Beck Diet Solution - Beck Diet For Life/Solution – October 2011 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

10-01-2011, 05:42 AM
Welcome to the discussion group, support group, diet coach group, diet buddy group relating to the two books by Dr. Judith S. Beck:The Complete Beck Diet for Life ( the first bookThe Beck DIET solution: train your brain to think like a thin person. (

The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Therapy (CT).

The Complete Beck Diet for Life expands the earlier work and includes a food plan with suggested menus. From the cover:With The Complete Beck Diet for Life you'll discover the 5 stages of successful dieting and maintenance. You'll learn how to motivate yourself, give yourself credit for every change you make, create time and energy for dieting, and handle hunger and cravings. Dr. Beck eases you into changing one step at a time. You'll master one task before moving on to the next. And you'll learn techniques to deal with challenging situations, such as sticking with ou plan at celebrations and dealing with "food pushers." With Dr. Beck's skills, you'll achieve a lifetime of healthful eating and lifelong motivation.

This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet buddy (coach) to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 fat chicks, a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post can be found here (

The books are available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking their names above; buying through 3FC helps to cover the costs of running this site.

You can find the list of previous (or more current) monthly Beck threads here on 3 Fat Chicks via:

List of Monthly Beck Threads for Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach (

10-01-2011, 05:45 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Walked (CREDIT moi) to a Thai restaurant last night where I ordered steamed ginger fish (cod around here) - CREDIT moi - remembering that Beverlyjoy always orders that. It was good stuff and I didn't feel like it was overeating to finish the plate (except for half the brown rice).

gardenerjoy – Kudos for setting a goal - daily weigh-in's for the month of September - and meeting it.

Beverlyjoy – Love it, "Time to play."

pamaga – Thanks for the reminder that it was time to start the October thread. As well as thanks for the description of the Omron pedometer.

maryann - Monster Kudos for "Credit for letting myself feel good about it." Neat that good changes are happening.

Tazzy - I second the observation by gardenerjoy - in a calorimeter in a laboratory, 3500 calories is a pound. In humans, there's more to the story. My take is that you could proceed with your 1500 calories for a spell and see how your body responds; it'll tell you what it needs. Kudos for charging into that closet.

BelovedK - Congrats on two pounds gone forever.

Val (va1erie) – Now I want a 'tagine' - that's one neat looking pot. Kudos for stopping at half of your entree.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.
Many of the dieters I've worked with initially thought they knew what hunger was, but they didn't. Whenever they wanted to eat, they thought, I'm hungry, even if they had just finished a large meal half an hour before. Labeling their sensations as "hunger" made it feel legitimate for them to eat, even when it wasn't time for them to eat. In reality, many of us want to eat multiple times a day when our stomachs are not empty and we are not experiencing true hunger. It's important to become adept at overcoming this desire so you can control your eating and keep off excess weight for the rest of you life.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg. 73.

10-01-2011, 07:52 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (no change), got very little spontaneous exercise yesterday as I was in the car much of the day, no planned as I wasn't in town for my class. Contacted my diet buddy.

I've been maintaining under my "hard stop" (the number I NEVER want to see on the scale again) of 118 for over five months now, with only a short rise into 115-territory for a few days after a vacation in August, so I've lowered it to 117. Makes me feel a little nervous, because if I hit that hard stop I'll feel I've gone out of control and right now I'm only 4 pounds under it. But I'd really like to continue to pull that hard stop downward. My orthopedic surgeon has told me that I almost can't be too thin, and I'm nowhere near the point anyone would be telling me I'm too thin. Well, weight watchers would tell me that at 109, but I think they're nuts -- I weighed between 107 and 112 from ages 17 to 31, and I was definitely not too thin. I think the bottom end of their weight ranges are "average/normal" weights, especially for small-boned people.

Off this afternoon to see Dickinson College in Carlisle PA, including doing a tour, so I'll probably get a good walk in. Then on to Philadelphia hoping to get in in time to pick up Robin at the airport, otherwise we'll meet at the hotel. :)

BBE -- did you feel like half the brown rice was overeating?

Have a great day, all!

10-01-2011, 09:03 AM
Happy October Everyone!

Things have been chugging along over here. I got in some good movement yesterday. I actually got to sleep at a normal time and am awake at a normal time.

It's a little dreary out today, but I still want to get some things done around the house and go grocery shopping. I need some fresh fruit and vegetables around, especially.

Unfortunately I did a lousy job of planning this past week, so my aim for this week is to plan much better, of course. It's not necessarily an "all or nothing" mentality... but I feel as though when one thing is off in my world that everything gets a little shifted. I did manage to eat within my Points, and exercise every day this week... yet because of little things feeling a bit odd I don't think I gave myself the credit I was due for sticking to my plan even during these times.

I just finished reading my ARCs, reminding myself why I'm on this journey. And I'll be off to get breakfast shortly and then be ready to start the day.

Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!

10-01-2011, 11:16 AM
Good morning, buddies! I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready to go to the airport to meet Val for the Beck workshop.

So this thread clears out and restarts every month? Does that mean that the older posts are no longer accessible?

my report: my weight was up .8 yesterday and down .4 today. Stuck to my plan but had a little trouble with the slow and mindful part; feeling very rushed, busy, and stressed out by the upcoming surgery. Read my cards and also stuck them in my purse in case I can use them in some way at the workshop.

Lovely, I know just what you mean when you say you feel the whole world shifts when one little thing is off balance. (That's pretty much the story of my life lately.) Hopefully we will both regain our equilibrium soon--without falling into the dual traps of all-or-nothing thinking and unplanned eating!

OK, I'm outta here. Can't wait to find out what Beck has in store for us tomorrow!


10-01-2011, 12:06 PM
Hello Beck Friends!

I am out of sight but not out of mind. I've been presented with a pressing need with my sibling which will take every emotional resource I have. I am back to one day at a time. I recognize that I must exercise the utmost in self care moment to moment. I had an off plan lunch yesterday, but that was it....once again, done. As I lay awake for many many hours last night I was absolutely dumbfounded that I did not want to "eat this problem away". I quite frankly have no idea what or where or how the solution is going to come, but am grateful to BDS for helping me to understand the answer is not in food.

I have some "catching up" to do, both here, and in my home environment. I will work on that today. In the meantime, I will go weigh myself and proceed to green smoothie making; my every day OP breakfast. Then I will pick up and tidy my house before heading out for exercise. That is what I can do today. *credit*

Thanks for being here, everyone. I "kind of" read posts yesterday. I will take time today to sit down and read again.

10-01-2011, 12:32 PM
Good Morning, Coaches
The first day of my favorite month. I have lots to celebrate today. 24 years ago today I stopped drinking. How grateful I am that DS will never have to see his mother drunk. That is a big deal in a family with generational alcoholism. I met my exercise goal of 30 mins a day exercise average for the month. That is three months straight. I have made a budget to help with school and a big trip to Disney World in January. I was under budget this month - a first. On and on I could go - MFA program, healthy family, friends. I am humble in my absolute gratitude.

Also, finally fall weather - slight cool, around here the smell of harvest. Terrific. DH took DS to the ranch to change tractor oil and gave me a free morning. I will putter a little and read a few books. OP yesterday and I have a plan for today.

Tazzy: I did the same thing with my closet and for the first time donated all the the clothes. It felt terrific to know I was never going back.
Valer1ie: I admire your food courage. I am such a "Chicken" with exotic food. You and BBE put me to shame. I appreciate your hard stop discussion. I never thought I would be happy in the 150's. A healthy BMI for me at my height is 155. I am large boned and curvy and I am comfortably in a size 8. Husband is thrilled. Says I don't need to lose anymore. Still I nag myself to be in the 140s. But I am letting that go, eating healthy food and see what happens. I think I could let my mind reel on all of this rather than keep on with the business of living.
Gardenerjoy: So glad you worked past the sticking point. It is unbelievable how my thinking becomes so rigid that I freeze under the perfectionism.
Pamatga: Thanks for the website. I am going to check it out.
Lovely: I just noticed you are from New England. Are the colors changing?
4everlearning: Enjoy Beck. I would love to go to a workshop if she is ever in California.
Lexxiss: I am thinking about you and this struggle you face.
BBE: We could harvest your walnuts this week. Everything is late and it is going to rain. What will happen if there is a trail mix scarcity?

10-01-2011, 06:41 PM
GD :sunny: everyone and :welcome2: to October!

Credit: I did increase my steps to over 5000 (one day 6400) and did 3 days in a row of 4-10 minute sessions on the treadmill walking from 1.7 mph-2.0 mph.
Credit myself with being honest and humble enough to say I have more to learn about putting into practice the Beck skills and strategies. Credit: I made a re-commitment for the next 3 months (see details below)to set a precedence for me of not eating my way through the upcoming holidays and to lose 25 lbs besides.

It was a "tough" past five days. I had one restaurant meal per day from Monday-Friday with all the added sodium followed by last night having 1/2 dozen chocolate chip cookies. I weigh myself every day so I changed my ticker to reflect the "ouch-ness" of following through on eating all of those densely caloric meals and subsequent fall-out from them. I discussed this with my DH since he is my willing "partner in crime" and I made a vow to eat out only once a week moving forward. (this is going to be sooooo hard)

I re-injured an old "anterior ligament" tear in my left knee(from years past) on Thursday when I really cranked the treadmill and was practically running to industrial-techno music (that hard driving pulse just made me want to race-those blasted endorphines). Problem is I don't have the body built for that.:( I awoke early Friday morning in intense pain, took some pain meds) and hobbled around here all day yesterday with my cane. I could barely put weight on my left leg at all. That explains why I was the last one to post for the end of September. Tazzy (when you pop on again) I am going to PM you what I wrote about calorie counting and pedometers since it was "long and winded" like I usually am.

Today, the knee is better. Tomorrow, if it is even better, I walk. :tread:

:congrat: :woohoo: :cheer: maryann for your sobriety of so many years!! As a recovering food addict, compulsiver overspender and codependent (I call my tri-core addiction) I know how far you have come for that to be a "reality". I could gush for hours here but "I hear ya, I know ya"and just plain WOW!!!

I am going to share the post I wrote earlier on my BLC group verbatim:

**From this day forward I am re-commiting to "get rid of my fat head".**

What does that mean?? It means that not only is there life after dieting but there will be a life of maintaining being a "goal weight, an end weight or normal weight"; whichever term you prefer. I am fortunate that I also belong to a group on another site where there are three-four people who are presently "maintaining" their weight loses-anywhere from 70-100 lbs. One man has maintained his weight lose of 81 lbs for 6 years. I want to be where they are at!! How about you?? How badly do you want to be at your "goal weight, end weight, normal weight?" What are you willing to do to get there? Here's one more quote but an important one.

"If you fail to plan, then we plan to fail."

Every year in the past including last year I have allowed myself to believe that during the holidays it was "open season": to eat foods not on a healthy food plan, to not exercise, to not drink water, to not get a decent night's sleep, to not practice what I usually try to do so I will succeed at [losing weight for good]. I have had the mis-belief that I "deserved time off for good behavior". As if I were a sailor docking from a long journey at sea and I was allowing myself a three month pass to "party hard".

Is this resonating with any one else here?

Well, NO MORE!! My "Personal Challenge" to Pam (although anyone who wants to do this "unofficially" can be my guest) is:

From October 1-January 1:

I am going to:
1)stay within my recommended calorie range
2)drink at least 8 cups of H20 each day
3)move, move, (burn 200 cal per day per BLC recommendation)
4)no empty calories!---that includes Halloween candy, desserts at Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas cookies and New Year's Eve bubbly.

I also want to raise the bar and lose 25 lbs by the first of the New Year. Every New Year in the past I have started it out by being an average of 10 lbs heavier from all of the holiday "noshing".

This is staring down my "fat head" that says that it is "okay" to over eat and/or eat the wrong kinds of foods that do NOT support my weight lose goals. I am tired of sabotaging all of my hard work at the drop of a hat.

My wake up call came this week when I had one restaurant meal each day from Monday-Friday followed by 1/2 dozen chocolate chip cookies last night and a weight GAIN of 5 lbs all because of my "wrong" belief that since I am now working out harder, I "deserve" to eat more!! WRONG! WRONG!:mad:

I dug my own hole and I walked right into it.I am making this public for the accountability to show my mistakes, my intent and my resolve.

Today is a new day and I have "dragons to slay".:devil:

10-01-2011, 09:53 PM
Hi Everyone,

Good day OP, started with a 60 minute hike with my sister. Weather threatened rain but held off until we got back to our cars. I'm giving myself credit for getting up those hills, it had been a couple of years since I had been to the park we went to. There's a great view of the whole city and mountains in the distance and the colors are starting to change (although apparently they are not too dramatic here as told to me by my DH who is from Ontario originally).

Thanks for the suggestions on the calorie counting, pamatga, BBE and gardenerjoy. I've been on 1500 calories for about 5 months now so am going to try the calorie cycling with the suggested amount on the website link you sent pamatga. I am also going to look into that pedometer as it sounds interesting. Not sure where I can get one in Canada but my parents are going to Arizona for a month in November so could have them pick one up for me.

Tomorrow is Zumba class again, will decide in the morning if the weather is conducive to riding my bike. It's really cooling off here. Looks like some of my zuchinni leaves got some frost last night. :( Well it had to happen sooner or later.

Have a good night everyone and I'll check in again tomorrow.

10-02-2011, 12:38 AM
Hello Coaches,

I've been lurking as usual, and thought I'd pop in to say hi. I'm committed to my daily Beck skills, and know they keep me on track with my health goals. Your posts inspire me every day.

My garden is about done for the year. I picked the last cantaloupe today, and gathered the last okra. I've canned lots of salsa, and we have enjoyed so many vegetables all season, that hopefully will keep us healthy through the winter. I hope everyone has gotten the chance to have some garden fresh tomatoes. They are wonderful right how, at least here in Colorado.

I can't wait to hear how the Beck session goes. Of all the dieting books I have read, her approach really makes a huge difference for me. I always struggled with 'how do I get myself to do it' thoughts. Her answers seem basic, but they are so powerful.

Take care, coaches, and keep up the great work. Each of you is making a really positive impact on yourself and others when you come to this forum and post about your lives. I really appreciate it.


10-02-2011, 07:12 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Had sushi for dinner; CREDIT moi because it must be impossible to overeat sushi. Gotta give credit to Home Depot. As much as these big stores bug me, yesterday was an occasion when one of their staff - a retired plumber - carefully explained how to do a better job of what I was planning to do replacing a cutoff valve. I remember that kind of support from the old stores that were put out of business by Home Depot and the other super stores.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Sending emotional support as you face family needs. Yep, exercise helps when stressed.

pamaga – Ouch for five restaurant meals in five days - with Kudos for making a plan for recovery. Love the quote, "If we fail to plan, then we plan to fail."

maryann - Congrats on those 24 years, and Congrats again on making and sticking to a budget. [Kindly ask you DH to be careful when harvesting the walnuts this week - the last bag of 'halves' I bought had three broken ones.]

Tazzy - Your 60 minute hike sounds like much fun - love walking in hills to stress the body while offering a reward for gaining altitude.

Woodland - Kudos for planning, growing, harvesting, and putting up so many veggis for the winter. I remember so fondly as a kid that everybody had shelves of canned stuff.

Lovely – Yay for a lot of exercise - a good start to October.

Val (va1erie) – Waving toward the Beck workshop. Have an enlightening weekend. [This restaurant's portion of brown rice was, maybe, 3x what I'd choose at home, so eating half was more than I needed, but not particularly 'overeating' for my own restaurant allowance.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Waving toward the Beck workshop (again); hope it meets your expectations. Let us know if she offers any insights on how to be good Diet Coaches/Buddies in an online forum. [All old threads remain available to read. The list of them all is in a sticky thread at the top of this Beck forum, with a pointer to it in the first post of each month, ]

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.

True hunger is what you feel when you have fasted for several hours. Your stomach is empty, and you are experiencing hunger pangs. A craving is a physiological and emotionally intense urge to eat. A desire to eat is when you are not particularly hungry, but you just feel like eating. Thirst is marked by a dry feeling in your mouth or throat. When you're upset, stressed, or bored but your stomach isn't empty, you're experiencing a negative emotion - you’re not truly hungry.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg. 73.

10-02-2011, 09:34 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (down 1.2), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite all day, really a day of good eating (yay, me!) considering I spent over four hours in the car and ate every meal in restaurants. Breakfast was a cheese & egg crepe in Carlisle PA and I left almost half, lunch was a bowl of ramen at a Vietnamese noodle shop and I left probably 3/4 the noodles and all the pork (it was too fatty for me) and just had the broth, seaweed, and fishcakes. Dinner was a lobster and avocado salad, had to force myself to leave a bite with that one. Got over 10,000 on my ped because of the tour of Dickinson, contacted my diet buddy.

I'm in Philadelphia with Robin! We head to the Beck workshop in about an hour and a half. I'm already down in the restaurant at the hotel, don't expect her for probably half an hour at least so I decided I'd run my email and post here. The hotel rate for the workshop attendees includes the breakfast buffet. I hate breakfast buffets. I dislike all buffets, really, but I really REALLY don't like breakfast buffets. There's seldom anything on it I want to eat, the food quality is generally low, and there's always that ALCE buffet pressure to "get your money's worth." Fat people order the buffet. :) And so here I sit thinking, "I could just order off the menu and screw the fact my rate includes free breakfast."

Robin looks GREAT! I never knew her when she was heavy -- she started posting on the other forum's thread after she'd already lost like 70 pounds -- but she is slender and pretty and fit-looking. :) We had dinner together last night, very fun to finally meet her!

Lovely -- Good for you for avoiding an all-or-nothing mentality. You don't have to plan PERFECTLY this week. You just have to plan better than you did last week. That's always how I set my goals: do better than I did (yesterday/last week/last month.) When I was actively losing, my goal was always "weigh less this month than I did last month." :)

Robin -- I WANT YOUR COAT! :) (Robin's got the cutest fire-engine red coat with shirring and ruffles around the hem.)

Debbie -- good for you for not wanting to "eat the problem away." You know you can't; the problem will still be there whether you overeat or not. Best wishes for your sibling-stress.

maryann -- October's my favorite month, too! Fall in Ohio is gorgeous -- clear blue skies, cool temperatures, generally very little rain, and the seasons are changing so the trees are fantastic. Congratulations on 24 years of sobriety, on meeting your exercise goal for three months straight (yay, you!), and on being underbudget! :) Wow, on donating all your clothes. I'm still too afraid to do that. One of my issues when I'm heavy is that I don't want to spend money on clothes that are in a size I don't want to be. So as I climb the scale and reach each new size I end up in schmatta, which turns me into a near-hermit because I don't want to leave the house looking like that, until I finally give in and buy something, often only because I HAVE to because I have an event I need to attend, anything from parent-teacher conferences to dinner invitations to weddings. So while I totally buy into the idea that donating the larger sizes is one more bit of motivation, it's causes me too much anxiety. Maybe someday I'll get there. Good for you for letting go of nagging yourself -- if you are comfortable and healthy and your hubby is thrilled, you're golden! :)

Oops, Robin's here, I'll finish later!

10-02-2011, 01:14 PM
Good Day yesterday. I planned for a Little choc. cake I made to celebrate my sobriety date. I learned how to cook dry chickpeas DH got free from our coop. Yum. I planned a menu for the week that includes homemade pasta - In ever made homemade pasta before. I cleaned out TWO closets of C.R.A.P. I love those kinds of day, close to home, full of productivity. It ended with all three of us in our bed watching a chick flick and DS with his drawing pads creating imaginary friends. One day, I will know I have become a good writer if I could ever convey the beauty of such a day.
Dinner with friends at a big steakhouse. I plan to order double side of vegies and steal 3 oz of DH steak.
Valerie: How exciting for you. Making connections, further learning at the workshop. I love the periods in my life when things start to be new because I finally let go of the old stuff that doesn't work. You should get a "new" red coat just for the symbolism of it.
BBE: Isn't it amazing when you run smack into quality somewhere where you least expect to find it? A good customer service rep, a good priest, an honest contractor. They make our journey so much easier.
Tazzy: credit for being willing to look at the calories. I understand plateau. I plateaued at 165- 170 for about 10 years after getting under 200 pounds. I was just so happy not to be obese anymore I didn't care THAT MUCH I was stuck. Two Augusts ago I found Beck and made a huge discovery - what a stomach feels like when it moderately full. It gets a little concave in the morning and then feels empty. It was the empty that was the most terrifying to me. These days, when I allow myself to be empty - not hungry - light, I lose but I am not always willing to do that. I just continue to re teach myself what healthy feels like.
Pamatga: I am with you in planning for the holidays. Nothing tastes as good as healthy eating FEELS. When I am OP I can focus on the real joys of the season - family, friends, love.

10-02-2011, 02:17 PM
GD :sunny: everyone :coffee2:

maryann I just think you did convey to us what a beautiful day that was. I have had many days like that but I never appreciated them at the time.:( It takes sobriety to live in the "Eternal Now".

It sounds like so many of us are in the closet-cleaning mode. I just got finished my most recent one. Val, maybe someday you feel like you can "let go". The last time I did what you were describing was two years ago. I was at my all-time heaviest. I bought close to $1000 in fall/winter clothes because I was going to prepare taxes for HRB and I needed some "professional" clothes. I too cancelled a lot of social outings simply because I hated how I looked, how I felt how I looked, and you know the rest.

I am so glad that I gave away all of my fat clothes, some of which I never even wore because when I tried them on, I hated how I looked in them. I mean, how can a 300 lb woman look professional in a two piece business suit? Yuck! I looked like Boxcar Willie. The only thing I got compliments on was my hairstyle.

Well, fast forward. I still have a long way to go from where I want to end up but at least now I have a recognizable female figure, thanks to all the toning I have been doing this past summer. I don't feel like hiding out any more. In fact, if it weren't so hard for me to get around physically, I would be outdoors enjoying the beginning of our long and beautiful fall season now here.I have signed up for more social activities at our church besides my standing Friday night Bible study. I don't feel as self-conscious about "having let myself go". In fact, now I feel like I want others to see all the hard work I have done this past summer.

My late fall goal is to be able to take a long walk outdoors on Thanksgiving Day.

Hope you and Robin are enjoying your weekend together. We all are anxious to hear how things went for you two. I agree with maryann--get yourself a red trench coat. If I were where you are I would drag you out and take you shopping. You would not return empty-handed. I know I would. I spent three hours online Friday night looking at shoes--glorious shoes---that I want to buy. I told my DH "If only I were an octopus!! I need more feet!":o

Stats for 10/1:
**1677 calories 26 g fiber 3029 mg sodium
***no weight-bearing exercises due to re-injury of left knee [treating w NSAIDs]
**F/V:lite grape cranberry juice, red grapes, raisins, v-8 juice, raw carrots
**no empty calories(includes no added sugar)

Day 1 of my new "Personal Self Challenge". 91 to go until January 1st. :woohoo:

10-02-2011, 09:37 PM
Later check in tonight for me. Some days I decide that everyone in my house spends too much time staring at screens so at 2pm today I implemented "no screen time". That takes in computers, laptops, TV's, video games and iphones. Not always popular but it did get all of us outside for a couple of hours and the kids and I enjoyed a badminton game. We won't get many more nice days like this so it's best to take advantage of them.

Got to Zumba this morning, did end up driving as it was only 2C (about 34F) plus my calf muscles are really hurting after yesterday's hike and I knew after Zumba class that riding my bike uphill would really push it and I had more things I wanted to do today. So still credit for going to the class. :exercise:

Weighed this morning and am still the same. Trying the calorie cycling this week to see if that helps. I'm also going to give myself a challenge for October and that will be the to get 930 minutes of exercise this month. I know my Zumba classes count for 60 at least so that will be a good start, I also want to get away from my desk during the day for at least a 15 minute walk around the block.

I'm going to go and figure out how to add that ticker on my signature now. Enjoy what's left of the weekend.

10-03-2011, 01:11 AM
I've lost 10 pounds in the last 4 weeks. That explains some of the problems I've been having with hunger, fatigue, and general grumpiness. I don't need to be losing weight that quickly at this stage of things. I made three changes a month ago -- reduced my breakfast size, reduced my snack size, and limited myself to one snack. I think that getting my snacking behavior back under control had extra benefits -- I started being more careful all of the time since I was being so careful with snacks.

So, I want to add a little food, but not so much that I start gaining like I did in July and August. Given the problems I've been seeing in the late afternoon, I'm going to start having a second afternoon snack, but keeping both of them small.

WI: -0.4kgs, Exercise: +25 45/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

10-03-2011, 05:28 AM
Hello Beck friends!

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I did make many good choices and stayed in my calorie range, even though I overate the SF cake I brought home from the church potluck. The remainder is now in the compost. *credit* I did manage to fit 10 minutes of intense pool jogging in before church. NO CHOICE, and engaged in a distraction technique by sitting in front of our church with 2000 pumpkins looking for new homes. I drank my water and resisted the candybars being passed around by the kids. I'm constantly reminding myself that I am entering a short time in my long life where emotions may be very intense as I try to assist my sibling, and am keeping MY program on the front burner.*credit*

BillBlueEyes, *credit* for not overeating sushi….I'm reminded, though, that it is possible to overeat almost anything.

Pam(atga), I'm excited about your walk outside by Thanksgiving goal and am reminded from my own experience how taking off more pounds makes those walks easier, too. *credit* for making a new WL goal, too.

maryann, belated Congrats! on your 24 yr sobriety celebration. Thanks for sharing your special moments both with your family and with your continued quest to maintain your healthy relationship with food VIA Beck.

Val(va1erie), I always love hearing the success of NOT eating something when it is just not suitable. *credit* for seriously modifying your Vietnamese noode soup. Looking forward to your post regarding the Beck workshop.

Woodland, thanks for checking in with a report about your continued Beck successes and your beautiful Colorado garden. I still have your salsa recipe...haven't made any this year, though.

Tazzy, great that you were able to get a hike in with your sister before it rained. With weather predictions, it might have been just as easy to stay home. *credit*

Robin(4EverLearning), I :lol: Bringing your cards to a Beck workshop just seemed right. *credit* for taking care of the minor details. Looking forward to your workshop report, too.

Lovely, I relate to your comment, "I feel as though when one thing is off in my world that everything gets a little shifted." Yes, and I am reminded by my yoga's not practice makes perfect but that practice makes practice. I firmly believe we keep practicing our Beck skills and that it does get easier, as our habits are practiced day in and day out.

gardenerjoy, kudos for losing the 10# AND for recognizing the effect it had on other aspects of your life.

10-03-2011, 05:56 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - A good on-plan dinner last night, CREDIT moi, of hand-me-down leftovers, LOL. 'Hand-me-down' because a friend dropped off the contents of their fridge before leaving for the airport and they'd just been to a good restaurant - now I've gotta find out where.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats on those 10 pounds - Ouch that it's too fast for you. Hope you give yourself a reward anyway.

pamaga – Love your goal of "a long walk outdoors on Thanksgiving Day" - nothing feels better after a big meal.

maryann - Smiling at the image of your DS snuggled between the two of you (where he feels really safe) drawing imaginary friends. Neat plan for the big steakhouse.

Tazzy - Yep, Kudos for getting to that Zumba class even when you didn't feel like it. Neat idea to declare "no screen time" - kids need a little leadership from that sink hole.

Val (va1erie) – Ouch for those hotel breakfast buffets; I hate them also. They always seduce me to overeat to get my money's worth. The worst I ever did was to make one of those do-it-yourself waffles - it was just Wonder Bread and it held about a gallon of fake butter and fake maple syrup! Hope your Beck workshop is going well.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Waving toward the Beck workshop. Can't wait to hear about it.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.

Once you learn to differentiate between hunger and non-hunger sensations - and what to do when you notice them - you will be better able to stick to your plan. Over time, you may recognize that you tend to desire unplanned food at certain times of the month, at certain times of the day (especially when you are tired, bored, or procrastinating), at certain events, when you're feeling negative emotions, or even when you're happy. If you can figure out your triggers, you'll be better pre-pared to stand firm and stick to your predetermined plan by telling yourself, No wonder I want to eat ... I usually do at this time ... But it doesn't matter; I'm definitely not going to eat now ... It's worth it to me (and my diet) to resist.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pgs. 73-74.

10-03-2011, 07:35 AM
Hi Coaches :)

I am way behind, so I will just update on me. I have been in bed with a sprained ankle and skinned (bad) knee, foot, and a bunch of scrapes on my leg. Plus a skinned hand and it feels like I wrenched it :( No exercise for me :(

I did stick to eating well though.

10-03-2011, 10:01 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (down 1.4 to my lowest weight so far, 110.6), which puts me into the range I kept myself at from freshman year of college to my first pregnancy at 31. Definitely a fun number to see on the scale, but I'm not expecting it to stick. Ate very mindfully, though not particularly slowly, and made very good choices. I had breakfast and lunch with Robin (amazing how eating with another person watching her calories carefully will keep you on the straight and narrow!) while attending the Beck workshop. Had dinner alone here in a restaurant in Lancaster PA, had half an excellent cheeseburger, two of my onion rings (good but not good enough to overeat), one bite of cole slaw (not worth eating) and a glass of Sangria, so very reasonable dinner. Counted calories for the first time in months -- ended up with 1253, which is ~200 under my maintenance goal. Got no exercise -- we'd been planning to walk to and from the workshop, but it was cold and rainy and we were in "business casual" which for both of us meant heels, so we drove instead. Contacted my diet buddy, but I don't think we actually ever gave each other a formal report. :)

pamatga -- Bummer on the injury! Knee injuries are my bane. Right now one of my main goals (and anxieties) is to avoid injury. I hope your knee feels much better soon! Good for you for declaring holiday season NOT "open season." 25 pounds is a LOT in three months -- that's nearly 2 pounds per week for 13 weeks, which is a very big number for ANYONE. Since your normal pattern is to gain 10# during that time, losing 25 means that you'll be eating 35 pounds x 3500 calories = 122,500 calories LESS than you normally would during this time. That's 1361 calories PER DAY less than you "normally" would for the next 90 days. I'm just sayin'. Be gentle with yourself. Remember that it's not a race.

Tazzy -- Omron pedometers are also on Amazon -- that's where I got mine! Love it! yay, you for the long hike! What is calorie cycling? Was that discussed here and I missed it?

Woodland -- I'm so bummed that the tomatoes will be over soon! This is the only time of year I eat them. I take them off salads and burgers the rest of the year -- bad tomatoes just ruin it for me.

BBE -- I have to laugh on sushi being impossible to overeat -- I should introduce you to my 20-yo son! He has been known to order four or five sushi dishes and finish them all. I don't know where he puts it. Fortunately for his future weight issues, sushi IS the only thing he overeats! He has the healthiest eating habits of any kid his age I know.

maryann -- yay, you, for planning your steakhouse meal! You're right, I need a red coat! :)

gardenerjoy -- Yay, you for refining your maintenance plan so well! Yes, 10 pounds is a LOT to lose in 4 weeks, especially when you were only eleven pounds from goal!

Debbie -- Good for you for dealing with stress by reminding yourself it will pass.

BelovedK -- omigosh, did you have a fall? I hope the sprain feels better soon!

The workshop...well, it was okay. The workshop was tag-teamed by Beck and her daughter Debbie, who is an LSW and does diet counseling, and both did a good job. It was aimed at both diet counselors and dieters, so that sort of diluted the helpfulness for me. And there were numerous people there who clearly had not read either book, so it actually was pretty basic, a lot of explaining the program. I really wanted to hear what new learnings they'd had since the most recent book, etc. There was some of that -- in response to a question, Beck discussed sleep and weight control. They discussed at length the National Weightloss Registry statistics and their implications for the Beck program ideas -- for instance, people who eat consistently, eat breakfast, had a medical trigger (such as a diagnosis of diabetes), limited their food variety, watched less than 10 hrs of tv a week, limited fast food were more likely to maintain. Those who eat for emotional reasons, eat quickly, eat until full, don't get enough sleep, or eat while distracted are less likely to. Increased meal frequency does NOT promote greater weightloss. Most successful maintainers get to a low point, regain a little, don't return to the lowest point, but don't regain further.

They discussed some sabotaging thoughts that they'd come up with additional responses for. For instance, the sabotaging thought: counting calories and planning meals takes too much mental energy. Helpful response: Being overweight takes mental energy, too -- you worry about how you look, how other people perceive you, about whether you have anything to wear, about your health, etc. Which would you rather spend your mental energy on? Sabotaging thought: It's counterproductive to feel deprived, so no diet can work. Helpful response: You're going to be deprived of some food occasionally or all your ARCs all the time. Which deprivation would you choose? Sabotaging thought (or message from food pusher): I just want to be able to eat normally/When are you going to start eating normally? Helpful response: I'm eating normally for someone who has my goals.

They shared a few study results that were interesting -- the more people you eat with, the more you'll eat. You'll also reflect the eating behavior of those you eat with -- if they order dessert, you're more likely to. There's some evidence that binge eating disorders actually develop from too-low-calorie diets.

Re: giving credit: Estimate is that we make 2000 eating decisions A DAY. That's 2000 opportunities to give yourself credit.

They shared a few new ideas they're incorporating into their counseling sessions. For instance, they recommend dieters take a 5 minute "fitness walk" (not just parking five minutes from your destination -- a planned walk that is JUST for fitness) EVERY DAY no matter what other planned/spontaneous exercise you're getting or can't get for whatever reason. It helps develop the habit.

One attendee, a teacher, noted that she tells her students to read aloud to themselves when studying because it puts that content into the brain in an extra way -- she suggested reading our ARCs aloud rather than silently.

I'd have liked to see a workshop aimed at people very familiar with the program. But this one was okay.

I did ask about the 1600-calorie bottom of the range. She said that there was evidence that people simply couldn't stick to 1200 calorie diets (even small people -- it has to do with mouth feel and some minimum bulk of food, maybe? Robin?) long term, even if that was what they needed to do to maintain, oh, say MY weight. :( Her response to my question about the calorie needs calculation (my calculated maintenance calories is 1450) is that I should not be trying to lose weight. Which I'm not, but my maintenance calculation when I WAS trying to lose weight was only slightly higher, which meant my dieting calories calc was about 1279, and I would definitely gain on 1600 unless I burned 500 calories a day in exercise. I got the feeling she'd had the question before and found it tedious.

The thing I would have liked to ask: How many calories do you eat? Because she is tiny -- maybe 5'1" -- and 57 years old and quite slender, and she mentioned at one point that she works out twice a week and has only started doing that in the past few years. Maybe she's a runner or something, but I can't imagine she could maintain on 1600 herself unless she's exercising like CRAZY.

Edit: they just posted a video on youtube of Beck's introduction of the workshop -- I'm in the front row in the white, Robin's beside me in black with her red coat hanging on the back of her chair:

10-03-2011, 09:16 PM
Good Evening Becksters,

Steakhouse dinner went well. Today was a struggle. I had to convince my principal to let me do some painting with my eighth graders. His position was it was a frill we have no time for. It just hit me as so sad. I got blue and dived into a half a big cookie and a couple of small chocolates. Still low. But OP for dinner and I think I'll just go to bed after I read some. There is nothing I can eat to make me feel better long term. There is no miracle bite. There is no problem that a compulsive bite can't make worse.
Thanks, Valerie for the info. It is terrific to get the updates and I appreciate your taking the time to write them down.

10-03-2011, 09:19 PM
Wow, no posts since Val's this morning! Where is everyone?

My flight home last night was delayed (at one point it looked like it would be cancelled completely, which was making me very nervous, since I had to be at school at 7:45 this morning and am scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning), and I didn't get home until almost 2AM, so I am very, very tired this evening. Fortunately a long meeting I was supposed to attend this afternoon and evening was cancelled, or I would have been in sorry shape by now. The good news is that I think I am tired enough to sleep tonight and not toss and turn with anxiety.

The very best part of the weekend was finally getting to meet Val and to have all of my wonderful impressions of her from all of our online conversations confirmed. Val, I would have used virtually the same exact words to describe you as you used to describe me (slender, pretty, and fit-looking), but you beat me to it! And, no, you can not have my red coat, although it would look adorable on you!

I was a little disappointed in the workshop itself since, as Val said, it was directed primarily at therapists rather than dieters, and so much time was spent going over the basics of the book, which of course we are already more than familiar with. But it was still good to have all those lessons reinforced. I think that while I am lounging on the couch for the next few days recovering from surgery, I will reread the Beck books and take note of tasks that I still need to work on. There may even be a few I never did at all.

I did not like the way Beck responded to Val's question about the 1600 calorie minimum she recommends. I agree with you, Val; the tone of her response definitely indicated that she has been asked that question many times before and doesn't like defending her stance on that issue. She really didn't explain WHY it is so hard for people to stick with a lower calorie level long-term, so you didn't miss anything. She simply said that the empirical evidence indicates that it is nearly impossible to stay on a lower calorie diet indefinitely, and therefore she doesn't recommend doing it even temporarily, since you would then inevitably regain when you can no longer stay at that low level. (But I have been staying under 1500 calories a day, and averaging probably 1250-1300 a day, for over 2.5 years now and think I could do it forever if need be. And the benefits of being thin are legion--so much so that eating very sparely is TOTALLY worth it to me. That being said, I am still ever-so-slowly creeping down the scale and am hoping that I can level out at something like 1500 daily calories, which is a lot easier to do than 1200.)

Oh, I remember one thing from the workshop that Val did not already say--Beck said she periodically "eavesdrops" on online groups that are using her program, including this one. So everyone be on their very best behavior!! ;)

my report: My weight was unchanged from 2 days ago--YAY!! (Didn't take my scale with me since I was flying.) Did not read my cards. Did eat slowly and mindfully. Had an awesome session with my personal trainer during my lunch hour (don't normally try to squeeze a session into the middle of a work day but did today because I won't be able to do any more exercise for the rest of this week). The session was also very amusing. Until recently, I had never tried to run, ever. I was too fat and uncoordinated to ever run or play when I was a kid, and I was excused from most gym classes. But my trainer has had me run several times, and so I thought, well, that I was running!! But today he announced that now that I am over my fear of trying to run, it is time to start working on my form. He ran alongside me and counted out his strides, telling me to listen to my own feet hit the floor in relationship to his counting. I discovered that I was taking about 4 teeny "running" steps to every one step of his. He has been trying to work on coordination with me in a variety of ways, which is always a terrible struggle for me. For instance, I am never able to move my arms in opposition to my feet when I try to run. Today he told me that that is because my feet are moving SO absurdly fast that my arms can not possibly keep up! He demonstrated for me what I look like when I run, and I practically fell over laughing. I can not believe that he has managed to keep a straight face all this time, watching me do something that is so ridiculous-looking! And now that I realize how fast my feet were moving, it is no wonder that running is so incredibly exhausting to me! But at least my way burns up a lot of calories!! :D

OK, I still have a lot to do tonight, so I need to sign off. Tomorrow is my 57th birthday. Having surgery is not the way I wanted to spend it. But I still feel happy and grateful for all the wonderful things my weight loss journey has brought me, and I have lots to look forward to in the coming year. Life is a gift!


