my eharmony match will feel like a free-fall over a cliff for me, although I recognize the irrationality of that!

Well, I got it today, even after a fairly good day yesterday -- up to 1.4 under goal. Ack. More vegetable soup. Actually I have to make dinner for a neighbor, so maybe I'll make my hubby's favorite mulligatawny soup for both us and them.

Well, that sucks. Don't you hate those delayed reactions?

How fun! When is she due, and does she know whether it's a boy or a girl yet? Shopping for girl-babies is so fun. Mommy-friendly hint: buy clothes the next size or two up from newborn. Every new mom gets way too many newborn sizes, and they grow out of them faster than you can use them all. If you do want to buy some newborn stuff, try a consignment shop -- you can often find stuff still with the tags on at a fourth the original price.

She's only four weeks along at this point, so it will be awhile before she knows the sex! I'm definitely hoping for a girl, just because it would be more fun to shop for a girl. Yeah, I know that babies outgrow their clothing really quickly. I'm sure consignment shops would have LOTS of infant stuff that's been outgrown before it was ever worn.

Hm, on feeling like he was telling instead of asking. That could be simply the difficulties of getting the tone absolutely right in email combined with your anxiety, if you see what I mean. He may not have meant it to feel like telling at all -- his own anxiety may be a factor. Asking feels like giving all the control to the other person, and subconsciously what he said may have felt like it made him less vulnerable than asking, "Would you like to get together?" If the answer to that is "No," it's a rejection. If he is simply stating what he'd like to do -- "I'd like us to get together" -- it may feel less like he's sticking his neck out. The answer to his question could be "I'm not ready yet" or "I'd like that, too," and neither of those would feel as bad, maybe.

Yeah, I think what you are saying sounds reasonable. I was probably reading too much into it. He did say he was really tired and had just spent the entire day writing a chapter of the textbook he is working on. But thank you for reminding me that HE could also be nervous or fear rejection. Intellectually, I know that, of course. But I tend to get so wrapped up in my own angst that I forget that I'm not alone in those feelings. It took me years to figure out that my students are often as nervous as I am at the beginning of a new semester, for instance! It just never occurs to me that I have the power to make people as nervous as they make me!! :o

Are you going to do it? Maybe to help with your anxiety you could suggest something that offers you an easy retreat? Maybe a movie, followed by a drink or coffee? Having a movie first gives you a chance to catch your breath after you've had your initial conversation, and then afterwards you have something to talk about, and drinks/coffee doesn't impose a time frame on you -- it can take up half an hour or five. Dinner allows no graceful exit in under two hours, and it's all one-to-one face-to-face time, much of it spent waiting.

Yes, I'm going to do it. (Just typing that sentence, I feel the wind blowing past my ears as I take that free-fall off the cliff!) Since we are three hours apart, I think I will suggest meeting in neutral territory somewhere about halfway in between. (I have a feeling he will volunteer to drive here, but I'm not ready for that yet.) So, before I call him, I will try to do some research to come up with ideas of places to go or things to do. That way I will feel that I have some control over the situation. I had already thought of going to a movie--as long as it has no embarrassing love scenes!!

Report: weighed, didn't read my cards, went to class this morning even though I really didn't want to. But it wasn't really a struggle -- even as I was thinking I didn't want to, I knew I was going to. Ate reasonably, though apparently not reasonably enough. Had a nice low-cal but satisfying breakfast just now -- a lowfat Nutrigrain waffle cut in 4ths and used to as the bread for two veggie sausage patties from Trader Joe's. I still feel hungry, but I'm sure I'll be fine in 20 minutes.

WERE you fine in 20 minutes? And isn't it amazing how the struggle ends when you KNOW what the outcome will be, because you haven't given yourself the option of questioning it? That NO CHOICE lesson is such a powerful one for me. I never realized the full extent to which my turmoil and agonizing were due to giving myself PERMISSION to struggle.

my report: weight was up .6 this morning (took me totally by surprise--and of course my first thought was, AM I RETAINING WATER ALREADY after taking one pill??! I'm sure that's not it!). Had a perfectly OP day despite having to go to a meeting at the main campus and not getting home until late this evening. I did have to eat one meal in the car, though. Sometimes it truly can't be avoided. Did not exercise (have a personal training session tomorrow).

Hope you had a good day and enjoyed that soup!

I'm off to bed. Man, I hope I can sleep. I am just exhausted, and tomorrow is one of the days when my first class is at 7:55. UGH.

va1erie
01-24-2012, 12:01 PM
I did go to bed, but not to sleep! I tossed and turned for almost 5 hours before falling asleep. I didn't eat anything, though. Oh, bummer on the insomnia! But good for you for not eating.

The whole concept of athletic scholarships makes no sense to me, even though I understand that sports generates lots of income. It just seems so fundamentally wrong to me to throw so much money at the athletes and not at the academically gifted and/or financially needy students. Sports should be about fun. HA! Am I naive or what?! No, I'm with you. Actually, I really respect the colleges that offer no athletic OR MERIT scholarships. All scholarships go to meet demonstrated financial need at (IIRC) Bowdoin, Middlebury, Haverford, Pomona, Vassar, Wesleyan -- there are no merit or athletic scholarships except the nominal ones (usually $2000, sometimes renewable) for National Merit Scholars. It sucks for families like us. A high-achieving student, but an income that is neither high enough to barely feel $50K nor low enough to qualify for need-based aid. But I believe colleges that focus all their funds on offsetting true need are acting with integrity. And when it comes right down to it, even with the tuitions at those schools, if the fit is right, that's where Jane will go even if it costs us double what it would at a school that offers Jane merit aid. It means cutting back other places, but we can do that. Which in the final assessment means we -can- afford it: we can afford the luxury of choosing to spend our money on the perfect fit school. :) And if -every- school did that, if every school gave ONLY need-based aid, if every school spent ALL their available aid money offsetting need...think about what that would mean! It would likely mean a lot more students could afford the luxury of going to their perfect fit school. So even though those schools will cost us a lot of money, it's one of the things I like about them and one of the reasons I'm glad Jane likes them. But of course it would be nice if Jane decided one of the schools that are offering her huge amounts of money was her perfect-fit school! :)

Yes, I'm going to do it. (Just typing that sentence, I feel the wind blowing past my ears as I take that free-fall off the cliff!) Since we are three hours apart, I think I will suggest meeting in neutral territory somewhere about halfway in between. (I have a feeling he will volunteer to drive here, but I'm not ready for that yet.) So, before I call him, I will try to do some research to come up with ideas of places to go or things to do. That way I will feel that I have some control over the situation. Very cool! I'm glad you're going to do this. Maybe it's good that he's three hours away. That lets you totally take it as slowly as you need to.


WERE you fine in 20 minutes? And isn't it amazing how the struggle ends when you KNOW what the outcome will be, because you haven't given yourself the option of questioning it? That NO CHOICE lesson is such a powerful one for me. I never realized the full extent to which my turmoil and agonizing were due to giving myself PERMISSION to struggle. Absolutely! And, yes, I was fine in 20 minutes.

my report: weight was up .6 this morning (took me totally by surprise--and of course my first thought was, AM I RETAINING WATER ALREADY after taking one pill??! I'm sure that's not it!). Had a perfectly OP day despite having to go to a meeting at the main campus and not getting home until late this evening. I did have to eat one meal in the car, though. Sometimes it truly can't be avoided. Did not exercise (have a personal training session tomorrow). So you did start the meds -- good for you.

Report: weighed, no change. Gar. Oh, well. Didn't exercise, but I have class tomorrow. Had leftover veggie soup for breakfast, am thinking about it for lunch too. Love this recipe.

4EverLearning
01-24-2012, 10:31 PM
Oh, bummer on the insomnia! But good for you for not eating.

Bummer indeed. Last night was another night of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted beyond measure. I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 or 5 hours in a night.

No, I'm with you. Actually, I really respect the colleges that offer no athletic OR MERIT scholarships. All scholarships go to meet demonstrated financial need at (IIRC) Bowdoin, Middlebury, Haverford, Pomona, Vassar, Wesleyan -- there are no merit or athletic scholarships except the nominal ones (usually $2000, sometimes renewable) for National Merit Scholars. It sucks for families like us. A high-achieving student, but an income that is neither high enough to barely feel $50K nor low enough to qualify for need-based aid. But I believe colleges that focus all their funds on offsetting true need are acting with integrity. And when it comes right down to it, even with the tuitions at those schools, if the fit is right, that's where Jane will go even if it costs us double what it would at a school that offers Jane merit aid. It means cutting back other places, but we can do that. Which in the final assessment means we -can- afford it: we can afford the luxury of choosing to spend our money on the perfect fit school. :) And if -every- school did that, if every school gave ONLY need-based aid, if every school spent ALL their available aid money offsetting need...think about what that would mean! It would likely mean a lot more students could afford the luxury of going to their perfect fit school. So even though those schools will cost us a lot of money, it's one of the things I like about them and one of the reasons I'm glad Jane likes them. But of course it would be nice if Jane decided one of the schools that are offering her huge amounts of money was her perfect-fit school! :)

Sticking to need-based scholarship assistance alone is indeed admirable and has my whole-hearted endorsement, although it does definitely suck for families like yours. (Jane is lucky indeed to have parents who are willing to sacrifice as necessary to put her in her perfect-fit school!) I've seen the downside of purely need-based financial assistance, though. Since my campus is open admissions, there are plenty of people who really aren't "college material" (as snobby as that probably sounds). I've seen lots of students who will probably never succeed under any circumstances. The taxpayers' money would be better spent, and the students' needs would be better served, funding some kind of career or trade school rather than academic work. But of course it is impossible to predict with perfect accuracy who will succeed, and everyone deserves "a chance to fail", as we often say. There is no easy answer. (Speaking of no easy answers, I am listening to the State of the Union address in the background as I write this!)

Very cool! I'm glad you're going to do this. Maybe it's good that he's three hours away. That lets you totally take it as slowly as you need to.

Me, too! I'm sure I'll be nervous as all get-out when the time to meet him approaches, but for now I'm mostly just excited. I CAN do this. I've done so many things I never thought I could, and lots of them were a lot scarier and more challenging than going out on a date!




So you did start the meds -- good for you.

Yes, I did, and now I am about to add another medication. The oncologist tested my Vitamin D level last week. Today when I got home there was a message on my answering machine telling me that my Vitamin D level is extremely low, and I need a prescription medication to correct it. I'm actually a little glad about this one, because I suspect I will feel a lot better when that problem is corrected. Vitamin D deficiency causes a lot of bone and muscle pain, along with muscle weakness and fragile bones, so I would bet that I will start to make even more progress with my exercise when my Vitamin D level normalizes. Back when I was getting so much physical therapy, I was in continual pain. Obviously things have much improved since then, but I still have a lot of achiness in my legs and hips. I read online that Vitamin D deficiency is often misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia because of the similarity of the symptoms. Of course I can not tell my "bear pals" about being vitamin deficient, because they will see it as further proof that I am starving myself! I would be willing to bet big money that I have had the Vitamin D deficiency for years.

Report: weighed, no change. Gar. Oh, well. Didn't exercise, but I have class tomorrow. Had leftover veggie soup for breakfast, am thinking about it for lunch too. Love this recipe.

After another soup day, I hope you will be rewarded with a drop on the scale tomorrow. Ah, so tomorrow you get another session with the terrifying Giselle?

my report: weight was down .6 this morning, had a good personal training session, took a friend to dinner (for her birthday) at Red Lobster and ordered a half portion of my favorite dish (shrimp linguine alfredo) but with the sauce on the side, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

I'm going to scream if I can't sleep tonight. I am very sore from the training session (trainer had me try a machine I'd never used before, and it just about killed my shoulders; it actually hurts to type this!) and utterly exhausted. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep before my big weekend! :o

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
01-25-2012, 05:48 AM
Bummer indeed. Last night was another night of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted beyond measure. I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 or 5 hours in a night. Good grief!

Sticking to need-based scholarship assistance alone is indeed admirable and has my whole-hearted endorsement, although it does definitely suck for families like yours. (Jane is lucky indeed to have parents who are willing to sacrifice as necessary to put her in her perfect-fit school!) I've seen the downside of purely need-based financial assistance, though. Since my campus is open admissions, there are plenty of people who really aren't "college material" (as snobby as that probably sounds). I've seen lots of students who will probably never succeed under any circumstances. The taxpayers' money would be better spent, and the students' needs would be better served, funding some kind of career or trade school rather than academic work. But of course it is impossible to predict with perfect accuracy who will succeed, and everyone deserves "a chance to fail", as we often say. There is no easy answer. (Speaking of no easy answers, I am listening to the State of the Union address in the background as I write this!) Oh, I hadn't thought about that -- at the schools Jane is applying to, of course any applicant who can get in is clearly college material. And, no, it doesn't sound snobby to me. But then I'm an intellectual snob. :D It irks to see the scattergrams for acceptances of kids from Jane's school at some schools -- you can absolutely see MAJOR outliers, and you just know those were recruited athletes.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/osusyc.png
(The blue diamonds were waitlisted.)

So do you think there should be some minimal qualifications for getting need-based aid at schools with open enrollment? Can kids not apply for financial aid to go to a trade school? That sucks -- the world does need plumbers. And then there's the related issue of all these for-profit colleges that are ripping kids off. I assume the people who are teaching at those places have their hearts in the right spots, but the sales pitches are really troubling.

Me, too! I'm sure I'll be nervous as all get-out when the time to meet him approaches, but for now I'm mostly just excited. I CAN do this. I've done so many things I never thought I could, and lots of them were a lot scarier and more challenging than going out on a date! Absolutely! Dating's scary, but you can do it.

Yes, I did, and now I am about to add another medication. The oncologist tested my Vitamin D level last week. Today when I got home there was a message on my answering machine telling me that my Vitamin D level is extremely low, and I need a prescription medication to correct it. I'm actually a little glad about this one, because I suspect I will feel a lot better when that problem is corrected. Vitamin D deficiency causes a lot of bone and muscle pain, along with muscle weakness and fragile bones, so I would bet that I will start to make even more progress with my exercise when my Vitamin D level normalizes. Back when I was getting so much physical therapy, I was in continual pain. Obviously things have much improved since then, but I still have a lot of achiness in my legs and hips. I read online that Vitamin D deficiency is often misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia because of the similarity of the symptoms. Of course I can not tell my "bear pals" about being vitamin deficient, because they will see it as further proof that I am starving myself! I would be willing to bet big money that I have had the Vitamin D deficiency for years. And have I heard that a Vitamin D deficiency can cause sleep issues? How long will it take to have the deficiency corrected with the meds, do you know? Hm, on not being able to tell your bear pals -- if it's related to something other than your food choices, then why would they think it was? Or do you think they'd just be discussing it behind your back?

After another soup day, I hope you will be rewarded with a drop on the scale tomorrow. Ah, so tomorrow you get another session with the terrifying Giselle? No, it was Elyse. But it was still a great workout. I just wish she'd work more on form. I see the form issues other people are having and that she's either not noticing or just not bothering to correct, and it makes me wonder what I'm doing incorrectly and not getting the best benefit.

my report: weight was down .6 this morning, had a good personal training session, took a friend to dinner (for her birthday) at Red Lobster and ordered a half portion of my favorite dish (shrimp linguine alfredo) but with the sauce on the side, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddy. So a great day! So how does it work with the sauce on the side? Do you just brush a forkful across the sauce to pick up a little of the flavoring?

I'm going to scream if I can't sleep tonight. I am very sore from the training session (trainer had me try a machine I'd never used before, and it just about killed my shoulders; it actually hurts to type this!) and utterly exhausted. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep before my big weekend! :o Have you tried Advil PM? That often works for me -- if I have a couple bad nights in a row, I take a couple Advil PM about half an hour before I go to bed.

Report: Weighed (no change, grr), ate reasonably, started feeling sick last night with lots of stomach gurgles, cramps, etc. Got up this morning to go to class anyway figuring I'd at least give it a chance, got dressed, but it had turned into, er, other gastrointestinal issues. I considered going anyway because I didn't really FEEL bad -- not weak or nauseated, I mean -- but finally decided that was nuts. But yay me for feeling disappointed about not being able to exercise! Maybe I'll get on the treadmill later. While I think about what kind of veg-heavy dinner I'd like to make. :)

4EverLearning
01-25-2012, 11:27 PM
Good grief!

I finally got some decent sleep last night, but I'm still really tired.

Oh, I hadn't thought about that -- at the schools Jane is applying to, of course any applicant who can get in is clearly college material. And, no, it doesn't sound snobby to me. But then I'm an intellectual snob. :D It irks to see the scattergrams for acceptances of kids from Jane's school at some schools -- you can absolutely see MAJOR outliers, and you just know those were recruited athletes.

I'm sure you're right about the athletes. And that is just not RIGHT!! If I was a parent of a really bright kid, I'd be majorly ticked off (from one intellectual snob to another ;)).


So do you think there should be some minimal qualifications for getting need-based aid at schools with open enrollment? Can kids not apply for financial aid to go to a trade school? That sucks -- the world does need plumbers. And then there's the related issue of all these for-profit colleges that are ripping kids off. I assume the people who are teaching at those places have their hearts in the right spots, but the sales pitches are really troubling.

I'm not sure how financial aid for trade schools works. But I've occasionally had students who can not even read at ALL--no, I'm not kidding. And I've had plenty of students who are functionally illiterate, and even a few who are developmentally disabled. Some of them create real behavior problems in class, and sometimes I resent having to deal with them when I KNOW that they're going to drive me crazy all semester and fail anyway. The worst part is that sometimes these students will take intro to psych multiple times, trying over and over to pass it, but fail repeatedly. It takes multiple semesters of academic failure before people are dismissed, and in the meantime they are wasting their own time and other people's money, and taking seats that other people could benefit from but get closed out of because the classes are already full. I'm all for equal opportunity, and occasionally someone who by every indication should not succeed will come in and just EXCEL. But they are few and far between, and the truth is that some people just plain don't belong in a college class. My students range in ability from illiterate to could-have-gone-to-Harvard, which makes it a real challenge for me to come up with a curriculum that will meet everyone's needs.

Absolutely! Dating's scary, but you can do it.

We spoke on the phone tonight, and the conversation was very easy and natural. He told me several times that I am "a delight." We're going to meet on Saturday in a city that is about halfway between us, for lunch at a really wonderful restaurant I went to once many years ago (and he has been there before, too). I'm still much more excited about it than I am nervous. Who am I, and what have I done with Robin???? :dizzy:

And have I heard that a Vitamin D deficiency can cause sleep issues? How long will it take to have the deficiency corrected with the meds, do you know? Hm, on not being able to tell your bear pals -- if it's related to something other than your food choices, then why would they think it was? Or do you think they'd just be discussing it behind your back?

I read about Vitamin D deficiency online and saw that it definitely does contribute to insomnia. It also exacerbates depression and anxiety (which I already knew). So I am hoping I will feel better on many fronts once I take care of that. I have no idea how long the meds will take to work, although I will only be taking one pill a week for 6 weeks, so it must be pretty potent stuff. As for my bear-pals, they would definitely talk behind my back about it. They would say that I'm vitamin deficient because I'm not eating enough, no matter what I might say to the contrary.

No, it was Elyse. But it was still a great workout. I just wish she'd work more on form. I see the form issues other people are having and that she's either not noticing or just not bothering to correct, and it makes me wonder what I'm doing incorrectly and not getting the best benefit.

I think that as long as you're moving, you're benefiting. But I do think correct form makes a difference, even if it's subtle. My trainer does a pretty good job of watching me and correcting my form and technique, which I appreciate. At first he didn't correct my form at all, but the stronger and the more skilled I get, the pickier he gets about form.

So a great day! So how does it work with the sauce on the side? Do you just brush a forkful across the sauce to pick up a little of the flavoring?

Yep. I get the sauce in a separate bowl and just barely touch the food to it. I get a little of the taste of that rich alfredo sauce but with a fraction of the calories. I do that often when I order restaurant dishes that have sauce.

Have you tried Advil PM? That often works for me -- if I have a couple bad nights in a row, I take a couple Advil PM about half an hour before I go to bed.

No, I never have, although I remember that my mother swore by that medication--or maybe it was Excedrin PM.

Report: Weighed (no change, grr), ate reasonably, started feeling sick last night with lots of stomach gurgles, cramps, etc. Got up this morning to go to class anyway figuring I'd at least give it a chance, got dressed, but it had turned into, er, other gastrointestinal issues. I considered going anyway because I didn't really FEEL bad -- not weak or nauseated, I mean -- but finally decided that was nuts. But yay me for feeling disappointed about not being able to exercise! Maybe I'll get on the treadmill later. While I think about what kind of veg-heavy dinner I'd like to make. :)

Well, maybe the upside of the gastrointestinal issues is that your weight will drop!! No fun, though. And YAY YOU for feeling disappointed about missing the exercise! That's big!

my report: my weight was down .6 (NOT deserved after dinner at Red Lobster!), had an extremely busy day of running from one commitment to another and had to eat dinner in the car but still stayed OP, did not read my cards, did not exercise.

OK, I'm off to bed and hopefully will be able to sleep. Hope you are feeling better by now!

4EverLearning
01-26-2012, 11:23 PM
Hope you're OK--or that you lost a post!

I had a good day today. Weight was down .6. Stayed OP all day and then went to happy hour and had a LI iced tea, but my calorie count shouldn't be too outrageous considering what I ate for the rest of the day. Talked to my eharmony match and finalized our plans for Saturday. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get much exercise today but have a personal training session in the morning--which means I need to go to bed! Last night was another night of tossing and turning---grrrrr.

va1erie
01-27-2012, 05:15 AM
Hope you're OK--or that you lost a post! Damn! Lost a post! I had another dental appointment yesterday (got the permanent crown, but because I've been having so much pain with the temporary they put the permanent on with temporary glue so that we could see if the pain subsided before attaching it permanently -- if it doesn't, it means I need a root canal, ecccchhhh, and that would mean destroying the new crown to get it off) but I did a quick post before I left. I thought I'd hit send, but I guess I either forgot to or it disappeared. Sorry!

I had a good day today. Weight was down .6. Stayed OP all day and then went to happy hour and had a LI iced tea, but my calorie count shouldn't be too outrageous considering what I ate for the rest of the day. Talked to my eharmony match and finalized our plans for Saturday. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get much exercise today but have a personal training session in the morning--which means I need to go to bed! Last night was another night of tossing and turning---grrrrr. So you talked again on the phone? That makes twice, then?

Glad you had a good day, and yay you for going to happy hour again! I weighed yesterday and today (no change), didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm up and dressed for my class this morning, ate fairly reasonably yesterday though we ordered Chinese for dinner as I really didn't feel like cooking after the dentist.

From yesterday:
I'm not sure how financial aid for trade schools works. But I've occasionally had students who can not even read at ALL--no, I'm not kidding. And I've had plenty of students who are functionally illiterate, Wow, that is so sad. How could you even pass the Ohio Graduation Tests without having the literacy skills to pass Intro Psych? I thought that was the point of the OGTs?


We spoke on the phone tonight, and the conversation was very easy and natural. He told me several times that I am "a delight." We're going to meet on Saturday in a city that is about halfway between us, for lunch at a really wonderful restaurant I went to once many years ago (and he has been there before, too). I'm still much more excited about it than I am nervous. Who am I, and what have I done with Robin???? :dizzy: Yay! Still more excited than nervous after talking to him a second time?

I read about Vitamin D deficiency online and saw that it definitely does contribute to insomnia. It also exacerbates depression and anxiety (which I already knew). So I am hoping I will feel better on many fronts once I take care of that. I have no idea how long the meds will take to work, although I will only be taking one pill a week for 6 weeks, so it must be pretty potent stuff. As for my bear-pals, they would definitely talk behind my back about it. They would say that I'm vitamin deficient because I'm not eating enough, no matter what I might say to the contrary. Yeah, that's a drag. It's so silly because anyone can have a vitamin deficiency. Jane had an iron deficiency she discovered a few months ago during the school blood drive, and John had one a few years ago that was discovered when he came down with pneumonia out of the blue. I really need to take my vitamins more consistently. :)


No, I never have, although I remember that my mother swore by that medication--or maybe it was Excedrin PM. Tylenol PM works, too, though I don't keep Tylenol around because of how easy it is to overdose. Benadryl works, too.

Hope you had a great day! Maybe think about taking a couple Advil PM (or whatever) prophylactically tonight since tomorrow's the big day?

4EverLearning
01-27-2012, 09:18 PM
Damn! Lost a post!

I HATE when that happens!

I had another dental appointment yesterday (got the permanent crown, but because I've been having so much pain with the temporary they put the permanent on with temporary glue so that we could see if the pain subsided before attaching it permanently -- if it doesn't, it means I need a root canal, ecccchhhh, and that would mean destroying the new crown to get it off) but I did a quick post before I left. I thought I'd hit send, but I guess I either forgot to or it disappeared. Sorry!

Sorry to hear you are still having tooth issues. I hope you don't need a root canal! I have had root canals after a crown without destroying the crown; they drill through the top of the crown, then fill the hole. But obviously it would be better, and the crown is stronger, if you can avoid doing that.

So you talked again on the phone? That makes twice, then?

Yes, and then we talked again for a short time today.

Glad you had a good day, and yay you for going to happy hour again!

I think I had even more fun than last week! There were more people there, including some of the older folks!

I weighed yesterday and today (no change), didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm up and dressed for my class this morning, ate fairly reasonably yesterday though we ordered Chinese for dinner as I really didn't feel like cooking after the dentist.

Chinese food virtually always causes water retention, doesn't it? So you will probably lose today. Hope your class went well.

From yesterday: Wow, that is so sad. How could you even pass the Ohio Graduation Tests without having the literacy skills to pass Intro Psych? I thought that was the point of the OGTs?

I don't know for sure, but my guess would be that special-needs students who have been on an IEP (individualized education plan) for their entire education are probably exempt from the OGT. But they can attend my campus anyway. I would have either quit my job or lost my mind a long time ago if I had to deal with those students in every class. But it's really only the intro course that's an issue, because that course is the gateway to the rest of the psych courses. So the students who are not "college material" never get out of the intro course--thank goodness! Essentially, we do the filtering later on rather than at the time of admission; anyone can be admitted, but only those who can legitimately do college work make it past their first few courses. Everyone is tested upon admission, and those who need remediation are put in developmental reading and math courses to try to get them ready to do college work. But in order to be eligible for financial aid, they have to be enrolled as full-time students, and the developmental courses don't give them enough hours. So the advisors typically put them in intro psych to get them up to full-time. Lucky me.


Yay! Still more excited than nervous after talking to him a second time?

I am, amazingly enough! That is very intriguing to me, since I know that the avoidance gradient (the rate at which avoidance motivation increases as a dreaded event approaches) is considerably steeper than the approach gradient (the rate at which approach motivation increases as an exciting event approaches). This means that, if you anticipate an event that elicits both dread AND excitement, the excitement is greater than the dread when the event is far off. True ambivalence (when the approach motivation equals the avoidance motivation) occurs at the intersection point of the two gradients. If you get past the ambivalence and its associated indecision, and continue to move forward, the dread will then exceed the excitement and will completely overtake the excitement by the time the event is imminent. So I am very surprised that my approach motivation is still ahead of my avoidance motivation. I haven't even hit the ambivalent point yet! (Sorry if the last paragraph made you feel as if I am lecturing you!! In class, that lesson would have been complete with graphs, examples, and variations!)

Yeah, that's a drag. It's so silly because anyone can have a vitamin deficiency. Jane had an iron deficiency she discovered a few months ago during the school blood drive, and John had one a few years ago that was discovered when he came down with pneumonia out of the blue. I really need to take my vitamins more consistently. :)

I'm sure that vitamin deficiencies are very common, even in people who take good care of themselves. I have never taken vitamins of any kind in my life, but probably should.


Hope you had a great day! Maybe think about taking a couple Advil PM (or whatever) prophylactically tonight since tomorrow's the big day?

I don't have any on hand and don't want to go out in the cold at this point, but I think I will sleep. I am very, very tired.

my report: My weight was down another .6. (I'm back in the 127's! YAY! But it's probably just dehydration from the drink I had last night.) Stayed OP. Had a terrific personal training session (which certainly contributed to my current tiredness). Ate slowly and mindfully, contacted my diet buddy.

Tomorrow I'm going to Marietta, OH for lunch. I figure I should tell a couple of people where I am going, just in case I don't come back!! Not that I think there's any reason for concern, of course. Wish me luck!

4EverLearning
01-28-2012, 08:05 PM
Uh, oh, did another post go POOF? Hope you are OK!

Well, my big day is over, and I survived. I had a really good time and hope we get together again, but I also won't be brokenhearted if we don't. I'm thinking that's a pretty good outcome! We had a nice lunch and then walked around the town and went in a bunch of stores (his idea, not mine, which surprised me!). The only really awkward moment was in the restaurant when a couple who was on their way out the door walked past us, and we realized we knew each other. He was the minister at my church years ago. I didn't introduce them to my date, because for the life of me I could not think of the wife's name. But the worst thing was that they made a comment about not recognizing me at first because I look so different. They must have seen the panic on my face, because they backed off that topic immediately. But of course I later had to explain why I look so different, which I would have preferred not to deal with at this point.

I am so unbelievably tired. I feel like a deflated balloon. I am actually going to bed shortly and think I will have one of my 12-hour marathon sleeps. And it is going to feel very good!

my report: weight was up .8 this morning (no longer dehydrated, I am sure), ate reasonably all day, got a lot of walking in, contacted my diet buddy.

Hope all is well with you!

va1erie
01-28-2012, 08:16 PM
Uh, oh, did another post go POOF? Hope you are OK!

No, just getting here late today! Took Jane to Kenyon for an interview, left early, long day.



Well, my big day is over, and I survived. I had a really good time and hope we get together again, but I also won't be brokenhearted if we don't. I'm thinking that's a pretty good outcome! Yeah, it is, but it does sound like you didn't like him as much as you thought you might?

We had a nice lunch and then walked around the town and went in a bunch of stores (his idea, not mine, which surprised me!). The only really awkward moment was in the restaurant when a couple who was on their way out the door walked past us, and we realized we knew each other. He was the minister at my church years ago. I didn't introduce them to my date, because for the life of me I could not think of the wife's name. But the worst thing was that they made a comment about not recognizing me at first because I look so different. They must have seen the panic on my face, because they backed off that topic immediately. But of course I later had to explain why I look so different, which I would have preferred not to deal with at this point. Uh-HUH! Only acceptable comment is "You look great." :D

I am so unbelievably tired. I feel like a deflated balloon. I am actually going to bed shortly and think I will have one of my 12-hour marathon sleeps. I'm sure it's the end-of-the-big-day thing.

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably, though probably too much salt. Got reasonable exercise. I'm exhausted and want a bath, so I'll be in tomorrow!

Sunday: Weighed (down 1, yay), pulled a muscle in my back so not in great shape, will check in tomorrow and respond to your yesterday post!

4EverLearning
01-29-2012, 10:44 PM
No, just getting here late today! Took Jane to Kenyon for an interview, left early, long day.

How did Jane like Kenyon? I've heard lots of good things about it over the years, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone there.



Uh-HUH! Only acceptable comment is "You look great." :D

I think they would have said that if I had not jumped in so quickly to stop them!


Sunday: Weighed (down 1, yay), pulled a muscle in my back so not in great shape, will check in tomorrow and respond to your yesterday post!

OUCH! How did you pull a muscle? I hope you got some rest today and are feeling at least a bit better by now.

my report: weight was up .4, got no exercise, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, saved a few bites for my kitty, contacted my diet buddy.

va1erie
01-30-2012, 09:05 AM
How did Jane like Kenyon? I've heard lots of good things about it over the years, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone there.
This was her second visit -- we went for a tour and info session last year, but they don't offer interviews to Juniors, so that's what we were going back for. Her biggest concern is that the town of Gambier is SO small. The nearest "big" town is Mt Vernon, about five miles away. A lot of these small LACs are in tiny little towns, but this one is small even relative to that. And the school itself is smaller than she really thinks would be ideal -- 1600, when she thinks 2000+ is a better size. And of course it's got Ohio weather. Other than that, it would be the ideal place for her. It's a writer's school, it's the closest highly-selective LAC to home, Greek life is marginal, athletics aren't a big part of social life, the little town and the campus are very pretty, and most important she knows she'd fit in. She'd almost culled it from her final list but then found out a close friend had gone ED and been accepted, and that made her rethink. If she ended up there, I think she'd be very happy, but if she gets into Pomona, Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Emory, Wash U, I think the chances are good she'd choose one of them over Kenyon.

OUCH! How did you pull a muscle? I hope you got some rest today and are feeling at least a bit better by now. No idea! I got up in the morning and realized I'd pulled a muscle. I used to pull them frequently in my back but haven't had a pull since I started doing core work. This one isn't as bad as the ones I had in the five or ten years before starting doing so much core work, but it was enough to keep me from going to class this morning.

my report: weight was up .4, got no exercise, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, saved a few bites for my kitty, contacted my diet buddy. Yay, you!

Report: weighed -- up 1.8 to .4 below goal, ack! -- and totally deserved that. When I have a muscle pull, I tend to just hunker down and not move, and I also tend to eat badly, and I did. I didn't realize it was that badly, though. But it could just be water retention -- way too much salt yesterday. But I'm still freaking out, and I'm definitely going to eat very low today and watch the salt.

From your Saturday post:

I think I had even more fun than last week! There were more people there, including some of the older folks! Maybe all it took was one of the "older folks <g>" to go, and then others felt they were welcome too?

I don't know for sure, but my guess would be that special-needs students who have been on an IEP (individualized education plan) for their entire education are probably exempt from the OGT. But they can attend my campus anyway. I would have either quit my job or lost my mind a long time ago if I had to deal with those students in every class. But it's really only the intro course that's an issue, because that course is the gateway to the rest of the psych courses. So the students who are not "college material" never get out of the intro course--thank goodness! Essentially, we do the filtering later on rather than at the time of admission; anyone can be admitted, but only those who can legitimately do college work make it past their first few courses. Everyone is tested upon admission, and those who need remediation are put in developmental reading and math courses to try to get them ready to do college work. But in order to be eligible for financial aid, they have to be enrolled as full-time students, and the developmental courses don't give them enough hours. So the advisors typically put them in intro psych to get them up to full-time. Lucky me. The IEP would have to =specify= that the OGT wasn't appropriate for them, but then I would assume that the IEP team would also be saying that college-prep wasn't appropriate, either. My son had an IEP, but was very motivated to move from "standards" classes (which prepare kids to take the OGT) into "academic" classes (college prep) and in fact slowly transitioned a class per year from all but one standards level classes his freshman year into all academic his senior year. (BTW, I'd be interested to hear your take on these multiple levels, which seems to be more and more considered a bad thing by many educators and researchers, who seem to be saying that fewer tracks are a net benefit for the overall group. Which I can see, but it makes me wonder. I suspect these tracks serve the high-motivation and high-aptitude groups pretty well because it puts them into a group in which the critical mass are also very motivated, and everyone steps up their game. But obviously it removes these kids' positive influence from the less-motivated/lower aptitude groups, and because the lower-performance groups are a larger absolute number, the aggregate benefit of eliminating tracks is greater. My kids' high school tried to eliminate the "honors" track a few years ago but caved to pressure from parents of students who weren't performing strongly enough for accelerated or AP classes but wanted more of a challenge than the academic classes provided. And four different levels of classes does seem a little much, but this is a large and pretty diverse district -- 450+ kids per grade, and there are a couple of large neighborhoods where nearly every kid is on free lunch, but the district is also a magnet for high-performance, high academic pressure families. For my kids, the multiple levels was beneficial. Michael started out in standards courses but was able to transition to academics and was well-enough prepared for college that he pulled a 3.4 his Freshman year at Muskingum, and Jane was able to take almost all accelerated or AP courses but drop into Honors for math. Both kids tended to remark that students in the lower-level courses "weren't serious enough," which makes me suspect that the reason untracking benefits the overall group is because each extra level removes the "cream" who otherwise would be in a particular class modelling higher expectations/motivation/performance, which maybe in the aggregate pulls scores upward. I'd be interested to know what the effect is for those top performers -- is there downward movement in -their- scores when they're no longer in a class that's all top performers? There has to be a reason why private/boarding schools, which are almost all high-motivation, high-aptitude students, are so highly regarded by highly-selective colleges. Those schools are nothing BUT a track. So that top track must be encouraging top performance from top students, who I assume aren't being hurt academically because they don't have a critical mass of lower-motivation, lower-aptitude students in their classes. So my suspicious mind -- which pretty much EXPECTS I'm being lied to with statistics -- thinks what the researchers are saying is that the community benefits because the average scores rise, and that lower achievement by the stars is a fair price to pay for that. I'm not sure I agree. I think there's an advantage that isn't being measured to having your highest-potential students being encouraged to maximum performance that can't be quantified by comparing the aggregate scores for the two approaches. Is it really more important that the overall averages are higher if what we're losing is the opportunity to push the top 5% to do their best? My elitism is showing again.)

I am, amazingly enough! That is very intriguing to me, since I know that the avoidance gradient (the rate at which avoidance motivation increases as a dreaded event approaches) is considerably steeper than the approach gradient (the rate at which approach motivation increases as an exciting event approaches). This means that, if you anticipate an event that elicits both dread AND excitement, the excitement is greater than the dread when the event is far off. True ambivalence (when the approach motivation equals the avoidance motivation) occurs at the intersection point of the two gradients. If you get past the ambivalence and its associated indecision, and continue to move forward, the dread will then exceed the excitement and will completely overtake the excitement by the time the event is imminent. Oh, I LOVE this! This so explains why when I get invited to a party, I always want to go, and then by the day of the party I'm reluctant. I'd never heard of this before!

So I am very surprised that my approach motivation is still ahead of my avoidance motivation. I haven't even hit the ambivalent point yet! (Sorry if the last paragraph made you feel as if I am lecturing you!! In class, that lesson would have been complete with graphs, examples, and variations!) I love graphs, examples, and variations. :) So were you still high approach-motivation when it was time to get dressed to go meet him?

I'm sure that vitamin deficiencies are very common, even in people who take good care of themselves. I have never taken vitamins of any kind in my life, but probably should. Oh, definitely. For one thing, thin women need to be concerned about calcium. I think Vitamin D and calcium are interrelated, too -- you need one to absorb the other, I think.

Tomorrow I'm going to Marietta, OH for lunch. I figure I should tell a couple of people where I am going, just in case I don't come back!! Not that I think there's any reason for concern, of course. Wish me luck! :) Glad I didn't need to call the Marietta cops to go out looking for your body.

4EverLearning
01-30-2012, 10:28 PM
Hi, Val! Today was a 16-hour day for me, and I didn't get home from an endless meeting at the main campus until after 9PM. I am so tired I can't function, and you wrote so many interesting things that I really need to respond carefully to! So I will get back to you tomorrow. Hope your back is feeling better today.

my report: weight was down .6, had to eat dinner in the car but stayed OP all day, did not exercise, did not read cards, contacted my diet buddy. Oh, and I have been giving myself lots of credit for not overeating in response to all of the intense emotions I have been feeling for the last few days. YAY ME!

va1erie
01-31-2012, 09:52 AM
Hi, Val! Today was a 16-hour day for me, and I didn't get home from an endless meeting at the main campus until after 9PM. I am so tired I can't function, and you wrote so many interesting things that I really need to respond carefully to! So I will get back to you tomorrow. Hope your back is feeling better today. No problem!

my report: weight was down .6, had to eat dinner in the car but stayed OP all day, did not exercise, did not read cards, contacted my diet buddy. Oh, and I have been giving myself lots of credit for not overeating in response to all of the intense emotions I have been feeling for the last few days. YAY ME! Yay, you!

Report: weighed (no change, grr, even though I ate low yesterday), got no exercise, but I have class tomorrow and hoping to make it as back is somewhat better. Gotta run, too, so I'll see you tomorrow!

4EverLearning
02-01-2012, 12:01 AM
This was her second visit -- we went for a tour and info session last year, but they don't offer interviews to Juniors, so that's what we were going back for. Her biggest concern is that the town of Gambier is SO small. The nearest "big" town is Mt Vernon, about five miles away. A lot of these small LACs are in tiny little towns, but this one is small even relative to that. And the school itself is smaller than she really thinks would be ideal -- 1600, when she thinks 2000+ is a better size. And of course it's got Ohio weather. Other than that, it would be the ideal place for her. It's a writer's school, it's the closest highly-selective LAC to home, Greek life is marginal, athletics aren't a big part of social life, the little town and the campus are very pretty, and most important she knows she'd fit in. She'd almost culled it from her final list but then found out a close friend had gone ED and been accepted, and that made her rethink. If she ended up there, I think she'd be very happy, but if she gets into Pomona, Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Emory, Wash U, I think the chances are good she'd choose one of them over Kenyon.

I've never been to Gambier, but I am familiar with Mount Vernon. I know someone who teaches at Mount Vernon Nazarene College, and I used to visit him there. You and Jane have been on a lot of campus visits at this point. Do you think she is afraid to commit to a decision? How is she doing emotionally these days?

No idea! I got up in the morning and realized I'd pulled a muscle. I used to pull them frequently in my back but haven't had a pull since I started doing core work. This one isn't as bad as the ones I had in the five or ten years before starting doing so much core work, but it was enough to keep me from going to class this morning.

I used to get a lot of spontaneous, unexplained muscle pulls, too, along with all sorts of assorted aches and pains I couldn't account for. Isn't it amazing how core strength has so many unanticipated benefits? Is your back feeling better now?


Report: weighed -- up 1.8 to .4 below goal, ack! -- and totally deserved that. When I have a muscle pull, I tend to just hunker down and not move, and I also tend to eat badly, and I did. I didn't realize it was that badly, though. But it could just be water retention -- way too much salt yesterday. But I'm still freaking out, and I'm definitely going to eat very low today and watch the salt.

What thoughts run through your mind when you see that your weight is so close to your hard stop? What exactly is it that freaks you out so much? What are you telling yourself would happen if you do happen to exceed that hard stop (which is pretty inevitable at some point)?


Maybe all it took was one of the "older folks <g>" to go, and then others felt they were welcome too?

Some additional people were invited, plus word of mouth brought in some more. I would imagine it will get bigger every week.

My son had an IEP, but was very motivated to move from "standards" classes (which prepare kids to take the OGT) into "academic" classes (college prep) and in fact slowly transitioned a class per year from all but one standards level classes his freshman year into all academic his senior year.

I would guess that your son is unusual in being able to make that transition so successfully. One of the criticisms about tracking, of course, is that it consigns certain students to a lower level of achievement and precludes certain opportunities later on, simply because the student wasn't at the appropriate level of readiness at the time that the tracks were initially assigned.

BTW, I'd be interested to hear your take on these multiple levels, which seems to be more and more considered a bad thing by many educators and researchers, who seem to be saying that fewer tracks are a net benefit for the overall group. Which I can see, but it makes me wonder. I suspect these tracks serve the high-motivation and high-aptitude groups pretty well because it puts them into a group in which the critical mass are also very motivated, and everyone steps up their game. But obviously it removes these kids' positive influence from the less-motivated/lower aptitude groups, and because the lower-performance groups are a larger absolute number, the aggregate benefit of eliminating tracks is greater.

Tracking is definitely beneficial for the high-aptitude kids, except for the few cases in which someone gets put in the "fast track" but is unprepared for it and falls behind. In theory (if not always in practice), tracking is also good for the lowest-aptitude students, because they get put in smaller classes, with more personal attention, with a curriculum that challenges them without overwhelming them, and they are not constantly being compared against higher-achieving students with whom they can not realistically compete. It's the group in the middle, statistically the largest group, whose needs are least likely to be met by tracking, largely because they lose the benefit of having the example of the higher-achieving students to aspire to. And, in their case, many of them COULD realistically benefit from being compared to those who outperform them. But ALL of the benefits of tracking are, of course, predicated on the assumption that aptitude can be accurately measured and therefore tracks can be appropriately assigned, which is often not the case. IQ tests and academic achievement tests of all kinds are far from perfectly reliable and make bad predictions about future achievement in around 40% of cases, on average. There will be both false positives (kids whose test scores suggest they can do work that they actually will not be able to do, resulting in being placed in a track that is too demanding for them) and false negatives (kids whose test scores underestimate their abilities, placing them in tracks that will prevent them from achieving up to their full potential). And IQ scores can vary substantially over time, which is obviously a problem, considering that tracking is based on a "snapshot" taken at one point in time, and once kids get assigned to a lower track, they get further and further behind, making it less and less likely that they will ever be able to move out of that track. But tracking, though far from perfect, is generally better than the old system of letting the gifted kids skip grades, while making the lower-aptitude students repeat grades. Both of those practices are extremely problematic, because cognitive development is not strongly correlated with emotional/social development and is not correlated at all with physical development. So, when you let kids skip grades, they are thrust into social groups they are not at all ready for. (The valedictorian of my college class was 12 years old. I always wondered what her social life was like!) And repeated failure isn't much better when it means that students will be grouped with others who are substantially younger and smaller.

My kids' high school tried to eliminate the "honors" track a few years ago but caved to pressure from parents of students who weren't performing strongly enough for accelerated or AP classes but wanted more of a challenge than the academic classes provided.

It doesn't surprise me at all that the pressure would come from the parents of the students who would have the most to lose if that second track was eliminated. But I think four tracks is pretty unusual. Three is most typical.

For my kids, the multiple levels was beneficial. Michael started out in standards courses but was able to transition to academics and was well-enough prepared for college that he pulled a 3.4 his Freshman year at Muskingum, and Jane was able to take almost all accelerated or AP courses but drop into Honors for math.

Your kids are anecdotal evidence to support the theory behind tracking. When it works the way it should, based on an accurate assessment of aptitude, and when the result is a curriculum that is challenging enough to spur students to aim high without overwhelming and frustrating them, everyone benefits.

Both kids tended to remark that students in the lower-level courses "weren't serious enough," which makes me suspect that the reason untracking benefits the overall group is because each extra level removes the "cream" who otherwise would be in a particular class modelling higher expectations/motivation/performance, which maybe in the aggregate pulls scores upward. I'd be interested to know what the effect is for those top performers -- is there downward movement in -their- scores when they're no longer in a class that's all top performers? There has to be a reason why private/boarding schools, which are almost all high-motivation, high-aptitude students, are so highly regarded by highly-selective colleges. Those schools are nothing BUT a track.

Eliminating the tracking, and thereby homogenizing the curriculum while simultaneously diversifying the make-up of the class, has the effect of producing regression to the mean. That is, the performance of the lowest performing students will move UP toward the mean, while the performance of the top-performing students will move DOWN toward the mean. This is obviously not in the best interests of the more capable students, but there is clearly a political undertone here. Tracking smacks of elitism and creates a tiered social system (in your case, a FOUR-class society!) that some people object to. So your elitist, suspicious mind is right on track!! :D I LOL about your comment about lying with statistics. It's just a matter of perspective. Depending on what position you are trying to advance, you either focus on measures of central tendency (measures of "typicality") like the mean, OR you focus on the shape of the distribution as a whole, particularly honing in on the number of individuals who fall in the tails (the extremes) of the curve rather than the center. Both perspectives are "right", and neither of them is lying, except perhaps by omission. :smug:

Oh, I LOVE this! This so explains why when I get invited to a party, I always want to go, and then by the day of the party I'm reluctant. I'd never heard of this before!

That is one of my favorite lectures, because everyone instantly identifies with it and can think of examples from their own life. I can't count the number of times I have been excited about something when it was still far off but come to anticipate it with sick dread when the event is on the horizon.

I love graphs, examples, and variations. :) So were you still high approach-motivation when it was time to get dressed to go meet him?

Yep, even then, my approach motivation outweighed my avoidance motivation. However, that has now changed. :( Right at the moment, I think I am at the true ambivalence point. I am frozen, stuck, confused, and stressed by the feeling of absolute indecision.:?:

Oh, definitely. For one thing, thin women need to be concerned about calcium. I think Vitamin D and calcium are interrelated, too -- you need one to absorb the other, I think.

Yep, the two are definitely related. So I need that vitamin D, being that I qualify as a "thin woman"!!! :D Seriously, I know that my frame is small and my bones are delicate, so this is a legitimate concern.

:) Glad I didn't need to call the Marietta cops to go out looking for your body.

But good to know you'd have had my back if it became necessary!!

4EverLearning
02-01-2012, 12:14 AM
post 2 of 2

Report: weighed (no change, grr, even though I ate low yesterday), got no exercise, but I have class tomorrow and hoping to make it as back is somewhat better. Gotta run, too, so I'll see you tomorrow!

Hopefully tomorrow you will reap the benefits of your restrained eating! Hope you back improved enough to let you do your exercise class.

my report: weight was down .4 this morning, but that will definitely change tomorrow. Had a bad eating day today, eating 7-8 NS desserts tonight as I struggled with my absolute ambivalence about the dating issue. I also have to make another big decision. I got asked today to take over a class at another campus, for a colleague who has a medical emergency. I think it would be for the rest of the semester. This would involve a lot of time and travel and stress, and I have to decide by tomorrow. If I need to get ready to take over someone else's course by next week, I may need to spend the weekend doing that instead of spending it with my eharmony match. Had a personal training session today (but I'm sure it was not nearly enough to burn up the extra calories I ate today). Blech.

Hope you had a better day than I did!!

va1erie
02-01-2012, 05:30 AM
I've never been to Gambier, but I am familiar with Mount Vernon. I know someone who teaches at Mount Vernon Nazarene College, and I used to visit him there. You and Jane have been on a lot of campus visits at this point. Do you think she is afraid to commit to a decision? How is she doing emotionally these days? We've probably visited upwards of two dozen campuses! No, it's not so much that she's afraid to commit -- it's that a lot of schools take it as a sign of high interest if you've visited, so it's almost part of the application process. And because of various timing issues, some of the schools she thought she'd be most interested in are ones that she couldn't visit until late in the process, like Davidson. We would have liked to combine the visits to Emory and Davidson, but Davidson's admissions office wasn't during Jane's winter break, and we couldn't do both of them during a normal weekend without her missing school, and she's missed so much school this year already, so we ended up visiting Davidson after she'd already finished her applications. And in a few cases, she ended up having to make a second visit, like to Kenyon to complete the interview. Now she's waiting to hear which schools she gets accepted at, and I think she's trying to not think too hard about which is her top choice at this point until she knows what her choices are.

I used to get a lot of spontaneous, unexplained muscle pulls, too, along with all sorts of assorted aches and pains I couldn't account for. Isn't it amazing how core strength has so many unanticipated benefits? Is your back feeling better now? I can still feel the pull a little, but it's just a twinge. I'm up and dressed for my class this morning. :)

What thoughts run through your mind when you see that your weight is so close to your hard stop? What exactly is it that freaks you out so much? What are you telling yourself would happen if you do happen to exceed that hard stop (which is pretty inevitable at some point)? Actually the thing I really would hate is having to set my sig file back to zero! LOL!

I would guess that your son is unusual in being able to make that transition so successfully. One of the criticisms about tracking, of course, is that it consigns certain students to a lower level of achievement and precludes certain opportunities later on, simply because the student wasn't at the appropriate level of readiness at the time that the tracks were initially assigned. Yes, he was unusual. His teachers used to comment on his work ethic pretty much consistently. One of his teachers told me she'd once caught him in his academic study hall -- a supported study hall -- looking at some other kids who were goofing off and clearly thinking "What do these fools think this is?" I don't know how easy it is for kids to move out of the standards track. I doubt it's any coincidence that Michael was one of the ones who did and he happens to be from an intact, high-expectations family with significant resources of pretty much every kind. Other than developmentally disabled students, most of the kids in standards classes at Sycamore are from low socioeconomic backgrounds.

Tracking is definitely beneficial for the high-aptitude kids, except for the few cases in which someone gets put in the "fast track" but is unprepared for it and falls behind. In theory (if not always in practice), tracking is also good for the lowest-aptitude students, because they get put in smaller classes, with more personal attention, with a curriculum that challenges them without overwhelming them, and they are not constantly being compared against higher-achieving students with whom they can not realistically compete. It's the group in the middle, statistically the largest group, whose needs are least likely to be met by tracking, largely because they lose the benefit of having the example of the higher-achieving students to aspire to. Probably the most common complaint I hear from other parents in our school district is that Sycamore serves the gifted and the kids on IEPs superbly but not enough attention is paid to the issues of the kids in the middle. I can't speak to it from personal experience, but from the outside looking in it seems like crap. :) We have like a 98% graduation rate and something like 95% go on to some sort of post-hs education. Sycamore prepares students so well that it's very common for kids to report their freshman year of college feels like "13th grade." Michael graduated with a 2.8 at Sycamore -- his grades have gone up more than half a point in college, and I've heard more similar stories than the opposite. What more can you really expect from a school than that? A special parent group for the parents of kids in the middle? Trips to Europe that are only for kids who don't take AP European History or five years of Spanish? But again, I didn't really have a kid in the middle.

Gotta go to class -- want to submit this so I don't lose it, but I'll be back later! (later) Okay, back. Man, class kicked my butt this morning. 30/30 circuits where we were supposed to push as hard as we could during the work period, then rest. 30 seconds sounded like a long time to rest, but I was literally out of breath the entire time.

And, in their case, many of them COULD realistically benefit from being compared to those who outperform them. But ALL of the benefits of tracking are, of course, predicated on the assumption that aptitude can be accurately measured and therefore tracks can be appropriately assigned, which is often not the case. IQ tests and academic achievement tests of all kinds are far from perfectly reliable and make bad predictions about future achievement in around 40% of cases, on average. Yeah, they start identifying "gifted" kids in 4th grade and pull them out to the "resource room" for a class or two a day. I dislike the name. It just screams the idea that these kids are getting access to resources the rest of the student population doesn't. Jane was one of the kids being pulled out, and the classroom wasn't any different from any other classroom. The class were just moving faster in writing and math. There will be both false positives (kids whose test scores suggest they can do work that they actually will not be able to do, resulting in being placed in a track that is too demanding for them) and false negatives (kids whose test scores underestimate their abilities, placing them in tracks that will prevent them from achieving up to their full potential). And IQ scores can vary substantially over time, which is obviously a problem, considering that tracking is based on a "snapshot" taken at one point in time, and once kids get assigned to a lower track, they get further and further behind, making it less and less likely that they will ever be able to move out of that track. Yeah, the system's a little screwy. In 4th grade, for the resource room, you have to have the test scores. By 7th grade, you can opt in -- kids who are performing can move into accelerated classes with a teacher recommendation at the Jr Hi, and any student can opt into any class in high school. But the problem is that if you don't get onto the accelerated math track in 4th grade when they've got the transition worked out, getting onto it later requires you to actually SKIP a year of math or wait to get on that track until High School, when you can take Geometry over the summer and then transition without skipping a year of math. (The valedictorian of my college class was 12 years old. I always wondered what her social life was like!) Good god. I wonder where she is now? Have you ever googled her? And repeated failure isn't much better when it means that students will be grouped with others who are substantially younger and smaller. That actually still happens with developmentally disabled students, sometimes with very unhappy results. With an IEP that supports it, parents can pretty much keep their kids at a school for EVER, which in one case meant a 15-yo boy with autism and Down Syndrome was riding the bus with kids as young as 5 and attending class with 10 year olds. They finally had to take him off the bus, as he was touching girls, but his parents believed it was helpful to him to be attending the same school he'd always attended so he stayed in the fourth grade the entire time my kids were at the elementary school.

It doesn't surprise me at all that the pressure would come from the parents of the students who would have the most to lose if that second track was eliminated. But I think four tracks is pretty unusual. Three is most typical. Yeah, four seems like a lot. But my kids have used all four levels, so for us at least, it worked out. Because Sycamore serves both ends of the spectrum so well, it draws both groups into the district. We did a TON of research (surprise!) when we were moving out of the city before Michael started school, and we think it's the best system in town for both kids. We literally never had to fight the district once to get Michael's needs met, and the system served Jane about as perfectly as a large district could. There were other districts that would have served Jane as well -- some possibly better, because they're MUCH smaller and she would have likely been a standout -- but none that would have been as good for both. Those smaller districts tend to send their special needs kids to the larger districts nearby, who can afford to serve them more easily because they can take advantage of economies of scale. We didn't want that for Michael.

Eliminating the tracking, and thereby homogenizing the curriculum while simultaneously diversifying the make-up of the class, has the effect of producing regression to the mean. That is, the performance of the lowest performing students will move UP toward the mean, while the performance of the top-performing students will move DOWN toward the mean. This is obviously not in the best interests of the more capable students, but there is clearly a political undertone here. Exactly -- and I do see the major benefit to keeping those top-performers in the mainstream.

Yep, even then, my approach motivation outweighed my avoidance motivation. However, that has now changed. :( Right at the moment, I think I am at the true ambivalence point. I am frozen, stuck, confused, and stressed by the feeling of absolute indecision.:?: What decision do you feel you need to make? Answer in email if you want.

Had a bad eating day today, eating 7-8 NS desserts tonight as I struggled with my absolute ambivalence about the dating issue. I also have to make another big decision. I got asked today to take over a class at another campus, for a colleague who has a medical emergency. I think it would be for the rest of the semester. This would involve a lot of time and travel and stress, and I have to decide by tomorrow. If I need to get ready to take over someone else's course by next week, I may need to spend the weekend doing that instead of spending it with my eharmony match. Had a personal training session today (but I'm sure it was not nearly enough to burn up the extra calories I ate today). Blech.

Good grief -- do you really have time to take another class on? Aren't you still taking on the classes of your colleague who's on sabbatical? Which campus would you have to be traveling to? Is there a benefit to you to taking this on? Is it three days a week you'd have to do this?

So, what were you thinking when you ate those desserts? Is there anywhere you can store your extra desserts -- maybe in your office at school? -- and just bring home enough to have just a couple days' worth on hand? I'm wondering if the desserts weren't as readily available in large amounts, you might find it helpful?

4EverLearning
02-01-2012, 11:46 PM
We've probably visited upwards of two dozen campuses! No, it's not so much that she's afraid to commit -- it's that a lot of schools take it as a sign of high interest if you've visited, so it's almost part of the application process. And because of various timing issues, some of the schools she thought she'd be most interested in are ones that she couldn't visit until late in the process, like Davidson. We would have liked to combine the visits to Emory and Davidson, but Davidson's admissions office wasn't during Jane's winter break, and we couldn't do both of them during a normal weekend without her missing school, and she's missed so much school this year already, so we ended up visiting Davidson after she'd already finished her applications. And in a few cases, she ended up having to make a second visit, like to Kenyon to complete the interview. Now she's waiting to hear which schools she gets accepted at, and I think she's trying to not think too hard about which is her top choice at this point until she knows what her choices are.

Jane is lucky to have you to take her on so many visits. Has she gotten over the mono yet? I'm glad she's not stressing unduly over the decision she has to make. I continue to be so impressed by how well she seems to know herself and what she wants and needs out of her education.

I can still feel the pull a little, but it's just a twinge. I'm up and dressed for my class this morning. :)

YAY!! Elyse, or Giselle?

Actually the thing I really would hate is having to set my sig file back to zero! LOL!

Yeah, that would definitely suck!!

Yes, he was unusual. His teachers used to comment on his work ethic pretty much consistently. One of his teachers told me she'd once caught him in his academic study hall -- a supported study hall -- looking at some other kids who were goofing off and clearly thinking "What do these fools think this is?" I don't know how easy it is for kids to move out of the standards track. I doubt it's any coincidence that Michael was one of the ones who did and he happens to be from an intact, high-expectations family with significant resources of pretty much every kind. Other than developmentally disabled students, most of the kids in standards classes at Sycamore are from low socioeconomic backgrounds.

Your kids just sound too good to be TRUE!! You definitely did something right!

Probably the most common complaint I hear from other parents in our school district is that Sycamore serves the gifted and the kids on IEPs superbly but not enough attention is paid to the issues of the kids in the middle. I can't speak to it from personal experience, but from the outside looking in it seems like crap. :) We have like a 98% graduation rate and something like 95% go on to some sort of post-hs education. Sycamore prepares students so well that it's very common for kids to report their freshman year of college feels like "13th grade." Michael graduated with a 2.8 at Sycamore -- his grades have gone up more than half a point in college, and I've heard more similar stories than the opposite. What more can you really expect from a school than that? A special parent group for the parents of kids in the middle? Trips to Europe that are only for kids who don't take AP European History or five years of Spanish? But again, I didn't really have a kid in the middle.

The graduation rate alone, not to mention the percentage who go on with their education, says that the middle kids are not being shortchanged in any meaningful way. That is a record that few high schools can claim. But people will always find something to whine about.

Gotta go to class -- want to submit this so I don't lose it, but I'll be back later! (later) Okay, back. Man, class kicked my butt this morning. 30/30 circuits where we were supposed to push as hard as we could during the work period, then rest. 30 seconds sounded like a long time to rest, but I was literally out of breath the entire time.

Believe me, I know what you mean. 30 seconds of rest is nothing. My heart rate stays elevated for my entire training sessions, and I'm often gasping for breath. But doesn't it feel really good in a strange sort of way?

Yeah, they start identifying "gifted" kids in 4th grade and pull them out to the "resource room" for a class or two a day. I dislike the name. It just screams the idea that these kids are getting access to resources the rest of the student population doesn't. Jane was one of the kids being pulled out, and the classroom wasn't any different from any other classroom. The class were just moving faster in writing and math. Yeah, the system's a little screwy. In 4th grade, for the resource room, you have to have the test scores. By 7th grade, you can opt in -- kids who are performing can move into accelerated classes with a teacher recommendation at the Jr Hi, and any student can opt into any class in high school. But the problem is that if you don't get onto the accelerated math track in 4th grade when they've got the transition worked out, getting onto it later requires you to actually SKIP a year of math or wait to get on that track until High School, when you can take Geometry over the summer and then transition without skipping a year of math.

Those are just the kind of systemic idiosyncrasies that get outsiders all riled up and screaming about elitism and discrimination. And in some ways they have a point. There just is no foolproof system, and there's really no way to give everyone "equal opportunity", no matter how politically correct that lofty goal might sound.

Good god. I wonder where she is now? Have you ever googled her?

Nope, but I should try it. I believe she was Korean and had been sent to the US by the Korean government. Her major was physics, I think. I remember when she was announced as valedictorian that none of us had a clue who she was. But of course she had started college two years after the rest of us!

That actually still happens with developmentally disabled students, sometimes with very unhappy results. With an IEP that supports it, parents can pretty much keep their kids at a school for EVER, which in one case meant a 15-yo boy with autism and Down Syndrome was riding the bus with kids as young as 5 and attending class with 10 year olds. They finally had to take him off the bus, as he was touching girls, but his parents believed it was helpful to him to be attending the same school he'd always attended so he stayed in the fourth grade the entire time my kids were at the elementary school.

Those parents would have to be just plain delusional. There's no way that kid's needs could truly have been served.

Yeah, four seems like a lot. But my kids have used all four levels, so for us at least, it worked out. Because Sycamore serves both ends of the spectrum so well, it draws both groups into the district. We did a TON of research (surprise!) when we were moving out of the city before Michael started school, and we think it's the best system in town for both kids. We literally never had to fight the district once to get Michael's needs met, and the system served Jane about as perfectly as a large district could. There were other districts that would have served Jane as well -- some possibly better, because they're MUCH smaller and she would have likely been a standout -- but none that would have been as good for both. Those smaller districts tend to send their special needs kids to the larger districts nearby, who can afford to serve them more easily because they can take advantage of economies of scale. We didn't want that for Michael.

No, it doesn't surprise me one iota that you would have so carefully researched the school districts. And obviously both of your kids reaped the benefits of your well-considered choice.



What decision do you feel you need to make? Answer in email if you want.

I'll email you tomorrow. I owe you one anyway. It's too late, and I'm too tired, to do it right now.



Good grief -- do you really have time to take another class on? Aren't you still taking on the classes of your colleague who's on sabbatical? Which campus would you have to be traveling to? Is there a benefit to you to taking this on? Is it three days a week you'd have to do this?

It would be doable, if not easily. My colleague is back, so that's not an issue. (Sabbaticals are just for one semester.) I'd be going to the Canton campus, about a 40 minute drive, and it would be two afternoons a week. The details haven't been finalized yet, but it's looking like I will be doing it. I would at least get paid well for it, which could even affect my retirement benefits (depending on how soon I retire), and it might not be for the whole semester. The person's medical prognosis is uncertain, and it is unknown how quickly she will be able to come back.

So, what were you thinking when you ate those desserts? Is there anywhere you can store your extra desserts -- maybe in your office at school? -- and just bring home enough to have just a couple days' worth on hand? I'm wondering if the desserts weren't as readily available in large amounts, you might find it helpful?

Part of the problem is that I didn't have any of those desserts on hand at all for a couple of weeks. (I ran out and didn't reorder, because of the issues I was having with them.) I just got a new order yesterday. But tonight I only ate one. I was going to put them in a closet I don't use regularly, but I like your idea better. I only have problems at night, so if the desserts are at school, the problem would be solved. As for what I was thinking, at first it was something along the lines of how I NEEDED the comfort. Then once I got going, I switched into thinking that I might as well just keep going and then start over the next day. In other words, old, bad, habits of thought.

my report: My weight was up 1.2 pounds this morning (no surprise at all). Did not exercise. Read my cards. Stayed perfectly OP all day. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. I am very hungry right now but am going to go to bed without getting into those desserts!

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
02-02-2012, 06:06 AM
Jane is lucky to have you to take her on so many visits. Has she gotten over the mono yet? I'm glad she's not stressing unduly over the decision she has to make. I continue to be so impressed by how well she seems to know herself and what she wants and needs out of her education. She seems to be mostly over the mono, though occasionally she is still fatigued when she shouldn't be -- a few hours after a full night's sleep, for instance -- but she's not complaining as much about difficulty concentrating. She performed a miracle the final two weeks of the semester and finals week and ended up with a 3.5 before weighting, which we hope shouldn't damage her with any of her schools given the mono, which her counselor discussed in her recommendation letter. We'd been pretty worried that her grades would drop so much that it would cause issues, but this is not far from her current cumulative, which is like a 3.8 unweighted.

Your kids just sound too good to be TRUE!! You definitely did something right! Honestly, I think we're just lucky. We just got easy kids. Literally every bit of fretting we've had over our kids has been for something the kids themselves couldn't really control.

That is a record that few high schools can claim. But people will always find something to whine about. That's kind of how I feel, too, but since I haven't really had an average-kid parenting experience, I keep my mouth shut. :)

Believe me, I know what you mean. 30 seconds of rest is nothing. My heart rate stays elevated for my entire training sessions, and I'm often gasping for breath. But doesn't it feel really good in a strange sort of way? It does. Though when I'm starting the second of four five-station cycles and it's burpees AGAIN and I'm going to have them two more times after this... :stars:


Nope, but I should try it. I believe she was Korean and had been sent to the US by the Korean government. Her major was physics, I think. I remember when she was announced as valedictorian that none of us had a clue who she was. But of course she had started college two years after the rest of us! Wow. Poor kid. I can't imagine how isolated she must have been.

Those parents would have to be just plain delusional. There's no way that kid's needs could truly have been served. Yeah, it was hard to know how Jacob's needs could ever really be served. Autism on top of Down Syndrome was just heartbreaking. He was in Jane's fourth grade class, and if any of the kids could get Jacob to say a word to them that was audible to his aide, the class won a pizza party (Jacob's favorite food) that week.

No, it doesn't surprise me one iota that you would have so carefully researched the school districts. And obviously both of your kids reaped the benefits of your well-considered choice. :::sigh::: You just never know...there's always the temptation to think, "what if instead we'd..." As it turned out, Michael didn't have needs as significant as we'd allowed for, and in retrospect, knowing her as I do now, Jane might have had an easier time at a smaller school. But you can't know.

It would be doable, if not easily. My colleague is back, so that's not an issue. (Sabbaticals are just for one semester.) Oh, I'm so glad! What a difference that must feel like right there! I'd be going to the Canton campus, about a 40 minute drive, and it would be two afternoons a week. The details haven't been finalized yet, but it's looking like I will be doing it. I would at least get paid well for it, which could even affect my retirement benefits (depending on how soon I retire), and it might not be for the whole semester. The person's medical prognosis is uncertain, and it is unknown how quickly she will be able to come back. So that makes two days a week into long days for you? That kind of sucks, since you had such a crappy schedule last semester, but it sounds like you think you'll be able to work it out. Is it a class you've taught before? Something you will enjoy teaching, I hope?

I'll email you tomorrow. I owe you one anyway. It's too late, and I'm too tired, to do it right now.
All-righty, then. :)

Part of the problem is that I didn't have any of those desserts on hand at all for a couple of weeks. (I ran out and didn't reorder, because of the issues I was having with them.) I just got a new order yesterday. But tonight I only ate one. I was going to put them in a closet I don't use regularly, but I like your idea better. I only have problems at night, so if the desserts are at school, the problem would be solved. As for what I was thinking, at first it was something along the lines of how I NEEDED the comfort. Then once I got going, I switched into thinking that I might as well just keep going and then start over the next day. In other words, old, bad, habits of thought. Yeah, that 'I've blown today, might as well blow it big and get back on track tomorrow' is a tempting one.

my report: My weight was up 1.2 pounds this morning (no surprise at all). Did not exercise. Read my cards. Stayed perfectly OP all day. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. I am very hungry right now but am going to go to bed without getting into those desserts! Yay, you!

Report: weighed (down 1.6 to 2 under goal, and I absolutely do not deserve it even a little.) I will never understand why I can eat nice and low for three days and see zero movement on the scale and then go out to trivia and not do TOO badly but still -- wine, and a half a "lite" sub which really probably isn't all that lite, skipped the chips -- and drop a pound an a half. HUH? I'd been dreading getting on the scale this morning. Oh, well, I'll take it. Today's actually also a good day for me to have a low day again, so I'm going to aim low again today. In addition to my class I got a small amount of spontaneous exercise -- couldn't walk to class because it was actively raining, but I did walk to an appointment later -- and other than the wine/sub at trivia, I ate very reasonably. Ate slowly and sitting down, though I probably was pretty distracted during the sub -- not distracted enough to pick it up and munch the entire thing, though. I cut off a slice and ate that, cut off another slice and ate that, and when I got to half, I asked for a box, yay me.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
02-03-2012, 01:16 AM
She seems to be mostly over the mono, though occasionally she is still fatigued when she shouldn't be -- a few hours after a full night's sleep, for instance -- but she's not complaining as much about difficulty concentrating. She performed a miracle the final two weeks of the semester and finals week and ended up with a 3.5 before weighting, which we hope shouldn't damage her with any of her schools given the mono, which her counselor discussed in her recommendation letter. We'd been pretty worried that her grades would drop so much that it would cause issues, but this is not far from her current cumulative, which is like a 3.8 unweighted.

