100 lb. Club - #181 - Love the YOU you're with!

View Full Version : #181 - Love the YOU you're with!

02-12-2003, 12:19 AM
Hi everybody! Hope noone minds me starting another thread. The other one looked like it was getting a little long. I've been away for a long time, and I thought the best way to jump back in was to start a new thread.

I've spent my day dodging birthday cake, bread, hot rolls and all sorts of carb demons. Good grief! I've only been trying the low carb thing for two days. I'm trying hard to stick with it, but other members of my family are already starting to jump ship. I keep telling myself that what they do or do not eat does not affect me. We'll see how far it gets me.:dizzy:

I have three events I'm trying to get down a size or two for. The first is at the end of March. The hubby, myself and my younger brother are going to the Nascar race at Texas Motor Speedway. It will be my first Nascar race, and I want to make it up the stairs without passing out and falling to the bottom! Mid April starts the Scarborough Faire that DH and I go to every year (Renaissance festival). We usually dress up on opening weekend, and I would like to look half way decent in my costume instead of being the prize pig for the bbq spit. But my biggest event comes at the end of September when I turn 30. I will not, will not, WILL NOT turn thirty weighing over 250. (M'Chelle jumps up and down). Not sure how far I can get by March or April, but I'm hoping that by going to Curves at least three times a week, trying desperately to stick to the low carb thing, and saying a few hundred prayers for strength a day I can make my goal for September.

That's about it for me at the moment. I hope no one minds if I don't post individuals to everyone from the last thread yet. I haven't forgotten anyone, I promise. I've printed out the last thread so that I can catch up. Anyway, have a great day everybody!!!


304/299/250 by 9-28

02-12-2003, 12:53 AM
that song is in my head now. "love the one you're with..."

i bookmarked some low-carb sites. i haven't tried it yet, so my plan is that if i hit a plateau adn need to shake things up, i'll do that for a few weeks. i'm kinda scared of it though. i think i like my calorie counting.

i weigh in tomorrow. i'm nervous. i've stated getting nervous because i want it so badly. i've been doing awesome - 4 pointers every day. TONS of workout, eating good, drinking water all day... i should have nothing to worry about. but that scale.... it's evil. :devil:

it's bedtime soon. i have to finish an essay. off i go...

02-12-2003, 04:40 PM
Just had to share this with you guys..

My daughter was such a hoot this afternoon!! :lol: I have to get this on video tape.
As some of you may know, I love to down load music (I use limewire.com) Today I downloaded "man, I feel like a woman" by Shania Twain. My 3 year old has been singing that non-stop! - She has been using the swiffer mop as her microphone. At the beginning she whispers to me.... "LET'S GO GIRLS" What a hoot!
All this dancing this afternoon has been great for me! :)

M'chelle - I've always wanted to go to a Renaissance festival - I think there is nothing sexier then those costumes!

Holly - I noticed how well you did last week - you rock!

I don't have anything planned so far for Valentine's Day... can any of you come up with anything cheap? (get your mind out of the gutter - we are going to do THAT.. that's free :lol: ) I told my husband that he is off the hook for gifts this year... payday is on Friday and we won't have a chance to buy things. What I want to do is take Sara (3 year old) to see Jungle Book 2!! The original is our fav!!


02-12-2003, 05:58 PM
Is it Friday yet??? For some reason I am just beat. Can't wait to get some sleep this weekend.

I am still sticking with my plan and the scale is reflecting my efforts. It's past being easy and has become just what I am doing. Right now my mind-set is that of I wouldn't have it any other way. I still talk about it non-stop, I wonder when that will go away. I can imagine stepping on the scale and seeing a number that begins with 1 and not 2.

Valentines Day will be pretty uneventful for us. We are taking Jacob to Pizza Hut for dinner because we didn't want to mess with the fuss. I got Steve some penant (Yankees) that he wanted and bought and I am getting the longaberger sweetheart basket (that I bought). Yes...the romance is gone. Jacob is getting the spirit video. I did buy Steve the kiss-kiss bears from Hallmark (last years clearance) and will leave them in his car with a card.

