Weight Loss Support - I'm completely out of control - Please Help

12-17-2011, 02:54 PM
Hi Everyone

As the titles says I'm out of control with my eating. I'm desperate to lose weight and where I am in my life its critical that I lose the weight. My future happiness depends on it.

For the last two years I have been trying to start my weight loss journey after pilling on 80 pounds in a year but somehow its not happening.

I cositantanly say to myself you will start on Monday so eat as much as you can before hand and by mid week I'm off the diet. I'm huge procrastinator, always tomorrow with no action. I have been doing this to myself for 17 years, I'm obsessed with food so much so that I put it before anything else. I have not achieved much because instead of living life I preferred staying at home and eating. Time is finishing I just turned 32 years old, I'm aware if I don't make the change now I never will.

Today is the worst day - I bought for myself 12 krispy kreme just for me.

Also just ordered a indian takeaway. I don't even have the money to spend on this much food. But I'm so careless about it. I really don't know what to do anymore.

12-17-2011, 03:05 PM
okay, breathe, you need to take it one step at a time.

i would start by simply writing down everything that you eat on a certain day and figuring out how many calories that is. - there are books/websites that will tell you about how many calories are in each thing.

then, try to just cut that amount slowly. maybe just start with eating 100 calories less each day. see how much better you feel in a week!

then you can start taking walks. Just walk maybe 20-30 minutes a day. nothing too fast, just so your body will get used to regular physical activity.

after that, you might be able to go from there!

12-17-2011, 03:12 PM
You should start without a diet and, instead, track what you eat. Keep a journal for a week and then review it. That will tell you everything you need to know.

After that, if you feel another week will help you, journal it again and revisit your history. The picture will be clear where you're consuming too much, where you're making not so healthy choices, and where you can make better choices.

Rather than an "all or nothing" gorge before starting and then fall off the wagon before you've gotten well underway, make a plan that incorporates baby steps.

If you're drinking 10 sodas a day, cut back by 2, or try diet soda. If your having large amounts of certain foods, cut them in half and supplement with a salad or cooked vegetables.

If you can substitute out whole milk for 2%, do it. If you can substitute out whole cheeses for fat reduced, do it. Make a switch from white pasta to 1/2 regular and 1/2 wheat blend.

Instead of regular dressings, try light.

My go to example of this is pizza. Would I like to eat 4 slices? Sure. Do I? No, because I have a large salad first and then my 1 slice of pizza "tops off the tank" and I'm full and I really can pretend I just ate 4 because my belly says so, and my taste buds, having just finished that 1 piece are more than satisfied.

Drink lots of water. Make that a point. It fills you up and is just plain good for you.

If you can sit down and write up a plan of action, and stick to that plan of action 90% of the time, then you're on your way.

Another tip is....snack. Choose a fruit or a fiber bar or a laughing cow cheese with a couple of crackers -- something to keep you from being ravenous later. If you fail to have a plan, then you are planning to fail.

Also, don't be terribly restrictive with yourself--especially since you seem like the restriction is what is throwing you off your diet. Diet smart, not hard. Google "how many calories daily to maintain _____" whatever your current weight is. Find that, then reduce by up to 500 calories per day. Even reducing 100 calories a day will eventually lead to weight loss. 3500 reduced calories over a week in a perfect world equals 1 pound loss.

If you must have krispy kreme, work it into your week as a treat, not as a routine. Same with the take out.

Good luck to you.

12-17-2011, 03:43 PM
Start right now. Right this second. Not later, not tomorrow, not Monday, not on New Years. NOW is the only moment you have. And keep doing that. Starting NOW every time you mess up.

I agree a good start is counting calories. Try sparkpeople or daily plate and just measure and count everything you eat. And try to get out and take a walk everyday.

Wishing you the best.

12-17-2011, 03:53 PM
yes like the people above me have said just start by writing everything down. I didnt think i would ever be able to cut back on what i eat or change how i eat. I started reading this book called Are You Ready, by Bob Harper What i have done is started by writing everything down from everything that hits my mouth, and every workout i do. I have also learned you cant put your health off till monday. You have to be ready to make the change and be willing to work for it. Dont let one meal throw off your whole day you have to forgive your self for your past and move on. But i really think that book would help it has helped me so much.

Good luck!:carrot: You can do it!

12-17-2011, 04:32 PM
Sum, I feel as if I wrote your post. Honestly, food is the biggest struggle in my life. I can eelate to literally every word of your post. I've been tracking religiously on myfitnesspal & It's been helpful. Yes, I still binge and have issues, but its helping. Slow changes are key. If you get myfitnesspal, add me .. FitWife, and we can get through it together :)

12-17-2011, 05:58 PM
Have you considered Overeaters Anonymous? You sound like an addict. You know this isn't good for you (both physically, mentally, financially) yet you are compulsed to continue - sounds like an addiction. It's okay to say you need help, I suggest you reach out. good luck to you

12-17-2011, 10:52 PM
^What everybody else has said.