That's great that she is feeling better, and even greater that the mono had such a minimal effect on her GPA! It's sad that college admissions have become so competitive that you have to worry that getting sick could impact her chances.

Honestly, I think we're just lucky. We just got easy kids. Literally every bit of fretting we've had over our kids has been for something the kids themselves couldn't really control.

There definitely is such a thing as inborn temperament, and some kids are just inherently "easy". But I'm sure your kids have also been the beneficiaries of superb parenting!

That's kind of how I feel, too, but since I haven't really had an average-kid parenting experience, I keep my mouth shut. :)

Probably a smart choice on your part!

It does. Though when I'm starting the second of four five-station cycles and it's burpees AGAIN and I'm going to have them two more times after this... :stars:

Yes, but then you feel so good when you finally STOP!!


Wow. Poor kid. I can't imagine how isolated she must have been.

I just tried Googling her, and I came across many journal articles that are written in a strange symbolic language that I assume is Korean. So it would appear that she has been successful at least intellectually--no surprise there!

Yeah, it was hard to know how Jacob's needs could ever really be served. Autism on top of Down Syndrome was just heartbreaking. He was in Jane's fourth grade class, and if any of the kids could get Jacob to say a word to them that was audible to his aide, the class won a pizza party (Jacob's favorite food) that week.

Autism AND Down Syndrome would be an almost unsurmountable burden. My heart rate actually increased when I read about the pizza--I imagined how horrified and singled out I would have felt if my classmates had been given an incentive to get me to speak! ACK. But of course I was smart enough to recognize how humiliating that would have been.

:::sigh::: You just never know...there's always the temptation to think, "what if instead we'd..." As it turned out, Michael didn't have needs as significant as we'd allowed for, and in retrospect, knowing her as I do now, Jane might have had an easier time at a smaller school. But you can't know.

Nope, you can't know, even with all the tests in the world. That's why tracking is such an iffy enterprise. But you are lucky that you had the resources to consider so many different options for your kids.

Oh, I'm so glad! What a difference that must feel like right there! So that makes two days a week into long days for you? That kind of sucks, since you had such a crappy schedule last semester, but it sounds like you think you'll be able to work it out. Is it a class you've taught before? Something you will enjoy teaching, I hope?

I already have two 15-16 hour days a week (because of having to travel to the Kent Campus for long meetings), and taking on that class would mean four long days. I decided not to do the class, though. They wanted me to take it over with no idea when it would end, since the professor I'd be replacing has an uncertain prognosis and could be back at any time--or not until the end of the semester. Because of that, they wanted me to use HER syllabus and lesson plans rather than my own. But when I checked out what she was doing, I knew there was no way I could adapt to her style. I had heard that her courses are perceived as very easy by the students and had even heard that several students had intentionally gone to the Canton campus to take the course in order to avoid taking it from me! And looking at her materials certainly confirmed that. Her lessons were absurdly basic, and her policies were so lenient (for instance, dropping the lowest test score--ridiculous in an upper division, majors course) that I just couldn't abide by them. Out of the 8 times the class was supposed to have met so far, they have met only 4 times. One of those times, they watched a video, and another time they did some kind of demonstration, so they've learned little if anything so far. One of my students is in that class, and I asked her if I could look at her lecture notes. She had a page and a half, when I would have produced 40-45 pages of notes by this point. All in all, it would have been an extremely stressful experience for me, so I decided to pass on it even though I know that leaves the campus, and especially the students, in the lurch.



Yeah, that 'I've blown today, might as well blow it big and get back on track tomorrow' is a tempting one.

And I did the same thing again tonight, after having a drink at happy hour and then talking to my "match" on the phone. (We had a good conversation, and he is coming up here on Saturday to see me.) It freaks me out to be "eating" my emotions that way, and it just has to stop. Tomorrow I am going to try eating all protein and see if it helps.

Yay, you!

I'm definitely not feeling very YAY ME at the moment. :(

Report: weighed (down 1.6 to 2 under goal, and I absolutely do not deserve it even a little.) I will never understand why I can eat nice and low for three days and see zero movement on the scale and then go out to trivia and not do TOO badly but still -- wine, and a half a "lite" sub which really probably isn't all that lite, skipped the chips -- and drop a pound an a half. HUH? I'd been dreading getting on the scale this morning. Oh, well, I'll take it. Today's actually also a good day for me to have a low day again, so I'm going to aim low again today. In addition to my class I got a small amount of spontaneous exercise -- couldn't walk to class because it was actively raining, but I did walk to an appointment later -- and other than the wine/sub at trivia, I ate very reasonably. Ate slowly and sitting down, though I probably was pretty distracted during the sub -- not distracted enough to pick it up and munch the entire thing, though. I cut off a slice and ate that, cut off another slice and ate that, and when I got to half, I asked for a box, yay me.

Well, like Beck says, your weight is always exactly what it is supposed to be, and when it seems otherwise, it's because you haven't identified all of the relevant variables. But I know exactly what you mean. I am very impressed by your description of how you ate the sub--very, very impressed!

report: weight was down .4 (but I'm sure it will shoot up tomorrow). Ate OP until evening and then fell apart. No exercise (have a training session in the morning).

Hope you had a great day and were rewarded for it on the scale

va1erie
02-03-2012, 07:50 AM
There definitely is such a thing as inborn temperament, and some kids are just inherently "easy". But I'm sure your kids have also been the beneficiaries of superb parenting! Is there any such thing? :D I really can only see all the mistakes I've made. Actually, I can't see them all, even -- Jane recently told me something I'd said to her when she was nine that I didn't even remember SAYING and that she had at the time taken deeply to heart.

Autism AND Down Syndrome would be an almost unsurmountable burden. My heart rate actually increased when I read about the pizza--I imagined how horrified and singled out I would have felt if my classmates had been given an incentive to get me to speak! ACK. But of course I was smart enough to recognize how humiliating that would have been. I hadn't thought how that would strike you -- sorry! I'm pretty sure this would have been his parents' idea and on their dime -- they would have put that into his IEP. I do seriously doubt Jacob had any feelings of humiliation about it whatsoever. His cognitive level seemed to be extremely low. The rest of the kids would be working and he'd be sitting at a table with his aide working on a puzzle designed for toddlers. I literally never saw him without his aide, who went into the restroom with him.

I already have two 15-16 hour days a week (because of having to travel to the Kent Campus for long meetings), and taking on that class would mean four long days. I decided not to do the class, though. They wanted me to take it over with no idea when it would end, since the professor I'd be replacing has an uncertain prognosis and could be back at any time--or not until the end of the semester. Because of that, they wanted me to use HER syllabus and lesson plans rather than my own. But when I checked out what she was doing, I knew there was no way I could adapt to her style. I had heard that her courses are perceived as very easy by the students and had even heard that several students had intentionally gone to the Canton campus to take the course in order to avoid taking it from me! And looking at her materials certainly confirmed that. Her lessons were absurdly basic, and her policies were so lenient (for instance, dropping the lowest test score--ridiculous in an upper division, majors course) that I just couldn't abide by them. Out of the 8 times the class was supposed to have met so far, they have met only 4 times. One of those times, they watched a video, and another time they did some kind of demonstration, so they've learned little if anything so far. One of my students is in that class, and I asked her if I could look at her lecture notes. She had a page and a half, when I would have produced 40-45 pages of notes by this point. All in all, it would have been an extremely stressful experience for me, so I decided to pass on it even though I know that leaves the campus, and especially the students, in the lurch. Good grief. Well, I wouldn't worry too much about leaving people in the lurch -- it sounds like literally anyone could teach to that syllabus! :D

And I did the same thing again tonight, after having a drink at happy hour and then talking to my "match" on the phone. (We had a good conversation, and he is coming up here on Saturday to see me.) It freaks me out to be "eating" my emotions that way, and it just has to stop. Tomorrow I am going to try eating all protein and see if it helps. You mean like an Atkins thing? Aren't the NS desserts supposed to be low-glycemic -- are you thinking they're triggering cravings?



I'm definitely not feeling very YAY ME at the moment. :( A couple of unplanned eating sessions going overboard on NS desserts is no reason to clobber yourself. You're doing LOTS of things very, very well. You're exercising, you're facing your anxieties, you're making good decisions when pressed to make a choice that wouldn't be good for you. A few extra desserts is not a catastrophe, even two days in a row.


Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), exercised this morning, am probably going to get more spontaneous exercise today because I won't have a car. Ate slowly, mindfully, pretty reasonably. Am aiming for a low day again today as we're invited to a Super Bowl party on Sunday.

4EverLearning
02-04-2012, 12:46 AM
Is there any such thing? :D I really can only see all the mistakes I've made. Actually, I can't see them all, even -- Jane recently told me something I'd said to her when she was nine that I didn't even remember SAYING and that she had at the time taken deeply to heart.

That just makes you NORMAL. And don't you think it is significant that Jane is able to TELL you about how she was affected by what you said?

I hadn't thought how that would strike you -- sorry! I'm pretty sure this would have been his parents' idea and on their dime -- they would have put that into his IEP. I do seriously doubt Jacob had any feelings of humiliation about it whatsoever. His cognitive level seemed to be extremely low. The rest of the kids would be working and he'd be sitting at a table with his aide working on a puzzle designed for toddlers. I literally never saw him without his aide, who went into the restroom with him.

Nothing to be sorry about!! I was just musing about how different things are these days and wondering how, or if, my life would have been different if there had been IEPs and behavioral interventions and so forth.

Good grief. Well, I wouldn't worry too much about leaving people in the lurch -- it sounds like literally anyone could teach to that syllabus! :D

LOL!! Yes, that's one way to look at it!

You mean like an Atkins thing? Aren't the NS desserts supposed to be low-glycemic -- are you thinking they're triggering cravings?

Yes, they are, but they definitely do induce cravings. EVERY single time I have overeaten to any substantial degree, it has been those darn desserts that I've gone overboard on. I did stick to all protein today, and it did help me feel more in control, which I definitely needed before my "big day" tomorrow.



A couple of unplanned eating sessions going overboard on NS desserts is no reason to clobber yourself. You're doing LOTS of things very, very well. You're exercising, you're facing your anxieties, you're making good decisions when pressed to make a choice that wouldn't be good for you. A few extra desserts is not a catastrophe, even two days in a row.

You're right, and I was thinking along similar lines today. There is NOTHING that could possibly trigger more intense overeating urges than the possibility of a romantic relationship. So the very fact that I am not eating around the clock is a huge indicator of how far I have come. And I was able to eat very sparingly today despite being hungry all day long and despite the anticipation of tomorrow's date. And I am far more excited about tomorrow than I am nervous. I just marvel sometimes at how much I have changed.


Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), exercised this morning, am probably going to get more spontaneous exercise today because I won't have a car. Ate slowly, mindfully, pretty reasonably. Am aiming for a low day again today as we're invited to a Super Bowl party on Sunday.

YAY on being 2 pounds under goal! Why won't you have a car? Are you a football fan, or are you just a fan of Super Bowl parties? :) (I don't understand football at all and have no interest in figuring it out, but going to a Super Bowl party might be fun!)

my report: Was up a pound (no surprise there). Had a personal training session, which included a great feeling of accomplishment--I was watching a woman use the machine where you balance on your forearms with your weight suspended and then lift your legs up at a 90 degree angle to your torso to work your abs, and I commented to my trainer that I was amazed that a woman could do that. He said he thought I could do it, and of course I said there was NO WAY that I could even support my weight on my arms that way, no less lift my legs up. So he had me try it, and I did 30 reps!!!! :D That felt AWESOME! Ate all protein today and stayed under 1100 calories. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
02-04-2012, 08:54 AM
Yes, they are, but they definitely do induce cravings. EVERY single time I have overeaten to any substantial degree, it has been those darn desserts that I've gone overboard on. I did stick to all protein today, and it did help me feel more in control, which I definitely needed before my "big day" tomorrow. Glad you felt more in control.

You're right, and I was thinking along similar lines today. There is NOTHING that could possibly trigger more intense overeating urges than the possibility of a romantic relationship. So the very fact that I am not eating around the clock is a huge indicator of how far I have come. And I was able to eat very sparingly today despite being hungry all day long and despite the anticipation of tomorrow's date. And I am far more excited about tomorrow than I am nervous. I just marvel sometimes at how much I have changed. :)

YAY on being 2 pounds under goal! Why won't you have a car? Jane had an accident -- took out a fire hydrant. :) So if I don't have anything that requires a car, I let John take mine so Jane can have his, as she has late arrival (Seniors can choose late arrival or early dismissal if they have room for it) and as she seldom is able to leave school when the busses are leaving, she also would need to be picked up. I had two meetings yesterday, but both were within walking distance so I let her take the car. Are you a football fan, or are you just a fan of Super Bowl parties? :) (I don't understand football at all and have no interest in figuring it out, but going to a Super Bowl party might be fun!) I have zero interest in football -- I just go for the party. :)

my report: Was up a pound (no surprise there). Had a personal training session, which included a great feeling of accomplishment--I was watching a woman use the machine where you balance on your forearms with your weight suspended and then lift your legs up at a 90 degree angle to your torso to work your abs, and I commented to my trainer that I was amazed that a woman could do that. He said he thought I could do it, and of course I said there was NO WAY that I could even support my weight on my arms that way, no less lift my legs up. So he had me try it, and I did 30 reps!!!! :D That felt AWESOME! Yay, you! I'm trying to picture this machine...is this it? link (http://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00MenQTZaJbfpB/Fitness-Equipment-Gym-Equipment-Fitness-Product-Vertical-Ab-Up-Dip-Sw03-7000-.jpg) Ate all protein today and stayed under 1100 calories. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Are you planning another all-protein day? I've found it takes three to destroy my cravings.

Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), did planned exercise yesterday but ended up getting a ride from Jane to my regular Friday happy hour -- she was home from school but wanted to go to the gym so she dropped me off -- so I didn't get the spontaneous I was expecting. Ate reasonably and sitting down, but realized I've gotten out of the habit of leaving a bite; must work on that.

Hope you have a great day and a great date!

4EverLearning
02-04-2012, 10:12 PM
Jane had an accident -- took out a fire hydrant. :) So if I don't have anything that requires a car, I let John take mine so Jane can have his, as she has late arrival (Seniors can choose late arrival or early dismissal if they have room for it) and as she seldom is able to leave school when the busses are leaving, she also would need to be picked up. I had two meetings yesterday, but both were within walking distance so I let her take the car.

I hope Jane wasn't hurt! I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids who are out driving. I'd be a nervous wreck, I suspect.

I have zero interest in football -- I just go for the party. :)

Thatta girl!! :D

Yay, you! I'm trying to picture this machine...is this it? link (http://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00MenQTZaJbfpB/Fitness-Equipment-Gym-Equipment-Fitness-Product-Vertical-Ab-Up-Dip-Sw03-7000-.jpg)

Yep, that's it!!

Are you planning another all-protein day? I've found it takes three to destroy my cravings.

Yes, I think I am going to do it for the next two or three days. I didn't today because of going out to lunch, and I am definitely struggling again tonight. My control feels very shaky.

Report: weighed (no change, 2 under goal), did planned exercise yesterday but ended up getting a ride from Jane to my regular Friday happy hour -- she was home from school but wanted to go to the gym so she dropped me off -- so I didn't get the spontaneous I was expecting. Ate reasonably and sitting down, but realized I've gotten out of the habit of leaving a bite; must work on that.

I sometimes forget to leave a bite, too. It is distressing how easy it is to get out of a good habit. But yay you for the exercise and the reasonable eating.

Hope you have a great day and a great date!

Once again, it was GREAT fun--really great, I enjoy his company immensely--and left me feeling like a deflated balloon. Still struggling with ambivalence despite having such a good time, or maybe BECAUSE I had such a good time! I am incredibly tired. There seems to be a pattern here!

My weight was down .4, ate reasonably (including about 3/4 of a steak wrap for lunch, with the cheese and dressing left out), ate sitting down, was pretty mindful considering the distraction of good conversation at lunch, got minimal exercise. OK, I'm gonna round up my kitty and drag my tired butt off to bed now. Hope you had a good day!

va1erie
02-05-2012, 09:44 AM
I hope Jane wasn't hurt! I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids who are out driving. I'd be a nervous wreck, I suspect. Fortunately she's been able to learn some good young-driver lessons without herself or anyone else getting hurt. :)

Yes, I think I am going to do it for the next two or three days. I didn't today because of going out to lunch, and I am definitely struggling again tonight. My control feels very shaky. How did you do in the end?

Once again, it was GREAT fun--really great, I enjoy his company immensely--and left me feeling like a deflated balloon. Still struggling with ambivalence despite having such a good time, or maybe BECAUSE I had such a good time! I am incredibly tired. There seems to be a pattern here! Is it just that you're so anxious that leaves you feeling like a deflated balloon? Or is it an introvertedness kind of thing -- you put so much energy out into socializing one-on-one that is takes a lot out of you?

My weight was down .4, ate reasonably (including about 3/4 of a steak wrap for lunch, with the cheese and dressing left out), ate sitting down, was pretty mindful considering the distraction of good conversation at lunch, got minimal exercise. OK, I'm gonna round up my kitty and drag my tired butt off to bed now. Hope you had a good day! It seems like your weight is pretty much where you want it right now -- you're under 130 again, I think, and have been?

Report: weighed (up 1.2 to .8 under goal, sigh, and there's the party tonight...avoidance motivation is catching up fast... No exercise, ate so-so -- went out for dinner before a play, ate pretty much what I'd planned, maybe slightly more, but then had a small wine-induced snackfest upon arrival home. Ah, well. I'm still under goal. :)

4EverLearning
02-05-2012, 11:06 PM
Fortunately she's been able to learn some good young-driver lessons without herself or anyone else getting hurt. :)

Who taught your kids to drive?

How did you do in the end?

I went to bed instead of eating--yay me!

Is it just that you're so anxious that leaves you feeling like a deflated balloon? Or is it an introvertedness kind of thing -- you put so much energy out into socializing one-on-one that is takes a lot out of you?

There's certainly an element of anxiety to it, but I think it's mostly your second scenario. Normally when I spend a lot of one-on-one time with someone, I let the other person do all the talking. In fact, most of my friends have been huge talkers (Bethy being perhaps the most extreme case), which takes the pressure off me. But this relationship is very even; I would guess we each talk about the same amount of time. So it just exhausts me--but at the time same pleases me immensely.

It seems like your weight is pretty much where you want it right now -- you're under 130 again, I think, and have been?

This morning I was up .6, back to 129.8. But, yes, I have been under 130 for a couple of weeks now.

Report: weighed (up 1.2 to .8 under goal, sigh, and there's the party tonight...avoidance motivation is catching up fast... No exercise, ate so-so -- went out for dinner before a play, ate pretty much what I'd planned, maybe slightly more, but then had a small wine-induced snackfest upon arrival home. Ah, well. I'm still under goal. :)

I hope the party was enough fun to overcome that avoidance motivation! I ate well today (protein and veggies but no bad carbs) and am feeling more controlled. No exercise. I'm still really tired and need to get to bed.

va1erie
02-06-2012, 08:30 AM
Who taught your kids to drive? My dad, mostly. He taught Michael almost singlehandedly, did quite a bit with Jane, too.

I went to bed instead of eating--yay me! Yay, you!

There's certainly an element of anxiety to it, but I think it's mostly your second scenario. Normally when I spend a lot of one-on-one time with someone, I let the other person do all the talking. In fact, most of my friends have been huge talkers (Bethy being perhaps the most extreme case), which takes the pressure off me. But this relationship is very even; I would guess we each talk about the same amount of time. So it just exhausts me--but at the time same pleases me immensely. Glad it's a good kind of exhausted!

This morning I was up .6, back to 129.8. But, yes, I have been under 130 for a couple of weeks now. Very nice!

I hope the party was enough fun to overcome that avoidance motivation! I ate well today (protein and veggies but no bad carbs) and am feeling more controlled. No exercise. I'm still really tired and need to get to bed. We ended up only staying for most of the first half, then going home. I didn't eat too badly, didn't drink much.

Report: no change (.8 under goal), got up and went to class this morning, yay me, and now I'm HUNGRY so I'm going to have a good breakfast. Hm, maybe oatmeal...

4EverLearning
02-07-2012, 08:02 AM
Sorry i missed you last night. I fell asleep on the couch and then didn't want to do anyting that would wake me up too much to fall back asleep in my bed. I'm home sick today with an ocular migraine. I'll write tonight when hopefully I feel better.

va1erie
02-07-2012, 08:10 AM
Sorry i missed you last night. I fell asleep on the couch and then didn't want to do anyting that would wake me up too much to fall back asleep in my bed. I'm home sick today with an ocular migraine. I'll write tonight when hopefully I feel better. Oh, no! Feel better!

Report: forgot to weigh this morning, grr. That's the first time in several weeks though, so not so bad. WW today for the first time in six weeks, as they were remodelling and had temporarily moved to a site that isn't as convenient for me.

4EverLearning
02-07-2012, 11:04 PM
My dad, mostly. He taught Michael almost singlehandedly, did quite a bit with Jane, too.

Why your dad and not you, just out of curiosity?

We ended up only staying for most of the first half, then going home. I didn't eat too badly, didn't drink much.

And I bet there were many opportunities to eat or drink lots of unplanned stuff!

Report: no change (.8 under goal), got up and went to class this morning, yay me, and now I'm HUNGRY so I'm going to have a good breakfast. Hm, maybe oatmeal...

I keep hearing about "steel-cut" oatmeal. Is that what you eat?

4EverLearning
02-07-2012, 11:06 PM
Report: forgot to weigh this morning, grr. That's the first time in several weeks though, so not so bad. WW today for the first time in six weeks, as they were remodelling and had temporarily moved to a site that isn't as convenient for me.

So how was WW? You haven't said anything about that in quite some time. Do you still find it helpful?

I forgot to weigh this morning, too. I went back to bed after calling in sick. By the time I finally got up, weighing was off my radar. Had a good day eating-wise but canceled my training session. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Hope you had a good one!

va1erie
02-08-2012, 07:59 AM
So how was WW? You haven't said anything about that in quite some time. Do you still find it helpful? I didn't make it -- got held up at the butcher's. But yes, I do find it helpful. It's just one more little nudge each week in the right direction.

I forgot to weigh this morning, too. I went back to bed after calling in sick. By the time I finally got up, weighing was off my radar. Had a good day eating-wise but canceled my training session. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Hope you had a good one! Oh, no, a second day sick! Hope you're feeling better!

Report: weighed (1.8 under goal), went to class this morning. Wednesday morning classes right now are the exact same circuit each week, an all-out 30 seconds followed by 30 seconds of rest, 4 rounds of 5 stations, and it kicks my butt. I was out of breath almost from the start. Great workout. Ate reasonably yesterday, still keep forgetting to leave a bite. That is my goal today: rebuild that habit, it's a worthwhile one to keep.

Hope you had a good one and were feeling better!

4EverLearning
02-08-2012, 11:03 PM
I didn't make it -- got held up at the butcher's. But yes, I do find it helpful. It's just one more little nudge each week in the right direction.

Have you gone to the same group, with the same lecturer, all along?




Report: weighed (1.8 under goal), went to class this morning. Wednesday morning classes right now are the exact same circuit each week, an all-out 30 seconds followed by 30 seconds of rest, 4 rounds of 5 stations, and it kicks my butt. I was out of breath almost from the start. Great workout. Ate reasonably yesterday, still keep forgetting to leave a bite. That is my goal today: rebuild that habit, it's a worthwhile one to keep.

When you're out of breath, you know it's working! Isn't it amazing just how LONG 30 seconds can seem when you're working really hard? Sometimes I think my trainer is lying to me about how much time has passed!

Hope you had a good one and were feeling better!

I feel so-so. I remembered to weigh this morning and was horrified at the result--up 1.6 from 2 days ago (just when I was feeling that the Evista isn't causing a problem for me). What the.....? So I ate very sparingly today and will until I get back under 130 again. No exercise today. Ate everything very slowly and mindfully and am quite hungry at the moment, but am just going to bed. Tomorrow is one of my early mornings. Hope you had a good day!

va1erie
02-09-2012, 05:18 AM
Have you gone to the same group, with the same lecturer, all along? Yes, once I found the leader I liked.

When you're out of breath, you know it's working! Isn't it amazing just how LONG 30 seconds can seem when you're working really hard? Sometimes I think my trainer is lying to me about how much time has passed! Ours uses a preprogrammed music mix that tells us when to start and when to stop and move on, so we know it's accurate! :) Our current Friday series is 60 on/15 off. It's not at top energy for the 60 seconds, though, so while it's hard to do, say, pushups for 60 seconds, I end up more out of strength than out of breath. The 30/30 is supposed to be pushing as hard and fast as you can, and two of the five circuits involve jumping off the ground, so it's pretty aerobic.



I feel so-so. I remembered to weigh this morning and was horrified at the result--up 1.6 from 2 days ago (just when I was feeling that the Evista isn't causing a problem for me). What the.....? So I ate very sparingly today and will until I get back under 130 again. No exercise today. Ate everything very slowly and mindfully and am quite hungry at the moment, but am just going to bed. Tomorrow is one of my early mornings. Hope you had a good day! It could just be daily fluctuation, though, couldn't it? I'm up today, too, alarmingly AT GOAL. Arg. Low day today.

4EverLearning
02-09-2012, 11:39 PM
Yes, once I found the leader I liked.

How often do you go? What feedback do they give you about your weight? Are they still giving you flak about being too light?

Ours uses a preprogrammed music mix that tells us when to start and when to stop and move on, so we know it's accurate! :) Our current Friday series is 60 on/15 off. It's not at top energy for the 60 seconds, though, so while it's hard to do, say, pushups for 60 seconds, I end up more out of strength than out of breath. The 30/30 is supposed to be pushing as hard and fast as you can, and two of the five circuits involve jumping off the ground, so it's pretty aerobic.

Your comment about running out of strength before you run out of breath reminded me of something I heard on TV the other day when I was home sick. A trainer was describing resistance training as exercise that fatigues a localized area of your body, whereas cardio is exercise that fatigues your whole body. I thought that was a great way to describe the difference. I typically run out of breath before I run out of strength, so I guess that means I need more cardio!



It could just be daily fluctuation, though, couldn't it? I'm up today, too, alarmingly AT GOAL. Arg. Low day today.

So I DID hear you screaming this morning!! LOL!!This is the first time you've actually hit your hard-stop since the first time you went under it, right? What were/are you saying to yourself in response?

And did you hear ME screaming, about 6:15AM? I was up another .4 this morning, even though I KNOW I was under 1200 calories yesterday. That flipped me out and made me wonder about water retention from my medication. My rational self managed to talk my emotional self down off the ledge. But I'm going to stay on the low end of my calorie range for a few days until I drop back where I should be. Today I'm at about 1300 calories. I'm glad I have a training session in the morning!

Hope you had a good day, and that you will be rewarded for it on the scale tomorrow!

va1erie
02-10-2012, 08:18 AM
How often do you go? What feedback do they give you about your weight? Are they still giving you flak about being too light? Usually I go every week, but I haven't been in about five weeks since they started the remodel and temporarily moved to a hotel conference room. Looking forward to being back on track next week!

Your comment about running out of strength before you run out of breath reminded me of something I heard on TV the other day when I was home sick. A trainer was describing resistance training as exercise that fatigues a localized area of your body, whereas cardio is exercise that fatigues your whole body. I thought that was a great way to describe the difference. I typically run out of breath before I run out of strength, so I guess that means I need more cardio! I definitely need more cardio! When we do something like scissor jumps or jumping jacks for 60 seconds, I get out of breath.

So I DID hear you screaming this morning!! LOL!!This is the first time you've actually hit your hard-stop since the first time you went under it, right? What were/are you saying to yourself in response? Nothing very productive, unfortunately. Things like, "I need to eat only veggies today!" and such. But I did eat in a reasonable way with a huge salad of all veggies for dinner, and today I'm back at 1.8 under goal, so I think it must have just been water retention. I'm not feeling great today, so maybe I'm fighting something off. That often seems to affect my weight.

And did you hear ME screaming, about 6:15AM? I was up another .4 this morning, even though I KNOW I was under 1200 calories yesterday. That flipped me out and made me wonder about water retention from my medication. My rational self managed to talk my emotional self down off the ledge. But I'm going to stay on the low end of my calorie range for a few days until I drop back where I should be. Today I'm at about 1300 calories. I'm glad I have a training session in the morning! I'm glad you talked yourself off the ledge. It could just be normal daily variation and have little to do with having eaten low the day before -- that does happen. It'll be good to see if a few days of low-end eating will fix whatever it is. If it is just water retention, remember that isn't fat.

Hope you had a good day!

4EverLearning
02-10-2012, 11:59 PM
Usually I go every week, but I haven't been in about five weeks since they started the remodel and temporarily moved to a hotel conference room. Looking forward to being back on track next week!

Do you try to do their diet at all, or do you go to the meetings mostly for the accountability?

I definitely need more cardio! When we do something like scissor jumps or jumping jacks for 60 seconds, I get out of breath.

My trainer frequently has me do a minute of jumping jacks, and they just exhaust me. I'm usually gasping for breath by the time the minute is up. I'm definitely getting better with time, though. Today he had me on the treadmill, running uphill at 5.5 mph, something I've never done before. I alternated 40-sec. intervals of running with 40-sec. intervals of walking (also uphill). I was definitely panting and could hardly talk, but I felt pretty good that I could do it at all!

Nothing very productive, unfortunately. Things like, "I need to eat only veggies today!" and such. But I did eat in a reasonable way with a huge salad of all veggies for dinner, and today I'm back at 1.8 under goal, so I think it must have just been water retention. I'm not feeling great today, so maybe I'm fighting something off. That often seems to affect my weight.

I often find that, as soon as my weight drops again, I relax. Sounds like you are experiencing the same pattern. Are you bothered at all by that? I think sometimes my relaxation (relief, really) is premature and that I should once again reinforce the basic Beck skills. I feel like I gradually slide on the skills until I gain a little, which makes me feel a little frantic and makes me intensify my behavior and self-control until the scale drops again.....only to repeat the same cycle. I'm not feeling particularly good about that, although I continue to be amazed that I am doing as well as I am, and that I've kept at it for such a long time. I think it has been just about a year now since I joined you in this journey, and you have been at it even longer. I think that's pretty awesome, and I continue to be so grateful to you as well as being proud of myself and of you. YAY US!

I'm glad you talked yourself off the ledge. It could just be normal daily variation and have little to do with having eaten low the day before -- that does happen. It'll be good to see if a few days of low-end eating will fix whatever it is. If it is just water retention, remember that isn't fat.

Yeah, I know that water retention isn't a "real" gain, but that's little comfort if it is going to be an ongoing problem. I could potentially be on this medication for years.

my report: weight was down a pound (was relieved to at least see the scale go in the right direction), had a great personal training session (burned 258 calories during that hour according to my Exerspy, which is a record burn for me), ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, stayed OP all day, read my cards, saved a bite for Callie, contacted my diet buddy. I'm very hungry and really want something sweet to eat, so it is time to go to bed!

Hope you warded off whatever is ailing you and had a good day!

va1erie
02-11-2012, 07:02 AM
Do you try to do their diet at all, or do you go to the meetings mostly for the accountability? For accountability, though I do occasionally count points as an easy way to track calories.

My trainer frequently has me do a minute of jumping jacks, and they just exhaust me. I'm usually gasping for breath by the time the minute is up. I'm definitely getting better with time, though. Today he had me on the treadmill, running uphill at 5.5 mph, something I've never done before. I alternated 40-sec. intervals of running with 40-sec. intervals of walking (also uphill). I was definitely panting and could hardly talk, but I felt pretty good that I could do it at all! I've been thinking about trying to run a little on the treadmill. Not sure. My knees have always kept me from being able to do it, but I've had so much less pain from them with the weight loss that I'm wondering if it might be possible to work up to slowly jogging a mile three times a week, just to get the aerobic benefits.

I often find that, as soon as my weight drops again, I relax. Sounds like you are experiencing the same pattern. Totally. Are you bothered at all by that? Totally. :)

I think sometimes my relaxation (relief, really) is premature and that I should once again reinforce the basic Beck skills. I feel like I gradually slide on the skills until I gain a little, which makes me feel a little frantic and makes me intensify my behavior and self-control until the scale drops again.....only to repeat the same cycle. I'm not feeling particularly good about that, although I continue to be amazed that I am doing as well as I am, and that I've kept at it for such a long time. I think it has been just about a year now since I joined you in this journey, and you have been at it even longer. I think that's pretty awesome, and I continue to be so grateful to you as well as being proud of myself and of you. YAY US! Yay, us! Yes, I'd like to get myself to a point where I actually feel I'm controlling my weight rather than simply reacting to changes.



Yeah, I know that water retention isn't a "real" gain, but that's little comfort if it is going to be an ongoing problem. I could potentially be on this medication for years. Yes, BUT: Water retention isn't the same as weight gain in a very, very, very important way. It doesn't accumulate. That is, you aren't going to be retaining a pound of water this week and then two next week and then three the week after that. You're going to retain the amount of water this medication causes you to retain up to some possible maximum. It's not like averaging 100 too many calories every day and gaining a pound every month for years on end. You will NEVER get to the point you're retaining 90 pounds of water. Maybe you'll weigh two or three pounds more than you should for several years...so?

my report: weight was down a pound (was relieved to at least see the scale go in the right direction), had a great personal training session (burned 258 calories during that hour according to my Exerspy, which is a record burn for me), ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, stayed OP all day, read my cards, saved a bite for Callie, contacted my diet buddy. I'm very hungry and really want something sweet to eat, so it is time to go to bed! Good day!

Report: didn't frickin' weigh again! Arg! I went to bed hideously early yesterday (like 7:30) because I was falling off my stool in the kitchen. John came to bed at 11 and without thinking had locked the kitchen door to the garage. Jane came home at 11:30 and found herself locked out. (Uh, maybe giving her a key would be a possible solution? LOL!) So she came around front and knocked, then texted John (who had left his phone out in the family room) then finally rang the doorbell hoping her dad would hear it. (She was trying to spare me because she knows my sleep patterns.) But of course it woke me instead of him. :) And then because I'd had four hours of sleep, it was impossible to get back to sleep, so I've been up since. Gave up and started drinking coffee at 4, and didn't remember I hadn't weighed until my third cup. But I had a pretty good eating day yesterday and exercised, so I'm not overworried.

Hope you had a great day! Did you see your match?

4EverLearning
02-12-2012, 12:15 AM
For accountability, though I do occasionally count points as an easy way to track calories.

Is their point system online somewhere, or do they still make you pay a membership fee in order to get access to their materials?

I've been thinking about trying to run a little on the treadmill. Not sure. My knees have always kept me from being able to do it, but I've had so much less pain from them with the weight loss that I'm wondering if it might be possible to work up to slowly jogging a mile three times a week, just to get the aerobic benefits.

My knees used to torture me to the point that I would practically scream every time I stood up, but running on the treadmill doesn't bother them at all these days. But I would imagine your knees are in worse shape than mine, and running is definitely not low-impact.

Totally. Totally. :)

Methinks she is deflecting me--totally!! LOL!

Yay, us! Yes, I'd like to get myself to a point where I actually feel I'm controlling my weight rather than simply reacting to changes.

That's a good way to put it. And I agree. But, in the meantime, reacting to changes is WAY better than not reacting, which is what I used to do!



Yes, BUT: Water retention isn't the same as weight gain in a very, very, very important way. It doesn't accumulate. That is, you aren't going to be retaining a pound of water this week and then two next week and then three the week after that. You're going to retain the amount of water this medication causes you to retain up to some possible maximum. It's not like averaging 100 too many calories every day and gaining a pound every month for years on end. You will NEVER get to the point you're retaining 90 pounds of water. Maybe you'll weigh two or three pounds more than you should for several years...so?

The reason for my concern is that I have seen posts online from people who claim that they gained 20-30 pounds of water weight, that their ankles swelled unbearably, that they had to take additional drugs to counter the water weight, and so forth. But I recognize the limits of anecdotal evidence, and those stories don't necessarily have any credibility. In fact, many of them sound downright implausible. Even if they are true, I am sure those cases are rare. So my concern is excessive and needs to be countered. If I gain 2 or 3 pounds and that's the extent of it, I can definitely deal with that. I think the sudden gain I saw this week was just a temporary, unexplained fluke, though.



Report: didn't frickin' weigh again! Arg! I went to bed hideously early yesterday (like 7:30) because I was falling off my stool in the kitchen. John came to bed at 11 and without thinking had locked the kitchen door to the garage. Jane came home at 11:30 and found herself locked out. (Uh, maybe giving her a key would be a possible solution? LOL!) So she came around front and knocked, then texted John (who had left his phone out in the family room) then finally rang the doorbell hoping her dad would hear it. (She was trying to spare me because she knows my sleep patterns.) But of course it woke me instead of him. :) And then because I'd had four hours of sleep, it was impossible to get back to sleep, so I've been up since. Gave up and started drinking coffee at 4, and didn't remember I hadn't weighed until my third cup. But I had a pretty good eating day yesterday and exercised, so I'm not overworried.

Jane doesn't have a house key?? Your night sounds like a comedy of errors. You got up about the time I went to bed! It's not a surprise that you would forget to weigh under those conditions. I hope the scale will reward you tomorrow! And I'm glad you had a good eating/exercise day.

my report: My weight was down .6 this morning, took a walk in the mall, stayed OP all day (and am quite hungry now), ate slowly and mindfully, remembered to save a few bites for Callie, contacted my diet buddy.



Did you see your match?
Nope. We've talked on the phone a couple of times this week but haven't made any additional plans to get together.

va1erie
02-12-2012, 07:51 AM
Is their point system online somewhere, or do they still make you pay a membership fee in order to get access to their materials? Since I'm lifetime, if I attend a meeting a month I get free access to their online materials. That's a new policy -- they used to charge everyone for online access, but recently they started offering lifetime members an access code at meetings.


My knees used to torture me to the point that I would practically scream every time I stood up, but running on the treadmill doesn't bother them at all these days. But I would imagine your knees are in worse shape than mine, and running is definitely not low-impact. Yes, my knees are terrible. My knee issues weren't caused by weight issues -- my first dislocation was when I was probably 13, had reached close to my full height and probably weighed 93 pounds -- but they're made worse by extra weight. So losing definitely helps, but it doesn't solve the problems. How cool that the treadmill doesn't bother you when standing up used to! That must feel pretty amazing.

That's a good way to put it. And I agree. But, in the meantime, reacting to changes is WAY better than not reacting, which is what I used to do! Yes, I'm trying to see it as a preliminary step in my journey to lifetime weight control.

The reason for my concern is that I have seen posts online from people who claim that they gained 20-30 pounds of water weight, that their ankles swelled unbearably, that they had to take additional drugs to counter the water weight, and so forth. But I recognize the limits of anecdotal evidence, and those stories don't necessarily have any credibility. In fact, many of them sound downright implausible. Even if they are true, I am sure those cases are rare. So my concern is excessive and needs to be countered. If I gain 2 or 3 pounds and that's the extent of it, I can definitely deal with that. I think the sudden gain I saw this week was just a temporary, unexplained fluke, though. 20 or 30 pounds of water weight? That's a lot, for sure. But I'll bet you're right that it's rare. And I also wonder about what other medical conditions someone might have that might make it more likely in them. Ankles swelling unbearably might be as much a circulation issue as a water retention issue.

Jane doesn't have a house key?? Your night sounds like a comedy of errors. You got up about the time I went to bed! It's not a surprise that you would forget to weigh under those conditions. I hope the scale will reward you tomorrow! And I'm glad you had a good eating/exercise day. I know, crazy. We go in and out our kitchen door, which leads through the garage. The garage door is on an opener, and we leave the door into the kitchen open. Whoever's in last puts the garage door down and locks the door leading into the kitchen. I literally can't remember the last time I used my housekey, but I do have one on my keyring. But because she's never needed one before this, we hadn't really thought about it. I don't think Michael has one on his keyring either, and he's been driving for over four years.

my report: My weight was down .6 this morning, took a walk in the mall, stayed OP all day (and am quite hungry now), ate slowly and mindfully, remembered to save a few bites for Callie, contacted my diet buddy. Great day!

Report: weighed (1.4 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully, sitting down. Left a bite of almost everything, I'm pretty sure. Didn't get much exercise, though I was actively moving around the house doing all sorts of projects -- wish I'd remembered my pedometer!




Nope. We've talked on the phone a couple of times this week but haven't made any additional plans to get together.[/QUOTE]

4EverLearning
02-13-2012, 12:30 AM
Since I'm lifetime, if I attend a meeting a month I get free access to their online materials. That's a new policy -- they used to charge everyone for online access, but recently they started offering lifetime members an access code at meetings.

So that means I could get free access just by attending a single meeting? Or does the access code keep changing?


Yes, my knees are terrible. My knee issues weren't caused by weight issues -- my first dislocation was when I was probably 13, had reached close to my full height and probably weighed 93 pounds -- but they're made worse by extra weight. So losing definitely helps, but it doesn't solve the problems. How cool that the treadmill doesn't bother you when standing up used to! That must feel pretty amazing.

Your knees are like my shoulders, except that I don't think my shoulders were made any worse by my weight. I will always have problems with my shoulders, and my range of motion will always be limited, but I am still amazed at how much of an improvement exercise has wrought. And, yes, it does feel pretty amazing not to have that pain in my knees anymore. I do still hear my knees crunching when I use certain machines, though. The sound is like stepping on broken glass. I think my doctor called it chondromilacia, or something like that (I know I'm not spelling it right).



20 or 30 pounds of water weight? That's a lot, for sure. But I'll bet you're right that it's rare. And I also wonder about what other medical conditions someone might have that might make it more likely in them. Ankles swelling unbearably might be as much a circulation issue as a water retention issue.

I'm sure some of those stories are pure hyperbole. Others are probably the result of misattributing the weight gain to water when it is really fat due to overeating. And, like you said, some of them have to have circulation problems. So I'm not going to worry about it unless and until it happens, which I think is pretty unlikely based on my experience so far. The only major side effect I have noticed is a great increase in the number of hot flashes I have.

I know, crazy. We go in and out our kitchen door, which leads through the garage. The garage door is on an opener, and we leave the door into the kitchen open. Whoever's in last puts the garage door down and locks the door leading into the kitchen. I literally can't remember the last time I used my housekey, but I do have one on my keyring. But because she's never needed one before this, we hadn't really thought about it. I don't think Michael has one on his keyring either, and he's been driving for over four years.

Not so crazy in those circumstances. I do exactly the same thing. I can't remember the last time I used my house key, although I do have one on my keyring and another hidden outside. The only time I ever use the house key is when the electricity goes out or the garage door opener isn't working, which happens frustratingly often.



Report: weighed (1.4 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully, sitting down. Left a bite of almost everything, I'm pretty sure. Didn't get much exercise, though I was actively moving around the house doing all sorts of projects -- wish I'd remembered my pedometer!

I heard your sigh of relief all the way over here! Yay you for the reasonable, mindful eating.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Stayed OP. Ate everything sitting down. Saved a few bites for Callie. Did not get any exercise other than doing laundry and cleaning my condo.

Hope you had another good day!

va1erie
02-13-2012, 11:29 AM
So that means I could get free access just by attending a single meeting? Or does the access code keep changing? You could get free access for a month (IIRC) but then you have to go back for the new access code.

Your knees are like my shoulders, except that I don't think my shoulders were made any worse by my weight. I will always have problems with my shoulders, and my range of motion will always be limited, but I am still amazed at how much of an improvement exercise has wrought. And, yes, it does feel pretty amazing not to have that pain in my knees anymore. I do still hear my knees crunching when I use certain machines, though. The sound is like stepping on broken glass. I think my doctor called it chondromilacia, or something like that (I know I'm not spelling it right). Yeah, my knees make noise. So far so good with pain and inflammation, though -- I've even been doing some squats and lunges.

I'm sure some of those stories are pure hyperbole. Others are probably the result of misattributing the weight gain to water when it is really fat due to overeating. And, like you said, some of them have to have circulation problems. So I'm not going to worry about it unless and until it happens, which I think is pretty unlikely based on my experience so far. The only major side effect I have noticed is a great increase in the number of hot flashes I have. Oh, that's a bummer!

Report: weighed (up to .4 under goal, gaaa), ate reasonably until after wine, sigh, left a bite of nearly everything, went to class this morning.

4EverLearning
02-13-2012, 11:08 PM
You could get free access for a month (IIRC) but then you have to go back for the new access code.

You mean IIRC is the code?

Yeah, my knees make noise. So far so good with pain and inflammation, though -- I've even been doing some squats and lunges.

I can do squats like nobody's business, but I still can't do lunges unless I hang on to my trainer's hand in a death grip. I lose my balance otherwise.



Report: weighed (up to .4 under goal, gaaa), ate reasonably until after wine, sigh, left a bite of nearly everything, went to class this morning.

Hopefully you had a low calorie day, and that combined with the exercise will get you back into your comfort zone. When are you going on vacation--late March? You wanted to be at 111 by then, right?

my report: This was one of my 16-hour days. I didn't even get home until after 9PM. I had to eat lunch in the car, but there's really no way around it on those days. I did stay OP, and I at least ate everything sitting down, if not always completely mindfully! :) My weight was down .2 this morning. Got no exercise but have a training session tomorrow.

Hope today was a better day for you!

va1erie
02-14-2012, 09:30 AM
You mean IIRC is the code? IIRC=If I Recall Correctly. :) I got a code today and refreshed my memory. You sign up for etools, and as long as you weigh in at least once every two months, it's free for lifetime members. If you skip two months, they charge you $14.95 the next month and continue to charge you until you either cancel the subscription to etools or weigh in again and get a new code for two free months of etools. They set it up this way so that it doesn't matter whether you weigh in like clockwork or go the first week in February and then not again until the last week in March -- as long as you weigh in and get a code at least once during every calendar month, you'll keep your free etools. They give you a card with a scratch-off to reveal a unique 18-digit number; the instructions on the card are clear and it took me about thirty seconds today to scratch it off, get to the correct URL, log in, enter the code, and get my free etools refreshed.

I can do squats like nobody's business, but I still can't do lunges unless I hang on to my trainer's hand in a death grip. I lose my balance otherwise. I'll bet your balance is improving, though!

Hopefully you had a low calorie day, and that combined with the exercise will get you back into your comfort zone. When are you going on vacation--late March? You wanted to be at 111 by then, right? Yes, that's the goal. Five weeks or so -- still doable. :)

my report: This was one of my 16-hour days. I didn't even get home until after 9PM. I had to eat lunch in the car, but there's really no way around it on those days. I did stay OP, and I at least ate everything sitting down, if not always completely mindfully! :) My weight was down .2 this morning. Got no exercise but have a training session tomorrow. Yay, you for staying on plan even when you have to eat on the run!

Report: bad night, up at 2 and didn't weigh. No exercise today probably -- I'd like to get on the treadmill, but it's not likely given how busy today is. Ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, though. Definitely will try to remember to weigh tomorrow even if I'm up early.

4EverLearning
02-14-2012, 10:55 PM
IIRC=If I Recall Correctly.

Never heard that one before. I'm guessing that's text language!

I got a code today and refreshed my memory. You sign up for etools, and as long as you weigh in at least once every two months, it's free for lifetime members. If you skip two months, they charge you $14.95 the next month and continue to charge you until you either cancel the subscription to etools or weigh in again and get a new code for two free months of etools. They set it up this way so that it doesn't matter whether you weigh in like clockwork or go the first week in February and then not again until the last week in March -- as long as you weigh in and get a code at least once during every calendar month, you'll keep your free etools. They give you a card with a scratch-off to reveal a unique 18-digit number; the instructions on the card are clear and it took me about thirty seconds today to scratch it off, get to the correct URL, log in, enter the code, and get my free etools refreshed.

I should have realized they'd have it set up so that not everyone who knows someone who knows someone who knows a member can get access! is $14.95 what they charge for a meeting these days? It's been many years since I attended a WW meeting.

I'll bet your balance is improving, though!

Yep, in leaps and bounds! Well, maybe not leaps and bounds quite yet.....but you know what I mean.

Yes, that's the goal. Five weeks or so -- still doable. :)

Definitely doable, and a good incentive.

Report: bad night, up at 2 and didn't weigh. No exercise today probably -- I'd like to get on the treadmill, but it's not likely given how busy today is. Ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, though. Definitely will try to remember to weigh tomorrow even if I'm up early.

Sorry to hear you had a bad night. You really have a tough time with insomnia, and the kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night is often harder to deal with than the kind that prevents you from falling asleep in the first place. Hopefully tonight will be better.

I'm really excited. I was watching Biggest Loser tonight, and a commercial came on for the new Biggest Loser Fitness Resort in western NY--within driving distance of here! I've wanted to go to one of their spas ever since i started watching the show, but the first one is in Utah and the second one is in California, both in places that would be wickedly hot in the summer when I can travel, and both obviously involving a big travel expense. I definitely want to try to get to the NY one this summer. I tried to get to their website but I keep getting a message saying that too many people are trying at once and to try again later. I guess everyone reacted to the commercial the same way I did!

my report: my weight was up .6 this morning. Stayed OP. Had a really good training session. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. Saved a bite for Callie. Contacted my diet buddy.

Happy Valentine's Day!

va1erie
02-15-2012, 03:07 PM
Never heard that one before. I'm guessing that's text language! Started as email language, but, yes, it's now used for text too.

I should have realized they'd have it set up so that not everyone who knows someone who knows someone who knows a member can get access! is $14.95 what they charge for a meeting these days? It's been many years since I attended a WW meeting. I don't think it's that much -- it might be around $29 per month?

I'm really excited. I was watching Biggest Loser tonight, and a commercial came on for the new Biggest Loser Fitness Resort in western NY--within driving distance of here! I've wanted to go to one of their spas ever since i started watching the show, but the first one is in Utah and the second one is in California, both in places that would be wickedly hot in the summer when I can travel, and both obviously involving a big travel expense. I definitely want to try to get to the NY one this summer. I tried to get to their website but I keep getting a message saying that too many people are trying at once and to try again later. I guess everyone reacted to the commercial the same way I did! I went and looked -- it sounds like fun! Expensive, but since it's basically all-inclusive, maybe not that much more expensive than many vacations.

Report: weighed (1.4 under goal), did the wicked Wednesday class that always leaves me gasping for breath, ate a very reasonable breakfast but went out to lunch with the hubs, so a little more than normal there but not too bad. Feel like I need a nap, though.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
02-15-2012, 11:33 PM
I went and looked -- it sounds like fun! Expensive, but since it's basically all-inclusive, maybe not that much more expensive than many vacations.

I know it's really expensive, ridiculously so. But I still really want to do it. I went to the website tonight and read it thoroughly. The only hesitation I have is that is sounds like they expect you to eat what they put in front of you, which could be a huge problem for me, given my picky eating. When I looked at the sample menus, I saw lots of stuff I wouldn't eat.

Report: weighed (1.4 under goal), did the wicked Wednesday class that always leaves me gasping for breath, ate a very reasonable breakfast but went out to lunch with the hubs, so a little more than normal there but not too bad. Feel like I need a nap, though.

YAY for being well under goal, a good exercise class, and a special lunch out. A nap is never a bad thing, either!

My weight was unchanged this morning but will be up tomorrow. I have not had a good evening, eating-wise. I just wolfed down 4 or 5 extra NS desserts after talking on the phone to my match. I seem once again to be at that point of absolute ambivalence, caught in the exquisite agony of an approach-avoidance conflict. (I'm going to visit him in his hometown on Sat.) It was a good day up to that point, though. Oh, well, move on. :(

Hope your day was great!

va1erie
02-16-2012, 05:27 PM
I know it's really expensive, ridiculously so. But I still really want to do it. I went to the website tonight and read it thoroughly. The only hesitation I have is that is sounds like they expect you to eat what they put in front of you, which could be a huge problem for me, given my picky eating. When I looked at the sample menus, I saw lots of stuff I wouldn't eat. I bet they can adjust for you.

My weight was unchanged this morning but will be up tomorrow. I have not had a good evening, eating-wise. I just wolfed down 4 or 5 extra NS desserts after talking on the phone to my match. I seem once again to be at that point of absolute ambivalence, caught in the exquisite agony of an approach-avoidance conflict. (I'm going to visit him in his hometown on Sat.) It was a good day up to that point, though. Oh, well, move on. :( :( So you haven't taken your desserts out of the house yet? What do you think you'd do if you got off the phone and felt that way and didn't have a supply of NS desserts?

report: weighed (1.4 under goal), ate slowly, mindfully, reasonably, left a bite. Went to class yesterday, didn't exercise today. Probably going out to dinner with my daughter, as John went out with a friend. Not a bad day! :)

Hope you have a good one tomorrow, and feel less anxiety over going to your matche's hometown!

4EverLearning
02-16-2012, 11:52 PM
I bet they can adjust for you.

I'm going to call and find out! It wouldn't be a deal breaker either way, but I want to know before I get there. I also want to know if I would be allowed to bring in NS food to supplement theirs if I have a problem with their food.

:( So you haven't taken your desserts out of the house yet? What do you think you'd do if you got off the phone and felt that way and didn't have a supply of NS desserts?

I took care of them today (trash day) by throwing out the few I had left. I feel better having them gone. I don't know what I would/will do next time I feel that way, but at least I know what I WON'T be doing.

report: weighed (1.4 under goal), ate slowly, mindfully, reasonably, left a bite. Went to class yesterday, didn't exercise today. Probably going out to dinner with my daughter, as John went out with a friend. Not a bad day! :)

Glad you had a good day. How did your dinner with Jane go tonight?

I've been meaning to ask you how your tooth is doing. I was reminded of it today when I had an emergency dental appointment. I've had a mild toothache that has been gradually building for several weeks. The tooth has felt a little weird ever since I had the lumpectomy back in Oct., and now the gum tissue is sore as well. My dentist thinks the root may have gotten cracked when I had anesthesia. I am going back to the endodontist who previously worked on the tooth, next Friday. This is the same tooth on which I had a root canal by drilling through the existing crown and then had to get a new crown afterward anyway. I have also had two gum surgeries on this tooth. Thousands of dollars have already been poured into it and now there is a good chance I am going to lose the tooth anyway. It is also the only lower molar I have left on that side, so I would probably need to get an implant to replace it--in other words, lots more pain and expense. Sigh....

Hope you have a good one tomorrow, and feel less anxiety over going to your matche's hometown!

There is definitely some anxiety there, but mostly the feeling is one of conflict. Obviously I have issues about relationships, which I know are right at the core of why I have been fat so much of my life in the first place, and I know that I need to resolve them. I am watching Nightline on TV as I write this, and just now there was a segment on a woman who has lost a lot of weight and has been rewarding herself for each 5 pounds she loses by buying a night with a gigolo!! Maybe she has the right idea!! :D After all, I already have enough charms for my bracelet!

my report: weight was up 1.2 this morning (ACK, but no surprise), had a good OP day, ate everything sitting down and mindfully, took a walk, contacted my diet buddy. I have a training session in the morning, so I need to get to bed now.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
02-17-2012, 01:11 PM
I took care of them today (trash day) by throwing out the few I had left. I feel better having them gone. I don't know what I would/will do next time I feel that way, but at least I know what I WON'T be doing. So you're going to try going without them at all for now?



Glad you had a good day. How did your dinner with Jane go tonight? We ended up ordering in, but I made good choices, so I'm happy!

I've been meaning to ask you how your tooth is doing. Had the permanent crown permanently affixed yesterday -- so far, so good! :) I was reminded of it today when I had an emergency dental appointment. I've had a mild toothache that has been gradually building for several weeks. The tooth has felt a little weird ever since I had the lumpectomy back in Oct., and now the gum tissue is sore as well. My dentist thinks the root may have gotten cracked when I had anesthesia. I am going back to the endodontist who previously worked on the tooth, next Friday. This is the same tooth on which I had a root canal by drilling through the existing crown and then had to get a new crown afterward anyway. I have also had two gum surgeries on this tooth. Thousands of dollars have already been poured into it and now there is a good chance I am going to lose the tooth anyway. It is also the only lower molar I have left on that side, so I would probably need to get an implant to replace it--in other words, lots more pain and expense. Sigh.... Sigh, indeed. Arg. Fingers crossed that it's not the worst case scenario!



There is definitely some anxiety there, but mostly the feeling is one of conflict. Obviously I have issues about relationships, which I know are right at the core of why I have been fat so much of my life in the first place, and I know that I need to resolve them. I am watching Nightline on TV as I write this, and just now there was a segment on a woman who has lost a lot of weight and has been rewarding herself for each 5 pounds she loses by buying a night with a gigolo!! Maybe she has the right idea!! :D After all, I already have enough charms for my bracelet! LOLOL! OMG, that is too funny.

my report: weight was up 1.2 this morning (ACK, but no surprise), had a good OP day, ate everything sitting down and mindfully, took a walk, contacted my diet buddy. I have a training session in the morning, so I need to get to bed now. Not a bad day, considering.

report: weighed (holding steady at 1.4 under goal), went to class this morning, took the car to the shop and walked ~1.2 miles to get some breakfast while they were working on it, ate slowly and mindfully but forgot to leave a bite.

Have a good day tomorrow with your match!

4EverLearning
02-17-2012, 11:32 PM
So you're going to try going without them at all for now?

YES. They seem to be nothing but trouble for me lately.



We ended up ordering in, but I made good choices, so I'm happy!

Good job!

Had the permanent crown permanently affixed yesterday -- so far, so good!

And hopefully that will continue! There's nothing like a nagging toothache to put a damper on your day. I'm glad you'll be rid of it.

Sigh, indeed. Arg. Fingers crossed that it's not the worst case scenario!

I'm crossing my fingers AND my toes, and any other appendage that is remotely crossable!!



LOLOL! OMG, that is too funny.

I thought so, too! She was completely unabashed about it. She said that her doctor told her, "Whatever you're doing, it's working, so keep doing it." That was pretty comical, too!

Not a bad day, considering.

It was a good day, and today was even better. My weight was down .6. I had probably my best (but also most exhausting) training session ever. I burned just under 300 calories according to my Exerspy, a record by far. I did several things I've never done before, like running up and down stairs with a 20 pound weight in each hand. But the best thing was that I finally was able to do lunges (albeit a tad shaky) without holding on to anything, and with weights in my hands (I think they were 10 pounds each). That tickled me! Anyway, I stayed OP all day, consumed about 1400 calories and burned over 2100, which I think is the most I've ever burned in one day! Ate everything slowly and mindfully and sitting down. Definitely a good day.

report: weighed (holding steady at 1.4 under goal), went to class this morning, took the car to the shop and walked ~1.2 miles to get some breakfast while they were working on it, ate slowly and mindfully but forgot to leave a bite.

Sounds like you had a good day, too, and I bet you'll be rewarded with a loss tomorrow.

Have a good day tomorrow with your match!

I'm excited about it. He called me today to ask how I would feel about hiking a trail that is probably wet and somewhat muddy, and I said that sounded great, and meant it! It's supposed to be in the 50's in his area tomorrow. He warned me at least 3 or 4 times about the dangerous roads with hairpin turns, so I'm intrigued to see what the area looks like.

4EverLearning
02-18-2012, 09:05 PM
Hi, Val! Hope you are OK! I just got home from WV and once again am in deflated balloon mode. This time my fatigue is a combination of barely getting any sleep last night, 6 hours spent driving through the mountains, and 2 strenuous hours hiking in rough terrain, in addition to the emotional tiredness. My day was wonderful, though, on numerous levels. When we got up to the top of the mountain and could see 50 miles in all directions, I just had this moment of deep gratitude for all that life has brought me lately and for all of the things I can now do that would have been either physically or emotionally impossible for me to do not very long ago.

My weight was unchanged this morning (surprised me; I was definitely expecting a loss). I ate about 850 calories today other than at lunch; I have no idea how to count lunch (half an egg roll, maybe a quarter of a cup of rice, some pepper steak, and a fortune cookie), but I would think I would have to be in a calorie deficit considering the hiking. Ate very slowly and mindfully, taking care to be cognizant of every bite during lunch and to stop when mildly full.

OK, I'm off to bed before I collapse. Tomorrow I am singing as part of a trio in church, so I need to be functional!

Hope you had a good day and that all is well.

va1erie
02-19-2012, 06:39 AM
YES. They seem to be nothing but trouble for me lately. Kind of a love-hate relationship? :)

It was a good day, and today was even better. My weight was down .6. I had probably my best (but also most exhausting) training session ever. I burned just under 300 calories according to my Exerspy, a record by far. I did several things I've never done before, like running up and down stairs with a 20 pound weight in each hand. But the best thing was that I finally was able to do lunges (albeit a tad shaky) without holding on to anything, and with weights in my hands (I think they were 10 pounds each). Impressive! You are going to be entering fitness contests soon! :) Anyway, I stayed OP all day, consumed about 1400 calories and burned over 2100, which I think is the most I've ever burned in one day! Ate everything slowly and mindfully and sitting down. Definitely a good day. Definitely a good day!

I'm excited about it. He called me today to ask how I would feel about hiking a trail that is probably wet and somewhat muddy, and I said that sounded great, and meant it! How likely would that have been three years ago? :D It's supposed to be in the 50's in his area tomorrow. He warned me at least 3 or 4 times about the dangerous roads with hairpin turns, so I'm intrigued to see what the area looks like.

Hi, Val! Hope you are OK! Sorry! Had an odd day timingwise and lost track of the fact that it wasn't still the day before which meant I'd already checked in! I just got home from WV and once again am in deflated balloon mode. This time my fatigue is a combination of barely getting any sleep last night, 6 hours spent driving through the mountains, and 2 strenuous hours hiking in rough terrain, in addition to the emotional tiredness. My day was wonderful, though, on numerous levels. When we got up to the top of the mountain and could see 50 miles in all directions, I just had this moment of deep gratitude for all that life has brought me lately and for all of the things I can now do that would have been either physically or emotionally impossible for me to do not very long ago. Wow! I can only imagine. I hope you had a camera with you! That photo would be one for your memory box! :) It sounds like a fantastic day, even with six hours of driving. Where in WV were you hiking? I love that area. I've always wished I lived closer to an area of natural beauty. Cincinnati is just about as far from recreational areas as it's possible to be. It's a three hour drive just to get into the foothills of the Appalachians.

My weight was unchanged this morning (surprised me; I was definitely expecting a loss). With that heavy workout and then a long hike, you may be retaining water in your muscles.I ate about 850 calories today other than at lunch; I have no idea how to count lunch (half an egg roll, maybe a quarter of a cup of rice, some pepper steak, and a fortune cookie), AND CHINESE FOOD? You go, girl! Yeah, that's hard to count -- some egg rolls are huge, others are tiny, and then you can't know how much oil is in the pepper steak but I would think I would have to be in a calorie deficit considering the hiking. I would assume so, too. You moved like crazy. Ate very slowly and mindfully, taking care to be cognizant of every bite during lunch and to stop when mildly full. Which is fantastic, given that I'm sure you had plenty to distract you! :) And it sounds like even though you're emotionally exhausted, it feels like a good sort of emotional exhaustion. Maybe a little like the tiredness/soreness you feel after working out is a good sort of tiredness?

Sorry for not checking in! report: weighed both days, stayed the same (1.4 under goal) and I'm fine with this weight, even if I ended up staying here long term, but I still want to pull off a few pounds before going on vacation so I don't risk coming back over goal. Ate reasonably even though I was at a charity fundraiser party where one of the fundraising ploys was getting people to buy things to consume -- jell-o shots, raw oysters -- and the other was voting on the best chili, which meant everyone needed to take a taste of all eight. I had one jell-o shot, one oyster, and the smallest possible tastes of all the chilis, didn't add any cheese or sour cream or crackers to any of my tastes, skipped all the desserts and only had one appetizer -- a woman in our group makes her own smoked salmon, and she'd brought some, so I had to have that -- and one glass of wine. I felt pretty good, considering. Didn't get any exercise. Spent the day making bread for the party, making chili, and going through old photos to pack some up to send to a place that turns them all into jpegs and posts them in an online storage account.

Hope things go well with the singing!

4EverLearning
02-19-2012, 11:33 PM
Kind of a love-hate relationship? :)

TOTALLY.

Impressive! You are going to be entering fitness contests soon! :)

LOL!! Yeah, I can win the Most Improved Klutz Award!! :D

Definitely a good day!

The BEST, on many levels!

How likely would that have been three years ago? :D

A loooooooong shot, to say the least!

Sorry! Had an odd day timingwise and lost track of the fact that it wasn't still the day before which meant I'd already checked in!

No problem. I often feel like I've done things, or told people things, because I did them or said them in my head!

Wow! I can only imagine. I hope you had a camera with you! That photo would be one for your memory box! :) It sounds like a fantastic day, even with six hours of driving. Where in WV were you hiking? I love that area. I've always wished I lived closer to an area of natural beauty. Cincinnati is just about as far from recreational areas as it's possible to be. It's a three hour drive just to get into the foothills of the Appalachians.

Nope, no camera, but I should definitely write a memory card. I was in a tiny town of 2000 people, maybe 40 miles or so southeast of Parkersburg. It was truly breathtaking. I've never thought of myself as someone who could really explore or fully enjoy an area like that, but I can definitely imagine it now.

With that heavy workout and then a long hike, you may be retaining water in your muscles.

Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that, but I bet you are right.

AND CHINESE FOOD? You go, girl! Yeah, that's hard to count -- some egg rolls are huge, others are tiny, and then you can't know how much oil is in the pepper steak

The egg roll was tiny but very crispy-fried. And I have no idea how much oil would have been in the pepper steak, but I didn't eat a whole lot of it--maybe a third of the container at most.

I would assume so, too. You moved like crazy.

I did! And I wasn't even particularly winded!

Which is fantastic, given that I'm sure you had plenty to distract you! :)

Oh, yeah, plenty of distraction for sure.

And it sounds like even though you're emotionally exhausted, it feels like a good sort of emotional exhaustion. Maybe a little like the tiredness/soreness you feel after working out is a good sort of tiredness?

Yes, it was definitely a good tiredness, both the physical and the emotional components of it. I slept really well last night.

Sorry for not checking in! report: weighed both days, stayed the same (1.4 under goal) and I'm fine with this weight, even if I ended up staying here long term, but I still want to pull off a few pounds before going on vacation so I don't risk coming back over goal. Ate reasonably even though I was at a charity fundraiser party where one of the fundraising ploys was getting people to buy things to consume -- jell-o shots, raw oysters -- and the other was voting on the best chili, which meant everyone needed to take a taste of all eight. I had one jell-o shot, one oyster, and the smallest possible tastes of all the chilis, didn't add any cheese or sour cream or crackers to any of my tastes, skipped all the desserts and only had one appetizer -- a woman in our group makes her own smoked salmon, and she'd brought some, so I had to have that -- and one glass of wine. I felt pretty good, considering. Didn't get any exercise. Spent the day making bread for the party, making chili, and going through old photos to pack some up to send to a place that turns them all into jpegs and posts them in an online storage account.

Good for you for being comfortable with your weight. I think that's half the battle. And it sounds like you did a great job of controlling what you ate and drank at the fundraiser, under some pretty challenging conditions. When you are in a situation like that, especially when there is no way to know exactly how many calories are involved, what is your strategy for deciding what to eat?

Hope things go well with the singing!

The singing went great! It was a very good day. Weight was down .2, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, and took a walk. Hope you had a good one, too!

va1erie
02-20-2012, 08:56 AM
Nope, no camera, but I should definitely write a memory card. I was in a tiny town of 2000 people, maybe 40 miles or so southeast of Parkersburg. It was truly breathtaking. I've never thought of myself as someone who could really explore or fully enjoy an area like that, but I can definitely imagine it now. That is the coolest thing ever -- feeling new possibilities open up to you!

The egg roll was tiny but very crispy-fried. And I have no idea how much oil would have been in the pepper steak, but I didn't eat a whole lot of it--maybe a third of the container at most. Very crispy can actually be better -- it can mean it was fried at very high temps, which means you don't get grease soaking in. Sauces are tricky at Chinese places, though. In most cooking styles, a clear sauce is a lower-calorie sauce. In Chinese cooking, a clear sauce can be high in fat or sugar.

Yes, it was definitely a good tiredness, both the physical and the emotional components of it. I slept really well last night. Yay for you!

Good for you for being comfortable with your weight. I think that's half the battle. And it sounds like you did a great job of controlling what you ate and drank at the fundraiser, under some pretty challenging conditions. When you are in a situation like that, especially when there is no way to know exactly how many calories are involved, what is your strategy for deciding what to eat? Really it's just to limit portion sizes and avoid the really worst things unless there's some compelling reason (generally that it's something I don't often get) to try something, and then again to limit the portion.

The singing went great! It was a very good day. Weight was down .2, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, and took a walk. Hope you had a good one, too! Yay, you!

Report: up latish for class this morning so didn't weigh, but I feel kind of heavy and blah -- going to have a very low day today. It's a good day to as I don't have any eating events planned except for lunch with my friend Sue. Jane's off school, and she wants to babysit Sue's 3-yo and 1-yo grandkids, whom Sue watches most days for her son and daughter-in-law while they work. She told Sue she'd take them for a couple hours if Sue wanted to run an errand, so I'm taking Sue out to get lunch. (She's blind and doesn't drive.) But Sue is a very healthy eater, very calorie-conscious, so we'll likely go somewhere we can get a salad. Walked to class this morning even though it was coooooold, so got both planned and spontaneous exercise. I'd like to get on the treadmill too, as I'd like to start getting on daily even if only for fifteen minutes. I left my sneakers on when I got home from class, am planning on not taking them off until I get on the treadmill. That'll give me incentive because I really hate wearing shoes and never wear them unless I have to.

Hope you had a great day! Were you off today?

Update: got on the treadmill for not quite 20 minutes, yay me! Did some one-minute intervals of running and walking, which is a new one for me. Even one minute of a very slow run (4.5 mph) started to make my calves ache and twitch, and they couldn't do more than three running intervals in a row without slowing to a fast walk for the "work" intervals, which tells me how out of shape they are. But my knees seem to have held up, so yay for that!

Val

4EverLearning
02-20-2012, 11:04 PM
That is the coolest thing ever -- feeling new possibilities open up to you!

It really is. I hardly have the words to express the sense of gratitude I often feel lately. I feel like a little kid in a lot of ways--a happy kid ready to play and explore!

Very crispy can actually be better -- it can mean it was fried at very high temps, which means you don't get grease soaking in. Sauces are tricky at Chinese places, though. In most cooking styles, a clear sauce is a lower-calorie sauce. In Chinese cooking, a clear sauce can be high in fat or sugar.

