General chatter - Does anyone else have Facebook picture "issues" or am I a little crazy? :)




Rebecca8
10-24-2011, 02:15 PM
When I joined Facebook a few years ago, I put up some relatively recent pics, in which I was several pounds thinner than I was at the time, but not too much of a difference. Hey, I was planning on getting the weight off.

Well, who knew I'd just be eating for the next few years? :P

I don't live near my hometown anymore, or near where I went to college, so there is no chance of really running into anyone who hasn't seen me in years and doesn't know I gained a ton. But now, thanks to Facebook, they think I look just great.

So anyway, I'm completely freaked out that one of my friends where I live now will tag me in a picture and the jig will be up! :O I finally started to get serious about weight loss, so I know I'll look better soon, but in the meantime I am freaked the heck out! I'll go out with friends, and they're just snapping pics like crazy! I've asked my friends please not to tag me. It's embarassing, but they understand and most comply. A couple others of them just insist and will tag me and I have to keep checking my phone constantly throughout an evening out so I can untag myself at a moment's notice. I've actually avoided parties where I know friends who do that will be there! Now, that's crazy!

When I'm in my hometown to visit family, I live in fear that I will run into people who only see my Facebook pictures. I ran into one a while back, and you could tell she was just stunned. And NOT in a good way!

If you have similar issues, feel free to share. In the meantime, I'll work at getting the weight back off so I won't have this fear. :D


aimeebell
10-24-2011, 02:32 PM
In your settings, you can set it so photos others have tagged of you have to be approved by you before they appear in your profile. I think I would just bite the bullet and put a flattering recent photo of myself.

PreciousMissy
10-24-2011, 06:49 PM
I totally get that.

I gained my weight and was worried about what people would think if I posted pictures of the more robust me. I decided that a) those who love me wouldn't judge and b) it would be nice to get the awkward looks out of the way before I saw them in person.

I suggest posting one or two photos every so often. I think you'll be glad that you have before pictures, it will give you the opportunity to stop hiding yourself and to stop avoiding life because you're hiding.

It was so freeing once the first "fat" picture of me was out there for the world to see.

Don't put your life on hold waiting for something "spectacular" to happen first.


Beck
10-24-2011, 07:08 PM
I've had friends tag me in photos, and I just went ahead and untagged myself. I think there should be some etiquette rule that photos of others are not posted and tagged unless permission is given.

cbmare
10-24-2011, 07:47 PM
I'm so camera shy it is NOT funny! I don't even have wedding pics for ANY of my weddings.

I allowed myself to be photographed at my granddaughter's wedding. I got tagged in that photo and it was posted. I got so angry at my other granddaughter for not asking permission. I untagged myself and now refuse to be in any pics with my grands or great granddaughter because I don't trust anyone to NOT tag me or to ask BEFORE posting a pic.

You can always delete the pic of you. You are not required to post a pic of yourself.

sheramama
10-24-2011, 08:11 PM
I always untag myself too...I hate fat pics! The reason I didn't get Fb until recently was bc people who didn't know I blew up would see me now. Ahhh! But, it is the kick I needed to start losing so maybe I should thank it.

EagleRiverDee
10-24-2011, 08:41 PM
Someone already pointed this out, but I'll say it, too: Facebook settings allow you to only be tagged if you approve it. That's the setting I use.

But I also think you should probably just put up a recent photo that you like of yourself. I think everyone has that really great photo of when they were younger/skinnier or whatever but if you aren't that person any more then embrace who you are. When I put up a recent pic, I did have one person make a comment that they "barely recognized me" but hey- if I see them in public at least they *will* recognize me. LOL.

Rebecca8
10-24-2011, 11:50 PM
Thank you all for your input. First of all, thank you for helping me see that I am not alone. Secondly, thank you for helping me understand that it's stupid to hide. So...a compromise. If I lose at least 30 pounds in 2 months (a mini goal), I will wait to post a pic because I know I'lll be thin-ish within a year. If I don't reach that amount, I'll post a flattering current pic.

Madame Souza
10-25-2011, 12:39 AM
I used to be ashamed about facebook photos and didn't want any posted of me. Then I just decided to do it. It was so liberating and free. I post a few pics now and then and it feels good. The next one is going to be in my halloween costume.
I like your idea about posting as a mini goal. You can do it and give your self time to work up the courage. You will feel better, be empowered and more in control then being scared that someone will post one of you.

RubyFruit
10-28-2011, 01:17 AM
If you have similar issues, feel free to share. In the meantime, I'll work at getting the weight back off so I won't have this fear. :D

I am not a big face book fan.
I have an account but only because my friend asked me and would not stop harassing. I never go on there and the last time I logged on was a a year or two...