10-03-2011, 11:29 PM
Thank you to the ladies who shared their Beck workshop experience. I'm heading over to watch the youtube clip.

My experience with managing food intake has taught me that it is a balance between portions (or calories in my case) and exercise frequency/intensity.

So for me the journey continues, as I figure out how to regularly fit helpful exercise into my week, which then impacts how any set calorie level will raise or lower my weight over time. I watch the trends, and adjust the plan based on results.

Tomatoes are going into my scrambled eggs lately. The last few batches will probably be frozen, as they are coming in more slowly now and don't add up to a batch of canned salsa anymore. I think I got about 30 pints of salsa made this year - it was a good garden season ! :carrot:


10-03-2011, 11:34 PM
Evening Everyone!

Quick check in tonight, still need to get lunches and such done for tomorrow. Plus dealing with a sick child who has graciously decided to share his cold with me. Think I'll head to bed early to try and ward it off.

Only got a 10 minute walk in today for exercise. Credit for that. Also stayed OP for food, it is a lower calorie day for me. va1erie the calorie cycling that pamataga sent me a link for basically takes the weekly amount of calories and divides it up differently each day so you have low days and high days and in theory it should shake things up. I try to stay with 1500 per day so it gives me a breakdown of the following: day 1 - 1546, day 2 - 1400, day 3 - 1856, day 4 - 1546, day 5 - 1400, day 6 - 1701 and day 7 - 1546. It's on the 1400 days that I really need to plan well and get good filling foods in there.

pamataga Love the new avatar!

BBE Hand me down leftovers. Nice gift to you, I always seem to get things like a half a head of lettuce or half jug of milk!

Lexxiss Credit for 10 minutes of pool jogging and passing on the candy bars. I resisted buying Halloween candy while grocery shopping yesterday, it's much too early to bring those into the house. I figure about Oct 29 or 30 will be a good day to purchase them. Then I try to get ones that I don't like so they are not so tempting.

gardenerjoy congrats on your 10 pound weight loss and recognizing that a second afternoon snack is necessary.

4Everlearning and va1erie Thanks for the feedback on the Beck session.

:wave: Hello to everyone else!

10-03-2011, 11:42 PM
I began reading the earlier posts around 2 p.m. this afternoon but my DH came home earlier than I expected and my "plans" were changed at the drop of a hat. I ate out again (we said we would only eat out once a week "moving forward") but I was very pleased with my choices. I am sorry you all don't have some of the restaurants that we routinely go to: the food is fresh, nutritious, huge endless variety and yes I can follow my food plan while dining there. I had a huge salad today: fresh spinach leaves as the base, piled with red onion, green peppers, fresh mushrooms, ripe red tomatoes, topped with some medium rare sirloin steak strips. I built the salad myself. I put the dressing off to the side so I dipped the tip of whatever was on my fork into it. Then, I had baked white fish, one small piece of corn on the cob (no butter) and 1/2 slice of No Sugar blueberry pie (which is the best!). The rest of the day was mostly fruit and about 7 raw almonds.

A small store very near us is doing a major facelift and they now carry a full line of organic foods at much more competitive prices than either Trader Joe or Whole Foods with recognizable brands like Bob's Red Mill. Finally, I am going to try steel mill oats. That was also a "big hit" over on the SBD thread here. I always used to shop at this store when I wanted to try something really unique that I couldn't find anywhere else. Now, I have another good reason to shop as well.

I stopped at our organic garden. Our "baby sprouts" are up already. I spread my banana peels in between the rows and under the tomato "tree". I have at least a dozen green tomatoes that I could count. (the banana peels are absorbed by the soil and provide lots of good nutrients--not chemicals --for the emerging plants--they also annoy a certain tomato bug from doing any damage to the tomato plant--I guess, that bug doesn't like the color yellow although these peels quickly turned black).

I had to rearrange my kitchen cupboards again since I brought home some of this new largesse. I need to expand my pantry. That is on my weekend "to-do" list.

Well, the left knee and leg is getting better slowly. I did walk on it today very slowly but I was able to put my weight on it as long as I used my cane.
Yesterday, I did a "work around": I did my lower, upper and neck strengthening exercises.

Thank you Val and Robin for sharing, in such detail, your experience at the workshop. By the sound of it, I think I would have been frustrated by the tempo of the talk. I haven't read the green book yet although I have the pink one. Is there somewhere in the green book that talks about maintaining our end weight on 1600 calories per day??

In the past, I have always heard that when you get to your end/goal weight, you continue to eat the same reducing food plan for 2 weeks, check your weight and then add 100 calories per day for one week, keep checking your weight to see if you are continuing to lose weight. If you are continuing to lose weight, then you keep adding another 100 calories per week until you see what your body will "allow" to maintain and then that is what you continue with. Of course, if you are a person whose life and schedule is erratic then you might have to be even more fastidious about doing this since you may have to see how your body responds to more "ups and downs". This is the only thing that I have ever heard about making the transition from a reducing food plan to a maintenance food plan.

In my own personal experience(as recent as 2007-2008), I have noticed that when I exercise, like walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes 5x a week, if I stop exercising (which I have done for one reason or another) I can "maintain" that weight I was at the time I quit the exercising for about two months before I begin to regain some weight. To me, this experience clearly shows me the importance of metabolism and its relationship to both losing weight and maintaining a weight lose.

Val, are you maintaining a recent weight lose or are you working towards a lower body weight? I know you mentioned awhile ago that a dr. you had seen told you that you could "never be too thin". There is a theory "out there" that believes that if we are 10% less than our lowest weight for our height, etc that we will increase our longevity. I have seen programs on tv where the scientists who believe this have given their argument to that outcome. It was interesting although I have no opinion one way or the other regarding that. I guess, I just feel like I need to be at a much lower weight before I seriously consider that "theory".

The lowest weight I have been at this current height was 119 lbs. I conceived my only child at that weight. As I gained weight, I became infertile. It wasn't intentional but it was one other unfortunate outcome of being obese. Although I have only lost around 43-45 lbs I have also noticed some interesting changes in my reproductive cycle. I have 135 lbs as my goal or end weight. The insurance charts has a normal range for me between 121-165 lbs. As I get closer to those numbers, I will see how I feel. For now, 135 lbs was the median weight I maintained during my "normal relationship" with food.

Again, thank you for sharing your in-person experience at the Beck Diet Workshop. I had read the pink book when it first hit the shelves back in 2007 but I only read the first couple of chapters and thought it all seemed so "simple". However, like many profound truths in life: easier to read about than put into practice.;)


P.S. I am doing a Buddy Challenge over on Biggest Loser Club(which I also belong to) and I am incorporating that 5 minute "gotta move" into that. For me, it really helped me build a work out plan that was not only doable but has lead to more strength and stamina.

10-04-2011, 12:05 AM
Getting ready to go out of town on Wednesday -- today was food day, food for DH while I'm gone and food for me to take with me to minimize the restaurant meals. Credit for not eating while doing all of that thinking, planning, prepping, dishwashing, and more prepping!

WI: -0.05kgs, Exercise: +0 45/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

va1erie: love your report from the Beck workshop -- thanks! Sorry to hear that it was boring at times to people who actually read the book before they went. Some of those responses to sabotaging thoughts are really helpful. I always love seeing data from the National Weightloss Registry, too.
My response to the problem of volume of food on lower calorie dieting is more salad! It's not uncommon for me to have a 3-cup salad at lunch and another at supper.

4EverLearning: something doesn't seem quite right about wishing you happy birthday and a quick recovery from your surgery in the same sentence. I hope you plan to find a way to celebrate our birthday properly after the surgery!

10-04-2011, 07:10 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Happiness is typing on my own computer, hard wired instead of wifi'd, running at the speed of light, listening to a rain so hard that Noah would have been impressed. Eating was just OK, CREDIT moi, because I got into DW's trail mix again - but I stopped instead of eating the whole jar, the thought of which sent me a signal that this probably wasn't hunger but desire per Beck's quote today.

Our new bathroom medicine cabinet opens wide with side mirrors to give 3 views of the head - kinda freighting in the early morning, LOL. I now know that I'm well past the point of needing a haircut - closer to looking like the guys asking for spare change.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yep, Big Kudos for "all of that thinking, planning, prepping, dishwashing, and more prepping!" It's so much more fun to celebrate it than to whine about it.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Kudos for SF cake to the compost; may your worms thrive on it. And Kudos for maintaining your perspective per, "a short time in my long life" for the emotional stuff you're dealing with.

pamaga – Interesting data point on your experience with exercise, metabolism, and maintaining. Sigh, I'd love to have access to the fresh foods available in Atlanta.

maryann - Kudos for eating well at the steakhouse. Big Ouch for the difficulty of sneaking the arts into kid's school time. Locally, teachers are bristling from being rated on their students' scores on standardized tests.

Tazzy - Yay for making calorie cycling work for you. [LOL at your "half a head of lettuce" - I've gotten those with the statement, "Feel free to throw any of this away, just don't tell us."]

Woodland - It continues to delight me reading about how much you've canned from your garden. Tomatoes with breakfast is one of the great ideas.

BelovedK – Ouch for the injuries, with Kudos for eating well anyway. Hope you heal quickly.

Val (va1erie) – Congrats on reaching your Freshman year of college weight - may it stick. Thanks for the summary of the Beck workshop. Love the Helpful Responses to Sabotaging Thoughts, particularly, "I'm eating normally for someone who has my goals." [LOL at your son taking down 5 sushi dishes, recalling watching that kind of eating when my son was a teenager and his friends visited.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Wishing you well with your surgery. Thanks for your observation on the Beck workshop. Love your story about discovering that you've been running with tiny steps; what a gift to learn that there's an easier way. Oh, and Happy Birthday.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.

What is That Sensation?
Hunger = The gnawing feeling in the pit of your empty stomach
Non-Hunger = The desire to eat when your stomach is not empty
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg. 74.

10-04-2011, 09:17 AM
Report: Read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully – pretty easy since I ate every meal alone – and got little exercise. Contacted my diet buddy.

maryann – the slip is past; what matters is what you did after, and you stopped. Yay, you!

Robin – oh, bummer! 2am! That sucks. Yeah, I didn’t understand the part about not doing 1200 even temporarily either. I wonder if it’s because of the way her plan works – she backs you down slowly with fewer calories each time you hit a long plateau until you reach some balance of how thin you are vs. how little you have to eat and decide to stay there, rather than dropping low to start with and then building back up for maintenance like practically every other diet plan in the world. And I really do buy into that plan vs. what other diets do. It makes absolute intuitive sense to me. But, still, why can’t I drop to 1400 and just lose REALLY slowly, then stay there if that's what I need to do? I don’t really care how slowly I lose.

Maybe the ban on 1200 even temporarily is because of the evidence that a very-low-cal diet is implicated in the development of binge eating, too? Though I'd still argue that "very low calorie" for a 5'2" 52-yo woman HAS to be different than "very low calorie" for a 6' teenage boy. THAT's the part she didn't really address, and I'd really like to see the research that says one size fits all when it comes to "very low calorie."

LOL on having to work on your running form! I’ve never heard of that! ☺ Your PT sounds like a gem! You have a habit of finding gems -- your doc, I remember, is also a gem. And of course there's MOI. :D

Re: the eavesdropping – yep! They said they like to listen to what dieters are saying about how the program is working for them. So ALL: if you have any feedback, they might actually see it here!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! The best thing about this birthday is that when it’s over, so is your surgery! If you’re seeing this, you’re DONE!

Woodland – yum on your salsa! I made tomatillo & yellow tomato salsa a few years ago and after a year still had jars of it in my pantry. My kids didn’t want greenish-yellow salsa. They wanted RED salsa. So Iprocessed ANOTHER bushel of RED tomatoes, opened all the pints of tomatillo salsa, added them to the toms, and recanned. These, they went through in under six months.

Tazzy – oh, I do that with WW, with points plus! I do 27/33/27/46/27/33/27. It really does work.

pamatga – Beck does the opposite. You start at a high level of calories, JUST low enough to allow you to lose. She wants you to lose as slowly as you can – like a pound a week or so. Then when you plateau, you decide whether you’re willing to drop down another 100 calories or if you’re happy where you are and with what you’re eating. So when you reach a plateau and are happy with your weight, you just stay where you are and eat at the level you've been eating at while losing. You don't add calories back in to attempt maintenance. You've already figured out what level of intake you need at this weight, because that's how you got to this weight. If you still want to lose more and think you can give up another 100 or 200 calories a day (or step up your exercise a 100 calories a day, as long as it's a level you can maintain forever), you give that a try. I really love this idea of losing very slowly and making the decision each time that it’s worth it to you to give up more food and lose more rather than starting everyone at 1300 calories and adding calories back in when maintenance starts. Beck’s plan seems much more organic to me.

I’m maintaining, although I’m still very very slowly losing. I’m not AVERSE to losing more, but I’m not trying to. My weight goes up and down about two or three pounds, and it’s right now at a low point. If this means I’m still continuing to slowly lose, that’s okay. I don’t know if I would be able to maintain much lower, though, so I’m not actively trying to lose any more. But I’m not actively trying NOT to lose, either, as my orthopedic surgeon would probably say that another ten pounds off would be fine. (I need two new knees, and he says the less I weigh, the longer the knees I have will last – the “no such thing as too thin” is specific to my condition, not a generalizable pronouncement.) But I’d be really, really thin at that point, and I seriously doubt I could maintain it. WOW, 119 at 5’7” is REALLY slender! Yes, I’ve heard of those folks who restrict their calories drastically in aid of longevity – I am not sure I could follow their path long term! ☺

gardenerjoy -- I’m a big salad eater, too! And broccoli and other veggies added into things. Whatever the recipe, I’ve developed a habit of halving the meat and fat, tripling the veggies. TOTALLY works for practically everything!

BBE – Hooray for having your own computer back! And hooray for recognizing the desire to eat vs. hunger with the trail mix. Does your wife –make- this trail mix?

I’m off to the Lancaster Public Market, the oldest public market in the country! It’s the reason I stopped in Lancaster on the way home from Philly and stayed two days – it’s not open Mondays, and I really wanted to see it. Then the 8-hr drive home.

Have a great on plan day, everyone!

10-04-2011, 09:51 AM
Hello Beck Friends!

I'm swamped with stuff, but it's important for me to keep up with all of you as best I can. I continue to keep my own needs a top priority. We went out to dinner last night with a good friend. *credit* for making a good choice, passing pasta to DH, leaving some on my plate then passing on dessert. Travel tomorrow so lots to do and think about today.

BillBlueEyes, great that your own computer is up and running. I love that notion of changing a behavior when I remember my Beck quotes.

maryann, sorry for your struggle with an unenlightened principal. Great that you could analyze and make a plan to get back on track right away.

Pam(atga), yay for working around your left knee and getting a workout anyway.

Val(va1erie), thanks for all the great info regarding calories, and such. Have a great time in Lancaster! Thanks for the workshop review.

Robin(4EverLearning), Happy Birthday and best wishes for your surgery and recovery!
Thanks, also, for the Beck workshop info.

BelovedK, I hope your ankle is improving daily.

Woodland, I'm always working on that balance between exercise and calories. It reminds me to exercise every day . A trend I've definitely found in Colorado is adjusting for the seasons. Yay for such a great garden season!

Tazzy, I hope you are on the mend soon. Glad to hear you've implemented calorie cycling.

gardenerjoy, safe travels tomorrow. Credit for getting all your food planning accomplished without eating

10-04-2011, 12:34 PM
Hi Becksters - company left last night. I had a wonderful visit with my family - especially my GS. He brings me so much joy.

I did not stay on my plan very well at all. I have a very difficult time with my plan being 'right on plan' or 'totally off plan'. I've struggled with that my whole life. I told my SIL she didn't need to bring anything - foodwise - for her visit. However, she brought two pies and a huge peacon coffee cake. I was feeling kind of 'shaky' about food in general. But... thought at least I wouldn't have to deal with pies/pasty. I had bought some ice cream and sprinkles (for my GS!) to have for a sweet treat during their visit. My 'taste' of things really went out of control. I was mad that my SIL brought the goodies when I asked her not to - but, ultimately, it's up to me whether or not I eat something.

My SIL had lost 80 pounds and she is gaining them back (sadly - as many folks do) I don't think she would have brought all those things has she been in a 'healthy eating' mode.

I got on the scale and gained three pounds.

So today I am going to hop back on my plan:

breakfast - 2% swiss on a rice cake
snack - pumpkin with cinn., smart balance margereine, sfsyrup
lunch - egg white salad, toast, cauliflower with t parm. cheese , grapes
snack - cereal, fruit, milk
dinner - turkey burger, 1/2 cup potato, veggie
snack - pnb on rice cake, sf pudding,

I'll be back to catch up.

Ya know... we/I can never stop trying because ya just don't know when it will 'take'.

10-04-2011, 01:56 PM
Back to catch up with some personals:

lexxiss/debbie - major credit for making all those good choices at the restaurant and making food/health a priority!

valerie - excellent contacting your buddy. It helps with problems and/or accountability.

Billbe - so glad you have your computer working. I had to laugh at the trail mix.. I was recently at Speedway Gas. I went in to get water. I noticed that had 'regular' trail mix. And, they had 'diet trail mix'. The diet trail mix had no M&M's in them. LOL

gardenerjoy - credit for no snacking has you did all those task in the kitchen and with food! Good for you - tweeking your plan because of realizing you were losing to fast to keep your energy up.

pam - your salad is inspiring me to get lots of greens, etc today at the grocery. so glad your knee is improving... slightly is better than not at all.

tazzy - sorry about the sick child - gosh I hope you don't get it too badly. Keep us posted on the calorie cycling.

maryann - congrats on your sobriety date celebration. Kudo's on fulfilling your exercise goal for so long!! - kudo's for continueing your use of the beck priniciples!

robin/4ever - kudo's for putting the cards in your purse!

Have a healthy day.

10-04-2011, 04:28 PM
GD :sunny: everyone :coffee2:

Val thank you so much for your detailed explanation of how Beck Diet approaches the calorie controversy. Is there any reason why you couldn't just try 1200 calories and see what happens? From what you have shared with us I think you are in such a healthy frame of mind that I don't think you would risk going overboard and eating only 4 oz of turkey breast for daily calories (like I used to do when I was in junior high).

I think some of the other suggestions here will help you fill the "empty feeling" with lots and lots of low calorie vegetables. Plus, that is what all the conventional wisdom right now leans towards---more fruits and vegetables and less animal meat and fat. My salad for Monday's lunch was a small mountain and yet the calories were under 300.

I think, you have identified a very good reason to get down to a lower weight. Your overall joint health. The current wisdom now is that in order to make joint replacement surgeries be more successful (ie, last longer) a person does need to do their "prep work" prior to undergoing surgery. I was offered knee replacement surgery back in 2003. I declined at the time because the pain was minimal (compared to today) and we were planning on moving cross country (at our own personal expense) and I felt that I couldn't afford to take time off from work.

Actually, I am glad that I waited. I was eating very unhealthy at that time although I was quite active. Now, I am hearing many obese people tell me their doctors refuse to do the surgery until they have strengthened their leg muscles and lost a significant amount of weight. I am really glad about this turn of events. In fact, this has given me even more incentive to do my "pre-surgery homework". I have known people who didn't do all they were "supposed to do" and a few years after the surgeries they are hobbling along. My heart just sinks when I see that happen.

Although you don't need my nod, I say, "Go for it." You have enough knowledge of your own body and how it works to just find the right weight that makes you and your doctor happy.

Robin :bday2you: and hope you are recuperating from your surgery and not in too much pain.

beverlyjoy Oh Boy! I feel for your SIL and for you. As anyone can remember some of my earliest posts (and sometimes even recently) I can really get my wires crossed as to what I am doing and why I am here. I remember admitting that I made a "personal challenge" of fitting in 1 1/2 dozen cupcakes into a weekend forage last February. Ouch! What the heck was I thinking of? You all must of thought I lost my marbles. Well, in a way I had. It goes back to being at cross purposes with yourself. I think that is where your SIL is.

First of all, how naive of me to even admit it. I never once thought you all would say "What a putzs!" (or at least not to my face anyway) However, I admit I am compulsively honest sometimes, even if it puts me in a bad light. Plus, I have personal accountability burned in my brain by now. I always remember one of my oft-quoted 12 Steps sayings: "You are as sick as your secrets." So, I choose to live my life as an open book. Yes, it does mean sometimes, you are going to see me "sick" but often you can also see my "come backs". I fall off the horse but I do get right back on. I know that to be one of my strengths.

I had some kind of epiphany this past summer. I am not even sure when that happened. I realized that I am not going to allow my fears of hurting someone else's feelings or my own fears about my sexuality stop me from running towards and embracing being healthy. I am not sure if your SIL would have been open to it at a family gathering but maybe at some time you could have a talk with her about how she is feeling about her own weight lose issues. Sometimes, when we help another person we help ourselves in the process.

I brought a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water to an early morning meeting a couple of weeks ago. I spent so much time on "getting ready" that I didn't have time to eat. Since I knew going into that meeting that there would be lots of good and bad carbs waiting to be consumed, I wanted to head it off at the pass. I did get a couple of interesting looks but I satisfied my appetite and I wasn't even tempted to look in the direction of the "goodies".

Side note: This has been one of my visual aids at buffets or any kind of group gathering where food is prominently displayed. (I found out later that some study found this to be an effective way to under-eat at buffets). I find a place that is the farthest away from the food (on display) and I sit at an angle where I don't even see it. Then, all I can focus on is what I have in front of me.

Bill Not to tempt you any more than you already are but your "love affair" with your DH's trail mix had me remembering when I used to eat one that was seasoned with "cajun"-style spices that was out of this world. It had different nuts and seeds in a very heavily spiced coating. The bag was the equivalent of a horse's feed bag. That was long before I joined this group but I used to sit at the computer, eat with one hand, grab some water afterwards, wipe my mouth, over and over again. It was that good!! I just bought something called "chocolate antioxidant blend" that I plan on putting into muffins (it has dark chocolate chunks, dried cranberries, cherries, almond slivers, whole almonds and something else). I tried a wee bit to see what it tasted like. OOOOOoooooo, it was "bad".:D

Lexxiss, maryann, tazzy, woodland Heeeey from here! :dizzy:

Stats for 10/3:
**completed day 3 of 92 days of "No Empty Calories" (inlcudes sugar)
**1849 calories 27 g fiber 2747 mg sodium
**walked 3000 steps with cane! Slowly!
***F/V: red grapes, fresh spinach, corn on the cob, green peppers, red onions, fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, cranberries, blueberries.

Credit: had the desire last night to eat for nearly 5 hours but didn't and yes the stomach was a little empty towards the end. I had a cup of skim milk to take with my night pills then went to bed. "Rewarded" with more of the sodium-induced weight gain lost (this time hopefully forever). Kept busy with different things on my computer and listened to some favorite music and yes, at times, I did forget that I wanted to eat. The more I practice this the more empowered I feel about doing this.

I am really enjoying some of the topics we have been discussing the past several days. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to stop here and share what is "on their plate". It means a lot to me and I am an eager student to learn.

Love ya all :grouphug: Pam

10-04-2011, 09:05 PM
Good Evening Coaches:
Not as blue today. Weight down .4lb but substituted a few items although I allowed for calories. I am playing a game with the budget. Didn't go food shopping this week but making sure we all get plenty of produce - banana pumpkin smoothies (DS loves), split pea soup homemade, chickpea stew, dried apricots, pears from our pear tree, etc. . . I spent the grocery money on tixs in Dec. to ride on the Polar Express. Santa is coming.
Tazzy: I think you hit it on the head when you said the 1400 calorie days need lots of planning. This is very true. I find that I really need to think about nutrition dense foods. I need calorie "bargains" like beans, eggs, spinach, strawberries. If i just eat powerbars and Diet Coke, I am run down (Although let me tell you I like power bars and diet coke"
BBE: I am not going anywhere with three multi view mirrors.
Beverljoy: Thanks for sharing your plan.
4everlearning: good luck with your surgery
lexxiss: good for you for making time to keep up with the group. I know you have many care giving duties.

10-05-2011, 12:10 AM
I'll be gone to a conference for the rest of the week and probably won't post. The food plan is breakfast and snacks (if any) in my room using food from home. I seem to be much more willing to make good choices while eating out if my breakfast and snacks are the familiar healthy foods I normally eat. Otherwise, I'll focus on veggies and tiny servings.

WI: +0.25kgs, Exercise: +35 80/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

10-05-2011, 05:45 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - I am Martha Stewart, me. We're temporarily back to taking our showers in the tiny bathroom in the attic while the window is replaced in our (relatively small) regular bathroom. So I suggested clear shower curtains all around the claw foot bath tub hosting the shower; being able to see all four walls at all times reduces the constant awareness that it's a closet sized room. Viva shameless trompe l'oeil, LOL.

Inconveniently, the scale has disappeared again - it's not under the claw foot tub this time. Nor under the fridge. But I ate on plan, CREDIT moi, including ignoring the call to grab some of DW's (diet) trail mix when it was raining and I wanted to be outside.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Your exercise status was turned into telephone number by my browser, helpfully highlighted so that I can call it with Skype, LOL. Have a nice trip.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Great dinner choices, especially that passing on dessert.

BeverlyJoy - Ouch for a tempting pecan coffee cake - that would be hard for me. [Thanks for the definition of "diet trail mix."]

pamaga – Kudos for actively working on avoiding responding to those non-hunger urges to eat. [Yep, spicy trail mix would do me in.]

maryann - All those veggies sound like mighty fine eating.

Val (va1erie) – Yay for the oldest public market in the country - wondering how farmers sold their stuff before Farmer's Markets were invented. [Yep, DW makes her own "trail mix" with the three kinds of nuts she likes and dried cherries - it's really good. Without M&M's it really shouldn't be called trail mix, LOL.]

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.

what to do . . .
To learn the difference between hunger and non-hunger, I'd like you to do the following:
1. Set up a chart like the one on the opposite page in your Diet Notebook. Label it "Hunger Versus Non-Hunger Chart" and fill it in with your own examples.
2. Eat a reasonably hearty breakfast.
3. If you snack between breakfast and lunch, skip those snacks (if medically appropriate).
4. Delay lunch until you feel hunger pangs in your stomach.
5. Every time you feel like eating, fill out the chart in your Diet Notebook.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg. 74.

10-05-2011, 08:34 AM
Hi Everyone,

Not sure why I am awake and posting at this early hour. My cold has come on full force and maybe my drugs have worn off! I did get to Zumba class last night and it was honestly the best I felt all day. Who knew that sweating so much could counteract a stuffy head and runny nose. :exercise:

Yesterday was my high calorie day and I found it a little difficult as I did not feel like eating at all. I have to admit I had a bowl of soup before Zumba and then had frozen yogurt when I got home. Managed to get in the 1800 + calories for the day. I was nervous having to eat that amount and am happy that today is back to 1546. I should also mention in my last post when describing the calorie cycling my daily amount is actually 1546 and not 1500 so the numbers really do add up.

BBE Way to go on the Martha Stewart decorating. Maybe she has a "diet friendly" version of trail mix you could discover!

gardenerjoy Good luck at your conference!

maryann What do you put in your banana pumpkin smoothies. Sounds really good to me and I'm always looking for new quick ideas for breakfast. Speaking of pumpkin I made some pumpkin spice muffins on the weekend using a spice cake mix and 1 large can of pumpkin (not pie filling) with about 1/2 a cup of water. Worked out to 100 calories each with 24 muffins from the recipe. Really good to and easy! Belated congrats on your sobriety anniversary. :cp:

pamatga Big credit for resisting eating for 5 hours and realizing that we can forget about it and we will survive. Thanks for all of your honest posting on all kinds of topics. Reading what others have learned is always a good reminder for me on what we can do on this journey.

beverlyjoy Credit for jumping back onto your plan after being derailed by family.

Hi to everyone else and a shout out to SuperChick and Alana in Canada if you are checking in. :wave:

10-05-2011, 12:30 PM
First, my report: My weight was unchanged yesterday morning but up 2 full pounds this morning. HUH? It certainly isn't from what I ate yesterday (a little over 1000 calories). Maybe something to do with the anesthesia? Or the Vicodin I am taking for pain? Didn't do any exercise yesterday and won't be able to do much for at least a few days. Did not read my cards. Did not post or contact my diet buddy. Did eat slowly and mindfully, though.

I remembered a few more things from the Beck workshop that might be helpful or of interest to some of you.

First, a couple of analogies to help us counter the sabotaging thought that once we eat something unplanned, we might as well eat whatever we want for the rest of the day, since we've already blown it, and start over tomorrow: If you stumbled while walking down a flight of stairs, would you then throw yourself down the rest of the stairs and vow to become more careful tomorrow? Or, if you ran a red light and got a ticket for it, would you make it a point to run every red light on the rest of the way home and vow to become a better driver tomorrow? Of course not!

Second, a thought on the practice of constantly giving yourself credit for things that seem silly or things that you think you "should have" been doing all along and therefore don't deserve credit for: Giving yourself credit for every little thing you do right not only acknowledges and positively reinforces the good behavior and mindset, but it also strengthens your knowledge of what to do in a variety of eating situations. That way, when you get to your goal weight, you won't find yourself suddenly in a situation in which you say, "I don't know how I got here, so I don't know how to stay here." That one really resonated with me.

Sabotaging thought: I don't feel like reading my cards today. I've memorized them, anyway. Helpful response: There is no way to know in advance if today will be a difficult or challenging day for me, so I should read my cards first thing in the morning EVERY day, just in case.

A couple of other helpful responses to a variety of sabotaging thoughts: Food always tastes better when it is not served with a side of guilt or shame. OR We often regret what we did eat, but never do we regret what we didn't eat. (Corollary: We often regret not doing exercise, but we never regret doing it.)

After an episode of unplanned eating that spirals: Give yourself credit for stopping at ANY point before going to sleep.

To help counter the tendency to do unplanned eating at night: Build an evening snack into your diet plan to avoid the sabotaging thought that there will be a long period of food deprivation between dinner and bedtime, and that you can't handle it.

A couple of strategies for keeping your advantages cards fresh: Keep adding new ones as you lose weight and discover additional advantages that you couldn't have conceived of at the start. If you have a big event of some kind coming up, pick out just a few cards that are relevant to that event and focus on those for a few days. Pick out a few advantages and, instead of just reading them, take the time to really visualize what your life will be like when that advantage is achieved. Occasionally change the order of your advantages cards to be consistent with whatever your current priorities are or your current stage of weight loss. (And one other thing that both Val and I have done is that we rewrote our advantages cards in the present tense instead of the future tense when we starting maintaining instead of losing.)

And one thing that Beck said about online forums devoted to her program: She made the observation that participants often spend too much time sharing their life problems in general and not enough time focusing on specific program tasks that they are working on. Personally, I like hearing about people's lives and find it really helpful in getting to know them and their unique eating issues better, but I will try to follow her advice to be sure that I include my daily reporting of Beck tasks in each one of my posts.

As a Ph.D. in Experimental Psychology (I was trained to do behavioral research), I was particularly intrigued by Beck's admission, in response to a question by a workshop attendee, that she has no real empirical evidence (from controlled scientific studies) that it is absolutely necessary to master ALL of her skills, or that they need to be mastered in the particular order that she suggests. She admitted that her insistence on doing all of the tasks, and not just picking and choosing the ones that we like or think are important, is based on nothing more than her clinical impressions of her dieting clients. But, like Val observed in the workshop, the tasks that people resist working on are probably the very ones that they most need to work on, and that's good enough for me. I can suspend my own skepticism as a scientist enough to accept that it is indeed important to master all of the skills. After all, I want to maximize my chances of successful maintenance, and I am willing to err on the side of caution by doing everything possible to make it happen!

Pamatga, Val did a really good job of explaining Beck's stance on gradually lowering your calories to your maintenance level while you diet, as opposed to dieting at a low calorie level and then increasing it gradually to discover your maintenance level. Beck's strategy makes perfect sense to me and is intuitively very appealing--that way, there is no transition at all between dieting and maintenance, and you just continue with the good habits of behavior and thought that you have hopefully well established by then. But I still don't get her absolute insistence on never going below 1600, even though I understand her concern that a low calorie diet is often too difficult to sustain indefinitely and sometimes leads to binge-eating disorder. Val, surely you are right when you say that a 6' teenage boy is going to be much hungrier on, say, 1400 calories, and would find it much harder to sustain, than a 5'2" post-menopausal woman! I guess we each have to decide for ourselves what we can live with long-term, and how much food deprivation we are willing to tolerate in order to NOT deprive ourselves of the innumerable and wondrous advantages of being thin! Now that I know just how wonderful it is to be thin, in so many ways I could never have anticipated, it is absolutely worth it to me to restrict my eating...forever. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy an occasional planned treat. But nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, and the pleasure and comfort I derive from eating are so fleeting.

Maryann, congratulations on your 24 years of sobriety. That's a huge demon to conquer! And re: your blue day that led to "half a big cookie and a couple of chocolates", after which you went back OP: give yourself LOTS of credit! I bet you once would have eaten lots more than half a cookie and a couple of chocolates in that situation, and you would not have gotten yourself back on track so quickly. YAY you!

BelovedK, OUCH!! How did you get all those injuries? But give yourself credit for sticking to your plan nonetheless.

Lexxiss, you should be giving yourself lots of credit, too, for making so many good choices and doing so many things right despite a very difficult day.

gardenerjoy, wow, I can't believe you were able to lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks so close to your goal!! Good luck with figuring out how to add some calories in a way that won't scare you into thinking you will regain (something I still struggle with). And I certainly agree with you that happy birthday wishes and quick recovery wishes don't belong in the same sentence!

My surgery was a breast lumpectomy for a precancerous condition that was proliferating rapidly and highly likely to progress to actual cancer. In fact there is a 15% chance that cancer will already be present in the tissue that was removed yesterday. So now I have to wait for the pathology report to see if any additional treatment will be needed. I'm hoping that yesterday's surgery will be the end of it.

OK, back to my couch I go. I know I just wrote a book. I hope there is no limit on the size of posts, or I am going to be in trouble!


10-05-2011, 12:46 PM
GD everyone!

BBE Isn't remodeling fun?? When I was going through that, I served Thanksgiving dinner in an upstairs bedroom and washed the dishes in the claw foot bath tub. You just do what you gotta do!

gardenerjoy Planning will save the day. How will you spend your nights while you are away? Any chance of seeing some local sights?

maryann Please share the recipe for the banana pumpkin smoothie---two of my favorite foods.

beverlyjoy Major credit on getting back on track after the family get together. It sort of puts a damper on the "feel good" feelings we "should" have when we re-connect with our family, doesn't it?

I second the motion on a big "Hello: :wave: to all of those we think about and wonder how all of you are doing: onebyone, missyj, Alana in Canada, Superchick, et al. We miss you. Hope all is well with you.:grouphug: As for Val and 4everlearning thanks again for the detailed report on the live Beck workshop.

Credit: I "stared down" another 5-6 hours of not eating before going to bed. Again, I was busy enough with some "end-of-the-day" kind of activities that at times I did honestly forget that I wanted to eat. It seems it has become routine the past couple of days but I have one final week of this Buddy Challenge and I want to really do my best on the final lap. Also, this is something that I should just plain get in the habit of doing long term. It is already becoming a lot easier than I thought it would. I do think that there is a direct correlation between feeling good emotionally (which I do right now) and just not bothering with the extra food or, should I say, it not bothering me?

Through another BLC "buddy" I heard about a "7 Key Food Challenge" on another thread so I got in on that. It is only for this month but since I keep a running food log everyday, it was easy to get the previous days' information over to the "host" of this challenge and step right in. This is one of the BIG benefits of keeping a detailed daily log of my food plan. I can see in black and white "how I am doing". Good or Bad. Anyway, I am going to share the "7 Keys" here. It might be a good "checklist" for anyone else that feels they need to "tweak" their food plan or just compare what they are doing with these "keys".

If you follow these 7 Keys you will lose weight.

1) Eating every 3-4 hours and having 5-6 small meals/snacks per day
2) Eating protein and/or fat with carbs at meals and snacks
3) Choosing high fiber carbs and not white flour carbs. Aim for at least 25 grams of fiber daily.
4) Making sure that you have 2-4 ounces of protein at lunch and dinner
5) Don't cut your fat intake too low. Choose at least 1-2 servings of healthy fats, like nuts, seeds, fish, avocado, and olive oil daily.
6) Make sure you're eating 2-3 fruit servings each day.
7) Make sure you're eating at least 3 servings of vegetables each day.

Note: I follow all of these except the first one. The ONLY white flour carbs I eat are my jasmine rice (which is about twice a month) and my mini twist pretzels (which runs in streaks). I have allowed unhealthy fats though to creep back into my food plan. I just don't like the "healthier spreads" like Smart Balance. They are tasteless. Does anyone have a good tasting healthier alternative for their morning toast?? I am almost inclined to return to butter and just limit my amount (since I have read you can have about 10% of your daily calories in saturated fat) to 1 TB per day. What are your thoughts, coaches/buddies?

I know we have all batted around how many meals a person should/shouldn't eat per day but for the sake of this Buddy Challenge, I am going to comply for this month. I have gone back and forth on this a couple of different times. Right now, I have some fat free kettle popcorn sitting next to my computer--uneaten. It is supposed to be my mid-morning snack. Blaaaah! I have been eating one larger meal with two very small ones since we started our spiritual fasting on September 14th and I had gotten used to that but nothing like a Challenge to keep a person more focused; so, I am willing to give this a try.

Stats for 10/4:
** 1774 calories 10 g fiber (unusual for me?) 3134 mg sodium
**walked 2900 steps
**2-10 min sessions on treadmill at 1.6 mph (had to drop down so not to re-injure knee again)
**F/V: apple, peach, green beans, carrots, corn


10-05-2011, 01:09 PM
report: read my cards, weighed (up 1), spent eight hours in the car so didn't get much exercise, ate slowly and mindfully all day, making very good choices until havig a wine-induced snackfest last night after I got home. Oh, well. Move on.

Debbie -- yay, you for making good choices dining out!

Beverlyjoy -- I suspect that possibly MOST of my weight problem has been caused by the thought that I will start fresh again tomorrow so for now I will eat whatever I want. If I could add up all the calories I ate immediately after deciding I was going to start dieting (or start fresh, after getting off track) in the morning, I suspect it would come very, very close to accounting for the extra weight I was carrying. We need to 'hop back on plan' IMMEDIATELY after falling off plan. Not the next morning. The next BITE needs to be back on plan. I suspect this SINGLE change in thinking could prevent weight gain among those of us who struggle with being "100% on plan" vs. totally off plan. Bummer for your SIL regaining. She must feel awful about it. Have you talked to her about Beck?

pamatga -- I am eating around 1400 calories now and maintaining, so I'm fine with not dropping to 1200 again. I just would like to understand the rationale behind what Beck is advising, and I still am not sure I really do understand it. Re: eating every 3 - 4 hours and having 5 - 6 small meals or snacks -- apparently the research does not support this as necessary or even helpful. I don't know that it means it's UNhelpful, but apparently it's not associated with weightloss success. If you feel you do better with three meals, no snacks, there's no reason to force yourself to change. Myself, I don't like to snack. I'd rather be hungry for my meals.