Overall I am pretty pleased with the status of my life. Jacob has double ear infections and a cough, so it would be nice if that cleared up soon.

Dana - It sounds like Sara was too funny. Aren't those moments great!!! Jacob sings itsy bitsy pider

Holly - I too was thinking that when my weigh loss slowed I was going to investigate carbs. But I am going to try making sure I have the appropriate amount of carbs (60%?) and fat (30%) and monitor that. But I am in no hurry since this is working.

M'Chelle - It's good to have goals! I know you can do it. We are curves buddies. I don't know if anyone else here is doing it. Let's hope it works miracles!!! :D

Goddess Jessica
02-12-2003, 06:44 PM
M'Chelle & Dana - I hate Ren Faires. My dance troupe (http://home.att.net/~mbfm/) perform at Ren Faires all summer. At first I was like, "Okay, Ren clothes aren't so bad" but after awhile I threw a huge temper tantrum and decided I would go dressed as a boy from now on. I think it's because I think everything looks like a tent with that much material. I don't need to look like a tent anymore than I already do!!!

I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. I've always felt like it's a holiday that makes couples feel obligated to buy stuff for eachother, and if you're single, it makes you feel miserable about being single. Sooooo, one condition of dating me is that you can not celebrate Valentines Day. I've never had a single complaint. :)

Well, I found out that I'm finally going back to the Midwest in July, for my cousin's wedding. So, my goal is to be under 200 by then. Pretty impressive goal but I really need to do it. I hate all of my extended family and would love to show them how happy I am now that I'm 3000 miles away from them.

02-12-2003, 07:22 PM
We have our adoption homestudy (social worker checking us and our home out for 2 hours) at 7 p.m tonight.

I am freaking out.


02-12-2003, 07:33 PM
Hugs to you Angi!!!!

Dana, my son Matthew is three, and loves to dance and sing. Maybe we should get our kids together :) Matthew loves the Beatles and can sing along to many of their songs. We actually bought him a microphone, and have tape recorded his singing. It's a blast!

02-12-2003, 09:56 PM
Oh Angi.. all the best!!!! :grouphug:

suzie - before I let my daughter see anyone I'm going to have to see his portfolio :lol:

Went to yoga tonight... so instead of eating my stress today - I exercised it away! I love yoga! - going to sign up for the next session.

02-13-2003, 10:53 AM
Angi, I really hope everything went well last night!!! :grouphug: :goodvibes Let us know when you have a chance. I'm praying for you :)

Dana, you're little one sounds just adorable! What fun! :) Dancing with Sara sounds like the best kind of exercise out there!

Sandi, I'm counting down the minutes to Friday, as well. I just have to say how proud I am of how well your doing. You rock!!! Keep it up :)

Holly, I saw in the weigh-in thread how well you did this week! You've been working sooo hard & I am so happy that it really paid off for you this week :)

M'Chelle, I don't know how you do the low-carb thing. I just don't think I have the power to do it. You're a stronger woman than I!!!! I think the Renaissance festival sounds like fun. I've never been to one, but saw a special on cable about them once & they looked like a lot of fun.

Things here are going okay. Start my new job on Monday. Hopefully it goes well. School is still going. I've fallen behind in this class, so I'm really going to have to kick my rear into gear this weekend & get caught up. The good news is that I only have 9 weeks of the HR classes left. HOO-RAY!!! :D Counting down the days 'til graduation in June. Dh is doing well; still going to school & working. Work has really picked up for him, so he's pulling some extra hours. The money will be nice. We're going out to dinner & a paint your own pottery place for Valentine's Day. I'm thinking I should be able to eat OP even though we're going out. We're going to the Olive Garden, so if anyone knows any good, low point dishes there, let me know.

Had a good, OP day yesterday. I even made dh a cake (he had been begging for weeks!) & didn't have a slice. I'm trying a new thing with my points to see if it won't help me feel full. I think I wasn't eating enough there for a while & then I would go nuts one or two days a week. So hopefully if I up my points a little bit every day, that won't happen.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day :D

02-13-2003, 12:09 PM
Dana, your little one sounds like such a cutie-pie!! I know that it is always so sweet to see those little ones dance and sing!

