Living Maintenance - So incredibly frusterated

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10-11-2011, 10:50 AM
Last week was great for me. I may not have eaten so well every meal, but I controlled the eating until my tummy looks pregnant (which I have been doing most days lately, hence a 10 lb gain in the last few months). I exercised, I resisted eating when I wasn't hungry. Most importantly, I maintained, even lost a couple from the prior week. But Sunday I had a little too much fun with my husband and drank a few, snacked a lot. So, I've done this before. It's usually my Sunday routine. And I know I'm going to see a jump on the scale, mostly water, a little of just too much food. But yesterday, when I got on the scale to see my inevitable gain from a day of too much fun, I immediately started crying. 8lbs!!!!!!!!!!!! I've done 3-5 before, but 8??? So I tried to drink a ton of water, barely ate at all. And today, still up 8. I don't get it. I should have lost a little of the water weight. I am just so incredibly frusterated with my weight and myself lately. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, I just stay where I am, or gain. I'm lost! I don't know how i did it before. How did I ever lose 70lbs?? I've gained back 10 of those and I can't seem to even get myself together enough to lose 1, let alone all 10 to get back to where I like my body again. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10-11-2011, 11:02 AM
Do you keep track of your calories ? Do you have a food plan ? I find when I try to estimate how much I have eaten, that I actually have eaten more than I think. In maintenace I stll plan all meals , still count calories. I have an occasional treat but can't go wild . I don't think you gained 8 pounds. You are right a lot of that is water weight. Did your snacks have a lot of sodium ? Sodium is notorious for retaining water.

traveling michele
10-11-2011, 11:20 AM
Like bargoo said, you obviously didn't gain 8 pounds over night. Sometimes when I have a quick gain, it takes more than a few days to get back off-- exercise, drink water, and stick to your plan and it will start coming off. Perhaps the big gain will be enough of a scare to refocus you?? You've worked too hard to gain the weight back now. Think of what you really want-- and what are you willing to do to get there??
Hugs and good luck!

10-11-2011, 12:15 PM
Well, it sounds like something is off. Is it your time of month?

Also, going from over the top to "barely eating at all" is no guarantee of dropping. It would be better for you to eat according to a reasonable calorie level. Otherwise you may find yourself swinging from one extreme to the other.

I agree with others who say, you need to track what you're eating more formally. You said "I may not have eaten so well," and to me that's a flag for you don't know exactly how much you were eating. That's probably where some of the gain came from, all other things being equal.


10-11-2011, 12:22 PM
Looking at your story I have to say this is my battle too! I feel you! I have been wavering near my goal weight for so long and I keep fluctuating up and down, especially after my husband and I snack and drink on the weekends. I really need to figure out how to keep my weekends in check because I lose during the week and then gain it back on the weekend. It is super frustrating to be stuck. I wish my husband encourage me to stay on track over the weekend because that would make a world of difference.

10-11-2011, 02:43 PM
I agree with the others that you didn't gain 8 pounds overnight. I've been in that situation too, where it takes a few days to drop the water weight.

But in the longer term, I think you would benefit from rethinking your weekends. This bit jumped out at me.

But Sunday I had a little too much fun with my husband and drank a few, snacked a lot. So, I've done this before. It's usually my Sunday routine. And I know I'm going to see a jump on the scale, mostly water, a little of just too much food. But yesterday, when I got on the scale to see my inevitable gain from a day of too much fun, I immediately started crying.

Maybe you could talk about this with your hubby and find fun things to do together that don't involve eating and drinking? I don't want too sound all censorious, but I lived like that for far too long. Dreading weight gain and crying when you see the numbers on the scale isn't "fun" at all.


