Weight Loss Support - Are you "fat" or "thin" in your head?




GlamourGirl827
11-26-2011, 09:46 AM
A conversation with my husband got me wondering about self image and weight loss. I was trying on clothes I bought and I told him no matter how much weight I loss, I'll always be fat in my head. (With the exception of my dad pointing out I was too thin, referring main to my upper body I think.)
My lower half is where I've always gained. And when I look in the mirror I truly see wide, fat thighs, hips and butt . It looks the same to me now (size 8) as it did as size 18.
With that my husband said he is skinny in his head. As he was always rail thin growing up and just packed on the weight in the past 5 years (he gained 100 lbs!)
I have spent my whole life "dieting", while my husband just seems to be in denial about his weight and the health issues its causing.

Are you "fat" or "thin" in your head? Does that ever change? Does it effect out motivation to lose weight?


Beach Patrol
11-26-2011, 09:59 AM
I am always fat in my head. Always have been. When I was 21 years old & had gained up to (gasp!) 121 pounds. I was FAT. Was I really fat? Of course not. But I was in my head.

I see pics of me at 192 lb and I think "wow, I was such a pig" ... and now, 37 lb later, I KNOW I'm still "officially" overweight, but not FAT (like I was)... and yet, I AM STILL FAT IN MY HEAD. I don't think that will ever go away. :(

JessLess
11-26-2011, 10:04 AM
I think I am a little fatter than average. But then, that's what I thought when I weighed 285 too!


Michelle2008
11-26-2011, 10:18 AM
I will always be fat in my head. People keep telling me I am skinny now ( which I am not!) and it really embarrasses me cos I know they just mean compared to how big I was!

I think I have a fat face - so even when I reach target weight I will still look chubby!!

JayEll
11-26-2011, 10:25 AM
I have never been "fat" in my head. I was a normal-sized young person and young adult, and I never worried about weight. Young girls and teens were not weight-obsessed when I was growing up, or if they were, I didn't know those people. My mental image didn't change as my weight went up.

So part of my challenge has been actually seeing myself as overweight/obese when I have gotten there.

Jay

TheCuriosity
11-26-2011, 10:53 AM
It keeps flipping for me. When I was a teenager and weighed 100 - 120 pounds, I thought of myself as a beached whale. Didn't help much when I joined a gym at 16 and they told me I was overweight and had to lose pounds after my initial assessment.

In my twenties I weighed 145 - 150 and thought myself normal and continued to think of myself as normal until after about a year of being over 200. Then I noticed I would give people extra space to walk around me and stuff like I weighed 500 pounds, but I still didn't "see" a fat person in the mirror even this year when I started to lose weight.

I need to take photographs of myself to see the fatness.

Now that I am 165, I no longer give that extra space to other people and but I now notice my 'fatness' in the mirror even though I am really only 15 pounds overweight.

Rosinante
11-26-2011, 11:27 AM
I'm fat in my head.
When I look in the mirror, it's not that I don't see and appreciate weight lost, I really do. Can't wait to start seeing the difference any kilo now! but even when I lose weight, I know I'm slim but my in my head I'm a fat person who's become slim. Not explaining it well.....
Partly, it's because my mother was a fat child who had a horror of me being fat but fed me fat and then was embarrassed by me being fat. I have one amazing picture of me aged 2, when I look like I'm helium filled! but I have a high school photo of me that makes me sad - I bet I'm no more than a UK14, aged 16, and already I knew I was F.A.T. and lumpy and horrid. What I wouldn't give to be that size overnight!!
I'm working on it.

IsabellaOlivia
11-26-2011, 11:33 AM
I'm fat in my head due to being an apple shape. I have slim thin legs, slim arms, a tiny butt and tiny little hips, but my stomach protrudes out like I'm 5 months pregnant. My BMI is in the healthy range, but my waist circumference is in the obese category.

ShanIAm
11-26-2011, 11:41 AM
I am always fat in my head. Always have been. When I was 21 years old & had gained up to (gasp!) 121 pounds. I was FAT. Was I really fat? Of course not. But I was in my head.

I see pics of me at 192 lb and I think "wow, I was such a pig" ... and now, 37 lb later, I KNOW I'm still "officially" overweight, but not FAT (like I was)... and yet, I AM STILL FAT IN MY HEAD. I don't think that will ever go away. :(

Parallel lives, Beach Patrol. Parallel lives. I'd give anything to be as "fat" as I was in high school at 120 pounds!

And like you GlamourGirl, I carry most of my extra weight in my hips and thighs. And because it is isolated like this it doesn't matter what is going on above my waist. I still feel and look (in my opinion) fat. :( I'm just less fat than when I was in 18's.

dragonwoman64
11-26-2011, 12:01 PM
I've been fat/heavy/obese for such a long period of my life, I'm not sure I could see myself in any other way.

flourless
11-26-2011, 12:16 PM
Oddly, I think of myself as thin in my head. I'm forever trying to squeeze through spaces I don't quite fit into, or brushing people unintentionally. I -know- I'm fat in an academic way, but in my head I'm thin.