02-13-2003, 12:24 PM
Oops, I accidently posted too soon! Sorry all!

Angi - my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am sure that all will go well with the home visit. You want this child, and I am sure that you will be a wonderful mother. Good luck.

Holly - you have been doing great!!! Keep with the calorie counting, that sure seems to be working for you! I know that I could never do the low carb thing. I love my bread and pasta WAY too much.

Me, I'm doing pretty good. My dh and I aren't celebrating Valentines Day, but that is because our anniversary is on the 15th, so we opt out of the 14th celebration. You know, so we don't have any problems getting reservations, discounts on roses and all of the heart-shaped stuff that we buy each other on our anniversary. I am very proud of his gift this year. We didn't want to spend a lot of $$ on each other, so I made him a basket of his "favorite indulgences" you know, all of the foods that I don't usually let him eat, chocolate covered cherries, pizza flavored goldfish, beef jerky, jelly beans and also some other stuff, like my nightie that is his favorite and a picture of his most favorite indulgence of all (me :) ). So, we are going out to a nice dinner on Saturday to celebrate and then on to a movie. My inlaws will be in town and babysitting, so we won't have to pay for the sitter.
Hope that everyone else is doing well. I should be doing homework as I'm typing here, so I am going to get off-line and get my butt in gear to start working on the homework that is due this afternoon.

02-13-2003, 01:08 PM
Our homestudy went OK. My husband was 8 when his parents had a nasty divorce and his father left, rarely to be heard from again. He can barely talk to ME about it. Anyway, the social worker started right in with questions about his biological father. He did a great job, though, was honest and sincere and I think it went OK. I was very proud of him.

Phase two of our homestudy is next Thursday night. Then, she takes a couple of weeks to write it into a report and our agency decides if they will approve us or not (based on the social worker's recommendation).

Thanks for your kind thoughts and words,

02-13-2003, 01:20 PM
Hi all. Drake was feverish yesterday so I called in sick to work last night and of course this morning he is fine. ARGH! I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me that he is going to be okay and I can go to work. I've had to miss 2 shifts plus leave early one day because of his fevers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at him, obviously he can't control when he is sick. I'm just starting to get a little concerned about $$$$. I'm working part-time and I've hardly had any shifts booked the past few weeks and I've had to call in sick twice in 2 weeks. I only had one shift booked for this week and I had to cancel it when I could have gone in. I know things will pick up in the spring when the full-time staff start going on vacation and so on but still it is hard to look that far ahead when there are bills due NOW!

Anyway just wanted to vent.

M"Chelle - when I've been to a NASCAR race I find that climbing the stairs is not really the problem, the problem is that the seats and rows to get to the seats are very, very, very narrow. It is next to impossible to walk in front of another person even when they do stand up to get to your seat. My advice is to get to your seat early and don't drink so much that you will have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the race. Just plan on staying there for the next 4 hours! That has been my experience anyway or hope that you get a seat on the aisle!

02-13-2003, 04:31 PM
M'Chelle: Having goals set makes everything I do a little more purposeful. I've never been to a NASCAR event, I'd be worried about fitting through the turnstiles, but that's everywhere that has them, I guess. Good luck w/low-carbing it.

Holly: You are doing excellent!!! :D I tried low-carbing it last spring, but I'm Italian, I gots-ta have the pasta.

Dana: My friend's daughter used to sing along w/"My Love Don't Cost a Thing" when she was about 2 1/2. :lol: There's a Renaissance Faire on the state line of WI/IL. There are signs for it as you get closer to IL. I'm sure there must be something closer to you, they *are* fun.

Sandi: I think kiss-kiss bears are romantic!

Jessica: Nothing like an upcoming wedding to fuel the fire.

Angi: Glad to hear it went well. :grouphug:

Kayla: Is that a modified "Wendi" method? I read about it in Woman's World. Sounds like it really works, let us know how it goes.

Denise: That was a great gift idea. My cousin's anniversary is today--same deal.

Jen: Things will get better. I'm sure your boss understands that your child comes first.