BBE -- How does the scale disappear? LOL!

Tazzy -- Don't feel nervous about the high calorie days. It's just one day, and your low calorie days will make up for the absolute increase in calories. The big payoff is confusing your body. :)

Robin! How are you today? I'm SO glad the procedure is over! Yay for being home on the couch cuddling the cat, reading, enjoying a cup of tea on a nippy October day. :) Re: the 1400 cals I'm currently eating -- yeah, I'd really love to see the research about 1200 cals being too low divided out by people for whom that's actually only 200 calories less than they can maintain on! It just doesn't make SENSE to use ABSOLUTE numbers. The data needs to be crunched using RELATIVE numbers.

10-05-2011, 02:48 PM
Hi beckfolks - yesterday was a healthy day. I am always grateful for that! I planned, logged, did meditation, lots of water, stretches and strengthening, weighed this am (down 1 pound)

Today I go for my yearly mammogram. Ladies, don't forget to check out the 'girls.'

I got another storytelling job through the Arts Council. That's two - which is the minimum to be able to remain part of their artist in the school program. Last year I took time off from that program. I must do these performances to stay in. I'll have help for off loading, etc. I told Dh... I am doing those schools not matter what.

breakfast - soy bacon on pnb toast, pumpkin with sf syrup, lite magerine, cinn

lunch - cheese egg white omlette, roasted green beans, toast

snack - cereal, fruit, milk

dinner - salmon, 1/2 c baked potato, icbinbs, salad with evoo and balsamic vinegar

snack - strawberries, pnb on a rice cake

lots of water
journal/log/measure food
stretches and strengthening
read arc/rc
read beck book

Pam - I like your honesty. It’s so commendable to jump right back on when you fall off. Good job on the fruits and veggies.
The 7 keys sound a lot like many healthy plans I’ve seen over the years… also, the exchange one that I do.

Maryann - your split pea soup and chick pea stew are inspiring me. Yes… good for the budget.

Gardener/joy - have a good trip. Your planning should help!

Billbe - hope the shower switch is soon over.. Although sounds you’ve got the alternate ready. Glad you stayed on plan… with the scale out of sight, even.

T-azzy - gosh, I hope your cold is better soon! I am glad you are feeling a bit more comfortable with your calorie cycling. Thanks for the pumpkin muffin recipe idea.

4ever - the weight fluctuations are sometimes hard to explain when you just think about food. That number represents many things at that moment - water, hormones, medications, food, potty business and more. I love your reminder from the workshop about the stairs. Thanks. - and for the reminders about gratitude, etc.

Valerie - yes, yes, yes….. Drawing that line in’ the sand and not continue to overeat has been the hardest thing for me forever. I am glad you mentioned this. Yes - it’s the single change that could help us all. Thanks.

Have a good day folks.

10-05-2011, 04:28 PM
Hi, Coaches & Buddies.

It is already October 5! I've been totally off track with my food and haven't been to the gym in almost a month, the longest I've missed since I started working out regularly almost 2 years ago.

We head out Friday morning for a vaccation to Mexico at an all-inclusive place. I hope to get lots of walking and swimming in and to get back in the habit of eating while sitting down. I am going to avoid fried foods, hit the veggies and fresh fruits hard, and stick mostly with fish. I will probably not have access to the internet to post and so I'll also have to track my food the old-fashioned way on paper too.

I tracked my food today and read my ARC. I sat while eating breakfast and lunch. I am going to say no choice to dessert tonight, unless I want an apple.

Dinner will be vegetarian stuffed peppers, sautιed zucchini, and perhaps some broiled tomatoes.

Beverleyjoy - great news about the storytelling jobs.

Val - I really liked your commentary about getting back on plan NOW and not TOMORROW. I've had about 20 years of tomorrows and I wonder how many years that has taken off my life.

Pamatga - great job staring down those hours. That is tough for me.

4EverLearning - interesting observation about Beck's program not having been designed entirely via evidence based experimentation. I can imagine that would be a tough experiment to design with a program as long as Beck's.

Tazzy - interesting strategy about the caloric cycling. I need to look in to that.

BBE - hope the scale reappears for you soon.

gardener joy - have a safe trip.

Maryann - congratulations on 24! That is fantatic. Isn't it weird how stressful anniversaries and birthdays can be?

Be well, everyone!

10-05-2011, 10:01 PM
Hi everyone,
So I've been having a bit of a 'crisis of faith' lately in the Beck program. I really loved week 1 but as I started reading more and more, I was questioning the attitudes as well as Beck's tone used. I always felt some of her response cards were a bit cheesy for my tastes, but the thing that really strikes me is the program is very all or nothing. I feel like if I'm not following it to the 'T' then it doesn't quite work out. It's a bit frustrating because I really placed a lot of faith in the program at the start :(

If I'm being 100% honest, I probably could be giving it a bit more time and effort. I guess I'm just down because I'm the type of person that can't just half believe in something. (Side note - That's probably why I'm not religious, because each time I explore a faith I always seem to question or disagree with some of it and just can't ignore those parts)

I also have been feeling a bit down lately about where I am in life. I am ashamed that I still don't have my degree or a respectable job, and generally I pictured life after college to be different than what it ended up being. Living in a cramped apartment above my boyfriend's parents garage isn't the worst outcome I could have gotten into, but at this time last year my boyfriend had a great paying job and I had several possible leads for an internship that would hopefully turn into a full time job once I graduated. Sometimes everything just feels so hopeless :/

In the mean time, I am working on another week's meal plan because I don't want to abandon my weight loss efforts. I can't bear the thought of letting my efforts go to waste on top of everything, so I'm trying to use it as motivation to keep on losing. I've done a good job at maintaining what I've lost thus far, I just haven't seen a downward slope in the past 2 - 3 weeks.

I also just want to say a small thank you, because reading all of your updates and seeing your success helps with my own motivation, and because I'm just glad I have somewhere to vent where people will understand my crazy ramblings! You guys rock :)

10-06-2011, 06:53 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Took my walk (CREDIT moi) to pass by my barber to take care of the unruly mess - men so happily think we're getting away without a haircut, LOL. Eating was close enough to plan, CREDIT moi. I did have a moment when I thought of food to solve a passing feeling, but I remembered that I have strategies for dealing with that and went on to the next thing. It seems to work for me just to remember that I have a plan, have goals, and have strategies.

The scale remains missing, LOL, but we found the brass clips that hold up the bars in our closets. Nothing can remain hidden forever.

FutureFitChick - Kudos for making a plan for your luxury vacation. Have a joyful trip.

Beverlyjoy – Congrats on those story telling gigs to stay in the game.

pamaga – I've tried different oils and have come to the position of small amounts of butter from time to time. I have friends who drink whole milk for the same reason, but there I stick to my non-fat milk with relish - I like the taste.

Tazzy - Ouch for the continued cold - perhaps your body is getting rid of its need for colds before the season starts.

Michi702 – Ouch for the feeling of "hopeless" - one of the more seductive Sabotaging Thoughts. You're confronting it by making a meal plan and by reading and posting here. Continued small, positive steps can make that feeling crawl back into its hole.

Val (va1erie) – Ouch for 8 hours in the car, with Kudos for "Oh, well. Move on." [We're constantly moving stuff in and out of each room for painters. Stuff gets misplaced easily. I can't imagine where DW put the scale since she uses it daily also.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Like the notion of adding new Advantages to keep it fresh. I'll accept your suggestion that doing ALL Beck's strategies avoids choosing to skip the one's we need. Sending supportive thoughts for your recovery from surgery with hopes for that 85% chance of good news from the tests.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.

what to do . . .

How will you know whether you are feeling hunger or non-hunger? Notice which sensations you experience in your mouth, throat, and body. Then ask yourself:

Does my stomach feel empty, and could I feel satisfied if I ate any type of food? (If so, I am probably hungry.)
. . .

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 74.

10-06-2011, 08:42 AM
Hello Beck friends!

My eating was far improved from the previous day *credit* for willingness. Today I have weighed, have a plan and a commitment to use my Beck tools to stick to it. I wasn't able to access the site earlier and need to get going now.

Robin(4EverLearning), you said, "And one thing that Beck said about online forums devoted to her program: She made the observation that participants often spend too much time sharing their life problems in general and not enough time focusing on specific program tasks that they are working on. Personally, I like hearing about people's lives and find it really helpful in getting to know them and their unique eating issues better, but I will try to follow her advice to be sure that I include my daily reporting of Beck tasks in each one of my posts."

I thought this was interesting and I agree with you, Robin, that I like hearing about people's lives and their unique eating issues. I do try to include reporting of Beck tasks, too. For me, having friends in these online forums has made an incredible difference in my ability to lose weight and keep it off. I'm extremely isolated, having moved from my home in Alaska to "start over" in the social arena as I care for my aging mom. I don't really have anyone to sit down and talk with regarding my weight loss program. I know lots of folks who "want" to lose weight but most are only marginally committed, at best. You all here are my rock. Hearing your life issues and how you deal with them helps me. You all let me know, through your trusting me with the details of your personal lives that I am not unique and that I am not alone.

Thanks for being here everyone!

10-06-2011, 12:02 PM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully, made reasonable choices even though we went out for Trivia, but did have a wine-induced snackfest when I got home. Oh, well. Move on. Got no planned exercise because I'd forgotten to set my alarm and woke up at the time my class was ending, got minimal spontaneous exercise because I was back and forth from the school several times for various reasons. So I parked far away each time, took the stairs each time, etc.

Beverlyjoy -- Getting back on track IMMEDIATELY after going off plan is incredibly hard. I think it may be the one skill I have the hardest time with. I've definitely IMPROVED with it, but I continue to have to actively fight the impulse every time I go off plan.

FFC -- Good for you for getting back on track.

Michi -- Beck's program is only all or nothing in one way: you have to master all the skills. Once you've mastered them and seen whether or not a particular skill is helpful to you, you can choose to decide that, for instance, you can build a new rule around that skill. Not eating standing up, for instance -- even Beck says that her rule around this is that she's allowed to eat raw veggies while preparing dinner. I allow myself to eat anything I've PLANNED to eat at a cocktail party, even if there's no place to sit. So it's not that you have to, for instance, decide that in order to be on the program you have to never eating anything standing up ever again. You just have to do that for a short time -- until you've mastered that skill -- and then you can revise the rule to fit your own needs.

I will say that the skills I've most resisted sometimes have turned out to be the ones that have been most helpful. Eating slowly and without distractions, for instance, was really hard for me. I like to read while I eat, and if I don't read I tend to eat very fast. But when I practiced eating slowly and mindfully and without distractions for a couple of weeks, I definitely found that I felt more satisfied with less food when I was focussed on the food. And after mastering that skill, I've found that I'm able to eat with distractions and still focus on the food enough that I'm able to leave a bite of everything. Very seldom any more do I find myself suddenly thinking, "Did I eat that entire thing?" I occasionally practice this skill by eating without distractions maybe once a week, but for the most part I can read, watch tv, or eat with others and still eat mindfully.

You can design your own response cards that feel less cheesy. Realize she is providing just examples of responses to very common sabotaging thoughts. If your sabotaging thoughts are different from these, or if the responses in her examples don't feel helpful, we can totally help with that! That's what we're here to do for each other. I have probably three dozen response cards, many of which are completely different from Beck's. In fact I'm not sure I have more than one or two that are identical to any of her examples. For instance, I have one that deals with the sabotaging thought that I'm not yet full. The response to that, for me, is "Am I REALLY not mildly full? Feeling overfull is a trigger for me, even when I'm overfull on healthy foods. It makes me feel I've blown it and might as well blow it big. I can wait 20 minutes before taking another bite to be sure I'm not already mildly full."

That said, if you don't believe in the program, I can just about promise it won't work for you. That's half the battle right there for ANY program. This particular program is based on cognitive behavior therapy techniques that have been extremely helpful with a wide variety of dysfunctional behaviors, and a lot of people have found this specific program very helpful. So before you decide this isn't going to work for you, ask yourself: Is it REALLY that you don't believe it would be helpful, or is it possible you are in reality feeling reluctant to do all the work? It sounds like you're feeling depressed and hopeless in other areas of your life...are you sure it's not just that those feelings are spilling over into this area too? Which skills have you accomplished so far, and are you practicing them?

I'm also interested in your reaction to the tone/attitude. What are you finding troubling about them?

Debbie -- I think Beck's concerns about the too much time sharing their life problems in general and not enough time focusing on specific program tasks that they are working on was primarily a concern about the primary focus becoming sharing general things. I didn't get the feeling that she thought no one should be doing that at all -- just that the primary focus between diet buddies should be the program, and that the additional sharing no become the primary focus. It's fine to become online friends, but the reason we're here is to be each others' diet coaches, and we don't want to lose track of that and risk ending up just a group of friends who can't ask each other the difficult questions when we need to. I, too, like to hear about the other things that are happening in people's lives, partially because (as with Michi above) those issues might be pertinent to the program itself. Knowing that Michi is feeling hopeless about other things in her life right now lets me know to ask her whether that might be coloring her perception of the program, too.

BBE -- good for you for not using food to deal with emotions!

Have a great day, all!

10-06-2011, 12:52 PM
Very interesting, provocative posts these last few days. I, like Lexxiss, had a strong emotional response to 4everlearning's report from Beck on (my summary) keeping to the task at hand. That, coupled with Michi702 post concerning her crisis of faith, forced me to think back on what has been successful in my life. I am sitting here here at 47 with some tremendous successes: a happy, loving intelligent son, a devoted hubby (married ten years) a 20 yr teaching service pen, a teacher of the year award from a few years back, 24 years of sobriety, lasting friendships for 30 yrs, on and on. When I was 23 years old, I weighed over 200 pounds, had been hospitalized for two suicide attempts, was a black out drinker, and had never been in a real relationship.

All of my success I can say has been finding help - programs, people, spiritual guidance with solid principles then taking what I could use and LEAVING THE REST. To some that might be a cop out but for me it is a triumph because it has been my PERFECTIONISM that has been my greatest excuse for paralysis. I thought I was lazy with no will power. What I was was frozen with fear at making a mistake.

So to Michi702 you don't have to believe everything Beck says. Ask your self one question: Does your life go better using Beck skills or not? If it does, then PRETEND you believe it all and get to the business of practicing them. That is what I do. I can always change my mind tomorrow.

Echoing Robin, Lexxiss and Valerie: I need to connect with people with real lives and struggles on this blog. If All I needed was principles, I'd read the book again. Is there a balance? Yes, I must carry the message not just the mess.

Pamatga and Tazzy: Pumpkin Banana smoothie: I frozen banana, 1/3 can of 15oz pumpkin. I put can in frig overnite, maybe 1/2 cup yogurt, pumpkin spice to taste, you can also put in 1/3 c. orange juice but I don't always. I even knew someone who put some avocado in but I haven't tried that. I put in 1 T. of brown sugar or sweetener with a little vanilla.

Beverleyjoy: do you make pumpkin pancakes for breakfast or just eat the pumpkin?

BBE: Can't get into the orchard to get your nuts. Still! better start hoarding the trail mix. There might be a scarcity.

10-06-2011, 01:47 PM
Michi702 :welcome2: back as you are struggling with your "life issues". If it is any comfort I too have some "life issues" right now that are yucky too but I have really found a new release in my self-confidence by working on the areas of my life that I can do something about: namely, practicing these skills towards the end goal of losing weight, eating healthy and exercising. I do believe that the confidence that I am gaining in this one area of my life is beginning to spill over into other areas. For one thing, I am learning to be more patient. This current economic situation our country (world?) is in is horrible but if I can't find a job, etc at least I can work on something that makes me feel positive and look forward to the day when I awake.

My "take" on Dr. Beck's comments about how some of these online forums end up being nothing more than a "chat room" has shades of truth. I do think that there are a lot of people who have the best of intentions of losing weight but once they realize that they may have to do a complete 180 degrees, they start to back pedal and then they shut down regarding their food plans, etc. The one thing that I do like about the tone of the way the book is written is this is a "no nonsense" person who "tells it like it is". I hate it when these people who are pushing a specific program (on tv usually) chirp about how easy and fun their particular program is going to be (after you have dropped $120 for their set of dvds, book, etc). I know I have bought into those more than once.

Changing dysfunctional behavior of any kind is HARD WORK. I think Dr. Beck is just being very honest about that. She keeps reminding people in the pink book about how much better their lives will be when they are thinner, healthier, less "neurotic" about food and weight, etc. I have been through several different therapies in the past twenty years. Who I am today is a result of a lot of hard work, sometimes very painful emotional work, going back to square one and starting all over again, etc. I sometimes feel like when I die I want it to read on my tombstone everything that I overcame to become the much happier, healthier person that I am. I just might need a bigger tombstone.:D

I have been around long enough in these online diet groups to know that there are 100 people who all want to be: a normal weight, wear their favorite pair of jeans, and think that will change the rest of their lives "forever". Okay, believe that fallacy. Then there are maybe 50 who really try their best but don't often see the connection between their "fantasy" and reality so eventually they stop "trying". The remaining 10 people are the ones who will get there eventually but half of them will allow their old ways to slowly creep back in and they regain all their lost weight. The standing 5 people are the ones who "won the battle but continue to fight the war".

I have been in each one of the groups except the last two. I want to be in the last one. I used to want to do it "my way" (fat people are also very block-headed too) until I realized that "my way" wasn't working at all. Well, I have "seen the light" and I do realize that I do need to draw that line, I do need to make that decision (sometimes once, sometimes over and over) to have a certain food or meal and whether it will support my weight lose goals, to "sit" with wanting to eat but not really hungry, to exercise even when I may not "feel like it", learning to put my needs first before others, etc. All of that conscious decision making takes concentration, focus, thinking before acting and making decisions you can live with the next day when you step on the scale.

You could take all of these skills and apply them to getting your finances in order, getting through school with good grades or even having a good relationship with your significant other (including your lap cat). It really is about creating a reality that expresses who we want to be. There were times when I was going through sexual abuse therapy where I literally thought I was going to die from exhuming the emotional pain that I had to bring up in order to heal.

One of my sabotaging thoughts that sprang up almost immediately as I was going through the pink book was the fact that I had been afraid to lose weight because of becoming "sexually desirable" again. I don't think this was even covered in either of the Beck books but for a sexual abuse survivor this is something that can and does hold us back.

I have a very good friend that I met on another diet site that once I started probing about some of her continued food choices even though she has diabetes and I am pre-diabetic, she shut down about talking about her food plan. At first, I thought she was mad at me for continuing to discuss openly about my efforts and then asking about hers but Val Dr. Beck never loses that therapeutic stance that the point is we are here for the primary reason of assisting others who are needing to lose weight. The bonding is just the bonus part of that.

I have been in group therapy before for sexual abuse. After a period of time, the eight of us women would go out to dinner afterwards. When my therapist found out, she had a fit!! It is a standard rule in group therapy that you do not co-mingle with others outside the walls of the therapy session. I later found out why she was upset about that when I had one of the women make a pass at me and another got "really weird" one night, which both situations really freaked me out at the time. My guess is that Dr. Beck feels the same way. We are here for one reason and that is to assist one another with our practicing of these Beck skills.

My question is this: moving forward, we would like to make some "rules" about what we should/shouldn't discuss. Should we create a format that we report in every day? I do that on other threads on another site. Of course, I also do add some "personals" since I have come to learn more about you as people and I sincerely do care that we all nail this down good and tight so we are "winners" at losing all the way around. I want everyone to be happy and thin. However, I realize that it doesn't depend on what I want for you but what you are willing to do for yourself. The best that I can offer is my support.

As for the response cards not meeting your needs, Michi, I made up one that I didn't see in either of the books. As I said I am a sexual abuse survivor. I know that I gained over 100 lbs simply because I wanted to build a wall around my body so no one would touch me. I had two previous marriages where I could not be intimate with them and so they failed. I am currently married to a man who is so patient and kind with me regarding intimacy just in general. We have a very loving relationship that just gets better as I get better emotionally.

My biggest challenge for me is getting a figure that is "sexually desirable". I equated being big and strong (I liked to lift heavy weights at one time) as keeping the wolves at bay, thinking it was all about being sexy and beautiful. Then, finally all the statistical information I had heard over the years about sexual abuse not being about sex but about power on the predator's part sunk in. Instead of being big and physically strong, I really needed to learn to be emotionally strong because that was the real reason why I was a "target". It never had anything to do with size. It had to do with being vulnerable emotionally. Predators know their victims. I have heard sexual abusers, rapists and even murderers mention how they looked for certain personality traits that are easy pickings.

The second epiphany I had this summer was when I wore a dress that showed how curvy I am. I had a religious man of the cloth touch my arm stroking my shrug I was wearing. I just died inside for a moment. It was at the moment, as sick as I felt about being touched by someone other than my husband, that I was not going to allow myself to be victimized by my own fears, feelings or thoughts; certainly not to the point of remaining morbidly obese which has made me feel miserable and physically ill for close to 30 years.

I haven't got it all figured out how I am going to deal with these unwanted "touches" in the future but I know that I am not going to allow that sabotaging thought keep me from being the weight I was created to be. I am done being a victim of others or myself.

Again, thanks Val and Robin for opening up the discussion regarding all of this. If we all want to agree on structuring our group discussion so we are highlighting certain Beck skills, etc. I am all for it. However way everyone wants to do this is fine with me. Some of the skills I never really had problems with and some the books (like the one I mentioned) were never touched on but it doesn't mean the basis of correcting our thoughts then behavior so we can achieve permanent weight lose isn't valid and doesn't work. It does work and that is why I am here.

Stats for 10/5:
****1907 calories 36 g fiber 3450 mg sodium
**walked 3600 steps 2-10 min sessions on treadmill at 1.6 mph
***F/V: whole tomato, v-8 juice, dried cranberries, whole apple, raw carrots, 4-bean southwestern chili

My challenge this coming weekend is twofold: I have a weigh in for a Buddy Challenge on Monday where I am the front leader by .6 lb and I would like to win this. Also, in the past when my husband went away for a weekend, I used the "home alone" scenario to fill it with "old friends" like Hardees, Wendys, Papa Johns, etc.

This weekend I want it to be different. Time to bring out the "big guns" and that includes my ARC cards.


10-06-2011, 02:23 PM
First, my good news: just got a call from my surgeon's office with the preliminary pathology report, and there was NO malignancy in the tissue they removed. They are going to do additional staining to better pinpoint the nature of the precancerous cells, but I am hopeful that I will not need any additional treatment at this time. Breathing a BIG sigh of relifef.:D That being said, let me reiterate Beverlyjoy's helpful reminder to check out those "girls" annually!

my report: My weight was down .4 this morning, but still higher than it's been in several weeks. I took my bandage off for this first time this morning to take a shower and can see that my breast is hugely swollen, so maybe that's where a little bit of the extra weight is coming from! I stuck to my 1200 calorie plan yesterday, did not get any exercise (but am not supposed to), ate slowly and mindfully, tolerated some hunger, read my cards, contacted my diet buddy, saved a bite of everything for my kitty.

Michi702, I see that Val has already done an excellent job of explaining exactly what I was going to try to explain to you about the "all-or-nothing" quality you see in Beck's program. I agree with you that her program IS a lot of work, so much so that it has occasionally left me feeling that I have gone as overboard with my "recovery" from overeating as I ever was with overeating itself. (And I will add that I recently was dumped by my former BFF, in an irrevocably hurtful way, because she thinks I have become obsessive about my dieting and exercise habits, and she liked the old me, her compulsive eating buddy, better.) So I have given a lot of thought to this issue lately. And I have come to the conclusion that maybe I was a little too gung-ho about it all, or at least too open and vocal about it with my non-dieting friends (virtually all of whom are obese, by the way). But that is exactly what I needed to do at the time. EXACTLY what I needed to do, so I can't regret it for a moment. With time, I am discovering which tasks I can ease off on and which ones are the really critical ones that will help me maintain my weight loss forever, and that's the way it should be. After all, it would be just a tad too ironic if we all adopted an extreme all-or-nothing attitude about this program when that all-or-nothing thought pattern is precisely what got most of us into trouble in the first place, and considering that the GOAL of ALL forms of cognitive-behavioral therapy is to BREAK the pattern of all-or-nothing thinking that leads to so much irrationality and so much behavioral seesawing between perfect control and complete loss of control!

FutureFitChick, I think we all can say we've wasted YEARS of "tomorrows" while planning to diet but never actually doing it. And you are right, it would be a huge challenge to design the type of research that would be required to obtain strong empirical verification of the efficacy of Beck's strategies under scientifically controlled conditions. So we will have to do our own "experimentation" and see what really works for each of us individually. Have a wonderful vacation. Sounds like you are formulating some reasonable plans to limit your eating on your trip. Just think about how good you will feel if you come home knowing that you exercised your resistance muscle!

BillBlueEyes, may I steal your words for a response card? I love your reminder that "I have a plan, I have goals, and I have strategies." And good luck discovering that rogue scale!

Lexxiss, like Val said, I am sure Beck did not mean that we should not share the events of our lives with each other. It is much easier to be an effective diet coach when you know the unique issues and challenges each dieter faces. And, like you, I think of this kind of forum as a source of much-appreciated friendship as well as task-specific support. I am so glad that this type of online forum exists. Like you said, we are all surrounded by people who "want" to lose weight; just about everyone does, and the dieting industry thrives on and profits greatly from that ubiquitous desire! But it is really hard to find a group of people who are truly committed to making that desire a reality AND to providing helpful support to others who are equally committed. With all that you are going through with your mom, I'm really glad you have this group of like-minded others to help alleviate your feeling of isolation.

OK, back to the couch again for me. I am still very sore and tired. But so relieved and happy! Now I can actually celebrate my birthday!


10-06-2011, 02:41 PM
Hi .. yesterday was a healthy day. I am always grateful for that. I am grateful for the willingness to keep trying.

I accomplished many of my goals: planned/measured/logged food, meditations, lots of water, stretches & strengthening, weighed, and mammogram, etc.
I weighed this morning - down two

breakfast - one piece soy bacon, pnb toast, pumpkin with sfs, cinn
snack - roasted green beans
lunch - Italian stewed tomatoes on baked potato, parm cheese, grapes
snack - cereal, milk, strawberries
dinner - tuna salad, tossed salad with evoo/vinegar, rice cakes
snack - pnb on rice cake, swiss cheese
lots of water
stretches & strengthening
plan/measure/log food
Fork down, no seconds, leave a bite, eat seated only
No choice/red light

Maryann - I eat my pumpkin as a warm side dish - ½ cup pumpkin (not pie filling), 1t. Smart Balance Margarine, cinnamon, sugar free maple syrup. (sometimes real maple syrup). Salt (I used to include salt) I like it because it’s tasty & two vegetable exchanges.

I will try to get back later. Much to do.

Thanks, as always, for your support, wisdom and listening ear.

10-06-2011, 10:01 PM
Hi Everyone :flow2:

Pretty good day today, I got a couple of good nights sleep and seemed to have kicked that cold right out of my system. Maybe Zumba sweated it away before it could take hold! My eating has been OP and I've been tracking, leaving a bite, eating slowly (although that was never an issue for me, I'm always the last one to finish eating no matter where I'm at), tried today to be more mindful of eating, weighed (up but due to TOM) and am going to work out after I finish this post.

Reading through all the comments about the program and the extent of it I realized that one thing I had not done was finish the task on day 41 and the future to-do-list. I was going to make smaller copies of the to-do-list on page 265 of the pink book so they would fit into my diet journal and I would not have to re-write it everyday. Well today is day 63 of me on the program and this morning, after reading a few posts, I got up from my desk and went straight to the photocopier to get them done. I now have 35 days worth of copies and have added 7 days worth to my book. In reading over the list I realize that if I do read it every morning at the same time as my ARC it will give me some really good reminders on tasks to remember. I need to commit to doing the program if I expect it to succeed. I had a really good conversation with a good friend today and was reminded of the quote "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." That's where I was slipping back to in thinking I could work the program without actually following the tasks. So credit to me for realizing this and making changes.

maryann Thanks for the smoothie recipe. I'll have to get some canned pumpkin and try it this weekend. It's Thanksgiving in Canada and will be a nice treat. My parents will be here for a couple days and I know my mom will enjoy it.

4EverLearning Great news on your test results. :carrot:

pamatga Good luck on your buddy challenge, you have it in you to succeed and win the race! Remember your goal when your "old friends" Wendy and Papa John want to come calling.

:wave: hi to everyone out there. Time to head upstairs and dust off that Wii Fit game.

10-06-2011, 11:27 PM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Just waving. I'm headed off to a three day weekend with lots of chances for wandering off plan at airports, restaurants, hotel breakfast bars, and whatever. I have a plan that includes some leeway since I'll be with a bunch of old, old friends. I'm working on the notions that celebration doesn't need to include every appetizer offered and that long dawdling meals can happen with after dinner coffee instead of dessert trays.

Have a great weekend you guys; I'll be back to post on Monday.

10-07-2011, 10:05 AM
Wow, am I really the first one in here this morning?

report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up 1), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite, almost missed my class again this morning because I'd set my alarm wrong but I woke up just in time to dress and still have time to walk, which I did NOT give myself a choice about doing. Contacted my diet buddy.

maryann -- I think you are spot on about taking what you can use and leaving the rest. No complex help program can possibly guarantee that EVERY STEP is equally important to ultimate success.

pamatga -- I so agree that we can take these skills to other parts of our life. Recognizing our sabotaging thoughts and coming up with helpful responses ahead of time can help us succeed in anything.

Robin -- Hooray on the pathology report! And great insight on whether those of us who tend to be all-or-nothing thinkers might find ourselves having to fight the tendency to the we have to be all-or-nothing on Beck's program! LOL!

Beverlyjoy -- Yay for accomplishing so many goals, and for being down 2 pounds! :)

Tazzy -- Wow, I wish I was a naturally slow eater! I think I'm going to try to be the last one finished as well as leaving a bite of everything!

BBE -- Love that notion that long dawdling meals can happen with after dinner coffee instead of dessert trays.

10-07-2011, 12:27 PM
Good Morning, Coaches,

Eating still not completely OP. Wandered into frosted animal cookies at the meeting last nite. They used to be like crack to me. Now it is just annoying. Oh Well. Back OP. Scale down .2 Go Figure. Read ARC cards. Told the truth. Listened to my kid. Ate sitting down. lots of good and it is only 8 am. Off to Tahoe with another family. I am planning on making and baking several things to keep OP and save money. Exercise will be hiking the beautiful Rubicon Trail alongside the lake - 6.5 mile.
BBE: Enjoy your time with friends.
Valerie: credit for making it to your class. My yoga is at 10 am.
Tazzy:Enjoy your folks and the smoothies.
Everyone else: Have a great weekend.

10-07-2011, 01:28 PM
GD everyone! :coffee2: :sunny:

I am going to begin "reporting" the Beck skills I am working on. I started doing that when I first came here last winter and then I just fell away from that. After I posted yesterday, I wondered if I had given the impression that I wasn't working on specific Beck skills because the truth is I am. With so many new faces here in the past couple of months, you may or may not be aware of what specific areas I needed to work on and what I was doing to remedy that.

Having said that, I want you to know that I am not going to "report" the skills I have already mastered or were never a problem for me even before choosing to use Beck skills with my present food plan. So, if I don't mention something like eating mindfully or eating slowly, it is because I either never really had a problem with that or I "mastered" that almost immediately as I worked through the book.

Gardenerjoy and I were working through each day at the same time last spring and I used to post about that particular day but since I have finished the book, I haven't done that. From now on, I will share with you what I am doing in regards to the Beck skills I still need to master.

Skills I am working on:

1) reading my cards. It only took me reading them about 3-4 days after reading the book through before I had my 1 1/2" thick stash of recipe cards memorized. However, since that is key to the auto-suggestion part of this program, I have decided that I am going through my cards (began last night) and those I have mastered, I am tossing and the rest I am going to read daily. My end goal is to have no cards to read. Then, I will consider myself to be fully indoctrinated in this program.
2)eating within a specific calorie range so I can facilitate consistent and steady weight lose. Hence, the reason behind me joining these Buddy Challenges over on Biggest Loser Club site. The Challenges have so many built in reporting for accountability that I keep it pretty simple here. Let it be known though I log everything I eat daily, I have a "clean" kitchen and I cook according to my food plan (organic when possible, no white anything, no added sugar, whole not processed). I just need to eat less food.
3) which leads into the next skill I am working on: when I have eaten the designated calories for the day, the kitchen is closed. "Hunger is not an emergency" is almost tattooed on my forehead at this point. I have already accepted that I have to sit with feeling empty and be okay with that. I am accustomed to accepting the miseries of life well so the "unfairness" syndrome that Dr. Beck speaks in her book, I had no problem with. Of course, this sucks but I want to lose weight so I will tolerate it. No ifs, ands or buts.
4)Pre-planning and planning meals and snacks. I am tweaking what this means exactly for me and how I can remain somewhat flexible but not so flexible that I set myself up for failure. This is a "work in progress"
5)Mastering the 7 Question Technique (in pink book)

In the interest of not making this a Moby Dick version of what I am doing, I will stop there. I feel blessed that I am a naturally slow eater. I have shared with this group before how I have had restaurant managers come over and ask me if the food is okay. I always tell "No, I am just a slow eater." Thanks to my working a 12 Step program, my emotional eating is almost a thing of the past. Now, I rarely think about "fixing life's sticky problems" with extra food. I feel grateful for that skill learned.

The single most effective way I have learned to deal with accumulating stress is physical exercise. Besides, the obvious reasons of working out so as to be healthier and more fit, it is a great way of "burning off the blues". Life just looks better after I have sweated some. The second habit I have in dealing with stressful situations is to access the situation, determine what I can do about it then I do it. My husband says he admires this strength of mine. It sure reduces the amount of time I spend worrying about something. I would say that skill falls under the "problem solving" and "Oh well" categories.

Five months ago, I had to work on the "Believing I Can Do This" part of this program. I had to overcome the despondency I felt from previous attempts and failure to lose weight. However, once I used these "cognitive" strategies coupled with finding a physical program that addressed my chronic pain (I have advanced arthritis) so I could actually fall asleep and then stay asleep through most of the night, got on a pain management routine with pain meds that assisted me in pursuing one of my first loves: exercising, then I knew I could follow through on the rest of this.

I will add that having worked this "CT" program for nearly 6 months now, I am feeling more confident that I will lose the remainder of my weight and keep it off for the rest of life. That sounds like a bold and sweeping statement but I honestly in my core of being, believe this to be true!

My personal "challenge" this coming weekend is not to use food as a "buddy" during the 36 hours of "home alone" time I will have. I will report on Monday how things went.

Stats for 10/6:
***2204 calories 36 g fiber 2685 mg sodium
***walked 3300 steps 2-10 min on treadmill
**F/V: whole apple, dried cranberries, raisins, v-8 juice, tomato, green peppers, onions, 5-bean casserole
**I had a 20 oz bottle of Coke with the pizza I ate last night. That is the first breach from my "No Sugar Added" rule.

P.S. Since pizza is my Kryptonite, I did damage control from the minute I ordered it. I got the thin crust, all vegetables, lite cheese and lite sauce. I calculated how much I could eat to stay within my food plan and immediately put it away in the refrigerator, where it is now. I do "allow" myself "one Coca-Cola" when I eat either pizza or burgers and fries (which is occcasionally) simply because I feel Coke complements those foods much like a good chianti complements a good steak.

Robin Wonderful news on the lab report. Glad to hear you are healthy!!:hug:


10-07-2011, 08:07 PM

Yesterday didn't go so well (unplanned snacking) after delving into some emotional family stuff. This morning I weighed, had my planned breakfast, confirmed my food intake for the rest of the day, then came up with a planned distraction. I am painting my living room. I've wanted to for a long time but am always doing someone elses' projects. It's been great as I've spent alot of time talking with my sibling, trying to assist with the ongoing situation, but it's been on my bluetooth with a paintbrush in hand. I won't finish tonight but need to keep going as long as I have :sunny:

Oh, Pam(atga), was someone supposed to inquire about your painting project at some point? ;)

Have a great weekend everyone!

10-07-2011, 10:16 PM
Hi Becksters.... a really busy couple of days. Just checking in to say that I have been doing well on my plan and many of my goals.

I got myself a gold bracelet to wear to remind me to give myself credit. It is so easy to lick the spoon when cooking... I am really working on that. Thursday - I had many successes with this.

I'll check in again tomorrow.

I weighed today and was down another pound... seems like my weight gain from when company came to visit - is coming off. I am grateful.

10-07-2011, 10:29 PM
Evening everyone,

After a crazy week at work I am now home relaxing and enjoying it. Had a good day today, weighed (down .6), had food plan, ate seated and mindfully, ate to normal fullness, resisted a second piece of pizza at dinner with distractions and am now feeling very comfortable. Also did not want to use the calories for it when I may choose a healthy snack later.

This morning I decided to plan to walk home from the train after work. My DH was coming home earlier and I volunteered to do the train ride today. When I got to the station I had 3 choices; 1 - call DH for a ride, 2- wait 10 minutes for the community bus and walk 10 minutes home or 3 - walk home from the station. I'm happy to say that I considered the other two and thought things won't change if I don't make some changes so I turned up the music on my Ipod and starting walking. The bus went by me half way home but that was just fine. I got in a really good 35 minute brisk walk. :running:

Looking forward to a nice, quiet 3 day weekend and hoping to get out on my bike a couple more times plus have Zumba again on Sunday. Have a great weekend everyone and Happy Thanksgiving to those in Canada.:turkey:

10-08-2011, 10:08 AM
Happy Weekend everyone :coffee2:

For those Canadians who observe Thanksgiving :thanks2: save the drumstick for me and a piece of pumpkin pie. Yum. Yum.

Hey Tazz Great Job with all you are doing! Isn't that a neat feeling when you decide something really good for yourself at the last minute? Give yourself a big :woohoo:

:rofl: Lexxiss You, my dear, have a very good memory. I had asked Mr. Bill if he would remind me but I think he has his own projects to keep track of. I agree it IS time to work on our projects. :hyper:

I have spent the past 36 hours getting my DH ready to go to his men's retreat. I knew he was working and running all over the city of Atlanta with his job and it was one less stressor he had to deal with. I drove him to the site in the dark very early this morning and I was clutching the steering wheel all the way back since I was in an unfamiliar area with lots of trees to obscure any visible signage I might recognize. I gave him my hooded sweatshirt to wear when he gets up for 5 a.m. prayers tomorrow since it has turned quite chilly and I am sure the church's furnace is not programmed to turn on this time of year, no matter what the thermostat might say.

