Pregnant - Nursing - Just found out I'm pregnant = overwhelmed




racrane
12-15-2011, 07:12 PM
Hi all. :)

I just took a pregnancy test today and it came back positive. I'm really shocked and wasn't planning this at all. I'm a junior in college and a theater major. (In fact, I have two shows in the next three months that I have to do and one is quite active.) My boyfriend of three years and I are contemplating adoption, but for now, I really don't know what to do.

The nurse said I'm probably 5-6 weeks, which sounds right. Now I need support and lots of advice. I have been intensely working out since September and lost 15 lbs (eating around 1500 calories and using Jillian Michaels DVDs). What should I change right now?

I am also upset because I have struggled with eating disorders and am terrified of pregnancy. I don't want to gain weight, I want to lose weight. I do know there is a chance of miscarriage so I'd rather not tell everyone at school. That's why asking questions online is perfect for me.

I really need support, advice and stories right now. Thanks, everyone. :)


sacha
12-15-2011, 07:22 PM
Wow, you must be shocked. Congratulations. I am a mom - my son is 18 months old. Since you are discussing adoption, I assume you are planning to go through with the pregnancy? Adoption, IMO, is an act of love - a woman must truly love a baby to go through with a pregnancy and to give that baby to a family. If that is what you feel is best for the baby then we will certainly be here to support you through it!

As for raising the baby yourself, that is really for you to decide - if you are 5 or 6 weeks along, then you have a lot of time to decide. When you are pregnant, you should be eating at maintenance, not for weight loss unless a doctor instructs otherwise. You can still work out unless advised otherwise- I actually did weights until 41 weeks with my first pregnancy (and nothing with my 2nd, it was high risk and I lost it anyways).

The weight gain, yes, I admit is the hardest part for some women. Being honest with the nurse/doctor about your history is the best path, perhaps they can refer you to a prenatal nutritionist. Being a mother however does NOT mean you will gain *and* KEEP the weight, no! Is it harder? I admit.. yes, it is. But nursing and less social outings do help. You can read my goal photo thread if you want
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal-photo-album/222442-reached-goal-6-months-post-partum.html

Good luck to you. I am considering adoption too - but as the adoptive mother, not the birth mother. As a mom myself (my son is biologically mine), I know that giving the baby to the best family it is the greatest act a woman can do.

Emerald Eyes
12-15-2011, 08:54 PM
bless your heart. What a hard spot to be put into.

I've had 1 baby (my daughter is 21 months), and seeing the scale go up is absolutely a hard thing to have to deal with. You've just got to remind yourself that you NEED to gain weight when you're pregnant. But also remember that it is NOT an excuse to eat whatever you want whenever you want-haha. I agree with the PP, I worked out through my pregnancy and never had issues. However, I also had HG and lost 20+lbs in my first trimester (but that only happens to 3% of women...so don't worry).

I totally admire you for considering adoption. I also agree with the PP that is is an act of great love and sacrifice!! We are absolutely here to support you!!!!


racrane
12-15-2011, 08:57 PM
Thank you both. It means quite a lot. :)

butterflymama
12-15-2011, 10:06 PM
Congratulations. I understand how shocking a surprise pregnancy can be and the whole weight gain thing. I am actually pregnant now with my surprise baby but am much older 37 and married so totally different circumstances but it was still a shock and I have to say my first emotion wasn't happiness (however now it is)

I too was in the process of losing weight and was down 45 lbs from my highest weight and the longest I have ever stuck to a healthy eating plan (7 mons) I was and still am dealing with the upset of gaining weight again but my goal is to stay on a healthy eating plan of maintenance calories and to exercise regularly and to try to keep my total weight gain to about 15-20 pounds. The first trimester was really had for me as I had all day sickness and huge fatigue so I found it really hard to exercise and had huge food aversions to any kind of vegetable to the point of being unable to keep them down. I am just now starting to be able to eat some veg occasionally. Anyway I lost weight in my first trimester (I always do, this is my third pregnancy past 7.5 wks) I do expect to start gaining over the next few months but hopefully keep within my goal.

You should come and join the Spring/Summer 2012 mamas group it is really supportive and we have another mama in the group who is considering adoption. I agree about adoption being an act of great love, one of my BF went through adoption 15 years ago and I was with her the whole time, was even at the baby's birth and the first meeting of the adoptive parents. There was a whole lotta love going on for that little baby.

racrane
01-12-2012, 05:23 PM
I don't know if anyone will see this but I'd rather post my question on my old thread than make a new one. I'm about 8 weeks along now and morning sickness has been miserable. I'm trying to eat what I can (crackers, bland foods, V8 juice, ensure drinks because it's hard to keep anything down).

