Weight Loss Support - I can't have it all....




View Full Version : I can't have it all....


free1
11-17-2011, 03:37 PM
EPIPHANY....

Over the last couple of days, I've been reminding myself of something that should be a no-brainer....I CAN'T HAVE IT ALL!!!!

I know this is simple but I have to remind myself, I can't eat anything I want and have a healthy body/weight at the same time. I can't eat a row of oreos AND lose 2 pounds a week. I can't have Chinese food with pizza everyday and reach my size 10-12 goal. I can't eat chips with chocolate AND also expect to look better in my swimsuit for vacation.

We hear stories of people who can, people who could eat an entire Dairy Queen and never gain weight, people who can eat 1 cookie and walk away.....I CAN'T so I have to make a choice. I allow myself to indulge on anything I want within my calorie limits but I can't eat ALL that I want. I can't have the entire cake and get to a size 10 too....

For some reason, this means something to me now. I have to make a choice. It's either moderation or my size 24s again. I can call it unfair, call it cruel, call it a cruel joke....it's still true. I CAN'T HAVE IT ALL and today I choose HEALTH.


Mimzzy
11-17-2011, 04:08 PM
Im with you! Last week I was snacking more then usual, not necessarily bad things but things I definitely didn't really need to be eating. I was letting "loose" a little on my calorie control and maybe even slacking off in the work out department.

I actually found myself wondering "Why am I not losing weight? Why can't I break through the 140s and hit 139?" One day I was thinking about snacking and said to myself "THIS is EXACTLY why I haven't been losing lately, What am I doing?!"

I have gained my control back and am working toward breaking out of the 140's! I choose health too!

lin43
11-17-2011, 04:13 PM
I know what you mean about that being an "obvious epiphany"---although it seems like an oxymoron. I, too, came to that realization back in June when I started this. It's odd, but for some reason, that reality had never sunk in before, which is why I think I could never take the weight off. I calorie count, and I allow myself treats in moderation. I have to be careful, though, because it's easy to slip into eating too much of that kind of thing and be back where I started. I won't let that happen this time around.


popspry
11-17-2011, 04:16 PM
I had an epiphany a while ago that is similar - I didn't even realize I was doing it but I was having bad things too often because I could (calorie counter) so even though I was in my calorie-range, I wasn't losing what I thought I should be. The combination of upping my veggie intake and decreasing my sugar intake has led to some great progress. The thing is, I didn't even notice I had started slipping.

sontaikle
11-17-2011, 04:33 PM
I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the days where I used to be carefree about what I ate. What I DON'T miss is the horrible feelings that came after eating large amounts of food. I didn't enjoy feeling bloated, lethargic and sick.

That epiphany you just had is very important! It's a big step toward your ultimate goal :)

However, there are actually very few people who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. The majority of those folks who we see seemingly eating everything in sight really aren't able to eat massive amounts of food without consequence. Unless you straight up ask them you don't know what they've eaten that day until they've gotten to the meal you see them eating.

I always thought my fiancee was like that since he's relatively thin without much effort on his part. While I'm sure good genetics come into play, it wasn't until I really listened to him that I realized he wasn't eating everything in sight, he was practicing portion control without realizing.

He's 6'3" so he can already eat more than the average person without gaining weight, but I came to realize that he wasn't one of those "eat whatever" people when he came over and we had pizza one day. He ate four slices but told me he was starving because he hadn't eaten all day.

So I thought about it and realized that this occurred more often than not.

Depending on the size of the pizza, it can vary in the calories, but I think an average size slice from a New York Pizzera probably doesn't come out to more than 350 calories (and that's a higher estimate... looking up the info puts a lot of slices at under 300) If he had four slices, that's 1400 calories. That's LESS than he should be eating to maintain his healthy weight. Not the most nutritious meal out there, but calorie wise he's still under. Even if we really put the estimate at the high end of 500 calories a slice, he would be eating 2000 calories. Probably still on the low side for a man his size.

In exploring the eating habits of some of my friends who are like my fiancee, I realized that they are much in the same. They don't generally eat the healthiest things, but they eat the right amount without even realizing it. I wonder if it was their upbringing or if they're genetically coded to better decide what a proper portion is (or perhaps a bit of both).