Well, as I said yesterday, for the new ones here, I will try to be more specific about which Beck skills I am currently working on since I don't want to give the impression that I am just showing up for the chit chat. Again, my end goal is to tear up the response cards with the Beck skills I have down pat until I end up with nothing to read except maybe my palm (yours?);)

Beck skills I am currently working on:

1) Pre-planning my meals. I still am one of those people who fly by the seat of their pants but I am trying to hit the basics through out the day so I meet all of my nutritional needs, space out my calories (the hardest for me) and drink plenty of h2O. My latest "Food Challenge" over on BLC is really helping me to stay focused on just that one task.
2) New Rule as of yesterday: when I am feeling uninspired to exercise, I am going to "draw a line" where I have to at least walk 2-10 minute sessions on the treadmill. No if, ands or buts.
3)This whole past week has been about learning to sit with feeling hunger and not doing anything about it.
4) defining full. I even managed to be "normal" full this past week eating pizza. Now, that is a huge step for me! It is still in my refrigerator too two days later.
5)Eating within my recommended calorie range. Again, this ties in with sitting with hunger and not eating because of that. This is another one that is a HUGE deal for me because I hate to eat less. My self-will wants to eat more especially food I really love (like pizza) so this will probably take longer to really nail this one.

Right now, I am sitting here reading HALF the amount of cards that I used to! I consider that proof that I am not only following this CT but that it is rooted in both my thinking and behavior as well.

Stats for 10/7:
**1864 calories 32 g fiber 2058 mg sodium
**drank 64 oz H2O purposely (first time in long time!)
***4300 steps 2-10 min sessions on treadmill
***F/V: whole apple, whole banana, o.j., watermelon, (2) green beans, 1 bean curd(taste like scrambled eggs), 1 broccoli, 1 tomato and 2 spinach.
***Decided on new "Rule" with myself: when I am tired and feeling lazy about exercise I will draw a line and do at least 2-10 minutes sessions on the treadmill---no ifs, ands, or buts!
***"rewarded" with 2 lbs lose on scales and lower sodium (got to be the water)

10-08-2011, 10:26 AM
Happy Saturday, Beckies... yesterday was a healthy day - I am always grateful for that.

We had dinner out last night with our neighbor's who are moving to Idaho today. It's been teary. I will miss them. Alexandra was my 'roadie' for two summers. Blake 'created' and always looked forward to the Dancing with the Stars 'kickoff party'. They all were kind, thoughtful, fun neighbors. I am grateful that he got this good job.

Dinner was at a restaurant where there isn't much that isn't salty or 'lightish'. (their pick) I was willing to ask the waitress about a particular dish and how I could change it to be more healthy. She said in the next breath... we can order it light oil and no salt. It pays for having the willingness to ask for what you want. As Dr. Beck says - the waitstaff hear requests all the time. I am grateful I stayed on plan at dinner.

Yesterday, my friend LeighAnne, came over to help in the garden. It was lots of moving around for sure.

I accomplished many of my goals.
weigh - down
lots of water
spontaneous exercise (don't faint) gardening and using stairs extra times
meditations - twice (this helps when I am willing to do it)
my new bracelett did actually remind my to think 'credit' & smile

Today is hanging out with DH day. I love college football.. so we'll try and get all the major Saturday chores done before noon. Put out the trap for that darn groundhog.

I will aim to come back for personals when watching the games.

10-08-2011, 11:42 AM
Hello Coaches

I gave up just around Sept 26th, as I was driving to Ottawa to see my mom and my sister, who was visiting from Florida for my mother's birthday. The two of us stayed in separate model suites at the retirement residence where my mom lives. My mother, who has alzheimer's, was in good shape but on the day of her birthday, she was constantly surprised that it was her birthday. As with all visits to my mom, I was dealing with family & family members who choose to be absent & others who are estranged & the others who we wish were still around. All these characters inhabited my visit to my mom. I thought it would get easier to go back and visit. Instead it's getting tougher.

I'm back home now, and it's almost 2 weeks later. I have had little to no desire to do the work to "lose weight" or "get healthy" or "get back on plan". I certainly do not want to accept that I need to lose weight slowly, or exercise, or eat less. I am in a full on rebellion. I am still fighting a losing battle, and have not admitted that this battle is going to kill me before I kill it.

How dumb is that?

I have plenty of distractions as it's full on selling-my-art-making-things season: studio tours happening, guild shows happening, applications to xmas craft shows, planning/daydreaming about my Florida residency in February, planning/researching my next big move after that, striving to make solid connections and some friends here in my new town.

But I have to say, I got jolted back into my body (all these distractions serve to remove me from the condition of my body) by a very simple thing. I was participating in a raku firing in the parking lot of the potters' guild early this week. The kiln is outside and you get your piece of pottery, coat it with a glaze and place it into the kiln for firing. The kiln gets to 1000F and you open the door and quickly go back and forth to the kiln, large unwieldy iron tongs in hand, picking up your hot hot ceramic thing and then carrying and dropping it into a pit in the ground or a metal bucket lined with sawdust and shredded paper. Lots of smoke. Lots of fire. Very hot. It's required that we wear our jeans and long sleeved shirts, nothing polyester, as a spark can catch on us and poof-not good. So, you guessed it, I located the jeans which I haven't worn in months and months. I hated these jeans to begin with (they were too short) and now the zipper just-does-up. I had to undo them to drive over to the raku firing. I even undid them when no one was looking. Now I have to buy new jeans one size larger (a 22?):wizard: presto-chango I am jolted back into my body and into my reality of whattheheckamIdoing???!!

I can't tell you how many "revelations" like this I have had. I fear I won't make a change until some doctor tells me something horrific. I wonder why I am, seemingly, so self-destructive and not more self-protective?

I also did not take advantage of a real opportunity to promote myself and my artwork. I know that as an artist I am my work... people see it and see me too behind it. I need to jump on the opportunities offered to me and I turned one down that I really wanted to do, would love to have done, should have done, would have been great at... because I felt I would be udged for how I look... I had a chance to be on local tv. I just ignored the email request and 2 days later said yes and it was too late. Others filled the time. I did that--limited myself because of my weight. I don't usually do that. I can't tolerate that behaviour. It can't happen again.

So, now I'm here catching up, and as I read some of the posts and see the weight-loss and health successes of those who've been around here as long as me, I think a very small thought... maybe that can be me too. Honestly, I don't really believe it so, like pamataga wrote a few days ago, I guess I have to start at the Believe It Beck dictum. I do know there is some part that knows the answer is here.... somewhere... with you guys. My Beck books are still packed away in a box. I'm going to start looking for them


--weighed in yesterday for an official weight of 283.4. Have maintained over my two weeks of gving-up it seems. Did not weigh-in this morning.
--recording my food today DONE
--will plan a walk for 5 minutes DONE
--no seconds at MIL for Thanksgiving meal. Will be aware of her food-pusher personality during our visit this afternoon. DONE
--LONGER TERM GOAL: a birthday challenge of 5 min of planned activity everyday until my birthday Nov 4th.

UPDATE: had two unplanned bits of food - both forays into a bit of extra ham taken and eaten quickly, in secret, both reactions to stress and tension and both questioned and stopped. Otherwise, on plan.

10-08-2011, 07:55 PM
I did come back for personals.... did them in my word processer. I thought I had posted them and saved. Apparently I didn't. I had deleted it on the WP.

Oops.... not fair!.... Oh well.

10-08-2011, 08:23 PM
Hello Beck friends!

My "distraction from emotional eating" project continues. I am almost through with this part of the painting and I'm happy to report I have not engaged in unplanned eating today. I have a plan for tonight and feel confident that I will stick to it. I started painting early and forgot to weigh. I will not forget tomorrow. My exercise today has been up and down the ladder and swinging my arms back and forth many times. I was actually a little sore this morning.

Pam(atga), :lol: my recollection was that you asked any of us...which is why I brought it up. After 20 years, my DH has finally accepted that my memory is much better than he might wish.

Back to the ladder. I must finish this portion very soon. Leaving things unfinished is an eating trigger for me and I don't want to have to leave the house in disarray by finishing tomorrow.

BTW-we got snow this morning. :brr:

10-08-2011, 09:49 PM
The conference went well, including my presentation -- it filled the room and I got lots of positive feedback afterwards. My food was fine and I walked every chance I had. The weather in Kansas City was beautiful, if windy, so I skipped a couple of sessions one day and took a walk of more than an hour.

I saw lots of people who should have noticed my weight loss. And they noticed my hair color. Oh well. My hair looks good, too. One other librarian has lost a similar amount of weight and we had a really nice interaction.

WI: -0.3kgs, Exercise: +35 245/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

pamatga: I quickly read through posts while I was away and I think you asked about alternative spreads for bread. Here's mine: I mix two parts yogurt cheese (strained nonfat yogurt) with one part mayonnaise. I actually like it better than butter or mayo, now -- more creamy, less greasy.

Michi702: I reworded a number of Beck's responses when they seemed to cheesy or too negative to me. Would it help to choose one of Beck's things to do and flagrantly violate it? I read while I eat and I think that little rebellion actually helps me follow the rest of the program. I am also a person of little faith. For me, a fake it 'til you make it approach worked because this program does work. A few successes under your belt and you won't need faith anymore, you'll have experience.

4EverLearning: yay for a negative cancer screening!

onebyone: glad to see you back here (I miss you when you're gone).

10-09-2011, 01:21 AM
Sorry I did not make it in here yesterday. I decided to take a "short nap" at 6PM last evening and intended to post when I woke up--and the next thing I knew it was 8AM this morning!! I was really, really tired from the stress of the last few weeks, plus the anesthesia, and I hadn't slept well for weeks. I think once the relief of a definitive answer set in, I gave in completely to my exhaustion. I'm still very sore and feeling oddly blue and out of sorts, when I should be jumping for joy.

my report: My weight was down 1.6 yesterday and up 1.2 today (and the swelling seemed to be less yesterday but was noticeable again today). Ate slowly and mindfully, remembered to save a bite of most things for my kitty, tolerated a lot of hunger today. Took a walk today but still feel too sore to work out at the gym; am hoping I feel up to it by the time of my next personal training session on Tuesday morning. I do not feel that I have really made exercise a true habit yet, so I don't want to go too long without doing it, for fear that I will then use that as as excuse to give up on it completely.

Tazzy, you've got lots to give yourself credit for--photocopying those task lists, planning a way to insure that they get done, walking home from the train.

You, too, Pam--implementing the NO CHOICE rule for exercise, doing damage control for your pizza. I'm very impressed at your statement that emotional eating is a thing of the past. Winning that battle alone goes a long way toward winning the war!

onebyone, since I'm new here, I'm not sure what your history is with the Beck program or with dieting, but the quiet desperation I sense in your post tugs at my heartstrings. Honor that little voice that says "maybe this can be me, too" by working toward the health and happiness you deserve. Did you try Beck for awhile and then give up on it, or have you never quieted your rebellion long enough to really commit to give it a chance? Either way, give yourself credit for completing some tasks that can give you a feeling of control. All those small successes add up--one choice at a time.


10-09-2011, 08:45 AM
Hi...friends... -yesterat my food plan took some twists and turns... but, it turned out OK. I am grateful for that.
I accomplished many goals too: meditation (2 times), weigh (down a bit) read arc/rc, stayed within my plan (mostly), did my journal work, exercise, shouted back at some sabatoging thoughts and more.

DH brought home candy from the store. He loves candy... and is not overweight. I even asked him not to bring home a bunch of candy - he said it was things I don't like. (one was ) Alas, I did have some licorice and counted it as a 'fruit' exchange. That's ok to do once in a while... but, it's a slippery slope. Then the cub scouts came by and DH bought some carmel popcorn. I had a small taste of that. Finally, I insisted that DH keep all this goodies out of my sight. Credit. Even with all my little nibbles I stayed within the perimeters of my overall food exchange plan. Credit.

I pulled a muscle in my middle back when I did an overextended reach to get something. Big ouch. I am hoping it will be fine in a couple of days. I've been exercising everyday this week. Credit!! This is discouraging.... but - life happens and then you go to plan B.I I guess I'll just do lower body for a couple of days. This is a good time to remind myself that food doesn't cure any physical pain or stress. I need to tatoo this to me brain today!!

Today I'll be taking it easy a bit. DH and I hang out.

Have a great day friends.

10-09-2011, 10:29 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully, though I did walk around with my breakfast yesterday morning at the farmers' market. I do that every week because I want shoppers to see my breakfast and buy breakfast themselves. :) Got a ton of exercise, but got to the end of the day and still hadn't contacted my diet buddy -- crazy busy day, and I just couldn't get to it. Farmers' market, our end-of-year vendor meeting, lunch with daughter and husband, helped daughter with college application stuff, then last night we went to see a performance of As You Like It, which was fantastic. And it was my birthday! :)

maryann -- I seem to have to exercise absolutely as early as possible or risk not getting to it. I feel like I lose motivation for vigorous exercise as the day wears on. I'm up for a walk, no problem, any time of day. But a 10am, I've lost heart. :)

Pam -- It's probably too late for the ones you've already gotten rid of, but I wonder if instead of pitching the cards that you've already mastered, you might stick them into your memory box? That way you'll have them as memories (you could even put the date on them that you put them into the box) PLUS every once in a while you'll have the opportunity to come across them and they won't be so "memorized" feeling. Love this: Life just looks better after I have sweated some. And good for you for eating until normally full on pizza! Really good pizza is definitely a difficult food for me to turn down that second helping of, but it ALWAYS leads to me feeling overfull. I can turn it down, but it's still always a decision at this point rather than automatic.

Debbie -- Good for you for finding a distraction! You sure can't eat while you're painting a room! :)

BeverlyJoy -- A new piece of jewelry, especially a bracelet or ring which you can really -feel- at first, is a great idea for reminding yourself to give credit! And credit you for asking the waitress how they could make the dish healthier! Re: pulling a muscle in your back. Do you do any core work? I used to pull muscles in my back regularly, but since I've started doing planks and crunches and other core work, that has completely ended (knock on wood.)

Tazzy -- Yay for walking home!

onebyone -- Do you have an Advantages deck? I ask because I am wondering whether you have focussed so much on the single advantage of something like "I will be better able to take advantage of the professional opportunities afforded by this artist residency" and not enough on all the other advantages of losing weight. I sometimes feel that when people are focussed very intently on losing a significant amount by a certain event, they have a hard time seeing setbacks as anything but catastrophic because that event date is closer every day and every slipup makes getting that advantage less likely. When you have a stack of 25 cards, it's easier to see that that looking good for that one reason is only ONE of the advantages of losing weight, and that even if you don't get that advantage, you still get ALL the other ones. (Just as an aside -- for myself, I have found that events are counterproductive as weightloss motivation. They don't help. They actually HURT my ability to stay on track. But again, that's just me, and I'm sure a lot of folks have successfully used, "I want to look good in my wedding photos" or whatever as motivation.)

gardenerjoy -- Just as an FYI -- it feels rude to me to comment on a weightloss. I don't like hearing "Wow, you've lost weight" myself, because the message I actually hear is "Boy, were you fat!" :) So I never comment on people's weightloss except to say something like, "You look great!" LOL on your little reading rebellion! I love that! :)

Robin -- OMG, a 14-hour sleep must have made you feel SO much better! But feeling a bit blue and out of sorts is probably very normal. You were on tenterhooks for weeks. You are going to feel wrung out when it's over, even though it's over in a very good way. Watch that swelling if it seems to keep increasing instead of decreasing! Is there any heat?

Happy Thanksgiving, Canadians!

10-09-2011, 05:37 PM
Hi Coaches

I managed to not have seconds all day yesterday *credit* Twice I reached for extra ham while I was alone with it in the kitchen and I reached over and snuck it very very fast into my mouth. And each time it stopped right there *credit* I did it once at my MIL's house and once at home with leftovers sent home with me. *credit* for getting 5min of walking done yeasterday and 5+many more minutes of walking done today. We are out of town, on a free vacation. Our SIL won a free one night stay in Southern Ontario and tickets to see the local county fair with food coupons and everything. We are just chillin' in the hotel room before we head out back and grill up dinner. It's nice here. This is a part of the province I used to come to as a kid with my grandparents to visit my great aunt and uncles and second cousins. They all lived on tobacco farms. I found their respective gravesites online and they awere all b uried in the same graveyard so I was there paying my respects this afternoon. One grave had me in tears; a second cousin who was abused in his lifetime, pretty much estranged from his family, who died alone, old, in a rooming house. I was in tears as he has no headstone of his own but is etched into the back of the headstone of his parents. It just seemed so much a reflection of his life to me. It made me sad but I was happy to remember him and the others. It was a good thing to do.

That's it. Bye for now.

credits: weighed in (+0.2)
-exercise completed for the day
-recording my food
-no seconds
-eating veggies and fruit today
-drinking my water
-made new advantage cards today and read them

10-09-2011, 11:24 PM
Blech. Somehow I managed to catch a cold on top of everything else, which has not improved my mood. I had to skip church and go to school for 8 hours today to catch up on all of the work I needed to get done before my classes and meetings tomorrow (work I would normally have done last week if I hadn't taken a few days off to recover from surgery). And I have four ridiculously busy days in a row coming up. Between classes, meetings (some at school and some not), and appointments, I will be out of the house for at least 12 hours straight each day. I actually have several instances where I am supposed to be two places at once and will have to figure out which commitment is most critical. And Friday, which is normally a day off for me, I have an 8-hour seminar at the main campus of my university, 65 miles away. In fact, the crazy schedule I knew I'd be facing this week is the main reason that I chose to have my surgery last Tuesday rather than this coming Tuesday; I knew I would just be reneging on too many commitments if I took time off this week. But I am not feeling ready to deal with it all yet. Oh, well, as Beck would say! Time to move on and get over myself!

my report: My weight was down .4, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did not exercise, contacted my diet buddy, posted here.

I am still feeling as if I have not fully regained my footing from the recent weeks of extreme stress, and I don't feel fully in control of my eating at the moment. It's not that I've reverted to my old habit of eating for comfort; I haven't (of which I am very proud). It's just that my confidence has been shaken on so many levels, so I'm not feeling very secure in my own ability to continue to resist.

So before I go to bed I am going to write out a detailed eating plan for tomorrow, which I haven't done in a while. (I always have a general plan in my head, and I always stick to it; I just haven't committed it to writing for the last several weeks.) As for tomorrow's plan, just figuring out WHEN I will have a few minutes to eat will be a challenge; I will probably have to eat at least one meal in the car while driving from my campus to the main campus, but it can't be helped. I am also going to set my alarm for 45 minutes earlier than normal (even though I am SO not a morning person!!) so that I will have time to read and think about my cards first thing, and to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes. That will be a good way to get a very long day off to a good start.

Val, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Hope it was as fantabulously splendiferous as you are!! :D BTW, I called my surgeon's office on Friday to ask about the swelling, and they asked me the same question you did--does the area feel warm to the touch, and/or hard? The answer is no, so apparently the swelling is normal.

Time for me to write that plan and get to bed. Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow!


10-09-2011, 11:57 PM
I got to enjoy a fall tradition that's new to me the last two years -- putting spare change in the Knights of Columbus can, and then refusing the offered Tootsie Roll. Who knew that could be so fun and satisfying? A few years ago, I wouldn't have thought it possible.

WI: +0.2kgs, Exercise: +0 245/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

va1erie: good point about the rudeness of pointing out weight loss -- that could easily have been a factor.

4EverLearning: sorry you're blue, but I do think that's normal, if odd. I think a part of us gets all prepared to fight the good fight. When that opportunity gets yanked away, even though it's good news, there's a kind of grief associated with the loss of the project it represented. In that situation what works for me is planning a trip or taking on some other positive project to take the place of the one that no longer needs attention.

10-10-2011, 06:54 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Happy Thanksgiving to all our Canadian posters - however difficult it is for me to think 'Thanksgiving' on a Monday after a lifetime of celebrating it only on Thursdays, LOL.

My eating while on travel was OK, CREDIT moi. I've done better when I had more control of food sources. Two evenings were spent where the choices were fried chicken or pre-made sub sandwiches. So the big deal for me was to stop at a reasonable portion size rather than accepting the Sabotaging Thought that since I'm eating outside of my food plan, might as well eat as much as I want. Hotel breakfast buffet was done pretty well, CREDIT moi, since I ducked the mounds of sugared carbs sitting out to grab the yogurts, bananas, apples, and mixed fresh fruits. It's good to be home and to know what I'm about to have for breakfast in my own kitchen.

onebyone – Big Kudos for standing down those second helpings all day long. Your second cousin's story is deeply touching.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Kudos for stealing the opportunity for a good walk. I love walking about in a different city - always tickled at the little things that are different than back home.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Congrats for your continued painting - you've been going at it for a while.

Beverlyjoy - Yep, Big Ouch for that pulled muscle. Hope you can figure out some useful exercises to ease it back into health. Love the wisdom in, " life happens and then you go to plan B."

Val (va1erie) – Happy Birthday!!! Great to spend it getting excessive exercise walking your Farmer's Market. LOL at the thought that it's your job to walk about eating breakfast - kinda hard to think of Beck strategies to counter one's work.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Fourteen hours of sleep is just amazing. Yay for your body getting what it needs.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1
Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.

what to do . . .

How will you know whether you are feeling hunger or non-hunger? Notice which sensations you experience in your mouth, throat, and body. Then ask yourself:
. . . Does my stomach feel reasonably comfortable, but I just feel like eating or have a mild yearning to eat? (If so, that's not hunger; it's probably a desire.). . .

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 74.

10-10-2011, 07:00 AM
Hello Coaches!

Anticipating brunch yesterday, I read my resistance cards BEFORE heading out. I made very good choices and left food on my plate. I have a food plan for today and I'm remembering I'm still at risk for emotional eating. I've already reviewed my Stage 4 Success Skills Sheet from the green book (p.272) and will use it as my guide today, checking off my boxes. My review shouted out to me that long hours of painting are not planned exercise. I haven't had a planned workout since Tuesday. I will make a plan and check it off my list today.

Diet Coaches/Buddies-I will be back later to catch up with everyone. It was important for me to check in but I have some morning tasks to accomplish.

10-10-2011, 08:46 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully and made reasonable choices -- a cheeseburger for lunch, but I only ate half of both the burger and the onion rings that came with it. Got no planned but lots of spontaneous exercise as the dh and I cleaned the garage. Contacted my diet buddy.

onebyone -- YAY YOU for not eating seconds and even stopping a slipup twice! Oh, what a sad story about your cousin. :(

Robin -- Bummer on the cold! :( And bummer on having to go into work yesterday and facing four ridiculously busy days this week. Good for you for going back to basics when you're feeling a little insecure in your skills, but why are you feeling insecure? You've done well with not resorting to food for comfort, you're maintaining your weight. Yay, you for planning to get up 30 minutes early to get onto the treadmill and read your cards. Hope all your planning gives you a feeling of greater control! :)

gardenerjoy -- Love your new fall tradition of enjoying refusing unplanned food!

BBE -- Good for you for fighting the sabotaging thought that since your only choices were off plan, you might as well blow it big! I tell myself I can have anything I want in a reduced portion. Sometimes I want more bulk, but sometimes I really want that cheeseburger and fries and am happy to have half a burger and a few fries instead of a bulkier portion of broiled chicken and broccoli.

Debbie -- Great job reading your cards before heading to brunch!

10-10-2011, 12:27 PM
I'm finding myself a bit agitated today. I'm considering that a very clear message for me to stick with my plan for the day. I read my cards and printed out the Stage 4 Success Skills Sheet for the week and have already checked off several items. I'm not up to a big distraction project today but have a fun one all planned for later.

BillBlueEyes, glad to hear your trip went well! It's a great reminder that off plan food (when it's all there is) IS NOT an acceptable reason for overeating. Kudos for reasonable portion sizes and making the best choices possible. I'll bet you enjoyed the comfort of breakfast in your own home this morning.

gardenerjoy, yay for resisting that tootsie roll! Our new bank had them out on Saturday and I specifically resisted although I momentarily entertained the thought that "just one won't hurt."

Robin(4EverLearning), take care as you head into this extremely busy week as you acknowledge that you have not fully regained your footing from the recent weeks of extreme stress. Kudos for recognizing it to be an important time to write out a detailed eating plan.

onebyone, credit for not having seconds all day Saturday, especially as you were at your food pushing MIL's. Thanks for sharing your story of revisiting your ancestors. It was a good thing to do. Credit, too, for your checklist of your Beck tasks, including new advantage cards.

Val(va1erie), happy belated birthday! *credit* for many mindful choices on your special day.

Beverlyjoy, yay for a day with twists and turns that worked out "OK". *credit* I hope your back gets better each and every day as you take it easy.

Pam(atga), *credit* for your new exercise plan, NO CHOICE. I am following your lead and adopting it, too.(not on the treadmill)

Tazzy, great job walking home from the train!

maryann, I hope your Tahoe visit was enjoyable. Great job planning ahead to keep OP.

10-10-2011, 05:53 PM
Happy Monday everyone, seems okay to say that when it's a day off! My weekend has been mostly good. Stayed OP on Sat, Sun morning and today. Sunday late afternoon/evening were not so good. I had tracked and planned well and then DH and I were not in the mood to make dinner and it became Miss Vicki's potato chips for him and Pringles for me. I even kept asking myself why I was doing it but that did not stop the process. I even made the mistake of volunteering to go out and buy them. Guess I needed to have my cravings/distraction card much closer at hand.

I woke up this morning thinking that this wasn't going to work, just like every other time and I would not lose anymore weight before we go on our cruise in Feb. But I got up, put on my workout clothes and headed to the basement with a new CD I got on Sat that I had not yet listened to. When I got dressed I put on a workout shirt that I won't wear to the gym as I think it's too tight and I stood and looked at myself in the mirror and thought I looked pretty darn good. Maybe the number on the scale is not reflecting it but the lost inches certainly are. I think I need to wear that shirt a little more often. :smug: I did 30 minutes on the treadmill and another 30 - 40 with a Nordic Flex machine that my brother gave me last winter to do some weight training.

DH and I worked in the yard and garage today, getting organized before the snow flies here. I still have carrots and onions in the garden and will continue to leave them there until I have no choice but to pull them all out. He's gone for one last motorbike ride of the year and I'm going to grab my book and take some time to read this afternoon.

So for tasks this last couple of days:

ate slowly and mindfully most of the time
ate to reasonable fullness, most of the time
read cards but only once in 3 days
weighed every day
exercised Sun (Zumba) and Mon (treadmill and weights)
food plans, Sat & Mon
Said oh well and back on track to the food frenzy of Sunday night
Checked in with all of you

10-10-2011, 06:33 PM
Credits: This was the first weekend in nearly nine months that I was "home alone". I had said that my "challenge" was to get through the weekend without visiting Hardee's, Wendy's and Papa Johns. Well, I did so why am I crediting myself? Here's why! I had Papa John's on Thursday night but I had a "normal" portion before putting the remainder in the refrigerator. I had it again on two other occasions, again having "normal" portions. I was hungry enough on Thursday where I could have eaten the whole thing. After all, the thin crust with vegetables is 1/2" thick! However, I didn't.

Then, in the dark I dropped off Paul at his men's retreat at a church on Saturday morning. This is the first time in many months that I had our car to myself. I found myself stopping by Hardee's for breakfast. I looked up my food plan from the past year and the last time I did this was January 28th!! I had half of what I used to order. It tasted as good as I remember. Greasy white fluffy carbs with greasy meat. :rofl: I felt really content.

Later that day I needed to break a $20 for change so I went through McDonald's drive through and got a chocolate-dipped cone. I pulled over to a shady area and had both windows opened. It was such a lovely moment. The breeze was cool and the leaves were rustling. That was "dinner", by the way. I felt really content.

I spent about an hour at my garden. Tomatoes are doing fabulous now that the temps are in the 70s. I restacked the heavier vines and watered the "sprouts" coming up. I felt really content.

Credit: I passed up the Krispy Kreme donut tent at our church and the offer of taking home not only fresh homemade banana bread and a beautiful looking coffee cake from my early Sunday Bible study class. Since I was "home alone" I did eat lunch at Wendy's. I could have had something somewhat healthy but I had a burger and fries with a regular Coke. I was disappointed though that I "spent" my valuable calories on food that was over cooked. :mad: If I am going to "stray" from my food plan, it darn well better be worth it!!:mad: That is how I look at it today.

Credit: that I didn't recommend that we go out to eat for dinner when I picked up Paul which is what I usually do so I feel that I can reconnect with him. I have always done this in the past. I used food as a bridge for intimacy. Instead, we came home and I asked him to share with me his day (in spite of my 4 hours of interrupted sleep). Conversation was the re-connection this time, NOT FOOD!!

Credit: realizing I needed sleep and I got it. I went to bed around midnight. I got up today and pre-planned all of my meals and I am on plan like a straight arrow.

Now, you all may say, how can she give herself credit for this weekend but I saw elements of a new me emerging and that is what I felt good about. I was thankful that since we have one car, and Paul is usually in it, that keeps me tettered to our home and therefore I am not out wandering around looking for fast foods to eat at like I used to many years ago. Some people may feel trapped by this but it has been an immense help in me disconnecting from some former really bad habits. It also made me aware of when the day comes and we have a second car again that hopefully by that time I will be far enough along in my "recovery" that I won't even think about doing that at all.

Credit: There was a time when excess food was my security blanket. I am so proud to say that I have spent the past couple of days "eating down" our refrigerator contents and now it is getting quite bare. It looks like a 20 something single guy lives here (if you know what I am talking about!--all beer and leftover pizza and nothing else):D:D I feel content with a nearly bare refrigerator. I don't feel the need to surround myself with lots and lots of food.

Credit I hate to say this but there is another reason why I am eating down what was in our refrigerator. I bought two beautiful :hug: pairs of shoes Saturday online. In other words, I spent the money that I "should have" spent on groceries on shoes. This is soooo acting like a teenager but I fell in love and I have wanted them for soooo long. I knew that Paul was going to be fed well at his men's retreat so I "justified" that I wasn't hurting either of us by buying those instead of food. So, now I have switched from having food as one of my "loves" to shoes!!!:D:D

onebyone We missed you so much! Don't give up! Get some rest and come back here and we will help you as you figure out what to do next. I hear you about turning down opportunities because of being so big. I am just now feeling like I want to be out in the world after losing enough to drop a size and feeling good about how I look. I have been there. I know. I know.:(

Bill welcome back!

Robin I have slept that long when I was finished with final exams in college. I once slept 22 hours!

Val thanks for all of your valuable insights. Nope, the cards are out to the garbage already. I have my "hand to the plow" and I am not looking back.

bev or lexxiss whomever had the bracelet for her credits, great idea, mine is new shoes. I now look at them and I just SMILE. :D


10-10-2011, 09:20 PM
Hi Coaches

The phenomenal weather continues. It was 75F pretty much all weekend. We ate outside twice for this Thanksgiving weekend, and actually visited a beach once! Unheard of.

Well we walked about 4+ hours today *credit* so I got to tick off my next 5min bout of exercise. I'm committed to 5min a day and if I get more, whatever. It's the 5min everyday day after day that will help me get my desire to do more to lose weight back.

We had a great time at the county fair. It was a real agricultural fair. So glad we went.

-exercise completed for the day
-no seconds
-eating fruit today
-planned my food for tomorrow and until Friday morning
-drank my water
-checked in with my coaches (thanks for the commnets/suggestions everyone...)

didn't: read my cards, record my food, weigh in

10-10-2011, 09:42 PM
hi... yesterday was a healthy day. So grateful. I found myself wanting lick the spoon or whatever before or after a meal. But, I stopped myself at least five times. I am happy about that.

I am taking some medicine for my back sprain/strain that is making me kind of loopy. But, it is helping some. Thankful. At this point I can bearly keep my eyes open.

Valerie - yes, I do core exercises. In fact, I concentrate on it. I do some stretches and strengthening exericse. I get very little aerobics in.

I am heading off to sleep.

Thanks to all for your support, wisdom and help. Hope I can chat more tomorrow.

10-10-2011, 11:03 PM
Next adventure: out of town family wedding for the weekend. No one seems to have thought about the scarcity of food options in Podunk, MO, so I made reservations at the least objectionable restaurant for one night and started to make plans to bring lots of healthy things for us and others for remaining meals.

WI: -0.25kgs, Exercise: +30 275/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

10-11-2011, 12:13 AM
Finally home after leaving the house 14 hours ago. My plan to get up early and get on the treadmill, though well intentioned, didn't pan out. I apparently hit the snooze button on my alarm without even coming fully awake, so I didn't realize I'd done it until it was too late to get on the treadmill. But I did start out by reading my cards, and I also made it a point to look extra nice today to try to improve my mood. I wore a very body-conscious splashy flowered sheath dress, a bright red fitted jersey blazer, and bright red shoes with 4 inch heels. Last Monday I got my hair trimmed and colored a medium chestnut brown (instead of honey blonde), which is pretty close to my natural color, and I decided I really like it. So I was feeling rather "struttable" when I left the house. And I got lots of compliments today, including one comment that I looked "stunning" and "like a model", which certainly didn't hurt my mood!

my report: My weight was down 1.6 this morning (that's more like it!) and the swelling has largely abated. I followed the food plan I wrote last night perfectly, and ate everything slowly and mindfully, while sitting down. I was even able to avoid having to eat in the car.

The meeting I had to go to at the main campus of my university was actually over much earlier than normal, so I was able to get back to my own campus in time to hear a guest speaker I really wanted to hear: John Elder Robison, who wrote a memoir ("Look Me in the Eye") about his life with Asperger's Syndrome. He is also the older brother of Augusten Burroughs, who also wrote a memoir ("Running with Scissors") that was made into a movie. I bought Robison's book tonight so haven't read it yet, but I have read "Running with Scissors". I remember fervently hoping that Burroughs' writing style tends toward the hyperbolic, because, if he is anything close to an objective reporter of his childhood, his family took the concept of dysfunctionality to unprecedented and exalted heights! Anyway, Robison was an absolutely delightful speaker--funny, irreverent, challenging, smart, insightful, inspiring, and entertaining. The audience was huge and included many parents of autistic children and a number of autistic children and adolescents as well. The audience broke into spontaneous applause many times. I'm really glad I was able to attend.

Lexxiss, you are right that part of my feeling blue is due to having geared up to "fight the good fight" if necessary and then discovering that I "wasted" a lot of psychic energy in the process (although I am exceedingly grateful that the effort did turn out to be wasted!). But I think my depressed mood has more to do with the fact that, once the worry about the surgery and a possible cancer diagnosis was resolved, my upset about being dumped by my supposed best friend once again came to the forefront, and I discovered that I hadn't completely worked that through yet. I got the abnormal mammogram report (which put me at a 5 on a 5-point scale of cancer risk, so I had good reason to be concerned), got blindsided by my BFF rejecting me, AND started the fall semester ALL ON THE SAME DAY. I was sent into a tailspin that I am still recovering from. My former BFF lives 1000 miles away from me, and I had just visited her a couple of weeks before and had no inkling that anything was wrong. No clue whatsoever. I'd had a great time and thought she did, too. But when I called her to tell her about the need for a breast biopsy, expecting comfort and support, instead she totally blew up at me, telling me that I am "no fun anymore" and that I am just not the same person now that I am skinny, that I am "obsessed" and "anorexic" (neither of those things is even close to being true), that I spent more time talking to Val online than I did with my friend when I was visiting her (patently ridiculous) and that I spent "all day" exercising (also patently ridiculous; I took a daily walk as I have every time I have visited her for the last 2.5 years, and she was never bothered by it before), that she hoped being skinny would be worth it when none of my friends want anything to do with me anymore, and on and on. Clearly she had been building up this resentment for a LONG time, although she had told me over and over how happy she was for me. (She and I used to be exactly the same size and could share clothes; while I lost 92 pounds, she gained another 20, so she is now almost twice my size. Given that, I totally understand why she would be uncomfortable around me and might feel squeamish about her own eating habits. But she had assured me so often that she was fine with it all that I eventually came to believe her. Silly me.) She hung up on me, and I have had no contact with her since. The worst part of the betrayal is that she "cyberstalked" me by reading my Beck posts on the thread that Val and I used to use, and she then sent tidbits from them to many of my other friends to try to get them to turn against me, too--and she did all of that even BEFORE she said a word to me about how unhappy she was with our friendship, trying to line people up on her side for reinforcement before doing battle with me. (Val and I were essentially the only ones posting on our former thread, so it felt like a private conversation even though it obviously wasn't. In fact, the reason that Val and I left that site and came over here is that we both felt way too uncomfortable at the way our posts were being used by my former friend.) Anyway, I was totally blindsided by the whole thing, and the stress of it was greatly compounded by the confluence of the cancer scare and the start of a new semester (and a totally ridiculous schedule that hardly gives me time to breathe, no less process all this crap).

Val, to answer your question about why I am feeling insecure about my eating when I have done so well so far and am maintaining my weight--today I had a flash of insight while I was teaching a class, doing a lecture on the self-concept and self-esteem and talking about strategies that can be used to enhance or protect your own self-esteem. I realized that I was guilty of the very cognitive distortion I was warning the students against: the error of overgeneralizing by letting a blow to my self-esteem in one component of my self-concept (my relationship with my former BFF) "bleed" into other components of my self-concept. My confidence in my ability to be a good friend was totally shaken. My confidence in my ability to perceive reality was even shaken up a bit, since I was clearly oblivious to the level of discontent in my friend. (And it is very humiliating to admit that; after all, I'm a trained psychologist!) So, bottom line--I let my shaken confidence in my friendship skills generalize to my dieting and maintenance skills and started to wonder if I can really do "anything" right. TOTALLY irrational, and I thought it through while I was driving to the main campus today and am feeling much, much better now that I have reframed the situation more rationally. (And of course the accusation that I am "obsessed" with my weight caused me to question all of the choices I have made and all of the habits I have changed, particularly my commitment to the Beck program, which, I realize, can look pretty extreme and excessive from an outsider's point of view. So that questioning certainly contributed to my insecurity about what I am doing to maintain my weight, whether it is really worth the effort, and whether I am capable of keeping up the necessary effort for the long haul.) I am sure that I will have to continue to do some processing to finally achieve closure on the loss of the single most important relationship I have ever had in my life, but thankfully I am feeling much saner now! And I have decided that being thin--and therefore infinitely healthier physically, and much happier--IS worth whatever it takes, even at the cost of my supposed best friend. The old me was miserable, both physically and emotionally. I like the new me much better, and I do not want to go back. And I really believe that, when a door closes, a window opens. I don't know yet exactly what new opportunities life will offer me now that I am so much more open to all of its possibilities, but I know that it will be worth my while to find out.

OK, enough of that. Sorry for the long, rambling, and probably self-indulgent post. Sometimes it really helps me process things if I write out my thoughts, but forgive me if I am abusing the privilege of using you guys as my sounding board!

gardenerjoy, I loved your story about putting change in the Knights of Columbus can and then refusing the Tootsie Roll. YAY you! Thati s exactly the kind of little change in behavior that indicates a HUGE change in mindset!