10-11-2011, 03:13 PM
I've never officially counted calories, I just always mentally too note of how many calories i've had, is that too much....nope, you can eat this, ect. And even then, it's only during the day, when I'm eating by myself. I'd eat a regular supper with everyone else, having no idea how many calories i've eaten. I did that the whole time I lost weight. That's the kind of frusterating part for me. I figured a balance before, but now I can't seem to find my groove again.
But things are looking better for me this afternon. I went on a nice long bike ride, 22 miles. I made sure to drink water this morning, and I did a nice filling, but not too many calorie breakfast. An apple and protein shake for lunch. So far, I've "peed" out 4 of the 8 a huge smile on my face :) I know some of you said I should probably rethink what I do on sundays for fun that don't revolve around food or drinking, but honestly, I don't want to. Again, I did this all the time when I lost weight. Ive just lost the balance I used to have. Sundays are relazing days at home with my husband, who works overtime or away during most weeks. We enjoy this one day to spend time with eachother. Talk while there's some really good meat on the grill, enjoying a brandy with eachother. I'm not going to top that. I just need to trim it down a little :) But thanks guys for answering me.

10-11-2011, 03:22 PM
I have been where you are! I agree with several suggestions already made. Firstly, it sounds like tracking your food intake a bit more closely could help you determine if your "8 lb gains" are truly coming from weekend drinking and snacking. I know when I don't track closely I eat far more calories than I intend/think I have. I've accepted it and know I must track. (Though as others posted an 8-lb jump is pretty big, there may be some salt to blame for part of that.)

Secondly you need to talk to your DH. Sit down, and calmly explain to him that you're trying to take off a few lbs you put on, and these weekend drinking & snack-a-thons are having the opposite effect. Ask him to support you when you choose not to drink/only drink 1 beer etc. If there's a "special" event where you're snacking (e.g. football game), why don't you make yourself some on-plan snacks ahead of time, or a special mocktail. That way you don't feel like you're deprived if DH is chowing down on chips & beer (or if he's game, make some healthier snacks for both of you to enjoy). Maybe suggest a different activity that doesn't focus on food and drinking.

10-12-2011, 10:03 AM
I'm right where you are now. It's frustrating, and honestly, a little scary. It feels scary to seem so out of control to get back on track. I need to lose 5-10lbs to get back to where I want to be, and have needed to lose those same 5-10lbs for about three months.

I've talked about my itty bitty goals about a zillion times on here in the last few days, but they're making a huge difference in my motivation to get started again. Each night I'm establishing a few tiny itty bitty silly goals that are easy to achieve but will point me in the right direction. Things like "make 10 posts on 3FC today" or "avoid the cookie tin in the break room for one whole afternoon" or "walk for 15 extra minutes today." Not all week, not for the rest of forever, just today.

What's happened, is I've been able to succeed at my little goals. I'm getting my confidence in my self-control back, my momentum, and my motivation. I was falling into that "I'll be good tomorrow" pattern. The best way to describe it is I slipped, fell down, gained 10lbs back, but it was like trying to get back up on a patch of ice. I kept slipping and falling again, thus, couldn't lose. But I found a solid piece of ground to get a foothold on to start getting back up.

10-12-2011, 11:03 AM
Ah, if only women could eat like men. That would considerably reduce the number of anguished posts on 3FC from women eating happily alongside husbands and boyfriends and then standing on the scale a day or two later & seeing an unwanted gain that causes all that happiness to deflate again.

There must be a way to be with other people, to be fully engaged with them and share their experiences without doing EXACTLY as they do, mirroring their every action & bite of food.

That's what you may have to figure out how to do.

10-12-2011, 11:33 AM
What I find amusing is how many people post "HELP!!!!" and then a day or so later, after getting lots of feedback, they post again and list all the things they are not going to do. :rofl:

What I've learned, BakingChick, is that I've had to become willing, if necessary, to do some things that in the past I said I wasn't willing to do. Especially if I am having repeated problems with weight...

I'm not sayin' you should change anything, but just be open.


10-12-2011, 01:31 PM
I think it's just your attitude that needs adjustment.
I always weigh more on Mondays and the least on Fridays- but I don't freak out about it. It's normal that if you eat more for a few days, or maybe have some drinks, don't drink as much water, etc you will weigh more.
If you aren't going to change your behaviour, you have to accept that the scale will fluctuate. It's really not a big deal. Everybody's weight fluctuates, nobody stays the same every day. That's why I consider myself to have a "Maintenance range" not a single goal weight.