Hmmm, that's interesting (and good to know) about the super-crispy egg rolls. I would have anticipated the opposite. I do know that the sauces on Chinese food can be really fattening, though. And they also have MSG, right?



Really it's just to limit portion sizes and avoid the really worst things unless there's some compelling reason (generally that it's something I don't often get) to try something, and then again to limit the portion.

That's simple but effective--and capitalizes on the sensory-specific satiety effect.



Report: up latish for class this morning so didn't weigh, but I feel kind of heavy and blah -- going to have a very low day today. It's a good day to as I don't have any eating events planned except for lunch with my friend Sue. Jane's off school, and she wants to babysit Sue's 3-yo and 1-yo grandkids, whom Sue watches most days for her son and daughter-in-law while they work. She told Sue she'd take them for a couple hours if Sue wanted to run an errand, so I'm taking Sue out to get lunch. (She's blind and doesn't drive.) But Sue is a very healthy eater, very calorie-conscious, so we'll likely go somewhere we can get a salad.

Wow, it must be challenging to take care of two toddlers without being able to see. Hope you two had a good lunch! I would love to go out to eat with someone who watches what they eat. Most of my friends seem to gravitate toward the most caloric thing on the menu!

Walked to class this morning even though it was coooooold, so got both planned and spontaneous exercise. I'd like to get on the treadmill too, as I'd like to start getting on daily even if only for fifteen minutes. I left my sneakers on when I got home from class, am planning on not taking them off until I get on the treadmill. That'll give me incentive because I really hate wearing shoes and never wear them unless I have to.

WOW, YAY YOU on all fronts! I applaud your intent to get on the treadmill for 15 minutes daily, just to establish the habit. My trainer recently asked me to get on my treadmill for 20 minutes each day, but I admit I haven't done it yet. My reasons are that I can't stand the thought of getting up any earlier, having to change my clothes an extra time, and using the treadmill when it's so cold in my garage. But those are all just excuses--and not even very good ones!

Hope you had a great day! Were you off today?

Nope, it was a normal work day, but it was a good one. I got my student evaluations back from last semester, and they were wonderful. In addition to all the appropriate and relevant comments about my teaching style, there were several comments about my looks--mostly about how nicely dressed I always am and how professional I look. But then there was one saying that I have "the best legs on campus." The feminist in me knows enough to feel guilty that I'm not offended and outraged by comments like that. But the 57-year-old former fatty is pretty tickled!

My weight was down .8 this morning (finally!). Stayed OP all day (much easier without those darn desserts around!). Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Got no exercise other than intentionally parking in a spot far from my destination at the mall.

Update: got on the treadmill for not quite 20 minutes, yay me! Did some one-minute intervals of running and walking, which is a new one for me. Even one minute of a very slow run (4.5 mph) started to make my calves ache and twitch, and they couldn't do more than three running intervals in a row without slowing to a fast walk for the "work" intervals, which tells me how out of shape they are. But my knees seem to have held up, so yay for that!

Whenever I do get on the treadmill in between training sessions (less often than I should), I do the one-minute intervals, so I know what you mean. It's very tiring. But the fact that your knees can take the strain is a great thing! Have you been back to your orthopedist lately to see how your knees are doing? And BTW, if it's your calves that are tired, there's a machine at my gym that has strengthened my calves to an amazing degree. Maybe your gym has one, too. You sit with a weight clamped down on your lower thighs, put your toes on a little ledge, and then repeatedly flex your calf muscles to lift up the weights repeatedly.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. In addition to my classes and a personal training session, I am going out to dinner with a colleague from school, and then we are going to a play at the campus' PAC. We're going to Applebee's to check out their new low-calorie entrees that I keep seeing advertised on TV.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
02-21-2012, 01:02 PM
I do know that the sauces on Chinese food can be really fattening, though. And they also have MSG, right? Generally. MSG makes food taste good. As long as I don't get it often, I don't worry too much about it, but some folks are sensitive to it.

Wow, it must be challenging to take care of two toddlers without being able to see. Hope you two had a good lunch! I would love to go out to eat with someone who watches what they eat. Most of my friends seem to gravitate toward the most caloric thing on the menu! She manages. She's "only" legally blind -- can see to get around as long as the light is right (dim light is best for her), can even read large print with a very strong magnification lens she puts on the page and puts her eye right up to it.



WOW, YAY YOU on all fronts! I applaud your intent to get on the treadmill for 15 minutes daily, just to establish the habit. My trainer recently asked me to get on my treadmill for 20 minutes each day, but I admit I haven't done it yet. My reasons are that I can't stand the thought of getting up any earlier, having to change my clothes an extra time, and using the treadmill when it's so cold in my garage. But those are all just excuses--and not even very good ones! They aren't =bad= excuses, but they do seem to be ones you could overcome. Maybe only do it on days you don't have a blindingly early class, put a space heater in the garage and turn it on as soon as you get up so it'll be warmer by the time you're dressed and ready to walk, start with committing to -five- minutes on the treadmill?

Nope, it was a normal work day, but it was a good one. I got my student evaluations back from last semester, and they were wonderful. In addition to all the appropriate and relevant comments about my teaching style, there were several comments about my looks--mostly about how nicely dressed I always am and how professional I look. But then there was one saying that I have "the best legs on campus." The feminist in me knows enough to feel guilty that I'm not offended and outraged by comments like that. But the 57-year-old former fatty is pretty tickled! Hey, it's only offensive if it's not welcome. :) There's no need for feminist shame for enjoying a man's appreciative attention. Gloria Steinem seems to manage looking hot AND being taken seriously.

My weight was down .8 this morning (finally!). Stayed OP all day (much easier without those darn desserts around!). Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Got no exercise other than intentionally parking in a spot far from my destination at the mall. Hey, that's something.

Whenever I do get on the treadmill in between training sessions (less often than I should), I do the one-minute intervals, so I know what you mean. It's very tiring. But the fact that your knees can take the strain is a great thing! Have you been back to your orthopedist lately to see how your knees are doing? I haven't. I'm actually thinking of changing docs -- this one has gotten so big and famous that the word is he doesn't do his own surgeries any more. His fellows do them. I want to know who is going to be cutting into me and that I'm not part of anyone's training process. And BTW, if it's your calves that are tired, there's a machine at my gym that has strengthened my calves to an amazing degree. Maybe your gym has one, too. You sit with a weight clamped down on your lower thighs, put your toes on a little ledge, and then repeatedly flex your calf muscles to lift up the weights repeatedly. I don't have a gym, other than the little studio, and it doesn't have ANY machines. Everything we do is free weights or using our own body as the weight. But I used to do something similar to that machine -- every day I'd do thirty times up and down on my toes slowly. No extra weights, but I could just build to doing it with weights in my hands, or even pressing myself downward by clamping my hands under the kitchen counter to put more 'weight' on the calf muscles.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. In addition to my classes and a personal training session, I am going out to dinner with a colleague from school, and then we are going to a play at the campus' PAC. We're going to Applebee's to check out their new low-calorie entrees that I keep seeing advertised on TV. What's a PAC?

report: didn't weigh at home, but did weigh at WW meeting, .2 over goal with clothes on and after drinking a ton of coffee and having breakfast, so I count that as under goal. No exercise yet, and I haven't put on my exercise clothes to get on the treadmill -- usually when I'm trying to build the habit, I put on my exercise clothes and shoes first thing in the morning and don't let myself take them off until I've worked out, but this morning I had to be at an appointment at 9:30 and a second one at 11, so I had no time. May go put my exercise clothes on after this, though, as I don't have any more appts today.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
02-21-2012, 11:20 PM
Generally. MSG makes food taste good. As long as I don't get it often, I don't worry too much about it, but some folks are sensitive to it.

MSG causes water retention, right?

She manages. She's "only" legally blind -- can see to get around as long as the light is right (dim light is best for her), can even read large print with a very strong magnification lens she puts on the page and puts her eye right up to it.

"Only" legally blind still sounds like a pretty major handicap.



They aren't =bad= excuses, but they do seem to be ones you could overcome. Maybe only do it on days you don't have a blindingly early class, put a space heater in the garage and turn it on as soon as you get up so it'll be warmer by the time you're dressed and ready to walk, start with committing to -five- minutes on the treadmill?

That all sounds very reasonable and doable. But I'm not ready to commit to it right at the moment. The motivation just isn't there. :(

Hey, it's only offensive if it's not welcome. :) There's no need for feminist shame for enjoying a man's appreciative attention. Gloria Steinem seems to manage looking hot AND being taken seriously.

I guess what I'm saying is that I know it is SUPPOSED to be unwelcome!! But I just can't help myself! :D


I haven't. I'm actually thinking of changing docs -- this one has gotten so big and famous that the word is he doesn't do his own surgeries any more. His fellows do them. I want to know who is going to be cutting into me and that I'm not part of anyone's training process.

Hmmm, that's definitely the downside of having a doctor who's "too" good! I definitely agree with you, though.

I don't have a gym, other than the little studio, and it doesn't have ANY machines. Everything we do is free weights or using our own body as the weight. But I used to do something similar to that machine -- every day I'd do thirty times up and down on my toes slowly. No extra weights, but I could just build to doing it with weights in my hands, or even pressing myself downward by clamping my hands under the kitchen counter to put more 'weight' on the calf muscles.

I knew you go to a small place but didn't know it has no machines. But there are always ways to accomplish the same goals without all the fancy equipment. In fact, in many cases, I think all of that equipment is just a money-making racket!

What's a PAC?

Performing Arts Center. The play was great--really intense and draining, but incredibly well done. There were only four actors in the whole thing, with one of them being involved in virtually every single scene. I can't imagine what an undertaking it would be to memorize that many lines.

report: didn't weigh at home, but did weigh at WW meeting, .2 over goal with clothes on and after drinking a ton of coffee and having breakfast, so I count that as under goal. No exercise yet, and I haven't put on my exercise clothes to get on the treadmill -- usually when I'm trying to build the habit, I put on my exercise clothes and shoes first thing in the morning and don't let myself take them off until I've worked out, but this morning I had to be at an appointment at 9:30 and a second one at 11, so I had no time. May go put my exercise clothes on after this, though, as I don't have any more appts today.

I think you are definitely safe in saying you are well under goal! Were you successful in getting on the treadmill?

My weight was unchanged this morning. Had a good personal training session. Had a new dijon chicken entree at Applebee's, which is supposed to be less than 550 calories. Otherwise OP. It's been a long and busy day, and I am very tired.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
02-22-2012, 10:23 AM
MSG causes water retention, right? I think I've heard some people say it does for them. Food that has MSG often also has a lot of salt, though.

"Only" legally blind still sounds like a pretty major handicap. Yeah, it is. If there's a dropoff or something, she's very careful to always keep someone else between her and it because she just wouldn't see the edge of a deck or of a cliff. She recognizes people by their voices and then at noisy events by the general large pattern of their clothing once she's seen them. She's got an amazing memory. And she manages. She's a good cook and baker, for instance. And she'll take the kids out in the stroller on her own. She and her husband intentionally chose this particular neighborhood because we can walk to so much -- we can walk to the grocery, produce market, the library, the post office, bank, shops and salons, restaurants, even all three schools our kids attended thru 8th grade. Once she knows the way and knows about any obstacles like uneven spots in the sidewalk or whatever, she'll go out on her own.

That all sounds very reasonable and doable. But I'm not ready to commit to it right at the moment. The motivation just isn't there. :( Baby steps. You're already doing a LOT of exercise. One of these days -- maybe when it's warm and you don't have school -- you can develop the habit. :)

I knew you go to a small place but didn't know it has no machines. But there are always ways to accomplish the same goals without all the fancy equipment. In fact, in many cases, I think all of that equipment is just a money-making racket! I agree. I think I read somewhere that their real advantage is that they force you into good form so are good for beginners, but the major disadvantage is that they target one muscle or muscle group so exactly that the surrounding muscles don't get worked out. When you do pushups, you're working out your entire upper body plus your core. When you do lunges, you work out all your leg muscles, your core, and develop your balance. So in theory you get a lot more out of the workout as long as your form is good.

Performing Arts Center. The play was great--really intense and draining, but incredibly well done. There were only four actors in the whole thing, with one of them being involved in virtually every single scene. I can't imagine what an undertaking it would be to memorize that many lines. Oh, I misread you to have said you 'went to play at the new PAC.' LOL, I was thinking some sort of playground-style workout center for adults. :)


My weight was unchanged this morning. Had a good personal training session. Had a new dijon chicken entree at Applebee's, which is supposed to be less than 550 calories. Otherwise OP. It's been a long and busy day, and I am very tired. Good day for you! How was the dijon chicken? I've heard Applebees has a lot of low-cal choices. I think they may even have partnered with WW at one point.

Weighed (1.8 under goal), ate VERY reasonably all day -- bar for breakfast, huge salad for lunch, veggie soup and curried cauliflower for dinner -- but didn't get on the treadmill because I remembered I'm not supposed to sweat for at least 24 hours after getting my hair straightened, which I did yesterday morning. Actually I had it straightened last Wednesday, but a little section didn't take so I had to go back for a touchup yesterday. Normally I schedule it for just after a workout so I don't have to miss one because of my hair, but this was his only free time. Also couldn't go to my class this morning because of the hair, but I can wash it in a few hours.

Hope you had another great day!

va1erie
02-23-2012, 07:45 PM
Am I missing a post by you? I'm having computer issues! Will be back tomorrow!

va1erie
02-24-2012, 08:55 AM
report: weighed (1.8 under goal), ate slowly, reasonably, sitting down. Didn't leave a bite, shoot. Went to class this morning. Meant to walk but lost track of time and then it was too late.

Hope you manage to get back on soon!

Val

4EverLearning
02-24-2012, 09:05 PM
I think I've heard some people say it does for them. Food that has MSG often also has a lot of salt, though.

That's what I've always heard about MSG.

Yeah, it is. If there's a dropoff or something, she's very careful to always keep someone else between her and it because she just wouldn't see the edge of a deck or of a cliff. She recognizes people by their voices and then at noisy events by the general large pattern of their clothing once she's seen them. She's got an amazing memory. And she manages. She's a good cook and baker, for instance. And she'll take the kids out in the stroller on her own. She and her husband intentionally chose this particular neighborhood because we can walk to so much -- we can walk to the grocery, produce market, the library, the post office, bank, shops and salons, restaurants, even all three schools our kids attended thru 8th grade. Once she knows the way and knows about any obstacles like uneven spots in the sidewalk or whatever, she'll go out on her own.

Wow, she must have an AMAZING memory to accomplish all that. And she must be very confident, too. I like her attitude!

Baby steps. You're already doing a LOT of exercise. One of these days -- maybe when it's warm and you don't have school -- you can develop the habit. :)

Today my trainer was talking about how hard he'd like to push me once school is out and I have more time. ACK. He was reminiscing today about where I started and reminding me of how far I have come. He said he never would have believed at the start that I'd ever be capable of what I am doing now. In fact, he said he thought he was in way over his head when he started training me because he had no idea how to deal with someone with such low capabilities. Like I said--Most Improved Award goes to.......MOI!

I agree. I think I read somewhere that their real advantage is that they force you into good form so are good for beginners, but the major disadvantage is that they target one muscle or muscle group so exactly that the surrounding muscles don't get worked out. When you do pushups, you're working out your entire upper body plus your core. When you do lunges, you work out all your leg muscles, your core, and develop your balance. So in theory you get a lot more out of the workout as long as your form is good.

That makes perfect sense and squares with my experiences. Whenever I first use a new machine, I always try to identify precisely what muscle group is targeted, just from the way I feel, and I usually can.

Oh, I misread you to have said you 'went to play at the new PAC.' LOL, I was thinking some sort of playground-style workout center for adults. :)

LOL!!! No wonder you were confused!!


Good day for you! How was the dijon chicken? I've heard Applebees has a lot of low-cal choices. I think they may even have partnered with WW at one point.

The dijon chicken was excellent (after I had them leave off the portabello mushrooms, of course!), although I was really glad I asked for the dijon sauce on the side, since it was incredibly strong. Your memory is correct regarding WW. Applebee's has both an "under 550 calories" menu AND a WW menu. The WW dishes are listed by points rather than calories. I find it confusing to have those two separate menus, though, because I wonder if one menu is somehow healthier or more appropriate than the other.

Weighed (1.8 under goal), ate VERY reasonably all day -- bar for breakfast, huge salad for lunch, veggie soup and curried cauliflower for dinner -- but didn't get on the treadmill because I remembered I'm not supposed to sweat for at least 24 hours after getting my hair straightened, which I did yesterday morning. Actually I had it straightened last Wednesday, but a little section didn't take so I had to go back for a touchup yesterday. Normally I schedule it for just after a workout so I don't have to miss one because of my hair, but this was his only free time. Also couldn't go to my class this morning because of the hair, but I can wash it in a few hours.

I didn't realize that you straighten your hair! And I didn't know that sweating afterward was an issue. But even without the workout, it sounds like you had a very good day.

4EverLearning
02-24-2012, 09:11 PM
report: weighed (1.8 under goal), ate slowly, reasonably, sitting down. Didn't leave a bite, shoot. Went to class this morning. Meant to walk but lost track of time and then it was too late.

Hope you manage to get back on soon!
l

A good day for you!

I have had two good OP days in a row now. Weight was down 1.8 this morning. Feeling in control again. Had a good personal training session today. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Phew!

I also saw the endodontist today for an evaluation on my tooth. He didn't think trying to redo the root canal would be helpful, and he is sending me to my periodontist for another look. But I have an infection, and he also thought he could see a crack in the tooth below the gum line, so I am most likely going to have the tooth extracted--after several years of constant procedures, costing thousands of dollars. Oh, well, move on. :(

4EverLearning
02-25-2012, 11:38 PM
Oops, looks like I need to let you know via email that I managed to get back on here! Had another good OP day. Weight was down another 1.6 this morning--3.4 pounds in two days! How crazy is that? Almost as crazy as gaining 3.4 pounds in one day! Feeling in control again. Ate everything slowly and mindfully and sitting down. Got only minimal spontaneous exercise, though.

Hope you had a good day!

va1erie
02-26-2012, 11:23 AM
Oops, looks like I need to let you know via email that I managed to get back on here! Had another good OP day. Weight was down another 1.6 this morning--3.4 pounds in two days! How crazy is that? Almost as crazy as gaining 3.4 pounds in one day! Feeling in control again. Ate everything slowly and mindfully and sitting down. Got only minimal spontaneous exercise, though.

Hope you had a good day!

Whoops, sorry! So yay for you, down again after the Evening O' Breakfasts. :)

Bummer about your tooth -- what a pain. Literally, I'm sure.

LOL about your trainer licking his chops over you having summers off! You'll end up running a 5K by August!

Re: the WW stuff. It used to be a pretty straight 50-calories-per-point with a bit of leeway for healthier foods (50 calories of french fries would be a point, while you might get 75 calories' worth of something like shrimp or oatmeal for a point) but they've taken that a little bit further to even more strongly encourage healthy choices, and now you need to look things up in the directory to be sure. But generally you can still assume it's -around- 50 calories per point. Only if the choices were particularly healthy (non-starchy veggies, lean proteins, whole grains) would you be getting more calories than 50 per point. So if it's 7 points, you can probably figure it's around 350 calories.

Hm...I think I forgot to weigh. Did I? Oh, wait, I did -- at 2am, when I got up. 1.8 under goal still. So-so day yesterday. I took a class in fish butchery and we ate what we prepared. Yummy, but definitely not low cal. But I ate a reasonable dinner, and I'm not up, so I guess I did okay. Class tomorrow!

Hope you had a great Sunday!

4EverLearning
02-26-2012, 09:32 PM
Whoops, sorry! So yay for you, down again after the Evening O' Breakfasts. :)

LOL!!! Evening O' Breakfasts!! I like that!

Bummer about your tooth -- what a pain. Literally, I'm sure.

Definitely. Today was not the best day--fine, eating-wise, just not very productive due to the pain.

LOL about your trainer licking his chops over you having summers off! You'll end up running a 5K by August!

Aren't YOU the funny one!! ACK

Re: the WW stuff. It used to be a pretty straight 50-calories-per-point with a bit of leeway for healthier foods (50 calories of french fries would be a point, while you might get 75 calories' worth of something like shrimp or oatmeal for a point) but they've taken that a little bit further to even more strongly encourage healthy choices, and now you need to look things up in the directory to be sure. But generally you can still assume it's -around- 50 calories per point. Only if the choices were particularly healthy (non-starchy veggies, lean proteins, whole grains) would you be getting more calories than 50 per point. So if it's 7 points, you can probably figure it's around 350 calories.

The friend I was eating dinner with did WW years ago and also said she thought a point was 50 calories. Some of the Applebee's WW entrees were 12 points--not exactly low-cal! I am out of NS breakfasts at the moment (due to the Evening O' Breakfasts), so I bought some WW ones to tide me over. I had the first one this morning. It had 240 calories (compared to the 220 I normally eat) but didn't fill me up nearly as long as my usual breakfasts do. I guess there must be some truth to NS food being low on the glycemic index/

Hm...I think I forgot to weigh. Did I? Oh, wait, I did -- at 2am, when I got up. 1.8 under goal still. So-so day yesterday. I took a class in fish butchery and we ate what we prepared. Yummy, but definitely not low cal. But I ate a reasonable dinner, and I'm not up, so I guess I did okay. Class tomorrow!

If you weighed yourself at 2AM, no wonder you don't remember! I didn't even go to bed until about 3AM last night (or this morning, actually). A class in fish butchery??? I must say that that sounds a tad unappealing--not sure I could even enjoy eating a fish after I finished butchering it!!

My weight was up .6 this morning (don't know why, but I know I didn't overeat yesterday). Had another OP day today. I'm very tired and actually planning to go to bed shortly. Tomorrow is one of my 16-hour, eat-in-the-car, days. I am definitely not looking forward to it, with a toothache.

Hope you had a terrific day!

va1erie
02-27-2012, 08:13 AM
The friend I was eating dinner with did WW years ago and also said she thought a point was 50 calories. Some of the Applebee's WW entrees were 12 points--not exactly low-cal! I am out of NS breakfasts at the moment (due to the Evening O' Breakfasts), so I bought some WW ones to tide me over. I had the first one this morning. It had 240 calories (compared to the 220 I normally eat) but didn't fill me up nearly as long as my usual breakfasts do. I guess there must be some truth to NS food being low on the glycemic index Interesting! I don't think I've ever heard that WW items are low-glycemic, so maybe they aren't!

A class in fish butchery??? I must say that that sounds a tad unappealing--not sure I could even enjoy eating a fish after I finished butchering it!! It was actually very cool learning how to start with a whole fish and end up with filets. We learned to do both a "round fish" (like a red snapper) and a "flat fish" (like grouper.) The benefit to starting with a whole fish is that you can tell by looking at a whole fish that it's fresh and hasn't been frozen. So it's basically a way of getting the freshest fish possible, which here in Ohio isn't easy.

My weight was up .6 this morning (don't know why, but I know I didn't overeat yesterday). Had another OP day today. I'm very tired and actually planning to go to bed shortly. Tomorrow is one of my 16-hour, eat-in-the-car, days. I am definitely not looking forward to it, with a toothache. :(

Report: forgot to weigh, but got up and did a yoga class with Jane this morning. She wanted to try a 6am yoga class, and I went with her instead of to my normal class. It was good, and she ended up feeling energized even though she'd had an hour less sleep than she normally would. I'm going to go to the 9:00 session of my regular class, which Giselle teaches. Ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully.

Hope your day was better than expected!

4EverLearning
02-27-2012, 10:16 PM
Interesting! I don't think I've ever heard that WW items are low-glycemic, so maybe they aren't!

The same thing happened this morning! I have a NS BBB on the way, and I am looking forward to having those breakfasts back. The desserts? Not so much. I'm a little afraid of having those around! I used to be able to handle those. :(

It was actually very cool learning how to start with a whole fish and end up with filets. We learned to do both a "round fish" (like a red snapper) and a "flat fish" (like grouper.) The benefit to starting with a whole fish is that you can tell by looking at a whole fish that it's fresh and hasn't been frozen. So it's basically a way of getting the freshest fish possible, which here in Ohio isn't easy.

Well, you're certainly right about getting fresh fish here, and I absolutely adore fresh fish. But I can't see myself butchering one, no matter what! When I was in China, the restaurants would generally have live fish swimming in tanks. You could pick out the fish you wanted to eat. It would then be brought to your table before being cooked, and the waiter would let you write something on it with oil. Then when the cooked fish was brought back to you, you could see the words you wrote cooked into the fish, so you knew it was the same fish--and definitely fresh! It wasn't butchered, though. The fish was cooked and served whole. Ugh.



Report: forgot to weigh, but got up and did a yoga class with Jane this morning. She wanted to try a 6am yoga class, and I went with her instead of to my normal class. It was good, and she ended up feeling energized even though she'd had an hour less sleep than she normally would. I'm going to go to the 9:00 session of my regular class, which Giselle teaches. Ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully.

Do you and Jane exercise together on a regular basis? Or is this something new? I think it's awesome. Has she recovered from the mono?

Hope your day was better than expected!

It was, actually! My meeting at the main campus was over in an hour, as opposed to the normal four hours. Works for me!! My weight was up .2. Did not have to eat in the car after all, which was nice. Stayed OP all day, ate slowly and mindfully. I'm still tired, though, and my tooth is still hurting, so I'm off to bed. Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
02-28-2012, 11:14 PM
Hope you are OK!

I had a good eating day (perfectly OP) and have had for several days in a row now, but my weight was still up .4 this morning :(. I had the most strenuous personal training session today EVER. The trainer had me in continuous motion, from treadmill to machine to machine to treadmill with no resting whatsoever. The last thing he had me do, after 50 minutes of constant, rapid motion was to run a full mile uphill at 6.5mph. Previously I'd never run more than 90 consecutive seconds, so I was amazed that I could do a full mile, especially at the end of the hour! It was a struggle, though, and I was sweating like crazy and panting so much that I couldn't talk. It just so happened that a former student was on the treadmill alongside mine, and she ran with me to help me keep the pace and kept encouraging me, while my trainer was cheering. My pulse was close to 240 after all that. Yikes. I REALLY wish I had been wearing my Exerspy, because I would love to know how many calories I burned! HAD to be a record.

I made an appointment to start counseling on 3/9. My old therapist was actually very happy to hear from me, and we had a good conversation. I also made an appointment to have my tooth extracted on 3/16--and I had to BEG to get the appointment that soon. I am hoping the pain will abate once the antibiotics do their job.

Hope you had a good day and that all is well!

va1erie
02-29-2012, 07:29 AM
The same thing happened this morning! I have a NS BBB on the way, and I am looking forward to having those breakfasts back. The desserts? Not so much. I'm a little afraid of having those around! I used to be able to handle those. :( I suspect you still can in any circumstance other than this particular one. And I have ZERO question that you can get past this, too. You were really sort of blindsided by this. A romantic relationship is something you haven't given a lot of thought to in years, and your feelings about it are all tied in with your weight, your weightloss, and food, plus lots of other emotional stuff on top of those things. It's not surprising that it would be THIS issue that is causing this problem. It doesn't mean you now can't handle the NS desserts when you used to be able to even when you had trauma in your life. It means THIS ISSUE is a biggie, and you need to work on it.

Well, you're certainly right about getting fresh fish here, and I absolutely adore fresh fish. But I can't see myself butchering one, no matter what! It's actually surprisingly not that hard! This class was specifically aimed at people who had some cooking experience -- already have basic knife skills, etc. -- and pretty much everyone in the class managed to cut pretty good filets. When I was in China, the restaurants would generally have live fish swimming in tanks. You could pick out the fish you wanted to eat. It would then be brought to your table before being cooked, and the waiter would let you write something on it with oil. Then when the cooked fish was brought back to you, you could see the words you wrote cooked into the fish, so you knew it was the same fish--and definitely fresh! It wasn't butchered, though. The fish was cooked and served whole. Ugh. I'm too paranoid about bones, and what I've found when I try to eat a whole fish -- or even if I find a single bone in a filet -- is that I start combing through the fish with my fork, basically turning it into minced fish. Ruins the fish for me. I love this because I can go over my filet with a fine-toothed comb (a pair of needlenose pliers, actually) and get out EVERY BONE before cooking it. (Wednesday morning 7:31) EEEK! Just found this sitting waiting to be submitted! I'm sorry! I must have been working on it and gotten distracted and never got back online!

Do you and Jane exercise together on a regular basis? Or is this something new? I think it's awesome. Has she recovered from the mono? We've never exercised together, so this was very cool that she wanted to. I would love to get into a routine of exercising together.

It was, actually! My meeting at the main campus was over in an hour, as opposed to the normal four hours. Works for me!! Whoa, that's unheard of in my experience! God, the number of meetings I've sat through that either went longer than planned or the final twenty minutes was a race through the agenda. The person running that meeting must be good. My weight was up .2. Did not have to eat in the car after all, which was nice. Stayed OP all day, ate slowly and mindfully. I'm still tired, though, and my tooth is still hurting, so I'm off to bed. Hope you had a great day! Sorry your tooth is still hurting, but glad it was a pretty good day anyway.

From your Tuesday night post: I had a good eating day (perfectly OP) and have had for several days in a row now, but my weight was still up .4 this morning . I had the most strenuous personal training session today EVER. The trainer had me in continuous motion, from treadmill to machine to machine to treadmill with no resting whatsoever. The last thing he had me do, after 50 minutes of constant, rapid motion was to run a full mile uphill at 6.5mph. Wow! Previously I'd never run more than 90 consecutive seconds, so I was amazed that I could do a full mile, especially at the end of the hour! I'm telling you...he's going to have you do a 5K run by the end of the summer. It was a struggle, though, and I was sweating like crazy and panting so much that I couldn't talk. It just so happened that a former student was on the treadmill alongside mine, and she ran with me to help me keep the pace and kept encouraging me, while my trainer was cheering. My pulse was close to 240 after all that. Yikes. I REALLY wish I had been wearing my Exerspy, because I would love to know how many calories I burned! HAD to be a record. Oh, me too! You don't always wear it to work out?

I made an appointment to start counseling on 3/9. My old therapist was actually very happy to hear from me, and we had a good conversation. Very cool. Good for you for dealing with this. I also made an appointment to have my tooth extracted on 3/16--and I had to BEG to get the appointment that soon. I am hoping the pain will abate once the antibiotics do their job. Can't they give you anything for the pain until then? At least to take at night so you'd be able to sleep?

Report: weighed (1.8 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite, went to my WW meeting yesterday and to class this morning, sorry about missing contacting my diet buddy yesterday. Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
02-29-2012, 11:04 PM
I suspect you still can in any circumstance other than this particular one. And I have ZERO question that you can get past this, too. You were really sort of blindsided by this. A romantic relationship is something you haven't given a lot of thought to in years, and your feelings about it are all tied in with your weight, your weightloss, and food, plus lots of other emotional stuff on top of those things. It's not surprising that it would be THIS issue that is causing this problem. It doesn't mean you now can't handle the NS desserts when you used to be able to even when you had trauma in your life. It means THIS ISSUE is a biggie, and you need to work on it.

Intellectually, I know you are probably right. But, emotionally, I fear that you are wrong. Obviously I need to keep countering those sabotaging thoughts with more helpful and rational ones. The relationship issue is indeed a biggie, the biggest of the biggest of the biggies, and I need to deal with it so that my fears of regaining my protective barrier of fat won't come true. I think that, until very recently, I saw the possibility of a relationship as so utterly foreign and impossible that I essentially made it a non-issue. Then I had to go and ruin it by getting so healthy and happy that I dared to consider the possibility of "having it all".....and then I panicked at my own audacity.

It's actually surprisingly not that hard! This class was specifically aimed at people who had some cooking experience -- already have basic knife skills, etc. -- and pretty much everyone in the class managed to cut pretty good filets. I'm too paranoid about bones, and what I've found when I try to eat a whole fish -- or even if I find a single bone in a filet -- is that I start combing through the fish with my fork, basically turning it into minced fish. Ruins the fish for me. I love this because I can go over my filet with a fine-toothed comb (a pair of needlenose pliers, actually) and get out EVERY BONE before cooking it.

I'm totally with you on the bones. In China, in my efforts to find every teensy sliver of bone, I picked at my fish until there was nothing to eat except a few shreds. So more power to you!



We've never exercised together, so this was very cool that she wanted to. I would love to get into a routine of exercising together.

VERY cool. I think exercising together would be wonderful for both of you, on numerous levels. I often think it would be fun to have a friend to exercise with.

Whoa, that's unheard of in my experience! God, the number of meetings I've sat through that either went longer than planned or the final twenty minutes was a race through the agenda. The person running that meeting must be good.

Nope, he's not particularly good. He's an administrator who has been fired and is in his last week of work, and he just isn't invested enough to care at this point. So he just barreled through the agenda. I didn't mind, though!

I'm telling you...he's going to have you do a 5K run by the end of the summer. Oh, me too! You don't always wear it to work out?

Yeah, sure, right after I find a cure for cancer and negotiate world peace!:D

I normally do wear my Exerspy when I go to the gym, but sometimes I just barely have time to change from my school clothes to workout clothes and just can't deal with the Exerspy.

Can't they give you anything for the pain until then? At least to take at night so you'd be able to sleep?

The pain is only in my gums, not my tooth, since the tooth has had a root canal. And at the moment the gum pain isn't too bad, because the antibiotic is working.

Report: weighed (1.8 under goal), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite, went to my WW meeting yesterday and to class this morning, sorry about missing contacting my diet buddy yesterday. Hope you had a great day!

Your weight has been steady for quite a few days in a row now--YAY! Don't worry about missing your post. Stuff happens.

My weight was unchanged this morning. This was another 16-hour, eat-in-the-car, day. (Unfortunately, this time the meeting really was 4 hours!) No exercise. Stayed OP all day. My BBB arrived, and I ate ONE dessert tonight. YAY! Off to bed for me. Tomorrow is one of my early days. I have happy hour to look forward to tomorrow evening, and then Friday morning I am leaving for upstate NY to stay with a friend for the weekend and attend a Longaberger event.

Hope you had a terrific day!

va1erie
03-01-2012, 09:17 AM
Intellectually, I know you are probably right. But, emotionally, I fear that you are wrong. Obviously I need to keep countering those sabotaging thoughts with more helpful and rational ones. Yes, you do. What sabotaging thoughts are you having, exactly? Can you put them into words so that we can brainstorm a few countering helpful responses? We can use the CBT strategies for this just like we used them for the actual weightloss. The skills are transferable. The relationship issue is indeed a biggie, the biggest of the biggest of the biggies, and I need to deal with it so that my fears of regaining my protective barrier of fat won't come true. I think that, until very recently, I saw the possibility of a relationship as so utterly foreign and impossible that I essentially made it a non-issue. Then I had to go and ruin it by getting so healthy and happy that I dared to consider the possibility of "having it all".....and then I panicked at my own audacity. I'm smiling at the word audacity. Not because I want to trivialize your fears! But I know you know it's not audacious to want what every human being wants -- a deep and lasting connection to one other person, one person in the world that you can say anything to and they'll be interested, someone to come home to. There's nothing greedy about wanting that in addition to the other good things you've already gotten from all your hard work.

I'm totally with you on the bones. In China, in my efforts to find every teensy sliver of bone, I picked at my fish until there was nothing to eat except a few shreds. That's the word I was looking for instead of minced. Shredded. Fish should be eaten in nice bite-sized flakes, not shreds.

VERY cool. I think exercising together would be wonderful for both of you, on numerous levels. I often think it would be fun to have a friend to exercise with. [/quotes] For me it's one of the best things about exercise classes! You see the same people regularly, and they miss you when you aren't there. That helps me keep up my motivation.

[quote]Nope, he's not particularly good. He's an administrator who has been fired and is in his last week of work, and he just isn't invested enough to care at this point. So he just barreled through the agenda. I didn't mind, though! Ah! Well, maybe the person who takes over the meeting from here on will make them shorter in a positive way.

Your weight has been steady for quite a few days in a row now--YAY! But unfortunately up today to .8 below goal. I deserved it, though, had Thai last night because I didn't feel like cooking.

My weight was unchanged this morning. This was another 16-hour, eat-in-the-car, day. (Unfortunately, this time the meeting really was 4 hours!) No exercise. Stayed OP all day. My BBB arrived, and I ate ONE dessert tonight. YAY! Yay, you! Off to bed for me. Tomorrow is one of my early days. I have happy hour to look forward to tomorrow evening, and then Friday morning I am leaving for upstate NY to stay with a friend for the weekend and attend a Longaberger event. Nice! What kind of Longaberger event?

Report: weighed, ate reasonably except for dinner, attended class yesterday but no spontaneous exercise, contacted my diet buddy! Hope you have a great time at happy hour!

4EverLearning
03-01-2012, 11:39 PM
Yes, you do. What sabotaging thoughts are you having, exactly? Can you put them into words so that we can brainstorm a few countering helpful responses? We can use the CBT strategies for this just like we used them for the actual weightloss. The skills are transferable. I'm smiling at the word audacity. Not because I want to trivialize your fears! But I know you know it's not audacious to want what every human being wants -- a deep and lasting connection to one other person, one person in the world that you can say anything to and they'll be interested, someone to come home to. There's nothing greedy about wanting that in addition to the other good things you've already gotten from all your hard work.

I would be happy to brainstorm that when I have a little more time and am not half drunk (had two glasses of wine at happy hour, and I am a very cheap date these days!). But you have brought tears to my eyes with what you said about someone to come home to. You get it.

That's the word I was looking for instead of minced. Shredded. Fish should be eaten in nice bite-sized flakes, not shreds.

[quote]VERY cool. I think exercising together would be wonderful for both of you, on numerous levels. I often think it would be fun to have a friend to exercise with. [/quotes]
For me it's one of the best things about exercise classes! You see the same people regularly, and they miss you when you aren't there. That helps me keep up my motivation.

Hmmm, I hadn't thought about an exercise class in terms of consistent companionship. But that is a very good point and a great reason to go to a class.

Ah! Well, maybe the person who takes over the meeting from here on will make them shorter in a positive way.

I can only hope!

But unfortunately up today to .8 below goal. I deserved it, though, had Thai last night because I didn't feel like cooking.

I would think that Thai food would be relatively healthy?

What kind of Longaberger event?

Our team (consisting of about 20 people) is having a sale of retired Longaberger products, where we each set up a table. (My friend and I are going to share a table.) There are also games and door prizes. These events are a lot of fun.

Report: weighed, ate reasonably except for dinner, attended class yesterday but no spontaneous exercise, contacted my diet buddy! Hope you have a great time at happy hour!

Overall a good day!

My weight was down .6, stayed OP until the two drinks at happy hour (but didn't overeat), had a personal training session, contacted my diet buddy.

I am not going to take my computer with me over the weekend and am reluctant to use my friend's computer to post here (considering what happened after I used Bethy's computer), so will not be able to report in tomorrow or Saturday.

Also, when I got home tonight, I had a phone message from my eharmony match asking me to go on a roadtrip with him TOMORROW. It was too late to call him so I had to email to tell him (or remind him, since I had previously told him) that I was busy this weekend. HUH? I don't get it.

Hope you had a great day! Talk to you Sunday night.

va1erie
03-02-2012, 08:23 AM
I would be happy to brainstorm that when I have a little more time and am not half drunk (had two glasses of wine at happy hour, and I am a very cheap date these days!). But you have brought tears to my eyes with what you said about someone to come home to. You get it. :)

Hmmm, I hadn't thought about an exercise class in terms of consistent companionship. But that is a very good point and a great reason to go to a class. For me it sure is! It's what gets me out of bed at 4:45! :)

I would think that Thai food would be relatively healthy? It can be! But I didn't order as reasonably as I should have, and I could have done better restricting my portion, too.

My weight was down .6, stayed OP until the two drinks at happy hour (but didn't overeat), had a personal training session, contacted my diet buddy. So a good day for you!

I am not going to take my computer with me over the weekend and am reluctant to use my friend's computer to post here (considering what happened after I used Bethy's computer), so will not be able to report in tomorrow or Saturday. So I guess you won't see this until Sunday night -- I'll just keep adding to this post each morning so you'll only have one to respond to when you get home. Hope you enjoyed your trip!

Also, when I got home tonight, I had a phone message from my eharmony match asking me to go on a roadtrip with him TOMORROW. It was too late to call him so I had to email to tell him (or remind him, since I had previously told him) that I was busy this weekend. HUH? I don't get it. So he wants to be just friends, but he wants you to take a road trip with him? This is really odd. And talk about a last-minute date! LOL! He must be having some sort of strange mixed feelings going on.

4EverLearning
03-02-2012, 09:53 AM
I decided to take my computer after all, so will check in tonight as normal TTYL

va1erie
03-03-2012, 09:06 AM
I decided to take my computer after all, so will check in tonight as normal TTYL

Cool! Hope you had an easy safe trip!

Report: weighed (down to 2.4 under goal, yay!), ate very low -- bars for breakfast and lunch, lump crab with cocktail sauce for dinner, a couple glasses of wine but NO wine-induced snackfest. Didn't leave a bite but since I was eating so low it wasn't an omission but part of my plan. Michael's home for spring break and today's my dad's birthday, so I'm making a company dinner and planning a pretty diet-unfriendly meal (grilled cheese, chili, potato soup, and chocolate bread pudding) in an attempt to please all the different palates so I'll focus on portion control. Then tomorrow we're going out to brunch with my sister and her family, so I'll likely have to focus on portion control then, too, though there may be some diet-friendly choices I can take advantage of.

Hope you're having a great time with your Longaberger friends!

(Sunday morning) Looks like maybe you didn't take your laptop after all -- hope you're having a great time! Report: weighed (2.4 under goal), ate VERY CAREFULLY and totally went for portion size. Had a bar for breakfast and lunch, then had half a grilled-cheese sandwich, a small bowl of potato-corn chowder, and really just a few bites of chocolate bread pudding for desert. Left more than a bite of just about everything. Today's another challenging day -- brunch with my dad/his girlfriend and my sis/her family, and then tonight we're supposed to go to my niece-in-law Heather's for a special Molly (my other niece-in-law) And Michael Are Home So We Eat Grandma's Spaghetti dinner. I actually may skip this, though, as Jane needs to study and can't go and I might stay home with her.

TTYS!

4EverLearning
03-05-2012, 12:54 AM
Cool!

I did take my laptop, only to discover that my friend lives in a dead zone, so neither my phone nor my computer worked. I'll remember not to bother to take it with me next time I visit her.

Report: weighed (down to 2.4 under goal, yay!), ate very low -- bars for breakfast and lunch, lump crab with cocktail sauce for dinner, a couple glasses of wine but NO wine-induced snackfest. Didn't leave a bite but since I was eating so low it wasn't an omission but part of my plan.

YAY for the lower weight, for the low-cal day, and especially for drinking wine without following it up with a snackfest! WOO HOO!

Michael's home for spring break and today's my dad's birthday, so I'm making a company dinner and planning a pretty diet-unfriendly meal (grilled cheese, chili, potato soup, and chocolate bread pudding) in an attempt to please all the different palates so I'll focus on portion control. Then tomorrow we're going out to brunch with my sister and her family, so I'll likely have to focus on portion control then, too, though there may be some diet-friendly choices I can take advantage of.

Two very good reasons to celebrate. Your planned meal sounds delicious (it all sounds like "comfort food"), if not exactly diet-friendly. But you are really good at watching your portion sizes in situations like that.

Hope you're having a great time with your Longaberger friends!

Yes, I had a really good time, and it was a good distraction from thinking about the trip-that-could-have-been this weekend. It was exactly what I needed!

(Sunday morning) Looks like maybe you didn't take your laptop after all -- hope you're having a great time! Report: weighed (2.4 under goal), ate VERY CAREFULLY and totally went for portion size. Had a bar for breakfast and lunch, then had half a grilled-cheese sandwich, a small bowl of potato-corn chowder, and really just a few bites of chocolate bread pudding for desert. Left more than a bite of just about everything. Today's another challenging day -- brunch with my dad/his girlfriend and my sis/her family, and then tonight we're supposed to go to my niece-in-law Heather's for a special Molly (my other niece-in-law) And Michael Are Home So We Eat Grandma's Spaghetti dinner. I actually may skip this, though, as Jane needs to study and can't go and I might stay home with her.

YAY YOU for eating such reasonable portion sizes (I knew you could do it)! Did you go to that spaghetti dinner, or did you stay home with Jane?

Like I said, I had a really nice weekend, and I did well with my eating until today. The drive home gave me way too much time to think about all of the issues that would have arisen had I taken that other trip. Although I had stopped on the road for dinner and wasn't hungry when I got home, I had a dessert-fest anyway. I feel disgusted with myself. I had a bunch of grading to do, I have to get up at 6AM, I have a long day tomorrow, and it's already almost 1AM. But I am going to write out a plan for what I will eat tomorrow. I haven't actually written one out in quite some time. Time to go back to al of the basics again :(. Good thing I have that counseling appointment coming up. My tooth is really bugging me, too, so tomorrow is going to be a long day on limited sleep. Blech.

Hope your day was better than mine!

va1erie
03-05-2012, 07:57 AM
I did take my laptop, only to discover that my friend lives in a dead zone, so neither my phone nor my computer worked. I'll remember not to bother to take it with me next time I visit her. Wait, she can't use a computer at home at all? Wow! That's, like, Amish. :D

YAY for the lower weight, for the low-cal day, and especially for drinking wine without following it up with a snackfest! WOO HOO! Yep, I was happy.

Two very good reasons to celebrate. Your planned meal sounds delicious (it all sounds like "comfort food"), if not exactly diet-friendly. But you are really good at watching your portion sizes in situations like that. It was chosen for ability to prep-ahead, ease of serving to a group for a sit-down meal, and the fact that since most of the prep was completed hours before serving time I'd be able to finish serving and just need to load the dishwasher to wake up to a clean kitchen, but it definitely was a comfort food fest.

Yes, I had a really good time, and it was a good distraction from thinking about the trip-that-could-have-been this weekend. It was exactly what I needed! Glad it was a good trip!

YAY YOU for eating such reasonable portion sizes (I knew you could do it)! Did you go to that spaghetti dinner, or did you stay home with Jane? I ended up staying home, as Jane enjoys having company while she works. The brunch was nice -- I didn't eat too badly, though I didn't make the ideal choice -- and I was glad not to have another heavyish meal in one day.

Like I said, I had a really nice weekend, and I did well with my eating until today. The drive home gave me way too much time to think about all of the issues that would have arisen had I taken that other trip. Although I had stopped on the road for dinner and wasn't hungry when I got home, I had a dessert-fest anyway. Wait, I thought you didn't have any desserts left? I feel disgusted with myself. You're taking steps to deal with this problem. The fact you haven't been able to deal with it yet is not a reason to feel disgusted. It's a reason to feel proud of yourself for recognizing that you need to deal with it and for putting the process in motion. I had a bunch of grading to do, I have to get up at 6AM, I have a long day tomorrow, and it's already almost 1AM. But I am going to write out a plan for what I will eat tomorrow. I haven't actually written one out in quite some time. Time to go back to al of the basics again :(. Good thing I have that counseling appointment coming up. My tooth is really bugging me, too, so tomorrow is going to be a long day on limited sleep. Blech. Blech indeed. I hope Monday turns out better than expected!

Report: weighed (holding steady at 2.4 under goal), ate reasonably well, got up and went to class this morning, though I didn't walk because it's icy here. Contacted my diet buddy.

4EverLearning
03-05-2012, 10:29 PM
Wait, she can't use a computer at home at all? Wow! That's, like, Amish. :D

No, her computer works fine (via cable modem)! In fact, her husband is a retired engineer, and they probably have five or six computers in their house. But mine has a thingie that connects to the internet through Sprint (can't think of what it's called). I could have used my friend's computer, but, like I said, I'm very reluctant to do that after what happened when I used Bethy's.



Yep, I was happy.

As you should be!

It was chosen for ability to prep-ahead, ease of serving to a group for a sit-down meal, and the fact that since most of the prep was completed hours before serving time I'd be able to finish serving and just need to load the dishwasher to wake up to a clean kitchen, but it definitely was a comfort food fest.

You say that like comfort food is a bad thing! :)


I ended up staying home, as Jane enjoys having company while she works. The brunch was nice -- I didn't eat too badly, though I didn't make the ideal choice -- and I was glad not to have another heavyish meal in one day.

Do you ever feel that sometimes going to a social event just isn't worth dealing with the food issues you will face there? I do.

Wait, I thought you didn't have any desserts left?

I didn't, but I got a new BBB last week.

You're taking steps to deal with this problem. The fact you haven't been able to deal with it yet is not a reason to feel disgusted. It's a reason to feel proud of yourself for recognizing that you need to deal with it and for putting the process in motion.

Yeah, I suppose you're right, but right now I have limited faith in my ability to deal with it. And I know it will take time to deal with--and in the meantime I could gain a lot of weight. But I am willing to do whatever I need to do to get a grip on this once and for all.

Blech indeed. I hope Monday turns out better than expected!

I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, so it was not a stellar day work-wise. But I followed my eating plan exactly, drank LOTS of water, read my cards, and already wrote out a plan for tomorrow. So I am feeling a little better now than I did last night, at least in terms of eating. I am sure I will feel better still after I get a good night's sleep!

Report: weighed (holding steady at 2.4 under goal), ate reasonably well, got up and went to class this morning, though I didn't walk because it's icy here. Contacted my diet buddy.

The weather is crappy here, too. YAY for holding steady at a low weight. How many weeks until your vacation?

My weight was up 3 whole pounds this morning (compared to last Friday). I wasn't surprised (ate some higher calorie meals over the weekend in addition to the dessertfest last night), but it does amaze me that I can gain so quickly. It's scary. I had to give myself a stern talking-to to get myself on the scale this morning, so YAY ME for that!

Hope you had another good day! I'm off to bed now, very early for me.

va1erie
03-06-2012, 08:16 AM
I could have used my friend's computer, but, like I said, I'm very reluctant to do that after what happened when I used Bethy's. I don't blame you! I wouldn't want to either after that experience!

You say that like comfort food is a bad thing! :) Why do all the comfort foods have to be high calorie?

Do you ever feel that sometimes going to a social event just isn't worth dealing with the food issues you will face there? I do. Yeah, sometimes. I knew for instance that this was going to be an exceptionally high-cal, high-carb dinner. I'd have liked to have seen Molly, but I was just as glad to have an excuse to let John and Michael go without me.

Yeah, I suppose you're right, but right now I have limited faith in my ability to deal with it. And I know it will take time to deal with--and in the meantime I could gain a lot of weight. But I am willing to do whatever I need to do to get a grip on this once and for all. To me, that's the important part of the equation: you're willing to deal with it. You don't have to deal with it perfectly. You just have to be willing to keep working at it. Showing up for the fight is half the battle.

I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, so it was not a stellar day work-wise. But I followed my eating plan exactly, drank LOTS of water, read my cards, and already wrote out a plan for tomorrow. So I am feeling a little better now than I did last night, at least in terms of eating. I am sure I will feel better still after I get a good night's sleep! Yay, you, for sticking with your plan even when you'd had a crappy night's sleep!

The weather is crappy here, too. YAY for holding steady at a low weight. How many weeks until your vacation? About 2 1/2 weeks. I'm going to press for a low day today, which should be easy-ish because I'm having a minor mouth surgery (to remove a mucocele on my inner lip) and doubt I'll feel like eating much until it heals. I'm surely not going to want anything spicy, salty, or requiring much chewing, at any rate! Probably won't want wine anywhere near the incision, either. It would be fantastic to lose a pound over this. :)

My weight was up 3 whole pounds this morning (compared to last Friday). I wasn't surprised (ate some higher calorie meals over the weekend in addition to the dessertfest last night), but it does amaze me that I can gain so quickly. It's scary. I had to give myself a stern talking-to to get myself on the scale this morning, so YAY ME for that! But you did! Yay, you! I SO know that feeling of not wanting to get on the scale when you suspect there's going to be bad news, and I SO know that it's the one thing I SHOULD do at that point! The one good thing about having a gain from a few days of higher-calorie-than-normal eating is that it gives you the opportunity to show yourself again that you can indeed recover from a gain, and that such gains are usually at least part not really gains of -fat-. I think that's a good lesson to learn several times.

Report: weighed (still 2.4 under goal), won't be exercising today and may not feel like it tomorrow though I'm planning to set my alarm tomorrow morning for class and at least getting up and getting dressed to give it the best possible shot. Ate reasonably all day even though I had a couple glasses of wine last night.

Hope you had a better night's sleep!

4EverLearning
03-07-2012, 12:00 AM
Why do all the comfort foods have to be high calorie?

I'm going to treat that as the rhetorical question I think you meant it to be, rather than going into an explanation about evolutionary adaptations!! ;)

Yeah, sometimes. I knew for instance that this was going to be an exceptionally high-cal, high-carb dinner. I'd have liked to have seen Molly, but I was just as glad to have an excuse to let John and Michael go without me.

Makes perfect sense to me! But I was curious if you would ever feel that way, since you are so much more social than I am.

To me, that's the important part of the equation: you're willing to deal with it. You don't have to deal with it perfectly. You just have to be willing to keep working at it. Showing up for the fight is half the battle.

Yes, I'm definitely willing, and I'll bring the same commitment and dedication to this that I did to the weight loss in the first place. I had a flash of insight today. I was thinking that I "feel fat" and therefore don't want to see my match this coming weekend (not that we have any plans to get together; we don't). The insight was that part of my motivation for overeating lately has been to INSURE that I don't feel like seeing him; if I don't see him, I don't have to deal with all the issues and fears that would then arise.

Yay, you, for sticking with your plan even when you'd had a crappy night's sleep!

Indeed! I was very motivated.

About 2 1/2 weeks. I'm going to press for a low day today, which should be easy-ish because I'm having a minor mouth surgery (to remove a mucocele on my inner lip) and doubt I'll feel like eating much until it heals. I'm surely not going to want anything spicy, salty, or requiring much chewing, at any rate! Probably won't want wine anywhere near the incision, either. It would be fantastic to lose a pound over this. :)

There's a silver lining in every cloud!! OUCH, though. Oral surgery, even minor, hurts. But it sounds like you've got a good shot at getting your weight where you want it before your trip. I'm going to follow that same strategy by trying to get to 126-127 before I go to the Grand Canyon at the end of May. That would give me a few pounds of leeway for the trip.

But you did! Yay, you! I SO know that feeling of not wanting to get on the scale when you suspect there's going to be bad news, and I SO know that it's the one thing I SHOULD do at that point! The one good thing about having a gain from a few days of higher-calorie-than-normal eating is that it gives you the opportunity to show yourself again that you can indeed recover from a gain, and that such gains are usually at least part not really gains of -fat-. I think that's a good lesson to learn several times.

I think I'm destined to have multiple opportunities to learn that lesson :(. But I definitely do agree with you.

Report: weighed (still 2.4 under goal), won't be exercising today and may not feel like it tomorrow though I'm planning to set my alarm tomorrow morning for class and at least getting up and getting dressed to give it the best possible shot. Ate reasonably all day even though I had a couple glasses of wine last night.

So your surgery is tomorrow? Hope it goes well. YAY YOU for not overeating after drinking wine! You seem to be getting better at that lately.

Hope you had a better night's sleep!

I did. Then I spent 9 hours grading statistics homeworks and tests today (can you say TEDIUM?), on top of teaching my classes and having a personal training session. So I am exhausted again!

My weight was down a pound this morning (supporting what you said about some of the gain not being "real"). Followed my written plan exactly. Had a personal training session. Read my cards. Made it a point to eat extra slowly and mindfully.

Good luck tomorrow!

va1erie
03-07-2012, 10:16 AM
Yes, I'm definitely willing, and I'll bring the same commitment and dedication to this that I did to the weight loss in the first place. I had a flash of insight today. I was thinking that I "feel fat" and therefore don't want to see my match this coming weekend (not that we have any plans to get together; we don't). The insight was that part of my motivation for overeating lately has been to INSURE that I don't feel like seeing him; if I don't see him, I don't have to deal with all the issues and fears that would then arise. Very good insight!

There's a silver lining in every cloud!! OUCH, though. Oral surgery, even minor, hurts. But it sounds like you've got a good shot at getting your weight where you want it before your trip. I'm going to follow that same strategy by trying to get to 126-127 before I go to the Grand Canyon at the end of May. That would give me a few pounds of leeway for the trip. I can't believe it's already close to the time for your trip! One of the nice things about having some leeway is that you'll be more relaxed and possibly able to demonstrate to your bear friends that you aren't 'obsessed' with your weight. And of course they'll be able to see that you haven't continued to lose weight, which will help.

So your surgery is tomorrow? Hope it goes well. It was yesterday -- went very quickly. He was running a few minutes ahead and finished two minutes before he was scheduled to begin. :)

I did. Then I spent 9 hours grading statistics homeworks and tests today (can you say TEDIUM?), on top of teaching my classes and having a personal training session. So I am exhausted again! Ugh!

My weight was down a pound this morning (supporting what you said about some of the gain not being "real"). Followed my written plan exactly. Had a personal training session. Read my cards. Made it a point to eat extra slowly and mindfully. Yay, you!

Report: Hardly ate anything yesterday because the stitches are a hassled. Did drink some wine -- carefully <g> -- but because of the stitches I wasn't even tempted to have a snackfest. Down a pound this morning to 3.4 under goal, yay! Didn't get up for class -- when the alarm went off, I just was feeling the stiches so much that I knew I wasn't going to want to exercise vigorously, get out of breath, possibly accidentally bite my lip where the stitches are. So I didn't even get up and put on my clothes -- just turned over and went back to sleep, which I needed. The stitches are supposed to dissolve on their own, so I'm hoping by Friday morning they're feeling less stiff. If not, I probably won't go Friday either. I'm wondering if I should get on the treadmill today at least. Hm. Maybe I'll at least put on my exercise clothes after all and give it a chance.

EDIT: Okay, I'm dressed for exercise down to my shoes, the key element -- I won't let myself take them off until I get on the treadmill.

Hope you had a great day!

(Thursday) Hope everything's okay!

Report: weighed (no change, 3.4 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully. Stitches still hurting. I did get on the treadmill for 35 minutes yesterday, yay me!

4EverLearning
03-08-2012, 11:56 PM
I had a long post typed out and then when I hit submit, it said I wasn't logged in. GRRRRR. I'm only going to try this one more time.

Very good insight!

For what that's worth. Insight isn't all it's cracked up to be; sometimes it just helps you understand why you're screwed up but still leaves you screwed up. :(

I can't believe it's already close to the time for your trip! One of the nice things about having some leeway is that you'll be more relaxed and possibly able to demonstrate to your bear friends that you aren't 'obsessed' with your weight. And of course they'll be able to see that you haven't continued to lose weight, which will help.

That's definitely the plan! Right now I feel like I'll probably have gained 30 pounds by then, so I won't have to worry about my friends' reaction. :(

It was yesterday -- went very quickly. He was running a few minutes ahead and finished two minutes before he was scheduled to begin. :)

Kinda like when you fly west across time zones and arrive earlier than you left!! But in your case, this is definitely a good thing!



Report: Hardly ate anything yesterday because the stitches are a hassled. Did drink some wine -- carefully <g> -- but because of the stitches I wasn't even tempted to have a snackfest. Down a pound this morning to 3.4 under goal, yay! Didn't get up for class -- when the alarm went off, I just was feeling the stiches so much that I knew I wasn't going to want to exercise vigorously, get out of breath, possibly accidentally bite my lip where the stitches are. So I didn't even get up and put on my clothes -- just turned over and went back to sleep, which I needed. The stitches are supposed to dissolve on their own, so I'm hoping by Friday morning they're feeling less stiff. If not, I probably won't go Friday either. I'm wondering if I should get on the treadmill today at least. Hm. Maybe I'll at least put on my exercise clothes after all and give it a chance.

Yay on the pound down--you got what you wanted! I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to go to exercise class with stitches in your mouth.

EDIT: Okay, I'm dressed for exercise down to my shoes, the key element -- I won't let myself take them off until I get on the treadmill.

GOOD JOB!



(Thursday) Hope everything's okay!

Last night I fell asleep on the couch and never did make it to my bed. I had nightmares all night. Fortunately I woke up in time to go to class, but just barely. It didn't help that my cat threw up right as I was about to leave. It was a bad start to a bad day.

Report: weighed (no change, 3.4 under goal), ate reasonably, slowly, mindfully. Stitches still hurting. I did get on the treadmill for 35 minutes yesterday, yay me!

YAY YOU all the way around!

My weight was down 1.6 yesterday (no idea why). I didn't weigh this morning in my frantic rush to get to school on time. Today was my very worst eating day in years. I easily consumed several thousand extra calories. I am not going to weigh in the morning. There's no point. I know what it will say, and I know what I need to do, so the information would not help me. I am just feeling desperate, overwhelmed, and hopeless. I have my first therapy session tomorrow, and I know she will be able to help me get a better attitude. I know I can deal with this, that I HAVE to deal with it if I have any hope of maintaining my weight. And I am willing to do whatever I need to do. I feel so sick and bloated right now, and I have terrible heartburn, which reminds me of the years I spent with continual gastric reflux and esophageal ulcers. Blech.

I need to get to sleep, if I CAN sleep, feeling so stuffed. I have to get up early to get my car serviced, then go for my consultation with the oral surgeon who will extract my tooth next Friday, then see my old therapist. Tomorrow WILL be a better day. OK, hopefully this will post!

va1erie
03-09-2012, 05:53 AM
For what that's worth. Insight isn't all it's cracked up to be; sometimes it just helps you understand why you're screwed up but still leaves you screwed up. But it's still a crucial step.

That's definitely the plan! Right now I feel like I'll probably have gained 30 pounds by then, so I won't have to worry about my friends' reaction. Oh, dear.

Last night I fell asleep on the couch and never did make it to my bed. I had nightmares all night. Fortunately I woke up in time to go to class, but just barely. It didn't help that my cat threw up right as I was about to leave. It was a bad start to a bad day. :(

My weight was down 1.6 yesterday (no idea why). I didn't weigh this morning in my frantic rush to get to school on time. Today was my very worst eating day in years. I easily consumed several thousand extra calories. I am not going to weigh in the morning. There's no point. I know what it will say, and I know what I need to do, so the information would not help me. Ok. But we should talk about this. I am just feeling desperate, overwhelmed, and hopeless. I have my first therapy session tomorrow, So why the bad eating day? You've had many, many good ones interspersed with these occasional bad ones, and you'd actually just seen a nice drop on the scale. Why was yesterday the worst in years? Do you think it could be related to the fact you were having the therapy session the next day, maybe? and I know she will be able to help me get a better attitude. I know I can deal with this, that I HAVE to deal with it if I have any hope of maintaining my weight. And I am willing to do whatever I need to do. I feel so sick and bloated right now, and I have terrible heartburn, which reminds me of the years I spent with continual gastric reflux and esophageal ulcers. Blech. Blech. :( Please call me when this happens. Hey, you know I bought the CD of the book -- I keep it in my car and listen to it whenever I'm out of reach of NPR. Maybe for your long driving days, you could get a copy of it and listen to it. The reader's voice is a little annoying, but I find the message motivating.

I need to get to sleep, if I CAN sleep, feeling so stuffed. I have to get up early to get my car serviced, then go for my consultation with the oral surgeon who will extract my tooth next Friday, then see my old therapist. Tomorrow WILL be a better day. Hope it was MUCH better!

Report: weighed (3.4 under goal), ate reasonably even though I made two new recipes for dinner including "Oreo-stuffed brownie & chocolate chip cookie bars," which I didn't even eat one bite of. Or any of the leftover oreos from those I bought for the recipe, which are still sitting in the pantry. Left a bite, didn't exercise. Didn't go to class again this morning -- the inside of my lip is still feeling really tender and the stitches are starting to dissolve which means they're even more in my way. Will put on my exercise clothes when I get dressed, though, and get on the treadmill.

4EverLearning
03-09-2012, 10:19 PM
Once again I had a long post all typed out. Then my cat plopped down on the keyboard, and the whole thing went POOF. I had to restrain myself from throttling her. I am on my way to bed and am too tired and wrung out to reconstruct the whole thing. I did have a good eating day, though, and a good therapy session that convinced me that I can tackle the relationship thing one step at a time, just like I did the weight loss.

I am very impressed that you could make two such enticing goodies and not sample them, even if the stitches were part of what inhibited you. You rock! And I will go to Amazon and order Beck on tape. I think that's a very good idea.

va1erie
03-10-2012, 06:10 AM
Once again I had a long post all typed out. Then my cat plopped down on the keyboard, and the whole thing went POOF. I had to restrain myself from throttling her. Arg!

I am on my way to bed and am too tired and wrung out to reconstruct the whole thing. I did have a good eating day, though, and a good therapy session that convinced me that I can tackle the relationship thing one step at a time, just like I did the weight loss. I'm glad the session was good! And that you're feeling more optimistic! Sorry you're feeling wrung out though -- the therapy session?

I am very impressed that you could make two such enticing goodies It was ONE enticing goodie -- you make chocolate chip cookie dough and spread it in a pan. You put down a layer of Oreos. Then you make up a brownie mix and pour it over, then bake it. You get cut it into bars that have a layer of chocolate chip cookie on the bottom, brownie on top, and cookies sandwiched between. :)

and not sample them, even if the stitches were part of what inhibited you. You rock! And I will go to Amazon and order Beck on tape. I think that's a very good idea. I still haven't eaten one. I'm planning to cut the rest of the bars and freeze them to send in Jane's lunches.

Report: weighed (no change, 3.4 under goal), ate very reasonably though I did have several deep-fried green beans at happy hour, but then I came home and had a very small dinner. Didn't end up getting on the treadmill, though. :( But still a good day overall.

Hope your Saturday was a good one!

4EverLearning
03-11-2012, 12:05 AM
I'm glad the session was good! And that you're feeling more optimistic! Sorry you're feeling wrung out though -- the therapy session?

Yes, I started crying almost the moment I walked in the door!! And then I had to catch her up on all of the things that have happened since I last saw her (Bethy, bear pals, breast cancer scare, dating), which drained me. But after that, it was low-key and kind of fun. She had me respond to a bunch of questions about my favorite things (color, food, style of furniture, city, etc.) to start me off on gathering data about my likes and dislikes, on the theory that I can't figure out where I want my life to go next if I don't know who I am. This surprised me a bit, but the conversation did convince me that I don't know the "new me" all that well, and the issue does bear exploring. I'm supposed to write it down every time I notice that I like or dislike something as I go through my day.

It was ONE enticing goodie -- you make chocolate chip cookie dough and spread it in a pan. You put down a layer of Oreos. Then you make up a brownie mix and pour it over, then bake it. You get cut it into bars that have a layer of chocolate chip cookie on the bottom, brownie on top, and cookies sandwiched between. :)

One, two, whatever......it was still a SUPER enticing goodie, and you resisted it!! I am salivating just reading your description of it!

I still haven't eaten one. I'm planning to cut the rest of the bars and freeze them to send in Jane's lunches.

Like I said, I am in awe of your self-control!

Report: weighed (no change, 3.4 under goal), ate very reasonably though I did have several deep-fried green beans at happy hour, but then I came home and had a very small dinner. Didn't end up getting on the treadmill, though. :( But still a good day overall.

That all sounds eminently reasonable, and I'm sure the scale will tell you so tomorrow! How is your mouth feeling?

I weighed myself this morning--133.6. ACK. I shudder to think what I must have weighed yesterday, since my belly was much flatter this morning than it was yesterday morning. That puts me about 6-7 pounds above where I want to be, and I can definitely tell the difference in how my clothes feel. I've had two good eating days in a row now, however, and I recognize that the gain is just a form of information that tells me that it is definitely time to get back on track. I am going to make an extra effort to look nice every day this week, which I have discovered in the past often makes me want to eat better.

My cat has just snuggled up to the very edge of my laptop, with her face above the keys, so i had better submit this before she erases my post again. Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
03-11-2012, 10:53 AM
Yes, I started crying almost the moment I walked in the door!! And then I had to catch her up on all of the things that have happened since I last saw her (Bethy, bear pals, breast cancer scare, dating), which drained me. But after that, it was low-key and kind of fun. She had me respond to a bunch of questions about my favorite things (color, food, style of furniture, city, etc.) to start me off on gathering data about my likes and dislikes, on the theory that I can't figure out where I want my life to go next if I don't know who I am. This surprised me a bit, but the conversation did convince me that I don't know the "new me" all that well, and the issue does bear exploring. I'm supposed to write it down every time I notice that I like or dislike something as I go through my day. I'm amazed you got to anything besides what's happened in the last two years! :) I love that you're writing down things you like and dislike. I've just started using Pinterest, which is a sort of online pin board you use to "pin" items you find online or see in your real life (and photograph with your camera) into various online boards which you can share with your friends. They "repin" the things they like too. It's kind of fun. I'm not sure you can see my boards without being a "member" though it's free to sign up -- here's one: https://pinterest.com/taylorvalerie/to-make/



One, two, whatever......it was still a SUPER enticing goodie, and you resisted it!! I am salivating just reading your description of it! I think it was actually a bit too much, LOL! Even Jane said she thought it might be better without the oreos. :)

I weighed myself this morning--133.6. ACK. I shudder to think what I must have weighed yesterday, since my belly was much flatter this morning than it was yesterday morning. That puts me about 6-7 pounds above where I want to be, and I can definitely tell the difference in how my clothes feel. One thing that stuck with me from the Beck workshop was that -successful- maintainers tended to lose down to a goal, then learn to live at about five pounds above that goal. I think this was a really interesting idea, because it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking gaining anything above goal proves you 'just can't do this' and that you've 'failed.' When of course being able to maintain at five pounds above the arbitrary 'ideal' weight you have in your mind isn't -failure.- It's accepting the reality that an ideal isn't necessarily something you can live with, and that maintaining five pounds above that ideal is still successful maintaining. I've had two good eating days in a row now, however, and I recognize that the gain is just a form of information that tells me that it is definitely time to get back on track. I am going to make an extra effort to look nice every day this week, which I have discovered in the past often makes me want to eat better. Good for you!

My cat has just snuggled up to the very edge of my laptop, with her face above the keys, so i had better submit this before she erases my post again. Hope you had a great day! When I've got a superlong post to do, I sometimes submit before I'm finished, then go back and edit what I've submitted to make sure that if I lose the post, all I've lost is the work I've done since I last submitted.

Report: weighed (no change, 3.4 below goal), ate very reasonably even though I made braided stromboli for lunch. I'm having a colonoscopy tomorrow, which means a light breakfast and then fasting for the rest of today and drinking a bunch of goop that everyone says is the worst part of the process. But maybe it will mean I'll drop a bit. Won't be going to class tomorrow morning because of the procedure.