Lexxiss, painting may not be planned exercise, but it does burn calories, it is a wonderful distraction, it's constructive, AND it gives you a visible and lasting reward for all of your effort! What more can you ask? :smug:

Tazzy, I would definitely wear that formerly too-tight workout shirt to the gym. What a great reminder of your hard work and success!

onebyone, good for you for committing to five minutes of exercise EVERY day! I think I need to take a page from your book. I still tend to go to all-or-nothing extremes when it comes to exercise, sometimes exercising for several hours straight while other times using any flimsy excuse not to do it at all.

pamatga, if you once slept for 22 hours, you are obviously a great sleeper like I am! I sleep like the dead and occasionally do marathon sleeps to recover from days or weeks of sleep deprivation and my crazy schedule. And YAY you for finding a feeling of true contentment (as opposed to false comfort) in moderate amounts of favorite fast foods.

OK, I need to write out my eating plan for tomorrow and get to bed. I don't have an early morning class tomorrow but do have my first personal training session since my surgery. I'm not sure how much I will be able to do, since I am still sore and certainly do not want to tear my stitches. But I am looking forward to getting back to it. After my evening class tomorrow I am going out for a late dinner (a belated birthday celebration) with the friend who went with me to the hospital, so I need to build that meal (at Red Lobster) into my plan.

Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow!


10-11-2011, 07:38 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - So good to eat my own breakfast - on plan - CREDIT moi. Got into some walnuts in the afternoon - Ouch. Although not done yet, we're beginning to see the results of a freshly painted house; it's a joy.

And CREDIT moi for being the day I tick my counter for another month on my journey.

onebyone – Kudos for 4 hours of walking. Yep, that's more than 5 minutes, LOL.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – "least objectionable restaurant" sounds like a wise choice.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Ouch for the reality that busy working isn't the same as exercise. Double Ouch since I'm in that same boat.

pamaga – Yay for "I felt really content." - even though that included some old style eating. Sounds like you're facing an empty fridge - hope there's some canned tuna in the pantry, LOL.

Beverlyjoy - Ouch for the loopy medicine - sleep sounds like a great response.

Tazzy - Yikes for the reminder that it's time to prepare for snowfall. Kudos for getting right back on track after Sunday night.

Val (va1erie) – Yay for a clean garage. We don't have a garage, but if we did it would be full of 'stuff' instead of cars, LOL. Kudos for eating only half that cheeseburger.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Sending supportive thoughts as you work to process all three events happening on the same day. It's such a hurt that improving our own health can be so threatening to someone else, but I've read that that's happened time and again. Kudos for facing it all so you can find your way out.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

experiment 1 Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.
what to do . . .
How will you know whether you are feeling hunger or non-hunger? Notice which sensations you experience in your mouth, throat, and body. Then ask yourself:
. . .

Does my stomach feel reasonably comfortable, but I have a strong urge to eat a particular food or kind of food, which is accompanied by a sense of tension in my mouth, throat, or body? (If so, that's not hunger; it's probably a craving.)

. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 74.

10-11-2011, 08:32 AM
Hello Beck friends!

Yesterday turned out pretty uneventful despite my agitation. Having my Stage 4 Success Sheet printed out gave me a plan of action to achieve an OP day. Despite good intention, I did not get my 10 min (NO CHOICE) exercise in but got some super upper body work as I attempted to install new locks on our doors. Apparently 1 of 4 has a factory defect...PITA since it was the last one and all 4 are supposed to match with one key. *credit* for stopping at 5:44 and preparing a healthy dinner (natural beef patty w/RF swiss, green veggies and salad), plated beautifully and ready by 6pm (our usual dinner time).

BillBlueEyes, *credit* for another notch on your maintenance ticker! I do believe that you have found a strategy for success as you moderate this incredible Beck thread (THANKS BTW!). It doesn't sound like too many $$ went to maryann's DH yesterday, either. I'm sure he would tell you that walnuts in moderation ARE good for you. lol

Tazzy, great NSV with your workout shirt! *credit* for squelching that sabotaging thought, that this time was just like every other time you tried to lose weight BEFORE you found out you are making such fantastic progress!

Pam(atga), I enjoyed reading of your weekend successes. *credit* for all your hard work in taking so many steps to find you have a much saner relationship with food. Not going all out while DH was away is just incredible progress!

onebyone, *credit* for recognizing that the 5 min. every day is important yet being able to get out for 4 hours of walking when the opportunity comes up. Great job, too, planning your food until Friday morning.

Beverlyjoy, "at least five times" resisting licking the spoon! Major *credit*! Keep healing!

gardenerjoy, enjoy your wedding and family time. *credit* for the healthy habit of thinking through the food options ahead of time!

Robin(4EverLearning), first, I believe it was gardenerjoy who facilitated the thought process around your "feeling blue" (credit where credit is due).
I empathize with your situation with BFF. I had a similar situation years ago with a business partner. My success with WL was just not acceptable to her. I lived in that shadow for years-she said I was "so egotistical and vain". It was life changing and painful for me and was a wedge that cost our business relationship. I regretfully sold my share of the business to her and ate over it for years. When a person quits drinking alcohol in excess it's said that old acquaintances slip away as they tend not to accept the changes. A true friend WOULD accept, and apparently you have been blessed to find out up front where you stand with this person. You have found true support with new friends. Take care with your workout. *credit* for such intense planning during this painful and transitional time.

10-11-2011, 03:06 PM

Hi friends.... yesterday was healthy. I am extremely grateful for the willingness to NOT eat crazy in the path of physical pain. This is a major accomplishment for me. I completed many of my goals - planned/measured/logged food, ate seated only, no seconds, always left a bite, NO licks or tastes while cooking or cleaning up food, a little journaling, meditation, lots of water, gentle exercises, & weigh (same). Many credits.
I tried to fill out some forms for DH’s company health insurance and I am still too loopy to do it. I have a week…. I sure I’ll be able to do by Thursday or Friday.

The past week - all be one day, my sodium has been close to 1500mg and no higher than 2000mg. That’s a good credit for me.

I have been something I read somewhere. Before each meal take a deep breath before saying these aloud.

“I am strong & in control”
“I like myself and don’t overeat”
“I eat less and feel great”
It has been quite helpful the past week.

My meditations have been very very helpful.

BTW : - every time I print meditation I usually write mediation and have to go back and fix it. lol

Thanks for your support, wisdom and kindness. Have a good and healthy day. I am reading everyone's posts.

10-11-2011, 03:29 PM
Hi Coaches

I have soup :stir:bubbling on the stove. Just finished it. It's my plan to eat it for the rest of the week. It feels so good to cook from scratch. I have no idea what it will taste like. I think I need to spend some time in the near future making some homemade stock for soups. I cringe adding bouillon cubes--so so salty. I modify that by using only half the amount.

I got out this morning and went for a walk. It only took me 6 months 10 days to walk more than a block or two around here. That's the complete truth coaches. I've been very resistant to walking. Oh well. It was a full 30 minute walk to the local Dollarama for some plastic gloves so I can complete the work on my ceramic sculptures. I have to add wire hangers to the back with Mighty Putty that needs to be kneaded with gloves on and I also have to secure bird legs made of wire to my bird sculptures. I got the beef bouillon cubes there too. I found a few shortcuts on my walk and walked down a couple of streets I've never been on before which I always like. Man, it's still summerlike here...70F right now. We used to call this Indian it still called that or is that politically incorrect/culturally insensitive?

weighed myself this morning (+0.4 = 285.1lbs)
planned and completed my 5min of exercise for the day
planned my food
recorded my food today
cooked from scratch
eating slowly and mindfully-no seconds
reviewed my ARC and ADV cards--will do this again before I eat dinner

10-11-2011, 05:12 PM
Hello everyone! I have spent an hour or so trying to catch up with you all here. But you are very prolific and dedicated to this site (which I obviously need to try to be better at! :^:) and I must admit I have not had a chance to read everything. But I was intrigued (as always) with many of your posts including 5 minutes of exercise and all the other Beck workshop posts, maryann's years of sobriety, and pam(atga)'s willingness to share her life lessons completely. Thank you all for continuing this thread.......and for being so willing to share!

I had disappeared due to some very stressful events in life. I lost a friend to brain cancer at the age of 43 and had to go to Chicago for the funeral. She was also a coworker, and as a management type and full blown mother hen, I spent the better part of a week there trying to help with arrangements and "right the ship" so to speak. I am going to remember her courage and perserverance in the face of struggles much greater than I can imagine. And try to apply those attitudes to taking better care of myself.

Home for the past few days recovering from some minor surgery. Credit for taking some time to review the Beck principles and all of your posts. Tomorrow is my new day. A fresh start. Got the plan written down and will stick to it this time. Back to work, back to reality.

It's good to be back and hear how you all are doing! I've missed your stories and your inspirations!

10-11-2011, 05:38 PM
I read all of your posts about four hours ago but I had to make an appointment and then check on my garden so now I can focus on posting without any interruptions.

onebyone It is good hear you feeling more in control and calmer. I suspect it is because you are being pro-active in the choices you are making towards taking back the control in your health.

beverlyjoy Is this pain stemming from a back injury? I am so sorry that you are having to deal with that. The Latin root "medi" means in the middle which both meditation and mediation are. I am so :p with envy about how you are able to get your sodium so low. I see such a huge difference in losing weight when I control this.

Lexxiss TY for noticing what actually happened this past weekend. I wasn't sure if it was actually coming across. You obviously picked up the subtleties of "it;s not what I was eating, but how I was eating" aura. It was all about "riding a bike without training wheels" moment(s). Food was just food. (granted not the best choices of food but still just food). I was eating mindfully and slowly. I wasn't trying to fill an emptiness. I wasn't overeating because I stopped when I was "normal full". I logged it and by reporting it here, I took ownership of it.

It reminded of what Val said on an earlier post about eating half of a burger and fries rather than a huge amount of chicken and broccoli. I believe that when I am in a good place emotionally, which I am and have been for awhile, food is just food. So, that way I don't have to make so much work out of all of this. Many of these Beck skills are second nature to me now. I actually have to remind myself what to mention I did because it is all so automatic.

So, if I don't, I want you to know that I do eat mindfully, I sit down when I eat, I log and plan my food(see below) every day, I don't turn to food emotionally to "fix anything", I am working on making my non-food part of my life interesting and meaningful to me, and I do believe that I will see a natural thin weight for me in the future. I returned to my "current" food plan yesterday morning and I was able to change my ticker down again today.

Robin I want you to know that my heart just goes out to you right now but, unfortunately, as maryann will attest, those of us who have been working 12 Step programs know all too well that as we get healthier those of us who knew us when we were un-healthy don't know how to interact with us any more. As I have gone through my own personal "recovery" I have had to deal with what you are going through.

More often than not, we are told in the 12 Steps that we may have to "surrender" old friends, old "haunts", old "ways", if we truly want to be free of our addiction, whatever that might be. It is the single most difficult part of becoming sane and healthy. I am sure your friend is thinking that you have "betrayed" the "unspoken agreement" you two had: for her, what bound her to you was the fact that you had this mutual weight issue. Now, that you don't have it, she is left being the one who still hasn't come to terms with her own. Now, the spotlight is focused all on her and it probably makes her feel very uncomfortable.

I am very sorry that she turned her own pain back onto you and did such mean and spiteful things by turning the betrayal she felt from you into a sabotage from her. I hear that you are being quite forgiving of this in spite of how cruel it was. It shows you to be the better person. Obviously, your side of friendship went deeper than skin deep. It doesn't sound like hers did. I don't know if you can reconcile this or not. Sometimes, you can and sometimes you can't.

I made a recent friendship within the past year with another person who shared the same struggles (as we all do here) of losing weight. That friendship has started to cool on that person's end. I believe it is because she wants to lose weight but she doesn't want to "do what it takes". I think something inside of each of us has to click. Sometimes more than once before all of this "sticks".

I think all of us at some point "draw that proverbial line" and then we don't cross it.Dr Beck brings this up in the pink book" Which do I want: to remain fat and all that entails or to lose weight and have all that entails?" It is always about making a choice: one way or the other. It is just sad when people like your dear friend simply don't realize that they too could have what you have if only they would do "the work". It is not some kind of "exclusive club" where it is "members only". It is inclusive but it does involve "doing what you/I need to do" to get where we want to be. The road less traveled.

The Beck skill that I am presently working on is "pre-planning" my meals. One of my problems is that if/when I have everything planned out beforehand I will come to that moment of the actual meal and go "I don't really want to eat that. I would rather eat this instead." So, I end up completely changing my meal plan at the last moment. The only negative outcome from doing this is that I risk going over my recommended calorie range.

How hard and fast is everyone on this? Any suggestions?

Credit: Well, what I am doing in the meantime until I figure out what will work for me is I signed up for a "Food Challenge" over at BLC. It is a short challenge -until the end of this month but already it is reminding to stay focused on some of the "keys" of losing weight. The proof is in the pudding because I have already lost some weight by "applying" these keys in spite of my less than stellar choices I made over the weekend.

P.S. I love being in this group with so many dedicated, serious minded no nonsense "losers". I want to be one of you maintainers some day and I figure if I hang with you, what you have will rub off on me. Yup!


10-11-2011, 08:15 PM
Good Afternoon: Crushingly busy as the first part of my weeks often are. Writing this while son is between homework, music practice and CCD. Trying to sneak in some of my own writing. I wasn't able to catch up with all the reading. Just a browse today. I hear BBE, Pamatga and Robin about the loss of friendship due to lifestyle choice. One of my advantage cards is " I will stop scalp collecting." What I mean by this is I stop trying to do everything for everyone so they will call me friend so I can claim them as a "Scalp" I am a people pleaser because I feel I will disappear if I am not the most popular anywhere, anytime. Ironic that I am really a loner and enjoy mostly being by myself. When I stopped compulsively overeating, drinking, dating etc... I realized I couldn't hang out with people. It wasn't worth the time, energy or it was too dangerous. So I am not the most popular at work, at meetings, at parties. I have a few friends that I have had for a very long time who have weathered the changes. That feels most of the time like enough which is miracle. I give the rest of the other "friends" into God's gentle hands, wish them the best and let it go.
I know this is different than losing a close friend. That is a grief and I have lost a few - including a husband who decided to drink again. (This was years ago) The healing process is slow but that too goes in the hands of a god as I understand him. Almost what I need can not be substituted for what I need. It goes against the definition of need. I can't pretend anymore that it doesn't.
MissyJ: I am so sorry about your loss. Two years ago I lost my best friend in high school to cancer. She was 45 with two children under ten. There is an emptiness there. Too soon, not fair. It is difficult to accept.

Food is a struggle. Wrote doown a plan. Read my cards. Still ate some chocolate. Weight is up a pound. Stopped and started the day again. OP for one hour so far in my new day. Exercise planned for tonite and going to bed with a little emptiness.

10-11-2011, 11:43 PM
My first new low since June 16th! Good to see.

WI: -0.45kgs (new low), Exercise: +40 305/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

4EverLearning: long posts are great! I love reading them and write them when I need to. Had to laugh at the Beck program looking "pretty extreme and excessive from an outsider's point of view." I suppose it does. But it wouldn't be necessary if our current food culture weren't extreme and excessive with pervasive marketing of hyperpalatable foods in enormous servings. Drastic times, drastic measures. For many of us to be normal weight these days, we have to check out of the American food system in significant ways.

missyj: sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope you recover quickly from your surgery.

pamatga: you asked about pre-planning meals. I frequently eat much the same thing every day which requires minimal planning. When things are going well, though, I've noticed, I'm writing even those meals down. I follow an exchange plan so I frequently give myself credit even when I've swapped stuff out. Like today, I'd written down tempeh for lunch then realized I didn't have any. My lunch was what I would have planned if I'd known that, so I'm giving myself lots of credit. It's one reason I use a % of OP. It's 100% OP if I actually ate what I wrote last night or this morning. Only 90% today (but that's still terrific!) because lunch changed from the written plan.

10-12-2011, 06:30 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - On plan again, CREDIT moi, except into walnuts again (Ouch) then ignored walnuts again by recalling that I don't eat randomly, CREDIT moi. A mixed day.

I assigned myself the task of making an emergency run to Home Depot to get a six foot section of molding like the broken piece in my hand. Talk about a challenge - asking for molding "like this" against the several walls of moldings that look alike until examined. But I did find it! Bought a six foot section, raced it home, and the carpenter installed it where the original piece had rotted out on our tiny deck just in time for painters to have it primed and painted before they finished that area. Does it ever feel good when things work out just so. CREDIT moi just for reveling in a small success.

onebyone – Kudos for taking that first walk. Would seem that a Dollarama at 30 minutes away is a prime candidate for frequent trips for this and that. Love the smell of soup bubbling on the stove.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats on the new low. It's fun to watch you asymptotically approach your goal weight. Thanks for explaining how you calculate your % on plan.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Ouch for the fourth lock being the one with the defect - that's a pain to unravel to get it to the place where all four use the same key. It's the frustrations like this that make me revel in our small successes. Yes, Kudos for stopping to prepare dinner anyway. (And in 16 minutes flat - I'm impressed.)

Beverlyjoy – Yep, Major Kudos for staying on plan despite physical pain. I'm with you on the pain of forms. I'm a charter member of the form-phobic club - there is always at least one question for which both YES and NO are valid responses, LOL.

pamaga – Yep, you remind me that I was told that back in high school, "If you hang with the losers, you'll become a loser, too." LOL that I now take that with a positive spin. My own planning is the generic style that Beck suggests at the end of the pink book which works for me since my breakfast and lunch rarely vary and my dinners are planned weekly by my DW.

missyj – Sending supportive thoughts as you face the loss of your friend. With Kudos for such a lovely statement, "A fresh start. Got the plan written down and will stick to it this time." Yay for a written plan.

maryann - So useful to me to read, "I will stop scalp collecting." Such a good reminder that I can't control how others choose to relate to me, that I can anytime face the possibility that they can choose to walk away. I have friends with an adult child who's made that decision; it hurts big, but they can't change it.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 1 Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.
what to do . . .
How will you know whether you are feeling hunger or non-hunger? Notice which sensations you experience in your mouth, throat, and body. Then ask yourself:
. . .

Does my stomach feel reasonably comfortable, but I'm feeling tired, sad, bored, frustrated, anxious, or stressed? (If so, that's not hunger; I'm experiencing fatigue or negative emotion.)

. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 75.

10-12-2011, 11:09 AM
Hi Coaches

I'm on the hunt for every piece of ceramic I made for my next show this weekend; the local studio tour. I'm missing 5 pieces. I have three to repair and my experiments with the Mighty Putty yesterday are 60/40 to the good. The little wire bird legs aren't right yet. They didn't stay stuck to the body like I had hoped. I may need to modify my plans.

Foodwise I am set for the day. It's always much easier when I am home for the day.

*credits for today*
-read arc and adv cards
-weighed in (-2.2 = 282.9lbs )
-planned my food
-checked in with my coaches

*challenges for the day*
-planning to get 5 minutes of deliberate exercise today YES
-eat sitting down, mindfully 99% - DID GOBBLE 2 BITS OF SAUSAGE FROM MY SOUP ON THE STOVE
-will work on eating slower by putting down my spoon, taking a sip of water :nono:
-focusing on drinking my water today as well YES
-will record my food YES
-will not eat after 8pm tonight YES - DH tempted me but I explained my committment and the food item is now planned for tomorrow.

10-12-2011, 11:37 AM
Hi Coaches and Buddies,

This will be a really quick check in. I work in the events industry on the entertainment side and the months of Sep - Dec are absolute chaos at my desk so I'm hoping to pop in every couple of days to report how I'm doing. :comp: And I must admit I might not get to personals but am reading all your posts and cheering for everyone's success!

Good day yesterday, OP with food, left bites, ate slowly, mindfully, got my 60 minute Zumba class in and had no unplanned eating. Weighed, hovering between and .2 and .6 range. Staying on track and not worrying what the scale says, the way clothes are fitting now and my endurance level during Zumba is proving that this is all still working.

:wave: Hi to everyone!

PS - just realized when updating my October challenge that I am almost half way to my goal.

10-12-2011, 12:04 PM
Hi friends.... yesterday was another healthy day - am grateful for that. I have had 8 days of food sanity and have lost 5 pounds since last week/Tuesday.:carrot::carrot: I am particularly proud of not feeling good and staying on my plan. :) Credit.

I've been doing gentle stretches since I pulled the muscle in my middle back (reeeeaccching far behind a big piece of furniture to unplug something) I am feeling improved.

I fulfilled some of my daily goals:
meditations/guided imagery
Say No Choice - many times (however, not all the time - had a piece of DH’s licorice)
Left a bite
No seconds
Sodium good
Lots of water
Gentle stretches
Deep breathing ’montra’ before each meal
Slow/mindful/tasting food - improved

Billbe - a good day except for some walnuts is a credit.. Because you realized you needed that no more walnuts were for eating anymore that day. Glad you got the trim bought and done!!!

Gardener/joy - happy dance for your new low in many months. Major credit. Carry on.

Maryann - interesting term - ‘collecting scalps’. However, I think we all have done it at a point in our lives. That you are aware and dealing with it in a better way for yourself takes a lot of introspection (is that a word). Sorry food is a struggle. Having a plan and some goals can be a path back to food sanity.

Pam - thanks… my back pain is soft tissue - did big overstretch of my arm trying to unplug something. As soon as I was done. I knew I had injured myself… phooey. It is a wonderful accomplishment to be NOT always turning to food to ‘fix’ something. That’s good progress, Pam. You are so, so right… it is always about making choices.- in almost all aspects of our lives… friends, food, family, life…..

Missyj - I am so sorry to hear of your friend’s passing - such sadness, especially at a young age. Hope you mend quickly from your minor surgery. Credit for taking the down time to review the Beck principles!

Onebyone - bubbling soup sounds good… I love this time of the year with it’s pots of soup, etc. It’s nice to be able to figure out how to do old favorites in a more healthful way. Major credit for that walk to the Dollar store!! Your five minutes of exercise reminds us all that we can start anywhere with exercise… just start - no matter how it consists of. Many credits!!

Lexxiss/Debbie - yesss! Stopping at the right time for your healthy, on time dinner is a good credit.

4everlasting - credit for staying right with your plan and even seeing a loss!! I hope your personal training session goes well - I hope it makes you feel good.

t/azzy - happy dance…. For not caring about the daily fluctuations of the daily weigh in!!

Have a great day!!

10-12-2011, 12:05 PM
Report: read my cards, weighed (no change), ate fairly slowly and mindfully and made pretty reasonable choices, especially given how crappy the past two days have been. Boy, have they been crappy. My daughter is just so incredibly stressed and depressed. It's really worrying me. And my dishwasher sprung a leak sometime in the past five days, flooding my basement before I discovered it yesterday when I fortunately went downstairs looking for something I needed to make dinner. The flood is in the hardwood kitchen floor, so for the next week we've got this incredibly noisy apparatus attached to our kitchen floor trying to dry it out before everything warps, and we have a hose snaking out our door, and the cats can't come into the kitchen, and I don't have a dishwasher, and I have dirty dishes that I thought were being washed plus all of last night's dirty dishes that couldn't be washed just stacked everywhere in my kitchen. Didn't make it to my class this morning. I got up, got dressed, and just was so tired from not having slept last night that I ended up crawling back into bed when it was time to go. It was probably the right choice, as I slept for three hours and feel less depressed myself right now than I did at 5:30am.

I just don't have the energy for callouts today, I'm afraid. I'm going to go for a walk to my local produce market and buy the ingredients for a big pot of vegetable soup with noodles. (My normal vegetable noodle soup recipe, triple the veggies, halve the noodles.) I'm going to spend the day washing dishes and chopping veggies so at least I have a clean kitchen with a big pot of soup bubbling, and I'm going to hope my daughter (and as a result, I) feel a little better tomorrow.

10-12-2011, 01:37 PM
Hello Coaches/Diet Buddies!

Yesterday was a good Beck day. I checked off most of the items from my Stage 4 Success Skills Sheet. *credit* I have been sooooooooo busy and have not written down my food, but I have measured and know exactly what I'm eating. I am trying to work on it because I recognize it helps. I'm also finding I don't credit myself enough….so
~ right now for making a good choice while I sit and post (decaf iced coffee, black).
~easy dinner planned
~locating my resistance cards and setting time aside each morning to read them. Like BBE's scale, they seemed to get lost in the "project". BTW-it feels good to be reading them and I DO notice my progress forward.
~bringing mom and I lunch, and resisting the yummy Thai restaurant because we're going out for Dim Sum on Saturday.
~taking time for me (right now!) I've taken my mom to her monthly eye appt which lasts 4 hours. I ended up spending all my personal time this morning helping DH (essentially doing it) order something online. So I told her I needed to get some "business done" and would be back. (Make time for dieting! It's important to check in)
~no choice 10 min. on treadmill before hauling firewood from our yard.
~walked the pup to the library for puzzle making (me time)
~OP, included resisting candy at the bank

I've read posts and I'd love to stay for personal responses but I want to get back to the hospital before mom gets her injections. Perhaps I'll make it back later.

Thanks for being here everyone!

10-12-2011, 02:14 PM
GD everyone :sunny:

After three overcast days, two of which were raining, it is indeed nice to see the sun again.

Val I am so sorry to hear about the dishwasher mishap. I remember when I had 13 little kids coming over for my child's birthday party and the newly installed dishwasher hose was hooked up wrong so the water and suds went all over the newly laid kitchen floor. As they each arrived, I handed them a bath towel and we all sopped up the "mess". I did laundry while they played and then the party continued. Yes, sometimes, sleep is the best medicine!!

You know, I think a lot of people do not realize that you can tweak recipes for the better. I have made many homemade soups from scratch over the past few years and I prefer how I make them because they are made exactly the way we want our soup to taste. Great way of eating less pasta and more veggies. Major Credit on how you handled it all.

Bill I joined a "Food Challenge" in an "old" group I used to belong to while you were away. I am so glad I did but guess what one of the "Keys" of successful weight lose is: 1-2 servings of healthy fats. So, now, I am eating a small portion of nuts every day! If not that, then I am adding 1 TB of olive oil when I cook but I hate doing that because then I count the calories and I don't like wasting my calories like that. However, having said that, in the past, I never thought twice about "wasting my calories" on non-nutritive sweets either. :nono:

gardenerjoy Major Credit on staying on track and being so close to your goal weight. Maintenance must not be very far away, right?

beverlyjoy I have a soft tissue injury from falling and landing on my back last November in the bathtub. It is more of a soft "moan" than a "can't you hear me" ouch but with time, like most things in life, it does get better.

My sister was trying to argue about learning to accept being a plus size as a statement against our culture of desired thinness but I finally said "There comes a time when it isn't about vanity and that is when it endangers your health." She just didn't know what to say. For me, the deciding factor came when I had an eye doctor tell me my blood sugar was causing my vision to fail (not that I needed a stronger prescription). His alarm and genuine concern put me into action. Granted, I floundered for quite awhile but the more I succeed at doing this, the more I want to do it.

I too once had a girlfriend tell me that she liked "hanging" with me because then she wasn't the only fat one in the room. Some people cringe when I tell that story but I am not sharing that to diss her. I understand because I have been going to a Friday night Bible study for three years now and two years ago I was the fattest woman there. Now, there is another single woman who is and I just look at her and feel compassion. I am sure there is a part of her that must feel the way your relation felt.

My happiness at my present weight lose is not all hinging on the physical aspect but the fact that coupled with the strength exercises I have been doing and eating healthy, I feel better. I have had a mild cold instead of pneumonia like I usually end up with. When, I re-injure an old injury, it isn't weeks before I recover but a week. I sleep better now because my pain is white noise and not a traffic jam. I turned to my DH the other night and I said " I can only imagine what I would be feeling like if I hadn't been working on my muscles this past summer" because the truth of the matter my RA takes me down. I get tired easily. I hurt all over and I can barely move for weeks at a stretch. My muscles are stronger now so even though they are being worked overtime right now with the inflammation in my body and I am experiencing more fatigue it is not as debilitating as it could and has been. I am able to make social commitments so far and that tells me to keep pushing through this.

maryann I hear you loud and clear about the scalp thing. I have slowly withdrawn from being a people pleaser and I am a happier person as a result. I can enjoy a lot more alone time than some people but I am okay with that. I have a lot of solitary pursuits that keep me actively engaged in a positive way so I think I have struck a happy medium. I have a lot of hobbies I can spend hours at in blissful contentment. Now, when I am social, I enjoy it so much more because I am there because I want to be there and no other reason.

onebyone sounds like you are uber-busy with yet another tour. What are the dates and place in Florida in February? I would love to come and visit you if I can.

Credit: With flushing all of that added sodium out and getting a resultant weight lose again. I've been busy changing my ticker back and forth but now that I am in this "Food Challenge" and one of the requirements is to drink at least 64 oz H2O every day, I have virtually stopped drinking diet soda (I just can't drink both) and my daily sodium has been around 2000 mg for the past couple of days. It seems this is what I have needed and I should continue it as best as I can after this challenge is over with.

Thanks for the input on what you all consider your "On Plan". My definition of being "on plan" is staying within my recommended calorie range (which I am still hovering at the top of although with less and less struggle), eating whole (organic when I can get it) minimally or no processed foods, "eat the rainbow", lean protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds. I would say that over a span of a month (looking back on my online food log) I am doing this 80% of the time. Of course, the better I stick to this the better I lose weight since it is definitely a lower sodium meal plan than eating out so my nemesis is "eating out" meals.

Credit: sitting with real hunger (I checked against your daily quote today Bill and mine is the real thing) because I had eaten all of my calories for the day but still remained up doing things on my computer late at night. "No Choice". I am fine with that.
Credit: with logging everything I eat every day, reporting it and doing all of that without falling into my old pattern of perfectionism.
Credit: Coming in second on my just-completed Buddy Challenge and I am seriously okay with that. In spite of my former very competitive self, I did a victory lap with the winner and she has agreed to co-host the next Buddy Challenge next week. The winner won by -.6 lbs lose. Now, I understand how those Olympic swimmers or skaters must feel. I still feel like a "winner" because I lost 6.5" overall and a total of 9.4 lb in 8 weeks. (I believe it would have been double that if I hadn't eaten out so much during that time-oh well!):D How can I complain??? Exactly.
Credit for coaxing someone out of his self-pity shell and motivating him to reconsider how chocolate kisses are killing him because of his diabetes. He has been candy free for nearly two weeks! I am very proud for him for accepting my personal "challenge" to cut the ties that bind.
Credit for sharing my "secrets" of weight lose with my one competitor who then embraced them and then I got beaten by them (see Buddy challenge results above) :rofl: Life is full of sweet irony. :D Just love it!!


10-13-2011, 12:02 AM
Two meals of carry outs today -- but both planned and light. Sheesh, though, I don't want that to happen too often.

WI: -0.2kgs (new low), Exercise: +0 345/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

10-13-2011, 05:44 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating was good enough, CREDIT moi, except walnuts again for a larger than planned afternoon snack, Ouch. The good news is that the end of this project is beginning to feel possible; the painters are working the front of the house - the last side. Freshly painted houses just shine. My neighbors are all going to feel pressured to paint theirs, LOL.

Felt the desire to snack after dinner and compromised with an apple. CREDIT moi for recognizing that I was on soft ground and avoiding an unhealthy diversion.

onebyone – Good luck with the Mighty Putty - sounds like good stuff to know about. Kudos for ignoring the after 8pm temptations from your DH - if Adam had used your determination, we'd all be in better shape today, LOL.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Kudos for "both planned and light" - sometimes carry outs happen.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Kudos for "(Make time for dieting!" Yep, it's critical for the care giver to just take some personal time. Even the airlines instruct us to put on our own oxygen masks first then help the person in need of help.

Beverlyjoy – Staying on plan when not feeling good is a challenge; Kudos for winning that one.

pamaga – Yay for the "sweet irony" of life. Kudos for whipping out the No Choice when it was the weapon needed.

Tazzy - Congrats on half way to goal. With Kudos for "all still working."

Val (va1erie) – Kudos for choosing the "big pot of soup bubbling" therapy - just thinking of that smell will help my day. Hope you are able to help your DD through her tough times.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 1 Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.
what to do . . .
How will you know whether you are feeling hunger or non-hunger? Notice which sensations you experience in your mouth, throat, and body. Then ask yourself:
. . .

Is my mouth or throat dry? (If so, that's thirst.)

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 75.

10-13-2011, 07:03 AM
Report: read my cards, weighed (down 1.4), ate slowly and mindfully and made terrific choices. Last night's soup was delicious, filling, and very low calorie. Didn't exercise. Contacted my diet buddy.

Bleah day again. Heard DD crying in bed at 1 am. :( Yay, me, for not letting stress give me an excuse to overeat.

Robin -- I love your flash of insight regarding overgeneralizing from your shaken confidence in your ability to judge a friendship to your confidence in being able to maintain. That makes so much sense to me. I wonder if as you get back to "normal" -- that is, a more normal schedule once this crazy work period is over, a more normal exercise schedule now that you're recovered from your surgery -- plus as the thing with the ex-BFF starts to become the new normal, you'll find yourself feeling more confidence. Right now everything in your life is in an abnormal state! That doesn't make it easy to feel in control.

Pam -- I love tweaking recipes to make them healthier. I find that except for baking recipes, almost everything can be done just fine with half the oil/fat called for, and any soup or stew can easily be made with triple the veggies, half the meat, cheese, pasta. Casseroles can be a little trickier because they are supposed to thicken, which means some sort of roux (which requires a certain amount of butter and flour) and/or cream and/or cheese and/or pasta and/or breadcrumbs, all of which both thicken them and make them higher in calories. Cutting these items too much means your casserole won't hold together. Hmmmm...anyone know of a good low-calorie casserole cookbook?

10-13-2011, 10:03 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday I was 90% OP (switched dinners due to time constraint). I checked most items off my Stage 4 Success Skills substituting my planned outdoor walk for "Costco Walking"-fast and furious while mom waited 45 min for prescrips and flu shot. *credit* for all. I have a "mental plan" for today and will try harder for planned exercise in addition to my painting activities.

BillBlueEyes, neat that you remembered that you don't eat randomly. I like that! Neat, too, that you are visualizing an end in sight with your project.

Beverlyjoy,:carrot: and *credit* for 8 days of food sanity.

onebyone, I'm excited that you found a great spot to walk to….not too far with fun stuff, too. Many credits!

missyj, sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Hope you are feeling better . Glad you decided to make "a fresh start".

Pam(atga), it was great to get so many responses to your question.. I learned, too. I am following one of Dr. Becks Success Strategies for stage 4 which is that it's ok to have a mental plan and make legitimate changes. When I'm stressed, I know from experience it's best to have less flexible plan. I, too, eat mostly the same thing for breakfast and lunch. I'm continually amazed at how you persist with your exercise as you live with your RA. *credit*

maryann, thanks for a very potent post despite a crushingly busy schedule. (especially "need" vs "almost need")

gardenerjoy, congrats on your new low and thanks for the 90% explanation.

Tazzy, great job coming up with a plan for checking in during your busy months. Yay for 450 min of exercise already!

Val(va1erie), take care.. :hug: It's very difficult when we can't change other peoples' pain, especially those we love so much. *credit* for being such a supportive mom and recognizing that your overeating won't make things better, either.

10-13-2011, 01:32 PM
Hi friends... yesterday was a healthy day - I am grateful for that and the willingness to keep trying. I accomplished many goals - I am especially proud of doing my meditation/guided imagery (every day for over a week) Credit.. It's always helpful. Also, I have been very consistent in my logging of food & journaling my goals and thoughts, leaving a bite, watching sodium, slow/mindful/tasting food and more.

Pulled muscle is doing better - I'll be glad when it's all better.

Today I must redo the curriculum guide for one of my programs. I need to rehearse for programs the last week of October. It’s been a while since I did Halloween or ghostie stories.

Valerie - I am sorry your DD was crying - major credit for not eating in the face of her sadness. So so sorry the dishwasher fiasco.

Billbe - oops on the walnuts. Would putting them in the freezer help? Glad your projects are getting done.

Gardener/joy - well done on your healthy take out food!!

Pam - I know what you mean… sometimes, when I doctor lays it on the line about the repercussions of being overweight, it can be the incentive to try harder or try again. Real hunger is a good thing to be able to recognized. So often it’s emotional hunger we feel. Well done.

Lexxiiss/ Debbie - kudo’s for that power walking - doing it and fitting it in. Credit!!

I am reminded of the East Indian Story of The Elephant and the Rope (briefly)

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them to a stake and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Essentially, the elephant is trapped and tied, not in the physical sense of the word, but rather in its own mind, due to bad past experiences. Had the elephant tried to do it again - he would be free. I think, for some folks, weight loss is the same. Many of us feel that we have failed so many times - why should we try so hard again. That we will ultimately have the same result. BUT - we should throw away those past experiences and give our best to our plans. We do not have to be like the elephant in this story who can’t try because he knows he will fail. We must persevere.

10-13-2011, 02:17 PM
Hi Coaches

It's the afternoon now. I have done what I can to/with my major ceramic pieces and they are now curing until tomorrow morning. Not sure what I will do if my Mighty Putty fails me. I'll still have 24 more hours to figure it out.

I tended to other studio tour duties and potters' guild tea room duties. I need to continue to open boxes and look for a few key ceramic pieces that have yet to turn up.

But coaches, I am fighting very strong urges to overeat. They started when I drove back from dropping off a few sample pieces of work for the studio tour stop where I will be. The woman in charge was snippy with me over the phone yesterday, letting me know I "let her down" (HUGE trigger for me as I am a recovering people pleaser) by not bringing stuff to promote the show stop to her. I simply forgot and she didn't remind me--she just stewed. Anyway, all is well and she, of course, was just feeling alone and burdened with trying to get it all done on her own. She just needed to know she's not alone.

We're all the same.
Isn't this the universal human need?

So after I was done I was driving home, slowly, in traffic jam *sigh hate that* and had to drive by the coffee place with the good cheap coffee and the day old HUGE $2 bags of these-things-you-can buy-in-coffee-shops-that-are-round-with-holes-in-their-middles. Just thinking about them made me want them so bad. I had to actively resist stopping and getting them this morning. I didn't stop. I came home and could not decide on breakfast. I've been very light with the breakfast lately, opting for a "brunchy" meal of my big healthy soup instead. I didn't want any soup this morning. I had two small meat pies we got for free at the agricultural fair instead. It should have been enough; it should have satisfied me... but I am in the grip of a food obsession -- a desire for eating A LOT of food. I want quantity. So, from pat experience I know I'll be fighting this all day as I also want to escape preparing for my show this weekend which is just normal for me.

Oh well. I just read my advantages cards. I have 22 to read now, broken into short term and long term gains from losing weight. Beck was smart to have us do this. I sure don't think about things like "losing weight will help me present myself more professionally" when I just WANT a pile of who-cares-what food. The goal is so vague and so far away it's easy to do a :shrug: meh. why bother? Even the "losing the double chin" doesn't matter--and that's pretty tangible. Anyway, this sounds like the cards didn't work but they helped.