I've been "fat" in the sense of over a healthy BMI since puberty though, and I've only attempted to diet a handful of times.

roobear
11-26-2011, 12:28 PM
I will always be thin in my head which is not a good thing because it makes losing weight very difficult cos when I look in the mirror I still see a thin person too. I always think I look thinner than I actually am so I say to myself 'oh one burger/pizza/bar of chocolate won't be too bad. I'd kill to be the the size I was at 18. I gaze longingly at the ball skirt my mum made me and look shocked at the size of the waist band.

PrairieGirl
11-26-2011, 12:30 PM
I see myself as HUGE, I don't see any difference from my high weight (about 215) to now (150) and I don't think there is a number small enough to make myself be anything but FAT. In highschool I weighed 125ish and was still HUGE (legitimately, I was a size 13). I think I need to weigh 100-110 to look 'normal'.

seagirl
11-26-2011, 12:39 PM
I'm thin in my head. I was thin for most of my life, gained about 30-40 pounds over the last 5-6 years and have trouble getting it off. I think because I am still thin in my head, and since I'm tall I can "pass" for normal sized. It's shocking when I see photos where I am large. It's also nice to realize that being fat is not the end of the world, which I always thought it was when I was thin.

But I'd like to get back down to a lower weight since it makes the activities I love to do easier.

Sum38
11-26-2011, 12:43 PM
I will always be thin in my head which is not a good thing because it makes losing weight very difficult cos when I look in the mirror I still see a thin person too. I always think I look thinner than I actually am so I say to myself 'oh one burger/pizza/bar of chocolate won't be too bad. I'd kill to be the the size I was at 18. I gaze longingly at the ball skirt my mum made me and look shocked at the size of the waist band.

My sentiments exactly!

I was at chiropractors office this past week, and my son was getting adjusted. I was sitting on a chair, waiting...the door had a mirror and to my horror I saw my HUGE gut. -- I usually look at myself from head down, and I don't look "that bad" when standing....the image on that mirror gave me a huge jolt....I realized I look like I have a beer gut (I hate beer ;lol )

I was TINY when young. I was 96 pounds when I got married. After I had kids, I went down to 108 pounds....even 5 years ago I was between 125-130 pounds and I looked healthy. Now at 160 pounds...not so much; but I have to get that skinny person image out of my head and realize I am big :(

sontaikle
11-26-2011, 12:44 PM
I wrote up a whole thing about this on my blog because it's something I've been struggling with.

I'm fitting into freaking size twos and I still see myself as "fat." I'm going to be entering maintenance within the next few pounds so I'm hoping that being the same size for a while will change that.

I was overweight and obese since childhood, so I guess this isn't something that goes away overnight

blueice10
11-26-2011, 01:02 PM
Up until this year I seen myself as skinny even though I got up to 247! It took seeing myself in glass doors in town for my mind to alter the picture of me. And a picture of me with my mom before she passed on. I keep that picture in my room because my mom looks happy, I look happy but big, really big.
I still dream skinny. Up until I was 30 I weighed in the 130's wearing a size 8. I briefly got smaller going down to a size 4. That's how I look in my dreams, a size 4 usually. So when I wake up and see myself in the mirror I am shocked usually. Most of the time I am still in denial and think I look better that I do. I got down to 184 wearing a size 16 four years ago and thought I look awesome. Though I was still big. But I am slowly realizing that I don't look great anymore. Looking at my pants before or after I put them on helps. They are huge and I am constantly amazed that I am that big. While I seen a size 3 pair of pants at KMART and they looked so tiny that I was amazed that anyone could fit into them though I was one pant size away from them when I was younger.
Upon thinking about it I guess it would truelly depend upon the day as to rather or not I feel fat or thin. Today I feel thin, hehe:D
Hopefully in two years or less I will be the skinny gal I think I am, that would be nice. I also grew in the 11th grade to 155 before losing back to 131. My friend at the time told me I looked pregnant, which I did. The twenty pounds all went to my stomach. It took my friends comment to realize I needed to lose weight. It was almost reaching 250 to make my realize it this time. I am still big but feel big, at least not today or yesterday. The day before that I felt huge. It just depends on the day now. It is harder to get motivated to walk when I feel small. But I do it for my health and the fact that I am usually proud of myself for walking for two hours, so I do it. Like today I am going to go walking here in a minute. It is beautiful out and it is going to rain tommorrow followed by cold weather the next day.
Anyhow awesome question, really got me thinking. I hate those glass doors:o

MsFierceFab
11-26-2011, 01:02 PM
Thin... it wasn't until I saw myself in pictures that I actually realized how big I had gotten.

Sum38
11-26-2011, 01:18 PM
Hum... I find it interesting that the people who were quite small (100 pounds size 2,3...) still consider themselves thin (myself included), and people who were a bit bigger growing up, see themselves bigger now.

theox
11-26-2011, 01:25 PM
I don't usually see myself as being as fat as I actually am, and I've always been like that. I never saw myself as skinny, either (except perhaps during early childhood, when I actually was). My mental image of myself tends to be of a solid, somewhat stocky, but not fat person. Part of it is probably denial, but I think a larger part is simply obliviousness to myself and my surroundings.

