Weight Loss Support - How do you / did you find the motivation to start your weight loss?




cosmokindra
11-27-2011, 02:54 AM
I am so curious how people finally get the motivation to lose weight. This is something I have truly wanted to do for a couple of years now. I may start but it doesn't last more then a few weeks and I'm back to my old ways.. I just can not even get the motivation to lose this weight! Even though my weight effects me DAILY! And multiple times a day. It truly makes me so unhappy.. I hate getting dressed.. I need new clothes so badly because all mine are stained and some are getting holes but I just refuse to buy new clothes because its so depressing. I hate getting my picture taken and I just feel awkward constantly esp around people I don't know well. I avoid people. I recently moved to an apartment with full length mirrors as closet doors and I WILL NOT even look in them. I can't stand this but yet can't seem to find the motivation to do something about it either?

I am 23 with 2 kids and my boyfriend of 5 years (father of my children) Has recently decided to leave us for another woman. He has cheated on me multiple times throughout the years and I still stayed. Now we are officially done and I have moved out.. I have been unhappy and depressed for a few years now from being with him.. And I was far to worried about what and who he was doing and lieing about to even begin to think of myself. Now that weight is lifted and I am already so much more happy then I was even just a week ago! I moved out a week ago on Monday and I know this is now the PERFECT time to work on ME and get myself where I want to be heal myself and make myself happy!! As I have no one else to worry about except my kids and I will have some free time now when he has the kids. At first I was really sick over it all and crying all the time and l1 lbs in that time (now down to 273). However that feeling didn't last long.. and not long enough if you ask me (so I could lose more!) And I am already back at my old ways..

I am not eating out as much as before because now I don't have the money to.. but I am a stay at home mom (I am lucky enough to get enough in child support to stay at home with my kids still) and a full time college student. So I am home a lot and do the whole "bored eating" way to much! I feel like I will never find someone else to love me because of my weight as well as all my baggage! I would not even feel comfortable enough to go out on a date right now because I am so unhappy in my appearance! Not that I am even thinking of that right now but someday it would be nice!! Anyways the only thing that is standing between me and truly being completely happy is some hard work so why can't I just do it? I so badly want to more then anything!!! Sorry for writing a book ladies and thanks for any advice!!!


luckymommy
11-27-2011, 07:47 AM
:hug:My heart goes out to you. You've been through so much already. I think the key is realizing that it doesn't come down to motivation. Sure, motivation is great when you're starting out, but for most people, I'd say that it comes and goes. I think the key is dedication. You make a decision to change your life style and your eating and follow through. If you do fall off track, you get right back on as soon as possible. Drink lots of water. Make small changes that you can stick to and try to increase them bit by bit. Just never ever give up.

It's also important to set up realistic expectations. Kaplods, one of our members here, has posted lots of great info about how she changed her attitude about weight loss. I'd highly recommend you do a search on her posts.

Try to tackle this life change with an attitude of self love, rather than disgust or disappointment. What I mean is that when you want to eat something that you know is not going to make you healthier, ask yourself why you don't love yourself enough to nourish your body properly, rather than feeling self deprived for not getting to have a "treat." Once you start to eat healthy and you see how much better you feel, it will be easier for you to stick to. I've heard that it takes our brains 4 weeks to really make a new change.

Finally, being that I'm a food addict, I sometimes just have to take it one day at a time. Wake up out of bed with the commitment to stick to my plan like crazy glue. It often times doesn't work. In fact, this is the time of year where I struggle the most....but I'm trying and not giving up. Never give up. :hug:

p.s. Instead of doing bored eating, try something else....paint your nails, crochet/knit, dance around to music you love, organize a messy drawer/closet, chew gum, read a book, call a friend, read success stories online, etc.

twinieten
11-27-2011, 07:57 AM
Good for you!! I mean, this whole situation you are in isn't good, but you sound like you're headed in a positive direction. You should read the book "why does he doe that?" It's a very good read!

