I am very scared. Losing weight (and maintaining) is going to be a life long battle but I feel like I'm losing my will to do this.
Earlier in the year I was at a very solid 130 but I've had a very difficult past couple of months. Due to personal issues I started eating a lot more than I normally would. I wasn't even hungry. I was just eating because I was sad. As a result I've put on 12lbs. I always hear about how obese people lose weight and then gain it all back (plus more!). I'm really scared that this is the road I'm headed down.
Although I'm not back at 200+, I find that I really dislike being back in the 140s. It's terribly uncomfortable now that I know what the 130s feel like. The thought of potentially gaining even more weight back is completely mortifying. And yet it's like I've lost control. I know what I need to do in order to lose weight but I've lost the will to fight this fight because I'm so profoundly sad right now.
I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. Have you been able to find anything that helps you deal with your sadness, like books on grief or counseling? Are there any easy choices/baby steps that you could make to restart your healthy eating habits? Maybe not even things that will help you lose weight, but that will at least help you stay where you are or slow your rate of regain until you can deal with things better? Are you exercising? It's not a panacea, of course, but it seems to help a lot of people deal with "negative" emotions.
You are not "obese people" you are you. You get to choose your actions and what your hands and feet do and what you put in your mouth. Just because other people do something doesn't mean you are destined to do that do.
Get back on track today. Stop and breathe. Make a plan. Set a goal and work that plan one day at a time to get to your goal.
You are not "obese people" you are you. You get to choose your actions and what your hands and feet do and what you put in your mouth. Just because other people do something doesn't mean you are destined to do that do.
Get back on track today. Stop and breathe. Make a plan. Set a goal and work that plan one day at a time to get to your goal.
Be kind to you, yes you gained some back but you have a choice NOW on what you want to do. It's not destined that your going to get back up to 200, it's your choice on what you want to do right now!
Look how amazing you have done. You have the strength INSIDE of you cause you've done it before. Find new ways to cope with your sadness, google it, research it, go to the library read up on it, go for a run, make a choice now to handle it differently than you have in the past. Cause you KNOW which road will lead you to your goal and which road will lead you back to the 200's. You can do this, YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS. So pat yourself on the back for recognizing NOW what you are doing. You are noticing how you cope with sadness. THIS IS GREAT! Now that you are aware that you are eating cause you are sad, you can now CHANGE that and never have to look back. Be thankful that you are aware of it now You are doing awesome, don't let a little set back turn into a bigger setback, make the choice now and change it, you have it in you or you would have never hit the 130's before, you can do it again! This time with more awareness!
If you're feeling so profoundly sad, maybe it's time for you to consider a little bit of help, like an antidepressant.
I don't want to undermine your pain. The best way to handle sadness and pain are just to get through it. I've been there. Sometimes though, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of help through chemistry.
I was having a really hard time where I just felt like I couldn't control the sadness. It went on for awhile, and I didn't want to be reduced to a puddle of tears at random times for random reasons, especially at work. I started taking a supplement called 5HTP, which is the precursor for serotonin, the feel good neurotransmitter. It really worked well for me! Later I learned that it can help in weight loss. I can see why. Part of why some people are fat is the good feeling we get from food. If we have nice levels of serotonin, it could help with the food issues.
Well, that's just an idea. I'm thinking about the 140s and how I wish I was there! 140s is awesome! But hey, I get it. You're ideal weight is in the teens, so that's a pretty big gain for you....
It is a life long battle and the idea of fighting this battle for a lifetime is daunting. I know, I've been there done that, and I think many of us have. We lose, we gain, and we lose again. The key is doing what you're doing right now, and that's recognizing what's going on and getting back to it, before you get all the way back to where you were, and then some! You've come so far! You can do it! You can learn from this and keep it off. It will be a lifelong commitment, but I've heard it said that it gets easier over time.
I'm struggling to maintain the healthy changes I've made and reverting to old behaviours. It is going to be a lifelong battle for me as a food addict to fight this. I have to do it, but maybe we both need some help?
TO YOU, DEAR ~ I don't know the cause of your sadness, but if it is a kind of grief, or depression (which is prolonged sadness), and has been going on for more than 3 months, you should seek some help: by the way of counselling and/ see your doctor too.
You can try some distraction techniques to see if they help a bit -- I like to read, do puzzles, sing, play the piano, games, talk, journal, and write, etc. How can you bring some more joy into your life? Get out and spend time with family & friends; doing fun things together; maybe watch some funny movies, etc.
You have done very well up until now; so you know how to eat healthy. Getting back on track is a process of steps; one-at-a-time. Take the first one now: which is decision; then committment; then action ... plus keep coming back here for support ...