As for me, it's been a good OP week. I went back to the kidney doctor to get my results from my blood/urine tests & ultrasound. Details can be found in my journal, but the thing I forgot to write in there is that he said I don't have to follow the renal diet at this point in time. If I want, I can see any dietician of my choice up @ the hospital, but it would only be for weight loss issues, not renal issues, as I have no renal issues right now. *whew* So that was a load off my mind as I'd scared myself real good before my appt.

Other than that, things are going fine. My next project will be to go through the Roughneck I have w/my size 20 clothes in it, to see what's still stylish & what's not. (I like classic styles, so I'm not too worried) This weekend I'm going to drop at least $50 @ the Origins counter, to try & get this skin figured out. Friday is no big deal.

02-14-2003, 09:38 AM
Just wondering.. has anyone heard from Jenniffer?

I hope you are doing well!!

02-14-2003, 09:59 AM
Haven't heard from Jennifer - I was planning on sending out the dogs today myself!!!

Goddess Jessica
02-14-2003, 06:32 PM

I need a jump start.

I need someone to stand on top of me and jiggle my rolls and say, "Do you really want this bouncing around???"

I need to catch myself in the mirror from behind... what a scary sight!!!

Last night the office went to Bucco Di Beppo (family style italian)for a co-workers post-wedding office celebration. I waited for the chicken... and waited... and waited... and then I ate the cesear salad to hold me over.... then, manicotti, the eggplant parmasean, the meatballs (I hate red meat?!?!), and a billion slices of garlic bread. I felt so gross afterwards (and the chicken never did show up). If this was one slip up I wouldn't care but my eating has been off for almost a month!

I swear Sandi and I must be the ying and yang of the diet universe because whenever she's doing bad, I'm doing good and she's been doing good for a LONG time.

Anyway, I'm frustrated and I KNOW what to do about it. But why aren't I doing anything about it?!?!??!

Thanks for the vent.

02-14-2003, 07:00 PM
Originally posted by Goddess Jessica

Last night the office went to Bucco Di Beppo (family style italian)

that's where i'm going tomorrow night. i've never been to one. hmmm.

what's a good suggestion of how to beat it??? i wonder if they have a website.... i need to prepare myself... for that and the carrot cake... argh.

no worries. i WILL have a 4 point day tomorow.

Goddess Jessica
02-14-2003, 07:59 PM
The lemon chicken.... which never showed up.

Everything is VERY rich and family style, so be prepared for sharing to occur.

It's a great place but save your calories for it.

(Also recommend the Maestro Wine... merlot blend. VERY yummy :))

02-15-2003, 12:38 PM
Hey everybody! How goes it? Not much going on here. I had a pretty quiet Valentines Day. We don't usually do much for Valentines because of the crowds, plus we didn't have a whole lot of money. I got dh a stuffed gorilla with a little balloon and a card. I am a big Lord of the Rings fan (saw the first one 8 times, if that tells you anything). There is a poem in there that is the main poem of the story. My dh took the poem and rewrote it for Valentines day. It was really cute, and pretty creative I thought, although if he had done it for anyone else they would have thought he had lost his marbles. Just right for strange and bizarre me though.:lol: We went over to my parents house and did pretty well. My Dad is doing the low carb thing too, and she was trying to come up with a treat that everyone could have without packing too many carbs into it. So she took a few strawberries and dipped them in dark and white chocolate. So that was our Valentines candy. Not bad at all.

I had some major victories for me this week, so I am kind of proud of myself. I work for the home distribution center for the Cargokids stores. The company packed everyone up at the office and dc into two buses so everyone could look at one of the remodeled stores. Evidently in order to look at a store you have to be full of Krispy Kreme donuts and juice to do it. They had boxes and boxes of those stupid donuts on that bus and every few minutes someone was sticking the box under my nose. I swore if one more person stuck a donut at me I would strangle them with it and there wasn't a court in the world that would convict me! The same day I went to a resteraunt for lunch and ordered a chicken caesar salad. I didn't know it was going to come with a half a loaf of garlic bread. I managed not to eat that either. Since yesterday was Valentines I spent the day dodging cookies, candy and cupcakes at the office. But I did it!! I didn't have any of that stuff over the last two days, and I am very proud of myself! :D

gonzostar - No one thing works for everyone. If your way works for you (and it looks like it is: 244 to 216!!), then why change it. Sounds like you are doing great!