Rana
11-26-2011, 02:17 PM
Thin. I don't think I was ever tiny, but part of my problem with finally deciding to lose the weight is that despite whatever a scale or mirror or picture said, I felt thin.

Even at 200 pounds I thought I looked thin. I kept telling myself the cameras were taking bad angles or the clothes didn't fit right.

It was denial, obviously, but in my head I was thin. Of course I was thin, why wouldn't I be thin?!

Part of my journey was facing that mirror and looking at myself and really LOOKING and not excusing the image as distorted for whatever reason. I look at pictures of myself when I was a lot heavier and I just don't know how my mind played those tricks on me.

kirsteng
11-26-2011, 02:24 PM
I can't say either fat or thin. I've never been thin - I've been a bigger person my entire life since I was about 7 years old... but also active - I played sports all through high school - despite weighing 250 pounds - and was confident and had lots of friends. I knew I was big, but I never considered myself 'fat', if you know what I mean. I wanted to lose some weight, but just to make sports etc easier and maybe to attract more boys. ;) But even that I didn't worry about too much, at my height there weren't a lot of takers, even if I were skinny. :lol:

As an adult I've always maintained a weight of around 240 pounds. I put on this extra through having 3 children and gaining 10 for each one. It was only at my highest that I really started to feel heavy and unattractive. I know that when I get back in the range of 240, although I will still continue to lose to a healthy range, I'm going to start feeling 'normal' again.

Steph7409
11-26-2011, 02:26 PM
I've been fat most of my life, but I've never been able to see myself accurately. I didn't see myself being as big as I was at 225 and I don't see myself as being smaller now that I've lost about 50 pounds. I just got my first digital camera so I used the timer to take a picture of myself the other day. I don't look thin but I feel like "normal" is within range now.

ptod
11-26-2011, 02:56 PM
Even though I have lost significant amounts of weight twice (high school & college), I don't know anything different than being big. My brain never caught up with my body either time. I had too much trouble dealing with the attention that being thin brought me - being invisible then in the center of everything was tough.

Now, instead of thinking I am fat or thin, I am concentrating on being - right now - as I am. Talking my way through the journey plus gaining perspective by being a little older is making the transition easier - and more honest.

MariaMaria
11-26-2011, 03:43 PM
Dressed or alone, I'm around average (or height-weight proportionate, which is less than the US average. Naked with company, I see fat that isn't there.

Jessica Committed
11-26-2011, 04:10 PM
I'm a little chunkey in my head, and I think I have always been. I am a little surprised at what I now see in the mirror - even a little chunkier than in my head - so I hope that, when I do lose most of the weight, my head will adjust itself. I want a positive self-image.

lin43
11-26-2011, 04:23 PM
It has vacillated over the years, but right now thin in my head. I'll look at a pair of pants and think, "I should be able to fit into those," and I'm surprised when I don't.

I guess the up-side to that is that I'm not driven by discontent, and that has really made this weight loss attempt so much easier than past ones.

rubidoux
11-26-2011, 06:27 PM
I think I am a little fatter than average. But then, that's what I thought when I weighed 285 too!

This is me, too. I know I was pretty off the charts at my highest weight, and I knew I was fat. I felt fat, definitely. But I don't think I was able to acknowledge the true extent of it. I sort of saw myself as fat but not *that* fat. Then at 173 I would often feel downright skinny. :cool: But then every once in a while I would realize that, in fact, 173 and 5'0" is still pretty extreme. At that weight I was still wearing my 3X tops and size 18 pants. I was rockin' those 3X tops, but still. And whenever it hit me how fat I really was, it would really sting because I was getting used to thinking of myself as thin, if that makes any sense...

candice1022
11-26-2011, 06:34 PM
I also in my head for awhile always thot i was thing even tho i was overweight and obese...more so when i was overweight when i was obese i knew it and tried hiding behind tshirts 2 sizes to big... when i was overweight i still tried squeezing into those aeropostal and campus crew shirts that were l and xl even tho i was in a 1x or 2x in some.... i think in my head because i was always told i do have beautiful eyes that i assumed ALL OF ME was beautiful.... now that I am at 220 and losing the weight I still see myself as not fat but more unhealthy and working on it... im still beautiful just lost my way.... :)

Precious Little
11-26-2011, 07:55 PM
It varies. Some days I think I'm chubby, some days I think I'm thin.

It mostly depends on what I wear (a lot of my clothes just hang on me now and can actually make me look/feel bigger). It also depends whether I'm bloated - if I am then I feel fat - but mentally on some level I still know it's not fat but I just feel fat anyway.

If I can suck my tummy in and look side on in the mirror and am relatively happy with what I see, then it's a thin day.