I'm worried, though, because I'll still be in school starting next week. And the last thing I feel like doing is going to classes! But I must, and I will. I know lots of women work while pregnant. What advice can anyone give me on how to make it thru a busy day while sick? Thank you!

jeminijad
01-12-2012, 05:32 PM
racrane, I actually placed a baby for adoption when I was 19. I've been there.

Regarding morning sickness: I used to go ahead and puke. Even if it was just heavy nausea and I could avoid puking, I wouldn't. Something about the act of vomiting greatly abated the nausea for the rest of the day. My sickness ended around 14 weeks during both pregnancies that I had it, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

sacha
01-12-2012, 05:39 PM
I don't know if anyone will see this but I'd rather post my question on my old thread than make a new one. I'm about 8 weeks along now and morning sickness has been miserable. I'm trying to eat what I can (crackers, bland foods, V8 juice, ensure drinks because it's hard to keep anything down).

I'm worried, though, because I'll still be in school starting next week. And the last thing I feel like doing is going to classes! But I must, and I will. I know lots of women work while pregnant. What advice can anyone give me on how to make it thru a busy day while sick? Thank you!

I was at your exact gestation when I started the new semester. There's not much you can do but I found this helped:
- puke! (it DOES help, like when you've had too much to drink haha)
- cafeteria pizza. I would get up, leave class, eat a slice, and go back to class. It's okay!

cherrypie
01-12-2012, 05:56 PM
I had success with the seasickness bracelets. You can find them at the pharmacy

free1
01-12-2012, 05:59 PM
I know the shock/awe of a surprise pregnancy...You are handling this much better than I did :) You have some big decisions ahead but you don't have to make them all now. My prayer is that God will lead you to what is best for your life.

On the nausea...Have you tried preggy pops? If you go to a good maternity store (a good pharmacy may have one), they have these lollipops that some say really help with nausea. I've heard of women who swear by them. The good thing is that nausea gets better closer to 12 weeks. Smile beautiful....you're almost there :)

Beck
01-12-2012, 06:05 PM
If your morning sickness is debilitating, then your doctor can prescribe Zofran (and quite possibly other meds., it's been 6 years since my last pregnancy) for it. I had to take it while pregnant with my 4th son and it did help; I was sick morning, noon, and night until I got on medication.

Good luck to you!

natamars
01-12-2012, 10:44 PM
Ginger helped me a lot. Ginger tea(check the other ingredients - some of them contain licorice root which can raise blood pressure) or chewy ginger candies.

I always carried some pretzels and saltines with me too. Don't worry about nutrition too much -at this stage - eat what you feel up to and stay hydrated. I remember walking around the grocery store one night feeling miserable - I was hungry but couldn't think of one food that didn't make me feel nauseous. And then it hit me - raspberry sorbet! I ate the whole pint.

For most women the nausea passes in the second semester and your energy should come back. I was actually much more tired in my first semester than in my third.

Good luck!

racrane
01-13-2012, 12:42 PM
Thank you, everyone! I'll try some of those tips. I dropped out of one class yesterday so I'd have a lighter load (15 credits instead of 18). I kind of feel guilty about it, but honestly, I need the extra hours to sleep. Anyway, I'll have to try the things you guys suggested. :) Thank you.

butterflymama
01-13-2012, 11:26 PM
Nibbling throughout the day on stuff that settled my stomach really helped, especially when I was at work. I would pack my snack bag with bran muffins, salt and vinegar chips, milk, apples, etc and just have a nibble when ever I felt queasy. Also my midwife suggested taking a b-complex supplement and that seem to help with the actual vomiting. I had MS till 16 wks with my DS and with this baby.

Emerald Eyes
01-15-2012, 10:10 PM
it sounds weird...but carry lemons around with you. Even just the smell of them helped me, and sucking on them would ease my sickness.


I had Hyperemesis Gravidarium, so....the only thing that really "helped" me was having home health hook me up to fluids 2 times a day for about 2 months...

but before it got that bad, and after I got over the horrible part...lemons helped a lot.. That and peppermints (gum, tea, single mints etc...)


good luck, lovely!!

racrane
01-16-2012, 08:10 PM
Peppermint mints are helping a lot. I don't drink tea that much but I do like peppermint tea. Thank you!

