When people as how much I want to lose, and I tell them 100 pounds, they tell me "you don't need to lose that much!!!!!!" and that I'll be underweight. Also, they make comments that I'll look like celebs who are grossly underweight, for instance Leanne Rimes. i started out at 270, and if I lose 100 pounds, I'll still be normal. Probably around a size 10.
I feel you - when I tell people I need to lose about 50 lbs they think I'm crazy. NO SERIOUSLY. I guess thank you for thinking I'm not that heavy but SERIOUSLY, to reach a normal weight for my height, I need to lose like 40-50 lbs. Just ignore what other people will say - not everyone will understand. Just focus on what feels right to YOU and what makes you happy and you healthy.
Maybe tell people you are losing till you are healthy rather than giving them a number. Or just tell them to MYOB!
My response to any such question is short and works. I simply smile and say"I will forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering." Then the subject changes immediately.
May not be right for everyone but it sure works for me and no one has ever taken offense because it sets limits without being rude.
I have so far told one person how much weight I am looking to lose. 130lbs (nearly 60kg) and that persons reaction was appaling. Now I just tell people who ask that I will lose as much as necessary to get me healthy. Generally they leave me alone after that.
Location: Ireland - The green green grass and the grey grey skies
Posts: 374
Height: 5ft 11"
I don't think people understand is all, not people who have gone through the same thing. Even people who have don't completely understand... It's individual to everyone. Just try to ignore what other people say and continue on
It helps not having a final goal number in mind! lol! I started at 261 and since I have not been below 200 any time that I can even remember, I have no idea what number I am going to be when I get to a point where I ready to stop losing weight. I could realistically lose anywhere between 80 and 130 lbs and be healthy.
So I don't bother to tell people I'm trying to lose 100 lbs - I just say I'm trying to lose more than I have so far.
People who have never lost a significant amount of weight, or who don't weigh themselves often - and that means, most people - are notoriously bad at guessing weights. They underestimate vastly. Most people have no idea 275 pounds really looks like on a woman, and might guess she weighs 200 or at most 225. Very few people knew my starting weight, but nowadays when I tell people I've lost more than 100 pounds the reaction is complete incredulity.
The upshot is, how much people who eyeball you think you have to lose is totally irrelevant to your process. Moreover, how much you think you have to lose is totally none of their business. You are well within your rights to refuse to answer such questions. "Oh, I want to reach a healthy weight" or "Oh, I'll know when I get there" are perfectly acceptable answers that get the message across that you aren't interested in discussing numerical specifics.
I never told anyone except my husband that I wanted to lose more than 100 lbs. It's really no one else's business.
Smart, SMART lady here. I can say the same and I was actually -30 pounds before my husband knew I had lost anything. This journey has been so all encompassing to me, so personal and powerful--no way am I going to discuss it during small talk with someone. I have found coming here is my number ONE support.
Oh hun, it only gets worse the less you have to lose. When you get to 190 and people ask how much more you have to go and you say 20, they will look at you like you are nuts. But regardless of how much you want or still need to lose just laugh it off by saying, "I have become a master of disguise!". It's amazing just how proficient we get at hiding our weight.
And a lot of these people may just be saying this to help you feel better about how you currently look or they want to help make it feel less daunting.
I understand the frustration though. Just laugh your way through!
Don't take it so personally. I truly believe that many people do not know what most weights look like. For example, I think most men think that 130 lbs. is a lot. They probably don't think you look as if you're 270 lbs., which I would take as a compliment if it were me (but to each her own).
I also agree with Shan. People say these things to make you feel better about how you might look or to make the journey seem less daunting. I have been on both ends of that at different points in my life and well...yeah, I don't discuss it this time round.
Most people have no idea what 50 pounds look like. Or 75 or 100. They are just numbers to them . Don't take what they say so seriously. If people had asked me how much I want to lose I would just say "enough" and change the subject.
Don't take it so personally. I truly believe that many people do not know what most weights look like. For example, I think most men think that 130 lbs. is a lot. They probably don't think you look as if you're 270 lbs., which I would take as a compliment if it were me (but to each her own).
I started out at 270, and I'm 253.4 now.
Thanks everyone. I just don't want stupid, insensitive people insinuating that I would want to be way below a normal weight or that I want to be unhealthy. I don't want that at all. I love food and eating lol, and I love being thick. I am really tall and want to be healthily curvy. I don't want to look like Olive Oyl. lol I wish people would think before they speak.
Last edited by fitwayoflife; 10-04-2011 at 09:28 AM.
Get to goal & stay there!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 849
S/C/G: 235/154.8/150
Height: 5'5"
I had a woman last year tell me that I shouldn't lose any more weight because I looked perfect at the weight I was. I was 170 pounds at 5'5". Perfect? Really?
Now if someone asks me how much more I want to lose, I just say, "Whatever gets me into a size 6."
Last edited by sandcar150; 10-04-2011 at 10:45 AM.
I'm starting to hate people
