Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-06-2011, 07:48 PM   #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
freefall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 154

S/C/G: 350+/172/150

Height: 5'3"

Default Food guilt

Anybody else plagued by food guilt or is this just my own neurosis? Yesterday I had 1500 calories and did an hour of zumba, so totally OP. But because some of the calories were snacking after dinner, I felt guilty. Today I'm at 1100 calories (so far) and did an hour of spin, but because dinner was half an Italian sausage and the cheese off a slice and a half of pizza, I feel guilty. For the longest time I felt like anything I was doing was better than what I had been doing, but now I am feeling guilty about everything I put in my mouth.
Anyone else go through anything like this?
freefall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2011, 08:19 PM   #2  
Senior Member
 
JessLess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 854

S/C/G: 250/168/150

Height: 5'7"

Default

Not like that. I figure I need to eat about 1,200 net calories minimum to keep my metabolism up.
JessLess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2011, 09:35 PM   #3  
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

We're "taught" food guilt, it's the way diets are done in our culture - but I think it's also why most diets fail. Most diets fail, because we're taught to fail. If we follow the pattern we've been taught, we will fail - because the failure is built into how weight loss is done.

I've often said that if weight loss were mountain climbing, no one would survive it, because after any stumble, we'd throw ourselves to the bottom so we could "start fresh."

Getting rid of food guilt was essential for my long-term success. Getting rid of scale guilt was also essential. I had to stop seeing my weight as measure of my worthiness as a human being.

For me, it really helped to make "weight maintenance" my first goal and weight loss as my second. So when I get on the scale, I celebrate if I haven't gained weight. That means that I get to celebrate most days.

When I only counted a loss (and usually only a BIG Loss) as success. If I stayed the same or lost only a half pound, it felt just as bad as if I had gained.

And when a small loss seems almost as bad as a gain, it gets tempting to go off the diet (you start thinking "if I'm going to feel bad anyway, I might as well really deserve it - if I'm going to screw up a little, I might as well screw up royallyand at least get to eat what I want).

Taking guilt out of dieting has made it much more tolerable. Finding more things to celebrate, has even made it fun. I'm not tempted to give up any more, because I look at diet and exercise as a way to pamper the wonderful me, not punish the "bad" me.

I like rewards and pampering a lot more than punishments, so I'm rarely tempted to give up (unless I start thinking like the old, failing me).

I even do little rewards. At first I started setting 5 lb goals and would buy something small and fun (like a cheap book or magazine) for every 5 lbs.

Recently I decided to buy a charm or bead for every 5 lbs I have lost. I chose a cheap imitation of the Pandora style jewelry (with the donut shaped beads that slide onto the necklace or bracelet). At Jo-Ann Fabric you can buy a necklace or bracelet for under $7 and for about $5 you can buy a card of 3 to 5 beads.

I always wear the bracelets when I go out to eat. It reminds me to make sensible choices, because I don't want to have to take off any of the beads (I've made a pact with myself that if I gain weight and can't get it off within a week, I have to take off the bead I had earned until I earn it back).
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2011, 09:42 PM   #4  
Beauty, Brawn and Brains!
 
Goddess Jessica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: California
Posts: 3,010

S/C/G: 298(O)/268.2(RS)/247.9.0/175.0

Height: 5'9''

Default

Absolutely. It's from a long time dieter mentality that there is bad food and good food. We know that the food might be within our calorie range but it wasn't our best choice and even though it is SO MUCH BETTER than what we would have done before, we can't let go of the guilt.

I find it funny because I also have the SAME mentality when I read. I have a literature degree. If I have time to read a book and I pick up People magazine, I feel very guilty that I'm not reading something more substantial. Even though it is perfectly reasonable for me to read People, and it's better than watching tv, or being on Facebook, I still feel bad!

What I'm saying -- every day doesn't need to be a Tale of Two Cities... sometimes it's a Kardashian Wedding spread -- and that's okay too. Just not all the time!
Goddess Jessica is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2011, 11:33 PM   #5  
slim endgame
 
goal4agirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 579

S/C/G: 255/see ticker/150

Height: 5' 4"

Default

Yep- I do the same thing. I'm trying to learn to have more balance with my food choices. Just because I put 1/2 a cup of cheese on a vegetable does not mean I have blown it. Through out the day I try to eat smaller portions of food so I can enjoy melted cheese on something- or a slice of angel food cake with peaches (and a dollup of low fat whip cream) because I enjoy tasty food. And just because I am working on trying to lose weight and get more healthy does not mean I can't enjoy food any more either.
But at least we are being mindful of what we are doing to our bodies. Gone are the day's of over eating and abusing our body with any thing and everything- every day. I guess we just have to try and do our best each day- and not beat ourselves up if we slip up a little.
I like Kaplods example of treating yourself for weight loss. I do that too. For me each 5 Lbs. I buy a new lip stick and magazine.
goal4agirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2011, 11:44 PM   #6  
Junior Member
 
Dawn85's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3

S/C/G: 267/234/165

Height: 5'8

Default

I'm the same exact way... although I went a little over my calories yesterday.. Took my daughter to the apple farm yesterday and ate an apple donut ok I had 2 lol I just couldn't help myself Ive been doing so good lately but I'm not going to let that stop me.. Usually I would just give up all together but now I'm back on track again
Dawn85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 01:03 AM   #7  
Senior Member
 
MrsTee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Melbourne Australia
Posts: 424

Default

Yep, I suffer terribly from food guilt, and have to pull myself up every few months or so as I get more and more obsessed. I end up eating very little because I feel so bad actually eating...