I've discovered one true food besides crackers that I can keep down are potatoes. So, I've been eating potatoes in some form once a day. It's so weird how happy I am to eat something kind of solid!

Emerald Eyes
01-22-2012, 01:54 PM
I'm so glad they are helping!! I had about a million a day there for a while (it felt like it anyway).

I'm glad you found something else that you can keep down. I know it can feel a little like: "If I never see another saltine cracker it will be too soon" sometimes, so finding other foods that you can keep down is such a relief!

Here is hoping you can continue to find more foods that you can keep down soon :)


Hang in there, lovely!!

racrane
01-23-2012, 10:23 AM
Thank you very much Emerald Eyes!

I actually told my parents about the pregnancy and they were surprisingly wonderful about it. Anyway, they are very against the idea of adoption and I am feeling torn on what to do now. I am a confused person right now.

Emerald Eyes
01-23-2012, 10:31 PM
bless your heart. I just want to give you a big hug! I can't imagine how confused you are (and then adding all the pregnancy hormones on top of that)!

I'm glad your parents took it well :) Hopefully they will realize that this is a choice that YOU have to make and will find a way to support whatever you decide to do.

I have been thinking about you quite a bit and praying for you daily. Hang in there.

racrane
01-23-2012, 10:35 PM
bless your heart. I just want to give you a big hug! I can't imagine how confused you are (and then adding all the pregnancy hormones on top of that)!

I'm glad your parents took it well :) Hopefully they will realize that this is a choice that YOU have to make and will find a way to support whatever you decide to do.

I have been thinking about you quite a bit and praying for you daily. Hang in there.

Thank you very much! That means a lot. :) My feelings about adoption vs. raising a baby swing wildly day to day. I still have no clue what's best and sometimes it gets so overwhelming. I'm praying a lot.

As for eating, I've discovered I don't like to eat during the day but at night it's easier. So, I've adjusted accordingly and I'm hanging in there. :)

Emerald Eyes
01-23-2012, 10:42 PM
I'm so glad you're finding an eating groove! It's honestly trial and error (as I'm sure you're discovering). At this point...eat whatever you can whenever you can (sadly when you want to eat again this is no longer the rule-haha).

as far as your decision goes: you still have plenty of time :) Seems like you've got the right idea on the best way to make that choice: keep praying.

Crawlil
01-23-2012, 10:54 PM
You have a lot to think about. :hug:

I have 4, aside from 1 pregnancy I never gained more than 10 pounds, and after delivery I always lost twice that (if that helps at all)

Congrats :smug:

Sakai
01-24-2012, 01:14 AM
Hi Racrane-
I remember seeing you on the sppring/summer mama's thread.
I second the suckers ("preggo" pops) they are basically suckers with Iron and B-12. I was sick for a month and I tried them once near the tail end of my sickness (I got mine when I went to my first Dr appointment to find out if I really was pregnant and I mentioned bad sickness, but no throwing up, they handed me a bunch of them) Half the sucker is all I needed to kill the sickness, so it worked pretty good for me. But after that it was not so bad before vanishing alltogether a week later.

About the adoption. I may be giving mine up for adoption as well. My grandmother is very against it, as if DF's Mother. In fact she seems to refuse to accept that we really are giving up the baby. Though it put me down not having their support, I know I'm the one raising this baby and they won't be helping me. So it's up to me if I believe I can handle rasing this baby or not. In my case, no. Money is tight and we both have to work and have no one to watch the baby while we are at work. So in this case, we are pretty sure we can't do right by this baby.
It's between you and your BF what you do and no one elses. You still have lots of time to figure out if you want to be a parent right now. There are many programs that may be able to help you money or child-care wise. (In our case we are in the middle, not enough $ to take care on our own, but make too much $ to get help). Take some time to sit with your BF and talk about it. At least this way, if you feel like changing your mind, you know there is help for you out there.

racrane
01-24-2012, 09:11 AM
Thank you so much, Sakai. :) I really couldn't know until now what a painful choice adoption is, even though I completely understand the reasons for it. I think every woman who knows there's a better home out there besides her is very strong.

I'm of the situation that I'd love to keep the baby (in fact, I want nothing more to), but I'm so afraid I won't do right by the child. I am lucky that my family supports me and my parents are willing to pay for *everything* until my boyfriend and I get on our feet after we graduate from college. But even though financially it could be taken care of, I'm still afraid with my boyfriend and I working and in college, we still might not do right. And what if my parents refuse to pay? That's something I have to take into consideration. Anyway, I have so much to think about.