Gosh, what motivated me? So many things. You actually sound just like me! I stopped buying new clothes until I had to. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, and I swear I didn't see myself naked for probably a year! I couldn't look until after I was fully dressed and so I could apply make up or make sure I looked OK before leaving the house. I was refusing most pictures to be taken of me (any picture has something strategically placed in front of me). I noticed I was not fitting in chairs as nicely. I was getting to a point where even wiping my own rear was beginning to be difficult, I couldn't cross my legs, and I couldn't wear shorts anymore because they'd ride up because my thighs were so big. Everything was down to my knees or capris. I hated myself! Then I had to buy a pair of size 16 shorts so I would look presentable at a get together. I was devastated.

I just knew I couldn't keep going the way I was going, but I didn't know what to do. I was exercising semi-regularly, and I thought I was eating OK......

I started looking on the internet for weight loss options that wouldn't cost too much in money or time. A coworker had been talking about hcg, so I looked at that, decided it was affordable and that's what kick started my loss. Once I started losing, it motivated me further.

A few months later, I found the Bodybugg, and now I use that. It's really helped me with motivation to exercise, and eat right, and eat the right number of calories. I think the Bugg was the best investment ever!

It sounds like you're where you need to be, so the next step is just doing something about it. I weigh and measure all of my foods, keep track of my calories (fitday is a popular calorie counting web site) and exercise.

My best advice is to make sure you use a scale to track your progress. I think that was half my problem in the beginning. I kept waiting for my clothes to fit differently. At my size, it was going to take a long time. I think if I had a scale, I'd have been able to see the change in pounds before I could feel the change in my clothing fit, and that could have helped to keep me on track. Now I weigh daily because that's what I need. Others find that using clothing size/fit or weighing once a week is what works for them. For me, that daily weigh keeps me accountable. I see a lot of ups and downs in my weight, but I only record my official weight once a week. Seeing the pounds move down, and down is a real motivator for me. Even when I start losing my motivation, when I see I've lost another pound, it recharges me. I love my scale!

Good luck!


Beach Patrol
11-27-2011, 09:01 AM
:hug:My heart goes out to you. You've been through so much already. I think the key is realizing that it doesn't come down to motivation. Sure, motivation is great when you're starting out, but for most people, I'd say that it comes and goes. I think the key is dedication. You make a decision to change your life style and your eating and follow through. If you do fall off track, you get right back on as soon as possible. Drink lots of water. Make small changes that you can stick to and try to increase them bit by bit. Just never ever give up.

Truly awesome advice!

You already HAVE the "motivation" - you hate the way you look, you refuse to buy new clothes, you can't imagine going on a date, etc. Your motivation is plentiful! - what you need to work on is DEDICATION. Dedication to loving yourself enough to stop putting your body through such abuse. Yes, fatness is self abuse! - you're hurting your heart, your joints, your self-esteem.

Do some research before just "jumping on a diet bandwagon" - figure out what you really want; what you really like. Read up on several diets to decide which one will work best for you. And after a while, if you decide that your chosen diet isn't working so much, try another. Then another & another if necessary. Don't worry about losing x amount of weight in x amount of time - just treat your body with love, kindness & respect & the weight WILL come off. The point? NEVER.GIVE.UP! Because you can do this!!!! :hug:

ShanIAm
11-27-2011, 09:06 AM
I am SO glad you are here! :D And I am so sorry that you have been in such an emotionally abuse situation. Cheating, is, afterall an assult on one's marriage and it can leave you beaten. But NOT beaten down! It sounds like you are ready to get up, dust yourself off and finally put YOU first. With the exception of your children, of course :) OK, so. Now it's time to draw on all those feelings inside you.

Last year I hit my bottom. I had had enough. I wasn't sleeping, I was miserable in my body. Trapped. My age was catching up to me and I just refused to live the rest of my life the way I lived it for the past 15+ years. But truth be told my biggest motivation to lose weight was to be attractive to men and to stick it to all those that broke up with me because I gained weight over the course of our relationship or those who wouldn't even give me a second glance. I wanted to be stared AT, not looked through. All my reasons were pure vanity, not health. And I'm not ashamed of that. Motivation is motivation and if it got me going I didn't care where my willpower stemmed from.

I envy you. I wish I had this motivation and willpower in my early 20's. I look back and despise that I have wasted SO MANY YEARS being unhappy and depressed. Now you have this wonderful opportunity to do something about this NOW so you'll have more wonderful, happy and healthy years than you do being depressed and trapped.