4EverLearning
03-11-2012, 09:48 PM
I'm amazed you got to anything besides what's happened in the last two years! :) I love that you're writing down things you like and dislike. I've just started using Pinterest, which is a sort of online pin board you use to "pin" items you find online or see in your real life (and photograph with your camera) into various online boards which you can share with your friends. They "repin" the things they like too. It's kind of fun. I'm not sure you can see my boards without being a "member" though it's free to sign up -- here's one: https://pinterest.com/taylorvalerie/to-make/

Oh, and of course I had to tell her about you and the whole Beck thing, too! I guess we covered a lot of ground in an hour! Funny that you should mention Pinterest. I just recently read about that site in a regular column in my local newspaper. The columnist wrote about how she has become completely addicted to the site. I will check it out! Right now I am watching the Hoarding show on TLC, and I am seeing all kinds of things I don't like!! :D



I think it was actually a bit too much, LOL! Even Jane said she thought it might be better without the oreos. :)

I would definitely not think it would be better without the Oreos. Trust me on this.

One thing that stuck with me from the Beck workshop was that -successful- maintainers tended to lose down to a goal, then learn to live at about five pounds above that goal. I think this was a really interesting idea, because it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking gaining anything above goal proves you 'just can't do this' and that you've 'failed.' When of course being able to maintain at five pounds above the arbitrary 'ideal' weight you have in your mind isn't -failure.- It's accepting the reality that an ideal isn't necessarily something you can live with, and that maintaining five pounds above that ideal is still successful maintaining.

That really struck a chord with me, too, and I was reminded of it yesterday when I got on the scale. I definitely understand her point, and I think it's a crucial lesson to not throw in the towel because of a 5-pound gain. I have thought of that many times, and I know I could accept staying at this weight IF I had gotten to it "honestly" (by healthy eating). But that is definitely not the case here. So I'm not ready to accept this as my new maintenance weight yet. But, more importantly, I'm absolutely not using it as an excuse to give up, either.

When I've got a superlong post to do, I sometimes submit before I'm finished, then go back and edit what I've submitted to make sure that if I lose the post, all I've lost is the work I've done since I last submitted.

That's because you are SMART!

Report: weighed (no change, 3.4 below goal), ate very reasonably even though I made braided stromboli for lunch. I'm having a colonoscopy tomorrow, which means a light breakfast and then fasting for the rest of today and drinking a bunch of goop that everyone says is the worst part of the process. But maybe it will mean I'll drop a bit. Won't be going to class tomorrow morning because of the procedure.

UGH. That means you must be doing the prep right about now. I had my first colonoscopy many years ago, and the prep is definitely not as bad now as it was then, but it's still the worst part by far. But the good news is that your weight will definitely drop! I hope it all goes well for you.

My weight was down 1.2 this morning. Stayed OP all day. Made it a point to eat extra slowly and mindfully. I worked all afternoon on my taxes (getting stuff ready to take to the accountant, which included a couple of hours on the phone with my brother going over the stuff that he manages for me), one of my most hated tasks, but did not give in to the urge to eat. I slept for only an hour last night (just couldn't fall asleep), so hopefully I will sleep really well tonight and feel even better and stronger in the morning.

Good luck tomorrow!

Later: I just went and looked at your Pinterest link, and I was able to see the page. So those purses are purses you found on other sites and would like to copy? And other people can see these as well? How would they find this page? And do you look at other people's pages? How do you know what you want to look at and how to search for it?

va1erie
03-12-2012, 10:58 AM
Oh, and of course I had to tell her about you and the whole Beck thing, too! I guess we covered a lot of ground in an hour! Funny that you should mention Pinterest. I just recently read about that site in a regular column in my local newspaper. The columnist wrote about how she has become completely addicted to the site. I will check it out! Right now I am watching the Hoarding show on TLC, and I am seeing all kinds of things I don't like!! :D Oh, that show is a guilty pleasure of mine! It always makes me want to clear out a closet or drawer! :)

I would definitely not think it would be better without the Oreos. Trust me on this. Well, you know Oreos are a definite weakness with me! I sent about half of them back to school with Mick and today I'm going to cut the rest into portion-size packs for Jane and stick them in the freezer.

That really struck a chord with me, too, and I was reminded of it yesterday when I got on the scale. I definitely understand her point, and I think it's a crucial lesson to not throw in the towel because of a 5-pound gain. I have thought of that many times, and I know I could accept staying at this weight IF I had gotten to it "honestly" (by healthy eating). But that is definitely not the case here. So I'm not ready to accept this as my new maintenance weight yet. But, more importantly, I'm absolutely not using it as an excuse to give up, either. Very good point that it's not simply finding that you simply can't eat that low day-in, day-out. You've proved you can and were consistently doing it until this latest issue reared its ugly head. :)

That's because you are SMART! I occasionally have my moments. :)

UGH. That means you must be doing the prep right about now. I had my first colonoscopy many years ago, and the prep is definitely not as bad now as it was then, but it's still the worst part by far. But the good news is that your weight will definitely drop! I hope it all goes well for you. It went smoothly, for the most part. I messed up the prep (the prep instructions that came with the box were VASTLY different from teh ones the doc had provided, but I didn't realize it until 3:30 when I was filling out the paperwork. But apparently I called an audible well enough to get to the eventual goal. But YEESH that stuff tastes awful.

My weight was down 1.2 this morning. Stayed OP all day. Made it a point to eat extra slowly and mindfully. I worked all afternoon on my taxes (getting stuff ready to take to the accountant, which included a couple of hours on the phone with my brother going over the stuff that he manages for me), one of my most hated tasks, but did not give in to the urge to eat. I slept for only an hour last night (just couldn't fall asleep), so hopefully I will sleep really well tonight and feel even better and stronger in the morning. Yay for the downtick! Love those, eh? Good for you for staying onplan even though you were doing your taxes. Sorry for the bad night's sleep. Mine was pretty broken up as I had to get up numerous times. I imagine I'll sleep well tonight!

Later: I just went and looked at your Pinterest link, and I was able to see the page. So those purses are purses you found on other sites and would like to copy? And other people can see these as well? How would they find this page? And do you look at other people's pages? How do you know what you want to look at and how to search for it? Yes, not exactly copy but use as inspiration, like that Kate Spade purse, or learn from the tutorials on some of the sites -- one site gave me a fantastic bit of a suggestion for solving a common problem. Yes, others can see your boards. They choose to "follow" them, and you decide whether you want to follow that person back. It's sort of still in Beta and I don't think at this time there's any option for blocking anyone, so it's not something you'd want to pin anything sensitive on. When you first start out, you can find friends who are doing it by searching on their emails or names, and eventually you start seeing people whose board you're interested in even if you don't them personally -- people whose board indicate they have similar interests to yours, which means you can look at their boards and "repin" the things they pinned to their boards on to yours, which in turn shares those with your followers.

report: weighed, and I'm down an astounding 3.6 pounds to 7 pounds under goal! I nearly fell over when I saw 110 on the scale -- haven't seen that since my twenties. I should do a colonoscopy before every vacation. :) I know it's all deyhdration and of course the fact I was EMPTY, but still maybe tomorrow or the next day I'll still have a bit of a downtick leftover. Ate nearly nothing yesterday, but planning to go out to lunch with John today. Will skip the treadmill today because I'm feeling a little lightheaded still -- my bp just woudl NOT get back up to my normal low blood pressure level, so we had to wait in recovery for over an hour. John's hovering.

Hope your day was a good one!

4EverLearning
03-12-2012, 11:24 PM
Oh, that show is a guilty pleasure of mine! It always makes me want to clear out a closet or drawer! :)

ME, TOO!!! I'm usually cleaning out a drawer or cupboard before the show is even over!! But I'm fascinated by the show--those people's lives are train wrecks, but you can't look away from a train wreck!

Well, you know Oreos are a definite weakness with me! I sent about half of them back to school with Mick and today I'm going to cut the rest into portion-size packs for Jane and stick them in the freezer.

Are you putting them in the freezer to make them less noticeable, accessible, and/or tempting? I think freezing them would make them even BETTER!!

Very good point that it's not simply finding that you simply can't eat that low day-in, day-out. You've proved you can and were consistently doing it until this latest issue reared its ugly head. :)

Exactly. If I go back to doing what I was doing and still can't maintain a lower weight, I will accept that. But I don't expect that to happen.

I occasionally have my moments. :)

And you're MODEST, too!! ;)

It went smoothly, for the most part. I messed up the prep (the prep instructions that came with the box were VASTLY different from teh ones the doc had provided, but I didn't realize it until 3:30 when I was filling out the paperwork. But apparently I called an audible well enough to get to the eventual goal. But YEESH that stuff tastes awful.

Hmmmm. If it tasted awful, you must have had something different than I did. What I was told to do was to mix an entire container of Miralax (I think it was 48 doses) in a gallon of Gatorade and drink the whole thing. It tasted mostly like Gatorade. It was too much liquid for my stomach to hold, though, and I started vomiting like crazy, which was unpleasant to say the least. I was afraid I hadn't kept enough down to do the job, but that fear turned out to be baseless. :D

Yay for the downtick! Love those, eh? Good for you for staying onplan even though you were doing your taxes. Sorry for the bad night's sleep. Mine was pretty broken up as I had to get up numerous times. I imagine I'll sleep well tonight!

Yes, I bet you will sleep like a baby tonight! I certainly slept better last night than I did the night before, but I still did not want to get up this morning. The time change did not help.

Yes, not exactly copy but use as inspiration, like that Kate Spade purse, or learn from the tutorials on some of the sites -- one site gave me a fantastic bit of a suggestion for solving a common problem. Yes, others can see your boards. They choose to "follow" them, and you decide whether you want to follow that person back. It's sort of still in Beta and I don't think at this time there's any option for blocking anyone, so it's not something you'd want to pin anything sensitive on. When you first start out, you can find friends who are doing it by searching on their emails or names, and eventually you start seeing people whose board you're interested in even if you don't them personally -- people whose board indicate they have similar interests to yours, which means you can look at their boards and "repin" the things they pinned to their boards on to yours, which in turn shares those with your followers.

It definitely sounds cool--kinda like the cork boards we used to put on our dorm room doors in college, only on a much bigger scale!

report: weighed, and I'm down an astounding 3.6 pounds to 7 pounds under goal! I nearly fell over when I saw 110 on the scale -- haven't seen that since my twenties. I should do a colonoscopy before every vacation. :) I know it's all deyhdration and of course the fact I was EMPTY, but still maybe tomorrow or the next day I'll still have a bit of a downtick leftover. Ate nearly nothing yesterday, but planning to go out to lunch with John today. Will skip the treadmill today because I'm feeling a little lightheaded still -- my bp just woudl NOT get back up to my normal low blood pressure level, so we had to wait in recovery for over an hour. John's hovering.

OMG!!! I do not remember how much I lost when I had my colonoscopy, but I know it was nowhere near that much. Even if it doesn't last, I'm sure it was still very nice to see that 110 on the scale!! I have thought many times (given my ongoing struggles with extreme constipation) that I should just do the container of Miralax-in-Gatorade thing every month or so! But sanity has always prevailed. Is your BP low because of not eating, or because of anesthesia?

Hope your day was a good one!

It was one of my looooonng days with a trip to Kent for a meeting, but it was a good day. I ate right around 1500 calories today but have still been quite hungry all day, and I am ravenous right now, so I will be interested to see if I support your theory about that by showing a good drop on the scale tomorrow. I was down .2 today. Got a bit of spontaneous exercise (consciously parking far away from destinations and taking the stairs for multiple floors instead of using the elevator). I at least was able to avoid eating meal in the car, so ate everything sitting down, if not as slowly and mindfully as I would like.

I heard from my eharmony match AND from another potential match (another professor, who is also a physician and lives in Columbus) who would like to start communicating with me. I haven't decided what to do about that--partly because I am so confused about the status of the first relationship. Sigh........

Time for me to get to bed. Tomorrow is one of my early class days (with the time change, it will still be dark when I have to get up). I also have a personal training session tomorrow.

How is your mouth doing? Hope you recover quickly from both of your procedures and have a great day tomorrow!

va1erie
03-13-2012, 08:08 AM
ME, TOO!!! I'm usually cleaning out a drawer or cupboard before the show is even over!! But I'm fascinated by the show--those people's lives are train wrecks, but you can't look away from a train wreck! I know. It makes me feel a little bad for watching. I know the point of the show is that these folks are trading their privacy for the help they're getting and that the economics of the situation require people to be watching. But I still feel guilty for being fascinated by breathtaking lack of insight, beyond-dysfunctional family interactions, and filth.

Are you putting them in the freezer to make them less noticeable, accessible, and/or tempting? I think freezing them would make them even BETTER!! Partly to get them off the counter, partly to keep them fresh for lunches, partly to work ahead. I often portion a loaf of bread into sandwich bags, two to a bag, so that in the morning I can pull out a bag, slap on some peanut butter, and stick it back into the sandwich bag and into a lunch sack. Pull out a bag with a brownie in it and add and orange and voila! Jane's lunch is ready to go. :) I do the same thing for diet-friendly breakfasts -- portion minibagels and a turkey sausage patty into a snack-size bag and I don't have to think too much about what to eat for breakfast, which helps keep me from deciding maybe I'll have a slice of leftover pizza. :)

Hmmmm. If it tasted awful, you must have had something different than I did. What I was told to do was to mix an entire container of Miralax (I think it was 48 doses) in a gallon of Gatorade and drink the whole thing. It tasted mostly like Gatorade. It was called Suprep. The instructions called for mixing a 6-oz bottle with 10 oz water, drinking that quickly, then following it with a quart of water over the next hour, then a second similar dose 8 hours later. Next time I'll ask if it would be okay to drink it more slowly so I can dilute it more. It was too much liquid for my stomach to hold, though, and I started vomiting like crazy, which was unpleasant to say the least. I was afraid I hadn't kept enough down to do the job, but that fear turned out to be baseless. :D One of the nurses actually mentioned that they used to have people drinking a gallon of water, which tended to make people vomit, so now they ask them to drink a LOT less water after the dose. I was supposed to drink an additional 64 oz of "fluids" during the day -- I think probably to prevent dehydration -- but even with starting early I couldn't get all that down so I ended up pretty dehydrated by the time they had to put the IV in. I hate IVs.

It definitely sounds cool--kinda like the cork boards we used to put on our dorm room doors in college, only on a much bigger scale![quote] That's exactly it!



[quote] Is your BP low because of not eating, or because of anesthesia? No clue. My BP tends to be low just in general, though. It's one reason I never worry about how much salt I use. :)



It was one of my looooonng days with a trip to Kent for a meeting, but it was a good day. I ate right around 1500 calories today but have still been quite hungry all day, and I am ravenous right now, so I will be interested to see if I support your theory about that by showing a good drop on the scale tomorrow. I was down .2 today. Got a bit of spontaneous exercise (consciously parking far away from destinations and taking the stairs for multiple floors instead of using the elevator). I at least was able to avoid eating meal in the car, so ate everything sitting down, if not as slowly and mindfully as I would like. Yay for a good day!

I heard from my eharmony match AND from another potential match (another professor, who is also a physician and lives in Columbus) who would like to start communicating with me. I haven't decided what to do about that--partly because I am so confused about the status of the first relationship. Sigh........ JMHO, but I'd say Sayonara to the first match. If he's wishy-washy at this point, he's not worth investing any more effort in. At the very least I wouldn't even CONSIDER it as having any understanding of exclusivity -- he said he wanted to consider it just a friendship, and I'd be taking him at his word on that one. Again, JMHO, and sorry if I'm overstepping boundaries.

On a tangent, would communicating with/dating multiple people cause you more anxiety, or less? What I mean is, if you're dating whoever comes along, both (all) in a no-more-than-friendly fashion, you could possibly see it as not-yet-a-relationship and so less threatening emotionally. You're not in a relationship, you're just exploring whether or not you =want= to be in a relationship with this person. Or would the idea of "dating around" take your brain to an anxious place?

How is your mouth doing? Hope you recover quickly from both of your procedures and have a great day tomorrow! Mouth is nearly healed, yay! SO glad to have all the stitches gone.

Report: weighed (up 3 POUNDS! to 4 below goal), ate very reasonably for lunch and dinner, then had a wine-induced snackfest when Jane brought home a truly evil bag of a caramel-corn, cheese-popcorn, buttered popcorn mix that was like CRACK. I have issued a standing order that it's never to be brought into the house again.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
03-15-2012, 10:53 AM
First, sorry I couldn't get on here last night. Every time I tried to load this page, my computer would time out before the page would come up. I get very frustrated when that happens. No problem! Apparently I didn't get in here, either! I don't know why! Did I just get too busy? LOL!

If I was cooking, or even eating something other than NS food most of the time, I would definitely package my food into individual servings like that. That's a very good strategy for managing portion control AND getting temptation out of sight. It does help!




Mine was low for most of my life, too. I only developed hypertension in the last couple of years that I was obese. Now it's low again. Yay again!






I have had two good days. My weight was up .4 yesterday and down .4 today. Had a great personal training session yesterday and broke my record for most calories burned in an hour (almost 300). Stayed OP both days, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully.

[quote]I hope you are OK and that there is no post from you this morning because there was none from me to respond to, not because something is wrong!

Putting this in as a placeholder -- will update it! Nothing was wrong yesterday, I must have just forgot. Weird. Report: my weight was up a little, 3.2 under goal, but that's still okay. Ate slowly and mindfully but did have a wine-induced snackfast last night, which is likely why I'm up a bit.

4EverLearning
03-16-2012, 01:09 AM
No problem! Apparently I didn't get in here, either! I don't know why! Did I just get too busy? LOL!

Apparently you have a life!



Putting this in as a placeholder -- will update it! Nothing was wrong yesterday, I must have just forgot. Weird. Report: my weight was up a little, 3.2 under goal, but that's still okay. Ate slowly and mindfully but did have a wine-induced snackfast last night, which is likely why I'm up a bit.

You must be going on vacation in what, about two weeks? Are you comfortable with the amount of leeway you have in your weight?

My weight was unchanged. Had a personal training session. My gym just got a rowing machine, so I learned to use that, and I LOVE it! Ate everything slowly and mindfully and sitting down.

I am so looking forward to getting that darn tooth out of my mouth tomorrow (actually later this morning!). I am going to have general anesthesia, so I will probably sleep most of the day tomorrow. Will try to get on here tomorrow night, though. Hope you have a better day than I will!!

va1erie
03-16-2012, 10:53 AM
You must be going on vacation in what, about two weeks? Are you comfortable with the amount of leeway you have in your weight? A week from tomorrow! I'm comfortable, but I'd rather be down a bit. I may try to do shakes-and-bars next Mon-Fri.

My weight was unchanged. Had a personal training session. My gym just got a rowing machine, so I learned to use that, and I LOVE it! Ate everything slowly and mindfully and sitting down. I've never tried rowing! I wonder if I could do it with my knees?

I am so looking forward to getting that darn tooth out of my mouth tomorrow (actually later this morning!). I am going to have general anesthesia, so I will probably sleep most of the day tomorrow. Will try to get on here tomorrow night, though. Hope you have a better day than I will!!I hope it went smoothly for you!

Report: weighed (no change, still 3.2 under goal), ate reasonably, didn't go to class this morning. Got up, dressed, started out, and the tendonitis in my ankle was acting up so I decided to skip it. I really don't want to go through that again.

TTYS!

4EverLearning
03-17-2012, 11:48 PM
Testing to see if this will work.....I see someone else started a thread about having trouble loading certain pages.

WOO HOO on the big weight drop. Don't you just love when that happens, even if you have no idea why it did?? But I'm so sorry to hear about your ankle--especially when you are about to go on vacation!

My weight was down .4 this morning. Stayed OP all day, ate slowly and mindfully, did not exercise. Today my jaw is incredibly sore, and on both sides. And the side of my mouth is all scraped and scabbed over so that I can not open my mouth very wide without cracking it. I feel like I got beat up! The extraction site itself doesn't hurt much, though. Weird.

Hope you had a good day despite your ankle.

va1erie
03-18-2012, 01:31 PM
WOO HOO on the big weight drop. Don't you just love when that happens, even if you have no idea why it did?? But I'm so sorry to hear about your ankle--especially when you are about to go on vacation! Yeah, I'm really bummed. It means not exercising at all for weeks, too, which is such an incredible drag.

My weight was down .4 this morning. Stayed OP all day, ate slowly and mindfully, did not exercise. Today my jaw is incredibly sore, and on both sides. And the side of my mouth is all scraped and scabbed over so that I can not open my mouth very wide without cracking it. I feel like I got beat up! The extraction site itself doesn't hurt much, though. Weird. Oh, bummer! I hope it starts feeling better soon!

report: weighed (up 1.6 to 2.2 below goal, sigh), didn't exercise. On crutches now, trying to keep from using the ankle at all. Shakes and bars starting tomorrow in an attempt to stave off a weight gain even if I can't lose any before we leave.

Hope you're feeling better!

4EverLearning
03-19-2012, 12:35 AM
Yeah, I'm really bummed. It means not exercising at all for weeks, too, which is such an incredible drag.

Did you injure your ankle somehow, or is this just a spontaneous flare-up?


report: weighed (up 1.6 to 2.2 below goal, sigh), didn't exercise. On crutches now, trying to keep from using the ankle at all. Shakes and bars starting tomorrow in an attempt to stave off a weight gain even if I can't lose any before we leave.

Oh, no, does that mean you will be on crutches for vacation? :( What bad timing!

Hope you're feeling better!

I do feel somewhat better today, although the whole side of my mouth is scabbed over (looks like a giant cold sore) so that I can barely open my mouth without cracking it. Made it a little difficult to sing (in choir) this morning!

My weight was down .6. I went to the gym (keeping to my plan to amp up the exercise during break) but had a little mishap. I decided to try the stair-stepper on my own (previously only used it with my trainer's supervision). Somehow I accidentally programmed it to go faster and faster. I got going so fast that I was having trouble keeping up but couldn't take my hand off the rail to re-program the machine. When I tried, I slipped. I held on to the rails but ended up sliding down the still-moving staircase on my stomach, which had the effect of suspending all my weight from my arms and really wrenched my shoulder, along with bruising my belly. It was also very embarrassing. The machine, of course, kept running until one of the staff heard me scream and came to turn it off. But at least I didn't hit my mouth on the stairs! Stayed OP all day. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully.

I sure hope your ankle is feeling better. I feel so bad for you. :(

va1erie
03-19-2012, 10:02 AM
Did you injure your ankle somehow, or is this just a spontaneous flare-up? I don't recall anything at all -- I think it must just be a bit of overuse. It's the same ankle I had the tendonitis on several years ago.

Oh, no, does that mean you will be on crutches for vacation? :( What bad timing! The worst. :( I will probably arrange for crutches there and hope I don't need them, but what a drag.

My weight was down .6. I went to the gym (keeping to my plan to amp up the exercise during break) but had a little mishap. I decided to try the stair-stepper on my own (previously only used it with my trainer's supervision). Somehow I accidentally programmed it to go faster and faster. I got going so fast that I was having trouble keeping up but couldn't take my hand off the rail to re-program the machine. When I tried, I slipped. I held on to the rails but ended up sliding down the still-moving staircase on my stomach, which had the effect of suspending all my weight from my arms and really wrenched my shoulder, along with bruising my belly. It was also very embarrassing. The machine, of course, kept running until one of the staff heard me scream and came to turn it off. But at least I didn't hit my mouth on the stairs! Stayed OP all day. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. OMG! Isn't there a clip that you can clip to your wrist or waistband that automatically turns off the machine if you fall? I'm so glad you weren't badly hurt!

report: weighed (down .4 to 2.6 below goal), ate reasonably, didn't exercise. Won't be going to class until after vacation, at the earliest. I may try to do non-ankle involving things like pushups and curls on my own, though.

Hope you had a good day!

4EverLearning
03-19-2012, 10:42 PM
I don't recall anything at all -- I think it must just be a bit of overuse. It's the same ankle I had the tendonitis on several years ago. The worst. :( I will probably arrange for crutches there and hope I don't need them, but what a drag.

TOTALLY a drag. I hope it won't keep you from having a wonderful time!

OMG! Isn't there a clip that you can clip to your wrist or waistband that automatically turns off the machine if you fall? I'm so glad you weren't badly hurt!

No, isn't that crazy? I asked the trainer the same thing, since he always makes me wear that clip when I'm on the treadmill, even when he is standing right next to me. And even worse, the switches are up at the top of the staircase, too high up for anyone who is not standing on the staircase to reach. So the staff person who turned off the machine for me had to first get a step stool! I won't be using that again unless my trainer is right there.

report: weighed (down .4 to 2.6 below goal), ate reasonably, didn't exercise. Won't be going to class until after vacation, at the earliest. I may try to do non-ankle involving things like pushups and curls on my own, though.

Having an ankle that is out of commission really limits the exercise options, for sure. Even push-ups sound really difficult. The only thing you can really do to get your heart rate up is to move your arms. What are you thinking about how you'll handle eating on your vacation, since you won't be able to burn as many calories and don't have as much of a cushion as you hoped?

My weight was down 1.4 this morning (??????). I REALLY feel like I got beaten up now, between my jaw, the side of my mouth, my bruised belly, and a very sore shoulder, so I didn't exercise. I have a training session tomorrow and hope I can keep up! Stayed OP. Ate slowly and mindfully. Am feeling in control again, which is a relief.

Hope you had a better day today.

va1erie
03-20-2012, 08:06 AM
TOTALLY a drag. I hope it won't keep you from having a wonderful time! I'm sure I'll still have a good time. But I'll have to skip a lot of stuff like shopping, walking around, etc. I won't be able to wear most of the shoes I'd planned to take with me. But without being able to get any exercise at all, it means limiting my eating even more, which of course is hard on vacation already. And

No, isn't that crazy? I asked the trainer the same thing, since he always makes me wear that clip when I'm on the treadmill, even when he is standing right next to me. And even worse, the switches are up at the top of the staircase, too high up for anyone who is not standing on the staircase to reach. So the staff person who turned off the machine for me had to first get a step stool! I won't be using that again unless my trainer is right there. Wow, that's nuts! They're going to end up with someone really hurt.

Having an ankle that is out of commission really limits the exercise options, for sure. Even push-ups sound really difficult. The only thing you can really do to get your heart rate up is to move your arms. What are you thinking about how you'll handle eating on your vacation, since you won't be able to burn as many calories and don't have as much of a cushion as you hoped? I'd already planned on focussing on seafood. I love seafood and of course can't often get it fresh, so that helps. And I'll just have to be really strict about completely avoiding anything I could get here at home.

My weight was down 1.4 this morning (??????). I REALLY feel like I got beaten up now, between my jaw, the side of my mouth, my bruised belly, and a very sore shoulder, so I didn't exercise. I have a training session tomorrow and hope I can keep up! Stayed OP. Ate slowly and mindfully. Am feeling in control again, which is a relief. Yay you for feeling back in control!

report: weighed (no change, still 2.6 under goal), ate reasonably but didn't do the bars and shakes. I was just feeling too sorry for myself sitting in the kitchen watching Bollywood with my foot propped up. It's easier to do the bars and shakes route when you're busy. :)

4EverLearning
03-21-2012, 12:09 AM
I'm sure I'll still have a good time. But I'll have to skip a lot of stuff like shopping, walking around, etc. I won't be able to wear most of the shoes I'd planned to take with me. But without being able to get any exercise at all, it means limiting my eating even more, which of course is hard on vacation already. And

Looks like something got cut off here at the end! I'm glad you have a good attitude about your vacation, even with the limitations you will face.

Wow, that's nuts! They're going to end up with someone really hurt.

I told my trainer about it today, and he said they bought the stair-stepper used, so he suspects that it is an old model without safety features that are standard on newer models. He said the very same thing happened to him the first time he tried it, so I shouldn't feel bad!

I'd already planned on focussing on seafood. I love seafood and of course can't often get it fresh, so that helps. And I'll just have to be really strict about completely avoiding anything I could get here at home.

Seafood is always a good way to go, and it's a good thing you actually LIKE seafood! I think the strategy of avoiding everything you could get at home is really rational and helpful--honors the idea of a vacation without going overboard.

Yay you for feeling back in control!

I do feel a lot better. Part of it may be situational, though. I'm going to be meeting my second eHarmony match in person for the first time this weekend, and I will feel much better about that if I feel on top of my eating.

report: weighed (no change, still 2.6 under goal), ate reasonably but didn't do the bars and shakes. I was just feeling too sorry for myself sitting in the kitchen watching Bollywood with my foot propped up. It's easier to do the bars and shakes route when you're busy. :)

Aw, you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself, and I don't blame you a bit. And good for you for not letting feeling sorry for yourself be an excuse for overeating.

My weight was down another .6 this morning. That's three good losses in a row (I was back under 130 today, for the first time in weeks), so I suspect I may be dehydrated. It will be interesting to see what the scale says tomorrow. I really kicked up the exercise today. First I walked to the gym for my personal training session. I got there half an hour early, so I worked out on my own before the session. Then I walked home a very roundabout way. I believe I walked about 12 miles. My Exerspy says I took over 21000 steps (a record for me) and that I burned almost 2200 calories, and I know both of those are underestimates, because I didn't put the Exerspy on until I'd already been awake for a couple of hours. I ate about 1500 calories, so I definitely had a good deficit. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. I definitely did not want to overeat and undo all that exercise! That's one of the best benefits of exercise.

I am incredibly exhausted and suspect I will sleep really well, despite the fact that it is 86 degrees in here right now. I can't remember if I told you that my air conditioner died months ago and hasn't been replaced yet. It will be done on Saturday--just about the time the weather is supposed to cool off anyway. In the meantime, I am sweltering, especially during the constant hot flashes I get because of that darn medication.

Hope you had a better day and aren't feeling quite so sorry for yourself. :(

va1erie
03-21-2012, 08:07 AM
I do feel a lot better. Part of it may be situational, though. I'm going to be meeting my second eHarmony match in person for the first time this weekend, and I will feel much better about that if I feel on top of my eating. Very cool! I'll be looking forward to hearing how it goes! BTW, I'm considering not taking my laptop with me on vacation, just to help limit how much stuff I need to carry with me. John'll probably take his iPad, so I might be able to get on with that.

Aw, you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself, and I don't blame you a bit. And good for you for not letting feeling sorry for yourself be an excuse for overeating. I actually had good news! I saw my doc and he thinks this isn't tendonitis but more likely a stress fracture. This is great news because a stress fracture won't be made worse by overuse as long as it's reasonable overuse. So I don't have to completely baby myself. I can walk through the pain without worrying so much.

My weight was down another .6 this morning. That's three good losses in a row (I was back under 130 today, for the first time in weeks), so I suspect I may be dehydrated. It will be interesting to see what the scale says tomorrow. I really kicked up the exercise today. First I walked to the gym for my personal training session. I got there half an hour early, so I worked out on my own before the session. Then I walked home a very roundabout way. I believe I walked about 12 miles. My Exerspy says I took over 21000 steps (a record for me) and that I burned almost 2200 calories, and I know both of those are underestimates, because I didn't put the Exerspy on until I'd already been awake for a couple of hours. I ate about 1500 calories, so I definitely had a good deficit. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. I definitely did not want to overeat and undo all that exercise! That's one of the best benefits of exercise. Yay, you! Wow, 12 miles and 21000 steps!

I am incredibly exhausted and suspect I will sleep really well, despite the fact that it is 86 degrees in here right now. I can't remember if I told you that my air conditioner died months ago and hasn't been replaced yet. It will be done on Saturday--just about the time the weather is supposed to cool off anyway. In the meantime, I am sweltering, especially during the constant hot flashes I get because of that darn medication. Oh, bummer on the AC! Hope you did get that good night's sleep!

Report: forgot to weigh this morning! Oops. Ate pretty reasonably yesterday, so fingers crossed for tomorrow. I have a hugely busy day today to get ready for leaving Saturday.

4EverLearning
03-21-2012, 11:24 PM
Very cool! I'll be looking forward to hearing how it goes! BTW, I'm considering not taking my laptop with me on vacation, just to help limit how much stuff I need to carry with me. John'll probably take his iPad, so I might be able to get on with that.

Don't worry about posting, at least not for my sake. I'll just keep adding to a post every night. I already know that I won't be taking my computer with me when I go to the Grand Canyon, and I won't use my friends' computers, either (I know you understand why). Maybe if they see me go a whole week without doing my reports, they'll stop thinking I'm obsessed! Or not.....


I actually had good news! I saw my doc and he thinks this isn't tendonitis but more likely a stress fracture. This is great news because a stress fracture won't be made worse by overuse as long as it's reasonable overuse. So I don't have to completely baby myself. I can walk through the pain without worrying so much.

OK, I've never thought of a fracture as good news, but if you're happy, I'm happy for you! What counts as "overuse"?

Yay, you! Wow, 12 miles and 21000 steps!

And it was physically much easier than when I used to do those long walks last summer. I really noticed the difference on the hills, and it took me significantly less time to cover the distance to the gym. I am pretty sore today, though!

Oh, bummer on the AC! Hope you did get that good night's sleep!

I slept pretty well. But it's even hotter tonight--88 in here at the moment. UGH.

Report: forgot to weigh this morning! Oops. Ate pretty reasonably yesterday, so fingers crossed for tomorrow. I have a hugely busy day today to get ready for leaving Saturday.

The worst thing about vacations is the frantic preparations beforehand. I'm sure your ankle does not make things any easier, either.

My weight was actually UP .2 this morning, but it didn't bother me at all since I know I had a large calorie deficit yesterday. I didn't go to the gym today (thought I had better give my poor muscles a break) but have another personal training session tomorrow. If the weather is nice, I'll walk there again. Stayed OP all day. I burned almost 2100 calories today (ate 1500) despite getting much less exercise than yesterday, which makes me think that maybe vigorous exercise really does increase metabolism for hours afterward.

Hope you had a productive and pain-free day!

va1erie
03-22-2012, 07:45 PM
Don't worry about posting, at least not for my sake. I'll just keep adding to a post every night. I already know that I won't be taking my computer with me when I go to the Grand Canyon, and I won't use my friends' computers, either (I know you understand why). Maybe if they see me go a whole week without doing my reports, they'll stop thinking I'm obsessed! Or not..... You should also feel free to call me any time! I usually have my phone with me and it's usually turned on, so feel free to call while you're gone.

OK, I've never thought of a fracture as good news, but if you're happy, I'm happy for you! What counts as "overuse"? Basically running, jogging, jumping jacks, or other high-impact stuff.


I slept pretty well. But it's even hotter tonight--88 in here at the moment. UGH. Ugh indeed! Do you have a balcony or something you can sleep on?




My weight was actually UP .2 this morning, but it didn't bother me at all since I know I had a large calorie deficit yesterday. I didn't go to the gym today (thought I had better give my poor muscles a break) but have another personal training session tomorrow. If the weather is nice, I'll walk there again. Stayed OP all day. I burned almost 2100 calories today (ate 1500) despite getting much less exercise than yesterday, which makes me think that maybe vigorous exercise really does increase metabolism for hours afterward. Wow, you are the exercisin' woman! Good for you! Bet you feel great, if tired!

Hope you had a productive and pain-free day! Productive and mostly pain free. Had my teeth cleaned this morning, had a laser treatment this afternoon (hair removal from my lip -- Jane and I are doing it together) and got my dress from CAbi finally! I love it! Happy happy happy! Tomorrow I get a pedi, mani, leg wax, brow wax, and pack. Oh, and I have to do a little shopping, but that's okay.

Report: weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully and pretty reasonably given that John and I went out to dinner. No exercise. Ankle is painful but I can manage. It's swollen, though. I have three ankle bones and one "cankle." Oh, and Jane got into Kenyon with a nice scholarship -- the final countdown begins. Almost all the schools Jane applied to will respond within the next week-and-a-half. Pray for me.

Have a good one!

4EverLearning
03-23-2012, 12:33 AM
You should also feel free to call me any time! I usually have my phone with me and it's usually turned on, so feel free to call while you're gone.

And you can always call me, too, although you should probably use my home number rather than my cell if you actually want to reach me!

Basically running, jogging, jumping jacks, or other high-impact stuff.

I think you should be able to avoid those activities on vacation without cramping your style too much!


Ugh indeed! Do you have a balcony or something you can sleep on?

NO. I wish!




Wow, you are the exercisin' woman! Good for you! Bet you feel great, if tired!

Yep on both counts. Today was a repeat of Tuesday, except that I walked "only" 10 miles instead of 12. I burned 2386 calories and took 19727 steps. YAY ME!

Productive and mostly pain free. Had my teeth cleaned this morning, had a laser treatment this afternoon (hair removal from my lip -- Jane and I are doing it together) and got my dress from CAbi finally! I love it! Happy happy happy! Tomorrow I get a pedi, mani, leg wax, brow wax, and pack. Oh, and I have to do a little shopping, but that's okay.

Oh, my goodness, you glamour girl, you!! I have wondered about laser treatments, since I hate my mustache! Is is painful and/or expensive, and how long does it last? I had never heard of the CAbi brand before, but my SIL is totally into it and introduced me to their stuff at Christmas. We went to an outlet store that was going out of business, and I got several things there for very little money.

Report: weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully and pretty reasonably given that John and I went out to dinner. No exercise. Ankle is painful but I can manage. It's swollen, though. I have three ankle bones and one "cankle." Oh, and Jane got into Kenyon with a nice scholarship -- the final countdown begins. Almost all the schools Jane applied to will respond within the next week-and-a-half. Pray for me.

Pray for YOU, rather than for Jane?? ;) You got it!

My weight was down .6 today. Already told you about my exercise adventure. I stayed OP and ate just under 1500 calories, so definitely had a good deficit today. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Tomorrow I have my second therapy session. Saturday I am meeting my second "match" for dinner. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but time will tell!

Have fun with all those beauty procedures tomorrow. You are going to be totally spiffed up for your trip!

va1erie
03-23-2012, 08:59 AM
And you can always call me, too, although you should probably use my home number rather than my cell if you actually want to reach me! Hm, don't think I have your home number? I have xxx.xxxx.xxxx.

Yep on both counts. Today was a repeat of Tuesday, except that I walked "only" 10 miles instead of 12. I burned 2386 calories and took 19727 steps. YAY ME! Yay, you!

Oh, my goodness, you glamour girl, you!! I have wondered about laser treatments, since I hate my mustache! Is is painful and/or expensive, and how long does it last? It feels a little like a series of rubber band snaps on your skin, and it's PERMANENT. It takes 3 - 6 treatments, which last about five minutes, about a month apart. It's expensive -- about $100 a treatment -- but if you sign up with places like Groupon and Mamapedia and AAA Deals, you can often find half-price offers. Groupon is at Groupon.com, and you sign up by your closest major city but you can check deals for others close by, so you could for instance check in/get the emails from Columbus, Akron/Canton, Cleveland, Youngstown if it would be worth your while to drive that far for a deal. And lots of times the "Cincinnati" deals are actually in the outer burbs or nearby smaller towns, so you might come across some that are reasonably close to you or that you'd be able to take advantage of them in your work travels. Groupon usually sends out at least one deal a day here in Cincinnati, so when Jane and I decided we wanted to do laser I just started watching for them, and so far two have come through.

I had never heard of the CAbi brand before, but my SIL is totally into it and introduced me to their stuff at Christmas. We went to an outlet store that was going out of business, and I got several things there for very little money. I like CAbi's stuff, but I was sweating not getting the dress in time since I purchased it specifically for this trip. Here's the dress I bought, along with the stuff I'm planning to wear with it, if you can see it:

http://pinterest.com/pin/208010076509211587/

My weight was down .6 today. Already told you about my exercise adventure. I stayed OP and ate just under 1500 calories, so definitely had a good deficit today. Ate everything sitting down, slowly and mindfully. Tomorrow I have my second therapy session. Saturday I am meeting my second "match" for dinner. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but time will tell! Oh, I hope I can get online to hear about it! :)

Report: weighed (no change, but I'm good with that given no exercise for nearly two weeks), ate reasonably.

TTYS! I'll check in tomorrow before we get going if I have a chance!

4EverLearning
03-23-2012, 10:56 PM
Hm, don't think I have your home number? I have xxx,xxx,xxxx.

That's my cell. My home number is (xxx) xxx-xxxx.

It feels a little like a series of rubber band snaps on your skin, and it's PERMANENT. It takes 3 - 6 treatments, which last about five minutes, about a month apart. It's expensive -- about $100 a treatment -- but if you sign up with places like Groupon and Mamapedia and AAA Deals, you can often find half-price offers. Groupon is at Groupon.com, and you sign up by your closest major city but you can check deals for others close by, so you could for instance check in/get the emails from Columbus, Akron/Canton, Cleveland, Youngstown if it would be worth your while to drive that far for a deal. And lots of times the "Cincinnati" deals are actually in the outer burbs or nearby smaller towns, so you might come across some that are reasonably close to you or that you'd be able to take advantage of them in your work travels. Groupon usually sends out at least one deal a day here in Cincinnati, so when Jane and I decided we wanted to do laser I just started watching for them, and so far two have come through.

I didn't know that it would be permanent. That alone is enough to motivate me to do it, despite the cost. I can deal with the rubber band feeling! Amazing what we women do to be beautiful, isn't it?

I like CAbi's stuff, but I was sweating not getting the dress in time since I purchased it specifically for this trip. Here's the dress I bought, along with the stuff I'm planning to wear with it, if you can see it:

http://pinterest.com/pin/208010076509211587/

My computer kept timing out before the page could load. I'll try again, though. :(
Just tried again, and this time it worked. Your dress is really pretty and will look fantastic with your dark hair. You have a real flair with accessories. I really like that tangerine-colored purse!

Oh, I hope I can get online to hear about it! :)

Or to commiserate and console!!

Report: weighed (no change, but I'm good with that given no exercise for nearly two weeks), ate reasonably.

Wow, I didn't realize that almost two weeks have passed already. Time just flies by!

TTYS! I'll check in tomorrow before we get going if I have a chance!

If you can't, I'll just keep using the edit function to add to my post, and I'll try not to write a book!

My weight was down .2 today. I went to an outlet mall after my therapy session (which I pretty much cried my way through, but it was helpful re: tomorrow night) and walked a lot there(albeit not 12 miles!!). I wasn't wearing my Exerspy, though, so don't know how many steps I took. I stayed OP all day but have been struggling mightily not to overeat tonight. I'm going to bed now so that I won't give in to temptation.

Have an absolutely wonderful vacation! I will look forward to hearing all about it!

va1erie
03-24-2012, 05:02 AM
I didn't know that it would be permanent. That alone is enough to motivate me to do it, despite the cost. I can deal with the rubber band feeling! Amazing what we women do to be beautiful, isn't it? Check with local plastic surgeons and dermatologists -- that's who usually has the laser treatments. Dark hair on fair skin is the best candidate. Light-colored (including grey) hairs are difficult to get rid of, so depending on what's there, you might still have to wax. I waxed at home the last few years, figuring it was cheaper to buy the waxing pot and do it myself, but even at a salon it's only about $20 a pop and lasts about three weeks.



My computer kept timing out before the page could load. I'll try again, though. :(
Just tried again, and this time it worked. Your dress is really pretty and will look fantastic with your dark hair. You have a real flair with accessories. I really like that tangerine-colored purse! Thanks! I just bought that purse on Zappo's. (Zappo's is great, btw -- they pay for shipping both ways and their return policy is extremely generous.) They called it "peach" but it's closer to tangerine or mango, I think. The little draped cardigan is actually not white but winter white, close to the background color of the dress. They look really cute together. Jane helped me pick out all the shoes.

My weight was down .2 today. I went to an outlet mall after my therapy session (which I pretty much cried my way through, but it was helpful re: tomorrow night) and walked a lot there(albeit not 12 miles!!). I wasn't wearing my Exerspy, though, so don't know how many steps I took. I stayed OP all day but have been struggling mightily not to overeat tonight. I'm going to bed now so that I won't give in to temptation. Yay for the down again! Sorry it was a difficult therapy session, but glad it'll help with getting through the next date. Good for you for going to bed instead of eating!

Report: weighed (down nearly 2 pounds to 5.4 under goal, yay!) I'm where I wanted to be -- 111.6 -- but I don't know why, as I haven't exercised and didn't eat especially low yesterday, though come to think of it I was pretty busy, don't remember having lunch, and ate a fairly small dinner so maybe that's part of it. I might be dehydrated, though -- I woke up thirsty. But at any rate it's nice to go off with that number on the scale. Makes me less likely to want to "blow it" I think. I've been going back and forth on taking the scale. I've decided not to and am hoping Glenn and Joe have one.

TTYS!

4EverLearning
03-25-2012, 11:15 PM
Check with local plastic surgeons and dermatologists -- that's who usually has the laser treatments. Dark hair on fair skin is the best candidate. Light-colored (including grey) hairs are difficult to get rid of, so depending on what's there, you might still have to wax. I waxed at home the last few years, figuring it was cheaper to buy the waxing pot and do it myself, but even at a salon it's only about $20 a pop and lasts about three weeks.

I've only ever had waxing once--on my eyebrows--and it peeled strips of skin right off! So I've never been willing to try it on my upper lip. Laser sounds like the way to go.



Thanks! I just bought that purse on Zappo's. (Zappo's is great, btw -- they pay for shipping both ways and their return policy is extremely generous.) They called it "peach" but it's closer to tangerine or mango, I think. The little draped cardigan is actually not white but winter white, close to the background color of the dress. They look really cute together. Jane helped me pick out all the shoes.

That's great that you and Jane have the kind of relationship that allows you to share fashion sense!


Report: weighed (down nearly 2 pounds to 5.4 under goal, yay!) I'm where I wanted to be -- 111.6 -- but I don't know why, as I haven't exercised and didn't eat especially low yesterday, though come to think of it I was pretty busy, don't remember having lunch, and ate a fairly small dinner so maybe that's part of it. I might be dehydrated, though -- I woke up thirsty. But at any rate it's nice to go off with that number on the scale. Makes me less likely to want to "blow it" I think. I've been going back and forth on taking the scale. I've decided not to and am hoping Glenn and Joe have one.

YAY for making it the weight you were aiming for before your trip. And if you don't have access to a scale, don't stress too much about it. You've already proven how good you are at making good choices, especially with regard to portion control. And if you remember to save your splurges for foods that you can't easily get at home, you'll be fine.

My weight was up 1 yesterday (no idea why). I had a very low calorie day until my dinner date, when I ate lemon pepper shrimp pasta, which sounded very reasonable from the menu description but turned out to have a lot of oil on it. And I ate a "no sugar added" dessert that was also probably a lot less diet-friendly than it sounded. As for the date itself--let's just say that I see no possibility of a relationship there, and this may be my opportunity to learn a new dating skill: how to let someone down gently.

My weight was up another .6 this morning (no surprise, given my fattening dinner), so I stayed low today (just under 1300 calories). Got no exercise, though. Feeling kind of blah today. Tomorrow I go back to school, and I am actually looking forward to getting back into the routine, even though tomorrow is one of my 15-hour days of back-to-back classes and meetings.

Hope you are having a great time!

va1erie
03-26-2012, 07:22 AM
YAY for making it the weight you were aiming for before your trip. And if you don't have access to a scale, don't stress too much about it. You've already proven how good you are at making good choices, especially with regard to portion control. And if you remember to save your splurges for foods that you can't easily get at home, you'll be fine. They do have a scale, though I haven't weighed yet. Now that I think of it I may not actually get a chance to unless I do it after I've been drinking coffee for hours, as of course I'm up before they are. I've been eating pretty reasonably, though.

My weight was up 1 yesterday (no idea why). I had a very low calorie day until my dinner date, when I ate lemon pepper shrimp pasta, which sounded very reasonable from the menu description but turned out to have a lot of oil on it. And I ate a "no sugar added" dessert that was also probably a lot less diet-friendly than it sounded. As for the date itself--let's just say that I see no possibility of a relationship there, and this may be my opportunity to learn a new dating skill: how to let someone down gently. Oh, too bad! Just no chemistry?

My weight was up another .6 this morning (no surprise, given my fattening dinner), so I stayed low today (just under 1300 calories). Got no exercise, though. Feeling kind of blah today. Tomorrow I go back to school, and I am actually looking forward to getting back into the routine, even though tomorrow is one of my 15-hour days of back-to-back classes and meetings. Hope you have a great day despite it being a long one!

Puerto Vallarta is beautiful, the condo is fabulous, and Glenn and Joe are a total hoot. They've only lived here since November but they seem to have met everyone in town. We are scheduled to attend three parties and they're hosting one while we're here, and apparently that's pretty much par for the course. Last night (Sunday night) we attended a birthday party for one of their friends at his even-more-fabulous beachfront condo with wraparound covered balconies overlooking the ocean. Everyone was bringing an appetizer plus they had a caterer, and based on the appeal of the appetizer Glenn and Joe made (asparagus wrapped with prosciutto, then grilled) I decided to eat extremely low all day so I would be able to eat at the party. I was glad I did. The food at the party was definitely out of the ordinary. I overate but not badly. There were a lot of really excellent choices that were extremely appealing, and I skipped the desserts altogether, though I did bring home a couple for Jane and Emma.

Yesterday Jane went parasailing while John and Glenn and I watched from beneath a palapa at a gay resort where we were drinking pina coladas and goggling at the crowd. Gay men like speedos, and lots of them have nipple rings. :) Puerta Vallarta is astonishingly gay-friendly for a latin-american town.

The girls got offered frozen strawberry margaritas while they were sunning themselves on the beach. They bought them, and then Emma texted her parents and Jane brought hers over to where we were sitting, "just to make sure it's okay." Good kids. Glenn said no one ever cards anyone here, and apparently 20 pesos (about $1.50) is enough to bribe a cop to look the other way.

The number of beach vendors here is fascinating. The beaches in Mexico are all public, so while bars and resorts are free to set up chairs and palapas for their guests right down to the high tide mark and even to rope them off, they can't keep anyone out. So while you're sitting in what feels like a restaurant on the beach with waiters bringing you food and drinks, you're being approached every few minutes by people selling everything from jewelry to drugs to cut-up fruit to temporary tattoos. They're very polite and move on immediately when you say, 'No, gracias' but it's kind of amazing.

My ankle was in terrible shape Saturday after two flights -- it was like a BALLOON -- but I iced it all Saturday afternoon and yesterday borrowed a vicodin from Joe and I think the combination of ice and vicodin are going to keep me mostly on my feet. I even walked down to the beach yesterday (250 stair steps! -- Glenn and Joe generally walk down, taxi back up.) Today we're going snorkeling -- an all-day trip -- and then Jane and Emma are going to swim with dolphins and sea lions on Wednesday, and Thursday we have an all-day sailing party with a bunch of friends of Glenn and Joe.

The internet here is a little tricky, so if you don't hear from me that's why.

4EverLearning
03-27-2012, 01:44 PM
They do have a scale, though I haven't weighed yet. Now that I think of it I may not actually get a chance to unless I do it after I've been drinking coffee for hours, as of course I'm up before they are. I've been eating pretty reasonably, though.

As long as you keep eating reasonably, I wouldn't worry too much about the weighing.

Oh, too bad! Just no chemistry?

Just for starters! I'm thinking Asperger's Syndrome and bipolar disorder, currently in a manic phase. Carrying a torch for his deceased wife (they started dating when they were 15). Bad body odor. And to top it all off, he was very frustrated when I couldn't follow his rapid-fire exposition on a completely new paradigm that will revolutionize the field of physics. It is very rare that I encounter someone who makes me feel intellectually inadequate, but I could tell that he was very disappointed in my lack of intelligence and appreciation for this theories. It was just exhausting. Oh, and he said that he just can't understand the appeal of food. He only eats one small meal a day (dinner). He positively inhaled his dinner, finishing it by the time I was on my third or fourth bite. There's more, but I think you have the idea. All of that being said, he was very sweet, and he touched my heart. I just don't have the energy to take him on, as selfish as that probably sounds.

Hope you have a great day despite it being a long one!

Long, exhausting, frustrating, and culminated in a breakfast-fest. Not one of my better days. Weight was down .2 (but that won't last, given the breakfast-fest).


Puerto Vallarta is beautiful, the condo is fabulous, and Glenn and Joe are a total hoot. They've only lived here since November but they seem to have met everyone in town. We are scheduled to attend three parties and they're hosting one while we're here, and apparently that's pretty much par for the course. Last night (Sunday night) we attended a birthday party for one of their friends at his even-more-fabulous beachfront condo with wraparound covered balconies overlooking the ocean. Everyone was bringing an appetizer plus they had a caterer, and based on the appeal of the appetizer Glenn and Joe made (asparagus wrapped with prosciutto, then grilled) I decided to eat extremely low all day so I would be able to eat at the party. I was glad I did. The food at the party was definitely out of the ordinary. I overate but not badly. There were a lot of really excellent choices that were extremely appealing, and I skipped the desserts altogether, though I did bring home a couple for Jane and Emma.

Wow, sounds like you will definitely be facing some food challenges on a regular basis. But you certainly handled last night's party well. Yay you!

Yesterday Jane went parasailing while John and Glenn and I watched from beneath a palapa at a gay resort where we were drinking pina coladas and goggling at the crowd. Gay men like speedos, and lots of them have nipple rings. :) Puerta Vallarta is astonishingly gay-friendly for a latin-american town.

OOH, I have always wanted to try parasailing. How did Jane like it? Were you disappointed you couldn't join in? Not that sipping pina coladas and ogling gay men in speedos wouldn't have its own charm!

The girls got offered frozen strawberry margaritas while they were sunning themselves on the beach. They bought them, and then Emma texted her parents and Jane brought hers over to where we were sitting, "just to make sure it's okay." Good kids. Glenn said no one ever cards anyone here, and apparently 20 pesos (about $1.50) is enough to bribe a cop to look the other way.

VERY good kids, I'd say! And what a cheap bribe! No wonder college kids swarm there for spring break!

The number of beach vendors here is fascinating. The beaches in Mexico are all public, so while bars and resorts are free to set up chairs and palapas for their guests right down to the high tide mark and even to rope them off, they can't keep anyone out. So while you're sitting in what feels like a restaurant on the beach with waiters bringing you food and drinks, you're being approached every few minutes by people selling everything from jewelry to drugs to cut-up fruit to temporary tattoos. They're very polite and move on immediately when you say, 'No, gracias' but it's kind of amazing.

I went on a Mexican cruise once, so I have some familiarity with Mexican beaches. I can't remember if I've ever been to Puerto Vallarta or not, but what you are describing certainly sounds familiar.

My ankle was in terrible shape Saturday after two flights -- it was like a BALLOON -- but I iced it all Saturday afternoon and yesterday borrowed a vicodin from Joe and I think the combination of ice and vicodin are going to keep me mostly on my feet. I even walked down to the beach yesterday (250 stair steps! -- Glenn and Joe generally walk down, taxi back up.) Today we're going snorkeling -- an all-day trip -- and then Jane and Emma are going to swim with dolphins and sea lions on Wednesday, and Thursday we have an all-day sailing party with a bunch of friends of Glenn and Joe.

Oh, no, on the ankle. I guess it's not surprising after two flights, but it still sucks. 250 steps down to the beach? Who needs an exercise class??! YIKES. You have some FUN adventures planned (I'm JEALOUS!!), and I hope you will be able to wring every ounce of enjoyment out of every one of them!

My weight was up 1 this morning (ACK). Stayed OP all day despite going out to dinner with a friend. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. Had a personal training session that wasn't my best (only got 2 hours of sleep last night and was exhausted during the cardio workout).

va1erie
03-28-2012, 12:03 PM
As long as you keep eating reasonably, I wouldn't worry too much about the weighing. Still eating pretty reasonably, but drinking way too much. Fortunately there's no junk food to have a wine-induced snackfest on!



Just for starters! I'm thinking Asperger's Syndrome and bipolar disorder, currently in a manic phase. Carrying a torch for his deceased wife (they started dating when they were 15). Bad body odor. And to top it all off, he was very frustrated when I couldn't follow his rapid-fire exposition on a completely new paradigm that will revolutionize the field of physics. It is very rare that I encounter someone who makes me feel intellectually inadequate, but I could tell that he was very disappointed in my lack of intelligence and appreciation for this theories. It was just exhausting. Oh, and he said that he just can't understand the appeal of food. He only eats one small meal a day (dinner). He positively inhaled his dinner, finishing it by the time I was on my third or fourth bite. There's more, but I think you have the idea. All of that being said, he was very sweet, and he touched my heart. I just don't have the energy to take him on, as selfish as that probably sounds. Good grief! What an unusual person! LOL!




Long, exhausting, frustrating, and culminated in a breakfast-fest. Not one of my better days. Weight was down .2 (but that won't last, given the breakfast-fest). Bummer on the breakfast fest and the frustrating day!






OOH, I have always wanted to try parasailing. How did Jane like it? Were you disappointed you couldn't join in? Not that sipping pina coladas and ogling gay men in speedos wouldn't have its own charm! She liked it! We were glad we learned AFTER she was back on the ground that a few years ago a parasail(or?) was killed when he crashed into a hotel!



VERY good kids, I'd say! And what a cheap bribe! No wonder college kids swarm there for spring break! One thing we haven't seen much of is college kids! Possibly because we're in a very gay area -- the students maybe stay in the big new hotels on the other side of town.





Oh, no, on the ankle. I guess it's not surprising after two flights, but it still sucks. 250 steps down to the beach? Who needs an exercise class??! YIKES. You have some FUN adventures planned (I'm JEALOUS!!), and I hope you will be able to wring every ounce of enjoyment out of every one of them! I walked down twice, up once yesterday, and my ankle is again swollen badly. John wants me to take it easier, but I really like getting out.

My weight was up 1 this morning (ACK). Stayed OP all day despite going out to dinner with a friend. Ate everything slowly and mindfully. Had a personal training session that wasn't my best (only got 2 hours of sleep last night and was exhausted during the cardio workout).

Hope your weight's back down!

4EverLearning
03-28-2012, 10:30 PM
Still eating pretty reasonably, but drinking way too much. Fortunately there's no junk food to have a wine-induced snackfest on!

Thank goodness for the lack of junk food!



Good grief! What an unusual person! LOL!

Yes, he was that! I haven't heard from him, which is actually a relief. I was contacted by another guy on eHarmony. I'd be curious to hear your gut reaction to a couple of things in his profile. In response to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I AM LOOKING FOR: "warm personable and innovative lover". In response to ADDITIONAL INFORMATION I WANT YOU TO KNOW: "I enjoy being creative in the bedroom." He's 64 years old, very fit-looking and attractive.



She liked it! We were glad we learned AFTER she was back on the ground that a few years ago a parasail(or?) was killed when he crashed into a hotel!

ACK ACK ACK. Good thing you didn't know that beforehand! Ignorance is bliss!







I walked down twice, up once yesterday, and my ankle is again swollen badly. John wants me to take it easier, but I really like getting out.

I would think that many stairs would be pretty hard on your stress fracture, not to mention your knees! Just make sure you don't injure yourself any further!



Hope your weight's back down!

Don't know, since I overslept this morning, waking up just 40 minutes before my first class! I made it, but just barely. It was another of my 15 hour days, but I stayed OP all day and didn't have to eat in the car. Hopefully my weight will be down tomorrow. I also have a training session tomorrow.

Can't wait to hear about some more of your vacation adventures!

THURSDAY: Weight down .4. Had a good personal training session. Stayed OP except for having a glass of wine at happy hour. Good day!

FRIDAY: weight down .6. Had a helpful counseling session. Took a walk. Stayed OP. Another good day!

SATURDAY: weight unchanged. Stayed OP all day. Really want a snack now but am planning to go to bed early instead. Hope you are having fun!

va1erie
04-01-2012, 05:36 PM
Sorry! Their internet went out completely. Yes, he was that! I haven't heard from him, which is actually a relief. I was contacted by another guy on eHarmony. I'd be curious to hear your gut reaction to a couple of things in his profile. In response to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I AM LOOKING FOR: "warm personable and innovative lover". In response to ADDITIONAL INFORMATION I WANT YOU TO KNOW: "I enjoy being creative in the bedroom." He's 64 years old, very fit-looking and attractive. Well, I'd say he's not getting enough to make him happy. :) It's possibl he just wants to make it clear that he is interested in a sexual relationship. Lots of 64-year-old women would be happy to just cuddle, and he may have run into so many of those that he wants to make it clear up front that he's looking for a relationship that is not just companionship. I'd give it a chance if otherwise he sounds like someone you'd be interested in, but I'd definitely get clear before meeting in person what exactly you're looking for. Get clear on what he's looking for: is he looking for a booty call, or is he looking for a relationship that if it progresses will eventually include sex? The fact he mentioned innovative AND creative definitely demands a question: what does he mean by that? Because he may be into something you wouldn't be into, and if he is, it's better to get it clear from the get go. I'd definitely ask about that in my first contact.

I would think that many stairs would be pretty hard on your stress fracture, not to mention your knees! Just make sure you don't injure yourself any further! Yeah, it's been hard on the ankle! I see my doc tomorrow.

Don't know, since I overslept this morning, waking up just 40 minutes before my first class! I made it, but just barely. It was another of my 15 hour days, but I stayed OP all day and didn't have to eat in the car. Hopefully my weight will be down tomorrow. I also have a training session tomorrow.

Can't wait to hear about some more of your vacation adventures!

THURSDAY: Weight down .4. Had a good personal training session. Stayed OP except for having a glass of wine at happy hour. Good day!

FRIDAY: weight down .6. Had a helpful counseling session. Took a walk. Stayed OP. Another good day!

SATURDAY: weight unchanged. Stayed OP all day. Really want a snack now but am planning to go to bed early instead. Hope you are having fun!Sorry to be gone so long, and sorry to have to be brief today too! I'm in unpacking/laundry/getting back to real life chaos right now, have eighty gazillion things I'm trying to do but will try to get back to a normal post tomorrow. Weighed 116.8 this morning, so up about 5 pounds from the day before we left, but it's all good.

TTYS!

4EverLearning
04-01-2012, 10:29 PM
Sorry! Their internet went out completely. Well, I'd say he's not getting enough to make him happy. :) It's possibl he just wants to make it clear that he is interested in a sexual relationship. Lots of 64-year-old women would be happy to just cuddle, and he may have run into so many of those that he wants to make it clear up front that he's looking for a relationship that is not just companionship. I'd give it a chance if otherwise he sounds like someone you'd be interested in, but I'd definitely get clear before meeting in person what exactly you're looking for. Get clear on what he's looking for: is he looking for a booty call, or is he looking for a relationship that if it progresses will eventually include sex? The fact he mentioned innovative AND creative definitely demands a question: what does he mean by that? Because he may be into something you wouldn't be into, and if he is, it's better to get it clear from the get go. I'd definitely ask about that in my first contact.

Hmmmm, you put the best possible face on it, and I hadn't really thought of that possibility. Nor did my therapist when I talked with her about it on Friday. It's been close to a week since he wrote me, and I still haven't responded, so by now he has probably given up on me anyway! Frankly, he scares me a little, and I'm not sure I'm ready to handle someone who is so explicit in terms of his sexual needs (even though he is not really explicit at all, because "creative" could mean just about anything!!).

Yeah, it's been hard on the ankle! I see my doc tomorrow.

I hope you didn't injure it any further and that you will find out tomorrow that it is healing!

Sorry to be gone so long, and sorry to have to be brief today too! I'm in unpacking/laundry/getting back to real life chaos right now, have eighty gazillion things I'm trying to do but will try to get back to a normal post tomorrow. Weighed 116.8 this morning, so up about 5 pounds from the day before we left, but it's all good.

No worries, I definitely understand that chaos of getting back to reality after a vacation. I'm glad you are OK with the weight gain. I will look forward to hearing more about your trip!

My weight was up .4 this morning, stayed OP all day (while grading statistics exams--UGH), feeling in control lately. I'm a bit heavier than I want to be but not feeling frantic about it.

va1erie
04-02-2012, 11:20 AM
Hmmmm, you put the best possible face on it, and I hadn't really thought of that possibility. Nor did my therapist when I talked with her about it on Friday. It's been close to a week since he wrote me, and I still haven't responded, so by now he has probably given up on me anyway! Frankly, he scares me a little, and I'm not sure I'm ready to handle someone who is so explicit in terms of his sexual needs (even though he is not really explicit at all, because "creative" could mean just about anything!!). I'm kind of with you. Innovative and creative could easily be euphemisms for kinky! :)



My weight was up .4 this morning, stayed OP all day (while grading statistics exams--UGH), feeling in control lately. I'm a bit heavier than I want to be but not feeling frantic about it. Good that you aren't feeling frantic! WW wants you to be +/-2 pounds of goal, which would mean many days you'd be slightly over your goal and that this should be normal. I don't like that particular way of looking at it myself, but I'm sure they've got plenty of research that backs up their plan.

Report: down 2 to 14.6, yay! That makes me feel better for sure! No exercise today, ankle is still really swollen. I see the orthopod again tomorrow morning. Hoping she'll take an xray and see the radiographic signs of a healing fracture, which would be the definitive diagnostic indicator I guess.

So glad to be home! We had such a great time -- Jane went parasailing and swam with the dolphins and sea lions, we spent a day sailing and went to parties or happy hours or out to dinner with Joe & Glenn's friends every night. Did some shopping, at some fantastic mexican food and lots of shrimp. Jane got her final college acceptances (Carleton, Hamilton, Emory, Kenyon), some waitlists (Davidson, Vassar, Wesleyan, Middlebury) and a couple of rejections (Pomona and Bowdoin) over the past ten days while we were travelling and she's narrowed it down to three: Emory, Kenyon, and Colorado College. We're visiting Colorado College, which we haven't seen yet, on Wednesday-Saturday this week for an admitted students overnight program. Then next week on Thursday we drive to Emory (admitted students program but no overnight), come back Saturday. Then Monday after school we drive to Kenyon (admitted students overnight). I'm going to try to talk her into also visiting Carleton, which she hasn't visited and which is probably the "best" school she was admitted to. (I use the quotations because in general I think the various rankings are worth approximately the paper they're printed on and would never have her create her list of possibles using one, but since they do rate extremely high in pretty much every list AND they'll subsidize a visit by admitted NMfinalists AND one of their admitted student overnights is the one April weekend we're still free after visiting the other schools, it seems silly not to visit unless she's just too worn out from all the travel, which she very well might be.)

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
04-02-2012, 11:37 PM
I'm kind of with you. Innovative and creative could easily be euphemisms for kinky! :)

EXACTLY! I can see when someone looks at my profile, and he's been checking mine daily, probably looking for a response from me. I'm not feeling it, though!! :o

Good that you aren't feeling frantic! WW wants you to be +/-2 pounds of goal, which would mean many days you'd be slightly over your goal and that this should be normal. I don't like that particular way of looking at it myself, but I'm sure they've got plenty of research that backs up their plan.

I'm with you on this one. I'd much rather stay below my goal than hover around it. If I find that I can't stay where I want to stay, then I'll raise my goal slightly.

Report: down 2 to 14.6, yay! That makes me feel better for sure! No exercise today, ankle is still really swollen. I see the orthopod again tomorrow morning. Hoping she'll take an xray and see the radiographic signs of a healing fracture, which would be the definitive diagnostic indicator I guess.

I suppose there's nothing you can do except be patient and wait for it to heal, but that's easier said than done! How are you feeling about not being able to exercise? Do you think you'll have trouble getting back into the habit again?

So glad to be home! We had such a great time -- Jane went parasailing and swam with the dolphins and sea lions, we spent a day sailing and went to parties or happy hours or out to dinner with Joe & Glenn's friends every night. Did some shopping, at some fantastic mexican food and lots of shrimp. Jane got her final college acceptances (Carleton, Hamilton, Emory, Kenyon), some waitlists (Davidson, Vassar, Wesleyan, Middlebury) and a couple of rejections (Pomona and Bowdoin) over the past ten days while we were travelling and she's narrowed it down to three: Emory, Kenyon, and Colorado College. We're visiting Colorado College, which we haven't seen yet, on Wednesday-Saturday this week for an admitted students overnight program. Then next week on Thursday we drive to Emory (admitted students program but no overnight), come back Saturday. Then Monday after school we drive to Kenyon (admitted students overnight). I'm going to try to talk her into also visiting Carleton, which she hasn't visited and which is probably the "best" school she was admitted to. (I use the quotations because in general I think the various rankings are worth approximately the paper they're printed on and would never have her create her list of possibles using one, but since they do rate extremely high in pretty much every list AND they'll subsidize a visit by admitted NMfinalists AND one of their admitted student overnights is the one April weekend we're still free after visiting the other schools, it seems silly not to visit unless she's just too worn out from all the travel, which she very well might be.)

It sounds like you packed a LOT of activity into a short time! You guys know how to live!! :D And how wonderful to come home to all that good news for Jane! I wouldn't blame her if she is feeling burned out about visiting schools, but it does seem to make sense for her to at least check out Carleton under the circumstances.

Hope you had a great day!

I was really tired today. I seem to sleep every other night, and last night was one of the off nights. My weight was up .2, stayed OP, no exercise but have a personal training session tomorrow. I had better get to bed. Tonight is one of the nights when I should be able to sleep, and I have a 7:55AM class tomorrow. UGH.

Hope you are getting back into the routine of normal life!

va1erie
04-03-2012, 11:40 AM
EXACTLY! I can see when someone looks at my profile, and he's been checking mine daily, probably looking for a response from me. I'm not feeling it, though!! :o Maybe just write back saying very directly that innovative and creative sex aren't really what you're looking for? :)

I suppose there's nothing you can do except be patient and wait for it to heal, but that's easier said than done! I'm in a boot now! The xrays showed a TEENSY line of healing, and the pain is not really any better than it was 2 weeks ago. Hope the boot fixes things! How are you feeling about not being able to exercise? Do you think you'll have trouble getting back into the habit again? Actually I think it's an excuse. I'm going to start doing what I CAN do. I'm going to go to class tomorrow and see if it works at all, and if it doesn't I'm going to ask Elyse to help me design some circuit I can do at home while I heal.



It sounds like you packed a LOT of activity into a short time! You guys know how to live!! :D Having friends who are retired there and very very social was the key -- honestly it made all the difference. We went to the beachfront bar of a gay resort the first day, and the headwaiter recognized Glenn and took us to very nice seats, got a waiter right away. We tipped heavily and the next day I walked in with the girls and he recognized me and took good care of us, and after that I knew I could send the girls down by themselves and they'd be in good hands. They only had trouble once when they went to some bistro (not the gay resort) for dinner and were seated at the edge of the patio, and a passerby started bothering Jane, asking her where she was staying and if she wanted to go somewhere to party. They handled it, though -- just hung out at the restaurant until he was gone, then took a taxi home instead of walking.