Just start. Start now. Start with simple changes that you think you can stick with. It's not the end of the world if you mess up, no matter how badly; just keep going.

Also, have you had your physical and mental health checked recently, just to make sure that you don't have any physical problems or mental issues that would be likely to thwart your efforts? I spent a lot of time thinking that my weight was a major cause of my problems and not understanding why I couldn't manage to do anything about it. Once I got the right diagnosis and effective treatments that made losing weight under normal circumstances a realistic possibility, I realized it was just a symptom of the real "problem."

12-18-2011, 06:25 AM
Man...I don't know how many "farewell to food" binges I've had in the past when trying to lose weight. I would binge on favorite foods or meals, saying "This is the last time, I might as well go all out!"

the problem here is that you are saying goodbye to food. You, like me and everybody else on here, love food. I would binge, start an unrealistic plan cold turkey the next day, and fail within a few days or weeks. Why? Because my mind was telling me that I was depriving myself. Of the foods I hadn't binged on before starting a diet, of foods I loved in general.

Losing weight and keeping it off requires a lifestyle change...it can't be a breakneck marathon that you just jump into.

I started counting calories this time, something I've never kept with before. I never kept with it or any diet because I would only let myself eat "diet foods." This time around I choose the foods I eat based on the criteria that I like those foods, they taste good and keep me satisfied, and they work into my calorie range.

Other than that, I just try to make healthier choices in what I'm eating. I plan my whole day's meals after the first meal of the day...so I have what I'm going to eat written out in front of me, and this helps me to stay on track.

If I absolutely must have that cookie, I bump something else off the list so that I can still come in under my calories. Or I don't eat the cookie, and keep my meal plan as-is...because to eat that treat, I'm going to have to bump off something else that I was looking forward to eating, that is better for me.

Food exchange is another thing that has kept me going, and helped me slowly work healthier choices into my eating habits. Also, portion control. Sometimes those serving sizes that seem soooo small are really the true amount that you should be eating. Example: I made pasta the other day (whole wheat!!!). I served myself the serving size amount of pasta, sauce, and meatballs. It ate it and was full! Even though the portion was actually less than half of what I would normally eat, and in the past I would have had seconds...so what I ate was 1/4 of what I would have eaten.

12-18-2011, 06:44 AM

Way back in the day when the dinosaurs still stomped the earth, around 1978, LOL, (dating myself) Readers Digest, put out the "Change one" diet.

Change one bad habit for a healthy habit for 9 weeks, then change another one. Eventually you would adjust.

You don't have to do it all at once. Focus on one good eating habit and one small exercise habit. When you get that down, tackle another one.

Track your food, exercise and weight honestly, and learn your body and learn to love it and know it along with your mind and thoughts. It's not a sprint it's a marathon. Accept it, and roll with it, instead of fighting it.

As long as you have more good days than bad ones, and you will have them, you will win in the end. :carrot:

12-18-2011, 07:07 AM
Lots of good advice above. I'd add the suggestion of finding a good book or two on the subject of overeating. Look around this site, I'm fairly sure I've seen suggestions somewhere, and have a rummage on Amazon, where there will be lots of helpful reviews.

12-18-2011, 03:55 PM
I definitely could relate to your post -- been there and done that!

I can tell you for my own self, that a book was not enough (which doesn't mean it wouldn't be for you or others!), and I went to a therapist who specialized in eating disorders (I considered myself a compulsive over eater). I don't think in the beginning I was in a place where I could tackle the out of control eating on my own.

there is so much more research now, and knowledge and expertise on eating disorders now, on biology, physiology, the psychology and how they all work together in combination -- psychopharmacology -- for treatment.

I wouldn't hesitate to explore your options.

12-19-2011, 02:10 PM
Love everyone's advise here, the biggest being to start slow, remember this is a marathon and not a sprint. Always remember, that you didn't gain weight overnight, and you can't lose it that way either.

And one I didn't see, but I would like to say... Keep coming back here! Come with your good days and your not so good ones. This is an awesome place for support. We all feel your pain, we all have had a struggle to get started and keep going.