DH tells me I'm too skinny now, but I always deny it. I know I"ve lost a fair amount of weight but I don't think I'm that thin.

Funny though, when I see myself in the mirror and think "I look 'thin' today" I'll go weigh myself to confirm - 99% of the time I'm correct.

I must be so obsessed with how I look I can tell within fractions of a pound if I've lost weight.

If, on the other hand I feel fat and puffy, I don't even bother to weigh - cuz I'm probably retaining water or have had a fluctuation up so I don't want to depress myself any further by confirming it. I have decided to ignore minor upward fluctuations in weight and focus purely on the downward numbers. This way I can track my losses and plateaus without beating myself up over it.

ShanIAm
11-26-2011, 08:55 PM
I already responded to this post but I have been thinking about it all day. A lot of introspection going on.

At my recent lowest of 131, I felt fat. But when I was 50 pounds heavier, I didn't feel "that fat". Now in hindsight I see pictures of myself from the 180+ era and I wonder how on earth I was able to lie to myself like that! I am completely embarressed that I was clearly obese but didn't see myself like that then as I do now. So now, at around 137, I tell myself everyday that I am fat because I'm afraid of lying to myself again. I wonder if that makes any sense at all to anyone?? It's so hard to explain.

mylifeswork
11-26-2011, 09:12 PM
On a good day I see myself just slightly north of thin. On a bad days I see myself as big as a house - I am down around 40lbs from my heaviest, wear normal size clothes, but the fat still sits in the same places (thighs and stomach). Body image is a *****.

ChickieChicks
11-26-2011, 09:24 PM
It varies. Some days I think I'm chubby, some days I think I'm thin.

It mostly depends on what I wear (a lot of my clothes just hang on me now and can actually make me look/feel bigger). It also depends whether I'm bloated - if I am then I feel fat - but mentally on some level I still know it's not fat but I just feel fat anyway.

If I can suck my tummy in and look side on in the mirror and am relatively happy with what I see, then it's a thin day.

DH tells me I'm too skinny now, but I always deny it. I know I"ve lost a fair amount of weight but I don't think I'm that thin.

Funny though, when I see myself in the mirror and think "I look 'thin' today" I'll go weigh myself to confirm - 99% of the time I'm correct.

I must be so obsessed with how I look I can tell within fractions of a pound if I've lost weight.

If, on the other hand I feel fat and puffy, I don't even bother to weigh - cuz I'm probably retaining water or have had a fluctuation up so I don't want to depress myself any further by confirming it. I have decided to ignore minor upward fluctuations in weight and focus purely on the downward numbers. This way I can track my losses and plateaus without beating myself up over it.

This is me EXACTLY. I weigh when I feel thin...and am. i don't weigh
when I feel chubby, b/c i a usually bloated or having a "up" day. I feel thin or fat just depending on clothes, mood, etc. But mostly I feel very good now.

GlamourGirl827
11-26-2011, 09:40 PM
There are a lot of interesting responses. I must say I am jealous of those that live on the "thin" side of the question. It is quite a burden to always think I'm so fat. If I have to squeeze by someone at the movies, sit next to someone in a car, walk past (or heaven forbid run past anyone) while outside. I try to go to emptier areas to run because I feel like a side show act in motion. I won't run in neighborhoods because I'm afraid it invites people to yel things about a fat girl running at me while they drive by.

I feel like when I sit down everything just spreads out and looks repulsive. I hate people seeing me shop because I feel like they are feeling sorry for the fat girl looking for clothes to cover her fat. I feel jiggle and intrusive on other people's space. I'm afraid I could be a size 0 and never feel thin, normal, not fat.
I'd love for one day to feel thin. Even if the numbers on the scale said differently. I just feel like great, I'm a normal weight and size, but I still feel huge. All that work and I feel the same and look the same to myself.

Sunshine73
11-26-2011, 11:05 PM
Fat. Always fat. I've been overweight my entire life and it's difficult to shake that ingrained thought. Even at my highest weight I saw myself as much larger than I actually was. Now that I've dropped about 60 pounds, when I look in the mirror I still 'see' myself looking just the same as I always have. I know I've lost weight because my clothes are getting too big but visually I still look exactly the same. I suspect this will be an ongoing issue for me.

runningfromfat
11-27-2011, 04:50 AM
Thin. Although this is somewhat if a misnomer. At my highest weight I always thought of myself as much smaller than I was. It wasn't until recently when I saw an old photo of myself that I could really see HOW large I had let myself get.

That being said, I've never thought of myself as thin per se. I have a large build, have always been very athletic so when I get down to a good body weight I look fit and trim but never thin.

Right now? I think of myself as almost there. I can see how far I've come pretty easily looking in the mirror but I can still see the parts that need work so I'm not ready to stop either. Realistically, I'm pretty happy where I'm at and if someone said tomorrow you could either stop today and get a million bucks or continue losing and not get the money, well, I'd probably take the money! :lol: But not counting that off-the-wall scenario, I plan on continuing.