EDIT TO ADD: just start with one snack, or one meal, or one day at-a-time: mini-goals (thanks CHLOE); even if you make a mistake, just keep on going ... and get the junk out of your house!
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 11-25-2011 at 10:59 PM.
I'm sorry you're feeling sad. I agree with previous poster that at some point you might want to think about taking something. I think a couple of months is a pretty long time to feel consistently down.
I've been having the same sorts of feelings/fears about my weight, though I am in a whole 'nother weight range. When I got down to 173, I felt so thin most of the time (and then sometimes I would realize that 173 is actually pretty darned fat if you're 5'0"). But now I've gained back 15 pounds and I am feeling SO FAT. Like, I feel that really cruddy feeling where every time I move I feel how fat I am. I have been been heavier than this without feeling so yucky about it, but now that I have tasted what it's like to be lower... well, I don't like being this heavy!
Anyhow, last week I was freaking out because I had my b'day (monday) and thanksgiving looming ahead of me. I was planning on making a great t'giving dinner for hubby and kids and really looking forward to it. I promised myself that I would get back on a good eating jag as soon as t'giving was over, but as you can imagine I have made those promises before. I have to say though, that that fear is pretty motivating to me (at least sometimes), and getting back on a good eating plan is such a relief when you've been feeling fat and scared about it. I did start right back in yesterday and I feel so much better emotionally and physically. Instead of having this big hard thing looming ahead of me, I'm in it and it's not really that bad. I would love to eat something yummy, but I'm already enjoying the benefits of sticking to my plan. I'm .8 pounds lighter but I feel a huge weight lifted, iykwim.
I wonder if your mood would improve if you got back on your plan. Mine always does, but that may be because I do a ketogenic diet. I'm not sure if other plans have this same effect or not...
Btw, it's not everyday I see someone who was in the same height/weight range as me. I'm curious about how you felt at 130 and whether after getting there you felt like 111 was still sensible. I set 114 as my goal, so pretty close, but when I was younger I felt pretty good at 135 and great at 130. I was always softish, but I had a nice shape and wore it well. I felt attractive and energetic and comfortable with my body at 130. Otoh, if I was into women, they would not be stick thin. lol I'm so curious to see how I feel at 130 and 114. I hope I make it there!
You only fail if you quit. It is a choice. Choose to continue to reach out here or professionally for help and support. As an earlier poster noted, you are You, not 'those people". Hugs!
Those of you suggesting I seek help for my sadness are right. I have struggled with trauma and anxiety issues for many years and I was seeing a therapist. I had to stop temporarily because I moved to a different town. I will likely go back in January when I move back to my old town but until then I'm on my own. See what happened is I got a higher paying job that it turns out I absolutely despise. I know I should be thankful that I have a job at all but I left behind my friends and my home for something that I ended up hating. So between my horrible job and my homesickness, it's hard to remember to keep fighting the weight gain.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justwant2Bhealthy
You can try some distraction techniques to see if they help a bit -- I like to read, do puzzles, sing, play the piano, games, talk, journal, and write, etc. How can you bring some more joy into your life? Get out and spend time with family & friends; doing fun things together; maybe watch some funny movies, etc.
It's been hard to keep distracted. I'm so drained and miserable from work that when I get home all I want to do is lie down under the covers and cry. There's a special little draft horse filly on the farm I live at who is helping me a lot though. Being able to take care of her has been the one bright spot of these past couple of months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubidoux
Btw, it's not everyday I see someone who was in the same height/weight range as me. I'm curious about how you felt at 130 and whether after getting there you felt like 111 was still sensible. I set 114 as my goal, so pretty close, but when I was younger I felt pretty good at 135 and great at 130. I was always softish, but I had a nice shape and wore it well. I felt attractive and energetic and comfortable with my body at 130. Otoh, if I was into women, they would not be stick thin. lol I'm so curious to see how I feel at 130 and 114. I hope I make it there!
Having a weight problem is difficult for anyone but I think there are some unique factors involved in being overweight at our height. Personally I loved being at 130. I felt so bony (compared to at 200 anyway). It was wonderful. I've been overweight/obese my whole life so I hadn't been at the 130s since I was probably 10 or 11. Even though I still looked pretty obviously overweight I was thinking that if I were to never lose another pound that I'd still feel okay at 130. I think I will look a lot better at 111 though. I wish you the best of luck. Even getting down to the 150s/140s will be so worth it.
Terrified
You are doing awesome, don't let a little set back turn into a bigger setback, make the choice now and change it, you have it in you or you would have never hit the 130's before, you can do it again! This time with more awareness! 