I did hop on the wii fit scale *credit and see a drop of 1.8, so this morning I am 281.2. My Official Weigh-in is tomorrow and I am anxious to see what it says then.

I did my 5min of deliberate exercise late last night. *credit* I stomped/walked fast for five minutes while watching the cable tv box's clock and the tv for the duration. I could see me doing the 5min but could not envision doing 5 more so when I up my 5 minute minimum it may just go to 6 minutes. That 10 minute minimum is just that much more that makes me think "can't do it". I need to honour this right now. UPDATE 10pm: just did my 5min. for today the same way. *credit*

Better get back to what I need to do. I have to dig out my printer and scan stuff and send it off to a friend for printing.

Oh I need to give myself a *credit for emptying 6 boxes yesterday and consolidating 2 as well as locating a few key tools and supplies for both my ceramics and my printmaking. Slow progress is being made on the home front.

Bye for now.

UPDATE: I resisted food this afternoon then DH came home and I was feeling extra mopey and then I decided not to have any dinner after having a late large lunch (I finished my soup off around 3:30pm) and after 8, like at 8:30 I felt guilty for not feeding DH and I ended up making a modest meal for the two of us of an egg sandwich. I am upset I did not follow my foodplan 100% re: not eating after 8pm. OTOH, it was a reasonable deviation considering I should have known I would eat dinner...hello?

Anyway. Better days ahead.

10-13-2011, 03:34 PM
Good Morning Coaches,

Caught up on some posts. Good to read about everybody's life. I had a huge meltdown this morning - huge. I realize my fear and anxiety have been building up for a couple of weeks. Only now do I see that is why I have been having difficulty staying OP. The truth is, as I have said here before, I have always had huge mood swings which I know now are in large part chemical. That is the bottom line. I do lots of things to minimize the impact but much of the time I am terrified. DH and DS saw me this morning in a literal ball under the kitchen table sobbing. Not proud to say it. Wish it wasn't so. Nothing to do but go forward. Talked to DS so he wouldn't be so scared. I will teach in the classroom this pm and he will see me "ok" My only hope today is to be a good mother. Rest. stay OP. Scale down a pound. Unbelievable that the weight isn't a necessary byproduct of my mental challenges anymore
Lexxiss: how clever to walk Costco while waiting for prescription. That is true dedication to health.
Onebyone: Good for you for keeping on with your art. I hear you about the urge to overeat. Compulsion is very difficult and Beck does have skills to combat it as you said.
Beverelyjoy: When you responded to my "scalps" post I had a new insight into what I was saying. It is interesting how I phrase it. I think there is a lot of angry in me about relationships and I always seem to turn it in to wards myself.
Pamatga: Congrats on second place. That is terrific and congrats for accepting its terrific-ness.

Shout out to everyone else.
Mary Ann

10-13-2011, 09:37 PM
Hey everyone!

Credit: Sorry I am late but I accepted a "personal challenge" for me that actually ended in a much different way than I thought would. I went to a on-site job recruitment. I have felt a lot of conflicting feelings about "pulling my weight financially". I have always worked since I have known my DH and I just feel like I am being so "self-indulgent" not working (although I am really loving 99% of it). I "confessed" to Paul and he said he would like to see me "at home" if that is my desire, but alas with this economy, well, you know the rest..... it has been a hellish extended financial time but a blessed spiritual time. We talk about that aspect all the time! Anyway, while this group I was part of was sitting there waiting for this company to "show up" this woman across the table began saying things to me that was so affirming, I just had to wonder why a complete stranger would do that. Destiny? I'm not sure but I told my DH later that it was very affirming and sort of caught me off-guard.

Anyway, the job was 12 hour shifts and over an hour's away although the wages and benefits were very good. I walked before my interview came. Why waste my time and his? I have a small problem with making a decision like that without consulting my DH first (because it does impact us both) but I was so proud of the fact that I went when I have been avoiding these kinds of "cattle calls" since I have been unemployed.

Credit:BTW, remember last month when I was trying on all those clothes? Well, the linen sheath dress I wore today fit me fine a month ago. It was hanging off of me today. All over. I had to keep pulling the belt in tighter over and over again. :o It was annoying and I felt a little self-conscious about doing so but WOW!:D

maryann It was not that long ago when I was going through some of those heavy-duty emotions like that. My heart goes out to you. I have been chronically depressed since I was 8 years old. I swear I will struggle with that until the day I die. My body is definitely -minus a lot of the needed "happy chemicals" or something. The ONLY thing (non-chemical) that helps is to exercise hard, fast and furious. Afterwards, I "purr like a kitten". I would exercise that way now but my body says this is far as I go---if you take me further, you will pay, Missie. So, right now, "my spirit is willing but the flesh is weak and, hopefully, being whipped into shape...."

onebyone Stick with this girl, I believe that if you can really exercise your resistance muscle over and over again, you will be rewarded with all of this desire to overeat subsiding. In the pink book, Dr. Beck has a section on working through all that. I think, Bill also had some of the green book's strategies about determining real hunger over false hunger. At least, you have identified that this is more about your will at odds with yourself and not genuine hunger. I think what you are going through is "emotional withdrawal". You want what you used to so easily say "Yes" to. The more you say "No" the easier it will become.

Major Credit on getting that exercising in amidst all of your own plans. Great Job on recognizing that the issue with the other woman was hers and not yours.

Val Part of life is watching those we love "hurt" as a result of the human experience. It is painful to watch and feel helpless to do anything. It is like the Tin Man who always wanted a heart. He said, "Now, I know I have a heart because it is breaking." :hug: goes your way and to your sweet DD.

gardenerjoy Great Job on well made choices in spite of wishing to make more perfect ones. Think of it this way: you made the perfect choice for that moment.

Beverlyjoy and Lexxiss Great Job in "logging" and "jogging", respectively.:carrot:

Bill We might need to do a telethon for endangered nuts one of these days. Squirrel away some for the upcoming winter.;)

Well, I am busy preparing a Buddy Challenge called "Move It N Lose It", which starts this coming Monday. I am working with a group of people, some who, like myself, have some physical issues that require a "work around" when it comes to doing physical activities. It has really gotten my creative juices flowing. We will have two competing teams (after all this is BLC!): Snails vs Turtles.

My first daily challenge will be one which uses the upper body muscles: I am calling it "Put A Sock In It!" Here is what each person will do. You put a pile of clean socks next to you. You put an empty laundry basket between your legs. With your arms behind you at all time, you are going to bend over, pick up one sock in your mouth and drop it in the basket. You will time yourself for 5 minutes. The person who has dropped the most socks "wins" that daily challenge. However, the competition part of this will be only one person's score on the team counts so you have to decide as a team which person you want to choose to represent your team. To make it even tougher, I am going to have everyone do a 20-30 minute upper body workout before they do the daily challenge.

Also, this challenge will increase in its difficulty: putting the basket off to one side so you have to twist your trunk farther, then putting it farther away and you have to run back and forth dropping the socks one by one, and finally I might even have a one-legged hopping challenge. We'll see.

There has already been a little bit of game play going on between myself and the former winner of our last Buddy Challenge. Paul told me a joke which I passed on to the Team Snail Leader, Annie,: "What did the snail say when he was riding on the turtle's back? Wheeeee!":) ;)

I am hoping to make this FUN at the same time of getting some serious working out in.


P.S. Thanks so much for the elephant story. It is definitely worth sharing!

10-14-2011, 01:12 AM
Attempted to solve pre-travel stress with carbs. Wouldn't it be great to live in a universe where that actually worked? It's a good thing that travel for me, these days, usually means eating a bit less than normal. I also anticipate some exercise, including a hike.

The purpose of the weekend travel is a family wedding that everyone seems a bit skeptical about except, apparently, the two people most involved. Oh well. Pretty much the definition of things that I can't do anything about. So, I'll focus on eating well, having fun in any place I can find it, and breathing deeply when it's all over.

This will be my last post for a few days -- I anticipate no access to internet at all until at least Monday, maybe Tuesday. It's been a really long time since that's been the case!

Everyone, thanks for being here and take care of yourselves!

WI: +0.2kgs, Exercise: +20 /1000 minutes for October, Food: 70%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

10-14-2011, 07:29 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Finished another minor project with my house, CREDIT moi. Everything takes longer than I expect. Don't know whether I'm not as efficient as I used to be, or whether I'm just more optimistic than is reasonable. (Thinking about it, I never was as efficient as I used to be, LOL.)

The task was to replace the plastic covers over the electrical receptacles that were removed for painting - clearly a few minutes at most, especially since I'd bought all new ones. I failed to plan for removing paint, removing plaster, removing old dirt, tightening up the receptacles, tightening up the boxes that hold the receptacles, changing the depth of the receptacles in the boxes so that the outlets weren't recessed, and moving whatever furniture or stacks of construction stuff was in front of them. But it's done, and I didn't eat over it, CREDIT moi.

onebyone – Good luck on your studio tour today; visitors are never burdened with all the things that might have been displayed. Kudos for working through the alternatives for your evening meal with your DH.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Just recently met two different couples who've been married 50 years starting with a chorus of non-believers who thought that marriage at 18 was too young - it can be successful. Have a good trip.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Like the thought of "Costco Walking" - especially since you get the rush of ignoring the samples.

Beverlyjoy – Thanks for the elephant story, I need to be told that story about once a year to recall all the tiny bonds in my own life. Yay for the story teller getting ready for her gigs.

pamaga – Yep, Kudos for answering a "cattle call" to learn whether there was a job opportunity for you - ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find your prince. LOL at "Put A Sock In It!" - what a kick!

maryann - Sending supportive thoughts for working your DS through his feelings as he learns that his mother is a person in addition to being a mom.

Val (va1erie) – Yay for good soup. You just made me spend time on Wiki sorting out the different ways of Roux - I'm not a cook, but love reading about what causes food to form. I clearly remember as a kid watching flour and water being added to meat dripping to form gravy; I didn't know that was adding roux. We've never used clarified butter even though it's readily available at Indian food stores. Continuing to send supportive thoughts to your and your DD as she works her way through a tough time.

Readers - chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 1 Prove to yourself that you confuse hunger with other states.
what to do . . .
At this point, it's not really important to differentiate between a desire, craving, tiredness or urge to engage in emotional eating, and thirst. You can just label all four states as "non-hunger." For the rest of your life, whenever you want to eat and it's not mealtime or snack time, label your sensations as "hunger" or "non-hunger." Once you master the skill of overcoming hunger, cravings, and emotional eating, you will be able to say to yourself, This is hunger ... No big deal, I'm scheduled to eat again in a little while, or, This isn't hunger ... I'm definitely not going to eat. In later stages, you will learn what to do to minimize hunger and how to change when or what you eat if you find you are still getting hungry too often.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 75.

10-14-2011, 08:38 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

It was a good Beck day. I checked most of my success skills off my Phase 4 checksheet. 100% OP and exercise done, even though my choice of exercise took a twist. *credit* I had a spontaneous moment this morning. I was heading off to do errands around 8:25am. I have seen these women walking briskly on the upper street several times. They always have to move for a car to pass by. This morning I waved and asked them if they had a walking club. They said yes and I was welcome to join them. They are 4 moms who walk after they drop the kids off. The great news is I can just walk up my back stairs from the lower to the upper street and join in with them. I would have never done this 3 years ago. *credit* for asking. I will try today and report back.

BillBlueEyes, I certainly heard the perfectionist speaking as you described working on your receptacles. I'm trying to understand that working on a 100+ year old house is sometimes about doing the best job possible. Credit for not eating over it AND for checking another part of your project off your list.

Beverlyjoy, so happy for you finding joy in the consistency of your meditation...and in your logging of food, journaling, leaving a bite….and more. Gratitude in the willingness to keep trying is key! Thanks for the elephant story. I have filed it-a keeper for me.

onebyone, I am sorry you felt such strong urges to overeat. Have you written down a list of distraction techniques? I have found they really help AND it's better for me to distract from the urge to overeat rather than to continue with the task that is triggering me. I can always come back to the task later. I also have a card, "I NEED TO MAKE A BETTER CHOICE". Credit for reading your advantages cards and good for you breaking them down into short term and long term goals.

maryann, I'm so sorry for the pain you endured yesterday but much credit for owning it, talking to DS and working on moving through it. Sending supportive thoughts your way. :hug:

Pam(atga), love your new challenge! Yay for clothes which are hanging off of you after it fit a month ago! What a great feeling! credit for your persistence.

10-14-2011, 11:57 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up 1), ate slowly and mindfully and made very good choices except for the wine-induced snackfest (a bowl of cereal w/skim, so actually not too horrible a choice, but I didn't need it and hadn't planned it), didn't exercise, contacted my diet buddy.

Debbie -- good for you for walking Costco instead of just sitting while you waited!

Beverlyjoy -- that elephant story always makes me feel sad for all the elephants in the world.

onebyone -- You wrote So, from past experience I know I'll be fighting this all day Have you done the "Overcome Cravings" and "Tolerate Hunger" tasks yet? (BBE's readers section is just getting into this in the green book.) You DON'T have to fight (hunger, cravings, desire for large quantities of food or a feeling of fullness) all day. Cravings and even hunger pass, and that "fighting all day" feeling ONLY happens if there's some possibility you'll give in. THE SECOND you make an absolute decision not to eat, that "fight" goes away. You do NOT have to fight it all day. You only have to fight it for EXACTLY as long as there's still some chance you'll give in. Once you've made the absolute decision, the tension caused by "I want some of that...but I can't have it...but I really want it...but it's not on my plan...but it looks so good...but I really shouldn't..." is GONE. Your past experience tells you that you'll be fighting it all day because in the past, there was =always= some possibility you'd give in. Your brain knew that, so it kept fighting for whatever it is you wanted. If your brain knows that there is NO WAY you are buying a $2 bag of day-old donuts -- say you'd forgotten your wallet, so you -couldn't- buy them -- it would stop torturing you, the craving would eventually go away, and you probably wouldn't think about it again until the next time you drove past that coffeeshop. Which, btw, maybe you could go a different way next time? :)

Pam -- I like your sock challenge! Fun!

gardenerjoy -- Heaven forbid I should ever live in a universe where food actually COULD solve problems! How would we EVER manage to lose weight? :D

BBE -- how to make a roux is one of the more useful beginner skills a cook can learn. Once you can make a roux, never again will you need to use canned Cream of Mushroom soup to make a casserole. :)

Oh, speaking of casseroles -- here's what I made last night:

Black Bean Casserole (6 servings @ 350 calories)

10-14-2011, 12:37 PM
Valerie: The casserole looks good. I will have to try it.
Pamatga: I was watching the Biggest Loser last week and there was a gal who couldn't walk because of a knee injury. They had two heavy ropes with which she smacked the ground. It was aerobic. Very interesting. She lost like 17 pounds that week. Whoa!
BBE: It is never the chore that kills us. It is the expectation. So much like life, really.
Lexxiss: Major credit for the walking group. Awesome to be so forthright.

So this morning I am more rested. DS and I had our USUAL Friday morning, snuggling on the couch while I read Harry Potter - Goblet of Fire. I realize that as with my eating it is not the SLIP that defines me when I meltdown, it is how I behave during and how I manage it after that really counts. Thanks everybody for your kind thoughts. OP and down .2 which makes me again close to ticker. Exercise planned, food written. My goal is to make it easy on myself.

10-14-2011, 12:54 PM
Hi Everyone,

Another quick check in. My persistance in following the plan one day at a time is paying off in inches and today on the scale. Down 1.6 for a new low of 173.2. I was shocked when I saw the number on the scale. I think the calorie cycling is helping and my body is finally reacting to it. I have one card that is my mini goal (2 pounds) and for weeks it has read 173, I was so happy today to change it to 171. I find when I'm exercising and I don't think I can do another minute I start chanting in my head 173, 173, 173. :carrot:

I plan to come back for personals over the weekend, I've been reading all your posts and your insight has really helped me out. Thanks everyone! :cheer:

10-14-2011, 01:41 PM
:cheers: Tazzy! :woohoo: on the "pounds-be-gone!" :celebrate:

maryann Yes, that is part of my weekly "homework": watching the program each week. This season they have the most pre-injured people they have ever had and they are taking a different approach, which I am really glad to see. In the past, they usually sent them home, but now they are including them into the different workouts or "challenges" and even adapting those as well. Professional athletes get injured all the time. Although some of the tactics their side-line doctors use are a little "scary" (shots of novocaine) so they can continue to "play ball"; it does bring up a point that continuing to "work through" an injury CAREFULLY can actually accelerate healing time if for no other reason the fact that when we are active, our warm blood is flowing through our entire body and heat(self-made or otherwise) is still a wonderful source of healing balm.

What I have found is most non-competitive "weekend athletes" don't realize that if you get injured you just don't plain stop. That is actually the worst thing to do---both physically and psychologically. You keep going, even with modifications. What I also like about the variety of exercises shown, like the pounding of the heavy gym ropes (we used to climb those in PE in grade school, remember?) is that any movement can burn calories. These "thoughts" are what I want to impart to the other people involved in my upcoming challenge. Keep going. Don't stop. And, don't give up! No matter what!

val Yum. Yum. Your casserole looks absolutely delicious!! I am going to make black bean chili tonight and whole wheat (pinto) bean muffins. The later tastes like spicy pumpkin bread.

Lexxiss Isn't that neat that those women came along at just the right time and you also had the "courage" to inquire? Serendipity? I hope you can join them!! Walking goes that much faster when you can share it and chit-chat while you are doing so. "Costco cruising"-better not let them know that all you came for was the big wide aisles and not to buy. :D just kidding. ;) I "hate" those sample booths in stores. I feel that they are distracting when I have "a job to get done", plus there is always the "pressure" of having to purchase whatever it is they are trying to "upsell". If I wanted it in the first place, I would have it in my cart, right?:mad:

Bill Great Job in persisting with a gnarly:devil: problem (the kind that make you want to pull someone's hair out-not necessarily your own) and no eating over it. Major Credit, Kudos and a :woohoo: to boot!!

val wonderful reminder for us all on how to handle "slippery slopes" ('cause we all have them!) onebyone changing your route so you don't have to be reminded of those temptations is a tried and true 12-Step way of handling these situations. I have said over and over again "Out of sight, out of mind." In fact, I can even say 100% that once it is brought into the house, watch out! It will be consumed no matter how noble my intentions are. Val is absolutely "spot on" about not allowing a "back door" entry to your "forbidden fruit". Yes, there are frequent times when I am rummaging through the cupboards wishing I had something wonderfully decadent and probably chocolate besides but when I don't I grab an apple and have that instead. beverlyjoy's "elephant story" says it so simply and yet so wisely. This battle of the bulge is not fought on the scales but between our ears. That is where Beck steps in--to lead you out of that maze.

beverlyjoy once again, thanks for sharing that elephant story. I know you won't mind that I shared it with my other groups. The tale tells it all. Like Dorothy clicking her heels, we have always had the power to return home, we just needed to get our posse behind us, go through a wicked forest, kill a witch and skip down the yellow brick road until we ended up where we always wanted to be in the first place.

Credit: Focus on what is today's "tasks", do them and then be done with it. Life doesn't get any better than that!!

:grouphug: Love ya all Pam

10-14-2011, 07:28 PM
Hi friends... today has been a struggle. I woke up with my mojo in reverse. For me it's about willingness. Not eating takes alot of energy for us all - I couldn't muster up my willingness to journal and plan. I don't do well when I don't do those things. But... I am not throwing in the towel - so to speak. I have drawn my line in the sand.

My mom invited me to a potluck tomorrow for supper at her senior apartment. I would love to go - but - it's wonderful food made like Grandma used to make. They sure can cook and it's not healthy. I'll have to wear blinders and pass the pies.

I hope you are all having a great weekend.

Pam - feel free to share that story. It's a folktale from India. I need to remember it's wisdom now.

10-15-2011, 02:36 AM
I am dismayed to see just how much time has gotten away from me. I didn't realize it had been four full days since I posted, which means I did not honor a commitment that is very important to me. The bottom line is that I have just plain been too exhausted to do anything beyond falling into bed almost the moment I got home for the last few nights. Monday through Thursday I was running from class to meeting to class to appointment for 14 hours straight each day. Then today, instead of having my usual Friday off, I had to go once again to the main campus for an all-day meeting (which I shouldn't have bothered with, since I was too tired to contribute much or to benefit much from it). And I still have the remnants of my cold, along with stabbing pain in my breast that is not only making me uncomfortable but also keeping me from sleeping at night the way I desperately need to. And I probably will not get the rest I need this weekend, either, as midterm grades are due by Tuesday, and I have a stack of papers to grade this weekend.

The crazy schedule of the past week has presented many challenges in terms of eating (like having to eat several meals at meetings where I had no advance idea of what would be served, having very little time to eat some of my meals, etc.), but overall I made excellent choices and did very well. For instance, at today's meeting, there was a tray of lovely brownies and huge chocolate chip cookies sitting in front of me all day long, and I didn't touch them, even though every person sitting around me was nibbling on them all day. YAY me!

my report: I did remember to weigh myself every morning. Can't remember the exact sequence of fluctuations, but this morning I was up .4 compared to Monday. I had two personal training sessions (worked lower body only in an effort to allow my chest to heal). Ate all my meals sitting down, and most of them slowly and mindfully. Read my cards once. Made it a point to park as far away as possible from my destinations in order to get some spontaneous walking in. Tolerated a fair amount of hunger. Did not post or contact my diet buddy.

Lexxiss (Debbie), you are right that it was gardenerjoy who responded to my post about feeling blue, and it is definitely important to give credit where credit is due! I was saddened and also amazed by your story about your former business partner. The fact that you ended up having to sell your share of the business to her speaks volumes about the degree to which the dynamics of your relationship changed due to her discomfort with your weight loss. I suspect that my former BFF would totally agree with your former business partner about weight loss leading to egotism and vanity. But you know what? I don't feel badly about that at all. I think I'm actually entitled to a little vanity after a lifetime of feeling horrible about myself!

missyj, losing such a young friend to brain cancer would be devastating and could definitely send you into a tailspin. I hope you are recovering well from your surgery.

pamatga, I understand completely why the 12-step groups warn of the probable need to surrender old relationships along with surrendering unhealthy habits. I thought all along that my former friend's apparent happiness for me and acceptance of the huge lifestyle changes I was making was too good to be true, and now I know that obviously it WAS too good to be true. But I tried to talk to her about it numerous times, and she kept assuring me that everything was fine--HA!! Obviously she felt deeply betrayed by my apparent repudiation of her eating habits. I don't think that there is any chance of reconciliation there. Even if she reached out to me (which I don't think she will), I would have a lot of trouble forgiving her blatant attempts to turn my other friends against me. I am sorry to hear that you have also experienced the recent cooling of a friendship with someone who has also struggled with weight. I think you are absolutely right in attributing that to her unwillingness to do the hard work that is necessary to "get what we have"--and that is very sad.

You also asked about how rigid others are in following their set food plan. I'm sure you are aware that the reason that Beck makes such a big deal about planning each day's meals in advance is that if you don't have a plan, and thus have to make spontaneous choices, you will often find yourself in circumstances in which no healthy options are available or in which you will not be in the necessary mindset to choose the healthy options even when they are available. For me personally, the planning issue is not that big a deal, because I am a very, very picky eater, and I tend to eat the same few meals over and over. I have a repertoire that consists of only about five options for each meal, and they are nutritionally and calorically pretty much interchangeable. So as long as I stay within that narrow range of options, I am fine.

Maryann, you are indeed blessed to have strong long-term friendships that have withstood the test of time and weathered the storms of all of the changes you have made to make your lifestyle healthier. I love your "scalp-collecting" metaphor! And I'm sorry to hear about your recent "meltdown". Good for you for recognizing that what you do afterward, and what you say to yourself afterward, really matters--not only in terms of damage control, but in terms of reducing the likelihood of future similar incidents.

gardernerjoy, your comment about our current culture being so extreme and excessive with regard to marketing huge portions of hyperpalatable foods, and our need to "check out" of the American food system as a result, really resonated with me. Boy, that is oh-so-true. In fact, I think the final trigger that precipitated the rage of my former BFF was a comment that I had made in one of my Beck posts to Val (from the previous site we posted on) while visiting my BFF this past August. My friend and I had gone to the movies, and she bought a quart-sized Coke and a TREMENDOUS bucket of buttered popcorn that surely contained more calories than I eat in a day. I commented in my post to Val that my friend bought "what looked to me like a garbage pail full of popcorn." My friend read that, and I think it totally sent her over the edge, because she thinks that what she did is perfectly "normal" (I used to think so, too!) and felt very harshly judged by my comment. But I wasn't judging her at all; I was merely judging the food itself and being amazed at how my perceptions of it had changed.

BillBlueEyes, I love the way you revel in those small successes. However, I must say that finding just the right molding, at just the right time, does not sound like a small success to me--it sounds like a masterful stroke of luck combined with serendipitous timing!

Beverlyjoy, WOW on losing 5 pounds in such a short time! And thanks for the story of the elephant and the rope, whose moral we would all do well to heed.

Val, I am so sorry that you had to deal with a leaking dishwasher, flooded basement, and, worst of all, a distressed daughter all at the same time. But YAY YOU for handling it without overeating. Your daughter is blessed to have such an empathetic and compassionate mother in her corner.

OUCH, I see that it is now 1:30AM. I need to get to sleep! I am not going to set my alarm but hope I wake up at a reasonable hour so that I can get started on those midterms! UGH. Hope everyone has a great OP day tomorrow (or later today, actually)!


10-15-2011, 06:08 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Made a quick emergency run to the store for a green bell pepper for dinner and didn't buy any of the grease coated pastries or the Halloween candy stacked everywhere - but bought seedless black grapes on sale instead, CREDIT moi. Regardless of the calorie count, grapes don't mess up my head, but fried pastries and candy both do.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yay for a walking club; Kudos for having brought yourself to be the kind of person who jumps at the chance of joining.

Beverlyjoy – LOL at waking up with ojom. Potluck at a senior's appartment sounds like a challenge.

pamaga – Good to be reminded that after injury we keep going with modification instead of stopping.

maryann - Yep, "how I manage it after that really counts" probably applies to many things in our lives - Thanks for that.

Tazzy - Yay for persistence.

Val (va1erie) – That Black Bean Casserole looks yummy; if you feel like posting the recipe, you could put it in our Beck Forum recipe thread (

Robin (4EverLearning) - Ouch for the busy schedule with Kudos for standing down "lovely brownies and huge chocolate chip cookies sitting in front of me all day long."

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
If a friend or coworker told you, "I was so busy today that I accidently skipped lunch," would you think, Skipped lunch! I can't ever imagine doing that . . . I'd get too hungry!.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 76.

10-15-2011, 08:11 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully for breakfast and lunch, not so much at dinner as we ate at a local Chinese place with friends and kids, but I didn't do too badly. Got planned and spontaneous exercise, though not as much spontaneous as I'd planned. :) But I have the fm today, so I'll get lots there. Contacted my diet buddy.

maryann -- good for you to have a goal of making it easy on yourself! That's a very good goal!

Tazzy -- yay for a new low!

Pam -- stopping exercising because I get injured is a lifelong habit for me! I have terrible knees and until recently (knock on wood) a bad back, and when I've had an injury I've always stopped working out until it was healed, thinking that I'd make things worse if I kept going. But you're right -- a better plan is to modify what I do. I'll have to think about how to do that. My most recent injury was tendonitis in my ankle, which meant no walking, which because of my bad knees has been my most common way to exercise. So when I couldn't walk for exercise while the tendonitis healed, I let myself get into thinking that if even walking was off the table, I was screwed. But I have a couple of DVDs that would have still worked.

Beverlyjoy -- It does take energy, but remember that it only takes it -occasionally- throughout the day, not 24/7. It's not a -constant- battle. Good luck at the potluck. What's your strategy? I have two for this kind of event. One is to eat a large amount of very low calorie food right before I go -- a large bowl of vegetable soup, for instance -- and then allow myself 3 bites of anything I want. (Three bites because research shows that after the third bite, you get diminishing marginal returns in enjoying the food. It never tastes as good again as those first three bites tasted.) The other strategy is to eat a complete meal before I go and not have any of the food there, telling myself that there's nothing there I haven't had before, nothing there I won't have the opportunity to have ever again, and that I'm here for the socializing not the food.

Robin -- Your schedule has really become absurd, hasn't it? I can't imagine. How much longer are you going to have to do this? I know you mentioned it but I can't remember -- is it just for this semester, I hope? Don't let not posting here become another stressor for you! I know you're committed and doing your level best.

BBE -- ooh, there's a recipe thread? Cool, I'll post it there!

10-15-2011, 10:00 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday was an interesting Beck day. I filled out my P4 Success Skills worksheet, which had some blanks. The good news is that I have documentation of where I can give credit and where I can improve.

Despite sabotaging thoughts (I don't feel like it, I'll do it on Monday, I'm tired) I walked up the back steps and joined the walking group. Credit for keeping up with the four women in their mid thirties who have been doing this 5x/week/2.5 miles for 3 months. (I'm 53). They were kind and said not to push myself that they'd slow down if I needed them to.
DH, mom and I had dinner out(buffet). I drank my water on the way and made a mental plan. I did not have any "whites" (rice,pasta,sugar, potatoes), used a T. of cottage cheese for salad dressing, and picked lean protein. Credit. Choosing not to use my Resistance Techniques, I indulged in SF cookies, but stopped AND am going outside right now to walk by myself, remembering I can't indulge like that AND sit on my butt, too. Credit.

BillBlueEyes, 100% correct, that grapes don't mess with your head like fried pastries and candy both do. Credit for passing them both up especially since I'm SURE they were strategically placed so you wouldn't be able to miss them.

Val(va1erie), I look forward to your recipe. It's right down our alley. Nice credits yesterday, even if dinner was "not so much". It's my experience that the healthy habits I practice the rest of the day "do " help me to keep a grip when I end up at the Chinese restaurant (although never with a bunch of kids and friends).

MaryAnn, *credit* for a most deserving goal , "to make it easy on myself". This process is never made easier with self flagellation.

Tazzy, :carrot: Congrats on reaching your mini goal and setting a new one!

Pam(atga), I must look funny to others when I do my spontaneous exercises at the gas pump, but I don't care anymore, because you said it, "any movement can burn calories." Credit for all the assistance you give to others, while keeping focused on your own personal challenges!

Robin(4EverLearning), major credit for making "excellent choices" at the many events last week which required you to show up although exhausted, without any clue as to what food would be available. Sending supportive thoughts your way as you look ahead and forsee another difficult week.

Beverlyjoy, hoping your mojo is heading back in the right direction. Mine was off yesterday, too. Credit for drawing your line in the sand.

10-15-2011, 07:36 PM
Quick hello! I had my strategy for the potluck (thank you for that timely reminder, along with your wonderful words of wisdom.,Valarie.) However, at the last minute my mom wasn't feeling well enough to attend. Today went better than yesterday... it was 'sloppy', though. I did not journal or write anything down. I have my plan planned already for tomorrow. Credit.

Lexxiss/debbie - major kudo's for pushing forward in the face of not wanting to, - and for keeping up with the younger ladies in the walking group!!!! It's a good reminder... staying away from most white foods.

valerie - credit for your many Beck tasks! I am impressed, always, when folks include spontaneous exercise in their day. Terrific.

billbe - good job on passing the candy, etc at the store... I think on sale grapes rather than sweet greasy treats were the good choice!

4everlasting - sorry you've had to do so many things to be busy... along with not feeling well. phooey. I am doing a credit happy dance for your good choices of food at the meetings and NOT eating the brownies or cookies. Awesome.

Thanks everyone, as always, for your support, wisdom and friendship.

10-15-2011, 09:34 PM
It's been about three months since I've actually made a food planning / tracking entry, and I just did one for today. Credit! Although the day is mostly over, I'm faced with the evening, and with a noticeable increase in late-night snacking. So I went ahead with a plan. I *will* stick to it!

All is crazy here, but fairly stable. I have perfected the art of blinder-wearing and compartmentalization, which is probably why I've been doing just the bare minimum for Beck, such as watching portions and exercising. And why I haven't checked in here for a while. Job application deadlines begin this week and will come up every week for the next month. I've almost got my application materials ready, so I'm hoping to return full-force to my dissertation in the next two weeks. At least, that's what my calendar is telling me to do. :p

My weight has been up and down, between 168 and 172, and I think the fluctuation has to do with my recent late-night eating. My DP assures me that I'm losing inches, and that the flab is tightening. It could be that my weight is stalled because I'm building muscle. I do know that I won't really be able to tell what is going on until I get this late-night eating under control, and that I will feel better if it's under control -- so, I'm going to try to add back in the Beck Food Plan to my already insane schedule.

I guess I'm trying to perfect the art of Permeable Blinders. I don't want to block out the positive Beck skills as I block out everything but my DP, my animals, my teaching, my dissertation, and job apps.

Sending much positive energy to you all! Thanks for always being here.

10-15-2011, 11:04 PM
Lexxiss, I must ask--what kind of exercises do you do at the gas pump?? :)

I woke up pretty early this morning despite my exhaustion, and I'm pretty much still exhausted! Weight was up .2 this morning, followed my plan, ate slowly and mindfully, remembered to save a bite of most things for my kitty, got spontaneous exercise but no planned, and posted here.

Val, my schedule isn't as crazy every week as it was last week, fortunately. But it will remain very busy through the rest of this school year due to my being on so many committees that meet at the main campus, 65 miles away, plus having so many evening commitments. But I think the spring semester will be marginally better than this one, and this one is half over already--it's flying by!

MaryContrary, I love the concept of Permeable Blinders! We all need to perfect those!


10-15-2011, 11:20 PM
Robin: I can't imagine managing your schedule after an operation such as you have had. The two major surgeries in my life ( one a c section) threw me off kilter for a month. You are your best resource. You need to preserve yourself for all the good you will do in the coming months (on all those committees.)
Valerie: Congrats on a mindful breakfast. That is what I am working on tom.

I am a little better today. Weight was down to ticker. Pilates class. Harvest festival with son. Three books read with annotations. But I am tired and I am letting myself be tired. I have obviously been under emotional strain or the meltdown wouldn't have occurred. If I am serious about changing my behavior than I must CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR (Duh!)

So proud of everyone working out, making plans, telling the truth. I am going to watch TV. Can you believe it? I never do that.

BBE: Three loads of walnuts in today. The crisis of nut scarcity is adverted.

10-16-2011, 02:01 AM
Sorry I am so late (or since this is Sunday, I might be considered early...who knows). I have been very busy with my upcoming Challenge. I have had several people accept, decline and both accept and then decline. I am afraid they are concerned that since I throw myself into working out that they will be expected to do as well. I am posting each day's exercises in the thread and I have told those that don't want to formally join the challenge they can do what they feel like. I am reminded of "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

Robin Just take care of yourself as your body heals. I hope this is part of the healing process and it won't last much longer. It sounds downright exhausting.

Speaking of your comment about the super-sized movie popcorn and beverage your friend had makes me wonder what do we owe our friends(if anything) when we see them making such choices like that? I have made comments in other groups about how diabetes is such a deadly disease, more so than a lot of people are aware of, and I personally know many diabetics who are on these sites who act like they are totally unaware of the consequences of their actions. Talk about having blinders on.

Well, I don't want to develop an "us vs them" mentality regarding all of this but the truth of the matter is I will more than likely continue to gravitate towards people who are willing to put their health first and foremost. I remember when it was maryann (?) who said some people are in our life for " a season, a reason or a lifetime." Well, I have come to treasure many of the people in this group and the other group I post in as well but the bottom line for me is always the work I do to become as healthy as I can. I consider it not self-serving but self-preserving. How can I have positive impact on someone else if I am not working my plan the way I need to be? I can't. I just can't.

marycontrary Keep working on reducing/removing that late night noshing. You will get it under control. I went through that a couple of months ago and now I can sit with hunger for several hours without eating a snack late at night. It will come. It will.

Major Credit to all of you who faced your particular challenge and came out the "Winner" (or should I say "Loser" since some of you had a resultant weight lose).

Lexxiss Major Credit on jumping right in with the walking. Nothing like carpe diem.

beverlyjoy Great Job in thinking ahead on the potluck even if the plans fell through at the last minute. You still are a victor and earned a victory lap.

Bill Kudos for hitting the sales on the good stuff! I love a good sale on "good stuff". Win-win situation. Speaking of which:

Credit: when I went grocery shopping this afternoon, I passed by a couple of food items that seemed "interesting" so I took a chance and I bought them. Tonight, while we were watching the movies we rented, I had for a "movie snack" (drum roll please because this is a FIRST for me) dry roasted edamame with sea salt, wasabi peas and raw baby carrots. I could easily "sneak" these into a movie theater. Just the right blend of salty and crunch. I think it was a rather "innovative" (for me anyway) way of also getting in some other vegetables.

I just saved an article on making your own yogurt cheese which will be another thing to 'explore". Supposedly, when yielded it is like tofu where it adapts to the flavors you add to it. Possibilities!

I spoke to an old friend who lives back in MN for awhile (we talk about every 6-8 weeks) who said to me "Pam, you sound so happy." I smiled :D because I am. I really am.

Emotional contentment trumps emotional eating every time!!

10-16-2011, 06:33 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Planned my walk (CREDIT moi) to Trader Joe's to reload on walnuts, pecans, and almonds. Accepted a sample of pumpkin ice cream, actually OK by my criteria of rare or unusual. It was awesome, so I bought a quart for the potluck dinner that evening. Everyone thought it awesome.

Actually, it was pumpkin day, LOL. At the supermarket I bought six cans of canned pumpkin that DW uses to make soup on occasional cold evenings. I'm worried about the threat of shortage again this year.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yay for walking with the youngsters. Just love reading "walked up the back steps and joined the walking group" since many of us don't live on the side of a mountain.

Beverlyjoy – Too bad you missed the potluck - hope your mom's feeling better today - I was looking forward to hearing what the seniors presented.

Mary (MaryContrary) – Congrats on losing those inches. "Permeable Blinders" is a wonderful notion - I'll have to add that to "selective hearing" as a survival tactic. Kudos for making that food plan.

pamaga – Neat set of new snacks. Baby carrots are my favorite highway driving snack. Yay for being so happy that it shows.

maryann - Three books in one day is some serious reading (presumable War and Peace wasn't one of them). Thanks for "If I am serious about changing my behavior than I must CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR (Duh!)" - sometimes I need to be whacked on the head, myself. [Hats off to your DH for saving the walnuts; I am relieved.]