I will say that that's fairly important to me to get an accurate sense of my body. I take a lot of measurements, take progress pictures, really try to look at myself in the mirror etc. Not looking at the evidence got me to where I was at the beginning. So now I'm pretty determined to continue to look at this measurements and get this body image stuck in my heads so there's no chance that I return to the old one. ;)

Dianee
11-27-2011, 05:12 AM
I think I'm always going to think that I'm somewhat fat because I grew up as quite an overweight child and I just think of myself that way. I still thought I was fat when I was 5'8, 137 pounds with a 27 inch waist. The weird thing is I feel smaller now at 156 than I did then but I think that's mainly to do with the fact I'm a little older and more confident.

I think I always will think I'm "big" even if I get really thin (but I don't want that anyway) just because of my height. I prefer graceful, elegant and willowy though - I shall call myself those when I'm thinner again rather than just concentrating on how I hate being tall. :D

susie256
11-27-2011, 08:53 AM
Everyday, every single day, I look at my jeans before I put them on and think there is no way they are going to fit me. I hold them up against myself and gawp at the size of the waistband. I completely convince myself that they'll stop at my knees and refuse to pull up. But they fit, just like they did yesterday and the day before and the day before that, but my mind still thinks I'm 256. Maybe it's a good thing it takes so long to lose weight, gives the mind a chance to sync up with the body.

CherryPie99
11-27-2011, 11:09 AM
I have been fat my whole life. I still think that I am fat. Not really in a self-esteem sort of way - that's getting better - but in a practical way.

Just like Susie, I pick up a pair of jeans and they look so small to me that I know they aren't going to fit and yet they are getting loose. I think I need more room to open my car door at the mall to squeeze out of my car and I don't. There are spaces I am sure I can't fit through and I do easily.

The other day I read something about an activity and it said that you must weigh less then 225 lbs. and my automatic thought was "Well, that rules me out!" and it took several seconds before I realized that I weigh much less then that now.

Not sure if this will last forever or it will just take a while for my brain to catch up...

carter
11-27-2011, 11:22 AM
This has been an interesting thread, thank you all.

My answer is similar to some others - I never thought I was "thin", but I had trouble acknowledging how fat I was, too. I always told myself that I "carried it well" or "didn't look as heavy as I was."

I had a kind of "Venus of Willendorf" figure and certain women always found it very attractive - I remember one lover exclaimed "magnificent!" the first time she saw me naked and believe me, a word like that sticks in your head and makes it very easy to pretend that you carry your weight very well.

At any rate, magnificence notwithstanding, my mental image of myself is more like my forum avatar than Venus of Willendorf, and after years of bumping into things and losing my strength and stamina (I had always taken pride in being strong like ox but started to find myself more and more a lump of flesh on the couch) I finally had to acknowledge that my physical self and my mental one had diverged way more than was really going to be okay.

I would say the way I look now is more in line with how I think of myself - still not "thin" - I will never be delicate or willowy - but muscular and not particularly corpulent. So while I never thought of myself as thin, for a long time I didn't really grok how fat I was, either.

berryblondeboys
11-27-2011, 11:28 AM
I don't see myself as fat or thin right now as I'm not. I definitely don't feel fat when I'm dressed. I feel a bit fat when I'm naked and I see my droopy stomach and bat wings. My husband thinks I'm about perfect and thinks 165 will be perfect. I'm not sure.

The scale right now is saying I'm between 24-32 percent body fat (24% if I am on my feet all day - 32 percent when I'm mostly a couch potato) Seems to be about 30-31. I would love to get consisently at 24-25 percent. When I get there, no matter the actual weight on the scale, I'll feel fit and healthy. I'm not stuck on a number as I am not a waif. I'm not built like one and never will look tiny and petite.

Snoofie
11-27-2011, 12:29 PM
I'm still fat in my head. Well, I suppose I'm still fat in my body, too, technically (5 feet tall and 155 pounds is still overweight, so...yeah.) But I've found that, even though I've lost almost 50 pounds at this point, I'm still convinced I'm bigger than I am.

Case in point: A relative gave me a sweater last week that was too small for her. I looked at the tag (it was a medium) and said, "Are you kidding? There's no way this will ever fit me!" (I started out in a 2XL in a shirt, and the last shirt I bought was still an XL...granted, that was almost three months ago). Tried the sweater on and, lo and behold...it fit perfectly. I guess I'm just still not able to realize that, yes, I am smaller now.

I think being "fat in the head" (LOL) is common among people who have lost weight, especially if you've been heavy all your life.

dana813
11-27-2011, 12:45 PM
Ooh this has been interesting to read. In my own head, I'm neither fat nor thin. I'm just average. When I look at the scale and see numbers in the 230's, it's shocking. I just feel like there's NO WAY I weigh that much, but I do. It's weird, I feel exactly the same as I did at 170 pounds. Maybe because I gained 70 pounds in a very short timeframe (like 10 months) so my mind never caught up with my body? I don't know. I just feel like I'm not as heavy as the scale says I am!