Slimdown - What a little cutie! I bet those are the sights that make being a Mommy great.

Sandi - Hey there Curves buddy! (that sounds cool). Hows it going? Sounds like you are doing awesome. I see your 37 lbs gone - way to go!

Goddess Jessica - Ren faires aren't for everyone. The thing about the one here is that it's in Texas - meaning it's HOT! Most women go as peasants so that they don't have to wear all those layers and can be cooler. Good luck on your goal for the wedding!

AngiKL - I'm glad your homestudy went well. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed and sending up a bunch of prayers for ya. You'll be holding that little bundle of joy before you know it.

Suzie - Sounds like you have a little performer on your hands. How cute!!

Snowball - Looking at your track record, I wouldn't think of trying something different - If it ain't broke, don't fix it!! :lol: Way to go on all the weight you've lost!! Pretty soon you can go to one of those Ren Faires as a belly dancer. Bet your dh would get a kick out of that. Good luck on your new job on Monday!!

Denise - Bet your dh loved his basket (especially the nightie). Very creative! Happy Anniversary!!

Jen - Sorry the little one has been sick. Thanks for the advice on the race. I've heard that about the seats before. Looking at the tickets, I think we are on the aisle, so that will be a good thing.

SAPF - Congrats on the OP week, and what sounds like good results on your test.

Well, better go for now. Type at ya'll later. Have a good weekend.


M'Chelle :angel:
304/297.5/under 200 (1st goal)

02-15-2003, 07:47 PM
Mmmmm, Buca's.

02-16-2003, 11:03 AM
Bonnieangel - I'm a huge LOTR fan as well. Can't wait for Return of the King! Why must they make us wait so long?

I'm encouraged. I just got my hair cut yesterday - shorter and kickier, my eyebrows waxed - I love them, and some new clothes from the clearance racks. I got some great bargains. I now own a pair of shorts and some t-shirts that FIT. I also got a blouse and sweater in colors I don't usually wear. The shirts I got in a small!!! I never thought I could wear something labeled small! My sweater is a medium, and the shorts were a 12! Last year at this time, I would have said "Who on earth wears a 12? That's unrealistic. Why do they make them?"

02-16-2003, 10:45 PM
Well it's Sunday night and a fun weekend is coming to an end. For once the weekend seemed very relaxing. We had DH's brother & fiance over for dinner, went to see Dare-Devil (great flick), had breakfast with a friend. Everything seemed very low-key.

I did have to fight off the urge to go off plan at every turn. But somewhere I managed to have success.

Still doing curves, made it there 4 times last week. I should be able to go 5 days this week. When I don't make it to curves I am hitting the treadmill for 30 minutes.

I am seeing my shrink again tomorrow. Based on this next session, I might just tell him that I am going to stop going. Maybe come back again when I am on a down-turn and really need to analyze. It just seems a waste when I am doing so good and I attribute very little of my current success to him.

JML - I am so excited for you!! How great it must be to be so close to your goal. How tall are you? As you near your goal, do you still think that 145 is a good goal weight?

M'Chelle - Chocolate covered strawberries are my absolute favorite!! YUM!!!! And I have no idea where you found the strength to pass up krispy kremes. Regular doughnuts - no problem. Krispy kremes - I'd be chowing down!!! And garlic bread! OMG!! You rock for passing that up too!!!

Goddess - You crack me up!! The Ying and Yang of dieting!! :D Girlfriend you had better just jump up here on the wagon with me because I am in for the long haul this time. Let's show them who's boss!! Monday is a great day to get started!! You with me? Or do I have to come to California myself and get you started?? (Please say California...it's really cold here in Indiana!)

Dana - I got a very quick note from Jennifer saying that all is well, and things are just crazy right now and she'll check in soon. So not to worry. Good job on your yoga!! Sounds like you are really enjoying it!!

