Weight Loss Support - When results fail to keep you motivated...




nat123
12-01-2011, 09:46 AM
Has anyone ever started a diet where within the first or second week started noticing weight loss, and had OTHERS noticing as well, yet, rather than having this motivate you to stay on tract...for some reason you feel as though 'yes, i've lost weight but realistically how much more can i lose? i'll never look the way I want to' and because you miss all the goodies that you've cut out and are EXHAUSTED from continuous exercising...you give up?? This happens to me all the time...and once I fall off track I ask myself WHY? What emotions triggered my downfall when I looked and FELT great? ..If i had only just stayed on track I would have been closer to reaching my goal...

Wondering whether others have experienced the same, and how one copes??

thanks!


bargoo
12-01-2011, 10:09 AM
Ask yourself this ;
Which is better, fat, unattractive and unhealthy or slim, attractive, full of energy and healthy ?
Which looks better clothes in extra large sizes or size 6 ?

GlamourGirl827
12-01-2011, 10:24 AM
I went through this for over a decade! I'd lose weight, but looking and feeling good was not enough to keep my diet going or my exercising. My "need" for sweets and my natural disposition to sit rather than get moving always won. For me diet and exercise felt like a job and I too felt like 'how long can I really keep doing this?'
First I attempted to solve to exercise issue. For me I'd alway been an on again off again gym goer, because really I don't like the gym. I'm not a people person and I found especially more crowded times to be annoying. I wanted working out to be a pleasurable thing I liked forward to, not a chore. About a year ago, I began using a treadmill at home, which helped a little. When I took my running outdoors, I finally, first time in my life LIKED working out. It was peaceful, alone time I'd wanted. What I'm trying to say is if the gym isn't working for you, ask yourself what you would like you workout to be like, maybe swimming is better or biking? I don't even think of running as working out. I love running. I can do it forever. 90% of the time I want to go running, and I do push myself the other 10%.
I found the diet part to be harder. Eventually I'd always go back to over eating or eating sweets. Lots of sweets. Allowing a little treat here and there turned into a lot of treats. Slowly I changed my general way of eating to mostly whole foods so most of my diet is healthy but I still couldn't tackle the sweets. For me, I recently stopped eating sugar. And for the first time my appetite is under control. That may or may not work for you. Some people give up white flour, some do well with low carb, some may go vegetarian or vegan. Play around with our diet until ou find away of eating that controls your hunger if it's cravings you are dealing with. If you are just feeling restricted them try not to cut out all 'bad' foods but allow them in moderation. This works for some people as well.
You have to find a new eating plan and exercise that you can do the rest of your life. And treat them separately. If I decided to pig out for the next week,I'd still run. Likewise if I didn't run all week, I'd still eat the way I do. And give it time. It took me almost a year to really have running a part of my life. And dietary changes can take a while to feel like they are normal for you rather than a diet.
This is not a plug for running, but if you haven't tried it, ou should! It's a little addicting actually! :)


ShanIAm
12-01-2011, 10:42 AM
Funny because I was just walking down the hall 5 minutes ago at work thinking, "No one comments on my weight loss anymore and it's making me feel LESS motivated".

But no one is commenting because people got used to seeing the majority of my weight loss end back in July and August. So now I'm just Shannon. Not Shannon-Who-Lost-A-Lot-Of-Weight.

When the compliments stopped my motivation stopped too. And I still have around 15 more pounds I want to drop. I guess I got complacent as well.

So I actually have the opposite problem. Maybe it all comes down to how comfortable we are receiving compliments. For me, I obviously LOVE them. Perhaps for you it makes you uncomfortable? And although you feel great and look better it makes you uncomfortable that others are noticing and then you sabatoge?

The mind is a mysterious thing. The emotional part of losing weight and also gaining weight perplexes me to this day.

JayEll
12-01-2011, 11:40 AM
Maybe you are making your program too hard because you want fast results. That makes it a lot easier to give up. You shouldn't be "EXHAUSTED from continuous exercise"--unless you're really exaggerating, that's too much.