I have a friend who is on face book 24/7 and she is always checking on and posting pictures.

When we go out she will take a million pictures. And, I told her I do not wish to be on her page and to not put any pictures where I am present. She assumed I was joking and then realized I was not - and I was not the only one from our group who objected to the pic taking and then uploading them to her fb account.

She now knows and if I were you I will say "No" .... you have a right to say no to pics being uploaded without your approve.

crimsons
10-28-2011, 01:31 AM
You can put up what you darn well please! I don't post any chunkier pics, but that's just me. Also -- and this isn't regarding weight but privacy -- it's wise to think hard about whatever you put up there. I realized that I not only had photos of my little nephew, but also of my car complete with license plate and some indication of my home's location. Employers are increasingly looking at your FB page, and FB does seem to constantly change the privacy settings. I have several books out, so I kind of have to maintain a FB presence.

Here's the worst one. Someone successfully sued me last year for something I'd posted on FB -- except I hadn't. Know how those ads show up on the right column for things that may interest you or your friends? I had nothing to do with it and the guy sued me for six figures -- and got five (if he can find it LOL)! The judge and attorneys weren't computer literate and didn't get it.

So you're wise to be thoughtful about this.

cbmare
10-28-2011, 03:31 PM
Here's the worst one. Someone successfully sued me last year for something I'd posted on FB -- except I hadn't. Know how those ads show up on the right column for things that may interest you or your friends? I had nothing to do with it and the guy sued me for six figures -- and got five (if he can find it LOL)! The judge and attorneys weren't computer literate and didn't get it.

So you're wise to be thoughtful about this.

Now that is frightening! Kona Fabrics contacted me to be a fan of theirs. I asked them how they got me and they responded that it was "suggested" to them. I did become a fan because I'm a fabriholic (aka quilter, embroidery nut, etc).

I'd be interested in knowing how some guy who sees something like that can sue you. That scares me.

Can you appeal?

Wildflower
10-28-2011, 06:10 PM
I don't allow friends to see the pictures I am tagged in. It's a setting choice. It gets rid of that link under your picture so no one can go through them. It also changes the pictures they see on your wall of you.

I don't want my boss/coworkers (who insisted on being FB friends) seeing me tagged in drunken party pictures.

The only catch is, obviously friends of the friend who tagged you can see them. But they can see them if you are tagged or not, you know?

crimsons
10-28-2011, 09:28 PM
@cbmare, he was a man who'd falsified a marriage to me in order to purchase a home. We were in the news, and whatever their algorithms are picked up his name in regard to mine and posted some of his websites etc. on my page. During the trial, "someone" had posted fake profiles of me and I assume a fake on of him as it came up the same day. Fortunately my sister in law found it immediately and I got the FB legal dept to take it down the next day. I assume it was his team doing that and that it was going to be brought up in court.

The lesson here is that you could win the lottery or be left money or be in the news overnight, and there's no limit to how leeches can abuse the legal system, so just no pics gulping margaritas, etc!!! For me, I don't want to post my "big" pics as I'm halfway back down. Maybe a side-to--side when I'm back down to normal.

@Wildflower, you are absolutely right about the tagging. I get a kick out of my elementary school classes tagging, as we're all 51 now. But I've noticed that sometimes the privacy settings get changed or "unset" without me unsetting them. So I also untag myself in any photos that aren't 100% wholesome.

Esofia
10-29-2011, 06:50 AM
Unless it's something where it's very obviously you at a different stage in your life, say photos from childhood, I'm not a believer in posting photos that look absolutely nothing like you. Anyway, I took down all Facebook photos of myself after the Gay Girl in Damascus scandal in June, when poor Jelena Lecic found out that some bloke had stolen her photo from Facebook (and arguably her identity) and put it on the fake blog he'd created for a supposed Syrian lesbian. I also have no intention of putting up photos of myself on this site, I think it's a huge risk and am always astonished at how many people are happy to do it.

treasureBelle
10-29-2011, 11:07 AM
I have put photos of people on Facebook in recent years, but only with their permission.

Generally, for nights out with friends, I put them up because they ask me to.

Other people, like my aunt, I tend to ask permission. For example, I had a photo of my aunt and her children at another family member's wedding. I emailed her asking permission to put that photo on Facebook, because it's a nice photo of them, and my aunt told me to go ahead.
Although I know my aunt doesn't have a problem with it, I prefer to ask anyway, especially when there are children (eg my cousins or whoever) in them. I do know some people who fill their facebook page with photos of their babies, but I also know of others who absolutely do NOT want photos of their kids on such a public setting.