And how wonderful to come home to all that good news for Jane! I wouldn't blame her if she is feeling burned out about visiting schools, but it does seem to make sense for her to at least check out Carleton under the circumstances. I think we're probably not going to make it to Carleton. She just thinks it's not the right school for her. I personally think she's basing her opinion on too little info, but since there's absolutely nothing wrong with the three schools she's focussed on, I'm just letting it go. :)

report: forgot to weigh this morning as I was in a hurry to get to my appt. Ate reasonably yesterday, though. Going to my WW meeting for the first time in three weeks today!

Hope your day was a good one!

4EverLearning
04-03-2012, 11:57 PM
Maybe just write back saying very directly that innovative and creative sex aren't really what you're looking for? :)

That would be very difficult for me to say, which of course is ridiculous! I heard from another guy today and wrote back right away, since this one didn't scare me!!

I'm in a boot now! The xrays showed a TEENSY line of healing, and the pain is not really any better than it was 2 weeks ago. Hope the boot fixes things! Actually I think it's an excuse. I'm going to start doing what I CAN do. I'm going to go to class tomorrow and see if it works at all, and if it doesn't I'm going to ask Elyse to help me design some circuit I can do at home while I heal.

A teensy amount of healing is better than no healing! And good for you for recognizing that the fracture could easily be an excuse that would keep you from exercising for a long time. I'll bet there are all kinds of things you can do without exacerbating the injury or disrupting the healing.



Having friends who are retired there and very very social was the key -- honestly it made all the difference. We went to the beachfront bar of a gay resort the first day, and the headwaiter recognized Glenn and took us to very nice seats, got a waiter right away. We tipped heavily and the next day I walked in with the girls and he recognized me and took good care of us, and after that I knew I could send the girls down by themselves and they'd be in good hands. They only had trouble once when they went to some bistro (not the gay resort) for dinner and were seated at the edge of the patio, and a passerby started bothering Jane, asking her where she was staying and if she wanted to go somewhere to party. They handled it, though -- just hung out at the restaurant until he was gone, then took a taxi home instead of walking.

Knowing the right people and tipping heavily go a long way!! Good for Jane for keeping her head in what could have been a scary situation. I continue to be amazed by her maturity.

I think we're probably not going to make it to Carleton. She just thinks it's not the right school for her. I personally think she's basing her opinion on too little info, but since there's absolutely nothing wrong with the three schools she's focussed on, I'm just letting it go. :)

Number one lesson for dealing with adolescents: Pick your battles!

report: forgot to weigh this morning as I was in a hurry to get to my appt. Ate reasonably yesterday, though. Going to my WW meeting for the first time in three weeks today!

Well, you'll get weighed at WW anyway! Hope the meeting was helpful for you.

Hope your day was a good one!

My weight was up .8 this morning (don't know why). I did go about 200 calories over what I'd planned today, but I am sure I burned them up and more at my training session (which made me extremely hungry, thus the extra calories). I wasn't wearing my Exerspy but wish I was, because I HAD to have broken my record for most calories burned in one session. In the space of an hour, I did 80 "baby" pull-ups, 80 sit-ups, 80 burpies, 80 lunges while carrying kettle bells, 80 chest presses, and 80 bicep curls, all done 10 reps at a time in 8 circuits with not a moment of rest. That was followed by 20 trips running up and down a flight of stairs with no resting, a bunch of jumping and jump roping, and then finally, to finish out the hour, 10 laps running up a flight of stairs, across a large loft on the second floor, down another flight of stairs, across the first floor, and so forth. I was absolutely panting by the end. And I had to laugh--my trainer suggested that I should be ready to run a 5K later this summer, EXACTLY what you said!! :D

Hope you had a good day!

va1erie
04-04-2012, 10:04 AM
That would be very difficult for me to say, which of course is ridiculous! I heard from another guy today and wrote back right away, since this one didn't scare me!! :) If you ignore him long enough I'm sure he'll go away.

A teensy amount of healing is better than no healing! And good for you for recognizing that the fracture could easily be an excuse that would keep you from exercising for a long time. I'll bet there are all kinds of things you can do without exacerbating the injury or disrupting the healing. Boy, this boot is a pain. My ankle does feel better after having worn it nearly all day yesterday, though.


Knowing the right people and tipping heavily go a long way!! Good for Jane for keeping her head in what could have been a scary situation. I continue to be amazed by her maturity. She is becoming amazingly mature. It's like I can see the changes happening. I had thought she'd be shy and quiet around Glenn and Joe, neither of whom she'd ever met before, but she wasn't at all. She completely held up her end of conversations and was even making jokes.

Number one lesson for dealing with adolescents: Pick your battles! Which is the same number one lesson as for dealing with toddlers, LOL!



Well, you'll get weighed at WW anyway! Hope the meeting was helpful for you. Decided to weigh with the boot on (because it's a total pain to put on/take off) and...eek! Gotta go -- picking up Jane in less than an hour to go to the airport, need to shower!



My weight was up .8 this morning (don't know why). I did go about 200 calories over what I'd planned today, but I am sure I burned them up and more at my training session (which made me extremely hungry, thus the extra calories). I wasn't wearing my Exerspy but wish I was, because I HAD to have broken my record for most calories burned in one session. In the space of an hour, I did 80 "baby" pull-ups, 80 sit-ups, 80 burpies, 80 lunges while carrying kettle bells, 80 chest presses, and 80 bicep curls, all done 10 reps at a time in 8 circuits with not a moment of rest. That was followed by 20 trips running up and down a flight of stairs with no resting, a bunch of jumping and jump roping, and then finally, to finish out the hour, 10 laps running up a flight of stairs, across a large loft on the second floor, down another flight of stairs, across the first floor, and so forth. I was absolutely panting by the end. And I had to laugh--my trainer suggested that I should be ready to run a 5K later this summer, EXACTLY what you said!! :D

Hope you had a good day!

4EverLearning
04-04-2012, 10:38 PM
:) If you ignore him long enough I'm sure he'll go away.

Yep, and I'm really good at ignoring people when I'm uncomfortable!;)

Boy, this boot is a pain. My ankle does feel better after having worn it nearly all day yesterday, though.

I wore one of those boots for months the last time I broke my leg, and I remember how miserable it was, especially when the weather got really hot. I do remember being grateful that I didn't have to wear it during the winter, though!


She is becoming amazingly mature. It's like I can see the changes happening. I had thought she'd be shy and quiet around Glenn and Joe, neither of whom she'd ever met before, but she wasn't at all. She completely held up her end of conversations and was even making jokes.

You must be incredibly proud of her. I can only imagine......no, actually, I can't really imagine at all....what it would be like to be a parent watching your child poised on the threshold of adulthood, but it has to be pretty awesome!

Which is the same number one lesson as for dealing with toddlers, LOL!

And perhaps that strategy works with husbands as well??



Decided to weigh with the boot on (because it's a total pain to put on/take off) and...eek! Gotta go -- picking up Jane in less than an hour to go to the airport, need to shower!

Oh, no!! Weighing with the boot on would definitely be discouraging, but not at all accurate, either!


After my extreme training session yesterday, I was expecting a drop on the scale but went up .4 instead. That just plain ticked me off. I am sore all over today and did not exercise. Planned and stuck to a lower calorie day today, in light of the recent gains. :(

Hope you had a better day today!

FRIDAY: Sorry I didn't post last night. I couldn't get this page to load, and I had a lot of trouble tonight, too. Looks like maybe you are also having trouble this time. Hope you are OK! My weight was down a pound yesterday and up .4 today. Stayed OP both days. Had a personal training session yesterday that wasn't quite as grueling as the previous one, thank goodness!!

SATURDAY: I'm getting worried about you now. It's not like you to be out of touch so long.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Stayed OP. Took a walk.

Hope you have a very happy Easter!

va1erie
04-08-2012, 08:16 AM
Sorry to disappear! I thought we'd have internet access at the hotel in Colorado Springs, but the room internet required an ethernet port, which my laptop doesn't have.

I wore one of those boots for months the last time I broke my leg, and I remember how miserable it was, especially when the weather got really hot. I do remember being grateful that I didn't have to wear it during the winter, though! I've been taking it off when I'm just at home not doing anything, putting it back on if I'm going to be moving around much, although I took it off for the college tour because I didn't want the tour guide to think he needed to worry about terrain and stairs and stuff. It really is helping with the pain.

You must be incredibly proud of her. I can only imagine......no, actually, I can't really imagine at all....what it would be like to be a parent watching your child poised on the threshold of adulthood, but it has to be pretty awesome! It is, and yes, I'm proud of her and Michael, although I do really think as long as you love them and avoid doing anything major to screw them up, you've probably done as much as you can to make them turn out well, and after that it's a matter of luck. :)

Oh, no!! Weighing with the boot on would definitely be discouraging, but not at all accurate, either! Actually, LOL! What I'd started to write and then realized that I had just exactly one hour to shower, pack for Colorado (and I hadn't yet completely unpacked from vacation), and pick up Jane from school was that I decided to weigh at WW with the boot on because it's such a pain to take on and off and I weighed 118.2, which is just .2 over my WW goal. I'd been ready to take the boot off if it was going to put me over goal+2 and make me pay for the meeting, but it didn't! That was fun!

After my extreme training session yesterday, I was expecting a drop on the scale but went up .4 instead. That just plain ticked me off. I am sore all over today and did not exercise. Planned and stuck to a lower calorie day today, in light of the recent gains. :( Bummer on recent gains. Where are you around your goal? After an extreme training session, you could be retaining water.

FRIDAY: Sorry I didn't post last night. I couldn't get this page to load, and I had a lot of trouble tonight, too. Looks like maybe you are also having trouble this time. Hope you are OK! My weight was down a pound yesterday and up .4 today. Stayed OP both days. Had a personal training session yesterday that wasn't quite as grueling as the previous one, thank goodness!! Yay for staying on plan and being down .6 for the two days.

SATURDAY: I'm getting worried about you now. It's not like you to be out of touch so long. Sorry! Jane and I went to Colorado Springs to see Colorado College, one of the choices she's narrowed it down to along with Emory and Kenyon. I'm not sure I'd told you about that yet, given that we were out of town while she was getting her final responses from colleges and then only back in town three days before we left, during which time I was crazy busy. At any rate, we flew out to Colorado Springs on Wednesday night for an admitted students program.

Colorado College is awesome. They use a block plan -- you take a single class for 3 1/2 weeks, then you have a four day weekend and start over. 4 blocks per semester. Professors teach a single class each block, too (during their teaching blocks -- they also have research blocks during which they don't teach, which sounds like an amazingly cool thing for them too, and those with administrative duties have fewer teaching blocks -- the president teaches one block per year) which opens up the possibilities for field study for literally every class. A geology class might spend one week of their block in New Mexico, digging and collecting specimens. There's an English class on Shakespeare that spends the entire block in London and Stratford-on-Avon. A class in Oceanography is offered once every two years that involves a week at Wood's Hole and two weeks on a research vessel at sea. The downside is obviously that if you have a class you hate, you're totally immersed in that for three and a half weeks. And for some subjects that involve skill development like foreign language, a long period between one block of that subject and the next mean you either are going to lose and need to regain or you need to commit to practice in between -- there are ongoing 'adjunct' classes for languages that meet once a week for an hour. If you're unavailable for some of your adjunct sessions because your current block is off campus, you have to plan ahead or make up what you missed. And obviously you need to be a person who's ready to, say, read Moby Dick in two days. But if you're willing to take those downsides, the upsides are incredible. Classes generally meet 9am-noon every day (unless the professor thinks some other time is better -- Astronomy meets at night), depending on the class there might be a lab or field study some afternoons. This means pretty much everyone on campus is on more or less the same schedule. Classes start on a Monday and end on a Wednesday, followed by a 4 1/2 day Block Break until the next Monday, during which time the school offers service trips or skiing or backpacking trips, plus various student groups put together trips, some students might go home, some might just chill and do nothing for a few days. CC describes it as, "That 'school's out for the summer' feeling...but at CC, you get it 8 times a year." Jane says, "All I can think of is, if I go to Emory, and it's the week before finals, and I'm sitting there with three papers to finish and four finals to study for, and I'm thinking, 'If I were at CC, I'd be worrying about ONE class.'" The idea of having to immerse in subject she doesn't like doesn't worry her because she took Geometry in summer school -- 4 hours a day, 5 days a week for like six weeks -- and it wasn't that bad, and because she didn't have anything else she'd -rather- study to procrastinate with, she did well.

AND it doesn't hurt that the student body is as attractive as the surroundings. Our tour guide was drop dead gorgeous, funny, clearly very bright. Jane whispered, "I want to come here just so I can meet him." :) On her list of concerns about CC was that it often comes up on lists of "most attractive students" and she was worried that meant girls had to worry about makeup, hair, dressing cute every day, like at places like Vanderbilt. But these kids are attractive because they're fit and outdoorsy types -- most of the girls were wearing very little makeup, many just had their hair pulled back into ponytails, some clearly had rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats to go to class. Jane likes to look cute, but when she's under the gun she wants to know she can skip making the effort for a couple of days without sticking out like a sore thumb.

And the surroundings! OMG! Jane took this photo from her host's dorm window:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/valereee/IMG_0393.jpg

The college is just north of downtown Colorado Springs (that's Pikes Peak in the photo), with a couple blocks' walk to little restaurants and shopping. Just far enough that students tend to stay on campus to take a coffee break but close enough that you could easily decide to go off campus instead if you wanted a change of scenery. Colo Springs has a greater metro population of over a half million. It's mostly flat and students get around on bikes and skateboards -- there are racks for skateboards next to the bike racks, and both were full to overflowing everywhere we went. The food is good, the dorms vary from okay to fantastic, the political atmosphere seems to be laid-back liberal. It's sunny 300 days a year. The weather is changeable in the extreme. The tour guide said he'd gotten a sunburn Sunday when it was 80 degrees, then Tuesday morning it snowed, then the sun came out and melted the snow and by that afternoon it was 65. Thursday when we arrived it was 70 and sunny, and when I got up Friday morning it was 43 and there was a HEAVY fog over the area. I went to a panel of staff -- just for parents, as all the prospective students were attending a class -- and when I came out an hour later the sky was absolutely cloudless and it was 65. Crazy. But apparently most days even in winter there are at least some sunny warm hours -- no long periods of grey cold snowy/cloudy/rainy days/weeks/months on end.

Jane said the class was great, she loved the professor, loved the other students, everyone was talking and asking questions of each other and the prof. She told me she's never been in a class like that one. At the panels I attended with other parents, I was impressed with staff but also with the other PARENTS. When you attend these question-and-answer sessions, there are always at least a few a$$holes among the parents, people who want to ask "questions" that are really just a chance to brag. "Do recruited athletes have a hard time scheduling classes around practice and games?" Give me a break. But at CC it was MINIMAL, and even those were actually worth the brag. I felt I could like the other parents.

Jane hadn't expected to love CC as much as she did. She'd been intrigued enough by the block plan to decide to keep it on the list until she'd had a chance to visit, but she really had thought she'd probably be deciding between Kenyon and Emory and that Emory had the edge. But Kenyon is now likely off the list. She's supposed to do an overnight for admitted students there on the 16th, and she's decided that since we've already got the plans fixed and she only has to miss one day of school, she might as well still go, but they'd have to really wow her. This Thursday we drive down to Emory for an admitted students program. No overnight, unfortunately. Emory uses the excuse that they're too big and have too many admitted students, but I think that's bull. They may have three times as many admits, but they also have three times as many current students and dorm rooms as all the LACs that offer overnights for admitted students. Emory just doesn't want to deal with the logistics, and because they're a brand-name school they don't have to. That's probably one of the main things Emory has going for it: nearly anyone who has any knowledge of US colleges will recognize it as a great school, while most people in Ohio have never even heard of Colorado College and a lot of folks outside Ohio are similarly unfamiliar with Kenyon. Jane also likes that it's bigger -- she worries that at a school of 2000 (CC) or 1600 (Kenyon) if she had an experience like she had this year at her high school (which has 1400 students) when a friend turned into an enemy, will she be constantly running into that person like she does now. But I think she's really giving some thought to how important those two things are, especially the brand-name thing. At any rate all of her visits will be over on the 17th, and then she'll have just about two weeks to think before she has to commit. I'm just trying to let her make up her own mind while still pointing out things like, "In high school you're in three classes with your former friend because you're both on the same AP/accelerated track, which is a small subset of students. It's like being in a 50-person class rather than a 450-person class, and all of your courses are required of all students. In college, even in a small school, you'll likely never have three classes with the same person unless there are classes that are both only offered once a year AND required for both your majors."

Whew! Sorry for writing a book!

From last Wednesday: I wasn't wearing my Exerspy but wish I was, because I HAD to have broken my record for most calories burned in one session. In the space of an hour, I did 80 "baby" pull-ups, 80 sit-ups, 80 burpies, 80 lunges while carrying kettle bells, 80 chest presses, and 80 bicep curls, all done 10 reps at a time in 8 circuits with not a moment of rest. That was followed by 20 trips running up and down a flight of stairs with no resting, a bunch of jumping and jump roping, and then finally, to finish out the hour, 10 laps running up a flight of stairs, across a large loft on the second floor, down another flight of stairs, across the first floor, and so forth. Wow! What a workout! I was absolutely panting by the end. And I had to laugh--my trainer suggested that I should be ready to run a 5K later this summer, EXACTLY what you said!! LOL! What do you think about aiming for that?

Report: weighed (3.8 under goal, yay!) and had a fun NSV yesterday. We were up at 3:30 am to make our 6am flight, so obviously neither of us had much sleep and were kind of stumbling around getting dressed, etc. All morning, driving to the airport, going through security, on and off planes, every time I sat down I felt like I had to pull the back of my shirt down because my pants were riding down. I hadn't weighed while we were gone, so I thought I must have gained weight or been retaining water or something. Then I used the restroom at the Minneapolis airport, and I was staring at the tag of the jeans...and it said 0. Mine are a 2. I had accidentally put on Jane's jeans, which are the same brand as mine, same color, same pocket design etc., but are in a style that has a lower rise. I was in my teenage daughter's jeans and had only realized it because they were riding down when I sat. :)

MONDAY: Report: weighed (no change, 3.8 under goal), didn't exercise. Ate fairly reasonably even though it was Easter and I'd put baskets together for the "kids" (Michael was home on Easter break from Muskingum -- such a bummer that he came home Wednesday after Jane and I had already left, and we missed most of his visit), though we did order subs for dinner and I had beer with mine. :) I definitely need to figure out this exercise thing. I'm just so swamped with the final college decision travel plus the startup of the farmers' market for the year that I am having a hard time thinking of much else.

TUESDAY: Hm, now I'm back and you're MIA! Hope everything's all right. Report: weighed (no change, 3.8 under goal), didn't exercise. Grilled fish for dinner, yum! I'd overordered and came home with 2 pounds, and I thought "what am I going to do with 2 pounds of fish?" I grilled it all anyway and my husband ended up eating the entire extra! He must have eaten over a pound and a half of fish! Planning to go to my WW meeting today, though it looks like it's going to be the late meeting at 12:15 since the early meeting starts in five minutes.

I know the place we're going in Atlanta gave us problems with the internet when we were there in December, and I have no idea about the place in Gambier, so if I'm not around Thursday-Saturday and then again Monday/Tuesday, don't worry!

va1erie
04-11-2012, 09:19 AM
Today I weighed 131.8. I've been as high as 133.4 in the past couple of weeks, so I'm definitely on the high side. I still want to get to 127 again before my trip if I can. That's about 6.5 weeks away. So 4 pounds in six weeks is totally doable, and of course I understand wanting to be at your low point before going on a weeklong trip. BUT: have you considered that you may actually have been continuing to lose fat while building muscle over the past few months of exercise and that as a result you could weigh more but be leaner than before you started training so regularly and so hard? Have you measured or gotten a body composition reading recently?





Actually, I don't think you did tell me, which makes me feel better, because I was wondering if my memory was failing me!! So she's down to just three choices--that's getting down to the wire. Yes! She's culled some wonderful schools -- Carleton, Hamilton, Dickinson, Allegheny, Centre, University of Michigan all accepted her -- and she's left with three great schools. There's just no wrong choice here, I think.


Oh, my goodness. That's a very interesting system, and one I've never heard of before. I'm trying to imagine what that schedule would be like from a professor's point of view, and I think I would really like it. I would like the intensity of it, the variety, and the incredible opportunities it would open up, both for the students and for the professor. But I would think it would be pedagogically disastrous for certain subjects and especially for students who aren't extremely capable and very self-disciplined. Clearly that wouldn't be an issue for Jane or for the students at Colorado College in general, I'm sure. It all sounds very exciting and appealing.

They have a very high freshman-to-sophomore retention rate, so I don't think it's common, but I imagine the average transfer probably is due to discovering that you just don't have the discipline. What subjects do you think it would be worst for? I wondered about math, too, but they do have math majors.



This place sounds almost too good to be true!! What's the catch??

For Jane the catch is the size. She thinks Emory is a good size. I disagree with her. I think it's way too big, especially once you add in all the grad students, and I suspect she wouldn't have anywhere near the same relationships with her profs as she would at a small all-undergrad LAC, but she's the one who has to make the decision.

Forgive me if I'm asking an offensive question, but I'm curious what the tuition is at this place in comparison to other small liberal arts schools. Not at all! The tuition net of the merit awards (but not taking into account potential NMS money) puts all three schools within $2000 of each other. We had told her not to worry about money, but she wanted to know if there was some huge difference so she added it up.




Keep reminding her of that--no matter the size of the campus, she is unlikely to have to keep running into the same people over and over again like she does in high school. It sounds like she has some pretty serious thinking to do over the next couple of weeks. But the good news is that, no matter which option she decides on, the outcome is likely to be fantastic!! It's all good! Thanks, it's good to hear that from multiple people who attended small schools themselves. It's really the one thing I want her to keep in mind. I personally think Emory is too big. The undergraduate college (minus the business school and school of nursing) is 5000, and when you add in the business and nursing schools and the grad schools, it's 13,000. That's almost the size of Miami. I also think it's way too greek and possibly too southern for her, although of the southern schools, it's probably the least that way. I'm sincerely hoping we get down there and she starts noticing things she didn't notice before and doesn't like. But I'm trying to keep at least the appearance of being totally open-minded. :)



Ah, so you did see that!! I don't know how realistic it would be for me to run a race, no matter how short it is, but I'm game to try it. I wouldn't care at all how fast I went, and I'd be perfectly happy to come in dead last. For me, the accomplishment would be simply completing the race. I do wonder about the implications for me knees, though. Running has got to be pretty high impact, even though my knees don't bother me much at all these days. BTW, I saw a little piece of the Dr. Oz show today, and he was talking about why women have so many more knee problems than men do. It has to do with the fact that women's hips are so much wider and extend out so far beyond their knees. After seeing that, I held a yardstick against my hips and then straight down to the floor the way he demonstrated on the show, and the yardstick practically touched the outside of my knee, because my hips are so ridiculously narrow. For the women on the show, the yardstick was many inches away from their knees. So I guess that means that I should not have significant knee issues anymore. I think just finishing is a great goal. If you need to finish at a walk, that's okay. And if you start feeling your knees, you can even stop altogether.



Does Jane wear curvy jeans like you do? No, she's curvy but just wears normal jeans. And actually all my curvy jeans are now too big, even though they're in the smallest sizes offered. The jeans I bought that are like Jane's are from a different store than the store that carries the curvy jeans.



I can certainly understand why you would be feeling distracted and pressured. And since you're weight is low, you feel less pressure in that arena, which can't compete with the other pressures that are demanding your attention. But I wouldn't be doing my job as your diet buddy if I didn't at least remind you that you are worth taking care of, too! I know...I just keep thinking things like, 'once this is over, I can get on track.' But that's not really productive thinking. I need to be able to stay on track even when life is a little crazy, especially when it's ongoing craziness.



Sounds like your husband likes fish as much as I do! But fish is a good thing to eat in large quantities, if any food is. On Easter when I ate almost an entire plate of broccoli, I was reminded of Beck's admonition not to eat large quantities even of very low calorie food for risk of reinforcing the habit of eating large quantities. But I find that I have no trouble differentiating between foods that are OK to eat a lot of and those that are not. After all, I didn't get fat by eating too much steamed broccoli, and I don't think anyone else ever has, either! I'm with you. I wonder if there's research to back up the idea that overeating healthy foods reinforces the overall general habit of overeating?



OK, I won't worry! I don't know how Kenyon could compete with Colorado College, but I hope you have a great visit!

My weight was down .6 today. I was supposed to have a personal training session today but ended up canceling it. I haven't felt well today at all--headachy and very dizzy, and the dizziness nauseated me. I taught my classes this morning and then came home and spent the rest of the day on the couch. Even lying down, everything was spinning. I feel much less dizzy now. Stayed OP all day. Bummer on not feeling well! Hope it's just a quick passing mild virus or something!

Report: forgot to weigh this morning, arg. Ate reasonably yesterday until a wine-induced snackfest. Didn't exercise, and never made it to WW. Just too busy. I am going to do my pushups today, though.

Hope you had a great day! I'll post this to email too, just in case!

va1erie
04-12-2012, 07:26 AM
Hmmm, thank you for suggesting that I measure. I had noticed recently that my ribs are a bit more visible and that I had to tighten my wristwatch to the the tightest hole, and my clothes weren't tight, so I knew I wasn't getting bigger. I measured tonight and discovered that I am now 34-28-34. That means my hips are the same as they've been for a while, but I'm smaller on top. Maybe some of the weight is in the form of muscle. I still want to lose a couple of pounds before my trip, though, because I know that I will gain a little in a week of eating in restaurants and minimal exercise. Yeah, I was glad to head down to PV at my low number. I came back 2 pounds heavier than I went down, even with being fairly careful!



This is called an approach-approach-approach conflict, and if you're going to be in conflict, this is about the best kind of conflict to experience! Yeah, I just hope she doesn't end up second guessing herself after she makes her decision. She overthinks things.






I would guess that the biggest issues would be with courses that are cumulative in nature, and each new concept scaffolds on the previous one, as would be the case in a math course or a foreign language course. I have taught in 3-week or 5-week sessions (during the summer), and for courses in which each new topic is a "clean slate", that format works fine. But teaching statistics that way turned out to be a disaster. The students really needed more time to process and practice each step before moving on to the next, and that just can't happen when the course is so compressed. I believe she'll be required to take Calc, and of course if she's a psych major she'll have to take stats. She did take Geometry in a 5-week summer course 4 hours a day and did well.



Do you think that Jane's attraction to a larger school reflects any discomfort on her part about being too visible or having too much attention directed her way? Does she feel safer if she blends into a crowd rather than standing out? I think it's 90% fear of a relationship going sour and then not being able to get away from that person on a small campus. She thinks that because that happened to her in a 1400-person high school, the same thing might be possible on a 1600- or 2000-person campus. I just don't think it's anywhere NEAR as difficult to avoid someone on a college campus as it is in a high school, even when you're talking about the same number of people. The other 10% is just thinking that 1600 people isn't a lot of people, and at a school that has a definite personality, like Kenyon and CC, what if she doesn't fit in well with the typical student -- will she find friends. She doesn't really understand that the college has already filtered those 1600 people for you. At a selective LAC, those 1600 students are all bright and motivated and they all chose a small school over their big state U. So that 1600 people isn't like the pool at her high school, where maybe five or ten percent of her classmates were as bright and motivated and interested in an LAC.


I agree, 13,000 students is the size of many small cities, and that's too large for most undergraduates. And yet so many kids choose Ohio State. It boggles my mind.



So you've gotten smaller in the hips? Are you happy with that? (I would like to know what it's like to have a curvy body, and I'm jealous of women who are really shapely and feminine, BUT I also like my narrow hips and suspect I would want them back if I suddenly woke up one morning and had curves!!) No, the curvy 2s were too big on me as long ago as last summer. I like the fit of them, but apparently there just aren't that many women who are still curvy as a size 0. :) But fortunately this other brand (American Eagle) makes their jeans with a tiny bit of stretch so I can get find a 2 and the hips stretch a little but the waistband doesn't gap. I tried on Jane's 0 jeans right out of the dryer yesterday and could get them on but barely. Which according to her means they fit me -- apparently you're supposed to get the tightest pair you can zip up, because once they're on they stretch out and if you bought them any bigger, they'd sag.

I know...I just keep thinking things like, 'once this is over, I can get on track.' But that's not really productive thinking. I need to be able to stay on track even when life is a little crazy, especially when it's ongoing craziness.


I hope today was less busy and more on-track for you. Can you do push-ups even with a fracture? Yes, but it's better if I cross the bad ankle over the good to ensure I'm not putting any weight on it.

My weight was down 1.2 this morning (YAY!), stayed OP, did not exercise. I have a training session tomorrow, sandwiched into a ridiculously busy day that will keep me scheduled and occupied every minute from my early morning class to my evening meeting at church. I am looking forward to the end of the semester and to having some free time! Just a few more weeks! Yay for being down 1.2.

Report: forgot to weigh AGAIN. Got up, went out to make coffee after which I would normally come back to the bedroom to brush teeth, weigh, etc., while it brews, but I discovered the dog had had an accident that required over 20 minutes of cleanup. By the time I was finished the coffee had brewed and I'd forgotten I hadn't weighed. Oh, well. Off to Atlanta in a few hours, taking my laptop but I may or may not be able to get on so if you don't hear from me until Sunday, don't worry!

4EverLearning
04-13-2012, 09:12 PM
I believe she'll be required to take Calc, and of course if she's a psych major she'll have to take stats. She did take Geometry in a 5-week summer course 4 hours a day and did well.

Taking a math course in such a compressed format surely wouldn't be nearly as much of a problem for really bright students as it is for the majority of mine.

I think it's 90% fear of a relationship going sour and then not being able to get away from that person on a small campus. She thinks that because that happened to her in a 1400-person high school, the same thing might be possible on a 1600- or 2000-person campus. I just don't think it's anywhere NEAR as difficult to avoid someone on a college campus as it is in a high school, even when you're talking about the same number of people. The other 10% is just thinking that 1600 people isn't a lot of people, and at a school that has a definite personality, like Kenyon and CC, what if she doesn't fit in well with the typical student -- will she find friends. She doesn't really understand that the college has already filtered those 1600 people for you. At a selective LAC, those 1600 students are all bright and motivated and they all chose a small school over their big state U. So that 1600 people isn't like the pool at her high school, where maybe five or ten percent of her classmates were as bright and motivated and interested in an LAC.

Jane is definitely overgeneralizing from her one bad experience this year (but understandably so). You are absolutely right about the filtering process. The population of students at a small LAC will be so much more homogeneous than at her high school. I remember how mind-boggling it was for me to get to Allegheny and discover that nearly all of my classmates were smart and motivated!

And yet so many kids choose Ohio State. It boggles my mind.

ATHLETICS!



No, the curvy 2s were too big on me as long ago as last summer. I like the fit of them, but apparently there just aren't that many women who are still curvy as a size 0. :) But fortunately this other brand (American Eagle) makes their jeans with a tiny bit of stretch so I can get find a 2 and the hips stretch a little but the waistband doesn't gap. I tried on Jane's 0 jeans right out of the dryer yesterday and could get them on but barely. Which according to her means they fit me -- apparently you're supposed to get the tightest pair you can zip up, because once they're on they stretch out and if you bought them any bigger, they'd sag.

No, I don't imagine there are many women who need a curvy size 0! As for Jane's advice about the fit, maybe I should heed it. I tend to buy jeans that fit comfortably when I first try them on and then am dismayed later when they become baggy and hugely saggy in the seat.


Report: forgot to weigh AGAIN. Got up, went out to make coffee after which I would normally come back to the bedroom to brush teeth, weigh, etc., while it brews, but I discovered the dog had had an accident that required over 20 minutes of cleanup. By the time I was finished the coffee had brewed and I'd forgotten I hadn't weighed. Oh, well. Off to Atlanta in a few hours, taking my laptop but I may or may not be able to get on so if you don't hear from me until Sunday, don't worry!

I've been derailed more times than I can count by the need to clean up after my "bulimic" cat! I won't worry if I don't hear from you.

I didn't get on here last night because I had a total meltdown. To make a very long story short, I got extremely upset about an insight I had about my relationship issues (came about from a combination of my last counseling session and something that happened at the church meeting last night). I had my worst binge since I first started to diet (ate about 3000 extra calories, I think). I just felt so depressed that I couldn't muster up the energy to post last night. I had a counseling session today that was incredibly draining, leaving me more tired than I am after a personal training session! But it was also very cathartic, and I agree with my therapist that I have reached a critical turning point. Considering the flood of emotion I was/am dealing with, I can definitely forgive myself for the binge and move on. I didn't weigh this morning. I ate only about 1025 calories today and am going to bed now, partly because I am so tired and partly because I don't want to eat anything. Will check in again tomorrow night. Hope you are having a good trip!

SATURDAY: Weight was up 2.2 this morning (relative to Thursday's weight, since I didn't get on the scale yesterday). I only ate 1180 calories today, so hoping to see a drop tomorrow. Feeling blah and depressed but did not give in to the urge to overeat--credit for that.

va1erie
04-15-2012, 01:19 PM
Jane is definitely overgeneralizing from her one bad experience this year (but understandably so). You are absolutely right about the filtering process. The population of students at a small LAC will be so much more homogeneous than at her high school. I remember how mind-boggling it was for me to get to Allegheny and discover that nearly all of my classmates were smart and motivated! That's what I'm thinking, too. She actually got a glimmer of it this past weekend at Emory. As you can probably imagine, turning down Emory would be difficult partially because it's a name-brand college. As their President put it during his address to us, their goal is to "consolidate their position" as an "international destination university." I think that translates to "we want people to mention us in the same sentence as the Ivies." I was trying to hide from Jane how troubling I found this aspiration of theirs, and in particular how troubling I found it that they'd frickin' ADMIT to this aspiration. Uh, what about EDUCATING STUDENTS? And he wasn't the only person who used that phrase, either. But I digress. About halfway through the day Jane turned to me and said (I'm paraphrasing), "I was thinking about how great it would be to have that Emory sticker on the back window of my car. How I would never have to explain what college I went to, never have to realize someone had no clue what a great school it was or how hard I'd worked to get there. And then I suddenly realized if I make the decision because of that, I could be choosing a school full of people who made that decision for that reason."

Neither of us was blown away by Emory. Everything was very formal. They herded us into a big room and a bunch of people in suits lectured. It suffered badly in comparison to the experience at Colorado, which felt more organic and sincere. As a tiny point of comparison, there was a question at both places about the alcohol policy. At CC, the answer was, "CC is a 'wet' campus. As long as you aren't bothering someone or endangering yourself or someone else, you're not going to get into trouble. We want people to know they can call security for help if they think their roommate has had so much to drink she needs medical attention." At Emory the answer was, "Underage drinking is illegal in Emory's dorms." Uh, okay. At CC, our tour guide clearly had not been told to say nothing negative. We're walking through a dorm and he points out the computer lab and says, "The computers usually work, the printers can be a problem sometimes. You can send it to another printer somewhere on campus, though." When he was talking about the weather he said it was so changeable he never knew what to wear. It just felt honest. At any rate, at the end of the day at CC Jane was pumped and enthusiastic. At the end of the day at Emory she said she felt like she hadn't learned a single thing about Emory that she hadn't known when she showed up. I had to agree with her. It felt like they were phoning it in. Jane was pretty disappointed. She'd been expecting to be blown away by Emory. She walked on campus ready to LOVE it.

As for Jane's advice about the fit, maybe I should heed it. I tend to buy jeans that fit comfortably when I first try them on and then am dismayed later when they become baggy and hugely saggy in the seat. Oh, absolutely! Plus I bet there are cuts that are better for your shape. I wouldn't know which ones would be good for someone with less booty, but I bet you have students who are shaped like you are.


I didn't get on here last night because I had a total meltdown. To make a very long story short, I got extremely upset about an insight I had about my relationship issues (came about from a combination of my last counseling session and something that happened at the church meeting last night). I had my worst binge since I first started to diet (ate about 3000 extra calories, I think). I just felt so depressed that I couldn't muster up the energy to post last night. I had a counseling session today that was incredibly draining, leaving me more tired than I am after a personal training session! But it was also very cathartic, and I agree with my therapist that I have reached a critical turning point. Considering the flood of emotion I was/am dealing with, I can definitely forgive myself for the binge and move on. I didn't weigh this morning. I ate only about 1025 calories today and am going to bed now, partly because I am so tired and partly because I don't want to eat anything. Oh, dear! I'm sorry you had a bad episode! But I'm really glad you were seeing your therapist right after, and that you are able to forgive youself. Do you want to talk about what happened? No pressure! If you don't, that's fine!

Feeling blah and depressed but did not give in to the urge to overeat--credit for that. Credit you, and sorry you feel blah and depressed. Maybe just a function of the emotions the day before?

Report: weighed (up slightly to 3 under goal, but that's okay), didn't exercise. Happy to be home, but am headed back out tomorrow for the final admitted students program, this one at Kenyon. I'll be happy to have this over!

MONDAY: Hm, hope you didn't have a bad day yesterday! Jane and I are off to Kenyon, will take my laptop with me but I don't know if the hotel has service.

va1erie
04-18-2012, 06:09 AM
Once again I am amazed at Jane's maturity and insight! Few 18-year-olds would have the cognitive sophistication to make that kind of observation, no less apply it to themselves! Yeah, I'm often stunned by the things she comes up with. I'm pretty sure I didn't have her maturity at that age!

And that is very interesting indeed that CC would be so forthcoming with information that many parents would consider to be detrimental to say the least, and your reaction to it is even more intriguing. I'm less worried about kids drinking than I am about the consequences when they feel they have to HIDE their drinking. I'd much rather see them drink a couple beers in their dorm room than drive to a seedy bar where they won't get carded. I'd rather they go to a keg party than hide vodka in a water bottle. I'd rather have them openly serve at a sorority formal than have everyone 'preparty' and show up sh1tfaced because they knew they weren't going to be able to drink at the event. Oxford was 3.2 when I was at Miami, and it was the PERFECT solution IMO. Even a physically small and inexperienced drinker will start to feel -full- before she gets sh1tfaced on 3.2 beer. No one DIES from overimbibing 3.2 beer. I definitely see your point, though, and I can understand why you would be put off by the slick spiel you got at Emory. Having heard (more times than I can count) the student ambassadors (who act as tour guides) at my campus herding prospective students and their parents around, I know that their commentary is much more like Emory's than like CC's. I wonder how many people find it insincere and off-putting, like you would! Yeah, we've certainly heard our share of only-the-positives tour guides! :)






I've pretty much figured out which brands, and which cuts, are the straightest. What brands/cuts work for you? I hate to shop so much that I haven't tried many on. I tried the Eddie Bauer "curvy" fit simply because it was =called= curvy, and then when I found that I needed a smaller size than those came in I just asked Jane what she wore since we have a very similar shape. I just I find it simply amazing how much variation there is across brands, and even across different cuts in the same brand, in jeans that are all supposedly the same size. No kidding -- like these curvy Eddie Bauer. I bought three pair of shorts in a different cut, and they fit in a 2. The curvy cut is too big in a 2 in a trouser but in a jean still fits. But I am SO straight up and down, and so narrow through the hips and legs, that I'm pretty sure the waist on a smaller size would be small enough to give me a serious muffin top. No matter what style I try, the seat is pretty much guaranteed to be baggy once the jeans stretch out after wearing them for a few hours. After I've had them on for a couple of hours, I can generally take any pair of jeans off without unzipping them. I'll bet not many women can say the same! Not me or Jane, that's for sure!








No, actually I totally forgot, probably the first time I have ever had the need to post completely slip my mind. I'm just ridiculously busy. I was up grading papers until 1AM last night and just fell into bed when I was done. And I'll be up late tonight doing the same, and then I have to get up at 6 for an early class tomorrow, followed by back-to-back classes and meetings with a personal training session in the middle (after which I will have to rush back to school to observe a colleague teach a class, without even having time to take a shower or even to change out of my gym clothes-UGH). The rest of the semester is going to be a whirlwind. And I am going out of town this weekend (for a longaberber event) and will not have computer access.


Hi, Val! I'm still getting the same infuriating error message on 3FC, so am emailing instead. I had a good day today. Weight was down .2, ate about 1500 calories, had a good personal training session, feeling in control. The only notable thing about today is that, against my better judgment, I got talked into being Faculty Chair again for next year (JUST for a year this time, since someone has already agreed to do it the following year). That means another totally crazy-busy and stressful year for me. Sigh........ Do you still have the same teaching load when you're Faculty Chair? Because it seems like your teaching load should be decreased if you're taking on administrative duties or else why would anyone agree to do them?

Hope you and Jane are having a good visit! I look forward to hearing your always interesting observations!


Kenyon was beautiful, but I think Jane's ready to decide on Colorado College. She pretty much saw CC and Kenyon and Hamilton and Carleton as being basically the same -- small highly-selective liberal arts colleges with great reputations -- so once she realized Emory (and earlier, University of Michigan) wasn't for her, she was down to personal preference. She had culled Hamilton and Carleton in favor of Kenyon because if she was going to be in Ohio-like weather, she might as well be a 3-hour drive instead of a 12-hour drive from home. So once she looked at it that way, CC just sort of floated to the top. The block plan is really compelling, especially making a mid-April just-before-finals visit to Kenyon and seeing her host and host's roomies stressing over finishing up multiple classes. And CC's location wins on nearly every count. Even the ones on which it doesn't win, it still wins -- that is, Kenyon is close by, but she yearns to live somewhere that feels "different." Kenyon's campus and town is more beautiful, but it's a very midwestern beauty and again not "different." Which pretty much gives Kenyon an edge ONLY in the category of "Mom and Dad are not too far away." :) I'm afraid that's not going to win the day with my daughter. I'm actually always surprised when it wins the day with some kids!

Report: weighed (up 2 to 15.4) but I totally deserve it. Ate badly while travelling this time. I'm just ready to stop travelling, I think. Glad we're at the end of it for now. I've got an appointment today with Elyse (the woman who runs my fitness studio) to see what she can come up with to keep me in shape while my ankle heals. Way behind gearing up for the farmers' market. Gah. Too much to do.

Hope you had a good day! I'll cc: this into an email in case you can't get on here, but maybe we should just go back to NS's boards? They never gave you trouble, did they?

va1erie
04-21-2012, 08:33 AM
Tommy Hilfiger's straightest cuts generally fit me really well; that's my favorite brand. I also love Calvin Klein jeans, and sometimes I buy them because I like them so much, even though they're typically too big in the hips and legs. But at least they hold their shape really well and don't get progressively baggier as the day goes on. Ann Taylor/ Loft jeans (their straight cut; they have a curvy cut also, which obviously doesn't work for me) also fit me very well. I wear either a size 2 or 4 in a straight cut. But some size 4's are absolutely tremendous in the butt, and I can grab handfuls of fabric around the thighs. I would easily be able to wear a size 0 in a regular-cut jean, at least in the hips and legs, but I wouldn't be able to button them around the waist. I can also wear a junior size 5 in jeans sometimes. I just keep trying on different styles and sizes until I find something that fits, because there is so much variation. A friend who owned a boutique told me that quality jeans don't sag as much, even when they get stretched out, which was what made a $200 pair of jeans worth buying -- her philosophy was that you were better off with two pairs that looked good rather than 10 that didn't. She also reiterated the fit goal -- as tight as you can pour your body into, even if it gives you a muffin top because that'll disappear when they get stretched.

It's actually kind of annoying! I've always been able to do that, even when I was at my heaviest. In fact, the problem was even more extreme then, because my waist was actually 4 inches LARGER than my hips were! Yeah, I can see how it would be annoying! I guess that's why you see suspenders on so many men -- nearly all overweight men will have a bigger waist than thighs.





Yes, actually my teaching load is supposed to be reduced by one course each semester--because the university would rather do that than pay someone overload for administrative duties. But the other psych prof was on sabbatical last semester, which put us way behind in terms of our normal sequence of offerings for majors. So there is absolutely no way I can be excused from any of my teaching next year. In fact, one of the conditions I set on taking over the chair position was that I would not be docked a course as a result; it would cause chaos for the majors. That's why I'm getting extra pay for being chair instead of a course reduction. Err...or perhaps the prof who was on sabbatical could pick up the slack?



I know that I sure as **** wanted to be as far away from home as possible at that age, but of course I did not have the kind of relationship with my parents that you have with Jane!! Nevertheless, I am not at all surprised that Jane is leaning toward CC. When I read your post about her impressions of it (and yours as well), it seemed like she had pretty much made up her mind already. And it sounds like a very good option for her. I think it really is. Since she'll be avoiding as much math as possible and certainly not taking any math -series-, she'll probably do fine with that. And she totally buys into the idea of adjunct classes for languages. And everything else should be fine. Of course she'll have to figure out how to multitask again in grad school!



Was Elyse able to give you some good options? Basically I just am going to attend my regular class and she's going to adapt what everyone else is doing to avoid impact. I went Friday, it worked okay. Not -as- good a workout, but much much better than none at all.

What did you eat while traveling that leads you to say you ate "badly"? Oh, just agreed to order in a pizza when that's what Jane felt like instead of going somewhere I could get a lower calorie item, and then overeating. Nothing horrendous. Just a minor failure of discipline, really, from the sabotaging thought that I 'deserved' to eat another slice. :)

Report: have weighed 1.6 under goal for several days in a row now. Went to class Friday, yay me! (Saturday) Hubby's off with my friend Cindy's husband Dave to The Big Tap In, a craft beer festival up in Youngstown, staying with my cousin and her husband. I had decided not to go because I knew Jane was going to be down to the wire with her decision and thought I'd stay in case she was feeling anxious or something. Too much of a party for me, anyway. I can barely last through an evening of trivia much less an all-day drinking event. I'll be glad tomorrow morning. :)

Hope you're having fun with your Longaberger friends!

4EverLearning
04-23-2012, 10:49 PM
A friend who owned a boutique told me that quality jeans don't sag as much, even when they get stretched out, which was what made a $200 pair of jeans worth buying -- her philosophy was that you were better off with two pairs that looked good rather than 10 that didn't. She also reiterated the fit goal -- as tight as you can pour your body into, even if it gives you a muffin top because that'll disappear when they get stretched.

I definitely do agree that quality trumps quantity, and sometimes expensive jeans are absolutely worth the money! My most expensive jeans (the Hilfiger and Lauren) are my favorite.

Yeah, I can see how it would be annoying! I guess that's why you see suspenders on so many men -- nearly all overweight men will have a bigger waist than thighs.

There have been many times I considered buying suspenders! Thankfully, sanity (or maybe vanity) kicks in just in time!


Err...or perhaps the prof who was on sabbatical could pick up the slack?

Unfortunately, he is not qualified to teach many of the courses we need to offer (because his training is in clinical, and the courses are experimentally-oriented, which is my training).



I think it really is. Since she'll be avoiding as much math as possible and certainly not taking any math -series-, she'll probably do fine with that. And she totally buys into the idea of adjunct classes for languages. And everything else should be fine. Of course she'll have to figure out how to multitask again in grad school!

She's already thinking ahead to grad school? At her age, I didn't even know what grad school was!!



Basically I just am going to attend my regular class and she's going to adapt what everyone else is doing to avoid impact. I went Friday, it worked okay. Not -as- good a workout, but much much better than none at all.

GOOD FOR YOU for going to the class and adapting appropriately. YAY!

Oh, just agreed to order in a pizza when that's what Jane felt like instead of going somewhere I could get a lower calorie item, and then overeating. Nothing horrendous. Just a minor failure of discipline, really, from the sabotaging thought that I 'deserved' to eat another slice. :)

It's amazingly easy to fall back into old habits of thought, isn't it? And the "I DESERVE it" one is especially easy to buy into in the heat of the moment!

Report: have weighed 1.6 under goal for several days in a row now. Went to class Friday, yay me! (Saturday) Hubby's off with my friend Cindy's husband Dave to The Big Tap In, a craft beer festival up in Youngstown, staying with my cousin and her husband. I had decided not to go because I knew Jane was going to be down to the wire with her decision and thought I'd stay in case she was feeling anxious or something. Too much of a party for me, anyway. I can barely last through an evening of trivia much less an all-day drinking event. I'll be glad tomorrow morning. :)

I'm sure the scale will thank you for that decision!! So did Jane need you, and has she made her final decision? It's been a long year for her (and for you)!

Hope you're having fun with your Longaberger friends!

It was definitely fun. I did pretty well with my eating. I had a couple of extras (a piece of pie in Amish country and a cupcake at the Longaberger event), but also made very good choices overall (like eating a grilled chicken breast with a side of zucchini and squash when my friends were eating a half-pound bacon cheeseburger with fries).

The reason I didn't get on here last night is that I discovered late yesterday afternoon that I didn't have my credit card. Thinking back, I realized I had left it in the restaurant where we had eaten lunch. I ended up going back there last evening to get it (wouldn't have been able to get it off my mind otherwise), and then still had to do hours of work to get ready for today. I only got two hours of sleep last night.

Tonight I had another total meltdown. All of my struggles lately have come from indecisiveness. I'm back in a mindset I was in for years before starting to diet, one in which I devoted a tremendous amount of energy to trying to decide HOW I would go about losing weight, eating everything in sight and gaining steadily while deciding. I stayed there for YEARS, and I feel like I am back there again. I go around in circles. I worry about all the processed food on the NS plan and wonder if getting rid of it would address my continuous bloating and constipation. I worry even more about all the diet soda I drink, and often think I am going to quit it (always TOMORROW), but never make it more than a couple of hours before I am climbing the walls. I couldn't decide about the NS desserts (hadn't had any in the house for quite some time) but then broke down and ordered a bunch when they had that recent 30%-off sale. The order came while I was away this weekend. Tonight I ate at least 20 of those desserts and feel absolutely ill and nauseous. After overeating, I can't decide what to do the next day--should I go back to my usual plan, or should I try to eat "nothing" to make up for the binge? I also can't decide what to do about going back to the NS site for our daily posts, mostly because I still have some pain about what happened with Bethy, and also because I have been out of touch with everyone there for months, and going back there would mean having to deal with all of that. I don't know what I want from a romantic relationship or even if I want a relationship at all. I am kicking myself for agreeing to be faculty chair again. I can't decide what I want to do this summer. And of course I am stressed to the max from lack of sleep and having to deal with all the work of the end of the semester. My head feels like it could explode. I also feel physically miserable, not only from the overeating, but because I have ridiculous hot flashes from the medication I am taking to reduce my breast cancer risk. I get numerous hot flashes every hour, some of which make the sweat just roll down my arms and legs, making me question whether I can continue to take the drug. I just don't seem to be able to make up my mind about anything, and in the meantime I am much less able to resist food. The few binges that I have had have reminded me in an incredibly powerful way just how painful my old life used to be. And I can totally understand why Beck claims that it is the trying to decide whether to eat or not eat--the constant STRUGGLING--that makes eating issues so painful. I think I need to start completely over with Beck, because I feel like I am just losing my grip. But again, I can't make up my mind! And I don't have the time this week to really deal with it all. I am coming up on the one-year anniversary (May 5) of first reaching my goal weight (my WW goal of 138) and want to feel in control again by that date so that I really have something to celebrate. Sigh.......

Hope you are doing better than I am!!

va1erie
04-24-2012, 07:27 AM
I definitely do agree that quality trumps quantity, and sometimes expensive jeans are absolutely worth the money! My most expensive jeans (the Hilfiger and Lauren) are my favorite.

[quote]Unfortunately, he is not qualified to teach many of the courses we need to offer (because his training is in clinical, and the courses are experimentally-oriented, which is my training). So -every- class you teach next year is going to be a class no one else could teach? Because it seems to me that once they've decided they're going to serve the students rather than serving the budget, why not take the extra they've already agreed to pay you and instead cut your class load and use that money to pull someone in who can teach a section of intro? There have to be any number of people living within a half hour of campus who are qualified to teach a section of intro and would LOVE to try teaching. I'm sorry to harp on this, I'm sure you've thought of everything I'm asking. But I truly hate seeing you take on yet another stressful year if there's any other possible solution. This year has been hard and your mental health is worth protecting. And, yes, I believe you have a right to say that your mental health is more important even than whether some of your majors have to drive to Kent to take a class they can't get at your location or have to take an extra semester to get through or whatever. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, TOO. Don't set yourself up for failure. (And on a related note: think about whether some part of your subconscious is looking for an excuse to fail. "I had no choice but to regain because I had to take the entire responsibility for ensuring my students stayed on track.")

She's already thinking ahead to grad school? At her age, I didn't even know what grad school was!! I think it's just a function of growing up in a household with parents who both have grad degrees themselves. We've joked with our kids that 'babies are for after grad school.'

I'm sure the scale will thank you for that decision!! So did Jane need you, and has she made her final decision? It's been a long year for her (and for you)! Decision has to go out this afternoon to the National Merit Corporation via fax. I'm glad to have it over with.



It was definitely fun. I did pretty well with my eating. I had a couple of extras (a piece of pie in Amish country and a cupcake at the Longaberger event), but also made very good choices overall (like eating a grilled chicken breast with a side of zucchini and squash when my friends were eating a half-pound bacon cheeseburger with fries). Yay, you!



Tonight I had another total meltdown. All of my struggles lately have come from indecisiveness. I'm back in a mindset I was in for years before starting to diet, one in which I devoted a tremendous amount of energy to trying to decide HOW I would go about losing weight, eating everything in sight and gaining steadily while deciding. I stayed there for YEARS, and I feel like I am back there again. I go around in circles. I worry about all the processed food on the NS plan and wonder if getting rid of it would address my continuous bloating and constipation. I worry even more about all the diet soda I drink, and often think I am going to quit it (always TOMORROW), but never make it more than a couple of hours before I am climbing the walls. I couldn't decide about the NS desserts (hadn't had any in the house for quite some time) but then broke down and ordered a bunch when they had that recent 30%-off sale. The order came while I was away this weekend. Tonight I ate at least 20 of those desserts and feel absolutely ill and nauseous. After overeating, I can't decide what to do the next day--should I go back to my usual plan, or should I try to eat "nothing" to make up for the binge? I also can't decide what to do about going back to the NS site for our daily posts, mostly because I still have some pain about what happened with Bethy, and also because I have been out of touch with everyone there for months, and going back there would mean having to deal with all of that. I don't know what I want from a romantic relationship or even if I want a relationship at all. I am kicking myself for agreeing to be faculty chair again. I can't decide what I want to do this summer. And of course I am stressed to the max from lack of sleep and having to deal with all the work of the end of the semester. My head feels like it could explode. I also feel physically miserable, not only from the overeating, but because I have ridiculous hot flashes from the medication I am taking to reduce my breast cancer risk. I get numerous hot flashes every hour, some of which make the sweat just roll down my arms and legs, making me question whether I can continue to take the drug. I just don't seem to be able to make up my mind about anything, and in the meantime I am much less able to resist food. The few binges that I have had have reminded me in an incredibly powerful way just how painful my old life used to be. And I can totally understand why Beck claims that it is the trying to decide whether to eat or not eat--the constant STRUGGLING--that makes eating issues so painful. I think I need to start completely over with Beck, because I feel like I am just losing my grip. But again, I can't make up my mind! And I don't have the time this week to really deal with it all. I am coming up on the one-year anniversary (May 5) of first reaching my goal weight (my WW goal of 138) and want to feel in control again by that date so that I really have something to celebrate. Sigh.......

Hope you are doing better than I am!!

Wow. Okay, for me, it really, really makes me think you should strongly consider how you can reduce your stress levels for next year. Seriously, this is a MEDICAL ISSUE. It's not just that you would prefer to have less stress in your life. You need a year to get off the crazy-go-round, solidify your learnings into habits, and deal with various anxieties. And learn to cook fresh food from scratch. :) I understand that you're committed to making sure your students have the classes they need. But there has to be SOME solution that allows them to graduate on schedule while still not burning you out completely. I can't really know what the options are for solving this issue, but I know there must be a DOZEN solutions that maybe aren't ideal but are better than turning you into a crazy woman. The solution doesn't have to be PERFECT for everyone. But "slightly imperfect all around" is a better plan than "perfect for everyone else but hideous for Robin." Now is the time to find this other plan. The closer it gets to the beginning of the fall semester the fewer options you will have to find an alternate solution.

Re: Beck. Perhaps we should both go back to Beck day-by-day? I'm willing if you are. We can restart it right from the beginning together. Tell me when you want to start. I can use the refresher too.

Re: the diet pop. Is this caffeinated pop, and you're climbing the walls because you aren't getting your caffeine? I actually have a suggestion for that, if that's the issue.

Report: up 1.6 to AT GOAL. Ack. Must have a low day. Fortunately I have zero planned for the rest of this week that will tempt me to overeat. Fish tonight for sure.

4EverLearning
04-24-2012, 10:19 PM
So -every- class you teach next year is going to be a class no one else could teach? Because it seems to me that once they've decided they're going to serve the students rather than serving the budget, why not take the extra they've already agreed to pay you and instead cut your class load and use that money to pull someone in who can teach a section of intro? There have to be any number of people living within a half hour of campus who are qualified to teach a section of intro and would LOVE to try teaching. I'm sorry to harp on this, I'm sure you've thought of everything I'm asking. But I truly hate seeing you take on yet another stressful year if there's any other possible solution. This year has been hard and your mental health is worth protecting. And, yes, I believe you have a right to say that your mental health is more important even than whether some of your majors have to drive to Kent to take a class they can't get at your location or have to take an extra semester to get through or whatever. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, TOO. Don't set yourself up for failure. (And on a related note: think about whether some part of your subconscious is looking for an excuse to fail. "I had no choice but to regain because I had to take the entire responsibility for ensuring my students stayed on track.")

We have tried for years to find someone who is willing to teach a section of intro, with no success other than the one person who is already doing that and will continue to next year. (This area is not teeming with Ph.D.'s in psychology who are willing to teach for $1500 a semester--yes, less than $100 a week--the pittance that part-timers get for teaching a course.) And it wouldn't help me anyway, since none of the courses I am teaching next year are intro (for the first time ever in my career). I'm actually happy about that part, since I am totally burned out on the intro course due to all the discipline/behavior problems that occur much more often in the intro course. And I'm really as sure as I can be that I am not trying to set myself up for failure. It's really not the work schedule that is the issue. I've had insane schedules for much of my working life, and that's never been the factor that determined the success or failure of my weight loss issues. It's the relationship issues that are breaking me down, not the work stuff.

I think it's just a function of growing up in a household with parents who both have grad degrees themselves. We've joked with our kids that 'babies are for after grad school.'

You grew up on a different planet than I did!! My parents thought it was reasonable for me to go to college (I'd meet a better class of man to marry, and I'd have "something to fall back on" if, God forbid, I ever had to support myself) but not grad school (my mother warned me many times that I would educate myself out of the marriage market, because no man wants a "smarty-pants" for a wife).

Decision has to go out this afternoon to the National Merit Corporation via fax. I'm glad to have it over with.

YIPPEE!! I hope there's some major celebrating going on in your house tonight!


Wow. Okay, for me, it really, really makes me think you should strongly consider how you can reduce your stress levels for next year. Seriously, this is a MEDICAL ISSUE. It's not just that you would prefer to have less stress in your life. You need a year to get off the crazy-go-round, solidify your learnings into habits, and deal with various anxieties. And learn to cook fresh food from scratch. :) I understand that you're committed to making sure your students have the classes they need. But there has to be SOME solution that allows them to graduate on schedule while still not burning you out completely. I can't really know what the options are for solving this issue, but I know there must be a DOZEN solutions that maybe aren't ideal but are better than turning you into a crazy woman. The solution doesn't have to be PERFECT for everyone. But "slightly imperfect all around" is a better plan than "perfect for everyone else but hideous for Robin." Now is the time to find this other plan. The closer it gets to the beginning of the fall semester the fewer options you will have to find an alternate solution.

Again, it's really not the work that's the problem. I agree that I have a tendency to take on too much and that I have sometimes used my "busy-ness" at work as an excuse for not dealing with other issues in my life. The problem is that now I am having to deal with the crap that I determinedly pushed to the back burner for so many years--the relationship stuff. I knew that the decision to try dating would mean a really difficult period of adjustment and self-exploration for me, but even I have been completely blind-sided by just how intense my angst is. I am hoping that the summer will give me enough time to really deal with it and make some decisions about the rest of my life. I can also use the summer to get organized for my courses in the fall. And when fall comes, one of the things I can definitely work on to help reduce my work-related stress is to learn to delegate more, something I have never been good at. The fact that I will no longer have to make twice-weekly trips to the main campus next year will be a huge stress-reducer, too; no more 15-hour days.

Re: Beck. Perhaps we should both go back to Beck day-by-day? I'm willing if you are. We can restart it right from the beginning together. Tell me when you want to start. I can use the refresher too.

Yes, I do definitely want to start over. That's a decision I feel confident of! Let's start next Wednesday. By then I will be almost done with school and things will have slowed down a lot. I do think that both of us could really benefit from it.

Re: the diet pop. Is this caffeinated pop, and you're climbing the walls because you aren't getting your caffeine? I actually have a suggestion for that, if that's the issue.

It's partly the caffeine for sure. I also crave the fizziness and the sweetness.

Report: up 1.6 to AT GOAL. Ack. Must have a low day. Fortunately I have zero planned for the rest of this week that will tempt me to overeat. Fish tonight for sure.

Did something happen yesterday to bring about that gain, or did it take you by surprise? I'm glad that the rest of your week will be temptation-free.

I didn't get on the scale this morning. I ate about 1250 calories--no NS desserts. I took a nap this afternoon and feel a lot better as a result. I also had a nice thing happen this morning. At the end of my intro class, a student (male, probably 19 or 20 years old) came up to tell me that he thinks I am an awesome teacher. He had no idea how much he made my day. I was feeling exhausted and depressed and was dressed in my baggiest jeans and a sweatshirt, having not even bothered to take a shower this morning because I was feeling so yucky, so what he said really touched me.

Hope you had a good eating day today and will be rewarded on the scale tomorrow!

va1erie
04-25-2012, 08:33 AM
We have tried for years to find someone who is willing to teach a section of intro, with no success other than the one person who is already doing that and will continue to next year. (This area is not teeming with Ph.D.'s in psychology who are willing to teach for $1500 a semester--yes, less than $100 a week--the pittance that part-timers get for teaching a course.) Yegods! That's incredible. No kidding that no one would be jumping all over that. So it has to be a PhD to teach intro to psych? I mean...it's intro to psych. Jane's taking it from someone with a master's and probably some sort of certificate. Not that you're makign that policy, of course, but really? Grad students teach it, some places. And it wouldn't help me anyway, since none of the courses I am teaching next year are intro (for the first time ever in my career). I'm actually happy about that part, since I am totally burned out on the intro course due to all the discipline/behavior problems that occur much more often in the intro course. Well, I'm glad the courses themselves are going to be one of the upsides! What kind of discipline/behavior problems are you seeing in the intro class? Is it because there are more students in an intro class who maybe were never really cut out for college, or is it just that there's an adjustment period between high school and college? It's really not the work schedule that is the issue. I've had insane schedules for much of my working life, and that's never been the factor that determined the success or failure of my weight loss issues. It's the relationship issues that are breaking me down, not the work stuff. Okay, I'll take your word for it that it isn't the workload that is the problem.

You grew up on a different planet than I did!! My parents thought it was reasonable for me to go to college (I'd meet a better class of man to marry, and I'd have "something to fall back on" if, God forbid, I ever had to support myself) but not grad school (my mother warned me many times that I would educate myself out of the marriage market, because no man wants a "smarty-pants" for a wife). Totally different planet, though my mom and her brother were the first in their family to go to college. Their mom never even went to high school -- it wasn't free back then, and she went to work so the family could put her younger sister through school.

YIPPEE!! I hope there's some major celebrating going on in your house tonight! It felt pretty momentous! The letter is going into the mail today. She also filled out all the responses to the other colleges she got into, though she thinks she might wait to send the ones for Emory and Kenyon until the last possible minute JUST to make sure. :)




I knew that the decision to try dating would mean a really difficult period of adjustment and self-exploration for me, but even I have been completely blind-sided by just how intense my angst is. I am hoping that the summer will give me enough time to really deal with it and make some decisions about the rest of my life. I can also use the summer to get organized for my courses in the fall. You'd mentioned that you couldn't decide what you wanted to do this summer? What do you usually do with your summers?

And when fall comes, one of the things I can definitely work on to help reduce my work-related stress is to learn to delegate more, something I have never been good at. The fact that I will no longer have to make twice-weekly trips to the main campus next year will be a huge stress-reducer, too; no more 15-hour days. Delegating's good! :) I'm glad you won't have those 15-hour days.

Yes, I do definitely want to start over. That's a decision I feel confident of! Let's start next Wednesday. By then I will be almost done with school and things will have slowed down a lot. I do think that both of us could really benefit from it. Okay, next Wednesday. Which book do you want to use?

It's partly the caffeine for sure. I also crave the fizziness and the sweetness. So you have three things you like, and probably none of them are really GOOD for you. :D But you're trying to go cold turkey on all of them at once. Wean yourself, and do it from one thing at a time. Caffeine's one place to start because you can't taste it and just have to wean yourself from the addiction rather than the taste. I cut my caffeine consumption by ~2/3 about fifteen years ago by switching to half-decaff, then slowly making my coffee weaker until I got it slightly over half-strength compared to what is normal. You could start by alternating caff with decaff throughout the day. Once you get used to that, go to 1 caff, 2 decaff, etc. I think I read that caffeine doesn't actually help with normal morning grogginess but just causes you to feel groggy because your body is looking for the caffeine it always gets in the morning. I've been thinking about cutting my caffeine again. Trouble is I'll be cutting John's too. I wonder if I could do it without telling him and do it slowly enough that he doesn't notice? Hmmmm.... :) At any rate, once you've gotten yourself off the caffeine, you could start switching yourself to either something unsweetened or something unfizzy the same way -- mix soda water or sparkling water into your pop, just a barely noticeably amount at first and then more and more as you get used to it until you're drinking plain fizzy water. Then once you're used to that, same thing for moving from fizzy to plain water. Although I'm not a huge fan of water myself. I enjoy having some sort of flavor, so if it were me I'd probably move toward iced green tea or something. But I guess it would probably be ideal to move toward plain water. My daughter has a plain water habit -- she occasionally will have a sprite zero or a lemonade, but she just drinks water in restaurants more often than not.

Did something happen yesterday to bring about that gain, or did it take you by surprise? I'm glad that the rest of your week will be temptation-free. I'm not actually sure! I think it might be partially salt and a delayed reaction to all the travel.

I didn't get on the scale this morning. I ate about 1250 calories--no NS desserts. Yay, you! I also had a nice thing happen this morning. At the end of my intro class, a student (male, probably 19 or 20 years old) came up to tell me that he thinks I am an awesome teacher. He had no idea how much he made my day. I was feeling exhausted and depressed and was dressed in my baggiest jeans and a sweatshirt, having not even bothered to take a shower this morning because I was feeling so yucky, so what he said really touched me. How cool is that!

report: weighed and still was at 117 today, but I think that may be a function of being slightly constipated from all the travelling. I ate low yesterday and had a GINORMOUS salad for lunch, so I suspect I'll be lower tomorrow. :) Went to class this morning.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
04-25-2012, 10:40 PM
Yegods! That's incredible. No kidding that no one would be jumping all over that. So it has to be a PhD to teach intro to psych? I mean...it's intro to psych. Jane's taking it from someone with a master's and probably some sort of certificate. Not that you're makign that policy, of course, but really? Grad students teach it, some places.

Kent State allows graduate students to teach intro, too, but only their OWN grad students. And so far there hasn't been a grad student willing to drive three hours round trip to teach one class here (no surprise). The fact that the classes are during regular business hours also makes it very hard to find anyone who is able to teach at that time, no less willing to!

Well, I'm glad the courses themselves are going to be one of the upsides! What kind of discipline/behavior problems are you seeing in the intro class? Is it because there are more students in an intro class who maybe were never really cut out for college, or is it just that there's an adjustment period between high school and college? Okay, I'll take your word for it that it isn't the workload that is the problem.

Yes, getting to teach only the psych majors is a huge plus. The intro classes are large, young, and include lots of high school students and students who have to take the course but have no interest in it. Because we are open admissions, there are lots of people in intro who are academically and intellectually incapable of doing college work, so they find the course very frustrating. The intro course acts as a filter that many people never get past, so the problem students get weeded out and don't move on to any of the other psych courses. In addition to the academic issues, there are lots of behavior problems, like people who constantly chatter and interrupt the class, people who play on the internet or text their friends all through class, and so forth--minor stuff, for the most part, but very annoying in the aggregate.

Totally different planet, though my mom and her brother were the first in their family to go to college. Their mom never even went to high school -- it wasn't free back then, and she went to work so the family could put her younger sister through school.

None of my grandparents went to high school. Neither of my grandmothers went past 6th grade.

It felt pretty momentous! The letter is going into the mail today. She also filled out all the responses to the other colleges she got into, though she thinks she might wait to send the ones for Emory and Kenyon until the last possible minute JUST to make sure. :)

Hmmmm, the classic approach-approach conflict! When all of the options are good, the tendency is to procrastinate as long as possible, since making up a decision means forever letting go of options that would have been advantageous if they had been pursued.




You'd mentioned that you couldn't decide what you wanted to do this summer? What do you usually do with your summers?

What I meant when I said I couldn't decide what to do this summer is that I have a long list of things I need or would like to do, but don't have the time or the money to do all of them--lots of different travel options, some major work I would like to do on my condo, the possibility of going to the Biggest Loser spa in Niagara Falls, stuff like that. My mind just swims with all the options.

Delegating's good! :) I'm glad you won't have those 15-hour days.

I have trouble seeing delegating as good, because I was told over and over and over as a kid that, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself!

Okay, next Wednesday. Which book do you want to use?

Hmmmm. I think I would prefer to use the second book, because I like the memory box, the distractions box, and the daily weigh-ins, none of which are in the first book. But I think I might like to stick to the one-task-a-day format of the first book, since I think I can work through them pretty quickly this time around. What would work best for you?

