Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Fear of skinny-ugly




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ironlovehandles
10-16-2011, 09:11 PM
So I've seen the numbers on my scale go down, and my clothes are definitely fitting better. I started to look around at work to see what kind of body I was going to have soon. And I came to a HORRIBLE conclusion. Thin women are NOT necessarily pretty! Some are, of course, but there are so many women wearing clothes that don't really fit right or whose hair is from the 80s... don't pretend you don't know what I am talking about :p.
I've never been very good at knowing what looks good on me and I had assumed that it was because of the extra weight. I assumed that when I was down to my goal weight it would be easy to find clothes that fit and I would automatically stunning. I'm starting to think I've got my work cut out for me. I even bought a few fashion magazines but getting through them was HARD and I don't think I got ANYTHING out of reading them.
My question is for Maintenance Chicks - was it easier to dress yourselves once you were skinny?


bargoo
10-16-2011, 09:21 PM
Absolutely easier. The clothes are much more attractive and you can buy them in normal dress department. No more Queen Size department. no more sizes that start with XLarge, no more elastic waist band pants, no more sweat pants.

shcirerf
10-16-2011, 11:18 PM
I think it's easier, but it takes some practice.

Step out of you comfort zone and try on stuff you never would have before!


imperialistic
10-17-2011, 12:34 AM
I think we're actually talking about the skinny-can'tdressright. Yes, it's definitely easier to dress yourself. I'm spending a ridiculous amount of time on my outfits. As for fashion magazines, I stay away from them. I find them super unhelpful. I'd rather stick to fashion blogs and websites, frugal-fashionistas.com is one of my favourites.

ironlovehandles
10-17-2011, 08:34 AM
Good to know. I'm saving up for a shopping spree when I'm at my goal - maybe I should take a skinny-CAN-dress-right friend who is used to shopping for a skinny body.

willbeayummymummy
10-17-2011, 08:52 AM
I understand, what else is (im not meaning this in a horrible way or bragging) I have actually been blessed with quite a pretty face just a rubbish body...I have seen pictures of woman who were big and beautiful and once they lose weight their faces just look drawn and not as pretty, im worried this will happen to me :(

As for dressing, you will get used to it and being able to pick more clothes means you will start to get your own style.xxx

runningfromfat
10-17-2011, 09:01 AM
It doesn't hurt to start really thinking about what style you want and how that will fit with your body type. One thing that this journey has helped me to see is how much BETTER well-fitting clothes look. I'm really curvy and it makes it hard to find clothes that fit me well. I've never been able to buy button down shirts off of the rack even at my skinniest. The would always be way too big in the waist and make me look a lot bigger than I actually was.

However, I've taken this time to figure out what works well for me, brands that specialize in curvy-friendly clothes and also I've found that well-fitting bras are a must (not just in terms of appearance but they make my back a lot happier too! :lol:). I even started a blog to try and help other women with the same body type as me find clothes. ;)

I'm still not super glamorous. But it's helped immensely with my self-confidence and DH isn't complaining either. ;) When I was at my highest weight I really let myself go and put about zero effort into my appearance, I'm trying to change that now.

sontaikle
10-17-2011, 09:41 AM
I really want to go on a shopping spree when I'm at my goal weight. I really need to take some friends along though; they would be able to help me find clothes that flatter my new body. It helps that my very good friends are all fashion-oriented :joker: I just really have no idea how to dress anymore.

I've said this before elsewhere on 3FC, but I maintained my 200 pound weight for five years. In that time I learned how to dress to flatter my shape and I was always complimented on the outfits I picked out. I amassed a large amount of clothes in that time too and it was always fun to go closet shopping, find something that I hadn't worn for a while and make it new again :dizzy:

I was a pear shape back then, and I knew how to dress for it. Now I'm some sort of top-heavy hourglass shape and I'm figuring out how to properly flatter it. I'm having a lot more fun showing my new body off right now (just bought a nice, tight dress that I would have never worn before :D) but I clearly need someone to just go shopping with me and point out what I should and shouldn't wear.

lin43
10-17-2011, 12:43 PM
I think it's easier, but it takes some practice.

Step out of you comfort zone and try on stuff you never would have before!

This is great advice. I, too, am not really great at finding stunning clothes for myself (I mean, I get by and look "fine" or "nice," but not stunning). However, on the few occasions when I've let someone else pick my clothes for me, I always get compliments on how I look. If I were rich, I would hire a personal shopper!

crimsons
10-17-2011, 01:02 PM
It's SO much easier when you're slimmer -- I went the other way (up) and have been miserable trying to find clothes. It always seems my waistband is trying to strangle me, with "stuff" spilling over the top.

I realize this is a terrible name for a show, but it's a great resource for your purposes: the TLC television show called "What Not To Wear." The focus is on some basic rules of proportion, what goes with what, how to add your personality, and most of all -- what FITS. The two hosts, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly, have written several books and if you google the show you'll find lots of useful "how-to" videos. There may be re-runs too. I agree, fashion magazines are confusing.

lossforlife
10-17-2011, 03:32 PM
It is amazing what some well fitting, flattering styles can do for your body, not matter what body shape you have. I guess it is about experimentation and seeing what works with your shape. I tend to go for basic fashions really, I like what I like now.