SAPF - Glad to hear that you are having a good week and that things went well @ the doc.

Jen - I know all too well what you mean about sick kids and them being unpredicatble. When I stay home - he's fine, when I take him to daycare, I get called home!!! Is Drake feeling better?

Angi - Good luck this Thursday! Wow - it really seems like everything is coming together!!! heee - so exciting!!!

Denise - You gift to your husband sounds like such a great gift!! Steve & I are at the point where we usually tell each other what we want!

Kayla - Thanks!! This is the most effort that I have put into my weight loss in a long time!! Good luck with your new job on Monday!! Did you get your schoolwork all caught up? Good job on not having any cake!!

Let's have a good week everyone!!! :)

Stay OP and let's move our butts!! :jig:

02-17-2003, 09:29 AM
Hi Jacob's Mommy,

I'm 5',9" and 157 pounds - down from 250. Yes, I still think I need to get down to 145 because I still have more fat than I want. I dress well so others don't see it, but I know it's there. I'm getting comments now that I've lost it all, and people are surprised that I'm going for a bit more. I know I look pretty good now. I should get another picture taken to post. I still have "fat days," and still in general feel a little fat - not much, just a little. So, I'm still going to keep 145 as my goal.

I may get there at a snail's pace however. I'm in an increased eating mode. I've been going out to dinner a few times - and friendship, good food (larger richer meals), and a little wine on the weekend has been turning into a little extra sweet stuff here, a little extra sweet stuff there all through the week. I feel like treating myself -- but all the time. Between this and it being too cold and yucky to walk, I'm not losing. I need to get back in the ballgame. I'm very aware that I will always have to watch what I eat. Once a compulsive eater, I believe you'll always have the tendency even if you can go a long time without it showing itself. I see it as a psychological issue with a physical component. I know I CAN treat myself now and then and be fine, but I have to watch the amounts. Even if I were at 145, I would be careful with what I ate because I want to maintain.

When I find myself eating more, I ask myself "Why?" Sometimes it's because I'm feeling an emotion - anger, sadness, joy, excitement. I think that's what's happening here. I've been having a GREAT time the past few weeks. I'm happy, enjoying myself, and food has always been a way for me to celebrate. So, instead of finding other ways to express my joy, I've been eating. But, you know, my back is feeling better, not healed, but better, my hands are improved, I feel pretty, thinner, got my hair and eyebrows done, new outfits, have been reunited with a girlfriend from college, have been in touch with other good friends (warms the heart), and have met a nice guy who's been taking me out to movies and dinner lately. So, what's my response? Eating of course. It would be better to simply express my enjoyment. Hopefully, since I've got this out, I'll be more aware of what I'm eating and why during this week.

Happy losing, everyone!!!!!

02-17-2003, 11:06 AM
Hey everyone. :) Just wanted to pop in & say hi. I start my new job today, so I have no idea how much I'll be able to be around. My former job could be slow at times, so I could pop in a couple times during the day. Don't know how it's going to work in the new position. But I will at the very least check in in the evenings. You can't get rid of me that easily :)

Had a pretty good Valentine's Day... well, not good food-wise, but good otherwise. Dh & I went out to eat at this little hole-in-the-wall pizza place & then went to a special couple's night at a paint your own pottery place. We had so much fun. Our mugs we painted for each other will be done on Friday. I can't wait to see how they turned out :)

JML - I am so, so excited for you!!! :D You're wearing a size SMALL!!!!! That is FANTASTIC!!! :D :D

Sandi - Did I get caught up on schoolwork? No, not really. I'm such a procrastinator!!! :lol: But, I did make a good dent in it! I still have a week, so I'll be doing a lot of work this week & weekend.

Jen - Hope your little one is feeling better soon!

M'Chelle - chocolate covered strawberries... YUM!!! I'm drooling right now! Sounds like you had a good Valentine's Day :)

Everyone else - I'm running out of time, but I have been reading & I'm thinking of you all. Hope you have a wonderful day :D

02-17-2003, 11:11 AM
Hi all. Drake is better. thanks. I'm at work today and daycare hasn't called yet but it is still early knock on wood. I haven't been at work in almost 2 weeks, it feels kind of strange but it unfortunately too easy to get back into the groove.