Moondance
11-17-2011, 04:52 PM
Thank you for this timely reminder. As the holiday's approach, we find ourselves indulging in one bite here, another there, thinking "Look how well I'm doing, I'm not gorging on this stuff". But it still adds up in the end. You can say no this time, because there is ALWAYS next time. Maybe then you'll say yes. Or maybe not....

popspry
11-17-2011, 04:57 PM
My brother can eat whatever and not gain weight, but he's naturally more physically active than I am and I'm sure that's why out of my 3 siblings he's the skinny one. My mom is skinny too, and while less active than my brother, tough she's into running now, she can eat a peice of cake and not say, "ok, 1 is enough", she has no desire for more, it really is enough for her. Neither of them tries to thin, it is pretty easy for them.

Interesting, I find it easier to stop at 1 slice of pie or cake than say a cupcake which can seem like one more won't hurt.

PreciousMissy
11-17-2011, 05:21 PM
I allow myself to indulge on anything I want within my calorie limits but I can't eat ALL that I want.

Yup...it took me a while to really get this concept. For me it was a "duh" moment haha! Yup, I can have a cookie...nope, I can't have a dozen cookies. Besides, #12 doesn't taste any better than #1 did, lol.

free1
11-17-2011, 05:37 PM
PreciousMissy....Love it. 12 tastes no better than # 1!

Beach Patrol
11-18-2011, 11:17 AM
"I can have anything I want
but I can't have everything I want"

words to live by! :D

Jessica Committed
11-18-2011, 11:45 AM
I really needed this reminder today. My biggest vice is red wine, and I just cannot have it all the time if I want to reduce my weight. I'll be subbing out a glass of wine for a glass of water and a neck rub from the bf tonight. Thanks!!!

lin43
11-18-2011, 11:54 AM
I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the days where I used to be carefree about what I ate. What I DON'T miss is the horrible feelings that came after eating large amounts of food. I didn't enjoy feeling bloated, lethargic and sick.

That epiphany you just had is very important! It's a big step toward your ultimate goal :)

However, there are actually very few people who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. The majority of those folks who we see seemingly eating everything in sight really aren't able to eat massive amounts of food without consequence. Unless you straight up ask them you don't know what they've eaten that day until they've gotten to the meal you see them eating.

I always thought my fiancee was like that since he's relatively thin without much effort on his part. While I'm sure good genetics come into play, it wasn't until I really listened to him that I realized he wasn't eating everything in sight, he was practicing portion control without realizing.

He's 6'3" so he can already eat more than the average person without gaining weight, but I came to realize that he wasn't one of those "eat whatever" people when he came over and we had pizza one day. He ate four slices but told me he was starving because he hadn't eaten all day.

So I thought about it and realized that this occurred more often than not.

Depending on the size of the pizza, it can vary in the calories, but I think an average size slice from a New York Pizzera probably doesn't come out to more than 350 calories (and that's a higher estimate... looking up the info puts a lot of slices at under 300) If he had four slices, that's 1400 calories. That's LESS than he should be eating to maintain his healthy weight. Not the most nutritious meal out there, but calorie wise he's still under. Even if we really put the estimate at the high end of 500 calories a slice, he would be eating 2000 calories. Probably still on the low side for a man his size.

In exploring the eating habits of some of my friends who are like my fiancee, I realized that they are much in the same. They don't generally eat the healthiest things, but they eat the right amount without even realizing it. I wonder if it was their upbringing or if they're genetically coded to better decide what a proper portion is (or perhaps a bit of both).


I could have written most of your post. My husband is one of those "naturally thin" people who can supposedly eat "anything they want." However, I realized soon after we married that he rarely snacks, and he usually only eats two meals a day (breakfast & dinner) because he just forgets to eat or doesn't want to bothered making anything.

The big difference I've noticed between "naturally thin" people and me is in the brain: I focus on food much more than they do. For instance, in my "fat" days, if I wanted some particular food, the inconvenience of getting it would not deter me. So, at 10 p.m. if I got a hankering for Ben & Jerry's I would go out & buy it. My husband would never do that.

I disagree about the calorie counts for the pizza, though. Most local pizzerias make bigger size slices than Pizza Hut, for example. If you take the average NY style pizza, one slice could easily amount to 600-1000 calories (depending on the topping). I remember reading a New York Times article about people underestimating the calories of pizza. I don't have the link, though. Even Domino's Brooklyn style pizza is about 600-750 calories a slice if I remember correctly (I don't like Domino's but I remember looking it up at one point).

sontaikle
11-18-2011, 12:18 PM
I could have written most of your post. My husband is one of those "naturally thin" people who can supposedly eat "anything they want." However, I realized soon after we married that he rarely snacks, and he usually only eats two meals a day (breakfast & dinner) because he just forgets to eat or doesn't want to bothered making anything.