I must admit I do try to wear some more daring things (always very classic though!) just to make the most of the shape I have now.

k8yk
10-17-2011, 04:20 PM
Ah yes, the old myth: Lose weight and you will be beautiful and the world will open up to you and everything will be wonderful because thin and pretty = success and happiness.

What a bunch of bullocks. There are miserable thin people, beautiful fat people, and ugly in shape people. And there are very beautiful people who can't dress themselves, very ugly people with amazing senses of style, and every possible combination of the above.

Life is about a lot more than being thin and pretty. Dressing well is nice, it certainly helps to give off the impression you wish to give off. But don't buy the myth- weight is just weight. Losing it won't make anything magical happen.

To answer your question: shopping is amazingly easy now comparatively speaking. But also somewhat overwhelming because now I can find so many things that fit. But I doubt anyone would say my style is much different now from what it's always been. It just fits better.

imperialistic
10-18-2011, 01:57 AM
Ah yes, the old myth: Lose weight and you will be beautiful and the world will open up to you and everything will be wonderful because thin and pretty = success and happiness.
What a bunch of bullocks. There are miserable thin people, beautiful fat people, and ugly in shape people. And there are very beautiful people who can't dress themselves, very ugly people with amazing senses of style, and every possible combination of the above.
Life is about a lot more than being thin and pretty. Dressing well is nice, it certainly helps to give off the impression you wish to give off. But don't buy the myth- weight is just weight. Losing it won't make anything magical happen.

I couldn't have summed it up better. In terms of "who looks better," well we all look different. When I lost weight the only thing magical that happened to me was that I was able to shop at the mall. So really, it was the availability of clothes that was helpful.
Besides that, I think the biggest things that clothes do for me is that they help me feel good. Whether I'm dressed up at 195 lbs or dressed up at 135 lbs, I'll feel just as good. I started paying attention to the way I dressed when I got down to 175 lbs and the confidence boost I got from it was amazing. Clothes have that neat trick. Weight is relative. I've seen 250 lbs fashion bloggers who look amazing. And you can tell by looking at them that they feel amazing too.
You can look good in the right clothes at any weight. I'm living proof. Sometimes I look at my progress photos and even some photos in the upper 100's look very stylish ;)

ironlovehandles
10-19-2011, 06:32 AM
Ah yes, the old myth: Lose weight and you will be beautiful and the world will open up to you and everything will be wonderful because thin and pretty = success and happiness.

What a bunch of bullocks. There are miserable thin people, beautiful fat people, and ugly in shape people. And there are very beautiful people who can't dress themselves, very ugly people with amazing senses of style, and every possible combination of the above.

Life is about a lot more than being thin and pretty. Dressing well is nice, it certainly helps to give off the impression you wish to give off. But don't buy the myth- weight is just weight. Losing it won't make anything magical happen.

To answer your question: shopping is amazingly easy now comparatively speaking. But also somewhat overwhelming because now I can find so many things that fit. But I doubt anyone would say my style is much different now from what it's always been. It just fits better.

You've said what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. Clothes are my nemesis and I hate shopping at the best of times. My husband tells me I don't shop. I hunt.

"I need black pants."
*Walk into first store, squint, spot something black, pounce and purchase.*
"DONE" (triumphantly)

And then, of course, I get home and put them on and find out that they pull funny in the back, and are too long. But I wear them anyway because I need black pants.

I was really hoping that my new body (when I get it) would just look good in anything, but it looks like I'm going to have to create a new mindset about clothes AND develop new shopping techniques.

And Imperialistic, I definitely envy your gift! Did you develop your style purposefully, or did it just come naturally?

runningfromfat
10-19-2011, 06:53 AM
You've said what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. Clothes are my nemesis and I hate shopping at the best of times. My husband tells me I don't shop. I hunt.

"I need black pants."
*Walk into first store, squint, spot something black, pounce and purchase.*
"DONE" (triumphantly)

And then, of course, I get home and put them on and find out that they pull funny in the back, and are too long. But I wear them anyway because I need black pants.

I was really hoping that my new body (when I get it) would just look good in anything, but it looks like I'm going to have to create a new mindset about clothes AND develop new shopping techniques.

And Imperialistic, I definitely envy your gift! Did you develop your style purposefully, or did it just come naturally?

Well, if you don't like the actual act of shopping... why don't you research online more? Look at reviews for items that you're interested in. Then you could go to that specific store that you've already read the reviews for or just order online and return it if you don't like it.

Is there something specifically that you hate when it comes to trying on clothes in the store? Is there a reason you don't try them on there?