Val (va1erie) – Not doing badly at a Chinese place is OK in my book. The American version of Chinese food is so loaded with oils. [Thanks for posting the black bean casserole recipe - looks even better with the ingredients - especially cumin, my favorite spice.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Ouch for continued exhaustion, but Kudos for "followed my plan" anyway.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
Many dieters think the same thing. What they don't realize, however, is that hunger isn't a big deal. It just feels like a big deal if you're afraid of it. Many dieters think that they should never be hungry and that feeling hungry is somehow bad or wrong. You may even wonder, Shouldn't I eat when I'm hungry? Actually, the answer is, "You should eat only if it's time to eat." It's important for dieters to know that hunger is normal and most people without weight problems get hungry every day, often a little while before meals. If you ask them what they do about it, they usually get a funny look on their faces and say, "What do you mean? I wait for dinner." They know that hunger is not to be feared or avoided and that food actually tastes better when they’re hungry.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 76.

10-16-2011, 09:35 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (down 1.8), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite. Ended up skipping breakfast because my crepes guy didn't show at the fm, and there's nothing else at market I'd want to eat for breakfast. Everything's sweet, and besides never having been a big sweets-for-breakfast person, I also know that if I do eat sugar and carbs for breakfast I'll be hungry all day. Got lots of exercise at the fm, but forgot my pedometer. Contacted my diet buddy.

Made a really promising veggie lasagna last night for dinner, though I need to tweak it a bit so I'll make it again before I share.

Debbie -- Credit you for getting through a buffet on plan! I posted the recipe over on the recipe thread.

Beverlyjoy -- Credit for having your plan ready for the next day!

MaryContrary -- Good for you for realizing that inches matter MORE than pounds! If you're losing inches but staying the same weight, it absolutely means you're gaining muscle and losing fat. Which is the ultimate goal for everyone. LOL at the are of Permeable Blinders! :)

Robin -- Yay on the semester being half over! And you'll no doubt get a nice break over the holidays? Bummer on being up early despite being exhausted. :( I hate that. I took a short nap yesterday afternoon, as as always it resulted in not falling asleep until 3, and here I am up at 7:30 anyway.

maryann -- Changing behavior sounds like it ought to be simple, doesn't it? :::sigh:::

Pam -- I don't think we can really ever say anything to anyone about their food choices unless they've asked for our advice. :( All we can do is be a good example. Which reminds me of the quote: If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.

BBE -- I love cumin, too! That's actually one of the things I added to this recipe, which if you can believe it contained no instructions for seasoning in its original form. Sounded incredibly bland with only a bit of salsa to add flavor to tortillas, beans, and chicken.

10-16-2011, 10:05 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

It was a good Beck day! I marched up the back stairs at 7am w/pup and my kitchen timer which has a string to wear around my neck. I set it for 15 min. and when it went off I turned around and came home. Simple. I will go again this morning. (Now DH wants to go, too!)
I had a major success after my walk. I was trying to incorporate new nuts with old nuts in the freezer. I counted out 10 (acceptable to eat), had one, put 9 back and made a "light" green smoothie. The thought that I could skip my morning smoothie to "save" calories for lunch, yet think that I could eat 10 nuts made no sense. I chose to get my morning green nutrition instead. *credit* As I returned the nuts I actually stopped for a moment in awe that I had made a better choice in favor of nutrition.
Food was OP with my alternate diet (sane eating) as I enjoyed dim sum in moderation. *credit*I did check off most of my P4 Success Skills checklist.*credit*

I'll be back for shoutouts-I would like to get my walk in BEFORE the rest of the town wakes up.

Our walk was brisk and beautiful. We saw a gorgeous red fox that my Cocker Spaniel missed. ;)
I got in touch with my OCD self as I tried to clean house today. I had to stop, refocus and come up with a new plan as I wasn't getting anything accomplished. I acknowledge that for me, going in circles and not making progress is an accepted trigger for eating. After putting on my favorite music I was able to accomplish lots, get some spontaneous exercise and end with a healthy lunch at the table with my DH. I do hear a Sunday nap calling but wanted to touch base here.

BillBlueEyes, yep, pumpkin ice cream would be on my list for a sample. My freezer is stocked with pumpkin from my own patch if you ever run

Beverlyjoy, *credit* for having a plan, especially after a 'sloppy' day. I can relate. Are they rescheduling the potluck?

MaryContrary, *credit* for revisiting your food planning/tracking. Great job sticking to your plan when evening snacking reared it's head.

Robin(4EverLearning), at the gas pump...I do those alternating "butt kicks" that come out of years of aerobics and also practice balancing on one foot, then the other, then back….that's one that is never noticed even in the grocery line and it's very beneficial. *credit* for remembering your bite for the kitty AND for posting even though you're still exhausted

MaryAnn, thanks, again, for the very powerful statement (I've written it down). "If I am serious about changing my behavior than I must CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR (Duh!)" *credit* for taking care of yourself this weekend as well as being a mom and wife.

Pam(atga), in my opinion, as long as you receive benefit from the Challenge which you so lovingly create-it's all that matters.Period. *credit* going to such great lengths to make it both beneficial and fun. *credit* for your new movie snack. It sounds great! (crunch crunch) :) I am glad you are happy and smiled as I read your post today.

Val(va1erie), great job skipping breakfast when your planned food wasn't there and you did not have an acceptable substitute. If I had a sugar hit for breakfast I'd be in for a miserable day, either hungry or eating stuff not on my plan. Thx for the recipe!

10-16-2011, 06:21 PM
Hello Everyone!

I've had a few good days OP. Ended up going to the office on Sat morning to try and catch up on some work. Took my breakfast and snack with me and grabbed a WW smart one meal at Safeway so lunch was covered as well. When I got home I had a dispute with the others in my family and choose to work out my anger at the time on my bicycle instead of in the pantry. Credit for the response, not really proud of what caused the whole situation.

Have been weighing daily and am down another 1.2. Won't update my ticker until the end of this week on my WI day. Did get to Zumba class this morning so can update that tracker time. We planned to go out for lunch today to a Dutch pancake house (crepes etc) and I was prepared for that. Not prepared for a 50 minute wait at the restaurant so back in the car for another destination. We ended up at a BBQ place and decided to order a platter from their menu that included brisket, pulled pork, ribs, chicken, beans, fries, cornbread, coleslaw and more that I cannot remember right now. My strategy then became have just a taste of each thing. And I don't remember having more than 3 bites of any one thing besides the coleslaw (and that was the vegetable portion of the meal!). I left feeling comfortable and we have enough left for my husband to take for lunch tomorrow.

Busy week ahead with plans for Mon, Tues & Thurs night so I need to prepare some things for dinners before so we're not grabbing whatever is within reach. Was not planning on going back out today but looks like a quick trip to the grocery store today will make my life easier.

Lexxiss Love your idea with the kitchen timer to get your 30 minutes of exercise in.

va1erie Have to check out your recipe. Not sure I could get my family to try that or not.

BBE Pumpkin ice cream does sound interesting. I'm not a pumpkin pie fan and maybe that's more of a texture thing. I do like pumpkin in other recipes. I just found out yesterday that I can freeze canned pumpkin as I had opened a big can and then did not have plans for the rest. I froze it in 5 oz bags so it will be easy to add to smoothies. I'll probably have the frozen pumpkin instead of the frozen banana!

pamatga You are doing a great job on your challenges for the other group. I think as long as you are happy with the challenge others will decide to follow suit or not. You are setting a really good example for everyone. I also agree on the situation with trying to educate people on eating habits, I guess it's all in the context we use. And as stated maybe we can be a good example of choices made.

maryann Credit for realizing you need a break and are entitled to take one. Zoning out in front of the TV is good for that.

Okay I better get that grocery list and head over to the store. Then maybe I'll sit in front of the TV for awhile! Happy Sunday.

PS - had typed out my whole post and got a feeling I should copy it, good thing as the site had kicked me out! You should always listen to your gut instincts!

10-16-2011, 07:45 PM
Sorry I am late again but I had to do some preliminary work and instructions for the other team leader of the buddy Challenge I am hosting starting tomorrow. I am psyched!!

Paul and I spend Sunday afternoons doing our weekly Bible reading. I am also so thrilled that on December 31st we will have read the entire Bible from the first page to the last. It has been a personal goal of mine for over 25 years and I have tried and stopped multiple times until I picked up this Bible 4 years ago. It has the entire Bible broken up into 3 different ways you can study it. I started it on my own and, unfortunately, I quit. However, as a New Year's resolution of 2009, I asked Paul if he would be my partner and he said Yes. I chose the two-year study plan because I thought that was doable and it has been. We read the Old Testament and the Proverbs Year 1(2010) and Year 2 (2011) we read the New Testament and the Psalms. We do 7 days in about 90 minutes. We discuss as we feel we need to and finish it by usually praying a Rosary for all the sick people we know and/or are in our weekly church bulletin. I began doing the "sick list" 4 years ago when my mom was first diagnosed with cancer and I just never stopped. Next year, I am getting even more ambitious. I want to read all of the Bible (OT/NT & PR/PS) next year (2012). It has been an exciting spiritual journey and I look forward to these Sunday afternoons.

Tazzy So are you in the part of Canada that has cattle ranchers and cowboys? Is that why you were able to find a barbeque meal like you described? BTW, what is considered Canadian "cuisine"? Are you more influenced by the English ancestry, the French ancestry or, god forbid, (some of) our awful American fare?

Yes, I am very pleased with the initial response. I am also going to post the exercises on the general thread for the non-participants as well although the challenge (like the sock one) I won't post until after we have done it because we are going to do some "game play" regarding that and I don't want the other team to know what is up our sleeve during the challenge.

My whole purpose of this challenge to get the message across that even those of us with some limited physical capabilities can find something we can do that will work up a sweat, build some muscle and lose weight. It does get back to echoing what that "Elephant and the Rope" story says: our biggest obstacle is what is between our two ears. It always has been and it probably always will be.

Val I did share with the rest of the "Food Challenge" group what foods they can find fiber in (since someone had asked what they were and was struggling doing so) but also I posted what I had eaten the day before to show how you can (quite easily I might add) get 25+ grams of fiber in a day. I was thanked by one person who was struggling with how to do that. She said it helped her to see my daily food plan and how I worked that in. Job done.

This "Food Challenge" (as many of the challenges over on the BLC site) are just that: in your face, let's cut the crap and just do it!--much like the show. The people who do the best "over there" are ones who are competitive, just need a spark to ignite them and are "sleeping giant" athletes. Many of the former contestants on "Biggest Loser", the program, are now personal trainers, own their own fitness centers or are motivational speakers. All they needed was a "match to be lit".

I knew I needed some additional accountability regarding my food plan since I was losing during the last Buddy Challenge but I was putting all of the emphasis on working out and much less on a balanced meal plan. All I had to do was look at my daily food log to see that. I knew what I needed help with and I went to where I could get it.

Bill I used to make homemade pumpkin ice cream. The piece de resistance was the topping. Maple syrup, a little vanilla and some toasted pecans hot sauce made right before and drizzled over the pumpkin ice cream which I served in phyllo shells. It was a big hit!

Speaking of pumpkin, someone on here(Taz, was that you dear?) made a smoothie with pure pumpkin puree so I bought some yesterday and I have the "nanas" so I am going to save some of that pumpkin (after I make pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting for Bible study next Friday) for a pumpkin/nana smoothie. Yum! Yum! Do I have this recipe right or am I mixed up again??

Val thanks for the recipe. I know I'll eat it. It looked good enough to eat from the pictures so I know it has to be good. I bought some extra dry beans yesterday when I was out.

maryann you have the right attitude so nothing is going to stop you now!:carrot:

Like just about everyone who chimed in here about "sweet treats" for breakfast, I say "NO WAY!" Never have, never will be and I just plain shun them. I convinced my sweetheart, Mr. Paul, to foregoe his iced cinnamon roll and coffee 13 years ago to get on the morning egg wagon and he has been ever since. He has thanked me many times too. It just plain "lasts longer".

beverlyjoy love those butt kicks. I can't do them because of shortened hamstrings from years of bad knees but Paul kicks his own butt all the time. I am :p with envy. It gives you such a nice behind too.:D Paul says that he doesn't have buns, he has biscuits. :o With the price of gas these past few months, people are looking more at the pump and then anywhere else, right?;)

Lexxiss Great Job with the commitment to walking. I love that idea of the timer and I am going to borrow it for Paul when he goes on his walk. I always tell him to time himself so he doesn't "over train" and then he will return and tell me he walked 8 miles when his coach specifically tells him he needs to build and start small, like 3 miles. I'm getting him a clock like Flavo Flav to wear around his neck. Maybe, that will remind him!:D

Robin Hope you have turned a corner on your exhaustion. Keep your B vitamins up during this time since they are the first to go under times of excessive stress. What I do is: take Emergen-C. It is a powder and can be added to plain water or juice. Don't add to any milk though (it won't mix). It has a concentrated level of vitamin C (fights infection) and B vitamins. I got Paul onto it and he now takes it every morning.

See everyone tomorrow. Hope your weekend went well.


10-16-2011, 08:00 PM
I figured if I was going to procrastinate on grading papers -- you know, by searching the job listings, working on my materials, etc. etc. -- I might as well spend some time with my Beck skills. So I'm checking in here.

The FP helped with the snacking last night, although it was very hard to resist when my DP was snacking right next to me! I stuck to the late-night snack I had planned and kept thinking "resistance muscle! resistance muscle!" I tried not to be grumpy with my DP. I mostly succeeded.

I'm going to make another plan right now, and then give up on school work for the day. I'm going to head home and cook for the week, and get ready to hit the ground running tomorrow!

Weekly credits:

* exercised 5 times
* started checking in here again
* started my Food Planning/Tracking again
* prioritized my health and stress-level (over school and teaching)
* prioritized my dissertation and job search (over teaching)

:grouphug: As always, thanks.

10-17-2011, 06:50 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Had to walk (CREDIT moi) back to Trader Joe's because I forgot raisins which I love buying from them not only because their California Golden's are super good, but because they ALWAYS come in one pound packages. I'm not a fan of the constantly reducing package sizing - presumably to keep me from noticing price increases.

But my tale is that I diverted off plan. They were offering a chocolate covered potato chip!!! Now, this definitely meets my rare and unusual criteria for a taste of something off plan, but it fails all my criteria for a rational snack. Nevertheless, I had one anyway. Ouch - what a waste. It was standard milk chocolate on a greasy, salty potato chip. Punishment enough that I ate it. When I walked back to toss my serving cup in the trash the guy offered me a second one - with a smirk. By now I was rational enough to refuse, belated CREDIT moi. There's a lesson in here for me but I'm currently too annoyed with myself to see it.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Honking Kudos for several sane food choices in one day. I needed you on my Trader Joe's trip. [Noting where there's a stash of pumpkin in case it's a harsh winter.]

Mary (MaryContrary) – Yay for food plans; Double Yay for food plans that work. Good luck handling your long list of high priority responsibilities to be juggled.

pamaga – Congrats for sticking with your two year Bible reading challenge. I'm a big fan of meeting challenges - it makes me feel great. [Thank goodness I wasn't on your guest list with that pumpkin ice cream dessert - it sounds super yummy and super caloric both.]

Tazzy - Kudos for resolving anger with a bicycle work out instead of a pig out. Neat trick to limit yourself to max of three bites of anything.

Val (va1erie) – Neat that you're so aware that sweets for breakfast wears off before lunch. [I hate, hate, hate recipes that state "season to taste." If I could do that, I'd write recipe books instead of reading them, LOL.]

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
Most diet programs encourage you to avoid hunger. Some tell you to eat when you feel hungry and to stop eating when you feel full. The problem with that is you are likely to confuse hunger and non-hunger, at least sometimes. Also, since it can take up to 20 minutes for a sense of fullness to kick in, you are likely to overeat at meals because your stomach hasn't had a chance to catch up.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 76.

10-17-2011, 09:51 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite, didn't get any exercise. Contacted my diet buddy.

Debbie -- good for you for realizing that "saving" your breakfast calories for lunch is counterproductive to losing weight! We had a red fox hunting around here for a while, but I haven't seen it in a couple of months. I hope it's okay.

Tazzy -- hooray for working out your anger on the bicycle instead of in the pantry! Love that phrase! :) Re: the black bean casserole -- it's got chicken, too, plus tortillas and cheese and lots of bell peppers. I would definitely consider it "Not Diet Food" with regard to the rest of the family. No one else would have to know it's only got 350 calories in a serving size that ought to satisfy anyone but a teenage boy! :)

Pam -- I actually used canned black beans in the recipe, but starting wtih dry beans is always best!

MaryContrary -- good for you for planning ahead! That's half the battle for me!

BBE -- I can think of some lessons you took away from your chocolate-covered potato chip decision! :) That dipping something in chocolate doesn't necessarily make it better. (Which can be generalized to battering and frying it -- I do not understand the fried twinkies thing at all.) That something that perhaps MIGHT have seemed delicious to you seven years ago now tastes mediocre at best and actually kind of disgusting at worst. That just because something meets the rare and unusual criteria (a criteria I also use for off plan eating) doesn't necessarily mean it's worth the calories.

LOL on not liking recipes to tell you to season to taste, because I write recipe instructions with those words all the time. Maybe I should instead use something like, "I added (x amount) of salt and (y amount) of ground pepper to this recipe to correct the seasonings before serving, but taste first to see if it already tastes right to you, then add half that amount first and taste again before adding the second half." Would that be an instruction that would be helpful, or is that still too nebulous? The problem for me is that I like things saltier than a lot of people do, so I don't like to use exact salt measurements, have people follow them without tasting first, and have them end up with a dish that is too salty for their tastes. You can't correct for too much salt.

10-17-2011, 12:37 PM
Checking in HI friends... I was missing here yesterday. I had the stomach flu all day yesterday and feel wrung out. Today it's been some saltines and banana. My 'crazy mind' was thinking, "At least I am not eating." Kinda nuts.

I will come back a little later.

10-17-2011, 02:17 PM
Val and Bill: Val I am agree with you about seasoning to taste. I recently made the "famous" black bean brownies and as soon as I had the first bite I knew what I would change. I agree that all of us have both taste and texture preferences that don't always gell with the rest of the populace. So, what I do is make a recipe as it is for the first time. Then, after I have eaten it, sometimes even the first serving, I return to the saved recipe and pencil in what I would change the next time that I make it.

I don't know if you have ever seen this program (it airs here on PBS-affiliated stations on late Saturday mornings or early Saturday afternoons) but I just love it. It is called "America's Test Kitchens....". What they do is take a "popular" recipe and then they decide to tweak it to re-make it so that certain flaws are corrected. One aspect of the program that I have really liked about it is that they also sometimes explain the actual chemistry behind the elements of cooking; why you need to use certain ingredients and what their properties are and how they influence the final outcome of the dish; much like the roux mentioned the other day. How that has helped me as a cook is I now feel more confident about omitting certain ingredients (say extra baking powder or soda, flour) if I want to achieve the same end result but without added sodium or if I want to do it in a more "healthified" way.

For example, the black bean brownies I mentioned above: I rewrote the recipe to how I like a brownie to taste and how I want the "mouth texture" to be like. The recipe I made used dark chocolate and natural coffee. It gave the brownies a stronger taste, which I so happen liked but the texture was "flimsy". In spite of the "forewarning" to put it in the refrigerator to firm up overnight, it didn't. I figured there were two different ways to go about "firming it up"; reducing the amount of butter to chocolate ratio (that should have been a tip off since it was too runny I felt) and/or adding some whole wheat flour. Now, this was a vegan recipe so it had no flour but since I am not a practicing vegan, I will try doing both above and see how it turns out.

I plan on making your black bean casserole. It looked heavenly. :cloud9:
[you can tell I like to talk about cooking :D]

Bill greasy chocolate covered potato chips sounds awful. I love both but not double-dipped grease. Blech! It is not like "you dipped your chocolate in my peanut butter/you dipped your peanut butter in my chocolate" paradigm commercial a few years back! The only way that I could see that working is if you used dark chocolate and baked chips and dipped half of the chip in that soon-to-be hardened chocolate (y'know like strawberries or a Milano cookie). Getting back to the "Test Kitchen...." show, if they ever do this (and they might) I am sure they would seek out a baked chip with dark chocolate. Now, that might work. The concept is interesting but just needed some tweaking. I might try that at home and I'll get back to you on how I would "approach" this.

Well, I spent time into the wee hours of the morning last night (went to sleep around 4:30 a.m.) doing last minute prep work for this Challenge. The response so far has been quite low, I think, although I am trying to not allow that to divert my attention on my primary and original goal: to show people who have some inabilities to do some working out, how they can improve their strength and musculature.

I have devised a strength building workout routines of 20 exercises that can be done either laying in bed or sitting in a chair. One person is an amputee with an (previously injured-survivor of 9/11) bad back. I have convinced him he can get back in shape and I have spent a lot of time working on this exercise program so that is something he can do. He trusted me enough to not let him down and I don't plan on it.

I guess, whenever I feel hyper-enthused about something, I expect everyone will be on board along with me. I realize that is foolishness but it is who I am. I have reminded myself that even though I have 6 people interested in doing this (which is about 1/3 of the people from the last challenge) I am going to make sure they walk away from this Challenge glad they did it. So, having said that, I need to go "practice what I preach" and get that work out done myself.

Taz, mary and Debbie WTG with "knocking the ball out into the outfield" with planned actions that do work. Triple-hitter!!:D


10-17-2011, 06:45 PM
I have been so horrid about keeping up with posting. I just wanted to say hello and that I am thinking about you all and your successes. xoxo

Oh, I lost 2 pounds this past week. I had gone a couple of days without weighing, and then magically 2 pounds were gone.

10-17-2011, 10:08 PM
Written Food Plan - a few additional sweets foraged at school. Oh Well. Weekend wasn't as quiet as hoped. Weight up a pound and a half. DH is gone, gone with harvest and business. I am doing the minimum and resting where I can so I don't get overwhelmed because I still don't feel up to snuff.
Favorite quote from an Eighth grader today "I'm glad you're here. You are the only teacher that likes me."
Lexxiss: You crack me up. A kitchen timer on a string. That is good old fashioned gumption.
Shout out to Beloved K, Mary Contrary,
Beverleyjoy: feel better
]Tazzy:Congrats for planning the day. It works so well for me.
Pamtaga, BBE, Val: Intersting discussion on taste. For years, I considered myself a garbage eater. I would eat anything if it was there and in abundance. The garbage part comes from having thrown food away and picked it out of the garbage. I have slowly been developing taste. Choosing what I will eat rather than compulsively eating it. I have simultaneously been developing cooking skills. What a joy. I thought if I really cooked, I would gain even more weight. Nope. Just gained an appreciation of food. What a wonderful new world. PS I am a salt monster but have extremely low blood pressure so I often indulge myself.

10-18-2011, 12:46 AM
The weekend trip went pretty well food-wise until late yesterday. This was the first trip since I started losing weight where we had a full kitchen. We used to travel that way all the time, but hadn't recently. Having a kitchen and my own food should have made the eating easier but I had not prepared for a sabotaging thought that occurs late on such trips "It's easier to eat it then pack it!" Unfortunately, that also blossomed into a fair amount of "I don't care" which I've never had a particularly good response to and "Well, I've blown it, I might as well just give it up for today and start anew tomorrow" which I have excellent and effective responses to but I wasn't willing to use them today.

So, credit for reporting here, for getting a decent amount of exercise including a 90 minute hike, for being willing to put this train back on its track starting now.

WI: NAkgs, Exercise: +20 525/1000 minutes for October, Food: 50%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: no

pamatga: I'm a big fan of yogurt cheese. I use it instead of sour cream. I lighten up peanut butter and mayo with it (I made the change gradually, but now my "peanut butter" is really 2/3 yogurt cheese and 1/3 peanut butter and the same for "mayo"). I use it instead of milk with my cereal because the cereal stays crunchy.

10-18-2011, 12:47 AM
MaryContrary, I grinned when I saw your post saying you were posting to procrastinate on grading papers, because I am now doing exactly the same thing!! I am not letting myself go to bed until I get two more term papers graded, but I desperately need a break. (Many of the students write a formal paper exactly the way they would write a text message, with minimal punctuation, capitalization, or grammar, and it is driving me crazy to try to decipher and correct!) So this is my break--AND I get to take credit for honoring my commitment to post daily, too! :D

My report: My weight was up .8 yesterday and down 1 today. Ate slowly and mindfully, sitting down, both days. Remembered to save a bite of just about everything for my kitty. Read my cards yesterday but not today. Got spontaneous exercise both days. Spent 30 minutes on my treadmill this evening (another break from grading :)), alternating 1 minute of jogging with 2 minutes of brisk walking, all at 4 mph (and burned 220 calories--WOO HOO!). Tolerated a fair amount of hunger. Actually I am quite hungry right now, but I responded by brushing my teeth, which acts as a good signal that the kitchen is closed until breakfast!

Maryann, you are certainly right that I need to make preserving myself and my energy a higher priority, although I'm not sure about the "good work" I will accomplish on all of those committees! I wish sometimes that I didn't do such good work, because the reward for it is to be put on yet MORE committees. In fact, I just got appointed to another major committee (the group that sets all of the policies relating to undergraduate education, for the entire university), an honor to be sure, but one that is making me want to scream ENOUGH ALREADY. This committee meets at the main campus on the ONE Monday each month on which I had no meetings--which means that, for the rest of this academic year, EVERY single Monday will be a 15-hour marathon day for me, with back-to-back commitments that require me to eat at least one meal in the car. Oh, well, I guess that's why they pay me the big bucks. :p

Pamatga, I think the question you raised--what do we owe our friends when we see them making unhealthy choices?--is a really good one. In the case of my former BFF, I can guarantee that her answer would be that I owe her not to do or say ANYTHING! And I never did. But sometimes it does seem like speaking out would be the true act of friendship--kinda like, friends don't let friends drive drunk, or, in this case, friends don't let friends eat themselves into an early grave. But that particular act of "friendship" is often unwanted and unappreciated! And thanks for the advice re: vitamins.

Val, CREDIT for not eating a high carb breakfast when your usual meal was unavailable. I know what you mean; I'm hungrier soon after eating lots of carbs at breakfast time than I would be if I just ate nothing at all. And, yes, I do get a three-week break at Christmas, and I am eagerly looking forward to the time off. But I am dreading Christmas itself. For the last 5 years (ever since my mother died), I have spent Christmas at my former BFF's house--I mean, she even had a Christmas stocking with my name on it, and treated me as a member of her family--so I will be at loose ends and will definitely be grieving the loss.

Lexxiss (Debbie), I LOVE your exercise-at-the-gas-pump-and-in-the-grocery-line tricks!! May I steal them?

Tazzy, whatever may have caused that dispute in the first place, you deserve MAJOR credit for working out your anger in exercise instead of eating! That's HUGE!

OK, I need to grade those two last papers so I can go to bed. I have to get up early for a personal training session. I think tomorrow he's going to start working my upper body again, if I can tolerate it. I don't want to lose so much strength that I have to start all over again. I think my incision is starting to heal, because it is itching me like mad, which is a good sign!

Good night, everyone, and have a great OP day tomorrow!

Oh, and I forgot to add that I am intrigued by all these pumpkin recipes. I hardly cook at all (although Val has done an excellent job of trying to teach me!) and, like I said before, am a ridiculously picky eater (which I hate about myself, but it's not going to change, so I accept it). But I LOVE pumpkin in any shape or form. Pumpkin pie is, without a doubt, the world's most perfect food. Pumpkin ice cream is a close second. I would love to try to make something diet-friendly out of pumpkin.


10-18-2011, 07:26 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Made a strong commitment to stick to my plan yesterday - and did, CREDIT moi. The big moment came after dinner when I remembered the left over pumpkin ice cream. Seemed like a good idea to have a small serving. On second thought, it seemed like a good idea to have a LARGE serving. That thought caught my attention that it was also a good idea to have none - as was my plan. So I had none, Extra CREDIT moi.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – That one’s deadly, "It's easier to eat it then pack it!" Kudos for unraveling yourself from it.

Beverlyjoy – LOL that stomach flu means "At least I am not eating." Yep, kinda nuts.

BelovedK - Congrats on those two pounds gone - I suspect it wasn't "magically," LOL.

pamaga – Just love it that you took my milk chocolate dipped potato chip and immediately started to Test-Kitchen it, LOL. If it was dark chocolate and a baked potato chip, I'd be in for a rough time. I don't think I've ever had anything covered with good dark chocolate that I didn't like.

maryann - Poignant thought that a kid feels that only one teacher likes them. I have mixed feelings about my own low blood pressure and salt. I still minimize salt because its method of raising blood pressure seems to be to damage the walls of the arteries. Think I'll ask my doctor about that one. It makes me feel more secure that your DH is assuring the walnut crop. There is no real substitute for walnuts.

Val (va1erie) – Yep, one of life's key lessons, "You can't correct for too much salt." Shows up in other places, too.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Super Kudos for responding to hunger by brushing your teeth - signaling "that the kitchen is closed until breakfast!" I need to be repeatedly reminded that hunger can be tolerated.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
Some diet programs encourage you to full up on such "free foods" as raw vegetables to avoid hunger. The problem with that advice is that you never learn to tolerate the very normal sensation of hunger. And when free foods aren't easily available, you are likely to fill up on other foods.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 76.

10-18-2011, 11:03 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday was a mixed up day. I stuck to my plan with my meals, but snacked (unplanned) between lunch and dinner. Identified-emotional. *Credit* for not carrying it any further. I did weigh, walk and read my cards but did not sit down with my St.4 Success Skills worksheet. I will do that today. I have already weighed (same), read my cards and have a food plan for today.
I decided it was time for a continuation of my painting project, since I seemed to have time to sit on the couch and eat. I've started already but will head up the back stairs to walk with the group.

BillBlueEyes, super credit for recognizing that sometimes small leads to large which then needs to lead to NO CHOICE.

gardenerjoy, interesting how one indiscretion leads to another. Credit for getting back on track.

Pam(atga), I enjoy "Test Kitchen", too. Yay for 6 who are ready to take your challenge.

BelovedK, kudos for 2 pounds gone!

maryann, such an important reminder, from the mouth of a babe, of what a difference you make in others' lives. Credit for taking those extra steps and for continuing your self-care acknowledging your personal vulnerability.

Val(va1erie), I personally like, "season to taste". It's very easy for things to get way too complicated! I'll take your casserole to our next potluck.

Robin(4EverLearning), I saved several bites for both kitty and the pup. Thx for the reminder . Great job fitting everything into your work life and still making room for dieting.

Beverlyjoy, hope you're feeling better!

10-18-2011, 01:23 PM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up .8), ate slowly and mindfully, got a small amount of exercise (I've been keeping 5# and 8# dumbbells beside the TV, and when I watch I do a series of arm exercises -- 20 biceps curls, 20 delt raises, 20 overhead lifts with the 8#, 20 triceps extensions and 20 straight-arm extensions with the 5#. I've gotten to the point I can do 20 of each, so I just ordered myself a 10# weight and will move up one weight level on each exercise, probably starting out not being able to do the minimum (12 reps) but hoping to build up to doing 20 of each again. Ideally I'd like to be using 15# and 10# weights, eventually, and have GUNS. :)

Pam -- sure I've seen America's Test Kitchens! I've gotten a lot of good info from them!

BelovedK -- congrats on the 2#!

maryann -- I'm like you -- love salt, and tend to low rather than high blood pressure, so I don't fret it. I add salt to pizza. :)

gardenerjoy -- credit for reporting in when you had to report that you hadn't exercised your resistance muscle! That's a GREAT first step in getting back on track! Hm on 2/3 yogurt cheese to 1/3 peanut butter...that sounds, um, very unusual. :D How long did you take to slowly increase the proportion of yogurt cheese to pb?

Robin -- WOW on jogging on the treadmill for 1 min, brisk walking for 2! That's a long way from never having run! RE: the new committee: Okay, can we talk about the word NO? It may be an honor to be on this particular committee, but at the very least the answer needs to be, "I'm honored and I'd love to accept, but before I can do that I'll need to be replaced on the (some other committee)." Re: Christmas: How about you take the money you would have spent on getting to Bethy's and buying gifts for her and her family and spend it on a cruise over Christmas? :D Maybe a singles cruise, where -everyone- will be solo, not just you? Maybe you could go with another friend who is single, even? Hm, on diet-friendly pumpkin ideas...let me give that some thought.

BBE -- Oh, let me know what your doc says about the salt damaging the walls of the arteries! I hadn't heard that -- that would definitely be a reason to learn to cut down on salt!

Debbie -- good for you for STOPPING the unplanned eating before it went any further! If you could only master ONE of Beck's skills, I suspect that would be the one to master. Thin people DO overeat from time to time. But then they STOP.

10-18-2011, 04:48 PM
Well, as usual, there is always a lively discussion going on in this group.

Val Salt to pizza? :o I have found myself salting salads I have made up as long as they don't have many salt-laden ingredients in them (cheese being one, sliced olives being another). I too have ridiculously low B/P so the only concern I have ever had with sodium is that it significantly slows down weight lose but, remember, we are admonished (in the gospel of Matthew) to be "the salt of the earth. If the salt has lost its flavor, it is no good for what it's purpose is, for it is to give flavor, otherwise it is thrown out and trampled under foot." I know that excess refined sugar is like glass shards to the artery walls, according to the seminar I went to back in March for "managing diabetes" but I had not heard anything about salt. So, until Bill finds out otherwise, salt away is what I say!

BelovedK :congrat: on the weight lose. Glad you stopped by.

gardenerjoy I think it is much more important in how a person handles "failure" more than how they handle "success". In fact, I would venture to say that your handling of your "failure" was a "success". You are here. You posted. You are okay. No, you are more than okay. You are just fine.:hug:

Robin I am sure the first Christmas without your old tradition will be difficult. It was when Paul and I first moved here and we were "home alone". However, new traditions evolve out of the present reality. We have learned how to make the holidays special for us. For example, we now have a tradition of watching "It's A Wonderful Life" right after we put up the tree, get it decorated and turn the lights on for the first time. I hope that you will find something that will become the "new" tradition and that it will become meaningful for you over time.

Lexxiss Major Credit for stopping when you did. I find it difficult to stop in mid-chew (as someone I knew used to call it) because all of your faculties are so involved in the "moment" but when you can that is a huge accomplishment.

Well, although I was little disappointed in having the turn out I had, I quickly got down to task and started the challenge. Bingo, right away, the other team lead got the flu (she was doing 2-3 hrs workout on the last challenge so she could force her weight down faster--which she accomplished) and one of my Turtles is sick as well. So, I told them they were "excused" from this week's "competition". Of course, the team leader of the Snails, who won last Buddy Challenge, said she would persevere. :nono: I have insisted that she and the other person "get well" first. They can fall in later. She has admirable drive but sometimes when we want something really bad, we are our own worst enemy.

Word has already gotten back to me that the exercises (these are easy!) are either too hard or too many. Yes, that is why we are doing them so we will get fit. After all, this challenge is called "Move It N Lose It'. Anyway, I am ignoring their grumblings. When I give them the "put a sock in it" they should be having fun by then.

All I have thought about what I said in that open forum the other day. BTW, I did privately apologize to my friend.(Step 10- I work my program seriously ) We have had discussions before. We both signed up for a challenge to get our food plan in line. I care enough to say "I think you might reconsider that choice since it is or could be harmful to you."
My friend knows I care for her. It hurts me as much to say some of these things as I know how it must feel to hear them. There are just too many people around who are "enablers". "Oh, a little sugar won't hurt you." Well, it might not some people but for others, it could be poison.

We both have diabetes. She has it more severely than I do but all I have to say to that is "there but for the grace of God go I". She is genuinely worried about the impact of this disease. She has expressed this to me on more than one occasion. I realize that she is struggling to manage her diabetes and I tell her how well she is doing. When things aren't so good, I tell her to keep trying. All of this comes with its own learning curve.

I have also stepped forward and told another person in one of my groups that I know what diabetes can do (he knows it as well since it has cost him a lot in terms of his overall health) and I strongly encourage him to reconsider some of his choices. TG, for his own sake, he did reconsider some of his choices and he is making wonderful progress with getting his blood sugars under control.

I understand not being perfect. None of us are and certainly not me. It is not about that. I was not trying to be "the diet police" because I would arrest myself half the time. It is about saying, "Do you realize what you are doing and don't you think you might consider stop doing that?"

(this is a true incidence I am now sharing-I do not know the young man personally but I do know his mother). A young man, who was obviously very depressed, was attempting to commit suicide with a loaded gun and in front of some of his best friends, was so adamant about following through on the act that nothing could deter him from doing so. UNTIL, his very best friend, literally broke his arm so he could wrestle the loaded gun from his friend's hand. Now, that same young man, who almost ended his own life, is on anti-depressants and I understand he is doing quite well and making plans for his future.

It is called "intervention". Sometimes, we have to do what is the "ugly" so the "beautiful" can emerge.


10-18-2011, 05:45 PM
Hi Friends... I am feeling better today. I got on the scale after my tummy flu looking for the 'ta-da' moment. (after all, there must be something good that comes from having the flu.) It turned out to be down one pound from last week. LOL ( I was hoping for more...)Not fair... oh well. another LOL

My laptop broke today and I am using DH's company laptop computer. (technically it's a no no) So, just checking in to say that I am doing better and today has been a healthy day.

I'll try and check in tomorrow.

Thanks, always, for your support, wisdom and caring ways.

10-19-2011, 12:26 AM
Much better today. I didn't find the willingness to measure snack 1 but did for snack 2 -- I'll get 'em both tomorrow!

WI: +0.9kgs, Exercise: +20 545/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

va1erie: I started with 1/3 yogurt cheese, 2/3 peanut butter. A few weeks later I went to half and half. It was probably several months before I finally went to 2/3 yogurt cheese and 1/3 peanut butter. I actually like my yogurt-blended peanut butter and mayo better than the full strength versions -- it's creamier and less greasy.

Robin: ...and while I'm on the yogurt cheese missionary zeal, yogurt cheese mixed with pumpkin and cinnamon makes a wonderful (and easy) spread for toast this time of year. Or top it with some granola and eat it with a spoon for a boost of both calcium and Vitamin A. Cinnamon is supposed to have some heart-healthy benefits, too.

10-19-2011, 01:01 AM
Good evening everyone!

Late check in as I wanted to update my exercise ticker, 305 minutes to go for the month and still 13 days to get it in. Had Zumba tonight, was a good class, lots of sweating. :exercise: A friend from class wants me to try a boot camp class with her once our weekend Zumba classes end on Oct 23. I wasn't sure I could handle it and then I thought, of course you can, you last through 60 minutes of Zumba now! Again the scale may not change as quickly as I'd like but my endurance level in class now is remarkable from when I started in April.

Pretty good day OP, weighed, did not read cards, ate slowly, mindfully, to normal fullness, planned exercise, food plan for tomorrow and reminded myself that hunger is not an emergency. Looking forward to tomorrow night and not having any plans beyond doing some laundry.

Credits to everyone for all your successful behaviours. Time for bed!:yawn:

10-19-2011, 06:07 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite, even though last night was my kindervelt (fundraising organization for Cincinnati Children's) soup and salad supper, which is always dessert-heavy. Tried three different soups, skipped the breads and desserts. Did not have a wine-induced snackfest afterwards. Got no exercise, but this morning I'm off to my class.