Try a more moderate approach. Don't cut your food down drastically, and don't go off the deep end with exercise. It may take longer for others to notice a difference, but so what?

Also, I suggest you find ways of dealing with that self-sabotage voice that tells you you'll never succeed, never look the way you want, etc. That's the voice that wants you to give up and eat. It doesn't care what happens to you, it just wants you to eat. Counter that voice by saying (out loud if needed) "I can succeed. I can look better. I can feel better. I can stay with my plan." Each and every time it comes up!

Jay

lm3898
12-01-2011, 02:12 PM
I completely understand what you're talking about but with me it's like oh well I've lost weight & look great so it totally wont matter if I go eat pasta instead of a workout & smart ones...and that leads to a total downward spiral until I notice the weight is back on - I need to stop rewarding myself with food...something I'm working on...

stimkovs
12-01-2011, 02:25 PM
you are not a dog. do not reward yourself with food.



I completely understand what you're talking about but with me it's like oh well I've lost weight & look great so it totally wont matter if I go eat pasta instead of a workout & smart ones...and that leads to a total downward spiral until I notice the weight is back on - I need to stop rewarding myself with food...something I'm working on...

Mimzzy
12-01-2011, 02:38 PM
If you have done this a couple times and rewarded yourself with pasta and then re-gained all the weight then you should know that it totally DOES matter. Your choices, good or bad every day matters. I am not saying you can't slip up, we all do and its okay once in a while not all the time and you absolutely have to get on track right after the slip up. You need to find a different reward system, something like a new pair of shoes or a manicure after you lost X amount of weight.

Natasha22
12-01-2011, 03:07 PM
Everyone has ups and downs, don't be discouraged. It's important to keep yourself motivated and focus on positive aspects in your life. Often, we find ourselves eating way too much than what our body needs because we are not engaged in activities that fulfill us.

Also, sometimes, we view dieting as punishment, because we're not allowed to eat our favorite foods, or because exercising feels too exhausting. Here's a few tips from my own personal experience. Always award yourself a little gift after each week of dieting. It could be your favorite piece of pie (a small piece of course), or a book, a bracelet, a little something to put a smile upon your face.

Stop weighting yourself too often, because you'll end up obsessing over a number, and that's not good. Use a quantum scale (you should be able to find one online), it does not display your weight, it simply records it and lets you know when your weight starts changing again.

Also, try to turn exercising into a fun experience, for instance, if you have a dog, grab a frisbee and enjoy a day in the park running and playing with your pet. Call your best friend and go to a pool, or a game of tennis. These are all fun activities and you get to burn calories as well.:D

I hope this helped and good luck to everyone fighting this battle :)

kaplods
12-01-2011, 03:08 PM
I think this is the classic pattern of weight loss. You asked if "anyone" had experienced this, and I would bet that (for anyone who has dieted more than once) it would be harder to find anyone who has not.

This is what drives me crazy about weight loss. It's still such a taboo subject, that nearly everyone thinks they're the only one - that "everyone else" is more motivated, more successful....

We don't know what success really looks like, because we don't know what everyone else is doing. Especially since when it comes to weight loss, people tend to talk a lot more about their successes than their perceived short-comings.

No one wants to admit that the "real" average for weight loss is far less than one pound per week - so only ever seeing magazine and television weight loss, they assume they're failing when they're actually in the top 2%.

We're taught to see anything less than 2 lbs, or 1% of our weight as dismal failure, instead of the amazing success that it actually is. Our perception of "normal" is so skewed, that even the best losers, feel like they're failing.

There are many ways to succeed at weight loss, but I think most of them require more "unlearning" than learning, because so much of what we believe just isn't true.