JohnP
11-27-2011, 01:09 PM
Thin... it wasn't until I saw myself in pictures that I actually realized how big I had gotten.

Exactly! I joined Facebook and realized ... uh oh ... I'm obese!

spykesfaythe
11-27-2011, 06:58 PM
I always see myself as fat. Logically, I know that other people do not see me the way I "see" myself when I look in the mirror. Logically, I know that I am not overweight but that is not the same thing as not seeing myself as fat. My uncle passed away last month and I saw folks that I haven't seen in 10 years (30 years in a couple of instances) and they were all shocked at my weight. I had several ask, "Don't you think you are thin enough?" My stock answer is always the same, "No such creature."

Having said that, I didn't realize how big I was until I lost weight and looked back at pictures of myself at my heaviest (208). A few years ago, I managed to briefly get down to 124.5 and just kept thinking, "If I could just get to 118, life would be so perfect." I look back at that sadly now, even though I am about 132-134 and probably in a slightly smaller size that I was then.

I think that, in my case, exercise is the key to my mental picture of myself. Having lost over 80 pounds 9 years ago but not exercising, I ruined my metabolism and became "skinny fat." Now I am playing catch-up in that regard. I know that when I go to the gym or do my Turbo Jam DVDs, I feel "smaller"--does that make any sense to anyone? It may just be yet another instance of my disordered thinking.

Rana
11-27-2011, 07:43 PM
There are a lot of interesting responses. I must say I am jealous of those that live on the "thin" side of the question. It is quite a burden to always think I'm so fat. If I have to squeeze by someone at the movies, sit next to someone in a car, walk past (or heaven forbid run past anyone) while outside. I try to go to emptier areas to run because I feel like a side show act in motion. I won't run in neighborhoods because I'm afraid it invites people to yel things about a fat girl running at me while they drive by.

:hug: You are not fat by any means. I know it's in your head and I wish I could fix that for you. This resonates with me because I am outside cycling a lot and it never occurred to me that someone would ever yell anything nasty to me because I'm a chunky monkey on a bike wearing a lot of lycra. (I am on the side that thinks I am thinner than what I really am!)




I feel like when I sit down everything just spreads out and looks repulsive. I hate people seeing me shop because I feel like they are feeling sorry for the fat girl looking for clothes to cover her fat. I feel jiggle and intrusive on other people's space. I'm afraid I could be a size 0 and never feel thin, normal, not fat.
I'd love for one day to feel thin. Even if the numbers on the scale said differently. I just feel like great, I'm a normal weight and size, but I still feel huge. All that work and I feel the same and look the same to myself.

This is not directed at you, but comment made me think about something that was critical to my success with my weight loss for the last two years (and why I still keep at it even if it's slow going).

I did not lose the weight because I thought at some day I would feel different because I lost weight. I never imagined that my life would get better or that I would have better self-esteem because I lost weight. I guess I'm thankful for that, because I won't be disappointed if my cellulite doesn't disappear.

I don't think weight loss fixes other issues. Weight loss is literally that -- weight loss. Better body or better life don't come with it.

FreeBird3
11-27-2011, 08:14 PM
I'm thin in my head. The irony is that when I weighed between 125 to 135 lbs and was between a size 7 to size 10 for all of my 20s, I thought I was fat. I'm now 175lbs and wear size 14/16 pants. I keep on thinking that I'm not "THAT fat"...after all, I still get positive attention from men, so I can't be fat, right? My friend took a picture of me just the other day on Thanksgiving. OH MY GOD! I'm living in denial. I'm definitely fooling myself into thinking that I'm thinner than I actually am. I'll be happy if I weighed 150lbs at this point in my life.

Napia
11-27-2011, 10:56 PM
In my head I'm close to my normal weight. No matter how fat I get, I have a vison of how I want to look in clothes. Certain styles and cuts that I want to wear. Problem is that designers have no idea how to dress fat people. Big flowers and prints, clown pockets, elastic waist bands, boxey cuts. Uggg just because I'm big doesn't mean I want to dress frumpy... please!

Over the years, they've gotton a little better but not much. When I was in plus sizes it irked me to no end that there is only one little section in most department stores devoted to plus sizes and it is usually on the second floor way in the back somewhere. And their idea of career clothes for fat people is ALWAYS A JOKE!


So my problem is that when I was fat, I still wanted to dress like a thin person. Mentally I've always seen myself as a thin person. Nevertheless, the mirrors and the scales don't lie. Lol!

InsideMe
11-27-2011, 10:59 PM
I have major issues. I seem to live in denial no matter what my size is. When I'm fat I don't think I'm "that" fat and when I'm thin I think I'm fat. I just can't win with myself so I'm just going to try and accept me at any size and concentrate on my health this time around. I'm basing it on my pant size and my fitness goals. Cause my head is messed LOL

RXAsh1
11-27-2011, 11:05 PM
I used to be thin in my head, then I caught a glimpse of some unflattering photos and learned otherwise.