Yeah my fiancee is like that too. He suddenly wonders why he's starving and then remembers he forgot to eat a meal or something like that. Then I'm giving him half of my meal because he finished his and is still ravenous :joker:

Luckily for him whenever we go out to eat I only make sure to eat half the meal anyway. I WOULD like leftovers...but he usually gobbles up what I would take home.

When he pays, I don't care...but when I pay, I make him order something else :p

I disagree about the calorie counts for the pizza, though. Most local pizzerias make bigger size slices than Pizza Hut, for example. If you take the average NY style pizza, one slice could easily amount to 600-1000 calories (depending on the topping). I remember reading a New York Times article about people underestimating the calories of pizza. I don't have the link, though. Even Domino's Brooklyn style pizza is about 600-750 calories a slice if I remember correctly (I don't like Domino's but I remember looking it up at one point).

eeehhh I'm inclinded to disagree. I eat pizza a lot. I love it. So I've researched it because I wanted my pizza and I wanted to make sure I wasn't overdoing it. If it really was 600 calories a slice then I wouldn't have lost weight at such a steady pace because I usually eat 2 slices and budget ~700 calories (figuring that it can be plus or minus 100 of that). Eating 1200 calories at once would put me way over my planned calorie intake since I do have other things to eat during the day.

I've read that article, but it seems that those high-calorie count pizza slices are often giant with a thick crust. Most pizza from the pizzeras around me are a decent size and not very thick.

Also Dominos pizza doesn't start getting into crazy calorie counts unless you get some of those big specialized pizzas. For the basic pizza it actually ranges at 120-230 calories a slice, depending on the size and type. Not bad, really!

Unna
11-18-2011, 12:34 PM
Love the thread.

It helped me today, as a matter of fact. I'm getting the pre-TOM munchies. I've already ate 1300 of my calories for the day (from 1700!!).

Problem is: I haven't had dinner. I also have a late night ahead of me - I'm supposed to go jogging, go to the movies, and then meet someone for a cocktail! EEK!

So, because I can't have it all, I'm going to go jogging for an hour, then drink a watered down protein shake for ca. 100 calories, then go to the movies and drink mineral water!! And the cocktail - well, it will only be one that I will drink very very slowly!

It always stinks to eat your calories early in the day! But I can't keep up my 12 lbs loss if I decide to have the nice dinner, the soda, the 3 sugary drinks, unfortunately. Such an easy lesson that I also feel like I'm still learning.

sontaikle: Anyway, regarding the calories of the pizza slice, the only way you'll find out how many calories it has is not by estimating the size with your eye and online calories. According to Pizza Hut, which is known for its fattier style, 1g of pizza has 3 calories. A small slice is 100g = 300 cal. So, a large greasy new york style slice is probably about 200g = 600 cal.

But yeah, every slice is going to be cut a bit differently, so weighing is optimal. If the pizza is on the healthy, thin crust side (not oozing with cheese and peperoni), then count 2.5 cal. per 1 gram.

My best calorie counting friend is my digital scale. It takes all the guessing away.

So, your boyfriend probably ate ca. 2500 - 2600 cal. that day (maybe he had soda or coffee or a beer,etc) - which still is a good maintenance number for a 6'3" man.

My boyfriend is the same way. He'll come home and drink two big beers and eat a bag of chips = 1000 cal. But, his breakfast, lunch, and dinner were maybe 1200 cal. at best, and then he went jogging for an hour (he weighs around 155lbs and is 5'10").

sontaikle
11-18-2011, 12:39 PM
Those giant slices are nuts, really. If I eat one of those...well I'm only going to eat one because I'll get full. :] I also eat the less cheesy ones. I love me some chunky tomato sauce on my pizza!

The slices we have aren't that big at all. Wish I had a food scale though, I would love to weigh.

I sort of go between a Pizza hut slice (small) and a Sbarro's slice (huge). Sbarro's is 500 cal. The ones I eat are somewhere in between that.

Edit: I guess even if I'm off that it doesn't matter much :O. Apparently doing what I'm doing is working so...I just keep doing it? Oh well :joker: As long as I don't eat pizza every day I guess I'm fine :)

sept15lija
11-18-2011, 01:16 PM
I completely agree!! And the fact is, that most people can't have it all and expect to stay in a healthy weight range. It is the rare person who can eat whatever they want. So you don't need to feel alone in this! :D And I choose health too!