There is so much love and encouragement here. There is an area of support for whatever need you can think of because we all know we do it better when we aren't alone in the fight. :hug:

Don't wait to start. We are about the same age, so I know what you are feeling about feeling like you sat around and let life pass you by. Just get started. Allow yourself to see each time you make a good choice the victory that it is, and even this will become a challenge you relish. If you want a buddy, feel free to PM me. We can encourage each other. :)

12-19-2011, 09:23 PM
Thank you everyone for the lovely advice's. I definitively have all or nothing mindset. I'm either going out full force on my diet and exercise or I'm doing everything I can to destroy all my previous hard work.

I think one of the reasons that I can't seem to start this time around is that I lost 60 pounds two years ago through sheer hard work of healthy eating and exercise. Instead of carrying on I stopped and put on about 80 pounds in a year.

I'm now bigger than I have ever been and more unhealthy. My sister in law said that the rate I put the weight back on was as if someone held a gun to my head. She said that she had doubts that I was 30 year old adult but rather a child to do that to my body. I just don't want to make the same mistakes again.

My brain works on Motivation rather logic, No matter how series the matter is, I have to feel motivated to do anything. someone on this forum made a great point that motivation is not always there so you can't rely on it.

I know it's not about dieting but change of lifestyle, I really want to get to a place where I see food as nothing but fuel, right now everything in my life is about food.

Are they any books which are no nonsense that talk about food obsession?

12-19-2011, 09:46 PM
I know it's not about dieting but change of lifestyle, I really want to get to a place where I see food as nothing but fuel, right now everything in my life is about food.

Are they any books which are no nonsense that talk about food obsession?

I will never see food as just fuel and, actually, I don't want to. Food is one of the pleasures of life, and it has been viewed that way for thousands of years (at least). Even in biblical times, food was part of celebrations. I think food should be enjoyed. The trick is finding the balance between enjoying consuming food without having food consume your every thought. I'm still working on that one, and I imagine it will be a lifelong struggle. Right now, I have some dark chocolate-covered dried apricots sitting on my shelf. I've had one tonight, but I could easily eat the entire package. I won't, though, because it would be one step toward regaining my weight. I am able to see a direct cause-effect relationship between overindulging and gaining back my weight---something I was not able to internalize many times in the past.

You may want to check out some books by Geneen Roth. She's a writer who has struggled with food obsession. Many people like her books.

January Snow
12-20-2011, 07:12 PM
It may be helpful if you might to divert some of your obsessive tendencies from food to something else. Some people on this site have been able to really get into exercise. Your diversion doesn't necessarily have to be weight loss related though. Maybe you knit and could turn to your latest project instead of food. Obviously there are some fixations you're going to want to avoid (smoking, shopping, gambling, etc.), but as long as your new obsession isn't causing any harm, making food less of a focus is a great way to help lose weight. So what do you enjoy other than eating and how you can incorporate more of that into your life?

One idea that's really helped me is the portion of the Hippocratic Oath that says "First, do no harm." Or as it shcirerf's signature says, "When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!" Even if you're not going to produce a calorie deficit for the day, focus on not gaining. Begin to think of where you are now as your high weight. Make it a priority to do whatever it takes to ensure that the number never goes up. If you're having a tough day/week/month/year, work on "doing no harm" by maintaining your weight.

I've also been focusing on making sustainable changes. For example, this summer I was drinking 2 or more glasses of wine or another alcoholic beverage almost every day. Now I'm about to give up wine for a "diet" because I know that there's little to no chance I'd be willing to forgo alcohol for the rest of my life. What I am willing to do is limit my consumption. Now I typically only have an alcoholic drink a couple times a week and often stop at just one. Think about what sustainable changes you can make to get your calorie balance moving in the right direction. Since you've successfully done this before, you have all of the tools you need to do it again. Good luck!

12-20-2011, 11:07 PM
I didn't read all of the replies here, but like many of the ones I did read, I am a big believer in baby steps if you have a hard time getting started. I did this one time while trying to lose a good amount of weight. At the beginning, I just gave up sweets. I ate whatever else I wanted, but no sweets. I lost 5 pounds that month. The next month I started taking short walks. Every little bit helps until you are finally at a place where your willpower is strong enough to put more effort in your plan effortlessly.

I'm also a big believer in joining a challenge. There are plenty to join on this site. We just started a Valentie's Day challenge that officially starts on December 26th, but sign up now or whenever you'd like. Please come check it out. Nothing like being held accountable to keep you on your toes.

Speaking of which, do you have a good friend or family member who can do this along with you so that you can support one another? I know that if my sister didn't start exercising with me recently, I'd still be procrastinating about it.

And please don't be so hard on yourself. Most of us have been where you are right now. I've done the dozen doughnuts thingy, too, more times than I can count, so I know where you're coming from. We are here for you, girl. Don't forget that. Check in here often, okay?