InsideMe
10-19-2011, 08:30 AM
I think developing your own fashion sense will give you a clue to what type of clothing you will like. But it's hard and like anything else some people are amazing at it and others not so much. I've started just going online and looking at fashion trends, things I like etc. Watch fashion TV, talk shows, anything to just bring some awareness to fashion and what I do like or not. It's really not about what's "in" or "out" it's what you like. Maybe after your research if you nail it down to a decent outfit you would like to try on, then book a day and go shopping. Try on anything that follows along the lines of the outfit you liked. It doesn't have to be exact but it can be similar. I think the key is you have to try on different types of clothes to see what compliments your shape. Take a friend with you too and if something doesn't fit right or look good don't worry, it doesn't mean its your body it just means its not the right cut for you. It will take some trial and error but once you get the knack of it, keeping in the loop of fashion trends, seeing what's out there, becoming aware of what you really like of what's out there, finding the right cuts etc. and trying on the clothes, you may even start to really enjoy it!! That's the fun in fashion and shopping, but like anything else sometimes it takes practice. Good luck :)

ironlovehandles
10-19-2011, 08:53 AM
That's a great thought - I've never purchased clothes online before. I guess you would just need your measurements?
To be honest, I hate shopping because I sort of see it as a waste of time. My life is as full as it can get with full-time school, full time work, parenthood and home renovations.
I've started to think about clothes-buying techniques because I've come to realize that looking good is important. As much as I would like to think I'm impartial, I know that *I* judge people by the way they look, and I'm sure everyone else is in the same boat. I've always believed that intelligence, passion and work ethic are all you need to succeed, but it's become evident that these will really only be noticed if people are not distracted by how messy or un-put-together you look.

Thighs Be Gone
10-19-2011, 09:11 AM
It was easier but it took some practice to understand my new body and how to dress it. For years I neglected myself especially in the wardrobe department. Keep tweaking--you will get it right.

LiannaKole
10-21-2011, 12:05 AM
I'm not a maintainer, but this topic is really interesting to me.

I've never dressed badly, but I've never been stylish. I'd LOVE to be, but I have pretty much always been big, and I have trouble fitting my body. Before I regained some weight, I was getting better at fitting myself. But... big is hard. And I don't have overweight friends or fashionista friends who know how to fit big people. It's a pain.

I cannot WAIT to be able to actually pick a style and dress it. Or not pick a style and dress in whatever I want because I'll be able to FIT into regular sizes! I can't even imagine all the options...

k8yk
10-21-2011, 06:11 PM
I love shopping :) Especially now that I have lost weight, I always feel like I look SO different and thin/fit in dressing rooms. It's a great way to get to know your new body. The way we present ourselves to the world makes a huge difference. Perhaps that's superficial and not all that great, but it's reality. I also just find clothes shopping is great "me" time. We all need that- no matter how many other things we have going on. It's one of the benefits of being a smaller size- being able to enjoy shopping so many different places.

yoyoma
10-22-2011, 09:47 AM
I love shopping :) Especially now that I have lost weight, I always feel like I look SO different and thin/fit in dressing rooms.

I think I look pretty good for my age, but dressing rooms still usually make me look like crap. I don't know why... it seems like they usually have unflattering lighting, or maybe color choice.

I find that I am kissing a lot of toads when I shop for clothing, but once in a while, I find a Prince. I've been known to try on twenty pairs of pants to find one that I like that flatters me. Even tops, which are more forgiving, often look great on the rack but I wouldn't wear on a bet. But when I do find outfits that look great on me, it is so worth it! I guess it is like the payoff for a gambler.

losermom
10-23-2011, 10:13 AM
I'm going to suggest taking full-body photos of yourself in different types of clothing. I did that when I hit maintenance and was forced to buy a new wardrobe. I learned a lot about my body shape--what looks good and what looks not so good. Now I'll admit I'm a bit of a clothes horse and I went a little crazy. But in the course of it I learned the following:

If it's cheap and looks great, does it still "fit" into your wardrobe? Can you wear the piece with other things you already own? Do you really have anyplace to wear it? This is hard because it's easy to find great looking fancy clothes but that's not how I live my life. I don't have to really dress up for work very frequently. I now have an overabundance of too dressy clothes that I bought on the cheap.

I often shop with my DD24 who's quite the fashionista herself. I have to continuously remind myself that "No, I do not need to dress like a 24 year old, even though these clothes fit me." It's easy to fall into the hootchie-mama trap. She'll tell me that it's appropriate but I still have to keep in mind that I'm 48, not 28.

And most of all, have fun with it! Fashion is supposed to be fun and a way to express yourself. Go for it girl! You deserve it!

twinmommaplusone
10-25-2011, 07:10 AM
yep, no clue how to dress either.

I have it stuck in my head that hot pair of jeans, black heeled boots and a pretty top and I'm all set!

Can I just say...there is some butt ugly clothes out there! omg, so gross!

sirius93
01-05-2012, 04:10 PM
i think everyone has a different frame, if skinny doesnt look good on you, put on a bit of weight in a healthy way