InsideMe
12-01-2011, 03:25 PM
Oh yes this has happened to me many many times. I think what's different this time are my choices. I just kept on myself to make better choices and to slow down and think twice of what I'm putting in my mouth. Bit by bit it got easier and when I fall to jump back on ASAP! Don't let it go too long, forgive yourself, and love you and realize yeah so what I made not a great choice next time I will do better, and if not, I will keep trying. Also I stopped rewarding myself with food! That's a HUGE one! It still plays out in my mind "oh I was so good this week I can treat myself" then I would gorge! I had to change my rewards from food to clothes, or getting my hair done etc. And I also look at myself alot. I take pics and really try to be realistic with what I see. The good and the bad and not concentrate on the bad. Like today, I can see the belly going, it's good, but it can get better. I can see my shoulders now, I never could before so I give myself positive affirmations daily. Like I'm good enough for this, I want this, it's happening, even if it takes the rest of my life, this is feeling GREAT. We can't go by positive affirmations from other people we have to do it ourselves and learn to self love. That is the biggest challenge not the weight loss. Weight loss is simply the icing on the cake ;)

JohnP
12-01-2011, 04:11 PM
Just wanted to reiterate the idea that if you're EXHAUSTED from exercise then you're doing too much.

Exercise is like getting a tan. If you want to get a nice tan do you go lay out in the sun for 8 hours straight? NO! That will result in a horrible sunburn. Exercise is similar. Take it easy - build yourself up over time.

Another reason not to over do exercise - it can make you hungry. (Some people yes, some no)

Finally - exercise doesn't burn that many calories anyways.

So do exercise - but don't over do exercise.

ItsMyTurn
12-01-2011, 06:04 PM
Just wanted to reiterate the idea that if you're EXHAUSTED from exercise then you're doing too much.

Exercise is like getting a tan. If you want to get a nice tan do you go lay out in the sun for 8 hours straight? NO! That will result in a horrible sunburn. Exercise is similar. Take it easy - build yourself up over time.

Another reason not to over do exercise - it can make you hungry. (Some people yes, some no)

Finally - exercise doesn't burn that many calories anyways.

So do exercise - but don't over do exercise.

I LOVE the tanning vs. exercise analogy!

Steph7409
12-01-2011, 09:28 PM
...for some reason you feel as though 'yes, i've lost weight but realistically how much more can i lose? i'll never look the way I want to'

This sounds more like a problem with negative self-talk than with motivation, a problem I know well I've been practicing telling that voice in my head to shut the f**k up. The more I do that, the easier it gets. Just like the more I make better choices about food, the easier it gets. Sometimes you have to just decide to stick with it, regardless of motivation.

Good luck!

Steph7409
12-01-2011, 09:30 PM
...for some reason you feel as though 'yes, i've lost weight but realistically how much more can i lose? i'll never look the way I want to'

This sounds more like a problem with negative self-talk than with motivation, a problem I know well. I've been practicing telling that voice in my head to shut the f**k up. The more I do that, the easier it gets. Just like the more I make better choices about food, the easier it gets. Sometimes you have to just decide to stick with it, regardless of motivation.

Good luck!

nat123
12-02-2011, 07:03 AM
Thank you all for your very helpful replies!!

Bargoo: yes, i try to ask myself that as often as i can..what's more important looking/feeling great or stuffing your face? [sometimes] works

GlamourGirl827: funny thing is i also loveee running i used to compete when i was younger..cross country/track etc..and you're absolutely right running outdoors is great and noticed that when the weather is nice and allows for it, i'm far more 'health' conscious...the gym is tedious and like you i'm often an on/off gym-goer

JayEll: you're right the 'self-sabotage' voice is exactly what i need to work on..the hardest bit i find...

Stimkovs: harsh, but great line to live by!!

Isis21/Natasha22: great advice on rewarding yourself with other things besides food...why haven't i thought of that before??!


InsideMe: Funny, that state of mind 'I want this even if it takes me the rest of my life' actually led to my friend losing 50kg...and in only 5 months time!...so stick by those words and i'm sure you'll reach your goal sooner than you expect!

JohnP: good comparison...and you're right when i force myself to hit the gym 7x week the next week i don't feel like budging...this time around i told myself 3x is enough...hope this keeps me on track for longer!

Steph7409: that's interesting i never saw my issue as one of 'self-sabotage' and always would beat myself up over lacking motivation...perhaps you're right...that little voice is always there just waiting for me to fail...won't let it happen this time :)