And yeah, sucking on mints seemed to help me. :)

Thank you everyone for your support. It means a lot.

Emerald Eyes
01-31-2012, 05:41 PM
how are you doing? Still hanging in there? :)

racrane
01-31-2012, 08:07 PM
how are you doing? Still hanging in there? :)

Kind of. Still struggling with what to do. The few people I've told have all pressured me to do different things, so I'm still confused.

It's going to be a long 8 months.... But thank you for thinking of me. :) It means a lot.

bitetoobreakkskin
01-31-2012, 08:21 PM
I hope you find the direction you are looking for. You have plenty of time! Maybe you should start keeping a diary? I read in a previous post that your feelings are varying day to day, so maybe writing them down would help. I can tell you this much, raising a baby is TOUGH. Myself and DH struggle everyday, but we do have family support and it helps a ton. My daughter is 15 months and the JOY of my existence. Although it is hard, I couldn't imagine life without her. I really hope my post doesn't come across as me trying to push you keeping the baby-because I am not trying to. I had a lot of mixed feelings during my pregnancy, but I kept them bottled up, because I have PCOS, and don't know if i will be able to get pregnant again. I've always wanted to be a mother, but i felt like the timing was off. I kept the baby, because of the fear I would not have another chance. I think you should go with your TRUE feelings, the ones you have inside that you don't share with anyone, for fear of judgement.

erinrenae80
01-31-2012, 08:31 PM
It is great that your parents are being supportive. That is so important. You are making an impossible decision. You and your BF have to make the right choice for the three of you. Everyone else will just have to deal with it. You might try making the "decision" to go with adoption for a week. Then, make the "decision" to raise the baby yourself for a week. See which makes sense to you and what you think the right decision is. You are putting a lot of thought into it so when the time comes, you will do what is best.

Emerald Eyes
01-31-2012, 09:55 PM
I'm glad the pregnancy part seems to be going ok for the time being :) I hope it keeps up for you!

again, I know you'll make the right choice. I agree...don't listen to everybody else. Listen to what you feel. You said you'd been praying about it--I honestly believe that's the best thing to do. You'll know what is right before it is all over.

Thinking of you often! (and keeping you in my prayers, too!)

Emerald Eyes
02-24-2012, 09:01 AM
hey :)

are you doing ok? I love your new picture...sweet little thing :)

jendiet
02-24-2012, 09:53 AM
I was 18 and in Pre-Vet Med School when I found out I was pregnant. I was horrified to say the least. it was definitely NOT under circumstances that I wanted. I had no support, no man by my side, and i really wanted to finish my program. I had HUGE financial issues. My family was not really able to help in ANY way. I considered adoption too. Then as the little life grew inside of me and I felt the kicks from little feet, I grew to LOVE this little being inside of me (before I kind of viewed it as a parasite). I wanted to know what his fingers looked like, and toes. The climax was for me when some well meaning elders chose an adoption family for me which pissed me off, because others thought they could make that kind of decision for me. I vowed to keep him. And i did. I went through everything imaginable. I sometimes was homeless, jobless, but I had my baby and it was me and him against the world. I do have to say God was so GRACEFUL to me. I always had someone surrounding me to help out with whatever I needed. It wasn't always pretty, but it was a life. There were some really really bad times, but there were way MORE good times. I don't regret ONE SINGLE MOMENT. I love that boy who is now a teenager (that has its own headaches) and I always cry when I hear that song "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you". I think of him, and how I wouldn't have him in my life if everything had gone "as planned".

Just so you know. I have a 9 month old "nursing school" baby sleeping in the crib in the next room. I thought I would not finish nursing school because I got pregnant in my second to last semester and I was due during FINALS and I knew I had to have a c-section. My crazy dr was admant about having it on the 3rd, which meant I had to reschedule a final, which my teacher was ok with, but the hospital called and told me they had to reschedule it for the 5th. Whew. However, I did get right through finals and ended up having the baby right before graduation. :). I missed my pinning but went to my graduation. nothing went as planned but somehow it seemed "all planned".

I am praying God gives you peace during this very trying time, and that He will supply all your needs if you look to Him for His help.

racrane
02-24-2012, 10:51 AM
Thank you, Jendiet. :) That means a lot.

jendiet
02-24-2012, 11:49 PM
you are very welcome.