The most important thing is finding a plan that is sustainable for you. And there is a lot of information on this board that will help you choose the plan that works best for your lifestyle.

Things that kept me motivated throughout this process is reading the success stories, providing help and receiving help from these wonderful people on this board, watching the biggest loser and other shows like that. Set mini goals for yourself. Maybe 5 or 10 at a time. And definitely get a scale. My scale was my lifeline. It kept me honest. The minute I stopped using my scale on a daily basis I found myself creeping back into denial and I slowly gained some of the weight I lost. I also bought goal pants. A pair of pants the next size down that I kept hanging in my room. I took a picture of me in them the day I bought them and every few weeks to see how they were finally fitting.

Anyway, like I said, I am SO happy you are here. :D

bargoo
11-27-2011, 09:06 AM
Do it for your children, they need a healthy Mom. Do it for yourself you deserve a healthy body. Take care of yourself. It is a little soon to think about dating. I found in my own case, after leaving a cheating husband,that when I started dating again I made some really bad choices. When we are down and depressed we are not always capable of making the best choices. You can do this.

carter
11-27-2011, 10:14 AM
I agree with the others that commitment (or dedication) is more important than motivation. You just have to make staying on plan something you do, whether you feel like it or not. You don't need motivation to do laundry, pay bills, or wash dishes - you just do those things because you have to. Try to think of staying on plan like that.

That doesn't mean you have to be 100% on plan all the time or it doesn't count - fortunately, weight loss doesn't work that way. If you can stick to your plan almost all of the time - and most importantly, get right back on plan immediately after a slip-up, don't delay, don't say "well I'll start again on Monday", but get right back on plan with the very next bite of food - and stick to this approach with patience, over time you will see results.

For now, think about what happened in the past when you gave up after a few weeks, and try to address that specific problem so it doesn't derail you again. You have a great resource here at 3FC - lots of people are struggling and have struggled with similar issues. So think about what sent you off track, and don't be afraid to ask us, "how did you stay on plan when _____?"

I wish you good luck and good strength. I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time right now - but it is a great time to get control of your weight and your eating, because unlike many things in life, that is something you actually can take control over. And it can feel really good, when many facets of your life are in disarray, to know that you have control over improving your body and your health. You can do this.

JohnP
11-27-2011, 12:07 PM
Like many people I started for a day or two and then stopped many times. This went on for about 7 years.

Then a series of events happened and enough was enough.

That said - had I known what I know now I would have started way earlier.

I thought it was all about exercise, and making huge changes in my diet. I had an "all or nothing" mentality.

Reality is that all I needed to do was make a couple small changes, stick with them, then a couple more, and then a couple more.

If you google "how to lose weight" you will get over 300 MILLION results. That is because the diet industry spends millions on advertising most of which is complete B.S.

This is a very simple topic. Weight loss is not easy for many reasons but it is extremely simple.

I'd suggest you educate yourself as much as possible. Lyle McDonald has hundreds of free articles on his site many of which are nutrtion basics. Read one every day. In 30 days you'll be a relative expert which means you'll know more than your relatives.

Rather than wait - I would make one change to your diet today. Doesn't have to be big. Figure out what healthy change you can make and stick with it for 30 days.

lin43
11-27-2011, 03:49 PM
Like many people I started for a day or two and then stopped many times. This went on for about 7 years.

Then a series of events happened and enough was enough.

That said - had I known what I know now I would have started way earlier.

I thought it was all about exercise, and making huge changes in my diet. I had an "all or nothing" mentality.

Reality is that all I needed to do was make a couple small changes, stick with them, then a couple more, and then a couple more.

If you google "how to lose weight" you will get over 300 MILLION results. That is because the diet industry spends millions on advertising most of which is complete B.S.

This is a very simple topic. Weight loss is not easy for many reasons but it is extremely simple.

I'd suggest you educate yourself as much as possible. Lyle McDonald has hundreds of free articles on his site many of which are nutrtion basics. Read one every day. In 30 days you'll be a relative expert which means you'll know more than your relatives.

Rather than wait - I would make one change to your diet today. Doesn't have to be big. Figure out what healthy change you can make and stick with it for 30 days.