Dottington
11-27-2011, 11:52 PM
I've thought about this a lot actually :) For all my life I thought I was fat. Horribly fat. Huge. A whale.
But I also had an eating disorder for a long time. After therapy I gained a TON of weight. So now I technically am fat, but its hard for me to accept it. I always was making excuses saying there was something wrong with the sizing, I was bloated, the scale was broken ect.
So yeah, its kind of strange. Its almost like I became too comfortable/lax with food and my weight. I think now though I really am seeing myself much more honestly though. Maybe for the first time in my life ;)

Mimzzy
11-28-2011, 03:32 PM
My mom and my boyfriend both think I have body dysmorphic disorder. My mom used to pick out people off of TV and ask me if I thought I was bigger or smaller then whoever she pointed out to me. My answer was always bigger.

Even down 40lbs, I see no change in my body. When I look in the mirror I see the same person I saw when I started this. My stomach is still flabby, my thighs and calves are still huge and I am still giggly. I have extremely low self esteem so it is going to be a huge struggle but I am trying to feel better about my self. I fear I will always be fat in my head though.

gagalu
11-29-2011, 02:54 AM
fat fat fat

i'm always surprised when i see recent pictures of myself

axaxouxas
11-29-2011, 03:23 AM
In my head I'm still over 300 pounds... my mental image of my body hasn't yet changed.

Jojo381972
11-29-2011, 03:56 AM
What a fascinating thread!

When I was at my heaviest last year, I somewhat lived in denial that I was obese. I didn't realize that it affected me as much as it did as I was told 'I carried my weight well', and no one would guess how much I weighed.

I knew deep down that I was nowhere close to what I weighed 20 years ago which was close to 140pounds. Back then I felt normal (size 10).

I feel fat these days, which motivates me to lose more weight. I can see how easy it can be to live in denial though. I also don't think it is always about a number on a scale because I know people who are happy with themselves at different weights.

SouthLake
11-30-2011, 01:37 AM
I think in some ways I have always imagined myself the way I look around 180. Which was thin when I was 239, and now, but fat when I was 140. What's funny about it is that I saw myself that size years before I actually got to that size.

Most of the time, I guess it's nice that I don't see how big I really am. But, I do think it made it easier for me to gain as much as I did. And it's also hard for me because when I do realize how big I am, it's devastating.

GonnaTurnHeads
11-30-2011, 07:59 AM
It changes a lot... most of the time, I feel "thick". I don't think I look *fat* anymore, but I know I don't look thin so I put myself in a "thick" category. However, when I see pictures of myself - I feel fat. Or if I go to the hair dresser and I sit down in front of the mirror, I see my belly fat roll and I feel fat again.

Every now and then I walk over in front of the mirror at home and get a glance and I feel downright SKINNY.

I try not to let myself feel like I'm thin or satisfied with myself because I feel like if I let myself be content with how I look, I will lose focus on the goal....

leftoverqueen
11-30-2011, 01:56 PM
I have denial issues as well. One of my biggest problems is that I think I look great and that everything all perfect. I love the way I look but unfortunately my health is at stake. It's hard to make good choices when you don't have the willpower or drive to lose weight.

loose seal
11-30-2011, 02:08 PM
I'm thin in my head. The irony is that when I weighed between 125 to 135 lbs and was between a size 7 to size 10 for all of my 20s, I thought I was fat. I'm now 175lbs and wear size 14/16 pants. I keep on thinking that I'm not "THAT fat"...after all, I still get positive attention from men, so I can't be fat, right? My friend took a picture of me just the other day on Thanksgiving. OH MY GOD! I'm living in denial. I'm definitely fooling myself into thinking that I'm thinner than I actually am. I'll be happy if I weighed 150lbs at this point in my life.

^^^ This! I never think I'm as fat as I am. I keep yo-yoing up and down some 15 -20lbs or so (I'm yo-yoed up a.t.m.) but still think 'oh, I don't look too bad' or 'oh, I don't look any different from when I weighed less'. Yeah, right. I was out clothes shopping with my youngest the other day and caught a glimpse of clothed self in the mirror. Gaaaaa, I look like a bloody beach ball. That prompted me to actually get on the damn scale Monday. <sigh> Who did I think I was fooling? I had to go buy a pair of jeans two sizes bigger about a month ago because I couldn't squeeze into my old jeans. . . . so how could I possibly think I looked the same as I did 20 lbs. ago? :ink:

tessilette
11-30-2011, 02:49 PM
I will forever be overweight in my head!
I didn't think there were so many people with the same kind of mind set as I have.
I've lost almost 70 lbs. now and have about 30 left to lose. But I can't see the difference. People in my life keep telling me they see the changes in my body, But I just Don't see it!!!! It's so frustrating!!!!
I'm glad to know I'm not alone!

Deevilspork
11-30-2011, 02:57 PM
I've always been thin in my head, but I have ALWAYS been large.
I don't ever picture myself as being skinny, just a thinner healthier size.