So you have three things you like, and probably none of them are really GOOD for you. :D But you're trying to go cold turkey on all of them at once. Wean yourself, and do it from one thing at a time. Caffeine's one place to start because you can't taste it and just have to wean yourself from the addiction rather than the taste. I cut my caffeine consumption by ~2/3 about fifteen years ago by switching to half-decaff, then slowly making my coffee weaker until I got it slightly over half-strength compared to what is normal. You could start by alternating caff with decaff throughout the day. Once you get used to that, go to 1 caff, 2 decaff, etc. I think I read that caffeine doesn't actually help with normal morning grogginess but just causes you to feel groggy because your body is looking for the caffeine it always gets in the morning. I've been thinking about cutting my caffeine again. Trouble is I'll be cutting John's too. I wonder if I could do it without telling him and do it slowly enough that he doesn't notice? Hmmmm.... :) At any rate, once you've gotten yourself off the caffeine, you could start switching yourself to either something unsweetened or something unfizzy the same way -- mix soda water or sparkling water into your pop, just a barely noticeably amount at first and then more and more as you get used to it until you're drinking plain fizzy water. Then once you're used to that, same thing for moving from fizzy to plain water. Although I'm not a huge fan of water myself. I enjoy having some sort of flavor, so if it were me I'd probably move toward iced green tea or something. But I guess it would probably be ideal to move toward plain water. My daughter has a plain water habit -- she occasionally will have a sprite zero or a lemonade, but she just drinks water in restaurants more often than not.

This is a case where my education gets in my way!! I can spend hours mulling over all of the various theories of addiction and trying to derive specific strategies for breaking an addiction, which often contradict each other. Your suggestions make as much sense as anything I've tried previously, and I already know that the cold turkey approach doesn't work for me. It is definitely true that caffeine addiction causes morning grogginess. I know I would probably feel less anxious and be able to sleep much better if I could wean myself off the caffeine. I believe I would eat less, too, although I've never been able to abstain from soda long enough to test that! I disagree, though, that the caffeine is tasteless. I love the taste of regular Diet Coke but not the taste of decaf Diet Coke. I can tell the difference instantly. I absolutely think that drinking plain water would be the healthiest alternative in every way.



report: weighed and still was at 117 today, but I think that may be a function of being slightly constipated from all the travelling. I ate low yesterday and had a GINORMOUS salad for lunch, so I suspect I'll be lower tomorrow. :) Went to class this morning.

YAY you for going to class. Hopefully your plumbing is humming, and your weight will reflect it in the morning!

I finally got on the scale this morning; weighed 132.4 (up 1.6 from the last time I weighed, which was last Thursday), not as bad as I was expecting. I made it a point to dress up today so that I would feel better and be more motivated, despite the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (couldn't fall asleep because of the nap I took yesterday afternoon, I suspect). Stayed OP today but am not feeling entirely confident of mys self-control. I am looking forward to getting back to the basic Beck tasks, which I have gradually but inexorably allowed to slide.

I'm off to bed before I collapse on top of my laptop. Tomorrow is my last day of class. HOORAY!

va1erie
04-26-2012, 09:11 AM
Kent State allows graduate students to teach intro, too, but only their OWN grad students. And so far there hasn't been a grad student willing to drive three hours round trip to teach one class here (no surprise). The fact that the classes are during regular business hours also makes it very hard to find anyone who is able to teach at that time, no less willing to! Well, that's an interesting rule. It pretty much guarantees all classes taught more than half an hour or so from the main campus will be taught by PhDs, which sort of means the education at the branch campuses is...well, the LACs love to talk about how no classes are taught by grad assistants. :) Not that a grad assistant couldn't be a perfectly good teacher, but most of them are short on experience and very possibly short on interest in teaching. I'm sure there are numerous exceptions -- a good friend went for her PhD in English after having taught art for years -- but I remember when I was a teaching assistant and had to teach a couple of classes when the prof I worked for was unavailable. If I'd been one of those students I'd have asked for my money back. :)

Yes, getting to teach only the psych majors is a huge plus. I can imagine! Maybe overall it's a fair tradeoff! :)

Hmmmm, the classic approach-approach conflict! When all of the options are good, the tendency is to procrastinate as long as possible, since making up a decision means forever letting go of options that would have been advantageous if they had been pursued. Exactly. Plus she's probably more likely than average to second-guess herself, even though she probably put in five times the amount of time, research and thought the average student puts into selecting a college. Maybe those two go together! :)

What I meant when I said I couldn't decide what to do this summer is that I have a long list of things I need or would like to do, but don't have the time or the money to do all of them--lots of different travel options, some major work I would like to do on my condo, the possibility of going to the Biggest Loser spa in Niagara Falls, stuff like that. My mind just swims with all the options. I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have! :)



I have trouble seeing delegating as good, because I was told over and over and over as a kid that, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself! I hear you. Because I just KNOW I could have done a better job. :) I try to be judicious about how perfect "right" has to be. I have volunteers who do the newsletter, the website, the volunteer coordination, and the facebook page for the farmers' market. None of the four of them do it as well as I'd like and I know if I were doing any one of those jobs rather than supervising all four in addition to all the other things I'm doing for the market, I'd be kicking butt. KICKING BUTT. But I do not WANT that extra work, and the fact is the jobs are getting done well enough to accomplish most of what they're supposed to. As well as the time I don't have to spend doing these jobs, I value the fact that four more people are invested in the market, as each of those people has a community of people around them who because they know someone involved are also that much more connected to the market themselves. To me it seems like having other people invested in an organization's goals because they've done important work without being micromanaged is one of the intangible benefits that can ONLY be accomplished via delegation.

Hmmmm. I think I would prefer to use the second book, because I like the memory box, the distractions box, and the daily weigh-ins, none of which are in the first book. But I think I might like to stick to the one-task-a-day format of the first book, since I think I can work through them pretty quickly this time around. What would work best for you? I'd prefer to use the second book, too. Do you want to try to work through the second book using a task a day as our default? We can always agree for a particular upcoming task that we need more than a day for it.



This is a case where my education gets in my way!! I can spend hours mulling over all of the various theories of addiction and trying to derive specific strategies for breaking an addiction, which often contradict each other. Yeah, I guess you don't really need my thoughts on this so much! :) I've decided I'm going to try to drop to 1/4 caff/3/4 decaff and see if my hubby notices. :)

It is definitely true that caffeine addiction causes morning grogginess. I know I would probably feel less anxious and be able to sleep much better if I could wean myself off the caffeine. I believe I would eat less, too, although I've never been able to abstain from soda long enough to test that! Why do you think you'd eat less without caffeine? Is that something that's been connected to caffeine? I disagree, though, that the caffeine is tasteless. I love the taste of regular Diet Coke but not the taste of decaf Diet Coke. I can tell the difference instantly. No kidding! I only drink decaff pop (because I never drink pop early in the day) so I guess I haven't compared them side-by-side. I can't tell the difference between coffee and decaff, or at least again I've never compared them side-by-side but I'm not aware of being able to tell the difference.


I finally got on the scale this morning; weighed 132.4 (up 1.6 from the last time I weighed, which was last Thursday), not as bad as I was expecting. I made it a point to dress up today so that I would feel better and be more motivated, despite the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (couldn't fall asleep because of the nap I took yesterday afternoon, I suspect). Stayed OP today but am not feeling entirely confident of mys self-control. I am looking forward to getting back to the basic Beck tasks, which I have gradually but inexorably allowed to slide.

I'm off to bed before I collapse on top of my laptop. Tomorrow is my last day of class. HOORAY! Hooray! Then, what, finals? So you'll be more or less finished by this time next week?

Report: weighed (no change, and also no progress!), no exercise today, ate too much pizza last night. I really do need to restart Beck and start doing my cards every day again. :)

Hope you had a great last day of classes!

4EverLearning
04-27-2012, 01:29 AM
Well, that's an interesting rule. It pretty much guarantees all classes taught more than half an hour or so from the main campus will be taught by PhDs, which sort of means the education at the branch campuses is...well, the LACs love to talk about how no classes are taught by grad assistants. :) Not that a grad assistant couldn't be a perfectly good teacher, but most of them are short on experience and very possibly short on interest in teaching. I'm sure there are numerous exceptions -- a good friend went for her PhD in English after having taught art for years -- but I remember when I was a teaching assistant and had to teach a couple of classes when the prof I worked for was unavailable. If I'd been one of those students I'd have asked for my money back. :)

EXACTLY!!! Our big selling point compared to the main campus is that our students are taught by Ph.D.'s, while the students at the main campus are taught largely by grad assistants. All of our PR describes us as having "all of the resources of a large university, in the atmosphere of a small liberal arts college." I taught as a grad student and was truly TERRIBLE--beyond terrible-when I started. But that's how I learned to teach.

I can imagine! Maybe overall it's a fair tradeoff! :)

I think so!

Exactly. Plus she's probably more likely than average to second-guess herself, even though she probably put in five times the amount of time, research and thought the average student puts into selecting a college. Maybe those two go together! :)

Those two things absolutely go together. It's the effort that was expended, and the vast information that was gathered, that make the decision so difficult--kinda like when I can't make up my mind how to deal with my diet soda addiction, because I have so much information!

I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have! :)



I hear you. Because I just KNOW I could have done a better job. :) I try to be judicious about how perfect "right" has to be. I have volunteers who do the newsletter, the website, the volunteer coordination, and the facebook page for the farmers' market. None of the four of them do it as well as I'd like and I know if I were doing any one of those jobs rather than supervising all four in addition to all the other things I'm doing for the market, I'd be kicking butt. KICKING BUTT. But I do not WANT that extra work, and the fact is the jobs are getting done well enough to accomplish most of what they're supposed to. As well as the time I don't have to spend doing these jobs, I value the fact that four more people are invested in the market, as each of those people has a community of people around them who because they know someone involved are also that much more connected to the market themselves. To me it seems like having other people invested in an organization's goals because they've done important work without being micromanaged is one of the intangible benefits that can ONLY be accomplished via delegation.

I would imagine that having kids would teach you at least a little about delegating! But I never thought of how delegating would make other people more invested in an organization, but I think you are absolutely right. I do know that there's something fundamentally conceited in believing that no one else can do certain tasks as well as I do. It's also a bad attitude for someone whose job is to teach others to perform tasks that she can obviously do better than they can! I will try to remember what you said about the commitment issue.

I'd prefer to use the second book, too. Do you want to try to work through the second book using a task a day as our default? We can always agree for a particular upcoming task that we need more than a day for it.

Sounds perfect. I'm really looking forward to getting back into it again.



Yeah, I guess you don't really need my thoughts on this so much! :) I've decided I'm going to try to drop to 1/4 caff/3/4 decaff and see if my hubby notices. :)

On the contrary, I ALWAYS value your input. You are incredibly smart, you know!

Why do you think you'd eat less without caffeine? Is that something that's been connected to caffeine?

From the perspective of my personal experience, I know that there have been many times that I've gone out to the store to buy soda to wash my food down with, and many times that I've thought it wouldn't be worth eating something if there is no soda to go with it. Crazy!! Also, I've read that a caffeine "high" can feel a lot like hunger. And caffeine is a diuretic, and thirst can mimic hunger as well. But the biggest factor is the artificial sweetener in diet soda. The short explanation is that the sweet taste acts as a conditioned stimulus that causes the release of insulin as a conditioned response, and the end result of that is going to be hypoglycemia and increased hunger. That is probably the biggest reason that so many people who guzzle diet soda are overweight. (And I have noticed that, every time I have my hypoglycemic episodes in the late morning, it is after I have consumed a lot of diet soda with breakfast.)

No kidding! I only drink decaff pop (because I never drink pop early in the day) so I guess I haven't compared them side-by-side. I can't tell the difference between coffee and decaff, or at least again I've never compared them side-by-side but I'm not aware of being able to tell the difference.

So you're saying that you avoid caffeine late in the day? I guzzle it all day long, right up to bed time--a bad habit, to be sure. I realized today that I spend at least $50 a week on diet soda. I could do a lot with that money!! I also remember that, when I was a grad student and had to live on an austerity budget (my assistantship paid $333 a month, and that was my only income), Tab was my single biggest expense. I actually spent more money continuously feeding quarters into the soda machine than I did for rent! I've been consuming vast quantities of diet soda since Tab was first invented when I was 6 or 7 years old. My mother let me have as much of it as I wanted. I think she thought that it would somehow magically make me lose weight. (If only!!)

Hooray! Then, what, finals? So you'll be more or less finished by this time next week?

Yep, my finals are all on Monday and Tuesday. After that I'll still have a lot of grading to do, along with a couple of committee projects and reports to finish up, and a number of meetings. But things will definitely slow down.

Report: weighed (no change, and also no progress!), no exercise today, ate too much pizza last night. I really do need to restart Beck and start doing my cards every day again. :)

I've only had pizza once since starting to diet. I used to practically live on pizza. That's a really hard food to eat in reasonable amounts.

My weight was up .6 today (took me by surprise and made me think UNFAIR!). I had a good personal training session and stayed OP. I went with a colleague to see "Pirates of Penzance" at the campus PAC. It was awesome. And it was so nice to see even the young members of the audience thoroughly enjoying a show that was so old-fashioned and "clean"!

Hope you had a better day today!

va1erie
04-27-2012, 04:45 AM
You are incredibly smart, you know! :o Back atcha. :)

From the perspective of my personal experience, I know that there have been many times that I've gone out to the store to buy soda to wash my food down with, and many times that I've thought it wouldn't be worth eating something if there is no soda to go with it. Crazy!! That's a new one on me.

Also, I've read that a caffeine "high" can feel a lot like hunger. And caffeine is a diuretic, and thirst can mimic hunger as well. But the biggest factor is the artificial sweetener in diet soda. The short explanation is that the sweet taste acts as a conditioned stimulus that causes the release of insulin as a conditioned response, and the end result of that is going to be hypoglycemia and increased hunger. That is probably the biggest reason that so many people who guzzle diet soda are overweight. (And I have noticed that, every time I have my hypoglycemic episodes in the late morning, it is after I have consumed a lot of diet soda with breakfast.) Yeah, I read an article a while back, maybe several, about the connection between overweight and drinking diet soda. I remember wishing I could read the actual report, because newspaper reporters are so often either clueless or intentionally obtuse when it comes to interpreting anything that could possibly be stretched to "Diet Soda Makes You Fat!" Wow, on the hypoglycemic episodes after lots of soda earlier! Hm, I do also remember reading something about artificial sweeteners' sweet taste even in the absence of actual sugar causing an insulin release.

So you're saying that you avoid caffeine late in the day? Completely. In college I started to notice a connection between my insomnia (back then it was the kind that makes it hard to fall asleep, a problem I'd had since puberty) and caffeine and started cutting it out late in the day. Even a small amount after mid-to-late afternoon and I likely won't sleep all night. Occasionally I've lain awake at night wondering why I couldn't get to sleep and realized that, crap, it was those Oreos. For some reason I tend to "forget" that chocolate contains caffeine once I've had a glass of wine. :) For several years tannin caused me issues too and I couldn't drink more than a single glass of red wine in the evening, but that's gone away since I started menopause, which was a pleasant surprise.

I guzzle it all day long, right up to bed time--a bad habit, to be sure. I realized today that I spend at least $50 a week on diet soda. I could do a lot with that money!! Wow! That is a lot of diet soda! Yeah, $50 a week...there's your trip to Biggest Loser, girl! So you must not often be actually =thirsty= when you drink pop? I'm not actually thirsty when I drink coffee, but I'm not sure I ever drink pop unless I'm thirsty. Or maybe your body expects so much liquid that you -do- feel thirsty? Or at least "thirsty" maybe? Man, if I drank that much liquid I'd never be able to leave the house! I have a bladder the size of a thimble.

I also remember that, when I was a grad student and had to live on an austerity budget (my assistantship paid $333 a month, and that was my only income), Tab was my single biggest expense. I actually spent more money continuously feeding quarters into the soda machine than I did for rent! I've been consuming vast quantities of diet soda since Tab was first invented when I was 6 or 7 years old. My mother let me have as much of it as I wanted. I think she thought that it would somehow magically make me lose weight. (If only!!) NO WONDER you're climbing the walls when you try to go cold turkey! You must almost literally drink nothing but diet soda? Is there anything else you enjoy drinking?

This is making me think about my own drinking habits. I need to drink more water. Literally the only time I drink it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to try to develop a new habit of water drinking. I've developed a habit of ordering a glass of soda water when I order a glass of wine in restaurants and then requiring myself to drink the soda water before I can order another glass of wine, but maybe I should just make it WATER instead. Soda water's really not great for me either. I read somewhere that whatever makes soft drinks carbonated leaches calcium from your system, and I assume that means soda water is the same. I wonder if it's the same for naturally sparkling waters? And maybe I should make it a glass of water BEFORE each glass of wine -- that'll automatically make me drink more water, and it'll make each glass of wine "cost" me more. And if there's any element of -thirst- to wanting a glass of wine, maybe it'll even cut my wine consumption which would be a very good thing. Maybe I should start having a glass of water before every pop and coffee, too. Gah, not coffee. I can face it for the pop. I don't drink that much of it, and since I do drink it because I'm thirsty a glass of water might actually keep me from drinking the pop. But water in the morning when I want hot coffee sounds really unappealing. Maybe I'll start with water-before-pop-or-wine and reconsider it for the coffee at some later date.

I've only had pizza once since starting to diet. I used to practically live on pizza. That's a really hard food to eat in reasonable amounts. Haven't you tried the NS pizzas? They're actually not bad. I liked the frozen ones best, but the shelf stable were okay too. Yes, pizza is really hard to eat in reasonable quantities. And this new pizza place that just opened up nearby delivers pizza that reminds me of my favorite pizza from college, a unique recipe that I've never found anywhere else and that is no longer made by that restaurant so I couldn't even have it when I was visiting Oxford. Bad news all around.

My weight was up .6 today (took me by surprise and made me think UNFAIR!). I had a good personal training session and stayed OP. I went with a colleague to see "Pirates of Penzance" at the campus PAC. It was awesome. And it was so nice to see even the young members of the audience thoroughly enjoying a show that was so old-fashioned and "clean"!

Hope you had a better day today!

report: Gah! Forgot to weigh again! And I had a snackfest last night, bumming because it probably means I'm up. Class is cancelled today, though I can go to the 9:00 session with Giselle, so I may try to do that. Definitely need to eat light today. At least the plumbing's humming again.

4EverLearning
04-27-2012, 11:52 PM
Yeah, I read an article a while back, maybe several, about the connection between overweight and drinking diet soda. I remember wishing I could read the actual report, because newspaper reporters are so often either clueless or intentionally obtuse when it comes to interpreting anything that could possibly be stretched to "Diet Soda Makes You Fat!" Wow, on the hypoglycemic episodes after lots of soda earlier! Hm, I do also remember reading something about artificial sweeteners' sweet taste even in the absence of actual sugar causing an insulin release.

You are certainly right about the sensational way that scientific research is reported in the news. In one of my classes I have the students do a project in which they compare an actual journal article to popular media reports of the same study. It's an eye-opener.

Completely. In college I started to notice a connection between my insomnia (back then it was the kind that makes it hard to fall asleep, a problem I'd had since puberty) and caffeine and started cutting it out late in the day. Even a small amount after mid-to-late afternoon and I likely won't sleep all night. Occasionally I've lain awake at night wondering why I couldn't get to sleep and realized that, crap, it was those Oreos. For some reason I tend to "forget" that chocolate contains caffeine once I've had a glass of wine. :) For several years tannin caused me issues too and I couldn't drink more than a single glass of red wine in the evening, but that's gone away since I started menopause, which was a pleasant surprise.

If you react to Oreos, you are way more sensitive to caffeine than I am. But I am sure that some of my sleep difficulties are related to my caffeine consumption late in the day.

Wow! That is a lot of diet soda! Yeah, $50 a week...there's your trip to Biggest Loser, girl! So you must not often be actually =thirsty= when you drink pop? I'm not actually thirsty when I drink coffee, but I'm not sure I ever drink pop unless I'm thirsty. Or maybe your body expects so much liquid that you -do- feel thirsty? Or at least "thirsty" maybe? Man, if I drank that much liquid I'd never be able to leave the house! I have a bladder the size of a thimble.

I think diet soda actually makes me thirstier. I almost always feel thirsty. I always attributed that to my diabetes, so I expected it to go away when the diabetes was resolved, but that hasn't happened. And I do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, another thing I expected to improve when I got rid of diabetes, but that hasn't happened either.

NO WONDER you're climbing the walls when you try to go cold turkey! You must almost literally drink nothing but diet soda? Is there anything else you enjoy drinking?

Yep, on the vast majority of days, I drink nothing but soda (and, yes, that does mean that I consume no water at all on most days, I'm sorry to say). I hate the thought of consuming calories in liquid form, and there's no liquid that I enjoy enough to justify the calories. I need to just drink WATER instead of soda. The lack of water may be part of my constipation issues, even though I'm obviously consuming a tremendous amount of fluid.

This is making me think about my own drinking habits. I need to drink more water. Literally the only time I drink it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to try to develop a new habit of water drinking. I've developed a habit of ordering a glass of soda water when I order a glass of wine in restaurants and then requiring myself to drink the soda water before I can order another glass of wine, but maybe I should just make it WATER instead. Soda water's really not great for me either. I read somewhere that whatever makes soft drinks carbonated leaches calcium from your system, and I assume that means soda water is the same. I wonder if it's the same for naturally sparkling waters? And maybe I should make it a glass of water BEFORE each glass of wine -- that'll automatically make me drink more water, and it'll make each glass of wine "cost" me more. And if there's any element of -thirst- to wanting a glass of wine, maybe it'll even cut my wine consumption which would be a very good thing. Maybe I should start having a glass of water before every pop and coffee, too. Gah, not coffee. I can face it for the pop. I don't drink that much of it, and since I do drink it because I'm thirsty a glass of water might actually keep me from drinking the pop. But water in the morning when I want hot coffee sounds really unappealing. Maybe I'll start with water-before-pop-or-wine and reconsider it for the coffee at some later date.

Sounds like we both need to work on the water issue! I've tried the strategy of forcing myself to drink a glass of water before having soda, but I never stuck with it for very long. If you can do it, I think it's a good idea, though. As far as sparkling water goes, I don't think it's a major concern. I'm not absolutely positive, but almost positive, that it's actually the phosphoric acid that causes the calcium leaching, and I believe that phosphoric acid is only in colas, not other sodas or sparkling water. I just checked the non-cola diet sodas in my fridge, and none of them contain phosphoric acid.

Haven't you tried the NS pizzas? They're actually not bad. I liked the frozen ones best, but the shelf stable were okay too. Yes, pizza is really hard to eat in reasonable quantities. And this new pizza place that just opened up nearby delivers pizza that reminds me of my favorite pizza from college, a unique recipe that I've never found anywhere else and that is no longer made by that restaurant so I couldn't even have it when I was visiting Oxford. Bad news all around.

Oh, yes, I eat NS pizzas regularly. I meant "real" pizza! I've still never tried any NS frozen entrees, so I've only had the shelf-stable ones (which I love). I'm glad I don't have any wonderful pizza places nearby!



report: Gah! Forgot to weigh again! And I had a snackfest last night, bumming because it probably means I'm up. Class is cancelled today, though I can go to the 9:00 session with Giselle, so I may try to do that. Definitely need to eat light today. At least the plumbing's humming again.

Did you unconsciously forget to weigh because you are afraid that you may be over your goal, which would be the first time that has happened, right? Hope today was a better day for you.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Did no exercise. I saw my counselor, and we had a good discussion. My big news for today is that I have not had a drop of diet soda all day, and it's been a rough ride. My headache is manageable, but the grogginess is overwhelming. I feel like I'm swimming underwater. I actually took a 4-hour nap this afternoon and slept like a brick. I am going to bed now and am not worried that my nap will keep me from sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open! Tomorrow will probably be the roughest day. My timing isn't great, when I have so much grading to do, but I'm going to stick it out long enough to get a sense of how my life would change, how I would feel, and whether the improvement is worth giving up my "crutch"!

va1erie
04-28-2012, 10:28 AM
You are certainly right about the sensational way that scientific research is reported in the news. In one of my classes I have the students do a project in which they compare an actual journal article to popular media reports of the same study. It's an eye-opener. I've always felt that instead of requiring college students to all take calculus, we should be requiring them to take statistics. Statistics, like Algebra and geometry, are actually useful to the non-mathematician. At the very least every journalism major should be required to take statistics.

If you react to Oreos, you are way more sensitive to caffeine than I am. But I am sure that some of my sleep difficulties are related to my caffeine consumption late in the day. Have you ever tried switching to decaff or drinking herbal iced tea or something else after dinner?

I think diet soda actually makes me thirstier. I almost always feel thirsty. I always attributed that to my diabetes, so I expected it to go away when the diabetes was resolved, but that hasn't happened. And I do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, another thing I expected to improve when I got rid of diabetes, but that hasn't happened either. Not surprising if you're drinking all day, I guess! :)

Yep, on the vast majority of days, I drink nothing but soda (and, yes, that does mean that I consume no water at all on most days, I'm sorry to say). I hate the thought of consuming calories in liquid form, and there's no liquid that I enjoy enough to justify the calories. I need to just drink WATER instead of soda. The lack of water may be part of my constipation issues, even though I'm obviously consuming a tremendous amount of fluid.

Sounds like we both need to work on the water issue! I've tried the strategy of forcing myself to drink a glass of water before having soda, but I never stuck with it for very long. If you can do it, I think it's a good idea, though. As far as sparkling water goes, I don't think it's a major concern. I'm not absolutely positive, but almost positive, that it's actually the phosphoric acid that causes the calcium leaching, and I believe that phosphoric acid is only in colas, not other sodas or sparkling water. I just checked the non-cola diet sodas in my fridge, and none of them contain phosphoric acid. No kidding! So Sprite Zero doesn't cause the same issues? That's way cool, as I probably drink 95% Sprite Zero. Very occasionally when I'm on the road I'll stop thirsty and find that I have zero noncaff choices and I'd rather drink caffeinated diet than decaff regular pop. I literally never order pop in a restaurant because you almost never find caffeine-free AND sugarfree.

Oh, yes, I eat NS pizzas regularly. I meant "real" pizza! I've still never tried any NS frozen entrees, so I've only had the shelf-stable ones (which I love). Oh, duh. :)

Did you unconsciously forget to weigh because you are afraid that you may be over your goal, which would be the first time that has happened, right? Hope today was a better day for you. Maybe subconscious, but it often coincides more with my having a bad night's sleep, getting up very very early, reading for a few hours thinking maybe I'll get back to sleep, giving up and making the coffee and not remembering I need to weigh until after I've started drinking it. That happened last night, but I remembered to weigh this time. No change. Yes, I'm right up against my goal. I've been in the 117s before, but not over them.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Did no exercise. I saw my counselor, and we had a good discussion. My big news for today is that I have not had a drop of diet soda all day, and it's been a rough ride. My headache is manageable, but the grogginess is overwhelming. I feel like I'm swimming underwater. I actually took a 4-hour nap this afternoon and slept like a brick. I am going to bed now and am not worried that my nap will keep me from sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open! Tomorrow will probably be the roughest day. My timing isn't great, when I have so much grading to do, but I'm going to stick it out long enough to get a sense of how my life would change, how I would feel, and whether the improvement is worth giving up my "crutch"! Oh, my! Well, best wishes! How long do you suppose it takes to get through withdrawal? What kind of changes in your life are you expecting/hoping for/fearing from breaking the habit?

4EverLearning
04-29-2012, 01:08 AM
I've always felt that instead of requiring college students to all take calculus, we should be requiring them to take statistics. Statistics, like Algebra and geometry, are actually useful to the non-mathematician. At the very least every journalism major should be required to take statistics.

Kent doesn't require either one of those courses, but I totally agree about statistics. Understanding statistics can truly make a difference in day-to-day life, and I work really hard to make my students understand that!

Have you ever tried switching to decaff or drinking herbal iced tea or something else after dinner?

Sometimes I would switch to diet 7-Up after dinner, to get away from the caffeine. I don't like iced tea in any form, though (unless you count Long Island iced tea! :D; I wish I did, since there have been many times in my life when I've been someplace that iced tea is the only drink available.




No kidding! So Sprite Zero doesn't cause the same issues? That's way cool, as I probably drink 95% Sprite Zero. Very occasionally when I'm on the road I'll stop thirsty and find that I have zero noncaff choices and I'd rather drink caffeinated diet than decaff regular pop. I literally never order pop in a restaurant because you almost never find caffeine-free AND sugarfree.

Nope, Sprite Zero shouldn't affect your bones!


Maybe subconscious, but it often coincides more with my having a bad night's sleep, getting up very very early, reading for a few hours thinking maybe I'll get back to sleep, giving up and making the coffee and not remembering I need to weigh until after I've started drinking it. That happened last night, but I remembered to weigh this time. No change. Yes, I'm right up against my goal. I've been in the 117s before, but not over them.

Under those circumstances, it's no surprise that you would forget to weigh, particularly when you are concerned about waking up other people.

Oh, my! Well, best wishes! How long do you suppose it takes to get through withdrawal? What kind of changes in your life are you expecting/hoping for/fearing from breaking the habit?

Today, the headache was considerably worse but the grogginess wasn't as severe. I would imagine the withdrawal will be done in a couple of days. I don't know that I am expecting; I just know that the desire to break this habit has been brewing for a long, long time. But my FEAR is that my life will be so much better that I'll have no choice but to stop drinking diet soda permanently!! :D Time for me to go to bed. I only took a half hour nap today, and I am really beat. It was nice to sleep so deeply last night, though. That is one benefit I have discovered already. Oh, and I forgot to weigh myself this morning (I guess I can blame it on my brain fog).

va1erie
04-30-2012, 06:54 AM
Sometimes I would switch to diet 7-Up after dinner, to get away from the caffeine. Do you ever find that not keeping your caffeine intake up during the afternoon or evening causes headachiness or grogginess?


Today, the headache was considerably worse but the grogginess wasn't as severe. Bummer on the headache being worse...I don't know that I've ever had a -headache- from no caffeine, but I've definitely felt grogginess from it.

I would imagine the withdrawal will be done in a couple of days. I don't know that I am expecting; I just know that the desire to break this habit has been brewing for a long, long time. But my FEAR is that my life will be so much better that I'll have no choice but to stop drinking diet soda permanently!! :D Time for me to go to bed. I only took a half hour nap today, and I am really beat. It was nice to sleep so deeply last night, though. That is one benefit I have discovered already. Oh, and I forgot to weigh myself this morning (I guess I can blame it on my brain fog).

Wow, so just with a day off caffeine, your sleep was better! So it probably was affecting your sleep!

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably. Had a crappy night's sleep AGAIN and skipped my exercise class this morning. I just felt physically ill from lack of sleep. I'll have to take an ambien tonight for sure.

Hope you have a less headachey/groggy day today!

4EverLearning
05-01-2012, 12:29 AM
Do you ever find that not keeping your caffeine intake up during the afternoon or evening causes headachiness or grogginess?

Yes, which is why I would often keep drinking Diet Coke even through the evening, especially when I had to work in the evening.


Bummer on the headache being worse...I don't know that I've ever had a -headache- from no caffeine, but I've definitely felt grogginess from it.

Today (day 3) my headache was minimal, but I am still very, very sleepy. In fact, the reason I didn't post last night is that I decided to take a short "nap" after dinner, planning to get up after 45 minutes and get back to grading. But I accidentally set my alarm for 7AM instead of 7PM, and I slept all the way through to 7AM without waking up! At least I was in my bed, but I was fully dressed!



Wow, so just with a day off caffeine, your sleep was better! So it probably was affecting your sleep!

Yes, I do definitely think the caffeine was affecting my sleep. Instead of waking up 5-8 times every night, I am now sleeping through the night or waking up just once to go to the bathroom (compared to 3-5 bathroom trips per night in the past). At the moment I'm still feeling very tired during the day despite the improved sleep, but I would imagine that will resolve itself eventually. I apparently have a lot of sleep deprivation to make up for!

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably. Had a crappy night's sleep AGAIN and skipped my exercise class this morning. I just felt physically ill from lack of sleep. I'll have to take an ambien tonight for sure.

It's definitely really hard to exercise on little or no sleep. I am wondering what it will be like for me to have my first training session (scheduled for Thursday) without caffeine! I hope you had a better night's sleep last night and a better day today.

My weight was up to 135 this morning. I'm slightly anxious about that, but not panicking. (I'm probably too groggy to panic!) I've eaten 1500-1550 calories for each of the last three days, so I shouldn't be gaining. I know my metabolism is probably a little slower now that it is not being fueled by a continuous infusion of caffeine (I'm going to wear my Exerspy for the next few days to see), but that can't account for such a big gain. I'm guessing that I've probably been chronically dehydrated for a long, long time and am now normalizing.

On a happier note, my constipation seems to have resolved itself. That alone is a HUGE reason to lose the diet soda forever, assuming that is the reason for the change. (It's hard to tell, since I've confounded the variables of decreased diet soda intake, greatly increased water intake, plus I started taking a probiotic supplement the same day I quit the soda.) The other interesting change is that my hunger feels different. I'm still definitely getting hungry, but it doesn't have the desperate, gnawing quality to it anymore, which makes me wonder if I am still ever hypoglycemic. I don't have any more glucose testing strips, which are very expensive (my insurance won't pay for them anymore since I am no longer diabetic). But I am planning to buy a box so I can repeat Beck's hunger-is-not-an-emergency task. I am very curious how that would turn out.

I need to get to bed. I have a 7:45AM final tomorrow, along with a mountain of grading, and I am so darned tired. I am really looking forward to Wednesday, though!

va1erie
05-01-2012, 03:47 PM
Today (day 3) my headache was minimal, but I am still very, very sleepy. In fact, the reason I didn't post last night is that I decided to take a short "nap" after dinner, planning to get up after 45 minutes and get back to grading. But I accidentally set my alarm for 7AM instead of 7PM, and I slept all the way through to 7AM without waking up! At least I was in my bed, but I was fully dressed! Wow! You must have needed the sleep, though!

Yes, I do definitely think the caffeine was affecting my sleep. Instead of waking up 5-8 times every night, I am now sleeping through the night or waking up just once to go to the bathroom (compared to 3-5 bathroom trips per night in the past). At the moment I'm still feeling very tired during the day despite the improved sleep, but I would imagine that will resolve itself eventually. I apparently have a lot of sleep deprivation to make up for! No kidding! I'm not sure how you -could- get enough quality sleep if you actually got up out of bed 3 - 5 times during a night!



It's definitely really hard to exercise on little or no sleep. I am wondering what it will be like for me to have my first training session (scheduled for Thursday) without caffeine! I'll be interested to hear how you feel about facing your exercise as a decaffeinated person! :)

My weight was up to 135 this morning. I'm slightly anxious about that, but not panicking. (I'm probably too groggy to panic!) I've eaten 1500-1550 calories for each of the last three days, so I shouldn't be gaining. I know my metabolism is probably a little slower now that it is not being fueled by a continuous infusion of caffeine (I'm going to wear my Exerspy for the next few days to see), but that can't account for such a big gain. I'm guessing that I've probably been chronically dehydrated for a long, long time and am now normalizing. LOL on being too groggy to panic! Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be surprising that you're dehydrated...have you been drinking lots of plain water over the past few days?

On a happier note, my constipation seems to have resolved itself. That alone is a HUGE reason to lose the diet soda forever, assuming that is the reason for the change. (It's hard to tell, since I've confounded the variables of decreased diet soda intake, greatly increased water intake, plus I started taking a probiotic supplement the same day I quit the soda.) The other interesting change is that my hunger feels different. I'm still definitely getting hungry, but it doesn't have the desperate, gnawing quality to it anymore, which makes me wonder if I am still ever hypoglycemic. I don't have any more glucose testing strips, which are very expensive (my insurance won't pay for them anymore since I am no longer diabetic). But I am planning to buy a box so I can repeat Beck's hunger-is-not-an-emergency task. I am very curious how that would turn out. Very interesting all around! So, yeah, it's hard to know which of the various changes you've made have changed all of these things. But it definitely sounds like this change is going to have a lot of positives!


I need to get to bed. I have a 7:45AM final tomorrow, along with a mountain of grading, and I am so darned tired. I am really looking forward to Wednesday, though!

I bet! Report: weighed (no change), am planning to go to class tomorrow morning. Went to the doc today and got permission to use my boot less, so that's cool!

4EverLearning
05-02-2012, 12:50 AM
No kidding! I'm not sure how you -could- get enough quality sleep if you actually got up out of bed 3 - 5 times during a night!

As crazy as it sounds, I always thought that was just "normal" for me. After all, I've been living that way FOREVER! And being diabetic for 30 years, I just assumed that my frequent nighttime bathroom trips were the result of that.



I'll be interested to hear how you feel about facing your exercise as a decaffeinated person! :)

I feel nervous about it, that's how I feel! I assume that exercise will feel harder, at least initially. But I have faith that it will be better in the long run. I'm going to go to the gym in the morning for the first time since going caffeine-free, so I'll get a taste of what it will be like then. Anything I do on my own won't be as intense as a training session, though!

LOL on being too groggy to panic! Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be surprising that you're dehydrated...have you been drinking lots of plain water over the past few days?

Yep! I believe I've been drinking about a gallon and a half of water each day, roughly the same volume of fluid I used to consume in the form of diet soda.

Very interesting all around! So, yeah, it's hard to know which of the various changes you've made have changed all of these things. But it definitely sounds like this change is going to have a lot of positives!

I think so, but a part of me still wants that NOT to be true so that I can go back to my old habits! :(




I bet! Report: weighed (no change), am planning to go to class tomorrow morning. Went to the doc today and got permission to use my boot less, so that's cool!

YAY on starting to wean yourself from that boot! I remember how hot and uncomfortable those are when the weather gets warm and humid. I'm sure you'll be glad to dump it. How's your pain level?

My weight was unchanged this morning. I wore my Exerspy today, and it says I have burned precisely 1700 calories today, a little less than I would have in the past, but not a huge difference. Considering that I did nothing today other than sit at a desk, I'm happy. I was afraid maybe my metabolism would have decreased really substantially. I had a completely OP day until tonight, when I had another dessert-fest in response to discovering that my first eHarmony match (Mr. Can't-Make-Up-His-Mind) called me and left a rambling, pretty incoherent message about how me misses me and is sorry he's been out of touch for so long (it's been six or seven weeks since I heard from him last). I went straight to the food after that. Then I got out both of Beck's books and read the introduction to both of them. That practically made me cry, recognizing just how far I have let myself slide in terms of her tasks. I'm very, very glad to be starting over and to be devoting myself to this ultra-important effort again. Tomorrow I plan to do the first four tasks in Chapter 3 of the second book (the first four preparation stages prior to Stage One). Because I have been so sleepy lately, I've gotten behind on my grading and still have a ton to do. But I want to start anyway. I NEED to feel in control again, REALLY in control, not just temporarily getting a grip until the next meltdown. Enough is enough! And my trip is less than a month away now.

I hope you had a great day. Tomorrow we start anew! I know it will be just what I need, and I hope it will be of great benefit to you, too.

va1erie
05-02-2012, 08:59 AM
I feel nervous about it, that's how I feel! I assume that exercise will feel harder, at least initially. But I have faith that it will be better in the long run. I'm going to go to the gym in the morning for the first time since going caffeine-free, so I'll get a taste of what it will be like then. Anything I do on my own won't be as intense as a training session, though! How did it go? How often do you go to the gym on your own vs. having a training session?



Yep! I believe I've been drinking about a gallon and a half of water each day, roughly the same volume of fluid I used to consume in the form of diet soda. WOW! That's a lot of water!



I think so, but a part of me still wants that NOT to be true so that I can go back to my old habits! :( Maybe you need a set of advantages cards for your diet soda habit! :)

YAY on starting to wean yourself from that boot! I remember how hot and uncomfortable those are when the weather gets warm and humid. I'm sure you'll be glad to dump it. How's your pain level? Very little pain, some swelling still. She said it would be at least another month before I should do anything that involved impact.

My weight was unchanged this morning. I wore my Exerspy today, and it says I have burned precisely 1700 calories today, a little less than I would have in the past, but not a huge difference. Considering that I did nothing today other than sit at a desk, I'm happy. I was afraid maybe my metabolism would have decreased really substantially. Does caffeine actually increase metabolism? I didn't realize that.

I had a completely OP day until tonight, when I had another dessert-fest in response to discovering that my first eHarmony match (Mr. Can't-Make-Up-His-Mind) called me and left a rambling, pretty incoherent message about how me misses me and is sorry he's been out of touch for so long (it's been six or seven weeks since I heard from him last). Strange.

I went straight to the food after that. Then I got out both of Beck's books and read the introduction to both of them. Good for you!

That practically made me cry, recognizing just how far I have let myself slide in terms of her tasks. I'm very, very glad to be starting over and to be devoting myself to this ultra-important effort again. Tomorrow I plan to do the first four tasks in Chapter 3 of the second book (the first four preparation stages prior to Stage One). Because I have been so sleepy lately, I've gotten behind on my grading and still have a ton to do. But I want to start anyway. I NEED to feel in control again, REALLY in control, not just temporarily getting a grip until the next meltdown. Enough is enough! And my trip is less than a month away now. I'll try to reread the first three chapters, too, and get those first four tasks done. Not sure if I can get it today -- very very busy right now trying to get final prep done for the farmers' market.

I hope you had a great day. Tomorrow we start anew! I know it will be just what I need, and I hope it will be of great benefit to you, too. I think it will benefit me a LOT.

4EverLearning
05-03-2012, 02:32 AM
How did it go? How often do you go to the gym on your own vs. having a training session?

Lately, I've only been going to the gym once on my own, in addition to the two training sessions. I did go today, and I didn't notice any significant difference from my caffeinated days! YAY!



WOW! That's a lot of water!

I've always sipped diet soda all day long, so now I'm continuously sipping water instead. I drank close to 2 gallons today (and spent a lot of time in the bathroom as a result).



Maybe you need a set of advantages cards for your diet soda habit! :)

I already thought of that and plan to do it!

Very little pain, some swelling still. She said it would be at least another month before I should do anything that involved impact.

Yikes. I've lost track--how long have you been in the boot now?

Does caffeine actually increase metabolism? I didn't realize that.

Yeah. On the Biggest Loser, they strongly encourage contestants to start the day with strong coffee for that reason (but they do NOT recommend diet soda!). Speaking of BL, the finale was last night, and the guy who won lost 199 pounds in 6 months--more than a pound a day!!! And he lost 51% of his starting weight. I'll never understand how they keep up that rate of weight loss for months at a time.



I'll try to reread the first three chapters, too, and get those first four tasks done. Not sure if I can get it today -- very very busy right now trying to get final prep done for the farmers' market.

I did do the first four prep tasks today. I bought a new notebook, cards, and a memory box. I also bought a bunch of yarn for my distractions box, so I can work on an afghan (even though filling the distractions box is task 7--got a little ahead of myself). I always used to crochet as a distraction when I was dieting. I started doing that back when I did WW as a kid, and it always helped me, so I decided to try it again. I already have all of the other materials for task 1. Task 2 is to set a modest weight-loss goal. I'm going to aim for losing 5 pounds and then re-evaluate. Task 3 is to make time for dieting. I have a general schedule in mind for summer, one that will allow me ample time to do all of the Beck tasks and to exercise at least 5 days a week. Task 4 is to get a diet buddy--CHECK!

I had a really nice day today. I was oddly content and anxiety-free, despite weighing 135.8 this morning (ACK) and spending much of the day grading statistics tests, which is tedious at best and infuriating (because so many of the students just DON'T GET IT) at worst. And here it is 2:30 in the morning, I spent the whole evening after choir practice grading, I have to get up early to start grading again, and I'm happy! Weird. I'm sure part of the reason I feel happy is that I went to the gym, and I had a very low calorie day (ate just one meal, along with 3 protein shakes [decided to try your strategy for cutting cravings], for a total of under 1100 calories). And restarting Beck makes me happy, too.

Hope you also had a happy day, despite your work at the farmer's market.

va1erie
05-03-2012, 07:39 AM
Lately, I've only been going to the gym once on my own, in addition to the two training sessions. I did go today, and I didn't notice any significant difference from my caffeinated days! YAY! Yay! Probably the extra rest is helpful!

I've always sipped diet soda all day long, so now I'm continuously sipping water instead. I drank close to 2 gallons today (and spent a lot of time in the bathroom as a result). Good grief! I can't imagine drinking 2 gallons a day!

Yikes. I've lost track--how long have you been in the boot now? Almost exactly a month. I'll be glad to have it behind me!

Yeah. On the Biggest Loser, they strongly encourage contestants to start the day with strong coffee for that reason (but they do NOT recommend diet soda!). Speaking of BL, the finale was last night, and the guy who won lost 199 pounds in 6 months--more than a pound a day!!! And he lost 51% of his starting weight. I'll never understand how they keep up that rate of weight loss for months at a time. I know, and the rate at which they lose is sometimes very suspicious. Like the week Jeremy got eliminated, all three of them lost between 10 and 15 pounds. Kim lost 15 POUNDS! In a week! At her size? After having numerous weeks where she lost between 2 and 8 pounds, she starts at 162 and ends the week at 147? I'm sorry, there's some sort of laxative and/or diuretic abuse going on here. And Jeremy loses 50 pounds between the semifinal and the finale? What?

How did you know that about BL -- that they recommend strong coffee, I mean? Is that stuff they talked about in earlier seasons? There seem to be lots of things I don't know that are common knowledge to BL fans who've been watching for longer than I have. :) Like the cases where the light goes off when someone gets eliminated -- someone mentioned somewhere that the cases had their former favorite foods in them, and I was like, "They do? When did they talk about that?"

I did do the first four prep tasks today. I bought a new notebook, cards, and a memory box. Oh, you bought new! I'm just going to use my current ones, as I still have room.

I also bought a bunch of yarn for my distractions box, so I can work on an afghan (even though filling the distractions box is task 7--got a little ahead of myself). That's okay, she'll forgive you. :) I always used to crochet as a distraction when I was dieting. I started doing that back when I did WW as a kid, and it always helped me, so I decided to try it again. I already have all of the other materials for task 1. Task 2 is to set a modest weight-loss goal. I'm going to aim for losing 5 pounds and then re-evaluate. Task 3 is to make time for dieting. I have a general schedule in mind for summer, one that will allow me ample time to do all of the Beck tasks and to exercise at least 5 days a week. Task 4 is to get a diet buddy--CHECK! Well, my weightloss goal is 3 pounds. If I lose 3 pounds, I'll have my safely-below-goal going again. Task 3...I am having a hard time with this one right now. Crazy busy with the fm, tonight Michael gets home, tomorrow is Jane's birthday, Saturday is the fm and then a friend's son's college graduation party, Sunday is stitch, then things calm down a bit.

I had a really nice day today. I was oddly content and anxiety-free, Do you think the caffeine might make you feel more anxious? Or at least, the lack of it just feels calmer? despite weighing 135.8 this morning (ACK) and spending much of the day grading statistics tests, which is tedious at best and infuriating (because so many of the students just DON'T GET IT) at worst. And here it is 2:30 in the morning, I spent the whole evening after choir practice grading, I have to get up early to start grading again, and I'm happy! Weird. I'm sure part of the reason I feel happy is that I went to the gym, and I had a very low calorie day (ate just one meal, along with 3 protein shakes [decided to try your strategy for cutting cravings], for a total of under 1100 calories). And restarting Beck makes me happy, too. Me, too! Glad you had a good day! I didn't weigh -- up again at 2:45, gah! -- but tonight I'm going to take an Ambien. I've started cutting our caffeine, too, though now that you tell me about the metabolism stuff it make me worried, too! :)

4EverLearning
05-04-2012, 01:35 AM
ARGH!! I had a long post all typed out, and then it went POOF right before I hit submit. This version will be shorter, I'm afraid.

Yay! Probably the extra rest is helpful!

I'm sure it is! Today I totally hit a wall and was so tired I could barely function. I ended up taking a long nap after my training session, with the result that I am now even further behind on my grading. I sure hope I can finish grading by the time of graduation tomorrow evening. In my 29 years at Kent, I have never failed to do so, and it would just feel wrong to have to go home after graduation and get back to work. Graduation feels like a marker that gives closure to the school year.

Good grief! I can't imagine drinking 2 gallons a day!

You know how smokers always say that part of their habit is due to a desire to have something to do with their hands? I think holding a container of liquid serves the same function for me.

Almost exactly a month. I'll be glad to have it behind me!

It seems longer than a month to me. And I bet it seems even more so to you!

I know, and the rate at which they lose is sometimes very suspicious. Like the week Jeremy got eliminated, all three of them lost between 10 and 15 pounds. Kim lost 15 POUNDS! In a week! At her size? After having numerous weeks where she lost between 2 and 8 pounds, she starts at 162 and ends the week at 147? I'm sorry, there's some sort of laxative and/or diuretic abuse going on here. And Jeremy loses 50 pounds between the semifinal and the finale? What?

There's a long time span between the semifinal and the finale--two months, I think? But it's still hard to understand some of the dramatic changes. I don't doubt that there's some serious abuse going on behind the scenes.

How did you know that about BL -- that they recommend strong coffee, I mean? Is that stuff they talked about in earlier seasons? There seem to be lots of things I don't know that are common knowledge to BL fans who've been watching for longer than I have. :) Like the cases where the light goes off when someone gets eliminated -- someone mentioned somewhere that the cases had their former favorite foods in them, and I was like, "They do? When did they talk about that?"

In addition to watching the show since its inception, I've also read all of their books, along with numerous magazine articles about the show. I've also read several memoirs by former contestants. So I'm sure I know more about the show than is healthy!!

Oh, you bought new! I'm just going to use my current ones, as I still have room.

I had been using a Longaberger basket that I have since sold, so I just bought an inexpensive file box. I plan to pretty much scrap my cards and start over--a true fresh start.

If I lose 3 pounds, I'll have my safely-below-goal going again. Task 3...I am having a hard time with this one right now. Crazy busy with the fm, tonight Michael gets home, tomorrow is Jane's birthday, Saturday is the fm and then a friend's son's college graduation party, Sunday is stitch, then things calm down a bit.

Three pounds sounds like an imminently reasonable goal. I totally understand the time issue and how life just gets in the way sometimes. I guess we need to keep reminding ourselves to make ourselves a priority, too!

Do you think the caffeine might make you feel more anxious? Or at least, the lack of it just feels calmer?

I absolutely do. I think it is amazing how calm I am, considering that it's finals week!! Who am I, and what did I do with Robin????

! -- but tonight I'm going to take an Ambien. I've started cutting our caffeine, too, though now that you tell me about the metabolism stuff it make me worried, too! :)

Sheesh, you get up about the time I go to bed!! I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight! I wouldn't worry too much about the metabolism issue. The effect, while statistically significant, is still small in magnitude. I've been paying careful attention to my Exerspy, which seems to bear this out. I actually burned almost 2100 calories today, even without caffeine, so I'm not going to worry about it anymore. The huge positive changes definitely outweigh the small decrease in metabolism.

My weight was down 2.2 this morning--a surprise, but a welcome one! I consumed about 1420 calories (should definitely put me in a deficit, if my Exerspy is to be believed) and had a personal training session. I didn't have time to work on any additional prep tasks from the Beck book but will definitely do so over the weekend.

I hope by the time you read this you will be well rested!

FRIDAY NIGHT (actually Saturday morning!): Hope you are OK! I had a decent day. Weight was down another .4, had a personal training session at which my trainer outlined his extreme plans for my summer "shape-up" (third day in a row I went to the gym-yay me!), had a deficit of about 400 calories according to my Exerspy, did not quite finish my grading in time for graduation tonight but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow I can start back to reading Beck and continuing on the tasks.

SATURDAY NIGHT: Weight was unchanged this morning, had a deficit of about 650 calories today, went to the gym on my own for an hour (4th day in row to the gym, a record for me!). I continued with the prep tasks in the second book. Task Five--I organized my kitchen cupboards and threw out the few remaining NS desserts I had (don't trust myself for now). Task Six--I read all of the memory cards I previously created and put them in my new box, along with a divider to separate them from the new ones I will add this time around. Task Seven--I got together my distractions (Sudoku, bananagrams, crochet supplies, a book I got at the conference where I met Beck last year but still haven't opened, a fashion magazine, a decorating magazine, and a list of websites to visit) in one of my favorite Longaberger baskets. Task Eight--Talk to my family? Can skip that one! Task Nine--Build a sense of entitlement. That's the one where Beck talks about learning to make your own needs a priority instead of always putting others first. My first inclination was to say that obviously that one doesn't apply to me, either, but then I realized that it does, in a way; I may not have a family making demands on me, but I certainly let my work, my students, and my colleagues put lots of demands on me, and I usually respond to those before I get around to taking care of myself. I won't have a chance to work on that one much over the summer, but will use that time to work mentally on getting to a more balanced place prior to the start of the next school year. Oh, and I also made a graph where I can record my daily weight and hung it on the back of my bathroom door. I never did try graphing my weight, but I think the visual record will be helpful.

I still have a couple of hours of grading to do tomorrow. I plan to go to the gym again after church. I will also work on the last prep task--creating the initial response cards. I think I'm going to completely scratch my old ones and start fresh, creating new ones. Even if they repeat the themes of the old ones, I think I can improve them and make them more relevant, and the repetition will help me.

I hope you're OK--I'm getting a little concerned now!

va1erie
05-06-2012, 08:54 AM
FRIDAY NIGHT (actually Saturday morning!): Hope you are OK! I had a decent day. Weight was down another .4, had a personal training session at which my trainer outlined his extreme plans for my summer "shape-up" (third day in a row I went to the gym-yay me!), had a deficit of about 400 calories according to my Exerspy, did not quite finish my grading in time for graduation tonight but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow I can start back to reading Beck and continuing on the tasks.

SATURDAY NIGHT: Weight was unchanged this morning, had a deficit of about 650 calories today, went to the gym on my own for an hour (4th day in row to the gym, a record for me!). I continued with the prep tasks in the second book. Task Five--I organized my kitchen cupboards and threw out the few remaining NS desserts I had (don't trust myself for now). Task Six--I read all of the memory cards I previously created and put them in my new box, along with a divider to separate them from the new ones I will add this time around. Task Seven--I got together my distractions (Sudoku, bananagrams, crochet supplies, a book I got at the conference where I met Beck last year but still haven't opened, a fashion magazine, a decorating magazine, and a list of websites to visit) in one of my favorite Longaberger baskets. Task Eight--Talk to my family? Can skip that one! Task Nine--Build a sense of entitlement. That's the one where Beck talks about learning to make your own needs a priority instead of always putting others first. My first inclination was to say that obviously that one doesn't apply to me, either, but then I realized that it does, in a way; I may not have a family making demands on me, but I certainly let my work, my students, and my colleagues put lots of demands on me, and I usually respond to those before I get around to taking care of myself. I won't have a chance to work on that one much over the summer, but will use that time to work mentally on getting to a more balanced place prior to the start of the next school year. Oh, and I also made a graph where I can record my daily weight and hung it on the back of my bathroom door. I never did try graphing my weight, but I think the visual record will be helpful.

I still have a couple of hours of grading to do tomorrow. I plan to go to the gym again after church. I will also work on the last prep task--creating the initial response cards. I think I'm going to completely scratch my old ones and start fresh, creating new ones. Even if they repeat the themes of the old ones, I think I can improve them and make them more relevant, and the repetition will help me.

I hope you're OK--I'm getting a little concerned now! Sorry! Computer issues, then just plain busy-ness! And unfortunately I'm off in just a few minutes to brunch with friends and then stitch, but with any luck I'll be able to get in here tonight, sorry! Haven't gotten anywhere with Beck at all -- hoping I'll be able to tomorrow, when I should have some time.

4EverLearning
05-06-2012, 11:45 PM
Sorry! Computer issues, then just plain busy-ness! And unfortunately I'm off in just a few minutes to brunch with friends and then stitch, but with any luck I'll be able to get in here tonight, sorry! Haven't gotten anywhere with Beck at all -- hoping I'll be able to tomorrow, when I should have some time.

I didn't make any progress today, either. I just felt this urge to totally rebel--not with food, just didn't want to be productive after such a long semester. So I spent the whole day on the couch reading a novel. I still have a bit of grading to do, and two meetings at the Kent Campus tomorrow, so my semester is not done. But I needed a break. My weight was down .4 this morning.

MONDAY: Today was fine food-wise, but otherwise, it wasn't stellar. I overslept, waking up to realize that I had to rush like crazy to get to a meeting at the main campus (my first meeting with the other regional campus faculty chairs), so I forgot to weigh. When I got to the meeting, with what I thought was 5 minutes to spare, I discovered that it had been moved up an hour, and I hadn't seen the email in which the time had changed because I was in such a rush this morning. Of course if I had seen it, I wouldn't have been able to get there any earlier anyway, and I would have just been more stressed knowing that I was going to be so late! Then I had another meeting--my last Faculty Senate meeting after 16 continuous years on Senate. It hit me much harder than I thought it would. I was thanked for my service, and......that was it. A part of me was thinking, hey, don't I at least get a gold watch or something after 16 years of hard work and not a penny of pay for it? Oh, well. Anyway, it made me sad to walk out of the governance chambers for probably the last time. I've been on the verge of tears all evening. Didn't eat, though, so yay me! Tomorrow I have a meeting with my dean and the outgoing faculty chair, followed by a training session. I STILL have some grading to do, and the final deadline for submitting the grades is midnight tomorrow, so I have to finish up tomorrow no matter what. I have never in my career taken so long to get my grading done. Then I still have a huge committee report to do after that. I didn't get to Beck at all today. Hope you are OK!

va1erie
05-08-2012, 07:45 AM
I didn't make any progress today, either. I just felt this urge to totally rebel--not with food, just didn't want to be productive after such a long semester. So I spent the whole day on the couch reading a novel. I still have a bit of grading to do, and two meetings at the Kent Campus tomorrow, so my semester is not done. But I needed a break. My weight was down .4 this morning. LOL on not wanting to be productive! I'm feeling some of that, too. I'm rebelling against doing ANYTHING because I have so much on my plate right now.

MONDAY: Today was fine food-wise, but otherwise, it wasn't stellar. I overslept, waking up to realize that I had to rush like crazy to get to a meeting at the main campus (my first meeting with the other regional campus faculty chairs), so I forgot to weigh. When I got to the meeting, with what I thought was 5 minutes to spare, I discovered that it had been moved up an hour, and I hadn't seen the email in which the time had changed because I was in such a rush this morning. Of course if I had seen it, I wouldn't have been able to get there any earlier anyway, and I would have just been more stressed knowing that I was going to be so late! Then I had another meeting--my last Faculty Senate meeting after 16 continuous years on Senate. It hit me much harder than I thought it would. I was thanked for my service, and......that was it. A part of me was thinking, hey, don't I at least get a gold watch or something after 16 years of hard work and not a penny of pay for it? Oh, well. Anyway, it made me sad to walk out of the governance chambers for probably the last time. I've been on the verge of tears all evening. Didn't eat, though, so yay me! Tomorrow I have a meeting with my dean and the outgoing faculty chair, followed by a training session. I STILL have some grading to do, and the final deadline for submitting the grades is midnight tomorrow, so I have to finish up tomorrow no matter what. I have never in my career taken so long to get my grading done. Then I still have a huge committee report to do after that. I didn't get to Beck at all today. Hope you are OK! Well, I'm glad you didn't eat even though you were feeling teary all evening! Why do you think it hit you harder than you'd expected?

Report: I can't believe I didn't get in here yesterday! Sorry! I woke up this morning and realized it. Weighed (up .6, eek, must have a good day today), went to class. I'm thinking about adding some Pilates to my schedule. There's a center very nearby -- just about a mile and a half from my house, so again I could walk -- that has classes on Tuesdays at 10am and on Thursdays at 9am.

Still no progress on Beck -- still so busy, too many irons in the fire.

4EverLearning
05-09-2012, 12:14 AM
LOL on not wanting to be productive! I'm feeling some of that, too. I'm rebelling against doing ANYTHING because I have so much on my plate right now.

What's going on that's keeping you so overwhelmed?

Well, I'm glad you didn't eat even though you were feeling teary all evening! Why do you think it hit you harder than you'd expected?

I think it was yet another major change in my life. Being on Senate was part of my identity. It's also the reason that I've had early morning classes for the last 16 years (so that I had "free" afternoons to go to the main campus), so maybe I will have some later classes now!

Report: I can't believe I didn't get in here yesterday! Sorry! I woke up this morning and realized it. Weighed (up .6, eek, must have a good day today), went to class. I'm thinking about adding some Pilates to my schedule. There's a center very nearby -- just about a mile and a half from my house, so again I could walk -- that has classes on Tuesdays at 10am and on Thursdays at 9am.

I don't fully understand what Pilates is (are?), but my limited knowledge tells me it would be a reasonable, low-impact thing for you to do.

Still no progress on Beck -- still so busy, too many irons in the fire.

I didn't get anywhere with it today, either, but I do believe I will finally have some time tomorrow. I finished my grading today. I also wrote a rough draft of the big report I still have to do and am hopeful I can get that finished tomorrow. I also officially became faculty chair again today and already had a few things to take care of. It felt good, though!

My weight was up 1.6 this morning (???). Had a good personal training session. Stayed OP all day and had a calorie deficit.

Hope you have a less frazzled day tomorrow!

va1erie
05-09-2012, 06:04 PM
What's going on that's keeping you so overwhelmed? Farmers' market, mostly. I'm just so over it, which translates to me procrastinating when I need to be doing that work, which leads to me having to scramble to get it done.



I think it was yet another major change in my life. Being on Senate was part of my identity. It's also the reason that I've had early morning classes for the last 16 years (so that I had "free" afternoons to go to the main campus), so maybe I will have some later classes now! Yay! For me of course I'd be the one scheduling early classes, but I know you prefer a later start.



I don't fully understand what Pilates is (are?), but my limited knowledge tells me it would be a reasonable, low-impact thing for you to do. I don't really understand it either, but I guess it's a very intentional kind of exercise? At any rate, they require 8 prerequisite classes to get you up to speed before you do the equipment classes. But there are floor classes you can take before you take the prereqs, so tomorrow I'm going to try one of those.



I didn't get anywhere with it today, either, but I do believe I will finally have some time tomorrow. I finished my grading today. I also wrote a rough draft of the big report I still have to do and am hopeful I can get that finished tomorrow. I also officially became faculty chair again today and already had a few things to take care of. It felt good, though! Good for you for getting stuff done! I'm still dogpaddling. Maybe tomorrow. If not tomorrow, I'll definitely be in better shape Sunday.

Report: didn't weight, arg! But I did go to class and worked out like a freak. Pilates tomorrow, I hope.

4EverLearning
05-09-2012, 11:48 PM
Farmers' market, mostly. I'm just so over it, which translates to me procrastinating when I need to be doing that work, which leads to me having to scramble to get it done.

Why are you "over it"?



Yay! For me of course I'd be the one scheduling early classes, but I know you prefer a later start.

I think not having to get up so early in the morning would make life a lot less stressful. But I do feel more productive when I get up early and get moving. I would get lazy if I didn't have anything to force me to get up.



I don't really understand it either, but I guess it's a very intentional kind of exercise? At any rate, they require 8 prerequisite classes to get you up to speed before you do the equipment classes. But there are floor classes you can take before you take the prereqs, so tomorrow I'm going to try one of those.

It's all about strength as opposed to cardio, right? Good luck with the floor class. I can't believe there are so many prerequisites!



Good for you for getting stuff done! I'm still dogpaddling. Maybe tomorrow. If not tomorrow, I'll definitely be in better shape Sunday.

Dogpaddling--I like that word! It definitely describes what I'm doing right now, too. I couldn't sleep for anything last night (which just goes to show that I can have insomnia even without caffeine!), which meant I was too exhausted today to do anything beyond working on the report that I absolutely couldn't put off any longer. I'm stuck in that stage of not being able to decide what to do, a very uncomfortable place to be. And, like I've told you before, I've often stayed stuck in that endless cycle of indecision for months or even years in the past. I'm desperate to do something about my weight, and I find myself not wanting to be around people because I feel so "fat", but I can't decide what that "something" should be. I can't decide whether to stick with the commitment not to drink diet soda. I can't decide what diet to do. I can't even decide if it's all worth it anymore (I can't believe I'm even questioning that).

Tomorrow I also have to go back for my six month check-in with the surgeon who did my breast lumpectomies to see if I should have another round of screening. That terrifies me and is not helping my mood. And I admit that part of the reason i am dreading it is that I know I have gained weight since the last time he weighed me.

My weight was down 1.2 this morning but will surely be up again tomorrow, since I stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home from choir practice and had a Blizzard. Other than that, I ate OP. Didn't make any progress on Beck.

I know that part of my low mood is just my regular end-of-the-school-year crash, but instead of riding it out, I want to be proactive in dealing with it head-on.

Have I told you that I am going to be out of town next week? I can't remember. I'm going to a conference in the Niagara Falls area and will be gone Monday through Thursday.



Report: didn't weight, arg! But I did go to class and worked out like a freak. Pilates tomorrow, I hope.

I'll be interested to hear your impressions of Pilates!

va1erie
05-10-2012, 01:59 PM
Why are you "over it"? Short attention span. I tend to be someone who sets things up and then looks around for someone else to maintain what I've built.





It's all about strength as opposed to cardio, right? Good luck with the floor class. I can't believe there are so many prerequisites! I think it's all strength, but I really don't know anything about it. I didn't get there today unfortunately but I did get on the treadmill for an hour!

Dogpaddling--I like that word! It definitely describes what I'm doing right now, too. I couldn't sleep for anything last night (which just goes to show that I can have insomnia even without caffeine!), which meant I was too exhausted today to do anything beyond working on the report that I absolutely couldn't put off any longer. I'm stuck in that stage of not being able to decide what to do, a very uncomfortable place to be. And, like I've told you before, I've often stayed stuck in that endless cycle of indecision for months or even years in the past. I'm desperate to do something about my weight, and I find myself not wanting to be around people because I feel so "fat", but I can't decide what that "something" should be. I can't decide whether to stick with the commitment not to drink diet soda. I can't decide what diet to do. I can't even decide if it's all worth it anymore (I can't believe I'm even questioning that). Why do you think it's not worth it? What's not worth it -- remaining thin? Not becoming diabetic again?

Tomorrow I also have to go back for my six month check-in with the surgeon who did my breast lumpectomies to see if I should have another round of screening. That terrifies me and is not helping my mood. And I admit that part of the reason i am dreading it is that I know I have gained weight since the last time he weighed me. You haven't gained more than a couple pounds, though, have you?

My weight was down 1.2 this morning but will surely be up again tomorrow, since I stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home from choir practice and had a Blizzard. Other than that, I ate OP. Didn't make any progress on Beck. Why the DQ run? What was going on?

I know that part of my low mood is just my regular end-of-the-school-year crash, but instead of riding it out, I want to be proactive in dealing with it head-on. What do you have in mind for dealing with it?

Have I told you that I am going to be out of town next week? I can't remember. I'm going to a conference in the Niagara Falls area and will be gone Monday through Thursday. Maybe getting away will be good for your mood?


Report: didn't weigh, but did exercise. Didn't do any Beck. Can't believe it's Thursday already and the FM is in less than 2 days again. Gah.

4EverLearning
05-10-2012, 11:25 PM
Short attention span. I tend to be someone who sets things up and then looks around for someone else to maintain what I've built.

I get that. I really love to decorate. One of the reasons I rented so many apartments rather than buying a place (I've lived in 18 or 19 places since college) is that as soon as I would get a place decorated just to my liking, I would get bored and want to start over again. As smart as you are, it doesn't surprise me that you'd get bored once you've got something figured out and set up.





I think it's all strength, but I really don't know anything about it. I didn't get there today unfortunately but I did get on the treadmill for an hour!

And I bet an hour on the treadmill burns more calories!

Why do you think it's not worth it? What's not worth it -- remaining thin? Not becoming diabetic again?

I was thinking that the effort isn't worth it. But of course staying thin and not diabetic ARE definitely worth whatever it takes. Thanks for reminding me!

You haven't gained more than a couple pounds, though, have you?

When I got weighed today at the surgeon's, I was 8 pounds heavier than last time I was there (in October, which was the absolute low point for my weight). I was fully dressed and had just eaten, but still an undeniable change and a definite wake-up call. (The surgeon didn't feel anything amiss and so didn't order a mammogram immediately, but I have an appointment for another one in August. He strongly encouraged me to continue taking the Evista even though the hot flashes make me so miserable, estimating my breast cancer risk at about 1/3.)

Why the DQ run? What was going on?

That rebellious, screw-it feeling of not caring, along with feeling that I deserved a treat for getting through the semester.

What do you have in mind for dealing with it?

I got back into Beck today, and that helped. I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow, and I'm going to bring up the eating issues (which we haven't said a word about so far, as she is assuming that I've got that under control and don't need her support).

Maybe getting away will be good for your mood?

As long as I don't gain any more weight there! The friend I am rooming with has also lost weight, and she loves to take long walks, so we will walk to see the falls every evening, which is quite a hike.


Report: didn't weigh, but did exercise. Didn't do any Beck. Can't believe it's Thursday already and the FM is in less than 2 days again. Gah.

You've missed quite a few weigh-ins lately. I wouldn't be doing my duty as your diet buddy if I didn't ask whether you are afraid to see what the scale will say.

My weight was up 1.2 this morning (as I expected). I had a personal training session. I also finished up the last prep task in the second book (the initial response cards). I created five cards. Then I went on to the first Stage One task (creating an Advantages Deck). First I reviewed my previous advantages, which I still think are very appropriate and meaningful to me, so I will retain them:

1. Lightness of body translates into lightness of spirit.
2. There will be no barrier of fat walling me off from other people.
3. I can truly live in the present moment--I can show up for life!
4. I'll have conquered my last demon, and I'll know that I can then accomplish anything.
5. I won't feel weighed down by my own fat or by my constant struggles with food.
6. I can keep my diabetes in remission.
7. I'll be more confident in class and a better role model to my students.
8. I can enjoy shopping for and wearing stylish clothing in small sizes--with no elastic waists!
9. I'll feel much less inhibited in social situations.

Then I added two new ones to address my relationship issues:
10. I will learn to accept myself, both outside and inside, and thereby learn that others might accept me, too.
11. I'll learn to love myself and therefore how to give and receive love.

Then I added the advantages of restricting diet soda (used red ink for these to distinguish them from the other cards):
1. I'll be so proud that I am no longer dependent on a substance to make it through the day.
2. I'll feel calmer and more in control.
3. I can sleep much better.
4. I'll be much less bloated and constipated.

With regard to the soda, my hope is that I will eventually be able to return to consuming small amounts of it (I want no food or drink to be completely off limits) but am going to continue to go completely without it for now, until I feel more confident.