Nothing new on the weight loss arena. I was feeling a bit depressed last week after I got on the scale and it hadn't budged but I know realistically that it takes time.

Sounds like everyone is staying positive which is great. Take care.

Goddess Jessica
02-17-2003, 01:45 PM
Sandi- Come to California anyway! This weekend, I had all the windows open while I cleaned the house.

I'm very determined to jump back on this wagon. This weekend we did a sort of Spring Cleaning. I realized the stress of coming home to the dirtiest house in the world was driving me to do things like skip exercise and go out to eat. So, we (that means My Cut Boyfriend and I... he actually helped!) cleaned like crazy people. I even rearranged the living room furniture and I love it!

I also had a great talk with the Cute Boyfriend about me staying on track. It was a good talk.

So, today is a new day. I haven't got any exercise in yet but I've got to learn that doesn't mean I've blown it for the day and I should eat whatever I want.

02-18-2003, 01:02 AM
Hello all,

I am not even going to start with individual replies right now. i am sitting here a little down. I had an OK weekend. My kids dad was to take them and of course 3rd week in a row excuse number one came up. I have to work and had no way of picking them up. So I tried to make the weekend as good as it could be for my son. Friday night we rented movies and spent the evening watching movies. Saturday we went to the mall and they had a Little Buckeroos Rodeo free of charge and the kids each got a free ticket to the rodeo Saturday night. He was so cute in the events. The first one was a roping one. I could not beleive it never held a rope in his life and he had good form. Then there was the barrel races and he did good at that too. The last was teh bucking bronco and that was so cute. They gave each kid a stick horse and they had to make it buck around like a real bucking horse would do. He had fun then that night we went to the rodeo and I was depressed. I came to a realization about my relationship with there dad that I didn't realize I had done but yet I knew. I always came up with excuses not to do things like go to the rodeo, go to a movie. ect. I was pushing him away. I wish I could take that time back. Sunday my son complained his ears hurt and didn't want to do anything. Today I didn't go to work because our systems were down and the server is in the east that we connect to and noone was in to fix it. Then my ex came over because I wanted to talk to him. It was a real good visit. I told him I wish we could start over again but I know he moved on and I need to also. I also apoligized for pushing him away I just wish he could have talked to me about it. But it is in the past and now is time to move on. I still don't want to move on. Before he left he gave me a hug and he let me cry on his shoulder for a minute before he left. I really miss him I hate to say that. God it's been 6 months since this happened and I am now hurting as bad again. Will it ever go away. Thanks for letting me vent. I think that has been the only time I have gotten on again. Thanks for the support.again.

02-18-2003, 08:50 AM
Tamara - it's so good to hear from you. You really are going through a rough time. And yes, maybe there are some things you could have done differently. We all have those things. But please do not shoulder all the blame for your dh's behaviors. As you said, he could have talked to you about it. He could have chosen to work on your marriage for your child's sake instead of behaving as badly as he did. I do feel so for your son and I think you are doing what YOU can to help him. Hopefully, your husband will be able to wake up to that need too.

Please don't pound on yourself. It's only natural you would have some down times in your situation. It was good you had a nice visit and were able to talk with H. But please forgive yourself for any things you only now understand you could have done differently and, while it would be nice to eventually forgive him as well, don't give him a free pass.

Let us hear from you whenever you have a chance. We care.

02-18-2003, 02:10 PM
I just realized something about myself that probably contributes to my compulsive overeating.

I am either in "wallow in sadness" mode or "Stop being a baby and suck it up" mode. I don't think either is helping me deal with my emotions and as a result my eating to manage them.

Here's what happened over the weekend - a friend told me she is pregnant. Now, DH and I have made the decision to stop trying and I am on BC, so it doesn't make a lot of sense for this to bother me. But, I was very sad about it. I've heard about this infertility grieving but didn't think I would feel it since we made the decision to stop the treatments pretty early in the process.

Anyway, I guess I have some unresolved feelings about it.