The thought of me being smaller keeps me motivated.

david
11-30-2011, 03:01 PM
i don't know if this is the same thing, but i've been overweight my whole life...three times i've lost weight to the point where i was thin...in my mind i always feel like those three times are normal and the other 99% is the exception...i also notice that when i lose a little bit of weight i tend to feel fatter than before i start losing weight

Emme
11-30-2011, 03:17 PM
It depends on the day. Some days I feel like a million bucks and think that I look like it, too. Some days I feel extra squishy and blobby and those aren't my favorite days.

loose seal
11-30-2011, 05:00 PM
It depends on the day. Some days I feel like a million bucks and think that I look like it, too. Some days I feel extra squishy and blobby and those aren't my favorite days.

I always referred to those kinds of days as my 'fugly' days. My youngest recently exclaimed 'Mom!' when I said that. Apparently it doesn't mean 'fat and ugly' anymore. lol

jenjulia
12-01-2011, 11:50 AM
I've lost almost three sizes (from a 20 to a 14- some 14's are still too tight) and when I look in the mirror I don't see anything different. I had a physical on Tuesday and when I mentioned I was still a little overweight to the dr. she said that I looked like a healthy weight (I'm still 14 lbs over a "healthy weight"). I don't "see" that. It drives my husband nuts. My goal is to be the weight/size I was before kids (158-163 and size 10-12). Maybe when I get there I will feel differently.

rachaelm
12-01-2011, 11:53 AM
I feel fat in my head.

Which is funny, cause I never think I'm as fat as I look in pictures.

Darn those pictures.

stimkovs
12-01-2011, 12:26 PM
this is actually an amazing thread to read! good idea.

for me,
dressed, showered, and good results on the scale, standing on my own: skinny

after yoga: big, but muscular and fit - healthy

dressed, beside other people, large- but not fat.

naked- somewhere between fat and damaged. i understand that stretch marks are beautiful, and they tell a story- but i just recently started developing the "pooch" of saggy belly skin, and it's REALLY started to bug me.

mind you- lb wise- i still weigh more then i should, but clothes size wise, i am very little, i attribute it to muscle. the only place that i can really still pick out fat is in my arms and tummy.

ShesLosingIt
12-01-2011, 12:43 PM
Fat, totally. I KNOW from looking at pictures that I look drastically different and yet, I still act like I'm 400 lbs sometimes. I go to restaurants and always try to look for the table, I get on an airplane and ask for an extender that I never need and I still buy my clothes 1-2 sizes too big.

TMI(ish) but I was kissing my, uh, special friend over the weekend on a sofa and at one point, he said "come sit on my lap". Now he's an amateur bodybuilder ('cause I had to work that into the conversation somehow, right?) but still, only about 5'10" and at most, 180-190. I told him I didn't want to crush him. He was all "I can leg press 700 lbs and besides, you're not that big" and I was like "Oh yeahhhhhh, you're NOT that much heavier than him these days..." It's mind-boggling

ArtyKay
12-02-2011, 09:58 AM
I'm pretty sure I'm thin in my head. I'm always surprised when I see pictures of myself, lol...like "Who's that chunker?"

I don't feel like this fat is part of me. Its just a parasite that attached itself through me because of yummy food and bad decisions. :p

deblosingit
12-02-2011, 08:08 PM
When I was my heaviest at 255 lbs I didn't feel that fat. But boy did the pictures tell another story!

Now that I have lost 71 lbs I don't know what I look like. I had my husband take pictures of me so I could look at them. But, even with the pictures showing me much smaller...I don't really feel any different except that I know it is much easier to move around.

I hope that some day my body and my mind will be in agreement.

GlamourGirl827
12-02-2011, 10:37 PM
I just wanted to say, as the one that started this thread, that I've read every reply as they've been posted. This has been a very interesting thread. I wonder where we get our self perception from?

lilmommajnn
12-02-2011, 11:58 PM
There are a lot of factors as far as whether I feel fat or thin. If I'm in clothes that fit closely (not tight, not baggy), I feel normal...until I look in the mirror. I tend to think that I'm a lot more compact that I actually am. I don't think of myself as HUGE alone, but then I go to work and am considerably larger than all my co-workers (not just weight but also at least a couple...or several...inches taller). I run into things because I have a no concept of where my body parts are. When I look in the mirror, I am generally disgusted by what I see...more now, after having been working out than I did before, since the blubber just hangs there now. Tried eating healthy when I first started exercising and gained 10 lbs in 2 months...kept exercising but ate whatever and have lost most of that, but basically stuck. So sick of my body...and the tricks my mind plays about it! :sorry:

Lisa532
12-03-2011, 11:50 AM
When I was a teen I was a lifeguard with a healthy body weight and in very good condition! For many years I always saw myself in this body as "thin"... Even after I gain some weight I still saw myself as thin... Then reality set in and I had to see the real me - very obese... FAT!

Now as I am losing weight I have days that I see myself as fat and other days as almost thin.. conflicting thoughts make me feel :dizzy:

Oh well.. Better to think almost thin as very obese :D