100 lb. Club - Anybody else have people who sabotage them?

02-04-2003, 03:32 AM
It's not really intentional sabotage, and probably it's more that I'm sabotaging myself. All I know is that I was doing great until my daughter came to live with us, and now it's become really, really hard to stay OP. She's 19, was having some problems, and we made her come live with us. I really didn't want to because this is the first time we've been without kids (we're a blended family) in almost 22 years of marriage. I was enjoying the heck out of it!

She brings in things I really don't want to have in my house, like high sugar cereal (it's so easy to reach in that cereal box), chips (I made her put them in her room), even pretzels, which aren't bad, but I'm still at the stage where I don't want easy-to-snack on stuff around. I had made my house a place where I felt comfortable, with food I wanted to have around me. Then she is always up for having my DH bring home some kind of dessert, or to go out to eat--both of which I still can't handle very well yet. Tonight she made brownies for work, ate some of them, and left them in the kitchen, and it was hard to ignore them (I did, though). Plus just the anger of having her around when she should be at college, the way we planned, causes me to be even more tempted to eat from emotional reasons. Aargh!

02-04-2003, 09:55 AM

I only have a 3 year old - so I still rule her world. Or atleast I tell myself that :lol:

Just because your daughter is an adult doesn't mean she can do anything in your house. If she doesn't like it - she can become a real adult and get her own place or go to college. You wouldn't let her smoke pot in your house, right? Well in your house junk food is just as illegal as drugs. Your dh follows your junk food rules - he supports you, right? Then dd should do the same.

Just my two cents :)

Have a serious talk with her about how much this weight lose means to you and how you really need her support right now.


02-04-2003, 10:18 AM
My husband can be both-my greatest saboteur and my greatest helper. The last 2 days he has been sabotaging me "I brought your favorite ice cream" "If your shoulder hurts that bad lets just get dinner" "I got you these dark chocolates cause I love you" Drives me crazy. Then I will get mad and yell an he will be supportive for awhile.

Miss Chris

Goddess Jessica
02-04-2003, 12:51 PM
Luckily my worst saboteurs are my coworkers and I dislike most of them anyway...:)
Here are my favorite saboteur tactics:
"You look fine the way you are, why are tryign to lose weight anyway?"
"Oh, this one little cookie/cake/candy/lardbar won't kill your diet, c'mon."
"You are doing so good, why not let yourself splurge a little?"
"Don't be stubborn it's only (fill in the blank)."
"Are you sure you don't want some? It's soooooo goooood...." (Someone at work actually used this on some pizza that caused food poisoning the previous day but she was still eating it!)

Most saboteurs don't mean to be so darn evil but it happens. My boyfriend is super supportive and non-judgemental but once in awhile brings in Haagan Daaz or my best friends (Ben & Jerry) as a reward food ("this is for getting through your first week of school.") and if I've got calories to spare, I indulge. If I don't, I give him a kiss and tell him to hide it so I don't see it. :)

02-04-2003, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by Goddess Jessica


Sheila, make her keep her treats in her room, as much of them as she can. Outta sight, outta mind?

02-04-2003, 01:57 PM
I have to say ... I agree with the others: your house, your rules and one rule is "NO SNACKS WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM!"

I wish you the best, it's never easy and you should be happy in knowing that it really doesn't sound like DELIBERATE sabotage ... so it's not that she doesn't care, but that she doesn't think. Have a talk with her.

As for the anger and the stress eating ... that's a tough one and unfortunately one that you need to work on yourself, but perhaps that will be easier with the obvious temtation removed.

I wish you the best!