At the moment I am going through an adjustment phase where I need to remind myself that good food is good - and that I need to eat a reasonable amount. I get paranoid about eating an extra apple!
Which is why i don't rigarously count calories - I can get quite silly about it, and start to stress about 30 calories, and when you need to lose 100+ pounds, 30 calories is not really a concern, I could have ended up with a major eating disorder except I hate throwing up...

Last edited by MrsTee; 10-07-2011 at 01:06 AM.
MrsTee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 01:30 AM   #8  
Senior Member
 
kylonaa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Seattle
Posts: 146

S/C/G: 278/ticker/150

Height: 5'4''

Default

It's a little different than guilt but I've started to be a little afraid of food. I'm at the point in my plan now where I need to start adding back a few things I had cut out but I'm staying at the lower level because I'm afraid the first thing I add back is going to trigger a collapse of my willpower. Tonight I had one extremely tiny bite of cake and somehow I've decided in my brain that although I was otherwise on plan all day I'm going to go up five pounds tomorrow. I know it's ridiculous and hopefully as I continue to make healthy choices it will start to go away but its a weird feeling...
kylonaa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 05:03 AM   #9  
pursuer of joy
 
124chicksinger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: northern New Jersey
Posts: 827

S/C/G: 198/170ish/160-???

Height: 5.6 on a tall day

Default

Well, yes, I do. I had Chipotle's burrito and while I didn't have guac, sour cream, or cheese, and accounted for everything else that I did have, and chose brown rice over white, and it fit into my daily caloric target and/or ceiling.....I felt guilty eating it. I know the quality of the food isn't great, and I can't control how it is prepared, but, and you know there is a but....it could have been worse. <--- Hows that for a run on sentence? It could have been McDonalds or Burger King or Entenmann's.

I am trying to eat healthfully and make a variety of good choices. I had been craving Chipotle's burrito, and I think the worst part of it was the tortilla itself. That it fit into my day was mere coincidence...I was topping off a bad day with a treat. I didn't have to cook it, I made the best choices over the choices presented, and it fit into my calories for the day. So, I have to get over it and move on. I have. You should too.

I had a coworker years ago who lost about 100 pounds strictly by eating "x" calories daily. She literally some days ate nothing but dessert(s). I remember her saying she had a Sundae for dinner. Bearing in mind that I don't do that....I think I can live with the occasional Chipotle burrito.
124chicksinger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 09:57 AM   #10  
Never surrender
 
dragonwoman64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 2,751

S/C/G: 251 current/237 minigoal/180

Height: 5' 9"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica View Post
What I'm saying -- every day doesn't need to be a Tale of Two Cities... sometimes it's a Kardashian Wedding spread -- and that's okay too. Just not all the time!
thanks for the laugh with that.

yes, I experience it too, it feels like an all or nothing mentality to me that isn't very helpful. when I make food choices I try to think of how healthy it is, and the calories, and how worth it it is for me to eat it if it isn't on my plan. there was a commercial of a woman running on a treadmill, it goes on for 20 seconds or so (long time in commercial land) then the calorie count ticker clicks from 0 to 1. that comes into my mind a lot, ha!
dragonwoman64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 10:50 AM   #11  
Started IP 10/21/15
 
PreciousMissy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Denver
Posts: 1,472

S/C/G: 243/238.8/170

Height: 5'4"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica View Post
I find it funny because I also have the SAME mentality when I read. I have a literature degree. If I have time to read a book and I pick up People magazine, I feel very guilty that I'm not reading something more substantial. Even though it is perfectly reasonable for me to read People, and it's better than watching tv, or being on Facebook, I still feel bad!

What I'm saying -- every day doesn't need to be a Tale of Two Cities... sometimes it's a Kardashian Wedding spread -- and that's okay too. Just not all the time!
This is me and money. Even when all my bills are paid if I have a little extra my first thought is to put it into savings. I feel guilty every time I spend money on non-essentials, even though I deserve a treat.

I am actually trying to work on that and negotiate with myself. Putting money away is good, but my world isn't going to come crashing down if I spend $20 on something fun that is 100% an indulgence for me.