I couldn't agree more with this post. I have yo-yo dieted most of my adult life, but this time around (since June) is the first time I feel different. It's mainly because I have a new outlook on weight loss. What works for me is accepting that my diet will not be perfect, my exercise regime will not be perfect, and my body will not be perfect----but they'll be a heck of a lot better if I at least try to make some positive changes. The "all or nothing" mentality is common among those of us who have/had a weight problem. It's what does many of us in; we give up because we can't be perfect (no one can). In reality, though, if we just keep doing the best we can do, we'll reach our goal or at least get very close to it.

Examples of where I've let "perfection" go:

1) I figured out a realistic goal weight for me. I have not weighed myself since the beginning of my plan, but I'm guessing I was about 180-185 (maybe a bit more). I decided that a realistic goal weight for me would be about 145 or so. I'm probably not there yet, and oddly enough, I'm still satisfied where I am. I'm wearing a size 6/8 (down from a 14). Now, many people would think that someone 5 ft 3 should be 125 lbs. or so, but I know I would not be content making the sacrifices that would get and keep me at such a weight.

2) I don't need to do gym exercise to lose weight. I just committed to 1 hour of activity per day, and that includes vigorous housework. As time went on, I started taking fitness classes at the gym mainly because I find them fun, not because I was pushing myself. When and if the dread factor sets in, I'll stop.

3) Little things add up---I finally realized that all those corny suggestions about parking farther from your destination and walking really do help. I now try to do little things to increase my activity and/or shave calories off my daily total---e.g., doing little bits of housework while I'm waiting for the coffee to brew, doing a few push-ups or sit-ups during commercial breaks while watching t.v., foregoing the cream in my morning coffee at times if I know my calories are a bit high, etc.


In short, it's all about consistency, not perfection. Since I actually internalized that truth, weight loss has been easier than I ever thought it would be.

Napia
11-27-2011, 09:28 PM
Wow! You've been through a lot. But many of us have. I'll spare you all the details but I went through a major suicidal depression several years ago, and though I never acted on those feelings I totally stopped taking care of myself. I ended up gaining back 40 of 60 lbs that i'd worked so hard to lose several years earlier.

Suffice it to say I've been an unhappy camper for a really long time. And it all stems from a long bout of being severly under employed for a really, really, long time. Well last year, a bunch of health issues started rearing their ugly head. And all of them can be traced directly to my weight gain. Add to that the fact that my health care sucked and it simply came down to not being able to afford to be sick cause I simply had no money to keep running to the doctor and having to pay multiple co pays and lab fees and all the out-of-pocket costs for medications.

It finally dawned on me that it would be cheaper to lose weigh and get off my meds. So that, plus the vision of me getting out of the plus sizes and closer to a normal weight is what has totally motivated me. If nothing else, do it for your kids. At your weight, you're at such an increased risk for all kinds of disease and ailments - including type two diabetes. And belive you me, you don't want to go there. Having the Big D will only complicate your life and make it harder and more expensive to take care of yourself.

Consider quarterly doctor visits, lab fees, multiple medications to control blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol. Diabetics are at high risk for heart disease. Nerve damage, blindness and kidney disease. So trust when I say you'd likely end up on three or more meds for these things. And if diabetic oral meds don't work, you could end up having to take insulin shots too. All this in addition to any medications you currently take. Oh and throw in yearly diabetic eye exams and diabetic foot exams too. And oh yeah throw in the cost of test strips. A lot insurance plans don't like to pay for test strips. And many don't like to pay for certain brands. Every time I've had a change of insurance I've had to change meters/strips cause the new insurance doesn't cover what I'm currently using. So much hassel, I'll tell ya. This an expensive and time consuming ***.disease to manage - it is ridiculous.

Shoot, I wish someone had truely given me the scoop on diabeties when I was told I was pre diabetic or even not diabetic and only fat. I could have done something about it before I actually developed diabetes. Now I have to totally factor everything into how I take care of myself.

I'm assuming you're not diabetic - not yet anyway. But you're certainly headed down that path if you don't do something about your weight and your health now.

So go ahead, get motivated to lose weight and get healthy for you and your kids.