I have to go to school for a short time tomorrow in between four other appointments, and I will use the copier there to make copies of the Stage One skill sheets and will fill them out each day (never did that the first time around). I will also set my alarm to wake me up early enough to read my cards before breakfast (and before my 8AM appointment to get my car serviced--UGH). So I made some progress today, at least. I hope you did or soon will, too!

va1erie
05-11-2012, 02:19 PM
I was thinking that the effort isn't worth it. But of course staying thin and not diabetic ARE definitely worth whatever it takes. Thanks for reminding me! That's what gets me...reminding myself why I wanted it badly enough to do all that work in the first place. It's such a hassle to keep going. But MAN it was a hassle being heavy. I hated it. HATED it. Hated so many things about it. Hated feeling my clothing bind, hated walking, hated climbing stairs, hated wearing anything fitted, hated how I looked in the mirror, hated the thought that other people were judging me for my weight, hated that I couldn't run even a few steps, hated trying on clothes. Those were so much worse than just hassling with eating the right things, not eating too much, and getting myself to class.


When I got weighed today at the surgeon's, I was 8 pounds heavier than last time I was there (in October, which was the absolute low point for my weight). I was fully dressed and had just eaten, but still an undeniable change and a definite wake-up call. (The surgeon didn't feel anything amiss and so didn't order a mammogram immediately, but I have an appointment for another one in August. He strongly encouraged me to continue taking the Evista even though the hot flashes make me so miserable, estimating my breast cancer risk at about 1/3.) Great news that the surgeon doesn't think there's anything amiss. Sorry about the Evista, though! :(



That rebellious, screw-it feeling of not caring, along with feeling that I deserved a treat for getting through the semester. I actually think the whole idea of an OCCASIONAL treat is fine, myself. That's what keeps us sane, the idea that occasionally we can have SOME treat. It's having them too often that's a problem, and maybe also that it wasn't planned, I assume? Maybe realize that you're going to want an occasional treat and tell yourself, "At the end of each semester, when I finish my grading, I can have a blizzard." That's two blizzards a year. That's okay, and even something to look forward to. It's not using food for comfort or even reward. It's saying its okay to incorporate food when celebrating a rare occasion. Maybe not THE best way to celebrate, but when you're maintaining it's not a big deal as long as it really is only occasional.



I got back into Beck today, and that helped. I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow, and I'm going to bring up the eating issues (which we haven't said a word about so far, as she is assuming that I've got that under control and don't need her support). Good for you for getting back into Beck. Me, not so much. :( I've been procrastinating some. But I did go to class this morning.



As long as I don't gain any more weight there! The friend I am rooming with has also lost weight, and she loves to take long walks, so we will walk to see the falls every evening, which is quite a hike. Great that she's also lost weight -- you can support each other around food as well as exercise. :)




You've missed quite a few weigh-ins lately. I wouldn't be doing my duty as your diet buddy if I didn't ask whether you are afraid to see what the scale will say. Yes. And I know how counterproductive that is. :(

Oops, gotta go! I'm going to save this and hope to get back to finish responding later, but I've got a crazy 36 hours coming up...have two meetings this evening, then need to take an ambien and get into bed by 8 because I have to do the 3am-6am shift at Relay for Life chaperoning, then the fm at 8am - 1pm, and I may just want to go back to bed after that.

My weight was up 1.2 this morning (as I expected). I had a personal training session. I also finished up the last prep task in the second book (the initial response cards). I created five cards. Then I went on to the first Stage One task (creating an Advantages Deck). First I reviewed my previous advantages, which I still think are very appropriate and meaningful to me, so I will retain them:

1. Lightness of body translates into lightness of spirit.
2. There will be no barrier of fat walling me off from other people.
3. I can truly live in the present moment--I can show up for life!
4. I'll have conquered my last demon, and I'll know that I can then accomplish anything.
5. I won't feel weighed down by my own fat or by my constant struggles with food.
6. I can keep my diabetes in remission.
7. I'll be more confident in class and a better role model to my students.
8. I can enjoy shopping for and wearing stylish clothing in small sizes--with no elastic waists!
9. I'll feel much less inhibited in social situations.

Then I added two new ones to address my relationship issues:
10. I will learn to accept myself, both outside and inside, and thereby learn that others might accept me, too.
11. I'll learn to love myself and therefore how to give and receive love.

Then I added the advantages of restricting diet soda (used red ink for these to distinguish them from the other cards):
1. I'll be so proud that I am no longer dependent on a substance to make it through the day.
2. I'll feel calmer and more in control.
3. I can sleep much better.
4. I'll be much less bloated and constipated.

With regard to the soda, my hope is that I will eventually be able to return to consuming small amounts of it (I want no food or drink to be completely off limits) but am going to continue to go completely without it for now, until I feel more confident.

I have to go to school for a short time tomorrow in between four other appointments, and I will use the copier there to make copies of the Stage One skill sheets and will fill them out each day (never did that the first time around). I will also set my alarm to wake me up early enough to read my cards before breakfast (and before my 8AM appointment to get my car serviced--UGH). So I made some progress today, at least. I hope you did or soon will, too!

4EverLearning
05-11-2012, 11:28 PM
That's what gets me...reminding myself why I wanted it badly enough to do all that work in the first place. It's such a hassle to keep going. But MAN it was a hassle being heavy. I hated it. HATED it. Hated so many things about it. Hated feeling my clothing bind, hated walking, hated climbing stairs, hated wearing anything fitted, hated how I looked in the mirror, hated the thought that other people were judging me for my weight, hated that I couldn't run even a few steps, hated trying on clothes. Those were so much worse than just hassling with eating the right things, not eating too much, and getting myself to class.

When you lay out all those things you hated, it's almost impossible to understand why you would ever do anything to jeopardize all that hard work, isn't it? We'd have to be insane to want to go back, and I know neither of us is insane! But the problem is that we forget. The more distant we are from the bad old days, the harder it is to remember how miserable we were. We start to take our new bodies for granted, like we're entitled to them simply because we worked so hard for them. But the truth is that we have to KEEP earning them. I think both of us are at the point of having to really work to accept that hard truth.




I actually think the whole idea of an OCCASIONAL treat is fine, myself. That's what keeps us sane, the idea that occasionally we can have SOME treat. It's having them too often that's a problem, and maybe also that it wasn't planned, I assume? Maybe realize that you're going to want an occasional treat and tell yourself, "At the end of each semester, when I finish my grading, I can have a blizzard." That's two blizzards a year. That's okay, and even something to look forward to. It's not using food for comfort or even reward. It's saying its okay to incorporate food when celebrating a rare occasion. Maybe not THE best way to celebrate, but when you're maintaining it's not a big deal as long as it really is only occasional.

I think so, too, absolutely. But in this case it wasn't planned, and I was just having a pity party and whining that I was entitled to a treat, which is of course exactly the kind of thinking that got me in so much trouble in the first place.



Good for you for getting back into Beck. Me, not so much. :( I've been procrastinating some. But I did go to class this morning.

Today I read the next two sections (the one about daily weighing and the one about eating slowly, sitting down, and enjoying every bite). I copied the daily skills sheets at school and will fill one out before I go to bed. I made a card about weight just being a number that gives me feedback about my behavior, not a measure of my worth, and put it on my bathroom door with my weight graph. I also made a reminder card about sitting down and eating slowly and put it on the refrigerator. I'm going to take Beck's suggestion to change my eating environment as a reminder to eat slowly; I can easily do that by sitting at the counter in my kitchen rather than at my dining table (which also has the advantage that I can not see my TV set from the counter). I did get up 15 minutes early this morning so I could read my cards. I read my Advantages Deck very slowly and took the time to bring to mind an image or memory for each of the advantages. For instance, for the one about lightness of body translating into lightness of spirit, I closed my eyes and remembered the feeling of running with my trainer and how happy it makes me.

My weight was unchanged this morning. I didn't go to the gym.



Great that she's also lost weight -- you can support each other around food as well as exercise. :)

She's lost about 60 pounds--and she did it partly because of my example!




Yes. And I know how counterproductive that is. :(

Yes, you DO know. And it's probably even MORE important to do the daily weighing when you are afraid of the result, because every time you don't do it, you reinforce the habit of not weighing unless you think you are going to be rewarded by a lower number. That gives the scale too much power. Believe me, I totally understand where you are coming from, so I am kicking my own butt here as much as I am kicking yours. Lately, I've had to argue with myself every morning to get myself on the scale. It's one of those things that has to go in the NO CHOICE category.

Oops, gotta go! I'm going to save this and hope to get back to finish responding later, but I've got a crazy 36 hours coming up...have two meetings this evening, then need to take an ambien and get into bed by 8 because I have to do the 3am-6am shift at Relay for Life chaperoning, then the fm at 8am - 1pm, and I may just want to go back to bed after that.

YIKES. I need a nap just reading that, especially the part about the 3-6AM shift. That's cruel and unusual punishment!! I hope you have a good day tomorrow despite all of those commitments. :(

Oh, my counselor had to cancel my appointment for today, and we rescheduled for next Friday. And the other thing of note that happened today is that I spoke on the phone to Mr. Hot and Cold, and I handled it calmly. Best of all, I did NOT eat anything afterward. YAY ME!

SATURDAY: You must be sleeping!! I will be shortly, too, since I am on my way to bed before it's even dark out! I'm totally beat. Made some progress today, though. I got up early and read my cards, continuing to associate images and memories with each of the advantages. Today at breakfast I did the task in which Beck says to divide a food in half, then eat half quickly while distracted and the other half slowly and mindfully, to discover the difference in enjoyment. This proved very interesting indeed. I discovered that I actually had trouble eating quickly, and even though I was reading the newspaper while eating, I automatically kept directing my attention back and forth between the newspaper and my food. That was a revelation. I guess I have learned more about mindful eating than I realized! (I know that I eat totally mindlessly during my meltdowns, though.) I spent the day at a Longaberger event where I had a $20 voucher for lunch in their restaurant, so I had lunch out. I decided to try your strategy for eating out. I ordered what I really wanted from the menu (a modified Reuben sandwich [no dressing--GAG--and wheat bread instead of rye] and strawberry shortcake) but ate small portions. I had less than half of the sandwich (which had only ONE slice of corned beef on it anyway--skimpiest one I was ever served, but it was still delicious), four french fries, and half of the shortcake. I ate everything very slowly and mindfully (ate the sandwich with a knife and fork to further slow myself down), not reading the book I had brought along, truly enjoying every mouthful and walking away feeling satisfied and guilt-free. I did have a moment of indecision when the waitress first asked me what I wanted to drink (this was the first time I had to place an order since going soda-free). But I got water. YAY ME! I will fill out my skills sheet before bed. I weighed once this morning (down 1.2) and recorded it on my graph. I contacted my diet buddy.

I hope you had a good, or at least productive, day and are catching up on your rest!

SUNDAY: I weighed once this morning, down .2. I read my cards before breakfast. This time, while I read my Advantages Deck, I associated each one with some event that was on my schedule for today, imagining each event being thin vs. being fat. All these little tricks I have tried seem to be helping me to process my cards more deeply and really think about what I am reading. I continued working on slow and mindful eating. Yesterday when I went to the event at the Homestead, I was given a flower crafted from basket weavers. I put it in a bud vase. In addition to eating at my kitchen counter (a new place to eat) today, I also used a new placemat AND put the "flower" on the counter in front of me, partly to set a festive mood but mostly to remind me to eat slowly and mindfully. I also was careful to leave a bite of most foods (something I hadn't done in a long time). I ate about 1280 calories today. I filled out my skills sheet last night and will do one tonight before bed. I contacted my diet buddy. I didn't get any planned exercise today, though. I am planning to get up early enough in the morning to go to the gym before leaving for Niagara Falls. I will not be taking my scale with me. I won't have my computer, either, so I will not check in again until Thursday night.

I hope you are OK and that you will have posted by the time I get back. My pastor gave a really good sermon today. The message had a religious context, of course, but the upshot of it was that "true friends hold each other accountable." Of course this made me think of you and the awesome journey we have taken together. I absolutely consider you a wonderful friend, and I hope you think of me as your friend, too. You've always kicked my butt when I deserved it or needed it, so I want to do the same for you (assuming you need it). This is a journey we need to take together, OK?

va1erie
05-14-2012, 02:18 PM
Sorry, slept most of Saturday and was sick yesterday. Still sick today, bleah. :(

Oh, my counselor had to cancel my appointment for today, and we rescheduled for next Friday. And the other thing of note that happened today is that I spoke on the phone to Mr. Hot and Cold, and I handled it calmly. Best of all, I did NOT eat anything afterward. YAY ME![quote] Yay, you indeed!

[quote]SATURDAY: You must be sleeping!! I will be shortly, too, since I am on my way to bed before it's even dark out! I'm totally beat. Made some progress today, though. I got up early and read my cards, continuing to associate images and memories with each of the advantages. Today at breakfast I did the task in which Beck says to divide a food in half, then eat half quickly while distracted and the other half slowly and mindfully, to discover the difference in enjoyment. This proved very interesting indeed. I discovered that I actually had trouble eating quickly, and even though I was reading the newspaper while eating, I automatically kept directing my attention back and forth between the newspaper and my food. That was a revelation. I guess I have learned more about mindful eating than I realized! That is interesting! I don't think I ever did that experiment...or at least I don't remember it. (I know that I eat totally mindlessly during my meltdowns, though.) I spent the day at a Longaberger event where I had a $20 voucher for lunch in their restaurant, so I had lunch out. I decided to try your strategy for eating out. I ordered what I really wanted from the menu (a modified Reuben sandwich [no dressing--GAG--and wheat bread instead of rye] and strawberry shortcake) but ate small portions. I had less than half of the sandwich (which had only ONE slice of corned beef on it anyway--skimpiest one I was ever served, but it was still delicious), four french fries, and half of the shortcake. I ate everything very slowly and mindfully (ate the sandwich with a knife and fork to further slow myself down), not reading the book I had brought along, truly enjoying every mouthful and walking away feeling satisfied and guilt-free. I did have a moment of indecision when the waitress first asked me what I wanted to drink (this was the first time I had to place an order since going soda-free). But I got water. YAY ME! Yay, you! Why wheat instead of rye -- is wheat better than rye? I will fill out my skills sheet before bed. I weighed once this morning (down 1.2) and recorded it on my graph. I contacted my diet buddy. And yay for being down 1.2! :)


SUNDAY: I weighed once this morning, down .2. I read my cards before breakfast. This time, while I read my Advantages Deck, I associated each one with some event that was on my schedule for today, imagining each event being thin vs. being fat. What a great idea! I need to remember that one. All these little tricks I have tried seem to be helping me to process my cards more deeply and really think about what I am reading. I continued working on slow and mindful eating. Yesterday when I went to the event at the Homestead, I was given a flower crafted from basket weavers. I put it in a bud vase. In addition to eating at my kitchen counter (a new place to eat) today, I also used a new placemat AND put the "flower" on the counter in front of me, partly to set a festive mood but mostly to remind me to eat slowly and mindfully. I also was careful to leave a bite of most foods (something I hadn't done in a long time). I've been bad about that, too. I ate about 1280 calories today. I filled out my skills sheet last night and will do one tonight before bed. I contacted my diet buddy. I didn't get any planned exercise today, though. I am planning to get up early enough in the morning to go to the gym before leaving for Niagara Falls. I will not be taking my scale with me. I won't have my computer, either, so I will not check in again until Thursday night. Oh, and here I am back and now you're back out again -- I'm sorry! It was such a messed-up weekend.

I hope you are OK and that you will have posted by the time I get back. My pastor gave a really good sermon today. The message had a religious context, of course, but the upshot of it was that "true friends hold each other accountable." Of course this made me think of you and the awesome journey we have taken together. I absolutely consider you a wonderful friend, and I hope you think of me as your friend, too. You've always kicked my butt when I deserved it or needed it, so I want to do the same for you (assuming you need it). This is a journey we need to take together, OK? Yes, we both need it, and yes, you're my friend. :) I will absolutely do my best to make time for Beck in the next week. This past month and the month ahead are just crazed at our house. I'm not sure I've ever had a more crazy schedule than mid-April through mid-June 2012. And August is going to be nuts too. I've been trying to offload less-important things but it's hard to give up things that seem important even when they aren't really. I just purchased three flats of flowers, for instance. Why? Like I can't go one year without planting annuals when life is too crazy? :D

OTOH I am trying to find time to just relax. I purposely scheduled two meetings not =quite= back-to-back at the same restaurant on Friday so that I'd have a half hour to read in the sun on the patio and have a glass of wine between the two of them. :)

4EverLearning
05-18-2012, 12:12 AM
Sorry, slept most of Saturday and was sick yesterday. Still sick today, bleah. :(


Sorry to hear you were sick.:( Hope you are feeling better now!

That is interesting! I don't think I ever did that experiment...or at least I don't remember it. Yay, you! Why wheat instead of rye -- is wheat better than rye?

I don't think I had ever done that one, either. I think at that point we were still using the first book, and that experiment is only in the second book.

What a great idea! I need to remember that one. I've been bad about that, too.

I thought so, too, if I do say so myself!!

Yes, we both need it, and yes, you're my friend. :) I will absolutely do my best to make time for Beck in the next week. This past month and the month ahead are just crazed at our house. I'm not sure I've ever had a more crazy schedule than mid-April through mid-June 2012. And August is going to be nuts too. I've been trying to offload less-important things but it's hard to give up things that seem important even when they aren't really. I just purchased three flats of flowers, for instance. Why? Like I can't go one year without planting annuals when life is too crazy? :D

Yes, the world would keep turning if you didn't plant any annuals for a year. But it's always difficult to let things go when they feed into your identity and your self-esteem.

I got home this evening. I had a great time and did really well with my eating for the most part, making good choices when they were available and eating very small portions when the options were less diet-friendly. I tolerated lots of hunger and gave myself lots of credit. And I did a lot of walking. But there was one notable exception. Last evening there was a party with an open bar. My friend and I each got a glass of wine and intended to drink just one. But a server kept coming around and topping off the glasses, so casually that we hardly noticed. I have no idea how much I actually drank, but I probably ended up drinking more than I have since the wild days of my misspent youth (although nowhere near blackout stage, thankfully), and so did my friend. We ended up walking (none too steadily) to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner (good thing we weren't driving). We had planned all along to go there, and I had planned to have a "real" hamburger and eat just half of it. Well, I discovered that it's really hard to stop myself from eating delicious food with all that disinhibition going on, and I ended up eating the entire burger along with about half of the fries. On top of the calories from the wine, this was definitely a diet buster. I also drank a Diet Coke with dinner, because I ordered it mindlessly when the waitress asked me what I wanted to drink. Oh, well, move on. But big lesson learned: copious alcohol consumption does not facilitate restrained eating! And I was too out of it to really even enjoy the burger. Definitely not an experience I want to repeat.

One other thing of note: I also had a Diet Coke in the middle of one afternoon of the conference when I was so tired I was falling asleep on the table. It didn't even taste very good. And the worst part was that it induced a major hypoglycemic episode complete with confusion, the shakes, and that desperate, clawing, gnawing hunger that can't be ignored. I ended up eating half a candy bar to counteract the low blood sugar. I was astonished at the intensity of my reaction to one measly can of Diet Coke.

Between the drunken hamburger and the dreaded travel bloat, I am not expecting tomorrow's weigh-in to be pretty. I have only 8 days before I leave for the Grand Canyon, so I am going to step up the exercise this week. I will get up early tomorrow and start the day by reading my cards. I will also pay very careful attention to eating slowly and mindfully.

va1erie
05-18-2012, 05:03 AM
Yes, the world would keep turning if you didn't plant any annuals for a year. But it's always difficult to let things go when they feed into your identity and your self-esteem. I think it's also my not-so-latent perfectionism which spring gardening always triggers. This year I will garden PERFECTLY! It's that two-part meme you see everywhere online: Plant ALL the annuals! Weed ALL the beds! Divide ALL the perennials! Fertilize ALL the weeks! By August when I get home from vacation and the beds are clogged with weeds and it's 95 out by 9am...I'm at the second part: Weed -all- the beds?

I got home this evening. I had a great time and did really well with my eating for the most part, making good choices when they were available and eating very small portions when the options were less diet-friendly. I tolerated lots of hunger and gave myself lots of credit. And I did a lot of walking.

Yay, you!

But there was one notable exception. Last evening there was a party with an open bar. My friend and I each got a glass of wine and intended to drink just one. But a server kept coming around and topping off the glasses, so casually that we hardly noticed. I have no idea how much I actually drank, but I probably ended up drinking more than I have since the wild days of my misspent youth (although nowhere near blackout stage, thankfully), and so did my friend. We ended up walking (none too steadily) to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner (good thing we weren't driving). We had planned all along to go there, and I had planned to have a "real" hamburger and eat just half of it. Well, I discovered that it's really hard to stop myself from eating delicious food with all that disinhibition going on, and I ended up eating the entire burger along with about half of the fries. On top of the calories from the wine, this was definitely a diet buster. I also drank a Diet Coke with dinner, because I ordered it mindlessly when the waitress asked me what I wanted to drink. Oh, well, move on. But big lesson learned: copious alcohol consumption does not facilitate restrained eating! And I was too out of it to really even enjoy the burger. Definitely not an experience I want to repeat. Oh, well. Yes, I do understand about alcohol consumption and restrained eating, LOL! :) And about not even really enjoying the burger -- that's the worst part!

One other thing of note: I also had a Diet Coke in the middle of one afternoon of the conference when I was so tired I was falling asleep on the table. It didn't even taste very good. And the worst part was that it induced a major hypoglycemic episode complete with confusion, the shakes, and that desperate, clawing, gnawing hunger that can't be ignored. I ended up eating half a candy bar to counteract the low blood sugar. I was astonished at the intensity of my reaction to one measly can of Diet Coke. WOW! I had no idea a diet coke could cause that reaction when you aren't used to it! Is that because you'd been diabetic? I'm sure I've gone many days without a diet pop before drinking one, and I don't think I've ever noticed anything like that. Do you ever drink coffee?

Between the drunken hamburger and the dreaded travel bloat, I am not expecting tomorrow's weigh-in to be pretty. Travel bloat, yeah, and the salt from the burger and fries, sure. But one burger and a few more fries than you'd planned is probably no big deal, especially when you'd been doing a lot of walking. I bet the effects will be gone in a couple of days. I have only 8 days before I leave for the Grand Canyon, so I am going to step up the exercise this week. I will get up early tomorrow and start the day by reading my cards. I will also pay very careful attention to eating slowly and mindfully. Good for you! Wow, I can't believe your GC trip is upon us! How are you feeling about that? You're at basically the same weight as the last time they saw you, is that correct? So maybe they'll get it: this "obsession" with exercising and controlling your portions, even on vacation, is simply what formerly-fat people have to do to maintain. How many people maintain their weight loss for a year? I bet it's under half. I read somewhere that of those who use only diet (rather than changing their exercise habits too), 95% will regain within 3-5 years. I think that's oversimplifying, though. I think it's that people who maintain have truly CHANGED the way they approach food and exercise. They haven't just changed their behaviors to lose weight. They've embraced these behaviors as part of their lives. They wouldn't go on vacation and not exercise or not eat mostly-healthy any more than they'd go on vacation and not brush their teeth. Oh, take a break from this obsession with brushing your teeth twice a day! You're on vacation! Live a little!

I'm up early to go exercise. Weighed, and I'm JUST within goal, where I've been for the past week-plus. I really want to get back safely under goal. Been doing a lot of gardening (yes, bought two more flats of begonias plus several more perennials and planted peas), which can't hurt. I wish I knew where my pedometer was, I'm sure I'm getting tons of steps in. That's one good thing about my perennial though short-blooming spring gardening enthusiasm.

Have a great day!

4EverLearning
05-18-2012, 11:52 PM
I think it's also my not-so-latent perfectionism which spring gardening always triggers. This year I will garden PERFECTLY! It's that two-part meme you see everywhere online: Plant ALL the annuals! Weed ALL the beds! Divide ALL the perennials! Fertilize ALL the weeks! By August when I get home from vacation and the beds are clogged with weeds and it's 95 out by 9am...I'm at the second part: Weed -all- the beds?

That perfectionism is definitely part of your identity and is yet another manifestation of that all-or-nothing thinking that gets us in such trouble with food. What would a good middle ground be for your gardens, and what do you need to say to yourself to help you feel comfortable with that middle ground?




Oh, well. Yes, I do understand about alcohol consumption and restrained eating, LOL! :) And about not even really enjoying the burger -- that's the worst part!

You were definitely on my mind while I was eating that burger--I kept thinking, so THIS is what Val is talking about!! ;)

WOW! I had no idea a diet coke could cause that reaction when you aren't used to it! Is that because you'd been diabetic? I'm sure I've gone many days without a diet pop before drinking one, and I don't think I've ever noticed anything like that. Do you ever drink coffee?

I'm sure that my hypoglycemic reactions are related to my diabetes in some way, although I would imagine that the cause-and-effect goes in the opposite direction. In other words, I would suspect that my tendency toward hypoglycemia predated my diabetes and contributed to the development of diabetes. I've never tried coffee, although the idea of drinking something hot is certainly appealing given that I am almost always cold.

Travel bloat, yeah, and the salt from the burger and fries, sure. But one burger and a few more fries than you'd planned is probably no big deal, especially when you'd been doing a lot of walking. I bet the effects will be gone in a couple of days.

I DID do a lot right, of which I was reminded when I reread the section on giving yourself credit earlier today. I realized that I was once again focusing on the few mistakes and not sufficiently acknowledging and celebrating all of my successes, and there were many of them.

Wow, I can't believe your GC trip is upon us! How are you feeling about that? You're at basically the same weight as the last time they saw you, is that correct? So maybe they'll get it: this "obsession" with exercising and controlling your portions, even on vacation, is simply what formerly-fat people have to do to maintain. How many people maintain their weight loss for a year? I bet it's under half. I read somewhere that of those who use only diet (rather than changing their exercise habits too), 95% will regain within 3-5 years. I think that's oversimplifying, though. I think it's that people who maintain have truly CHANGED the way they approach food and exercise. They haven't just changed their behaviors to lose weight. They've embraced these behaviors as part of their lives. They wouldn't go on vacation and not exercise or not eat mostly-healthy any more than they'd go on vacation and not brush their teeth. Oh, take a break from this obsession with brushing your teeth twice a day! You're on vacation! Live a little!

Well, I'm feeling a little regretful that I am obviously not going to get to 127 before I go like I had originally hoped--but only a little. I think that part of my recent gain has to be due to muscle development, because I've noticed little change in the way my clothes fit, and my stomach is actually flatter than it was. And I do weigh about the same I did at this time last year (the last time I saw my friends, other than Bev; I'm about 3 or 4 pounds heavier than the last time I saw her). But I look more fit and toned than I did a year ago. Hopefully they will be smart enough to figure out that my weight would have kept dropping if I was anorexic. (I talked with my therapist about this issue today, and she told me that she has been watching me carefully for signs of anorexia and is convinced that I do not have a problem.) I like what you said about teeth-brushing and will definitely use that analogy if my friends give me a hard time. My therapist also coached me to talk about how my vacation splurges are just in a different form than food now--I hunger for new and exciting experiences that I can fondly look back on for the rest of my life, not big fattening meals!

I completely agree with what you said about those studies that identify the behaviors of successful maintainers. They are too superficial. What really makes the difference is the permanent change in mindset that enables those behavioral changes.

I'm up early to go exercise. Weighed, and I'm JUST within goal, where I've been for the past week-plus. I really want to get back safely under goal. Been doing a lot of gardening (yes, bought two more flats of begonias plus several more perennials and planted peas), which can't hurt. I wish I knew where my pedometer was, I'm sure I'm getting tons of steps in. That's one good thing about my perennial though short-blooming spring gardening enthusiasm.

So you're weighing daily again? YAY YOU! Once you start working on the other skills again, your weight will take care of itself. You went to exercise class? YAY YOU!! How is your pain level these days? Still wearing your boot at all?

When is Jane's graduation? Is that part of your busyness and stress?

report: I weighed once (was up just .2, so I really must have done a lot of things right while I was away). I got up early to read my cards. This time, for my Advantages Deck, I associated each advantage with the way I imagine I will feel on my vacation, as opposed to how I would feel if I was facing the same trip at 220 pounds. I had a personal training session, at which my trainer tried really hard to teach me to refine my running technique so that I will be lighter on my feet and not be pounding my knees with every step. Once again I totally cracked up when he demonstrated for me how I look when I run! I ate everything sitting down at my kitchen counter, with my special placemat and basket flower. I also tried describing to myself the mouth sensations I experienced with each mouthful (like the crunchiness, crispness, and tartness of the apple I ate) to help slow me down and get more enjoyment from each bite. I will fill out my skills sheet before I go to bed. Tomorrow I will work on giving myself credit.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
05-19-2012, 07:48 AM
That perfectionism is definitely part of your identity and is yet another manifestation of that all-or-nothing thinking that gets us in such trouble with food. What would a good middle ground be for your gardens, and what do you need to say to yourself to help you feel comfortable with that middle ground? Well, for me the problem is that at this time of year I LOVE to use the garden to procrastinate nearly everything else. I love gardening on cool May and June mornings. So part of it is just lack of discipline. Then too I feel I need to keep the front of my house looking okay for the neighbors, but my real interest in gardening is vegetable gardening and perennial beds to make the deck and back yard pretty for me. I was actually thinking of maybe hiring a service and just telling them to make the front yard look like everyone else's, which would leave me to play in the back where no one can see my messy gardens. If it were up to me I'd plant veggies in the front yard because that's where I have the most sun and put the shady areas of the front yard in some low-maintenance groundcover. But that's not the kind of neighborhood I live in, unfortunately.


You were definitely on my mind while I was eating that burger--I kept thinking, so THIS is what Val is talking about!! ;) LOL! Yes, you've now experienced a wine-induced snackfest! :)



I'm sure that my hypoglycemic reactions are related to my diabetes in some way, although I would imagine that the cause-and-effect goes in the opposite direction. In other words, I would suspect that my tendency toward hypoglycemia predated my diabetes and contributed to the development of diabetes. I've never tried coffee, although the idea of drinking something hot is certainly appealing given that I am almost always cold. Whoa, you've never tried coffee? Man, I lived on it in grad school. I love me my coffee in the morning -- I can easily drink a pot by myself, which is why I started lowering the caffeine content. I've now got us at 1/4 caff, 3/4 decaff, and John hasn't said anything so I don't think he's noticed. I haven't really noticed any difference in how I feel either, though I think I'm averaging more cups than usual so maybe my body is trying to get more caffeine.

I DID do a lot right, of which I was reminded when I reread the section on giving yourself credit earlier today. I realized that I was once again focusing on the few mistakes and not sufficiently acknowledging and celebrating all of my successes, and there were many of them. Good for you for realizing and acknowledging the fact most of what you did was good.



Well, I'm feeling a little regretful that I am obviously not going to get to 127 before I go like I had originally hoped--but only a little. I think that part of my recent gain has to be due to muscle development, because I've noticed little change in the way my clothes fit, and my stomach is actually flatter than it was. And I do weigh about the same I did at this time last year (the last time I saw my friends, other than Bev; I'm about 3 or 4 pounds heavier than the last time I saw her). But I look more fit and toned than I did a year ago. Hopefully they will be smart enough to figure out that my weight would have kept dropping if I was anorexic. (I talked with my therapist about this issue today, and she told me that she has been watching me carefully for signs of anorexia and is convinced that I do not have a problem.) Good to hear, especially just as you go once more unto the breach with your dear friends. :) I wouldn't be at all surprised if your slight gain is indeed muscle if your stomach is flatter and your clothes don't feel any tighter. My therapist also coached me to talk about how my vacation splurges are just in a different form than food now--I hunger for new and exciting experiences that I can fondly look back on for the rest of my life, not big fattening meals! Yeah, a fattening meal at Applebee's is unlikely to be a memory you want to fondly look back on! :)

I completely agree with what you said about those studies that identify the behaviors of successful maintainers. They are too superficial. What really makes the difference is the permanent change in mindset that enables those behavioral changes. And good for us for getting back into Beck to help reset/strengthen our thinking! I've been listening to the CD again since I haven't been able to work the book consistently yet -- I'm going to do that until my time frees up, so I can at least be LISTENING to the info if not actually doing the exercises.

So you're weighing daily again? YAY YOU! Yes, and I'm glad I am. I'm holding steady. And I'm exercising, and since the weather's nice for gardening and walking I'll be getting more exercise than I have for the past six months or so. Once you start working on the other skills again, your weight will take care of itself. You went to exercise class? YAY YOU!! How is your pain level these days? Still wearing your boot at all? Not wearing the boot, not having any pain really. I'm still being careful about impact, though, probably will for a couple more weeks.

When is Jane's graduation? Is that part of your busyness and stress? Graduation is the 31st, her party (not here at our house, thank goodness -- she and two friends are having it at one of the other girls' houses because they have a pool) is the 27th, her last day of school is tomorrow! They let the seniors leave about two weeks before the end of the year as long as they don't need to take any finals to get a passing grade in a class they need to graduate.

report: I weighed once (was up just .2, so I really must have done a lot of things right while I was away). Yay!

I got up early to read my cards. This time, for my Advantages Deck, I associated each advantage with the way I imagine I will feel on my vacation, as opposed to how I would feel if I was facing the same trip at 220 pounds. I had a personal training session, at which my trainer tried really hard to teach me to refine my running technique so that I will be lighter on my feet and not be pounding my knees with every step. Once again I totally cracked up when he demonstrated for me how I look when I run! I ate everything sitting down at my kitchen counter, with my special placemat and basket flower. I also tried describing to myself the mouth sensations I experienced with each mouthful (like the crunchiness, crispness, and tartness of the apple I ate) to help slow me down and get more enjoyment from each bite. I will fill out my skills sheet before I go to bed. Tomorrow I will work on giving myself credit. A very good day!

I weighed, still holding steady even though last night was Dinner Club (two friends and I take turns choosing a restaurant we've either never been to or that is offering some special meal event) so that's good. Off to the farmers' market to help set up, then back here to plant begonias in the front yard and tomatoes in the side yard, back to the fm with Michael who is volunteering this summer at the market manager's booth, back home, back to the fm for teardown, the probably out with John for a cold drink after teardown, back home to shower and dress and head down to Kentucky for a heavily food-oriented charity event this evening. Not really looking forward to the drive, especially the drive home.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
05-20-2012, 12:22 AM
Well, for me the problem is that at this time of year I LOVE to use the garden to procrastinate nearly everything else. I love gardening on cool May and June mornings. So part of it is just lack of discipline. Then too I feel I need to keep the front of my house looking okay for the neighbors, but my real interest in gardening is vegetable gardening and perennial beds to make the deck and back yard pretty for me. I was actually thinking of maybe hiring a service and just telling them to make the front yard look like everyone else's, which would leave me to play in the back where no one can see my messy gardens. If it were up to me I'd plant veggies in the front yard because that's where I have the most sun and put the shady areas of the front yard in some low-maintenance groundcover. But that's not the kind of neighborhood I live in, unfortunately.

AH on the using gardening as a way to procrastinate. That's the way I use housecleaning. Whenever there's something I really don't want to do, I start cleaning. That way I can convince myself that I'm doing something productive and necessary! I live in a rather fancy-schmancy neighborhood, too, so I understand why you'd feel a need to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak. I think the idea of hiring a service to do the front yard for you makes perfect sense. Then you can focus your energy on what really matters to you--your vegetable gardens.


LOL! Yes, you've now experienced a wine-induced snackfest! :)

And I absolutely do not want to make a habit of them!!



Whoa, you've never tried coffee? Man, I lived on it in grad school. I love me my coffee in the morning -- I can easily drink a pot by myself, which is why I started lowering the caffeine content. I've now got us at 1/4 caff, 3/4 decaff, and John hasn't said anything so I don't think he's noticed. I haven't really noticed any difference in how I feel either, though I think I'm averaging more cups than usual so maybe my body is trying to get more caffeine.

If I had been drinking coffee on top of all that Diet Coke, I hate to think how wired I'd be. I'd be swinging from the chandeliers!! Interesting that you have reduced the caffeine so substantially and haven't noticed a significant difference. The fact that you are so sensitive to caffeine late in the day, to the point that it feeds your insomnia, says that you should feel a definite difference. Maybe, like you said, you are drinking so many extra cups that you end up consuming almost as much as you always did.

Good for you for realizing and acknowledging the fact most of what you did was good.

I created a new card today to address the credit issue. I would like to follow Beck's suggestion to get a clicker/counter to keep track of how many times I give myself credit in a day, but I don't know where I can buy one.



Good to hear, especially just as you go once more unto the breach with your dear friends. :)

Yes, going into the breach just about sums it up!!

I wouldn't be at all surprised if your slight gain is indeed muscle if your stomach is flatter and your clothes don't feel any tighter.

A big part of the reason my stomach is flatter is that I'm not consuming gallons of diet soda anymore. But I've also been working hard on abs exercises. I'm definitely noticeably more muscular.

Yeah, a fattening meal at Applebee's is unlikely to be a memory you want to fondly look back on! :)

The memory might stick with me, but it would be to haunt me!

And good for us for getting back into Beck to help reset/strengthen our thinking! I've been listening to the CD again since I haven't been able to work the book consistently yet -- I'm going to do that until my time frees up, so I can at least be LISTENING to the info if not actually doing the exercises.

YAY YOU for listening to the book. Although I've never tried it, I would bet that listening to the book without doing the exercises would be more beneficial than reading the book without doing the exercises, and I bet your mindset and behavior will begin to change even if you aren't explicitly practicing the skills.

Yes, and I'm glad I am. I'm holding steady. And I'm exercising, and since the weather's nice for gardening and walking I'll be getting more exercise than I have for the past six months or so. Not wearing the boot, not having any pain really. I'm still being careful about impact, though, probably will for a couple more weeks.

That all sounds terrific. As gorgeous as the weather has been lately, it's almost hard NOT to want to get out and move around.

Graduation is the 31st, her party (not here at our house, thank goodness -- she and two friends are having it at one of the other girls' houses because they have a pool) is the 27th, her last day of school is tomorrow! They let the seniors leave about two weeks before the end of the year as long as they don't need to take any finals to get a passing grade in a class they need to graduate.

I'm glad to hear you are not trying to plan a huge party on top of everything else that you have on your agenda. How is Jane feeling about this big transition in her life? And how are you feeling about your last chick leaving the nest? Remember when women's magazines used to go on and on about "empty nest syndrome"?



I weighed, still holding steady even though last night was Dinner Club (two friends and I take turns choosing a restaurant we've either never been to or that is offering some special meal event) so that's good. Off to the farmers' market to help set up, then back here to plant begonias in the front yard and tomatoes in the side yard, back to the fm with Michael who is volunteering this summer at the market manager's booth, back home, back to the fm for teardown, the probably out with John for a cold drink after teardown, back home to shower and dress and head down to Kentucky for a heavily food-oriented charity event this evening. Not really looking forward to the drive, especially the drive home.

Wow, that sounds like a long and exhausting day, with a number of food challenges, too. Is this the first time that Michael will be volunteering at the farmer's market? Is he home from school already?

my report: Weighed once (down .6). Stayed OP all day. Made an effort to give myself credit for every good choice, every helpful thought, and every desirable behavior. I read the next section of the book, about exercise. Although I obviously exercise much more than I ever did before, I think I still tend to be all-or-nothing about it, so I am going to work on making exercise a daily habit. Today I put on my gym clothes in the morning and told myself that I couldn't get dressed for the day or eat lunch until I hit the gym. I went for just 30 minutes, putting in 15 minutes on the rowing machine and 15 minutes on the elliptical, both at a moderate pace. But I still burned 150 calories! That could really make a difference over a long period of time. I read my cards before breakfast. Filled out my skills sheet. Contacted my diet buddy. Feeling much more in control again!

Hope your day was a happy and productive one despite the busyness!

va1erie
05-20-2012, 08:39 AM
AH on the using gardening as a way to procrastinate. That's the way I use housecleaning. Whenever there's something I really don't want to do, I start cleaning. That way I can convince myself that I'm doing something productive and necessary! I live in a rather fancy-schmancy neighborhood, too, so I understand why you'd feel a need to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak. I think the idea of hiring a service to do the front yard for you makes perfect sense. Then you can focus your energy on what really matters to you--your vegetable gardens. Yeah, I wonder how you even find a service? Angie's list, maybe? I'll have to look into it.

If I had been drinking coffee on top of all that Diet Coke, I hate to think how wired I'd be. I'd be swinging from the chandeliers!! Interesting that you have reduced the caffeine so substantially and haven't noticed a significant difference. The fact that you are so sensitive to caffeine late in the day, to the point that it feeds your insomnia, says that you should feel a definite difference. Maybe, like you said, you are drinking so many extra cups that you end up consuming almost as much as you always did. It's possible...I guess I'll find out when I cut it again. Ideally I'd like to get both of us to the point we aren't drinking more than a cup's worth of caffeine a day. Right now I'm drinking probably a pot of weak (I use 7 scoops instead of the 10 that the coffeemaker specifies) 3/4 decaff. So 10 cups x .7 x .25, right? So that's 1.75 cups worth of caffeinated full-strength coffee. Not too bad.

I created a new card today to address the credit issue. I would like to follow Beck's suggestion to get a clicker/counter to keep track of how many times I give myself credit in a day, but I don't know where I can buy one. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_st?keywords=counter+clicker&qid=1337518117&rh=n%3A3375251%2Ck%3Acounter+clicker&sort=reviewrank_authority

A big part of the reason my stomach is flatter is that I'm not consuming gallons of diet soda anymore. But I've also been working hard on abs exercises. I'm definitely noticeably more muscular. So cool! I wonder what your friends will think about that?

YAY YOU for listening to the book. Although I've never tried it, I would bet that listening to the book without doing the exercises would be more beneficial than reading the book without doing the exercises, and I bet your mindset and behavior will begin to change even if you aren't explicitly practicing the skills. That's what I'm hoping. Though I am not very good at listening. In college I used to have to take copious notes, nearly word for word, in lectures because when I stopped writing, my mind tended to wander.

I'm glad to hear you are not trying to plan a huge party on top of everything else that you have on your agenda. How is Jane feeling about this big transition in her life? And how are you feeling about your last chick leaving the nest? Remember when women's magazines used to go on and on about "empty nest syndrome"? Jane's been saying for weeks, maybe months, that she wishes she could just go to college now instead of having to finish up high school. At this point I think she's just plain anticipating it with excitement, though I'm sure she'll start feeling some anxiety as it gets closer. I'm mostly dreading the empty nest! I say mostly because I can see all the upsides to it -- I'll be free to travel with John whenever I want, for instance -- but I know it's going to feel very strange not to have any kids at home. When Michael left, I still had Jane. And Michael's quiet and undemanding and easy to get along with and stoic. Living without him is much like living with him. :) Jane's going to leave a giant gaping hole in our lives. OTOH, Jane at least will text me and return my texts. Michael forgets his phone, turns it off, doesn't think to check for texts and voice messages. I suspect I'll know a lot more about Jane's day-to-day life at school than I do for Michael.

Wow, that sounds like a long and exhausting day, with a number of food challenges, too. Is this the first time that Michael will be volunteering at the farmer's market? Is he home from school already? Long day, but it was fun! And I didn't gain weight, even though there were numerous unique items that I've never eaten before, so it's all good. Michael worked at the fm last year for the coffee lady, but this year her son is working the booth. I wish the kid would get a job! He's applied for ONE job. Gah. I've told him he needs to find ten online applications he can fill out. He's been home since the 3rd. Muskingum gets out early and offers a May term.

my report: Weighed once (down .6). Stayed OP all day. Made an effort to give myself credit for every good choice, every helpful thought, and every desirable behavior. I read the next section of the book, about exercise. Although I obviously exercise much more than I ever did before, I think I still tend to be all-or-nothing about it, so I am going to work on making exercise a daily habit. Today I put on my gym clothes in the morning and told myself that I couldn't get dressed for the day or eat lunch until I hit the gym. I went for just 30 minutes, putting in 15 minutes on the rowing machine and 15 minutes on the elliptical, both at a moderate pace. But I still burned 150 calories! That could really make a difference over a long period of time. I read my cards before breakfast. Filled out my skills sheet. Contacted my diet buddy. Feeling much more in control again! Yay, you for getting to the gym! I'm gardening again today so I'm not going to worry about formal exercise. It's not a lot of calories burned, but it's -activity- so I count it as a day I've exercised.

So you leave Friday? How many of your friends are going to be on the trip? Are you going to the South Rim or the North? Staying inside the park or outside? And are you going to ride a mule? :)

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
05-21-2012, 12:12 AM
Yeah, I wonder how you even find a service? Angie's list, maybe? I'll have to look into it.

Or just look up "landscaping" in the Yellow Pages! (My father was a landscaper.)

It's possible...I guess I'll find out when I cut it again. Ideally I'd like to get both of us to the point we aren't drinking more than a cup's worth of caffeine a day. Right now I'm drinking probably a pot of weak (I use 7 scoops instead of the 10 that the coffeemaker specifies) 3/4 decaff. So 10 cups x .7 x .25, right? So that's 1.75 cups worth of caffeinated full-strength coffee. Not too bad.

Nope, 1.75 cups of full-strength doesn't sound too bad. But ten cups of coffee made me go WHOA. That sounds like my Diet Coke habit!!

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_st?keywords=counter+clicker&qid=1337518117&rh=n%3A3375251%2Ck%3Acounter+clicker&sort=reviewrank_authority

LOL! I should have known you would find one right away! Thanks!!

So cool! I wonder what your friends will think about that?

I have no idea what they will think, but I'm curious to find out. Realistically, though, they probably won't even notice. Or, if they do, they'll see it as evidence that I am obsessed with going to the gym. I really can't win.

That's what I'm hoping. Though I am not very good at listening. In college I used to have to take copious notes, nearly word for word, in lectures because when I stopped writing, my mind tended to wander.

I was exactly the same way as a student. I took copious notes as a way of forcing myself to maintain my attention. Taking notes while reading serves the same function for me.

Jane's been saying for weeks, maybe months, that she wishes she could just go to college now instead of having to finish up high school. At this point I think she's just plain anticipating it with excitement, though I'm sure she'll start feeling some anxiety as it gets closer.

Yep. Remember that avoidance motivation grows at a faster rate than approach motivation, so, as the date of starting college looms, Jane will most likely become more anxious than excited.

I'm mostly dreading the empty nest! I say mostly because I can see all the upsides to it -- I'll be free to travel with John whenever I want, for instance -- but I know it's going to feel very strange not to have any kids at home. When Michael left, I still had Jane. And Michael's quiet and undemanding and easy to get along with and stoic. Living without him is much like living with him. :) Jane's going to leave a giant gaping hole in our lives. OTOH, Jane at least will text me and return my texts. Michael forgets his phone, turns it off, doesn't think to check for texts and voice messages. I suspect I'll know a lot more about Jane's day-to-day life at school than I do for Michael.

(I've been meaning to ask you--what does OTOH stand for? [I'm showing my ignorance of texting language, I realize.])

So you will feel Jane's leaving more than you did Michael's not only because your nest will now be empty, but also because their personalities are so different. But don't worry, in today's world, the nest generally has a revolving door. Late adolescents/young adults typically leave home and return many times before they finally fly away for good! Jane will be back!

Long day, but it was fun! And I didn't gain weight, even though there were numerous unique items that I've never eaten before, so it's all good. Michael worked at the fm last year for the coffee lady, but this year her son is working the booth. I wish the kid would get a job! He's applied for ONE job. Gah. I've told him he needs to find ten online applications he can fill out. He's been home since the 3rd. Muskingum gets out early and offers a May term.

YAY YOU for not gaining weight! Your strategy of sticking only to unusual items, and eating small portions, obviously works for you. Muskingum's semester ended the same day Kent's did. Has Michael ever had a paid job? I know you probably told me long ago what he is majoring in, but I can't remember. What are his long-term plans?

Yay, you for getting to the gym! I'm gardening again today so I'm not going to worry about formal exercise. It's not a lot of calories burned, but it's -activity- so I count it as a day I've exercised.

I remember well just how much work gardening is. I used to think it was a major workout (but of course that was when I weighed 220 pounds and was totally out of shape, so I was probably right!).

So you leave Friday? How many of your friends are going to be on the trip? Are you going to the South Rim or the North? Staying inside the park or outside? And are you going to ride a mule? :)

I leave early Saturday morning and will be traveling with three friends. I think it's the North Rim we're going to, and our hotel is inside the park. You are the third person today to ask me about the mule!!! I won't rule it out; remember, I'm supposed to be hungering for thrilling, memorable experiences, not fattening meals, and riding a mule definitely sounds memorable!!:D

I suddenly remembered today that you had asked me in a previous post if I substituted the bread in my Reuben sandwich because wheat bread is healthier than rye bread, and I never answered. The answer is that I ate the wheat bread because of my picky eating; rye bread is ICKY!! And it has SEEDS in it!! Blech!

report: Weighed once (up .6). Ate everything sitting at my kitchen counter. Read my cards before breakfast. Got on my treadmill for 15 minutes before breakfast. Made a new response card about the need to make exercise a daily habit. Recorded my food intake all day, something I hadn't done in quite some time. Contacted my diet buddy. Filled out my skills sheet.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym on my own before heading up to Kent for a meeting AND for another first date with an eHarmony match. I can't remember if I told you yet about this guy; he's actually a colleague who teaches at the main campus. He has been incredibly sweet to me, and we have wonderful, natural conversations. But I think he's a bit old for me (66), and his profile makes it very obvious that he is looking for a WIFE. That tends to scare me off. So I will see how it goes.

Hope you had a good day today!

va1erie
05-21-2012, 07:26 AM
Or just look up "landscaping" in the Yellow Pages! (My father was a landscaper.) It just seems like most landscaping companies want to come out and do a major project, then go away. Or they'll come out once a week to cut your lawn, but they don't want to come out and maintain beds. What I want is someone to come out once to get the beds in shape, then come out once a week for an hour or so and maintain them. I did find someone on Angie's List who seems to be willing to offer that, so I'm going to call them today and find out how much it would cost.

[quote]Nope, 1.75 cups of full-strength doesn't sound too bad. But ten cups of coffee made me go WHOA. That sounds like my Diet Coke habit!! Very much so! It was what made me go half-decaff in the first place.

I have no idea what they will think, but I'm curious to find out. Realistically, though, they probably won't even notice. Or, if they do, they'll see it as evidence that I am obsessed with going to the gym. I really can't win. Wrong! :) Whether or not they agree, you've won! :)

I was exactly the same way as a student. I took copious notes as a way of forcing myself to maintain my attention. Taking notes while reading serves the same function for me. I've always assumed it means I'm not an auditory learner.

Yep. Remember that avoidance motivation grows at a faster rate than approach motivation, so, as the date of starting college looms, Jane will most likely become more anxious than excited. I'm expecting that, although at this point she's so very excited about going to college that it'll be interesting to see.



(I've been meaning to ask you--what does OTOH stand for? [I'm showing my ignorance of texting language, I realize.]) On The Other Hand.



Has Michael ever had a paid job? I know you probably told me long ago what he is majoring in, but I can't remember. What are his long-term plans? The coffee booth was sort of paid employment -- she can't legally sell the coffee, so she gives it away for tips. At the end of the day she'd take out her expenses and give Michael the rest, and he often made $10/hr. He's been counting it as paid employment on his job applications, as she'll be happy to give him a reference as if it were some formal paid job.


I leave early Saturday morning and will be traveling with three friends. I think it's the North Rim we're going to, and our hotel is inside the park. You are the third person today to ask me about the mule!!! I won't rule it out; remember, I'm supposed to be hungering for thrilling, memorable experiences, not fattening meals, and riding a mule definitely sounds memorable!!:D Oh, the North Rim is great! The lodge is very nice, and the crowds are MUCH smaller than on the South Rim. From the North Rim you can also take a 3-hour drive to Colorado City AZ/Hilldale UT, a Fundamentalist LDS town that straddles the border, and drive around goggling at the ginormous polygamist homes. If you're flying into Las Vegas you have to drive right past the exit. If you go, visit the Merry Wives Cafe which is run by polygamists and has good food.


report: Weighed once (up .6). Ate everything sitting at my kitchen counter. Read my cards before breakfast. Got on my treadmill for 15 minutes before breakfast. Made a new response card about the need to make exercise a daily habit. Recorded my food intake all day, something I hadn't done in quite some time. Contacted my diet buddy. Filled out my skills sheet. Great day!

Tomorrow I will go to the gym on my own before heading up to Kent for a meeting AND for another first date with an eHarmony match. I can't remember if I told you yet about this guy; he's actually a colleague who teaches at the main campus. He has been incredibly sweet to me, and we have wonderful, natural conversations. But I think he's a bit old for me (66), and his profile makes it very obvious that he is looking for a WIFE. That tends to scare me off. So I will see how it goes. No, I don't think you've mentioned him -- so he's someone you've known before eHarmony?

Weighed (same), went to class this morning. Off I go to get some work done before it gets too hot! Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
05-21-2012, 07:26 AM
Or just look up "landscaping" in the Yellow Pages! (My father was a landscaper.) It just seems like most landscaping companies want to come out and do a major project, then go away. Or they'll come out once a week to cut your lawn, but they don't want to come out and maintain beds. What I want is someone to come out once to get the beds in shape, then come out once a week for an hour or so and maintain them. I did find someone on Angie's List who seems to be willing to offer that, so I'm going to call them today and find out how much it would cost.

Nope, 1.75 cups of full-strength doesn't sound too bad. But ten cups of coffee made me go WHOA. That sounds like my Diet Coke habit!! Very much so! It was what made me go half-decaff in the first place.

I have no idea what they will think, but I'm curious to find out. Realistically, though, they probably won't even notice. Or, if they do, they'll see it as evidence that I am obsessed with going to the gym. I really can't win. Wrong! :) Whether or not they agree, you've won! :)

I was exactly the same way as a student. I took copious notes as a way of forcing myself to maintain my attention. Taking notes while reading serves the same function for me. I've always assumed it means I'm not an auditory learner.

Yep. Remember that avoidance motivation grows at a faster rate than approach motivation, so, as the date of starting college looms, Jane will most likely become more anxious than excited. I'm expecting that, although at this point she's so very excited about going to college that it'll be interesting to see.



(I've been meaning to ask you--what does OTOH stand for? [I'm showing my ignorance of texting language, I realize.]) On The Other Hand.



Has Michael ever had a paid job? I know you probably told me long ago what he is majoring in, but I can't remember. What are his long-term plans? The coffee booth was sort of paid employment -- she can't legally sell the coffee, so she gives it away for tips. At the end of the day she'd take out her expenses and give Michael the rest, and he often made $10/hr. He's been counting it as paid employment on his job applications, as she'll be happy to give him a reference as if it were some formal paid job.


I leave early Saturday morning and will be traveling with three friends. I think it's the North Rim we're going to, and our hotel is inside the park. You are the third person today to ask me about the mule!!! I won't rule it out; remember, I'm supposed to be hungering for thrilling, memorable experiences, not fattening meals, and riding a mule definitely sounds memorable!!:D Oh, the North Rim is great! The lodge is very nice, and the crowds are MUCH smaller than on the South Rim. From the North Rim you can also take a 3-hour drive to Colorado City AZ/Hilldale UT, a Fundamentalist LDS town that straddles the border, and drive around goggling at the ginormous polygamist homes. If you're flying into Las Vegas you have to drive right past the exit. If you go, visit the Merry Wives Cafe which is run by polygamists and has good food.


report: Weighed once (up .6). Ate everything sitting at my kitchen counter. Read my cards before breakfast. Got on my treadmill for 15 minutes before breakfast. Made a new response card about the need to make exercise a daily habit. Recorded my food intake all day, something I hadn't done in quite some time. Contacted my diet buddy. Filled out my skills sheet. Great day!

Tomorrow I will go to the gym on my own before heading up to Kent for a meeting AND for another first date with an eHarmony match. I can't remember if I told you yet about this guy; he's actually a colleague who teaches at the main campus. He has been incredibly sweet to me, and we have wonderful, natural conversations. But I think he's a bit old for me (66), and his profile makes it very obvious that he is looking for a WIFE. That tends to scare me off. So I will see how it goes. No, I don't think you've mentioned him -- so he's someone you've known before eHarmony?

Weighed (same), went to class this morning. Off I go to get some work done before it gets too hot! Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
05-22-2012, 12:04 AM
It just seems like most landscaping companies want to come out and do a major project, then go away. Or they'll come out once a week to cut your lawn, but they don't want to come out and maintain beds. What I want is someone to come out once to get the beds in shape, then come out once a week for an hour or so and maintain them. I did find someone on Angie's List who seems to be willing to offer that, so I'm going to call them today and find out how much it would cost.

Hmmm. My father's company used to do that kind of regular maintenance. But maybe that was a function of being in the hoity-toity Hamptons where no one wants to get their hands dirty!

Very much so! It was what made me go half-decaff in the first place.

I would think that the acid in that much coffee would be really hard on your stomach. But of course the same could be said of all diet soda I used to guzzle!

Wrong! :) Whether or not they agree, you've won! :)

LOL!! I guess that's the way to look at it--I win either way. I can't control their reactions. And the truth is that I really don't care, or at least not nearly as much as I once did.

I've always assumed it means I'm not an auditory learner.

No, not necessarily; it just means that two sensory modalities (auditory AND kinesthetic) are better than one alone!

I'm expecting that, although at this point she's so very excited about going to college that it'll be interesting to see.

The more excited she is, the closer she will have to get to the actual event before the dread will overtake the excitement. And if she's excited enough, maybe the dread will never overtake it!



On The Other Hand.

Of course! DUH.



The coffee booth was sort of paid employment -- she can't legally sell the coffee, so she gives it away for tips. At the end of the day she'd take out her expenses and give Michael the rest, and he often made $10/hr. He's been counting it as paid employment on his job applications, as she'll be happy to give him a reference as if it were some formal paid job.

I'd definitely count $10 an hour as paid employment. There are weeks that I doubt I make $10 an hour!!


Oh, the North Rim is great! The lodge is very nice, and the crowds are MUCH smaller than on the South Rim. From the North Rim you can also take a 3-hour drive to Colorado City AZ/Hilldale UT, a Fundamentalist LDS town that straddles the border, and drive around goggling at the ginormous polygamist homes. If you're flying into Las Vegas you have to drive right past the exit. If you go, visit the Merry Wives Cafe which is run by polygamists and has good food.

Thanks for the tip!! It cracks me up that there is a restaurant that capitalizes on tourists' voyeuristic desires to see get up close and personal with polygamists--kinda like what the Amish do here!




No, I don't think you've mentioned him -- so he's someone you've known before eHarmony?

Nope, I had never heard of him until we got matched on eHarmony. We had a great time today and are going to get together for dinner on Thursday.

Weighed (same), went to class this morning. Off I go to get some work done before it gets too hot! Hope you had a great day!

I'm glad your weight is staying the same and that you went to class. YAY!

report: Weighed once (down .6). Read my cards before breakfast. Had planned to go to the gym but didn't make it there. Ate OP breakfast and dinner. Ate half of what was undoubtedly a fattening sandwich for lunch, and gave myself credit for pushing the other half aside. Contacted my diet buddy.

Until tomorrow!

va1erie
05-22-2012, 04:44 AM
I would think that the acid in that much coffee would be really hard on your stomach. But of course the same could be said of all diet soda I used to guzzle! I hadn't thought about the issue of acid...does decaff have the same amount of acid as regular coffee?



I can't control their reactions. And the truth is that I really don't care, or at least not nearly as much as I once did. And this trip may represent the fitting-in-of-the-new-Robin. On the last trip, everyone was surprised, and the surprises represent changes that affected the group. This trip, maybe it'll feel more like no major changes need to be dealt with.

The more excited she is, the closer she will have to get to the actual event before the dread will overtake the excitement. And if she's excited enough, maybe the dread will never overtake it! Let's hope it works out that way! :)

Thanks for the tip!! It cracks me up that there is a restaurant that capitalizes on tourists' voyeuristic desires to see get up close and personal with polygamists--kinda like what the Amish do here! Exactly. And among the polygamists there's no particular religious aversion to doing so.

Nope, I had never heard of him until we got matched on eHarmony. We had a great time today and are going to get together for dinner on Thursday. Nice!

Ate half of what was undoubtedly a fattening sandwich for lunch, and gave myself credit for pushing the other half aside. Yay, you!

Weighed (down .8 to 117, so yay, at least I'm moving in the right direction, even if extremely slowly.) Gardened all morning.

Glad you had a nice time with your new match! Sorry this one's so far away again!

4EverLearning
05-22-2012, 11:16 PM
I hadn't thought about the issue of acid...does decaff have the same amount of acid as regular coffee?

I would think they would be comparable, but I don't really know.



And this trip may represent the fitting-in-of-the-new-Robin. On the last trip, everyone was surprised, and the surprises represent changes that affected the group. This trip, maybe it'll feel more like no major changes need to be dealt with.

I can't tell you how much I hope you are right. I love my friends and miss the easy companionship I used to enjoy with them. But I am no longer willing to let what someone else thinks of me dictate my life.



Exactly. And among the polygamists there's no particular religious aversion to doing so.

And I bet they allow their pictures to be taken, too!

Weighed (down .8 to 117, so yay, at least I'm moving in the right direction, even if extremely slowly.) Gardened all morning.

YAY for moving in the right direction!! Who cares how long it takes?

Glad you had a nice time with your new match! Sorry this one's so far away again!

65 easy miles on the interstate doesn't feel far away to me, and Kent is like home to me, considering how much time I have spent there over the years. We're going to meet for dinner on Thursday.

report: weighed once (no change). Read my cards. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Filled out my skills sheet. Had an extra-intense training session. Contacted my diet buddy. Had a low calorie day (about 1180) and thankfully am not extremely hungry as a result.

Have a great day tomorrow!

WEDNESDAY: weighed once (no change). Read my cards. Stayed OP. Did not exercise. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Very busy day getting ready for my trip! Will check in tomorrow night before I leave. Hope you are just busy!

THURSDAY: weighed once (down .4). Had to get up super early because a plumber was coming and did not get up in time to read my cards (only got 3 hours of sleep last night and am exhausted). Had a very intense personal training session that was all cardio. Went on my second date with my latest match and had a nice time (had a half portion of fettucine alfredo with chicken and spinach, with the sauce on the side, so I barely tasted it). I had only eaten 680 calories before dinner, so I should be OK. Hope you are OK!

va1erie
05-24-2012, 10:29 PM
I can't tell you how much I hope you are right. I love my friends and miss the easy companionship I used to enjoy with them. But I am no longer willing to let what someone else thinks of me dictate my life. Fingers crossed, then!








YAY for moving in the right direction!! Who cares how long it takes? Exactly. I figure any month I weigh less than I did the month before is a winner.



65 easy miles on the interstate doesn't feel far away to me, and Kent is like home to me, considering how much time I have spent there over the years. We're going to meet for dinner on Thursday. How did your dinner go?

report: weighed once (no change). Read my cards. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Filled out my skills sheet. Had an extra-intense training session. Contacted my diet buddy. Had a low calorie day (about 1180) and thankfully am not extremely hungry as a result. Another great day for you! Yay, you!

Have a great day tomorrow!

WEDNESDAY: weighed once (no change). Read my cards. Stayed OP. Did not exercise. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Very busy day getting ready for my trip! Will check in tomorrow night before I leave. Hope you are just busy! Whoops, I swear I posted! Hm. I did have a crazy day, maybe I didn't!

THURSDAY: weighed once (down .4). Had to get up super early because a plumber was coming and did not get up in time to read my cards (only got 3 hours of sleep last night and am exhausted). Had a very intense personal training session that was all cardio. Went on my second date with my latest match and had a nice time (had a half portion of fettucine alfredo with chicken and spinach, with the sauce on the side, so I barely tasted it). I had only eaten 680 calories before dinner, so I should be OK. Hope you are OK! Just getting in here late today! So glad you had a nice time with your latest match. Yum on the fettucine alfredo! That's a meal I have never successfully made. I either get the veggies overcooked or the sauce too thick.

Weighed (no change, yay), did an hour-long walk with a friend. Must dig compost into a bed tomorrow. Not sure I'll make it to my class, but I'm going to set my alarm. Sorry to go missing!

FRIDAY: Weighed, up .8, probably because I ate too much at dinner -- got way too hungry because the senior recognition program ran THREE HOURS. Seriously, Senor Spanish teacher, you need to summarize the plot of Don Quixote in order to hand out the award for the top Spanish student? I'm all for recognizing kids for academic achievement, but honestly THREE HOURS? Jane got Summa Cum Laude, which at Sycamore means she never had a quarter where she earned under a 3.6. Only about 5% of students got that, and with her struggles this year I'm very proud. :) She also was first in the state for some journalism thing; even she's not sure what it means exactly. :) Walked to class this morning, am going out now to dig that compost bed before it gets hot! Hope you had a great day! You leave tomorrow, right? Wow!

4EverLearning
05-25-2012, 10:11 PM
Exactly. I figure any month I weigh less than I did the month before is a winner.

Me, too. We're easy to please, aren't we?



How did your dinner go?

I had fun, and I like him, although I'm not sure I'm ever going to feel any chemistry. He seems to be feeling it, though. His facial expression when he gazes at me reminds me of the look on my cat's face when she was watching my pet rats!




Just getting in here late today! So glad you had a nice time with your latest match. Yum on the fettucine alfredo! That's a meal I have never successfully made. I either get the veggies overcooked or the sauce too thick.

I'm just glad you're OK! Yep, I hate Alfredo sauce that's too thick.

Weighed (no change, yay), did an hour-long walk with a friend. Must dig compost into a bed tomorrow. Not sure I'll make it to my class, but I'm going to set my alarm.

YAY!

FRIDAY: Weighed, up .8, probably because I ate too much at dinner -- got way too hungry because the senior recognition program ran THREE HOURS. Seriously, Senor Spanish teacher, you need to summarize the plot of Don Quixote in order to hand out the award for the top Spanish student? I'm all for recognizing kids for academic achievement, but honestly THREE HOURS? Jane got Summa Cum Laude, which at Sycamore means she never had a quarter where she earned under a 3.6. Only about 5% of students got that, and with her struggles this year I'm very proud. :) She also was first in the state for some journalism thing; even she's not sure what it means exactly. :) Walked to class this morning, am going out now to dig that compost bed before it gets hot! Hope you had a great day! You leave tomorrow, right? Wow!

WOO HOO, congratulations to Jane and to you, too! That is very exciting and a real accomplishment considering the rough year she has had. And that's great about the journalism "thing" too!! :D I completely agree about a three-your recognition program. I'd have been squirming and sighing and generally acting like a kid with ADD. YIKES!

Yep, I leave tomorrow. WOO HOO!! I'll be lucky to get three hours of sleep tonight, since I'm still packing, and I have to get up around 3AM. Not my favorite hour. I read my cards this morning. Weighed once (no change). Did not get any planned exercise but was in perpetual motion all day. Ate everything sitting down but not as slowly and mindfully as I should have. Ate about 1300 calories today. Hopefully I will come back from my trip no more than two pounds heavier; that's my plan, anyway! I will not have my scale or my computer with me, so this will be my last report until next Saturday night. I hope you have a great week!

va1erie
06-02-2012, 07:41 AM
I had fun, and I like him, although I'm not sure I'm ever going to feel any chemistry. He seems to be feeling it, though. His facial expression when he gazes at me reminds me of the look on my cat's face when she was watching my pet rats! LOL! Well, it's nice to find someone who appreciates you! Chemistry schmemistry. Chemistry fades. I believe in choosing someone you can be happy with, and that's more about the things you have in common and the way he interacts with you than whether he stirs your loins. :) It's nice to find both, of course.

WOO HOO, congratulations to Jane and to you, too! That is very exciting and a real accomplishment considering the rough year she has had. And that's great about the journalism "thing" too!! :D I completely agree about a three-your recognition program. I'd have been squirming and sighing and generally acting like a kid with ADD. YIKES! When the kids first walked in, I was surprised to see nearly every one had a high honors cord. Then I realized, duh! Of course it's only the kids who are actually getting some sort of recognition who show up, and most of those are the same ones who pulled a 3.6 cumulative or better. There were a few students being recognized by the armed services for joining or going ROTC, but even the high-achieving artists and musicians tended to be wearing an honors cord of some sort.

Yep, I leave tomorrow. WOO HOO!! I'll be lucky to get three hours of sleep tonight, since I'm still packing, and I have to get up around 3AM. Not my favorite hour. I read my cards this morning. Weighed once (no change). Did not get any planned exercise but was in perpetual motion all day. Ate everything sitting down but not as slowly and mindfully as I should have. Ate about 1300 calories today. Hopefully I will come back from my trip no more than two pounds heavier; that's my plan, anyway! I will not have my scale or my computer with me, so this will be my last report until next Saturday night. I hope you have a great week! Yow on getting up at 3am! Hope it went smoothly.

Report: weighed (updating for the week) and I'm down three pounds to 115.8, so once again safely under goal. Went to class Friday after having missed Wednesday because of a bad night's sleep and Monday because it was Memorial Day. (I actually got up and dressed and went to class Monday and only remembered it was Memorial Day when I found the studio closed!) Missed last Friday too -- I'd gotten up, dressed, went to class, then couldn't go in because I was upset over something that had happened to Jane and I knew I was going to be distracted by thinking about it. It's nothing, really -- her counselor had told her the afternoon before that an error had been made in the graduation program. They list all the scholarships the kids get, and the only two scholarships that anyone here would recognize (Kenyon and Emory) were left off Jane's listing. The reason I was so upset by this was that I really feel it's important to encourage kids to consider NOT choosing a school for its relative prestige but instead of consider fit more strongly. So many kids at Jane's school go to either Ohio State or the "best" (as in most highly ranked) school they get into. Jane's gotten a lot of incredulous questions from her friends about her choice of Colorado College over Emory. And I felt like here was a chance to show other kids that, look, it is actually possible to turn down Emory for Colorado College. And Kenyon same thing to a certain extent -- everyone here knows it as a really good school, where NO ONE has even HEARD of Colorado College. People keep asking Jane, "Isn't that a big party school?" No, that would be UC-Boulder you're thinking of. People PORE over those programs because there's nothing else to do while you sit there watching, and I know this unusual choice by a really bright kid would have sparked some family discussions. Oh, well. As John says, it's all rear-view-window stuff now. But it just left a bad taste in my mouth at the very end of our long relationship with Sycamore.

Hope your trip back was good and I hear from you tomorrow that you had a fantastic time!

SUNDAY: Hope the fact you didn't post last night when you got home means you were just exhausted from having too much fun rather than that you had a travel glitch and are sleeping in an airport somewhere! :)

4EverLearning
06-04-2012, 12:17 AM
LOL! Well, it's nice to find someone who appreciates you! Chemistry schmemistry. Chemistry fades. I believe in choosing someone you can be happy with, and that's more about the things you have in common and the way he interacts with you than whether he stirs your loins. :) It's nice to find both, of course.