So, I've been sort of wallowing in it for a few days.

I want to learn how to allow myself to feel things without just being undone by my sadness.

I did overeat some, but not too much, so I am pleased with not just letting it all go. I am back on track today and determined to get this weight thing going.

Thanks for listening.

02-18-2003, 02:34 PM
Jeanne: Sounds like a makeover of sorts! That's always fun!

Jessica: You & the Cute Boyfriend aren't by any chance for hire, are you? :lol: My apt needs a good Spring Cleaning.

Tamara: *hugs* At least you're able to get these things out into the open, that's what's important. Divorce is a big journey in self exploration, my best friend is going though it too & she learns something new about herself every day. You will get through this.

Angi: *hugs for you, too* I read a book about adoption (The Kid by Dan Savage), and he said @ the first seminar they went to for the adoption, they were told about grieving for their infertility, and he had never really thought about that before, as he & his lifepartner had no other alternatives. Glad to hear you're back on track. Mondays really bite sometimes.

02-21-2003, 12:41 AM
We successfully finished the 2nd Homestudy visit for our adoption!


I think it went really well, but we'll know in a few weeks if we 'passed.'

then I'll start decorating the nursery. . .



02-21-2003, 10:05 PM
Congrats Angi. I hope all went well for you and your hubby. I can see that baby in your arms now. ;)

I am doing good kind of. My dear old ex did it to the kids again. I was to take them to his house. I called to make sure everything was OK and he was home to get them and guess what. He volenteered to work again so he said he would not be able to be with the kids this weekend. Here I am with plans because my kids would be gone and he screws everything up. I guess I will have to ask grandma to babysit while i go out and have some fun. take care all.

02-22-2003, 06:14 PM
Angi, I'm sorry hearing your friends news upset you, it's O.k to be upset and perfectly normal. Your not taking anything away from her, it's just really hard to hear someone get something so easy when it alluds you for so long. I don't really understand why your on B.C? I guess it's so you don't get dissapointed every month. Can't you just not worry about and say you've given up but not take B.C? If your not expecting anything to happen it might not be so bad when it doesn't. The only reason I suggest this is if your on the pill or any of those hormone B.C's They can make it really hard to lose weight as well as make your emotions rollercoaster. I gave up taking the pill as I would always cry every month and get depressed. Now I barely get PMT. Anyway I'm so glad to hear your second interview went well. I just know you'll pass, any child would be truly blessed to have you as a mom.
Well as for me I've been exercising like crazy lately, walking, gardening, and cleaning. My weight loss has slowed but I had a couple of slips, just get back into it the next day, that's all I can do. I have noticed I'm getting more toned and seem to have less body fat so maybe what they say about muscle weighing more then fat is true. Even if the scales isn't doing much I'm still losing inches and that's what counts. Dh and I went to the most pathetic car swap meet yesterday, bout the only good thing about it was I walked for 4 hours. Nothing but overpriced rusty junk and yobbo men staring at my chest, very lowbrow. There were various junkfood stands and the smell of chips was ever present. Why is it at these kinda things you can never buy sandwhiches or fruit or any normal food? Donuts, chips or hotdogs was all they had. Well I was strong and refused to give in and ended up having no lunch at all. I sipped on my bottled water and thought of all those cals I was burning walking round and round. Was cloudy so didnt think I'd need sunscreen - WRONG! I am burnt to a crisp now. Oh well never again :D


02-23-2003, 12:56 PM
angi...I'm glad your second home visit went well! It's perfectly okay for you to feel the way you feel about friend's pregnancy. It was probably hard for her to tell you, too. I worked with a woman who had been trying to get pregnant for three years when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I was so afraid to tell the office because I knew she would be hurt!

02-23-2003, 03:50 PM
Thanks everyone for your kind words.

Kitty, I'm on BC because of some other health problems I have. It helps with those, and I'm also on some harsh meds that would be bad for a fetus. When we decided to adopt, we had to make a forever decision about it.

Tamara, I'm sorry your ex is doing that to your kids. My husband has memories of waiting outside of school over and over again for a dad that didn't show. It makes me mad to hear it happening to other precious children!