Same with weight loss. You're not going to gain back all the weight you lost over night because you decided to eat a portion of chips that fits into your allowance, rather than an orange once in a while.
PreciousMissy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 03:02 PM   #12  
Hi From Canada, eh?
 
Trazey34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, eh?
Posts: 2,370

S/C/G: check the ticker :)

Height: 5'8

Default

Nah, I don't have food guilt - didn't have it at 323 either! I can't equate that emotion with an inanimate object. I feel guilty if I don't visit my parents as often as I should, stuff like that. I can't equate food or fat with being "bad" either - that one ALWAYS blew my mind! How a person can be a "bad person" because they eat too much, or are fat! Now, if they ripped the food out of a starving baby's hands, then yes, they are bad LOL

The People magazine analogy is the best one -- we aim to have more good days than not, and aim to make the best choices -- but sometimes instead of salad and chicken, you just gotta eat a brownie for dinner LOL you do it and move on and don't make a habit and you'll be fine!
Trazey34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2011, 03:09 PM   #13  
I choose me...
 
InsideMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 882

S/C/G: HW 265/SW 240/CW ticker/GW 150

Height: 5 Ft 3

Default

Honestly for me, I feel that constantly counting calories makes me crazy. Counting anything makes me feel guilty, so I don't do it. I find it way too much obsessing if I'm going over or under and how good I'm doing on a daily basis. I did it when I first started to get an idea of what I should be eating and then stopped. I make healthy choices and eat when I'm hungry in small portions....now that's key. I drink a big glass of water first when hunger hits (if it's not around my meals like breakfast, lunch or dinner) and if it doesn't go away I have a healthy snack, something with protein to keep me full.

Maybe give yourself a break from counting calories. It takes 3500 to add a pound of fat, so really, so what? you went to 1500 cals! Your ok! Be kind to yourself

I know I've gone over calories on the weekends. My goodness last week my GF and I sat and ate doritos and watched a movie! Then we went to Burrito Boyz for dinner (mind you I had a small veggie soya on whole wheat) but I got EVERYTHING on it! LOL
We eat out every weekend, sushi, indian.....

Key is don't stuff yourself! Eat til your full and stop.

Moderation is key. We are learning to eat for life, we might as well start now. You fall off you get back on, you fall of again you get back on and learn as you go.

Last edited by InsideMe; 10-07-2011 at 03:13 PM.
InsideMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2011, 10:16 PM   #14  
metamorfizzn
 
laali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: city of lost angels
Posts: 12

S/C/G: 200/(ticker sez)/131

Height: 5'2"

Default

I definitely can relate. And I used to use guilt as a motivator to change behaviors I didn't want to keep, but I was finding myself far too stressed out (panic attacks!) and, in the end, worn down by what amounted to a whole bunch of self-hatred and disgust.

I'm not over it yet; thoughts are persistent, broken record grooves. I like kaplods suggestions a lot.

Ages ago I read one of Cherie Huber's excellent Zen books, and I remember a concept she wrote about, where, instead of beating yourself up over something you wish you hadn't done or had done differently, you purposefully add in something positive, instead. Make things additive (positive) instead of subtractive (negative).

SO, for ex., if you overeat beyond what you were planning to do, instead of making a huge deal about it with yourself and feeling guilt, just add in a short walk or something life-affirming that makes you feel good about yourself. And keep trying. Whatever you add doesn't have to directly offset your 'mistake'. I think over time the idea is to stop keeping record of 'slip-ups' and even change your perspective into being at peace with yourself and your choices.

By doing this, you don't yo-yo to the "bad side" and then yo-yo back to the "virtuous side" of things, with all the judgments that go with both ends of that spectrum. Instead, you find a happy middle-ground of something like self-acceptance and compassion.

I'm trying to make a concerted effort to use this kind of approach as I'm focusing on my health/weight challenges now, since years of yo-yo'ing around (the scale, the guilt spectrum) has pretty well wrecked my self-esteem and my relationship to my body. It seems to be going much better lately, and I'm feeling way less haggard and miserable in this process, which is SUCH a welcome change... It's like I actually feel like I can breathe easily, when I didn't realize I had been holding my breath forever.
laali is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2011, 11:25 PM   #15  
Senior Member
 
linJber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: NW PA
Posts: 1,609

S/C/G: 255/holding at 162/160

Height: 5'-7"

Default

Everyone else has given great advice. I'll just chime in with my new weight loss philosophy, which is to simply "eat like a thin person." Thin people sometimes eat a bit too much. It's normal to fluctuate up and down. There is no need to stress over a few calories, as long as you are staying within healthy boundaries most of the time. You have made great progress, so it's obvious you are doing something right. Just keep it up!

It has taken me 9 months and 90 pounds to get this attitude. I hope you catch on quicker than I did!

Lin
linJber is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ending Food Guilt LataJones Chicks in Control 11 07-27-2011 07:29 PM
Food Guilt bama girl Chicks in Control 11 07-10-2010 08:27 AM


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:23 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.