I'd like a little loins-stirring, too, but I do agree that common ground and healthy interactions are much more important; those are the things that last.

When the kids first walked in, I was surprised to see nearly every one had a high honors cord. Then I realized, duh! Of course it's only the kids who are actually getting some sort of recognition who show up, and most of those are the same ones who pulled a 3.6 cumulative or better. There were a few students being recognized by the armed services for joining or going ROTC, but even the high-achieving artists and musicians tended to be wearing an honors cord of some sort.

I'm glad to hear that a high honors card actually means something at Jane's school!! I was on a committee recently that worked to change the standards for graduating with honors (cum laude, etc.) at KSU, since over 40% of graduates were getting at least a cum laude distinction, which is ridiculous!

Yow on getting up at 3am! Hope it went smoothly.

I only got two hours of sleep, but it was fine!

Report: weighed (updating for the week) and I'm down three pounds to 115.8, so once again safely under goal. Went to class Friday after having missed Wednesday because of a bad night's sleep and Monday because it was Memorial Day. (I actually got up and dressed and went to class Monday and only remembered it was Memorial Day when I found the studio closed!)

YAY for getting back under goal! And for exercising, too! The fact that you went on Memorial Day says that you're establishing a good habit and that you responded mindlessly--in a good way!

Missed last Friday too -- I'd gotten up, dressed, went to class, then couldn't go in because I was upset over something that had happened to Jane and I knew I was going to be distracted by thinking about it. It's nothing, really -- her counselor had told her the afternoon before that an error had been made in the graduation program. They list all the scholarships the kids get, and the only two scholarships that anyone here would recognize (Kenyon and Emory) were left off Jane's listing. The reason I was so upset by this was that I really feel it's important to encourage kids to consider NOT choosing a school for its relative prestige but instead of consider fit more strongly. So many kids at Jane's school go to either Ohio State or the "best" (as in most highly ranked) school they get into. Jane's gotten a lot of incredulous questions from her friends about her choice of Colorado College over Emory. And I felt like here was a chance to show other kids that, look, it is actually possible to turn down Emory for Colorado College. And Kenyon same thing to a certain extent -- everyone here knows it as a really good school, where NO ONE has even HEARD of Colorado College. People keep asking Jane, "Isn't that a big party school?" No, that would be UC-Boulder you're thinking of. People PORE over those programs because there's nothing else to do while you sit there watching, and I know this unusual choice by a really bright kid would have sparked some family discussions. Oh, well. As John says, it's all rear-view-window stuff now. But it just left a bad taste in my mouth at the very end of our long relationship with Sycamore.

I can certainly understand why you'd be upset about the omission, and you are probably right that it prompted some talk behind Jane's back. How did Jane react to it?

Hope your trip back was good and I hear from you tomorrow that you had a fantastic time!

SUNDAY: Hope the fact you didn't post last night when you got home means you were just exhausted from having too much fun rather than that you had a travel glitch and are sleeping in an airport somewhere! :)

A little of each--I ended up spending most of the night in the airport (but got not even a wink of sleep), so when I did finally get home, I collapsed into bed and slept for 13 hours straight. I just had no energy to post.

I did have a wonderful time, better than I expected, in fact. I was in Las Vegas for 4 days and the Grand Canyon for 3. In Vegas we were walking (albeit at a leisurely pace) for many hours each day, wandering from hotel to hotel. There are many streets that have pedestrian bridges above street-level, with a choice of either escalators or stairs at either end. My friends always chose the escalators, and I chose the stairs every time, running up and down them. I made very good food choices overall. I ate one indulgent meal in a French restaurant (glass of wine, coq au vin, and a Napoleon for dessert), but it was planned. I also got plenty of walking in at the Grand Canyon. Also, our room was on the second floor of a hotel that has no elevators, and I ended up carrying everyone's luggage up and down the stairs. Everyone was huffing and puffing and struggling to breathe in the high elevation, but I was able to do everything with minimal effect. That told me just how much better shape I am in. Bev in particular was in rough shape. She has been struggling with a bad case of bronchitis, and an x-ray of her lungs showed a shadow that has to be investigated further. Her doctor advised her not to make the trip, but she refused to miss it. Her breathing was actually very labored and scary to listen to. And the best news is that my friends are finally convinced that I am not anorexic. The fact that I ate at least one large dinner, a big Napoleon, plus an ice cream cone almost every day, helped. So did the fact that I did not report to you every night, that I did not weigh myself, and that my hair now looks much healthier than it did a year ago. They didn't compliment me about my looks or my efforts at all (except that I overheard one of them comment to the others about how skinny I am when they thought I was out of earshot), but at least they didn't give me a hard time, and they did tell me that they are no longer worried about me (when I asked them directly).

My weight was only up .6 this morning, for which I gave myself lots of credit, considering that I was away for 8 days. YAY ME! Had a completely NS day today but did not exercise. I plan to get back to the gym tomorrow and will also start reading my cards again daily, focus on the Beck tasks I had already repeated, and prepare to move ahead to the next tasks. See you tomorrow night!

va1erie
06-04-2012, 07:09 AM
I'm glad to hear that a high honors card actually means something at Jane's school!! I was on a committee recently that worked to change the standards for graduating with honors (cum laude, etc.) at KSU, since over 40% of graduates were getting at least a cum laude distinction, which is ridiculous! Yeah, I don't know how grade inflation has affected the number of kids getting honors cords. Sycamore stopped reporting class rank about ten years ago, but there were only about 40 kids (about 8%) who graduated summa cum laude. But I know that there were numerous kids who had GPAs the same and maybe even higher than Jane's who didn't get summa because they'd had at least one quarter below a 3.6. I guess it's one of the ways they motivate kids the third quarter of Senior year.

YAY for getting back under goal! And for exercising, too! The fact that you went on Memorial Day says that you're establishing a good habit and that you responded mindlessly--in a good way! That's what I'm figuring, too. And between the market and gardening and walking much more, I always get a ton of exercise over the summer, so that helps.



I can certainly understand why you'd be upset about the omission, and you are probably right that it prompted some talk behind Jane's back. How did Jane react to it? She was pretty upset at first. All of her other scholarships are from colleges no one here has ever heard of -- Allegheny, Centre, Dickinson (Hamilton doesn't give merit scholarships and Carleton only gives a NMS if you go there) and she wanted the recognition of her hard work. And of course I wanted that for her, too. It sometimes feels a little petty to want that, but I used to work in the motivation field and our research showed that recognition was a CLEAR winner over merchandise and cash for actually producing results. Ask people what they want as a reward for hard work and they'll tell you cash every time. And they aren't lying -- they THINK that's what motivates them. But cash motivation -- commission, in effect -- is fungible and builds cumulatively. Even the most cash-motvated salesperson might decide to leave off the cold calling at 4 and go to happy hour. But recognition is on a toggle switch. You either get it or you don't, and everyone knows you got it or didn't. No one sees your paycheck. A salesperson going for that plaque or trip to Hawaii or ugly gold jacket or pink Cadillac will keep making calls. If you want to motivate your high performers to push a little harder, offer recognition. At any rate, it doesn't seem to be bothering her any more, at least not enough to mention it. I'm sure it still smarts a little. But in a week she leaves for camp, and in 2 months she'll be packing for college.



I did have a wonderful time, better than I expected, in fact. I was in Las Vegas for 4 days and the Grand Canyon for 3. In Vegas we were walking (albeit at a leisurely pace) for many hours each day, wandering from hotel to hotel. There are many streets that have pedestrian bridges above street-level, with a choice of either escalators or stairs at either end. My friends always chose the escalators, and I chose the stairs every time, running up and down them. I made very good food choices overall. I ate one indulgent meal in a French restaurant (glass of wine, coq au vin, and a Napoleon for dessert), but it was planned. I also got plenty of walking in at the Grand Canyon. Also, our room was on the second floor of a hotel that has no elevators, Is that the hotel that's right on the rim of the canyon? We stayed there -- or at least, we actually stayed in the little cabins surrounding it. and I ended up carrying everyone's luggage up and down the stairs. Everyone was huffing and puffing and struggling to breathe in the high elevation, but I was able to do everything with minimal effect. Wonder if that was an eye-opener for anyone? That told me just how much better shape I am in. Bev in particular was in rough shape. She has been struggling with a bad case of bronchitis, and an x-ray of her lungs showed a shadow that has to be investigated further. Her doctor advised her not to make the trip, but she refused to miss it. Her breathing was actually very labored and scary to listen to. My mom ended up on oxygen when we visited the GC, and afterwards she never got completely off it. And the best news is that my friends are finally convinced that I am not anorexic. The fact that I ate at least one large dinner, a big Napoleon, plus an ice cream cone almost every day, helped. So did the fact that I did not report to you every night, that I did not weigh myself, and that my hair now looks much healthier than it did a year ago. Yay! I was hoping you'd reach the new normal on this trip! Did you all plan your next trip while you were together?

They didn't compliment me about my looks or my efforts at all (except that I overheard one of them comment to the others about how skinny I am when they thought I was out of earshot), Did it seem like a complimentary kind of comment? but at least they didn't give me a hard time, and they did tell me that they are no longer worried about me (when I asked them directly). Well, hallelujah! So no one mentioned the fact you were using the stairs instead of the elevators?

My weight was only up .6 this morning, for which I gave myself lots of credit, considering that I was away for 8 days. YAY ME! Had a completely NS day today but did not exercise. I plan to get back to the gym tomorrow and will also start reading my cards again daily, focus on the Beck tasks I had already repeated, and prepare to move ahead to the next tasks. See you tomorrow night! Bet Callie was happy to see you!

4EverLearning
06-05-2012, 12:43 AM
I worked for 45 minutes on a long reply and then somehow lost the whole thing right before submitting it. I'm too tired to try to reconstruct it now. Will be back tomorrow night.

4EverLearning
06-05-2012, 09:42 PM
Yeah, I don't know how grade inflation has affected the number of kids getting honors cords. Sycamore stopped reporting class rank about ten years ago, but there were only about 40 kids (about 8%) who graduated summa cum laude. But I know that there were numerous kids who had GPAs the same and maybe even higher than Jane's who didn't get summa because they'd had at least one quarter below a 3.6. I guess it's one of the ways they motivate kids the third quarter of Senior year.

I'm glad that graduating with distinction actually means something at Jane's school! Interesting approach to require consistently high performance as opposed to simply an overall high GPA, but I like it!

That's what I'm figuring, too. And between the market and gardening and walking much more, I always get a ton of exercise over the summer, so that helps.

Yeah, it's much easier to move in the summer. You really have to make an effort not to--which I was once very happy to do!!



She was pretty upset at first. All of her other scholarships are from colleges no one here has ever heard of -- Allegheny, Centre, Dickinson (Hamilton doesn't give merit scholarships and Carleton only gives a NMS if you go there) and she wanted the recognition of her hard work. And of course I wanted that for her, too. It sometimes feels a little petty to want that, but I used to work in the motivation field and our research showed that recognition was a CLEAR winner over merchandise and cash for actually producing results. Ask people what they want as a reward for hard work and they'll tell you cash every time. And they aren't lying -- they THINK that's what motivates them. But cash motivation -- commission, in effect -- is fungible and builds cumulatively. Even the most cash-motvated salesperson might decide to leave off the cold calling at 4 and go to happy hour. But recognition is on a toggle switch. You either get it or you don't, and everyone knows you got it or didn't. No one sees your paycheck. A salesperson going for that plaque or trip to Hawaii or ugly gold jacket or pink Cadillac will keep making calls. If you want to motivate your high performers to push a little harder, offer recognition. At any rate, it doesn't seem to be bothering her any more, at least not enough to mention it. I'm sure it still smarts a little. But in a week she leaves for camp, and in 2 months she'll be packing for college.

I don't think it's petty to want the recognition that she worked so hard for and totally deserves. And you are absolutely right that recognition is probably the most powerful reinforcer there is. Intrinsic motivation trumps extrinsic every time! What kind of camp is Jane going to?

Is that the hotel that's right on the rim of the canyon? We stayed there -- or at least, we actually stayed in the little cabins surrounding it. Wonder if that was an eye-opener for anyone?

I was mistaken earlier; we actually stayed on the south rim of the Canyon. None of the hotels had elevators. And my friends would have to have been blind in order not to notice how much easier of a time I was having dealing with the physical challenges.

My mom ended up on oxygen when we visited the GC, and afterwards she never got completely off it.

Oh, wow, something else we have in common. My mom developed congestive heart failure in the Canyon and had to be flown out in a military helicopter from Canada to a hospital in Utah, where she spent a month in a coma before taking an air ambulance home. She lived several more years afterward, but she was never the same again. That trip was definitely the beginning of the end. My brother also developed altitude sickness when he recently visited the Canyon and ended up in the hospital. Considering my family history, I was a little concerned about how I would fare, but I am thrilled to say that I had no problem whatsoever!

Yay! I was hoping you'd reach the new normal on this trip! Did you all plan your next trip while you were together?

We didn't make any definite plans, but tentatively talked about going to New Orleans for a few days and then leaving for a short cruise from there.

Did it seem like a complimentary kind of comment?

I didn't think so when I first heard it (which was before we talked about the anorexia issue, plus I figured that, if it was meant as a compliment, they'd say it to my face rather than talking behind my back). But after we talked, I think they have come to at least some level of equanimity about it. I just wish they could be genuinely happy for me and let me know that they are happy for me, but that would apparently be too much to ask for (although one of my friends did whisper to me that I look "totally hot" when she hugged me good-bye).

Well, hallelujah! So no one mentioned the fact you were using the stairs instead of the elevators?

No, other than to gently tease me occasionally because when I was on the stairs and they were on the escalator alongside me, I always ended up getting ahead of them and then having to wait for them to get off the escalator. :D

Bet Callie was happy to see you!

Yes, she has been one happy kitty since she came home!

report: My weight was down .2 yesterday. Didn't weigh today. I was so tired last night but couldn't sleep for anything and didn't fall asleep until 8AM (ACK), so I barely woke up in time to race to my 1PM training session and didn't remember to weigh. Wasn't my best training session, between barely being awake and not having had one for 10 days or so. Read my cards today. Plan to go to bed very early and hopefully catch up on my sleep and get back to some semblance of normality.

How are YOU doing? I noticed that you didn't report in your last post. What's going on?

va1erie
06-06-2012, 08:06 AM
I'm glad that graduating with distinction actually means something at Jane's school! Interesting approach to require consistently high performance as opposed to simply an overall high GPA, but I like it! I was actually feeling a little bad for kids who have the same GPA as Jane but don't get the Summa Cum Laude, but they do get the gold cord. And the dreaded Dipali was one of those kids, so that didn't break my heart. :D

I don't think it's petty to want the recognition that she worked so hard for and totally deserves. And you are absolutely right that recognition is probably the most powerful reinforcer there is. Intrinsic motivation trumps extrinsic every time! What kind of camp is Jane going to? She's going to be a counselor at the camp we've attended for family camp since she was 2 (and I attended, and my mom before me) and she's been attending as a regular camper since she was 7. The last two years she worked dish crew there, but this year she's 18 and can be a counselor. She's got mixed feelings about it since it's her last summer to spend with her friends here, but she's only committed for two weeks at the beginning of summer and two at the end, so she'll still be home a good portion of the summer.

I was mistaken earlier; we actually stayed on the south rim of the Canyon. None of the hotels had elevators. And my friends would have to have been blind in order not to notice how much easier of a time I was having dealing with the physical challenges. Oh, you were on the south rim -- did you walk out onto the glass floor thing?

Oh, wow, something else we have in common. My mom developed congestive heart failure in the Canyon and had to be flown out in a military helicopter from Canada to a hospital in Utah, where she spent a month in a coma before taking an air ambulance home. She lived several more years afterward, but she was never the same again. That trip was definitely the beginning of the end. My brother also developed altitude sickness when he recently visited the Canyon and ended up in the hospital. Considering my family history, I was a little concerned about how I would fare, but I am thrilled to say that I had no problem whatsoever! Yay for you! Good grief on your brother's altitude sickness! I wonder how common that is?


We didn't make any definite plans, but tentatively talked about going to New Orleans for a few days and then leaving for a short cruise from there. Nice! I've been wanting to go to New Orleans! I was there for a very short visit (like several hours) in my early twenties when I'd driven down to Texas to bring my sister home from a jobhunting trip and we swung through New Orleans just to say we'd seen it.



I didn't think so when I first heard it (which was before we talked about the anorexia issue, plus I figured that, if it was meant as a compliment, they'd say it to my face rather than talking behind my back). But after we talked, I think they have come to at least some level of equanimity about it. I just wish they could be genuinely happy for me and let me know that they are happy for me, but that would apparently be too much to ask for (although one of my friends did whisper to me that I look "totally hot" when she hugged me good-bye). One thought -- maybe after last year when the comments became overwhelming to you, maybe they're reluctant to say anything, even if to them it feels like a compliment?

report: My weight was down .2 yesterday. Didn't weigh today. I was so tired last night but couldn't sleep for anything and didn't fall asleep until 8AM (ACK), so I barely woke up in time to race to my 1PM training session and didn't remember to weigh. Wasn't my best training session, between barely being awake and not having had one for 10 days or so. Read my cards today. Plan to go to bed very early and hopefully catch up on my sleep and get back to some semblance of normality.

How are YOU doing? I noticed that you didn't report in your last post. What's going on? Sorry, must have just forgotten. Still holding steady at 2.2 under goal, went to class this morning and Monday morning. Two brutal workouts! I had a nice NSV last week when I had picked up several bags of mulch and compost, some of which weigh 40 pounds. Two years ago I would have had to call John to come move them for me -- I wouldn't have even been able to get them out of the trunk for fear that I'd throw my back out, and wouldn't have been able to get them to wherever I wanted them because they were just too heavy for me to carry. But I got them out of the car and to where I wanted them nearly with ease. My back and upper body strength are that much better. Haven't been to WW for over a month, though, because Tuesdays lately have either been overbooked or it's been a good morning to work in the yard. I keep meaning to go!

4EverLearning
06-07-2012, 03:01 AM
I was actually feeling a little bad for kids who have the same GPA as Jane but don't get the Summa Cum Laude, but they do get the gold cord. And the dreaded Dipali was one of those kids, so that didn't break my heart. :D

????? Who/what is (a) Dipali???:?:

She's going to be a counselor at the camp we've attended for family camp since she was 2 (and I attended, and my mom before me) and she's been attending as a regular camper since she was 7. The last two years she worked dish crew there, but this year she's 18 and can be a counselor. She's got mixed feelings about it since it's her last summer to spend with her friends here, but she's only committed for two weeks at the beginning of summer and two at the end, so she'll still be home a good portion of the summer.

What a neat family tradition!! How old will Jane's campers be? Does she enjoy working with kids?

Oh, you were on the south rim -- did you walk out onto the glass floor thing?

No, we didn't get there. It was like 200 miles away and ridiculously expensive by the time the entrance fees, parking fees, and shuttle fees were factored in. I wanted to do it, but no one else did.

Yay for you! Good grief on your brother's altitude sickness! I wonder how common that is?

I don't know, but the very possibility scared me, since I've always thought of my brother as being in FAR better shape than I could ever hope to achieve!


Nice! I've been wanting to go to New Orleans! I was there for a very short visit (like several hours) in my early twenties when I'd driven down to Texas to bring my sister home from a jobhunting trip and we swung through New Orleans just to say we'd seen it.

I've never seen New Orleans at all, or even been anywhere near it, and I've always wanted to visit there.



One thought -- maybe after last year when the comments became overwhelming to you, maybe they're reluctant to say anything, even if to them it feels like a compliment?

You could be right. It is a touchy subject with me, at least where they are concerned, and I'm sure they are aware of that.

Sorry, must have just forgotten. Still holding steady at 2.2 under goal, went to class this morning and Monday morning. Two brutal workouts! I had a nice NSV last week when I had picked up several bags of mulch and compost, some of which weigh 40 pounds. Two years ago I would have had to call John to come move them for me -- I wouldn't have even been able to get them out of the trunk for fear that I'd throw my back out, and wouldn't have been able to get them to wherever I wanted them because they were just too heavy for me to carry. But I got them out of the car and to where I wanted them nearly with ease. My back and upper body strength are that much better. Haven't been to WW for over a month, though, because Tuesdays lately have either been overbooked or it's been a good morning to work in the yard. I keep meaning to go!

All great news, especially the part about being able to carry the bags of mulch! I had a similar experience recently with a 50-pound bag of salt for my water softener. Isn't it amazing how much stronger we have become? (BTW, one of the things my friends did notice and comment on was the fact that I can now easily lift my arms over my head and can pull a t-shirt off without bending over at the waist and letting my arms hang down like I used to have to, which they were very impressed by!)

report: Bad day today, or at least a bad night, during which I had a major NS dessert-fest. It was precipitated by a combination of ambivalence about my latest eHarmony match, sadness over the changes in my relationship with my friends (even though things were definitely better than last year, I still feel that I am outgrowing them in many ways), and a growing desire for another major shift in my eating habits (wanting to get away from processed food, which means weaning myself off NS food, scary as **** since I have such an aversion to cooking and am such a picky eater). That led to the old bugaboo of thinking that I'd better eat all of the desserts now, because I'm going to give them up. Totally stupid. But I threw the rest of them in the garbage (trash pick-up is tomorrow). This evening I read two entire books in one sitting. One is called "Fit2Fat2Fit", which has been in the news a lot lately. It was written by a personal trainer who intentionally stopped exercising and started living on processed/fast food for six months (gaining 75 pounds in the process), then went back to his old healthy habits, in an effort to understand what his overweight clients go through. It was fascinating. The other was written by Bob Harper (from Biggest Loser) and laid out 20 rules for skinny eating. I don't think I can necessarily follow his menus (too many ingredients I don't like), but I think I can still follow the rules by adapting the menus to my own tastes. I still have a lot of NS food on hand but am going to start gradually reducing my reliance on it, and I am going to call tomorrow and cancel my auto-delivery (which I am still on after 3.5 years!!). And of course I will continue with the Beck tasks. Maybe I am making too much of this, but weaning myself from NS, particularly the cooking component, feels to me like as big of a lifestyle change as going on NS was originally. Giving up the diet soda was a big step in that direction, and I'm ready to take the next big step now. Now it will be about health rather than losing weight. That alone is a big shift in thinking.

Hope you had a great day!

va1erie
06-07-2012, 12:20 PM
????? Who/what is (a) Dipali???:?: Dipali is Jane's former friend who started dating Jane's ex after having called Jane a jealous crazy ***** because Jane couldn't understand why Dipali and Ritvik (the ex) would hang out together alone so much. :) We don't exactly hope for Dipali to be miserable, but when the -best- things don't happen for her, we also don't cry.

What a neat family tradition!! How old will Jane's campers be? Does she enjoy working with kids? She really loves kids. She babysits for my friend Sue's grandkids for free when Sue needs to run errands without the kids -- or tries to, though often Sue insists on paying her. She won't know what age group she'll have until she gets the next week's assignment each week, but she's hoping for 10-11 year olds. They're the most fun and the easiest. The younger kids get homesick and need to be taken to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The older kids want to sneak out of the cabent at night and go meet boys. :)



No, we didn't get there. It was like 200 miles away and ridiculously expensive by the time the entrance fees, parking fees, and shuttle fees were factored in. I wanted to do it, but no one else did. I've heard it's a very strange feeling to be out on the glass floor.

All great news, especially the part about being able to carry the bags of mulch! I had a similar experience recently with a 50-pound bag of salt for my water softener. Isn't it amazing how much stronger we have become? (BTW, one of the things my friends did notice and comment on was the fact that I can now easily lift my arms over my head and can pull a t-shirt off without bending over at the waist and letting my arms hang down like I used to have to, which they were very impressed by!) Wow, that difference in mobility/strength must be making a big difference in your life.

report: Bad day today, or at least a bad night, during which I had a major NS dessert-fest. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear it!

It was precipitated by a combination of ambivalence about my latest eHarmony match, sadness over the changes in my relationship with my friends (even though things were definitely better than last year, I still feel that I am outgrowing them in many ways), Both are probably going to be ongoing issues for you to deal with, it seems.

and a growing desire for another major shift in my eating habits (wanting to get away from processed food, which means weaning myself off NS food, scary as **** since I have such an aversion to cooking and am such a picky eater). On the positive side: because you have an extremely high tolerance for food routine, learning to cook for yourself is going to be a snap. You probably don't need to learn to make more than a couple of breakfasts, maybe five lunches, maybe ten dinners. And I definitely applaud you for wanting to get away from the processed food! Let me know how I can help. If you want to start making one new recipe a week and just put it into weekly rotation and build each week, by two months from now you could be eating mostly unprocessed foods.


That led to the old bugaboo of thinking that I'd better eat all of the desserts now, because I'm going to give them up. Been there.

Totally stupid. But I threw the rest of them in the garbage (trash pick-up is tomorrow). This evening I read two entire books in one sitting. One is called "Fit2Fat2Fit", which has been in the news a lot lately. It was written by a personal trainer who intentionally stopped exercising and started living on processed/fast food for six months (gaining 75 pounds in the process), then went back to his old healthy habits, in an effort to understand what his overweight clients go through. It was fascinating. The other was written by Bob Harper (from Biggest Loser) and laid out 20 rules for skinny eating. I don't think I can necessarily follow his menus (too many ingredients I don't like), but I think I can still follow the rules by adapting the menus to my own tastes. I still have a lot of NS food on hand but am going to start gradually reducing my reliance on it, and I am going to call tomorrow and cancel my auto-delivery (which I am still on after 3.5 years!!). And of course I will continue with the Beck tasks. Maybe I am making too much of this, but weaning myself from NS, particularly the cooking component, feels to me like as big of a lifestyle change as going on NS was originally. Giving up the diet soda was a big step in that direction, and I'm ready to take the next big step now. Now it will be about health rather than losing weight. That alone is a big shift in thinking. Yes, it is! Yay, you, for wanting to be HEALTHY as a primary goal!

Report: weighed (.8 under goal, so that's okay -- we went out for pizza last night with the extended family to celebrate Jane's graduation and that of her cousin Caroline, so I deserve to be up. No wine-induced snackfest when I got home, so that's a plus. Got up this morning before my alarm rang for class, got dressed, and was drinking my first cup of coffee when I realized, duh, it's THURSDAY. No class.

4EverLearning
06-07-2012, 11:35 PM
Dipali is Jane's former friend who started dating Jane's ex after having called Jane a jealous crazy ***** because Jane couldn't understand why Dipali and Ritvik (the ex) would hang out together alone so much. :) We don't exactly hope for Dipali to be miserable, but when the -best- things don't happen for her, we also don't cry. [/QUOTE[

LOL!!! Oh, so Dipali IS a who and not a what!!! Or not.........:D

[QUOTE=va1erie;4362627]She really loves kids. She babysits for my friend Sue's grandkids for free when Sue needs to run errands without the kids -- or tries to, though often Sue insists on paying her. She won't know what age group she'll have until she gets the next week's assignment each week, but she's hoping for 10-11 year olds. They're the most fun and the easiest. The younger kids get homesick and need to be taken to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The older kids want to sneak out of the cabent at night and go meet boys. :)

Yes, but Jane will know how to handle those kids who want to sneak out to meet boys, because she once was one one of them!! That's great that she likes kids so much. I actually think that having the capacity to enjoy children is a big component of a well-adjusted, healthy personality.



I've heard it's a very strange feeling to be out on the glass floor.

I'm sure it is! Part of the reason that my friends soured on the idea is that the tour guide on the bus tour we took told us that the glass walkway was built by Native Americans as a way to rake in big bucks from the tourists in lieu of building a casino, and that it's a total racket. He was very harsh in his judgment of it.

Wow, that difference in mobility/strength must be making a big difference in your life.

For sure! Sometimes I forget just how much, but I really need to keep reminding myself so that I remember exactly why I never want to go back there.



Both are probably going to be ongoing issues for you to deal with, it seems.

Unfortunately, I'm sure that is true. The counseling is helping me, though. Without that, I suspect I would have imploded already from the stress of dealing with the dating issues.

On the positive side: because you have an extremely high tolerance for food routine, learning to cook for yourself is going to be a snap. You probably don't need to learn to make more than a couple of breakfasts, maybe five lunches, maybe ten dinners. And I definitely applaud you for wanting to get away from the processed food! Let me know how I can help. If you want to start making one new recipe a week and just put it into weekly rotation and build each week, by two months from now you could be eating mostly unprocessed foods.

Yes, my tolerance--PREFERENCE, really--for limited variety and for very simple plain foods will definitely work in my favor here. In fact, I don't need anywhere near 10 or probably even 5 different options! I've been living on just two different NS lunches for all this time, and about 4 or 5 different dinners. And I would be happy to have just one or two breakfasts. Today I managed to follow Bob Harper's rules without cooking at all; I just bought a pre-cooked turkey and pre-cooked boiled shrimp at the grocery store, and was perfectly happy.


Been there.

I know. I would imagine that anyone who has ever struggled with weight can say the same.

Yes, it is! Yay, you, for wanting to be HEALTHY as a primary goal!

It feels like the logical and necessary next step in what has been a very long evolution in my thinking and behavior.

Report: weighed (.8 under goal, so that's okay -- we went out for pizza last night with the extended family to celebrate Jane's graduation and that of her cousin Caroline, so I deserve to be up. No wine-induced snackfest when I got home, so that's a plus. Got up this morning before my alarm rang for class, got dressed, and was drinking my first cup of coffee when I realized, duh, it's THURSDAY. No class.

YAY for no wine-induced snackfest! You seem to be doing better with that issue lately. LOL that you were dressed for class on the wrong day!!

I didn't weigh this morning and won't for a couple of days, simply because I want to concentrate on my behavior rather than the feedback the scale is giving me. Once again I could not sleep last night, didn't fall asleep until after 8AM, barely woke up in time for my personal training session, and am still exhausted. I still haven't adjusted to the 3-hour time change. But I had a really intense session. Am about to go to bed now and will be going to bed rather hungry (one of Bob Harper's skinny rules and one I haven't been doing well with lately; late night is the time I struggle most with my desire to overeat).

Have a great day tomorrow!

va1erie
06-08-2012, 03:23 PM
Yes, my tolerance--PREFERENCE, really--for limited variety and for very simple plain foods will definitely work in my favor here. In fact, I don't need anywhere near 10 or probably even 5 different options! I've been living on just two different NS lunches for all this time, and about 4 or 5 different dinners. And I would be happy to have just one or two breakfasts. Today I managed to follow Bob Harper's rules without cooking at all; I just bought a pre-cooked turkey and pre-cooked boiled shrimp at the grocery store, and was perfectly happy. There you go! And I gave you the instructions for both poached boneless skinless chicken breast and for fish baked in milk. So there are four proteins right there! And you've done sauteed zucchini, too, I think? Concentrate on deeply colored veggies -- sweet potatoes, carrots, dark leafy greens such as spinach and broccoli, red and green peppers -- and on whole grains. Brown rice is easy but not fast; I can give you instructions for that, too, if you like it. Quinoa is a mild-tasting, very easy to make, VERY nutritious whole grain. For salads, go for dark green lettuces instead of iceberg. Iceberg is pretty much just crunchy water.


I didn't weigh this morning and won't for a couple of days, simply because I want to concentrate on my behavior rather than the feedback the scale is giving me. Once again I could not sleep last night, didn't fall asleep until after 8AM, barely woke up in time for my personal training session, and am still exhausted. I still haven't adjusted to the 3-hour time change. But I had a really intense session. Am about to go to bed now and will be going to bed rather hungry (one of Bob Harper's skinny rules and one I haven't been doing well with lately; late night is the time I struggle most with my desire to overeat). I'll have to look for that book at the library!

Didn't weigh this morning, but I ate very reasonably yesterday even though we put the dog down. :( Running late to get to my "meeting" and tomorrow I have the market, family in from out of town and a grad party, so it's possible I won't be in here until Sunday, but I'll try to find a few minutes!

4EverLearning
06-09-2012, 12:21 AM
There you go! And I gave you the instructions for both poached boneless skinless chicken breast and for fish baked in milk. So there are four proteins right there! And you've done sauteed zucchini, too, I think? Concentrate on deeply colored veggies -- sweet potatoes, carrots, dark leafy greens such as spinach and broccoli, red and green peppers -- and on whole grains. Brown rice is easy but not fast; I can give you instructions for that, too, if you like it. Quinoa is a mild-tasting, very easy to make, VERY nutritious whole grain. For salads, go for dark green lettuces instead of iceberg. Iceberg is pretty much just crunchy water.

Yep, I have those recipes you gave me. I especially loved the fish one. Harper's book mentions quinoa. Can you describe the taste for me?


I'll have to look for that book at the library!

I think it just came out recently, so the library is probably featuring it. My trainer told me he saw Bob Harper on TV hawking that book.

Didn't weigh this morning, but I ate very reasonably yesterday even though we put the dog down. :( Running late to get to my "meeting" and tomorrow I have the market, family in from out of town and a grad party, so it's possible I won't be in here until Sunday, but I'll try to find a few minutes!

Oh, I'm so very sorry to hear about the dog. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a member of the family. Hope the graduation party is a wonderful celebration!

Didn't weigh this morning. Did a lot of heavy cleaning, which I turn into a game to move as much as possible (playing music, dancing around, etc.). I had a great counseling session with my therapist. Tomorrow I plan to walk to the gym for a workout. See you Sunday if not before!

va1erie
06-09-2012, 07:10 AM
Yep, I have those recipes you gave me. I especially loved the fish one. Harper's book mentions quinoa. Can you describe the taste for me? It's a very mild, very tiny grain. Looks more like a seed than a grain. Sort of the texture of plain rice, but chopped finer and a little wetter, if that makes sense, because it's so small and it's a whole grain so still has its hull, which soaks up water. A mild taste, a little nutty in the way whole wheat and brown rice tastes nutty but milder, closer to pasta or bread. Most people who like rice, pasta, bread, potatoes would like the taste and find the texture unchallenging.




I think it just came out recently, so the library is probably featuring it. My trainer told me he saw Bob Harper on TV hawking that book. I put it on hold!



Oh, I'm so very sorry to hear about the dog. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a member of the family. Hope the graduation party is a wonderful celebration! Yes, it was a drag. He'd become more and more incontinent over the past year, and in the past three weeks would simply pee in his bed and then lie in it, poor guy. It was time. He would have been 16 in August, and as a lab/golden cross that meant he'd broken most records. Goldens typically live 12-13 years and labs 12-14. He was a service dog, trained by Canine Companions for Independence up in Delaware, which we got when we didn't know what Michael's capabilities would turn out to be. But he ended up simply a well-trained pet. When I called CC to let them know, they were astounded he was still alive.

Didn't weigh this morning. Did a lot of heavy cleaning, which I turn into a game to move as much as possible (playing music, dancing around, etc.). I had a great counseling session with my therapist. Tomorrow I plan to walk to the gym for a workout. See you Sunday if not before! Was up early this morning (forgot again to weigh!) so I managed to get in here. Busy day -- I'll be heading for the market to help set up in about 45 minutes, then home to finish getting ready for my cousin's visit and the party. My cousin, who loves me and wouldn't care if my house looked like a crime scene, is one of the most meticulous housekeepers I've ever met. So even though I know I'm her favorite relative I always feel like I've not quite managed to get the house and yard where I'd like before I have her here! :)

4EverLearning
06-10-2012, 12:25 AM
It's a very mild, very tiny grain. Looks more like a seed than a grain. Sort of the texture of plain rice, but chopped finer and a little wetter, if that makes sense, because it's so small and it's a whole grain so still has its hull, which soaks up water. A mild taste, a little nutty in the way whole wheat and brown rice tastes nutty but milder, closer to pasta or bread. Most people who like rice, pasta, bread, potatoes would like the taste and find the texture unchallenging.

Bob Harper's book recommends quinoa over brown rice, or maybe that was Fit2Fat2Fit?? Anyway, I hate nuts in any shape or form, so maybe I wouldn't like quinoa. But I'd be willing to give it a try.




I put it on hold!

YAY!



Yes, it was a drag. He'd become more and more incontinent over the past year, and in the past three weeks would simply pee in his bed and then lie in it, poor guy. It was time. He would have been 16 in August, and as a lab/golden cross that meant he'd broken most records. Goldens typically live 12-13 years and labs 12-14. He was a service dog, trained by Canine Companions for Independence up in Delaware, which we got when we didn't know what Michael's capabilities would turn out to be. But he ended up simply a well-trained pet. When I called CC to let them know, they were astounded he was still alive.

Wow, he was part of your family for a very long time. It sounds like his was a life well-lived, though, and he was obviously loved. I'm so sorry for the loss.

Was up early this morning (forgot again to weigh!) so I managed to get in here. Busy day -- I'll be heading for the market to help set up in about 45 minutes, then home to finish getting ready for my cousin's visit and the party. My cousin, who loves me and wouldn't care if my house looked like a crime scene, is one of the most meticulous housekeepers I've ever met. So even though I know I'm her favorite relative I always feel like I've not quite managed to get the house and yard where I'd like before I have her here! :)

But like you said yourself, she'll love you anyway!! She's coming to visit you all and celebrate Jane's graduation, not judge your housekeeping and gardening skills!

I still haven't weighed myself (intentionally). It was 92 degrees today, so I walked in the mall rather than walking to the gym, AND I also worked out for two hours straight at the gym. Read my cards. Followed my eating plan. Tolerated a lot of hunger (am starving right now and hope I can sleep!).

Hope you are having a wonderful, celebratory weekend!! Savor every moment!

va1erie
06-10-2012, 11:56 AM
Bob Harper's book recommends quinoa over brown rice, or maybe that was Fit2Fat2Fit?? Anyway, I hate nuts in any shape or form, so maybe I wouldn't like quinoa. But I'd be willing to give it a try. Do you like brown rice or whole wheat bread? That's the level of "nuttiness" I'm talking about. It doesn't taste like any nut, but the flavors have something in common.






Wow, he was part of your family for a very long time. It sounds like his was a life well-lived, though, and he was obviously loved. I'm so sorry for the loss. Thanks! He was a good dog.




I still haven't weighed myself (intentionally). It was 92 degrees today, so I walked in the mall rather than walking to the gym, AND I also worked out for two hours straight at the gym. Read my cards. Followed my eating plan. Tolerated a lot of hunger (am starving right now and hope I can sleep!).

Hope you are having a wonderful, celebratory weekend!! Savor every moment![/QUOTE] Had a great weekend with my cousin! Didn't overeat at the party or dinner or breakfast this morning. I'm taking Jane up to camp tomorrow morning and will stay with Gwen (my cuz) tomorrow night. Didn't weigh today, must remember to tomorrow when I get up for class before leaving for camp.

4EverLearning
06-11-2012, 01:04 AM
Do you like brown rice or whole wheat bread? That's the level of "nuttiness" I'm talking about. It doesn't taste like any nut, but the flavors have something in common.

Yeah, I like brown rice and whole wheat bread just fine. I wouldn't describe those as nutty!

Had a great weekend with my cousin! Didn't overeat at the party or dinner or breakfast this morning. I'm taking Jane up to camp tomorrow morning and will stay with Gwen (my cuz) tomorrow night. Didn't weigh today, must remember to tomorrow when I get up for class before leaving for camp.

Glad you had such a good weekend! Have a safe trip, and check in if you can..

Had a good day today. Went to the gym for an hour and a half and am very sore! Made plans for another date with my latest eHarmony match. We're going to take a hike on Wed.

va1erie
06-11-2012, 06:41 AM
Yeah, I like brown rice and whole wheat bread just fine. I wouldn't describe those as nutty! If that's not the "nutty" you dislike, you'll probably like quinoa fine!


Glad you had such a good weekend! Have a safe trip, and check in if you can.. I'm taking my laptop with me, but I'm spending the night at Gwen and Russ's so not sure what my free time will be. I know they want to go out to some place called Vintage Estates. They're party animals. :)

Had a good day today. Went to the gym for an hour and a half and am very sore! Made plans for another date with my latest eHarmony match. We're going to take a hike on Wed. Hope you have nice weather!

Report: weighed (1.8 under goal, yay!), didn't get to class this morning before we left as I'd planned. Helping Jane finish her packing, and then we'll be on the road!

Have a great day!

4EverLearning
06-12-2012, 11:33 PM
If that's not the "nutty" you dislike, you'll probably like quinoa fine!

It's worth a try!


I'm taking my laptop with me, but I'm spending the night at Gwen and Russ's so not sure what my free time will be. I know they want to go out to some place called Vintage Estates. They're party animals. :)

Looks like you didn't get on here today, so you must have had lots of fun last night! I didn't make it on here last night, so I guess we're even, although I'm sure you were having more fun than I was. I have an ear infection that is driving me absolutely crazy. I went to the doctor today for some medication, and he said it's a fungus that I probably picked up in the gym. Ugh. I fell asleep on the couch last night and ended up staying there all night. I woke up this morning with the TV and lights still on, and still dressed.



Report: weighed (1.8 under goal, yay!), didn't get to class this morning before we left as I'd planned. Helping Jane finish her packing, and then we'll be on the road!

Yay for being under goal!! Hope you had a good trip.

I went to my personal training session (at which I sweat more than I ever have in my life, I suspect) today even though I felt so lousy. Ate about 1350 calories. Read my cards. I'm off to bed now.

I canceled my date for tomorrow because I am definitely not feeling up to it at this point.

Can't wait to hear about your trip!

va1erie
06-13-2012, 07:26 AM
Looks like you didn't get on here today, so you must have had lots of fun last night! I didn't make it on here last night, so I guess we're even, although I'm sure you were having more fun than I was. I have an ear infection that is driving me absolutely crazy. I went to the doctor today for some medication, and he said it's a fungus that I probably picked up in the gym. Ugh. I fell asleep on the couch last night and ended up staying there all night. I woke up this morning with the TV and lights still on, and still dressed. Yeah, yesterday was a long day -- spent the night at my cousin's after going out with her and her husband and other friends from camp, drove home, then drove a friend to get our monthly peel from the lady who sells us our facial care products, got home late and went straight to bed. BUT I got a good night's sleep the last two nights, so yay for that.

Bummer on the ear infection! Ugh is right! Hope you can get it under control soon. Gyms are a little scary! You just know there's all sorts of trace bodily fluids being left pretty much everywhere. :)







I went to my personal training session (at which I sweat more than I ever have in my life, I suspect) today even though I felt so lousy. Ate about 1350 calories. Read my cards. I'm off to bed now.

I canceled my date for tomorrow because I am definitely not feeling up to it at this point. Because of the ear infection?

Can't wait to hear about your trip! Had a very nice trip, though Jane slept the ENTIRE way up, which was a bummer. We left early and she'd come in late from a last evening out with friends. I hope she has a good two weeks.

Report: didn't weigh this morning. Grr. Oh, well. Ate reasonably the last two days, though I did drink several beers at Vintage Estate and my cousin and I had a small beer-induced snackfest after. But I feel okay about it.

Hope you're feeling better today!

4EverLearning
06-14-2012, 12:14 AM
Yeah, yesterday was a long day -- spent the night at my cousin's after going out with her and her husband and other friends from camp, drove home, then drove a friend to get our monthly peel from the lady who sells us our facial care products, got home late and went straight to bed. BUT I got a good night's sleep the last two nights, so yay for that.

Wow, that does sound like a very long day! I'm so impressed that you get a facial peel every MONTH!!! (I've never had one in my life!) YAY for two nights of good sleep--something to celebrate for sure!

Bummer on the ear infection! Ugh is right! Hope you can get it under control soon. Gyms are a little scary! You just know there's all sorts of trace bodily fluids being left pretty much everywhere. :)

Yeah, I try not to think too much about all of the microorganisms at the gym. I did make sure to carefully clean every surface after I touched it so as not to pass along the joy. I feel a little better today but still in a lot of pain.







Because of the ear infection?

Exacty.

Had a very nice trip, though Jane slept the ENTIRE way up, which was a bummer. We left early and she'd come in late from a last evening out with friends. I hope she has a good two weeks.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to sleep the way teenagers do?

Report: didn't weigh this morning. Grr. Oh, well. Ate reasonably the last two days, though I did drink several beers at Vintage Estate and my cousin and I had a small beer-induced snackfest after. But I feel okay about it.

YAY for reasonable eating!

I didn't do a lot today other than make a lot of phone calls to schedule a bunch of appointments. Ate about 1450 calories, got no exercise, read my cards. I need to get going on Beck tasks again.

Hope you got another good night's sleep!

THURSDAY: Had a really intense training session. Went to see the play Mamma Mia with four colleagues at the campus PAC--awesome!! We went out to dinner first, and I had a lunch portion of fettucine with chicken and broccoli with the sauce on the side. A very busy and productive day.

va1erie
06-15-2012, 04:10 AM
Wow, that does sound like a very long day! I'm so impressed that you get a facial peel every MONTH!!! (I've never had one in my life!) I get it because I buy her products -- the company she works for uses it as a way to make sure customers see anything new and get a chance to order replacements instead of defecting to something easier to get. :)



Yeah, I try not to think too much about all of the microorganisms at the gym. I did make sure to carefully clean every surface after I touched it so as not to pass along the joy. I feel a little better today but still in a lot of pain. Man, that's a bummer. I think I've had an ear infection -once- and it was not pleasant.










THURSDAY: Had a really intense training session. Went to see the play Mamma Mia with four colleagues at the campus PAC--awesome!! We went out to dinner first, and I had a lunch portion of fettucine with chicken and broccoli with the sauce on the side. A very busy and productive day. Whoops, sorry! I didn't even realize I hadn't gotten in here. The days all sort of run together during the summer for me. I don't know what I'm going to do to keep track of the when both kids are gone this fall, or when John retires! I'll just have one long blur of days and will never know what day it is.

Weighed -- up, to .4 below goal, so must get on that again. Haven't eaten badly but I've had three nights this week that I was out somewhere having a glass of wine, so that's likely it. Am probably not going to my class as I've been up since 1 and am hoping to get back to sleep. Gah. Oh, well. I had three good nights this week!

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
06-15-2012, 09:52 PM
I get it because I buy her products -- the company she works for uses it as a way to make sure customers see anything new and get a chance to order replacements instead of defecting to something easier to get. :)

They clearly know how to market their products and hook their customers!



Man, that's a bummer. I think I've had an ear infection -once- and it was not pleasant.

I haven't had one since I was a kid, and this was an experience I hope to repeat!








Whoops, sorry! I didn't even realize I hadn't gotten in here. The days all sort of run together during the summer for me. I don't know what I'm going to do to keep track of the when both kids are gone this fall, or when John retires! I'll just have one long blur of days and will never know what day it is.

i get that. I totally lose track of my days during semester breaks. Last night I tried to post, but got a message saying the administrator had blocked my IP address. I have no idea why. I wrote to the administrator but got no response. I didn't discover it until I tried to submit my post, so i hope the same thing doesn't happen again.

Weighed -- up, to .4 below goal, so must get on that again. Haven't eaten badly but I've had three nights this week that I was out somewhere having a glass of wine, so that's likely it. Am probably not going to my class as I've been up since 1 and am hoping to get back to sleep. Gah. Oh, well. I had three good nights this week!

Our sleep patterns surely don't mesh--I often don't go to bed until after you're up for the day! I hope you were able to go back to sleep. I'm glad you're still below goal despite all of the eating challenges you have faced lately.

Last night I went out to dinner with three female colleagues. I had my first-ever martini (we were at a restaurant that has a long, long menu of flavored martinis, and the one I had was pink and fruity and a totally girly drink--delicious!). For dinner I ordered a lunch portion (which turned out to be the tiniest portion I've ever been served--I was still hungry when I finished!) of fettucine with chicken and broccoli with the sauce on the side. Then we went to see the play Mamma Mia at the campus PAC. It was awesome, and I had such a good time. Today I went to a strawberry festival with some friends (this is an annual ritual) and had strawberry shortcake (planned for and compensated for by eating very low calorie the rest of the day).

My date (with John, my latest eHarmony match, who is also a colleague) has been rescheduled for a week from Sunday. It was the only day I have available before I will leave town again, and I have to go to church in the morning, so I invited John to come to church before we go out to lunch and then for a walk at a local state park. The catch is that I will be singing that Sunday as part of a duet, which makes me nervous under the best of conditions, and being watched by a music professor, of all things, is definitely not the best of conditions!! What was I THINKING???! I'm excited about the day, though.

OK, let's see if this is going to submit!

va1erie
06-16-2012, 04:28 AM
Last night I went out to dinner with three female colleagues. I had my first-ever martini (we were at a restaurant that has a long, long menu of flavored martinis, and the one I had was pink and fruity and a totally girly drink--delicious!). For dinner I ordered a lunch portion (which turned out to be the tiniest portion I've ever been served--I was still hungry when I finished!) of fettucine with chicken and broccoli with the sauce on the side. Then we went to see the play Mamma Mia at the campus PAC. It was awesome, and I had such a good time. Today I went to a strawberry festival with some friends (this is an annual ritual) and had strawberry shortcake (planned for and compensated for by eating very low calorie the rest of the day). Sounds like you've been having fun! I drink martinis occasionally, but almost never the flavored ones. I'm not much for sweet drinks. Wow, this must have been a hard year for strawberry festivals! The strawberries showed up early and the early crop has already come close to ending here!

My date (with John, my latest eHarmony match, who is also a colleague) has been rescheduled for a week from Sunday. It was the only day I have available before I will leave town again, and I have to go to church in the morning, so I invited John to come to church before we go out to lunch and then for a walk at a local state park. The catch is that I will be singing that Sunday as part of a duet, which makes me nervous under the best of conditions, and being watched by a music professor, of all things, is definitely not the best of conditions!! What was I THINKING???! I'm excited about the day, though. Oh, he's a music professor! Very cool.

OK, let's see if this is going to submit! Looks like luck was with you!

Report: didn't weigh, off to Youngstown again today after the market. My friend Cindy is taking her son to camp and they're staying overnight with my cousin, and I offered to come along to see Gwen again and give Cindy company on the drive home. I'm not taking my laptop so may or may not post tomorrow, depending on when we get home.

Hope you had a great day!

4EverLearning
06-16-2012, 10:05 PM
Sounds like you've been having fun! I drink martinis occasionally, but almost never the flavored ones. I'm not much for sweet drinks. Wow, this must have been a hard year for strawberry festivals! The strawberries showed up early and the early crop has already come close to ending here!

Yeah, the strawberry crops have been horrible here. There were some booths selling local strawberries at the festival, and the berries were the tiniest I have ever seen.

And yes, I've been having some fun, but mostly I have been crazy busy with my condo. I've spring-cleaned every surface in the place (and found cat hair in some very odd places in the process--like inside the freezer!!); washed all of the quilts, throw rugs, and curtains; handwashed the siding outside; cleaned the garage; had the bedroom carpets cleaned; had plumbing and electrical work taken care of; ordered a storm door; shopped for wallpaper. And today I had the kitchen and laundry room flooring replaced. It was an icky, outdated, torn white vinyl, and I had it replaced with a floor that is also vinyl but looks incredibly like hardwood--it has lots of texture, making it look rough and primitive. I wasn't sure of my choice, but now that it's installed, I'm over the moon. It looks amazing and totally transforms the rooms. On Monday, the living room carpet will be replaced. On Wednesday, a new CHERRY RED high efficiency washer and dryer will be delivered. I will positively swoon to have those red appliances I have lusted over forever. I still have a few more projects to get done before the summer is out. I had been saving money all year to do all of this work but have been going through it at a rapid pace. Everything is more expensive than I predicted.


Oh, he's a music professor! Very cool.

I thought I had told you that, but maybe not! Yeah, and he composes music, too. He promised he wouldn't critique me too harshly or treat me like a student!



Report: didn't weigh, off to Youngstown again today after the market. My friend Cindy is taking her son to camp and they're staying overnight with my cousin, and I offered to come along to see Gwen again and give Cindy company on the drive home. I'm not taking my laptop so may or may not post tomorrow, depending on when we get home.

That's very nice of you to do that for Cindy! Have a safe trip, and check in when you get back!

I ate about 1450 calories today. Got plenty of "exercise" moving furniture and washing the siding. Tomorrow I will go to the gym after church, then come home and start shifting furniture around again in preparation for the carpet installers. I hate the upheaval and mess, but the result is going to be worth it!

va1erie
06-18-2012, 07:23 AM
Yeah, the strawberry crops have been horrible here. There were some booths selling local strawberries at the festival, and the berries were the tiniest I have ever seen. They're good, though! I had some for breakfast yesterday at Gwen's -- not large, but deep red and very sweet.

And yes, I've been having some fun, but mostly I have been crazy busy with my condo. I've spring-cleaned every surface in the place (and found cat hair in some very odd places in the process--like inside the freezer!!); washed all of the quilts, throw rugs, and curtains; handwashed the siding outside; cleaned the garage; had the bedroom carpets cleaned; had plumbing and electrical work taken care of; ordered a storm door; shopped for wallpaper. And today I had the kitchen and laundry room flooring replaced. It was an icky, outdated, torn white vinyl, and I had it replaced with a floor that is also vinyl but looks incredibly like hardwood--it has lots of texture, making it look rough and primitive. I wasn't sure of my choice, but now that it's installed, I'm over the moon. It looks amazing and totally transforms the rooms. On Monday, the living room carpet will be replaced. On Wednesday, a new CHERRY RED high efficiency washer and dryer will be delivered. I will positively swoon to have those red appliances I have lusted over forever. I still have a few more projects to get done before the summer is out. I had been saving money all year to do all of this work but have been going through it at a rapid pace. Everything is more expensive than I predicted. Wow! Your condo must be looking great!




I thought I had told you that, but maybe not! Yeah, and he composes music, too. He promised he wouldn't critique me too harshly or treat me like a student! LOL! He sounds nice.







I ate about 1450 calories today. Got plenty of "exercise" moving furniture and washing the siding. Tomorrow I will go to the gym after church, then come home and start shifting furniture around again in preparation for the carpet installers. I hate the upheaval and mess, but the result is going to be worth it! And whenever I totally empty a room I end up with a less cluttered space, which I love.

Report: weighed (2 under goal, yay, even though we went out to a new Italian place with my cousin and ate lunch yesterday at the little drive-in we always stop at in Conneaut on the way into camp. Saw Jane for a few minutes, but she was pretty busy getting ready for her first cabent full of Aztecs (10-11 year old girls) to arrive. She got her favorite cabent (it's shaded except for the middle of the day and has a view of Lake Erie out the back) and seemed very happy. John and I are going back up Friday to stay overnight again with Gwen and pick Jane up Saturday to bring her home for a month.

Hope your day was great!

4EverLearning
06-19-2012, 11:01 PM
They're good, though! I had some for breakfast yesterday at Gwen's -- not large, but deep red and very sweet.

I had some little strawberries today, and they were surprisingly good--like you said, really red and sweet.

Wow! Your condo must be looking great!

Sorry to go MIA. I couldn't even FIND my laptop for the last couple of days; it was piled in a mountain of stuff on the guest bed. I have now had the flooring redone in my kitchen, laundry room, and entry (all vinyl that looks like oak planks); and in my living room/dining room (carpet that hopefully will hide the kitty barf a little better). So I had four rooms full of stuff piled in the bedrooms. What a mess. It took me hours to get everything cleaned up and put back in place, but everything looks great now! Tomorrow I get my new red washer and dryer, which I am very excited about. On Friday morning, the storm door will be installed. Phew!

I like the oak-look flooring SO much that now I am thinking about getting it in my bathrooms, too. Then I am going to have the walls in one bathroom re-papered, get someone to paint my front door (once I have a storm door to protect it), and I think that will be it as far as home improvement goes!




LOL! He sounds nice.

He is that. He's a true, gracious gentleman. In fact, he's exactly the kind of guy my mother would have picked out for me. I haven't decided yet if that's a good thing or not!! ;)







And whenever I totally empty a room I end up with a less cluttered space, which I love.

I have gotten rid of a TON of stuff over the last few months, and I am really liking the less cluttered look more and more as time goes on. I used to NEED to be in small, cluttered, closed-in rooms that had layers of decorative stuff to create the feeling of a safe "nest". But I have really come to appreciate spaciousness and openness--symbolizes my changed personality, I guess.

Report: weighed (2 under goal, yay, even though we went out to a new Italian place with my cousin and ate lunch yesterday at the little drive-in we always stop at in Conneaut on the way into camp. Saw Jane for a few minutes, but she was pretty busy getting ready for her first cabent full of Aztecs (10-11 year old girls) to arrive. She got her favorite cabent (it's shaded except for the middle of the day and has a view of Lake Erie out the back) and seemed very happy. John and I are going back up Friday to stay overnight again with Gwen and pick Jane up Saturday to bring her home for a month.

YAY for being two pounds under goal! And I'm glad Jane is doing well! I can't believe that you will only have a month with her before she goes off to college. This summer is going way too quickly.

I still haven't weighed myself but don't think I have changed one way or the other. I had a super-intense personal training session today. At the end of it, my hair was soaking wet and I could have wrung out my shirt. I am not used to sweating like that!

Hope you had a great day today!

va1erie
06-20-2012, 10:42 AM
I had some little strawberries today, and they were surprisingly good Sometimes the smallest ones are the sweetest, it seems like!

Sorry to go MIA. I couldn't even FIND my laptop for the last couple of days; it was piled in a mountain of stuff on the guest bed. I have now had the flooring redone in my kitchen, laundry room, and entry (all vinyl that looks like oak planks); and in my living room/dining room (carpet that hopefully will hide the kitty barf a little better). So I had four rooms full of stuff piled in the bedrooms. What a mess. It took me hours to get everything cleaned up and put back in place, but everything looks great now! Tomorrow I get my new red washer and dryer, which I am very excited about. On Friday morning, the storm door will be installed. Phew! No problem! I was actually unintentionally MIA myself. I don't have an excuse, either! Just crazy busy as usual here! I'm glad your new floors look great!

I like the oak-look flooring SO much that now I am thinking about getting it in my bathrooms, too. Then I am going to have the walls in one bathroom re-papered, get someone to paint my front door (once I have a storm door to protect it), and I think that will be it as far as home improvement goes! Is that all? LOL! I have so many projects I need to complete. I'm thinking of maybe considering possibly downsizing in the next year or three and going back into the city now that the kids are out of school. I just look around at all the decluttering and minor repairs I need to do...ai yi yi...






He is that. He's a true, gracious gentleman. In fact, he's exactly the kind of guy my mother would have picked out for me. I haven't decided yet if that's a good thing or not!! ;) With most moms, I'd say it was a good thing. :)









I have gotten rid of a TON of stuff over the last few months, and I am really liking the less cluttered look more and more as time goes on. I used to NEED to be in small, cluttered, closed-in rooms that had layers of decorative stuff to create the feeling of a safe "nest". But I have really come to appreciate spaciousness and openness--symbolizes my changed personality, I guess. I love an uncluttered look, too, but my natural tendency to acquire too much conflicts with that! I think I'm going to start decluttering one room at a time, plus doing paint touchups and some minor decorating -- hanging a few pictures, putting up draperies in my dining room which has nothing but wooden blinds on the window, stuff like that -- as a precursor to getting the house ready for viewing. I also need to replace some windows, one panel of three especially very badly.


YAY for being two pounds under goal! And I'm glad Jane is doing well! I can't believe that you will only have a month with her before she goes off to college. This summer is going way too quickly. Don't remind me! She's going to leave a big gaping hole in my life, that's for sure. And in her cat's life. Rosie's been wandering the house crying for no apparent reason for the past week, and I suspect it's because she misses Jane.

Report: didn't weigh, didn't go to class because I had a gazillion early-morning errands to run. Gr. Hoping to go Friday before we take off for the weekend AGAIN.

Hope you had a great day today!

4EverLearning
06-20-2012, 11:16 PM
No problem! I was actually unintentionally MIA myself. I don't have an excuse, either! Just crazy busy as usual here! I'm glad your new floors look great!

Somehow summer ends up being the busiest time of the year, even though in theory it is supposed to be the slowest.

Is that all? LOL! I have so many projects I need to complete. I'm thinking of maybe considering possibly downsizing in the next year or three and going back into the city now that the kids are out of school. I just look around at all the decluttering and minor repairs I need to do...ai yi yi...

"The city"? What city would that be? Yeah, I've gone a bit overboard with the projects lately. It's just that I never have time to do this kind of stuff during the school year, so the summer ends up packed.






With most moms, I'd say it was a good thing. :)

Yeah, but this is MY mom we're talking about!!









I love an uncluttered look, too, but my natural tendency to acquire too much conflicts with that! I think I'm going to start decluttering one room at a time, plus doing paint touchups and some minor decorating -- hanging a few pictures, putting up draperies in my dining room which has nothing but wooden blinds on the window, stuff like that -- as a precursor to getting the house ready for viewing. I also need to replace some windows, one panel of three especially very badly.

I also have a window (big picture window in my living room) that really should be replaced (I accidentally broke the pins holding it in place), but I think I'm going to put that one on the back burner for now. Maybe next summer. How big is your house? How would your kids feel about downsizing?


Don't remind me! She's going to leave a big gaping hole in my life, that's for sure. And in her cat's life. Rosie's been wandering the house crying for no apparent reason for the past week, and I suspect it's because she misses Jane.

Aw, poor Rosie. I'm sure she does feel Jane's absence keenly. Maybe she is missing your dog, too?

Report: didn't weigh, didn't go to class because I had a gazillion early-morning errands to run. Gr. Hoping to go Friday before we take off for the weekend AGAIN.

When are you leaving? It seems like you just got home!!

I finally weighed myself this morning and was down 1.2 from last time I weighed, but still a few pounds heavier than I want to be. I can feel that some of my clothes are a little snug. I'm still trying to find my way to healthy eating with minimal cooking and limited NS food.

Hope your day wasn't quite so busy today!

va1erie
06-21-2012, 09:36 AM
Somehow summer ends up being the busiest time of the year, even though in theory it is supposed to be the slowest. Ain't it the truth!



"The city"? What city would that be? Yeah, I've gone a bit overboard with the projects lately. It's just that I never have time to do this kind of stuff during the school year, so the summer ends up packed. Into Cincinnati. We're in the northeast suburbs, and while our area is unusually walkable -- we can walk to restaurants, bars, parks, the post office, library, produce market -- we used to live in a neighborhood, Clifton, where I did most of my errands on foot. The library and post office here are 3/4 mile if I cut through the back yards, but there it was six blocks with sidewalks all the way, and the grocery was 8 blocks, and there were dozens of restaurants and bars and a coffeeshop and a bakery and an Indian grocers and little boutiques in the neighborhood. We moved out here because of the schools.










I also have a window (big picture window in my living room) that really should be replaced (I accidentally broke the pins holding it in place), but I think I'm going to put that one on the back burner for now. Maybe next summer. How big is your house? How would your kids feel about downsizing? Our house is probably 3000sf, plus a screened porch, a patio, a deck, and a partially finished basement, all on a little under 3/4 acre. It's a ranch so theoretically we can stay here 'til we die. :) But the idea of moving back to the city is intriguing. We mentioned it to Michael last night, and (surprise) he didn't express any concerns. That doesn't mean he isn't stewing it over, though. It'll be interesting to see what Jane will think, though. She's likely to have a more immediate reaction, and I doubt it will be positive. :)




Aw, poor Rosie. I'm sure she does feel Jane's absence keenly. Maybe she is missing your dog, too? It's possible, though for the past two years he's mostly just laid on his bed and slept most of the day, only getting up to eat or because he has to go out. Which more and more often, he'd get up too late. When it finally got to the point he was consistently soiling his bed and then just lying in it, we knew it was time.



When are you leaving? It seems like you just got home!! I know! Friday around noon we go up to Gwen's, then Saturday we pick up Jane and come back.

I finally weighed myself this morning and was down 1.2 from last time I weighed, but still a few pounds heavier than I want to be. I can feel that some of my clothes are a little snug. I'm still trying to find my way to healthy eating with minimal cooking and limited NS food. Yay on finding you were down after not weighing for a while! Why with minimal cooking? Just because you don't yet have all the skills, or because of the remodelling chaos, or have you decided you aren't really keen on learning to cook more?

Report: weighed (no change, yay!) and am headed out now to dig a bed, so I'll get some fair exercise.

4EverLearning
06-21-2012, 11:14 PM
Into Cincinnati. We're in the northeast suburbs, and while our area is unusually walkable -- we can walk to restaurants, bars, parks, the post office, library, produce market -- we used to live in a neighborhood, Clifton, where I did most of my errands on foot. The library and post office here are 3/4 mile if I cut through the back yards, but there it was six blocks with sidewalks all the way, and the grocery was 8 blocks, and there were dozens of restaurants and bars and a coffeeshop and a bakery and an Indian grocers and little boutiques in the neighborhood. We moved out here because of the schools.

Sounds like you'd actually get more exercise living in the city! I've never lived in a city (unless you count Albany in graduate school), so it is hard for me to imagine what that lifestyle would be like.










Our house is probably 3000sf, plus a screened porch, a patio, a deck, and a partially finished basement, all on a little under 3/4 acre. It's a ranch so theoretically we can stay here 'til we die. :) But the idea of moving back to the city is intriguing. We mentioned it to Michael last night, and (surprise) he didn't express any concerns. That doesn't mean he isn't stewing it over, though. It'll be interesting to see what Jane will think, though. She's likely to have a more immediate reaction, and I doubt it will be positive. :)

Has Jane lived in the same house all her life? If so, I would imagine that she would be less than thrilled at the idea of moving.




It's possible, though for the past two years he's mostly just laid on his bed and slept most of the day, only getting up to eat or because he has to go out. Which more and more often, he'd get up too late. When it finally got to the point he was consistently soiling his bed and then just lying in it, we knew it was time.

That's definitely no life for a dog (or for any species, for that matter). Quality of life matters.





Yay on finding you were down after not weighing for a while! Why with minimal cooking? Just because you don't yet have all the skills, or because of the remodelling chaos, or have you decided you aren't really keen on learning to cook more?

All of the above! I find it really difficult to muster up the motivation to learn something new, especially something that is so time-consuming. I would imagine that if I really put some effort into it, though, I'd probably discover that it would be worth my while, and I'd wonder why I resisted it for so long--kinda like exercise!

Report: weighed (no change, yay!) and am headed out now to dig a bed, so I'll get some fair exercise.

You mean creating a new bed? That sounds ambitious! Flowers, or vegetables?

I weighed again today (no change). I had a personal training session that was so intense, I now understand why contestants on Biggest Loser sometimes barf during exercise! But along with the intense nausea, I felt an incredible sense of pride and accomplishment. In addition to warming up and cooling down on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the rowing machine, and 5 minutes working on a punching bag, I did 100 squats, 100 jumping jacks, 100 of a weird leg exercise I don't know the name of, 50 jumps up onto a platform, 100 crunches, and 25 push-ups, all consecutively with no breaks. Oh, and I also ran up and down a flight of stairs 30 times. I did all of that in a one-hour session, moving at a fast pace the entire time. YAY ME!!! I have come a long, long way, baby!

Today I got my bathrooms measured and am going to get new flooring in them, too. Tomorrow morning I am getting a storm door installed on my front door. I also have an appointment tomorrow that I am having lots of second thoughts about.....I'll tell you about it afterward! :D

Hope you had a terrific day!

va1erie
06-22-2012, 08:03 AM
Sounds like you'd actually get more exercise living in the city! I've never lived in a city (unless you count Albany in graduate school), so it is hard for me to imagine what that lifestyle would be like. I used to get a ton of exercise when we lived in Clifton. The house was up 30 steps from the street, so going to the grocery involved carrying down the stroller, then the kids one by one (Michael didn't walk until 3 because of his various physical differences), then pushing the stroller the six blocks, loading the groceries into the stroller with the kids, and reversing the process. :) The only bathrooms were on the second floor, and the yard was small enough and garage space limited enough that we used a reel mower. I loved it.




Has Jane lived in the same house all her life? If so, I would imagine that she would be less than thrilled at the idea of moving. Yeah, we moved in here when she was two and Michael 5, so it's really the only house either of them really remembers.

All of the above! I find it really difficult to muster up the motivation to learn something new, especially something that is so time-consuming. I would imagine that if I really put some effort into it, though, I'd probably discover that it would be worth my while, and I'd wonder why I resisted it for so long--kinda like exercise! That's actually my feeling, though of course I can only assume. What I can tell you is that there are MANY "recipes" that are just as simple and easy to master as the baked fish and poached chicken I gave you. You don't need an interest in cooking to learn to quickly and easily produce good, fresh, simple food for yourself, but learning those basic skills may very well -result- in your developing an interest in cooking. Your preference for simple preparations and especially for limited variety means you'll actually very quickly learn everything you need to know and will be able to equip yourself quite easily and inexpensively. You already have the baked fish -- that's a dinner a week plus if you do a double portion, the fish can top your salad the next day. The poached chicken, done 4 breasts at a time and stored in the fridge, opens up several options for simple dinners and lunches with little to no additional cooking -- salad toppings, sandwiches, chicken salad (we can find one with no mayo). I have an absolutely simple roast chicken technique that ANYONE can master and have tender roasted chicken pretty much any time. And the basic sauteeing method (and roasting method, I think?) you've already learned for veggies are nearly all you need to know for most vegetables. I'd like to see you grill them, too, and blanching is a VERY VERY simple -- BRAINLESS -- basic method that is good to have in your arsenal. Every one of these can be learned easily and quickly.


You mean creating a new bed? That sounds ambitious! Flowers, or vegetables? It's an existing bed that did have perennials in it, but it was destroyed when we did that addition. It's pretty shady, so I've been a bit stymied, but I found three plants I think will work in there. But I want to dig in some amendments first. Didn't get to it yesterday after all, but I hope to this morning.

I weighed again today (no change). I had a personal training session that was so intense, I now understand why contestants on Biggest Loser sometimes barf during exercise! But along with the intense nausea, I felt an incredible sense of pride and accomplishment. In addition to warming up and cooling down on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the rowing machine, and 5 minutes working on a punching bag, I did 100 squats, 100 jumping jacks, 100 of a weird leg exercise I don't know the name of, 50 jumps up onto a platform, 100 crunches, and 25 push-ups, all consecutively with no breaks. Oh, and I also ran up and down a flight of stairs 30 times. I did all of that in a one-hour session, moving at a fast pace the entire time. YAY ME!!! I have come a long, long way, baby! Wow! I have to wonder what your "Before" picture would say to you! :)

Today I got my bathrooms measured and am going to get new flooring in them, too. Tomorrow morning I am getting a storm door installed on my front door. I also have an appointment tomorrow that I am having lots of second thoughts about.....I'll tell you about it afterward! :D Hmmmmm! I'll look forward to hearing!

Didn't weigh this morning, but ate reasonably yesterday. Have a great day!