RHay
11-28-2011, 02:18 AM
Wow, fight on. For me, I get motivated when I do the exercise and diet thing with a friend. We often motivate each other to go to the gym and prevent ourselves from indulging in sweets. Find a long-term plan that you will stick to and do things that you enjoy. Good luck!

Mimzzy
11-28-2011, 02:11 PM
I'm sorry you have had such a hard go of things lately, keep on fighting! :hug:

What motivated me originally to lose the weight, It was lots of things actually. It was the fact that I was actually sweating fairly profusely while walking to work, which is an easy 20min walk away. It was that my over weight boss kept making comments about how we were the same size! A customer actually said something like "Us big girls have to stay together" I was mortified. My mum kept calling me "fatty" and telling me I giggled when I walked. Seeing the number on the scale made me want to cry every day and I was embarrassed to go into public. I suffer from a horrible social anxiety disorder and being over weight made it that much harder to be in public. All I could think about was what other people were thinking about me and it made me extremely uncomfortable.

Like most of us, I was simply tired of being fat! I would see people running on the street or in the gym and wish I could look like that and do that. It took a real conscious decision on my part to get off my butt! I am happy now that I started when I did :D

KaeLynnB
11-28-2011, 02:36 PM
My motivation....My children. I realized that losing my third baby wasn't the end of the world. I have two beautiful healthy children that NEED me now, in the present, and if I kept gaining weight at the rate I was going, i was going to be diabetic and have all the other problems that come along with that. I just didn't want to be there.

You've been through a rough time. But now its time to look forward and think about you and your children. You are moving in the right direction, just keep heading that way!

Gabe
11-28-2011, 06:38 PM
About a year ago, I decided to go in for new glasses. I hadn't gotten any in about three years, and figured it was high time that I do so, as I'd noticed my current pair were less than optimal.

So, I went in, and the optometrist noted that the astigmatism in my left eye had increased dramatically. She mentioned it, but wrote me the new prescription. I got the new lenses in a week later, and, a week after that, things were still blurry. I went back in, and the optometrist, after some more testing, realized that she *couldn't* correct my eyes to 20/20, and that my astigmatism seemed to have worsened in just the last few weeks!

My first thought that was my weight had finally given me diabetes, and that I'd gone and wrecked my eyes. I then realized that I shouldn't have to be having those sort of thoughts at age 27.

What was wrong with my eyes ended up having nothing to do with my weight, but the chain reaction had already started. I realized my weight would kill me. I realized that my weight was a large part of what was wrong with my life, and was making me miserable. And it just seemed suddenly clear as crystal; I had to change it. I had to do anything I could.

Thing is, I know myself. I know that I self-sabotage. I know that I have limited capacity for change. And so I stripped away my potential excuses. I left my job and made weight loss my only job. I couldn't hide behind work being too stressful. I couldn't hide behind not having time. I couldn't hide behind, "well, I just spent eight god-awful hours on the phones and I'm tired and I just want some freakin' Arby's, so I'm gonna have it." No excuses. No justifications. No backup. No net.

Well, not no net; I live with my mom, ever since my divorce a few years back. It's been a good arrangement because we get along very well; I told her about what I wanted to do, and she's been supportive. She's been behind me one-hundred percent, and I could not do it without her. But if I fail, it's so amazingly and completely on my head. My fault. No excuses for why I failed, no reasons that it isn't my fault. If I fail, then I fail. Period. End of story.

I work best under pressure. And, hey, I'm now in triple-digits down, so I must be doing something right!

racrane
11-29-2011, 12:14 AM
My main motivation is that I want to be healthy in order to do my job well. So simple and yet so effective. I'm a theater major and the idea that people do notice every aspect of my appearance is powerful enough for me to lose weight.

Jojo381972
11-29-2011, 02:08 AM
To the OP, sometimes we stay or put up with crap because we don't feel like we deserve better. Glad to hear he is out of your life cause you don't deserve to be cheated on. No one does! For you just thinking you want to lose weight, your mind is headed in the right direction. You deserve to feel better about yourself, and be healthy now and in the future for you and your kids. I'm sure you want to be around as long as possible for them?

