I've been thinking about this recently and I've noticed that I use food to fill an emptiness that I feel inside of me. I tend to eat when I'm not hungry and the only reason I am eating is to fill this void I have inside me, but food just doesn't do it for me. Does anyone else feel this way or am I the only one?
You are not alone, same with me.....keep your spirits up!
I am trying to figure things out, find out what makes me feel this way and why I have to binge every time I feel that "emptyness". There have been days when I am really motivated and can overcome it, but there are days when nothing would fill that "hole", so I reach for food.
You are SO NOT alone! I eat every time I walk through the kitchen, or so it seems.
If I get the least bit stresed, depressed, excited, happy, sad...it starts all over again..I EAT! It's frustrating because I lost 60 lbs about 6 years ago and I've almost put it all back on! I need to get a handle on this NOW!
I am there right with you. The hole becomes the loudest and emptiest at night where I usually eat the bulk of calories and binge. For me calling a friend journalling it or white knuckling is all I can do. It's hard. But by the morning I'm glad if I didn't binge. I can't really snack outside of meals or I will just eat and eat and eat. I agree with one poster who said prayer helps. It helps me.
I realized lately that I eat when I am bored. My food rituals take up a lot of time. I will walk around the grocery store for a long while until I find the perfect thing (or things) to satisfy my cravings. And then when I finally bring it home I take time preparing it. I will make sure I have on comfy clothes and a favorite TV show on before settle in for the binge. Food becomes my friend. It occupies my time. Then after I am done eating I will undoubtedly fall asleep.
But when I am out after work running errands or whatever food is the last thing on my mind. It is only when I am at home, alone and bored, does my mind start wandering. Next thing I know, I'm at the grocery store in a complete fog.
I realized lately that I eat when I am bored. My food rituals take up a lot of time. I will walk around the grocery store for a long while until I find the perfect thing (or things) to satisfy my cravings. And then when I finally bring it home I take time preparing it. I will make sure I have on comfy clothes and a favorite TV show on before settle in for the binge. Food becomes my friend. It occupies my time. Then after I am done eating I will undoubtedly fall asleep.
But when I am out after work running errands or whatever food is the last thing on my mind. It is only when I am at home, alone and bored, does my mind start wandering. Next thing I know, I'm at the grocery store in a complete fog.
ShanIAm: I definitely agree as well! Although I don't stroll through the supermarket here in Germany - but that is probably only because they are much, much smaller than in America and they don't offer much besides the basics (i.e., no aisle for "chips only" or "cereal only").
I've thought a lot about boredom. I recently read a book from a German historian/sociologist entirely about the history of boredom. "Boredom" is a relatively new term used to describe this phenomenon. Throughout history, the phenomenon of boredom was instead referred to as "Melancholy." The term melancholy has also been replaced in our times with "Depression". I think it is interesting to see the close historical link between Boredom-Melancholia-Depression.
Pascal was one of the first to really analyze boredom. He observed that boredom scared people - it reminded them of how little they were in the world, of all their doubts about themselves, of their emptyness. Thus, people continually try to find any sort of distraction possible to fill their void (and he wrote this in the 1600's).
There is also Kierkegaard, a bit later. He actually thought that everyone was bored, but that only the more insightful people could recognize their boredom. The others just scurried about, pretending to be busy, in the meantime boring the insightful (who were already bored) even more. So, he thought those who could recognize their own boredom were of a higher class (in intelligence) than the others who had no idea they were bored.
There is also an interesting theory that governments make holidays, give the masses freetime, so that they will become bored (experience emptiness) and want to go back to work, thus making society more productive and passive.
In addition, boredom makes one face that they are really, in the grand scheme of things, Nothing (Nichts), -- an emptiness. Some write that if we become too bored, we could die.
Anyway, boredom-depression-loneliness are interconnected. Food is our present day distraction, particularly because our society has become quite leisurely. We are so specialized and production is so efficient that we have a good amount of free time.
During the Great Depression, the Economist John Maynard Keynes, was quite hopeful that the economy would recover - unlike the others. He was hopeful the economy would recover, but he had another overtaking fear that he wrote about: "What will people do with all of their free time once the economy has recovered?" Of course everyone thought he was absurd for writing about this topic when many were living off of a potato a day...... But actually, his prediction was correct.
EEk - I've gone on too long.
In a nutshell, when we are bored, we feel empty. Your distraction from the emptiness is eating. Maybe we all need to work on finding new distractions?
People often become distracted by a new partner when they fall in love, I've seen tons of women get quite skinny when they are in the throes of love.
I like this too: "People often become distracted by a new partner when they fall in love, I've seen tons of women get quite skinny when they are in the throes of love."
I was dating a guy last spring and we had a great time together and this actually happened to me. I was really motivated to take care of my chores, homework, etc...quickly so that I could spend as much of my spare time as possible with this guy that I never ate outside of meal times. We also rarely went out to eat, but would cook great healthy meals together or pack picnics...and then he went crazy. Sigh.
I've known SO many women that fall deeply in love, get married shortly thereafter - looking very slim and svelt in their wedding dresses - then quickly gain all the weight back, + some more when their love 'changes colors' and they start feeling the emptiness again.
It just helps me to know, after researching boredom, emptiness, and loneliness, that I'm not alone and that people have been facing this for centuries.
I know boredom is seen as a weakness in our society or as something that is a problem that has to be solved. But it will never be "solved". We can simply put our best efforts towards finding another distraction. It is a normal human feeling, not a human weakness.
I'm Trying To Fill An Empty Hole With Food