Knowing I was headed for disaster (high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes). I walked into my physicians office last September and was told that my blood pressure was medium high and I needed to lose weight or be put on bp pills. I chose the lose weight option.

Everytime I go off track I remember the reasons why I wanted to lose weight in the first place. There are so many other reasons that I and maybe you want to lose weight including vanity, finding a new bf, feeling great, increased self-confidence.

Unna
11-29-2011, 03:51 AM
I am turning 30. That was sort of enough.

Being lighter also gives me more energy and makes exercising more enjoyable.

I didn't need to find a super amount of motivation because I made dieting a bit "easier" this time around. I'm not killing myself, but eating around 1700 cal. a day and exercising moderately (not 2 hours a day).

So, the weight is coming off more slowly, but I also don't need to be super disciplined or rigid to stick to my plan.

InsideMe
11-29-2011, 08:14 AM
I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I am realizing that it has been more phsycological and emotional why I was holding onto my weight. Especially breaking the 200lbs mark, I never felt good enough for this and believed deep down I was destined to be big. I mad myself believe that's just how my body is. I wanted this so bad for so long, I have dreamed of it my entire life even as a child. For me it's not just being thin its about my health, and taking care of me out of self love. This is the hardest lesson for me, loving me to be the best I can be inside and out. Manifesting my soul into my physical body. And loving me not matter what size I am but always wanting to better myself so I can be a positive role model to my children. Plus I want to be able to run and have fun and LIVE LIFE! At my highest 265lbs I was slowly killiing myself, I couldn't even do 1 jumping jack. I was miserable, and I finally said enough, I was so sick of feeling that way. I still slip, but I'm learning to be kind to me. It's not motivation for me, it's wanting a better life, and who ever said life was easy? Everything takes work. I didn't get in my career simply by fluke, I had to go to school and work for it. Health is the same thing. I have to work for it so I might as well do it now! Put the work in and reep the benefits.

everettsisk
12-03-2011, 06:19 AM
My motivation is that I wish You all the best of success and luck to find YOUR inner motivation.So Take care for now and don't forget to step by once in a while for your weight loss career!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Esofia
12-03-2011, 12:21 PM
I was briefly put on meds which had the side-effect of stopping me from feeling hungry all the time, and it was the first time that I felt I actually had a chance to lose weight, so I got started. I also ended a bad relatioship (not romantic) around that time. I'm a relative rarity in being a first-time dieter.

MeganTheMushroom
12-04-2011, 09:33 AM
I've been a overweight for most my childhood. Not obese, but definitely overweight so that other people would label me overweight and I felt insecure.
I went vegetarian in 9th grade and began losing weight because of that. It wasn't much- maybe 5 lbs after 6 months of vegetarianism. It made me worry though. I wanted to lose weight, yeah, but I wasn't active or did I restrict calories (I still ate quite a bit, mind you, like eating entire calzones in one sitting!). That made me start working out, that way I could give a reason for the weight loss. So then I began losing more weight, but I was in more control with it now.

I got a little obsessed and lost a little too quickly. That has come back to bite me... I gained 30 lbs back! So now I'm losing again. What inspired me this time was the loss of confidence I had gained after initial weight loss and not looking like an active vegan should look. My clothes feel tighter and I just feel heavier.
I'm taking things slower, now though- just shooting for 2,000 calorie deficits a week. I've been thinking about quitting counting calories (I probably should) and just focus on quitting binging (I'm doing that too), but calorie counting gives me something to do. I have a food log notebook, and I feel good when I make little subtract numbers and total it up for the week to see how well I did :p

ncuneo
12-04-2011, 09:44 AM
Honestly for me it took getting on a program that required I make no decisions about my food and then once I saw that I was finally actually losing weight I was able to look at what it really took to change my lifestyle and make those adjustments to make it a permanent change. The other thing that helped me was that I had started gaining weight before I left home for college, but gained the majority of my weight at college. By the time I moved back home, I was 268 and anytime I ran into someone I'd known before, I was mortified and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I was just ready to get back self esteem...and I didn't have the same kind of stress in my life anymore that I had when I was in college, so that helped me a ton.

Good luck to you, I think you're moving in the right direction, reaching out and looking for help. I think that the support and advice here can change your life.