10-19-2011, 06:29 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - My walk (CREDTI moi) included picking up dinner so we could leave the house early to go to a movie with friends. I ate less than half, CREDIT moi, leaving half for another meal.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – OK, now you've got me; I've got to go figure out what this 'yogurt cheese' is.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yep, when I have a snack in my hands there's an emotion in my heart.

Beverlyjoy – Glad you're feeling better with a pound gone. Hope your laptop also recovers (without the lost pound, LOL).

pamaga – I'll ponder this one, "Sometimes, we have to do what is the "ugly" so the "beautiful" can emerge."

Tazzy - Congrats for taking on the boot camp; can't wait to hear how it goes.

Val (va1erie) – Yay for your plan to slowly increase your exercise weights.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
Philip doubted his ability to tolerate hunger, and he engaged in certain unhelpful behaviors to avoid it. He was always thinking about how, when, and where he could get food, in case he got hungry before his next meal. He consistently overate at meals to ensure that he wouldn't feel hungry later on. He kept extra food in various places, his car and office desk - just in case he got hungry. He was continually giving himself the message that it was bad to be hungry, that he couldn't tolerate hunger. This incorrect thinking is exactly what I want to free you from!
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 76.

10-19-2011, 08:16 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

I have to say that the struggles I have with food and emotional eating/not caring are so difficult at times. Some days every moment is a struggle to "make a better choice". Sometimes I end up eating too much___________but I still have to credit myself when it's not day old donuts, corndogs or entire bags of chips. I feel really grateful in the mornings when I can "feel" my progress and look forward to another day, learning to have a sane relationship with food.

Yesterday was 100% OP and I checked off most of the items on my Stage 4 Success Skills List. *credit* I walked with my girls and got lots of spontaneous exercise. Remembering Beverlyjoy, I simply drew my line in the sand. When I read my cards every day I remember that I want to be thinner and that when I am loose with my eating I distance myself from my goals.

BillBlueEyes, yay for having a sensible plan for dinner before you went to the movies. Your leftovers will make a mighty fine second meal.

Beverlyjoy, yay for feeling better AND having a healthy food day to boot!

Val(va1erie), I enjoyed reading your home weight routine. Credit for moving up to 10#. I agree with you, and for me Get Back On Track Now has been my greatest long term success skill. I did think about your comment that thin people do overeat, however, I must confess that I was not thinking like a thin person at that moment. GJ at the function last eve. Passing on the bread and desserts is certainly a strategy for success. *credit*

Pam(atga), *credit* for looking back at your words and apologizing to your friend. I do believe that those actions do affect our ability to move forward in our own WL journey.

Tazzy, yay for squashing the sabotaging thought that you couldn't do the boot camp and instead analyzed your prior successes for a realistic next step. *credit*

gardenerjoy, yay for a "much better day" and the willingness to step it up with measuring your snacks.

I'm painting again this morning; it keeps my hands busy.

10-19-2011, 09:53 AM
Hi Coaches

I've had a busy weekend with the studio tour which was a lot of work, stress, hope, chatting, smiling, standing about and a net loss financially.

O well.

All 3 of the shows I've done here in my new town this year have been net losses.

It makes me pine for my old hometown.

I didn't eat over this btw. *credit*

I've been cooking from scratch which is my goal, so *credit here, and I continue on with my 5min minimums of exercise per day, and sometimes more.

I am considering giving up the chase to make $, even though this is xmas season. I feel very guilty about this but DH was/is ok with it as I would spend my time cleaning and sorting here at home, working on printmaking projects as my residency is fast approaching and I don't want to be rusty when it's time to go. I could start a few large paintings as well, and continue to deal with the ceramics and the potters' guild. I just won't be contributing financially which is hard for me to accept. I've been applying for work here and so far no luck with that either.

If I am going to be on my own schedule now until my residency in February then I think I am going to sign up for the intense Bikram Yoga introductory pass/rate. $40 for 30 days of unlimited yoga-1.5hr sessions-it's int he same strip mall as the Dollarama I walked to last week; about 15 minutes away in each direction. The class would take up my whole morning and would wipe me out for much of the day at first but if I am working on my own schedule then I can fit this in. I'll keep you posted.

Better go. Nice to see everyone moving forward.

10-19-2011, 08:33 PM
onebyone We missed you. Glad you are back. Since you have been gone I have been hosting a "Move It N Lose It" challenge. I hate to see you spend money when it is so tight for you. Would you like me to send you the exercise routine I have given my "buddies" and you try to do it at home? I have incorporated every day objects found at home. Although I have nothing against gyms or fitness center, because in the past I went to several over two decades, with money being so tight with many people, I also wanted to show people that you can do a lot of what is done elsewhere at home and save yourself the money. It is what I began doing this past summer. I lost 15 lbs, lost over 12" all overall and moved down one whole dress size. Just let me know if you are interested.

Lexxiss I have a new strategy that I have decided to try when it comes to eating "dessert". I have decided the last two times to leave one bite behind to signal to myself that I am done. No more getting every last morsel. We ate out today for lunch at our favorite restaurant and the dessert that I am referring to is "no sugar added" blueberry pie. It is absolutely delicious and although it certainly isn't calorie-free, it really helps me feel "indulgent". So far, it is working and I feel really good that I can exercise self-restraint (for me anyway).

Since I accepted a "food challenge" on my other site which "requires" that we eat 5-6 smaller meals per day, I have also decided that I will call a cup of skim milk and an apple a meal since it is a protein and a carb combo, which is another one of the "requirements" for the "food challenge". This sort of blows my mind in a way because there would have been a time (much like the example below in Bill's daily sharing of Beckisms) I was hoarding food. In fact, it has become sort of a game with me to try and figure out just how small of a meal I can go and still meet those requirements. I will try anything if it breaks me totally free of hoarding, compulsive and/or emotional eating.

Val GJ in moving forward with your exercise and weight program. Is this in preparation for your double knee surgery?

Bill GJ in preparing to avoid the popcorn smell as you enter the movie lobby. That has to be one of the most powerful evoking smells there is.

Yogurt cheese is:simply pour plain yogurt into cheesecloth and let it drain into a bowl over night. Yogurt cheese, like tofu, picks up the flavor of anything you mix it with. So mix it with peanut butter, mayonnaise, or even ice cream and cut your fat and calories while getting all the nutritional and weight-loss benefits of yogurt![This is from an article about how to use yogurt cheese in your food plan to both lose weight and gain added calcium]

Tazzy You are just on fire! Wow! Isn't it exhilirating to know you can choose to do something rather to choose to not do something. What a paradigm shift.

gardenejoy I measure everything that I eat except when I go out. Then, I eyeball the serving sizes. Since I have a few favorite restaurants where I know exactly the serving sizes they serve, I also can then know how many calories, fat, protein, carbs, etc. that is in the particular dish. I plan on measuring everything I eat until I hit maintenance and then I will still do it when I gain 3-5 lbs. It is a skill I will never completely abandon.

Well, I was so busy yesterday with messaging my team members and those of the other competing team, since the team leader is out with the flu, that I was tied to this computer for longer than I care to admit. However, I want things to go well and there were a few things that needed to be ironed out. BTW, one woman said she had just done laundry and she was able to drop 52 single clean socks in a laundry basket with her mouth and hands tied behind her back in the 5 minutes allotted.[This was one of our team challenges] This girl is our team's "secret weapon".

I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept soundly for 9 1/2 hours. The "Buddy Challenge" is going well except even I had the stomach flu yesterday and so I didn't get my own exercise in like I need to be doing. However, I was able to change my ticker again today since I lost 2 lbs. Not a fun way to get that result but I will take it!

Not much else to report. As I have said before, I feel like I am in a really good place emotionally right now and that just makes all of this so much easier when that is the case.

Today, I went to Old Navy and bought my great niece, Sadie, her Halloween costume. I saw their tv ad and I knew what I wanted her to "bee"--yes, she is going to be a "bumblebee" for Halloween. It includes a little dress that is yellow with black stripes, a headband with two yellow pom pom antenna and a wand that has a bumblebee on the end. Since she will be trick n treating in cold MN air, I also got a black turtleneck and black long leggings for her to wear underneath so she won't be cold. Her mommy, my niece Amy who is having a scheduled C-section on Halloween for baby brother Jude, was delighted when I told her. Sadie is also having a Halloween party at her day care so that should be fun too. (i secretly hope she wins a prize):o


10-19-2011, 11:13 PM
OOOOOH, Val, I must say that your suggestion of a singles' cruise over my Christmas break had a stunning impact on me and just stopped me in my tracks. The old me would have cowered in terror at the mere possibility of such an audacious move. And, even now, that is something I would never have thought of on my own. So the fact that I am seriously considering your idea, and that it actually sounds like a challenging but potentially fun adventure to me, speaks volumes about how much I really have changed my mindset--and not only about food!! I did a little research and discovered that there are two Caribbean cruises (both identified as singles' cruises) that could work. They both set sail on New Year's Eve and are a week long, which would put me getting home on a Saturday evening--and the spring semester starts that following Monday, which could be a little risky if my flight home was delayed due to snow here in Ohio. But I think it could be worth it. And it would be a wonderful way to honor all the hard work I have done to reach and maintain my goal weight, and to celebrate my health, not to mention a great way to ring in a new year. So thank you!
As for the new committee I am on, you are right that the word NO often seems to be missing from my vocabulary--except for saying NO to the idea of saying no!! :dizzy: Seriously, I know that's something I need to work on. In this case, what made me eligible for the new committee in the first place is my membership on the other two major university-wide committees, so I can't join the new one and be replaced on one of the others. And part of the reason that I have agreed to be on so many committees lately is that each one is a good opportunity to socialize and meet new people, which has become much more important to me. But I know I should be looking for opportunities to socialize more that don't also mean an increased workload! And YAY YOU for not indulging in a wine-induced snackfest after the kindervelt!

Beverlyjoy, so glad you are feeling better. Being sick just makes it so much harder to honor your commitment to take care of yourself.

BillBlueEyes, resisting pumpkin ice cream is right up there with ignoring hundred dollar bills raining from the sky, so a huge CREDIT to you!

Pamatga, your story about the boy whose suicide was forestalled with a broken arm is certainly the most extreme "intervention" story I have ever heard. Kudos to you for figuring out how to support your friend, who is also struggling with her weight in the context of diabetes, without enabling but also without being intrusive or judgmental. And I can understand why you would balk at the idea of eating 5-6 meals per day. The diet plan I followed to lose my 92 pounds (Nutrisystem-D, for diabetics), and which I still follow (with a little tweaking and a few additions) in maintenance, calls for 6 meals a day. At first I was overwhelmed by that; it just felt like too many opportunities for potential overeating. (I was accustomed to eating just twice a day before I started dieting.) But I think that eating so many small meals is the single biggest reason that my blood sugar is now under perfect control, and my diabetes is in complete remission, with no medication whatsoever. And thank you for the explanation of what yogurt cheese is, and for your words of encouragement about establishing new Christmas traditions. I don't know yet what those new traditions will be for me, but I do have faith that I WILL find a meaningful way to celebrate the holiday.

gardenerjoy, thank you for the suggestion to mix yogurt cheese with pumpkin and cinnamon (I love cinnamon almost as much as I love pumpkin!), which does sound like a really delicious and diet-friendly spread.

Lexxiss, I so identify with what you said about struggling with the sabotaging thought of "I don't care." As Beck points out repeatedly, that thought is a really difficult one to challenge because, in the moment, it is the literal truth--you really DON'T care. I have several cards re: that issue and have to repeatedly remind myself of just how much I WILL care later--even though I don't care at all at the moment that an enticing food is calling my name.

my report: My weight was down .4 yesterday and up .2 today. Ate slowly and mindfully both days, stuck to my plan, saved a bite of my dinner for my kitty both nights, did not read my cards. I had a personal training session yesterday and worked on upper body strength again, after not doing so for two weeks while I recovered from the lumpectomy. Even so, I was actually able to do some of the arm exercises with 20 pound dumbbells yesterday, which is downright astonishing to me. I have a congenital defect in both shoulders that limits my range of motion and makes my shoulders subluxate very easily (sometimes just from rolling over in my sleep). Both shoulders have been completely dislocated at different times, and I had years of physical therapy for them. When I first started out with the personal trainer, I could only use 2-pound weights, and there were many motions I simply couldn't do (like lifting my arms up straight above my head) even with no weight at all. Until recently I was never even able to pull a t-shirt off over my head without first bending forward so that my head was hanging down; nor could I wear anything with a back zipper. Sometimes I felt so weak that I couldn't even hold my arm up high enough to write on the board while teaching a class. So I have made amazing progress. I can only do a small number of reps with the high weights, though. Val, what my trainer always has me do is to start with the heaviest possible weight I can lift, even if I can only do a few reps. When my muscles start to shake, he decreases the weight a little, and so forth. Sometimes the weight gets decreased four times by the time I am done with all my reps (usually 4 sets of 15). That strategy has dramatically increased the strength in my arms, and I can definitely see muscles where none ever existed before! I need to go back one of these days to the place where I used to have my physical therapy and show my therapist just how amazingly far I have come since then!

Hope everyone has a great OP day tomorrow. And thank you to everyone for being such supportive and thoughtful buddies'facilitators. I really enjoy reading everyone's posts and appreciate all of your input and insight. I'm so glad Val found this group!


10-20-2011, 12:32 AM
Lunch didn't go according to plan and ended up too starchy and not vegetably enough. Should be better tomorrow since I picked up the CSA box and extra lettuce today.

WI: -0.6kgs, Exercise: +45 590/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

BillBlueEyes: Yes! Another potential yogurt cheese convert!

Lexxiss: Good job finding your way through emotional eating desires and not caring to a 100% OP day. I love that you're walking with new friends!

onebyone: I can't remember, have you tried Bikram Yoga yet? A friend of mine did but only went once and convinced me that I didn't want to do it. On the other hand, I know that some people really find it helpful. If you can get one session in before putting down money for a pass, I think that might be beneficial.

pamatga: I bought this contraption ( to make yogurt cheese once I decided I liked it. Easier than cheesecloth.

10-20-2011, 05:43 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - I let frustration with trying to load a driver for a device that attaches to my laptop lead me to the stash of nuts - Ouch. Still need that tattoo saying Nuts do not cure frustration.

Exercise (CREDIT moi) was walking from the 3rd floor to the basement and back many, many times as I tried to figure out how a thermostat that said that it wasn't calling for heat was making the boiler fire. Finally, after multiple trips, figured it out; it wasn't. The thermostat that had been removed was the culprit - because the painters who removed it had left the wires touching which is the equivalent of being ON. Yeah for figuring out the obvious only after getting ample exercise.

onebyone – Yep, Kudos for "I didn't eat over this btw. *credit*" Good luck figuring out your plan between now and February.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Ya done it to me again; I just spent 'hours' reading the Amazon reviews for that yogurt cheese maker. I already use yogurt in place of mayonnaise and sour cream, but this might make it more appealing.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – It's so great to remember that day old donuts never have to cross our lips again.

pamaga – Yay for bumblebee Sadie for Halloween. What costume will you wear?

Robin (4EverLearning) - Just boggled at your clear mindset that you are now at a place where a cruise is appealing - instead of appalling, LOL. Hope you do it, just for the joy of strutting your body confidence.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
People who have never struggled with weight or dieting just don't think too much about hunger. They don't think, Oh, no, I just finished breakfast ... What if I get too hungry before lunch? They don't feel panicky during a busy day, thinking, What if I don't get a chance to eat? They don't load up on extra food during a meal because they think, I might get hungry later on. No, they know that they can tolerate hunger, that it's never an emergency; and that if they turn their attention to something other than their hunger, the sensation goes away. This can happen for you, too, once you overcome your fear of hunger.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 77.

10-20-2011, 10:54 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (down .2), ate slowly and mindfully and left a bite, got planned but no spontaneous exercise, contacted my diet buddy.

BBE -- yay for leaving half your carryout dinner! That's often my strategy for restaurant/carryout meals, too -- order what I like, eat half, save the other half for another meal. LOL on Nuts do not cure frustration.

Debbie -- good for you for drawing a line in the sand at "read cards every day."

onebyone -- CREDIT for not letting stress result in overeating! What's the difference between this new town and the old one that is making the difference in sales?

Pam -- the exercise and weights are just so I can be stronger. I am avoiding the knee surgery for as long as possible, although at this point I'm starting to have knee issues so frequently that it's probably time. I do need to work on the quadriceps before the surgery, especially, and that's something I need to add to my home routine.

Robin -- I am just GRINNING over your reaction to the cruise idea! :D I love it that it feels to you like a way to honor all your hard work and celebrate your health as well as being a way to deal with the fact your holiday-break tradition is going to change this year. So it sounds like the new committee would have been no more than a mostly-welcome addition to your workload if only you weren't already overextended with covering for the colleague who is on sabbatical? WOW on 20# dumbbells -- I have never used anything heavier than 12 pounds, and at 12 pounds I can do maybe 3 or 4 bicep curls. Hm, so your trainer would say to go ahead and do those 3 or 4 at 12, then when my arms can't lift 12 again, drop to 10, etc.? I may have to order another dumbbell! :D I have noticed one thing about my increased strength -- I've NEVER been able to do pushups. Not even one, not the real kind. But I can now do 6. They aren't PERFECT -- my chest is definitely not 2" from the floor, which is the ideal -- but I get my elbows to approximately a 90-degree angle. I'd like to eventually be able to do 20 pushups to within 2" of the floor. I can do 11 "girlie" pushups (knees bent) to within 2" of the floor, and I didn't used to be able to do even one of those, either.

gardenerjoy -- What are you getting in your CSA now? At the fm, we mostly have lettuce, greens, potatoes, onions, radishes, carrots, squash.

10-20-2011, 12:20 PM
Good Morning Coaches,

Glad to have a little time this morning to check in. This family is officially in HARVEST with all the craziness that ensues. It is a difficult year, the rain three weeks ago caused mold on the tomatoes , the alfalfa and the nuts. The cannery won't take the tomatoes - they will be plowed under :( the drier keeps getting plugged - blah blah blah. I have rarely seen DH so stressed. And it is difficult for me to get my feet back under me emotionally from last week's fall apart. I have two days to write a 20 page fictional story . SO.... One minute at a time, DS is safely on a field trip. Although I have played chocolate scavenger hunt at school this week, weight is only 1 pound from ticker (miracle). I will start writing at 9:30. I will tell the truth, I will have a plan, it might not be a perfect plan but I will have a plan. I will bake a figure friendly crab quiche to gnaw on and for a break crack open some Walnuts DS picked up visiting Daddy.
Pamatga: Thanks for the know how on yogurt cheese. I will try it. If I finish my story in time, I am going to make pastas tom. for the first time.

Hello to all.

10-20-2011, 03:34 PM
Hi Everyone,

Pretty good day yesterday, read cards, ate slowly, but at dinner not mindfully enough, I was really hungry and the ravioli I made is really filling and I should have allowed my brain time to catch up and let me know I was full. Had a 2nd helping and was very uncomfortable for the rest of the night. It did make a trip to Walmart better with not grabbing things to snack on! Weighed both days, no change. No exercise yesterday.

I have one of my fundraiser events tonight so I'll be walking for 6.5 hours during the event and only get a couple of chances to sit down. I did remember to wear my pedometre so I can track my steps and use some towards my exercise goal. It won't be all the steps, I know I get around 11,000 for a 1.5 hour walk.

Probably won't be back for personals until the weekend, have a great day!

10-20-2011, 06:54 PM
I am late again today but I wanted to actually read this week's assignment for my Friday night Bible study rather than "winging it". It is so much less stressful that way and like so many other things in life; it just plain feels good to come prepared.

Since my women's retreat was cancelled for this coming weekend I am going to work on the painting I began in my "home office" this past spring. So, that is Saturday's plan. DH is going to do the "high spots" if I can get that "moving target" to sit still long enough to incorporate his help. Out of the blue, he offered to teach a friend to play the acoustic guitar over our usual dinner hour. I reminded him that this is one of the reasons why we eat out so much because trying to get both of us to sit down at the same time to eat is near impossible it seems. I am keeping a watchful eye on sodium these days so I had no problem switching gears for what I am going to eat. I actually want to have the same dinner that I had for lunch: grilled turkey burger, roasted edamame and wasabi dried peas and red grapes. It was sooo good it is worth a repeat.

thanks gardenerjoy I will definitely check out for the yogurt cheese maker. I need to look online for a spring form pan anyway since I wanted to make a traditional New York style cheesecake (I have all of the ingredients) and the directions call for that so that plan is stalled until I get the right "tools". I am going to be hosting a "Cooking Challenge" over on BLC in January so I am already experimenting in the kitchen.

Bill Do you cuss? If you don't, you need to learn to, and I don't mean
diluted version of the really blue words. I mean, really open up and let it rip, man!

I never swore until I took a temp job many, many years ago and I worked 10 hour nights in a factory assembling tool kits for semi-trucks. I was tired of standing on my feet, it was hot, the machines were constantly breaking down and by the time I got my lunch ready to eat it was time to go back to work. So, I was hot, tired, hungry AND frustrated. It was ripe picking for some words to come spilling out of my mouth. Add to that fact that everyone around me swore like a sailor and within 3 weeks, I was quite creative in the use of many words that would make a biker blush.:o. I try to not swear a lot but sometimes when things build up, you just got to get it out.

You are absolutely correct: There are no amount of nuts in this world that can deal with frustrating feelings. However, a few well chosen cuss words really do get a load off a person's chest. Try it and see if you feel like eating those nuts afterwards! "Nice guys finish fat." Just remember that!

Robin Wow, you did start out with quite a challenge with your shoulders. About 25 years ago I was quite an avid amateur body builder. I just loved how it felt to be so strong physically. Unfortunately, I took that feeling and allowed myself to get fat on top of all that muscle. When I resumed using hand weights, I too had to start so small it hardly seemed worth the money to spend on such light weights but because of the past injuries in my shoulders, especially the right one, and then having arthritis in both shoulder joints, I had no choice. I love the way your trainer is working you with the succession of heavier to light. I have done something similar but actually in reverse---go to 3 sets of 15 repetitions, do that until that becomes easy and then move up a couple of pounds where I then drop down to 1 set of 15 repetitions. I am going to try your trainer's way and see how that goes.

Tazzy I hear you about when something tastes so good you have more than one helping. What I have done is measure out everything as I had pre-planned it and then I stop there. I do not do second helpings on anything any more. Yes, I want more. I just don't have more. Your walking will burn a lot of that off though. I am sure of that.

maryann I am so sorry to hear about your tomato crop. Farming is such a risky business sometimes when Mother Nature has her way. You know, I would be tempted to write a factual personal story and then change the names and a little other "details" to (protect their identity) and then call it fiction. Well, it is in a way since it no longer is exactly the truth. When you write about what you know, 20 pages is a snap.

Lexxiss GJ in reading your ARC cards "no matter what". The important things in life just need to have priority. I was just telling my DH today that although there is a women's social function coming up early next week, part of that includes an appetizer and dessert exchange and I said to him, "You know, I am 118 lbs from my goal weight. Right now, it feels like that is so far away for me although if I am really disciplined for this next year I will be so much closer to my goal weight and then I don't think I would feel quite so stressed if I had someone else's dessert (or maybe I would, I don't know) so I am going to pass. I see some of these women at other functions so why put my plans at risk? Although I am doing much better than I have been in a long time, I want to keep that momentum going because I know that there will come a day when it won't be so regular as clock work." Long story to make the point of "drawing the line" but I think I have really redefined "drawing the line" over many things in the past month or two. This is but another one.

onebyone Hope you are doing well. Thinking good thoughts of you.:hug:

Sadie's costume is on its way. Bill , I am just going to hand out mini boxes of raisins this year and no dressing up. I have in past years but this year I'm not. I just want to keep reminding myself that this is one night which does not give me a license to eat miniature chocolate candy bars with abandonment. What exactly am I celebrating here? Hmmmm, good question!

Credit:for giving back to others what I have been so blessed to be given and with humor. Latest daily Team Challenge is putting an empty box by their bedside and once upon arising they are expected to pick up whatever they see in their foot path as they move through the day. Once the box is full they then have to put all of the box's contents away AND then start over refilling that box, doing this throughout the day until they retire. One man whose wife is away, and is also "Felix to his Oscar", I had to modify the instructions so that he had "my permission" to mess the house up but with the idea he cleaned it before his wife came home. Most of the people in this Buddy Challenge are retired so they are home more than a working person. Everyone will get a clean home out of this challenge. Just doing my duty. :D

Credit Tossing out more ARC cards as they become tattooed on my
frontal lobe.

Beck Skills I am working on:

1)making sure that my food plan is balanced within each "meal" and throughout the day. That means making a concerted effort to combine a protein with a carb.
2)eating within calorie range--this is the SINGLE most difficult part of my food plan. I am now aiming for hitting the high calories of my range and if I go over then make sure I have burned that many calories that day. For me to eat under 2000 calories a day is tough. Right now, at this weight, I am still managing to lose weight at about 2 lbs a week but I do know at some point I will have to eat much less than I am doing now. I am thinking that I will probably have to make an even stronger commitment to work out more during the weight lose phase of this, simply because I burn calories up fast and I can eat a very lean healthy meal and be empty within an hour.
Credit I have been sitting with physical hunger down pat because I do it every night and I have for nearly two months. I do try to save around 100 calories so I can have a mini bag of fat free microwave popcorn but after 9 pm it is sitting with the stomach growling right up to bedtime at 2 am.

Tazz Was it you who posted the [I]"It's not about will power but want power."? Well, I say that over and over again every day. It is my new mantra. I want this. I want it bad. Thanks for sharing that.


10-20-2011, 09:57 PM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday I was offered a very part time/fill in job as a waitress at our local diner. I went in this am to spend a few hours "learning the ropes." It was super busy and the hostess went home sick. I jumped in and finished a 10 hour shift without sitting down. I had my morning smoothie at 5:15am and did not have one single bite of anything until we sat down to dinner at 5pm.*credit* for not tasting at all. It is the first time I've waitressed with the Beck inspired "no nibble" policy and it was very comfortable. I decided that we'd have dinner early and I'd just be done with my food for the night.

MaryAnn, I am sorry to hear about your tomato crop and for all the stress it brings your family, especially DH. *credit* for taking care of yourself, too. Yes, sometimes our best is not perfect and that is ok.

onebyone, credit for your hard work which did not have financial gain. I wanted to let you know (as the breadwinner in our marriage) that it can be totally ok. My DH does lots of things around the house he wouldn't do otherwise. We could use more money but we live very happily without. Having the opportunity to devote time to your health and household until February (without guilt) could be the greatest gift. I'd encourage you to be openminded.

Must sleep. Take care everyone.

10-20-2011, 11:28 PM

Today was not great. I have a lot of things to sort through. Food called to me off and on all day. I did get my min. exercise in. I don't feel motivated to post here these days, so I'll take credit for doing so anyway.

See you tomorrow.

10-21-2011, 12:19 AM
I spent much of the day prepping food. I used to resent the time I spent doing that. Now, it's more that I resent the bill of goods I was sold that modern women don't need to spend time doing that -- when it turns out that to eat healthily takes quite a bit of prep time. Even more, I resent the corollaries:
a) prepping food is onerous. Ha! What could be more satisfying work than making food? The smell of applesauce cooking on the stove and squash bread in the bread machine, the beauty of a huge bowl of newly harvested green tomatoes, and the taste of salad and veggie pasta with the freshest ingredients.
b) prepping food is not a valuable way to spend time. I'm still struggling with this one, actually. Should I have spent the day writing? Or, I don't know, curing cancer?

WI: +0.05kgs, Exercise: +45 635/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

va1erie: yep, your list of farmers market veggies is pretty much what was in my CSA box this week. Our squash was delicata--my favorite because I can slice it into rainbows, marinate it in sesame oil and maple syrup, then pop it on the grill. The skin is so thin that you can eat it!

10-21-2011, 06:52 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Had the same exercise as yesterday, CREDIT moi, for the opposite reason. I climbed up and down the stairs because one thermostat refused to call for heat (in contrast to yesterday's problem with a thermostat that continuously called for heat no matter what). Alas, after detailed and sophisticated analysis, I found the problem. A little switch that I never touch was set to OFF, LOL.

onebyone – Yep, the biggest Kudos for posting are earned when you don't want to post. Hope you're able to feel the sun rising in your life today.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for celebrating food prep. My DW has been trying to get me to just accept that for several years now.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Monster Kudos for your 10 hours at the restaurant without a nibble - you're now my poster child for today's tolerate hunger exercise.

pamaga – Love the thought of swearing my way out of eating. Since I tend to over snack alone, it won't be a problem. I learned some fine words when I worked construction during college summers.

maryann - Ouch for the tomatoes and all the stress stacking up. Sending you creative vibes so you can sit and write your short story - one sentence at a time.

Tazzy - 6.5 hours is a lot of walking - Kudos for that.

Val (va1erie) – Kudos for continuing to leave a bite. I need to work harder on that one. Yay for fall squash!

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
Before you start dieting, you need to know, without a doubt, that you can tolerate hunger - because from time to time you will feel hungry. The Think Thin Initial Eating Plan will minimize hunger, but it won't eliminate it completely. To avoid ever experiencing hunger, you'd have to eat constantly. Many of the dieters I've worked with have told me that it was such a revelation to learn that they could wait to eat until the next planned meal or snack. Not only were they freed from their fear of hunger, but also they found they actually enjoyed meals and snacks so much more when they were a little hungry.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 77.

10-21-2011, 08:06 AM
I had a good night of rest and feel ready to tackle another day of sane eating. Today's agenda includes both Costco and Whole Foods. Fortunately, my Beck skills teach me a strategy for success.

BillBlueEyes, how DO those switches get switched?? It's always been a mystery to me. Kudos for walking up and down those stairs until you figured it out...and apparently not with the assistance of your tree nuts!

onebyone, yes, credit for posting...especially when you were resisting!

Pam(atga), yay for switching gears and having the same healthy dinner that you had for lunch. I agree, regarding your women's social function. Next year works just fine as you focus on your health and WL this year. Bravo!

MaryAnn, sending supportive thoughts as you write your story a word at a time.

Tazzy, it's a great step forward to acknowledge times when you could have used your Beck skills to aviod 2nd helpings. It will be easier next time.

Val(va1erie), yay for such consistent reporting of your daily progress! I'm trying to remember to leave that bite, too.

gardenerjoy, credit for finding the joy in healthy food prep. Me, too. It is so satisfying to prepare healthy food for my family.

Robin(4EverLearning), I'm excited that you were able to take a suggestion of a cruise and translate it to, "a wonderful way to honor all the hard work I have done to reach and maintain my goal weight, and to celebrate my health…." Your words speak volumes!

10-21-2011, 08:27 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (up 1.6), ate slowly and mindfully until my daughter had a meltdown, at which point I ate two chewy granola bars. :( But, credit for stopping there. Got little exercise (just my home dumbbells work plus a minor amount on my ped), but this morning I walked to my class and back, and this afternoon I'll likely walk to my happy hour, so lots of both planned and spontaneous exercise today. So glad it's Friday and Jane will be able to sleep as much as she needs for the next two days.

maryann -- good for you for having a plan, even if it isn't the perfect plan! And good for you for realizing that even an imperfect plan is better than no plan at all.

Tazzy -- it's amazing how many times I think I want seconds and then a half hour later regret it. I've definitely gotten better with practice, though. Feeling overfull is a trigger for me, so I have been trying very hard to work on this skill.

Pam -- I love edamame! It's become my favorite thing to serve as an appetizer. The pods slow people down, and there's protein in them, so even though they aren't exactly -low- in calories, they feel healthy.

Debbie -- Good for you for not nibbling at work, and congrats on the new job. I waited tables all through college and really enjoyed it. I was a kick-*** waiter! Totally played to my strengths.

onebyone -- yes, take credit for posting when you don't feel like it. When you don't feel like it is very likely when you MOST need to.

gardenerjoy -- I actually like prepping food, most days. I like sitting down with a pile of veggies and ending up with a mis en place that'll make cooking a joy. Like you I consider my time spent prepping to be valuable. To me, that's time spent creating a healthy, comforting and peaceful home for myself and my family. I can remember as a kid walking into the house to the sounds and smells of dinner being prepared. There was nothing more comforting.

BBE -- Do you wear a pedometer? I'd love to know how many calories you burned climbing stairs the past two days! :)

10-21-2011, 12:30 PM
Good morning everyone,

It's quite chilly here this morning and with some the help of some fog we ended up with a hard frost. Happy to have a garage to park the car in, it's way to early to start scrapping frost! Looks like I'll have to pull the rest of the green onions and carrots out of the garden. Still have about 10 - 15 feet rows of each one. My coworkers will be happy to see me on Monday morning with the last of the harvest!

I'm feeling kind of tired this morning after my event last night. I got 10,491 steps on my pedometer so I'm going to take 45 minutes for my exercise ticker. I do have to give myself a huge credit for last night though. The hotel we have the event at serves really good food. We always have wraps, chips, cookies and beverages for the staff at the event. This year I decided before going to the event that I was not having any of the cookies (and they are so good). I'm not sure how many times last night I said NO CHOICE and walked away from the room. I had a lot of stuff based out of that room and had to be there frequently, we leave the food for the others to eat when they get their breaks so I could not have it removed. So again big credit for me.

Well off to face what's at my desk today. Happy Friday everyone!

10-21-2011, 01:18 PM
GD :sunny: everyone!

Funny the conversation has turned to food prep because no one mentions about all the dirty dishes afterwards! I have learned that is also part of the "necessary" process so I am taking time while the dishwasher is washing my "mess" before I make yet another one to post here. TGIF!

onebyone If there is anything any of us can do right now, just let us know, okay? I agree with everyone else, the biggest credit always goes to when we do something when we least feel like it. For me, that is about 70% of the time I don't feel like doing what I need to do. 40% of the time I can push myself to do it anyway in spite of how I feel about it and 30% I stall until I "have to do it". I figure that as long as it gets done, it doesn't really matter which percentage it took to do it. It got done! Kudos for realizing that.

Val the edamames I bought are already shelled, dry roasted with a sprinkling of sea salt. I measure out 1/4 cup and eat them right out of the measuring cup so the 100 calorie serving size is within my food plan. So far, this is only way I like them. They taste like sunflower seeds.

I feel for you regarding having an emotional teenage girl in the house. Now, that is an emotional roller coaster ride to live with. It's been a very long time for me and she is gone now but I do remember.

Debbie Wow! A second job as a waitress on top of everything else you are doing. I have only been a waitress once and I was 18 at the time. You run your legs off. You are never still. GJ handling all of that and staying on track.

gardenerjoy Well, that was me last night and will be for the next day or so as I work my way through the recent groceries I bought. I made my black bean chili last night. I'm making pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting to take to our Friday night Bible study tonight. I am hosting a breakfast meeting on Sunday so I am making banana walnut, cranberry and mini chocolate chip muffins to bring along. Whatever will be left over will freeze nicely. I am hoping to make my homemade whole wheat pizza for tomorrow night dinner. Paul doesn't like pizza (yes and I married him anyway;) )so it will be two minis: one for save keeping. Then, finish off my cooking marathon with ham and lentil soup. I just ordered another cookbook too. :D :rofl:

Okay, now about the Beck skills I'm working on:

-I will admit that with getting this "Buddy Challenge" going and on track that I really have put my needs on the back burner, especially exercising. I hate to admit this but it feels kind of good to not be so intent on "all of that". However, I am giving myself a narrow window before I jump back on the treadmill etc. I can rest but just not get too comfortable doing so.
-I measure my food, I log my food on my BLC food log, I do not take seconds, I always eat slowly (in fact way too slow--90 minutes to finish my lunch, for ex), I always sit down when I eat (although often it is right here at this computer).
-I have been working these Beck "behavior modification" skills now for almost seven months without fail. Some I already had down pat and others I had to specifically work on for a while.
-My biggest struggle is, and I have a feeling will be for some time to come, eating more calories than is recommended. BLC has calculated that I need to eat between 1400-1800 calories per day. I have calculated it on another website and that said 1800 calories. My pedometer says that I am burning an average of 165-240 calories per day walking on the treadmill alone. The faster I can walk the more calories I burn, according to both my treadmill and my pedometer.

The main reason why I am hovering around 2000-2100 calories some days is simply because I have the habit of drinking juice or skim milk to take with my daily ritual of pain meds I take. The larger ones get stuck and so when they do, the coating gets moist inside my mouth and the after taste is just plain bitter so I have felt that I need to mask that taste in my mouth with something with flavor. I don't know if that is a "crutch" but I have identified that as a problem for me and one I need and plan to work on.

As I am going through the ARC cards I made back in April, I am trying to determine which skill I need the most work on. I'm thinking about that right now. The one above seems the most dominant for now. If I can't get my calories down, then I am going to have to step up my working out. That is the only other way that I can see a solution.

I accepted a "Food Challenge" earlier this month. It will end on October 31st. I like joining these because they are way to "check in" and "check off" my own food plan against what is "recommended" by BLC and see where I am at. I will admit that I was foregoing cooking with olive oil so I could shave the 100 calories to be used elsewhere but I now recognize that I was also foregoing a healthy fat that I needed. So, even after this food challenge is over I am going to continue to cook with olive oil and try to keep my hands off the 0 calorie cooking spray that I am accustomed with.

We had a "Fruit n Vegetable" challenge last April and since I made a game of it, it actually became fun. One of the tenets of that challenge was to try to eat a real variety of fruits and especially vegetables. I decided I was going to plunge right in and try all kinds of foods I would never have considered trying. Again, if you do anything long enough, it does stick and become a habit.

In fact, in order to keep all of this "fresh" for myself, I am always willing to try something "new" for me. It might be "old hat" for you but for me if it is breaking the mold, I am thrilled. Last night, I did end up having another grilled turkey burger (yum yum!) but instead of the salty snacks of edamame and wasabi peas from lunch, I was cutting up red and green peppers for my chili so I cut some strips and had them with my turkey burger along with some raw carrots. I was "eating the rainbow". Red,green, orange and then the bright yellow mustard on my turkey burger. Pretty!

The best way that I know how to counter any and all sabotaging thoughts for me is to stay focused here in the present. I don't even think about anything beyond a day or two at the most. The main thing that I am not doing is obsessing and then acting it out by being compulsive. Credit for slaying that dragon. Since nature abhors a vacuum; so, what am I doing with all that "freed up mental energy". Well, the next couple of days, I will be food prepping and cooking, painting tomorrow, and going to a couple of Bible studies. Works for me.

Have a great day everyone!

10-21-2011, 05:41 PM
Hi folks... I should have the 'part' for my computer tonight. (it worked for a few minutes, then didn't again) I am using Dh's work computer. Just for a few moments. I've been writing it all down and planning too.

I hope to catch up more tomorrow.

We all need to be kind to ourselves.

10-22-2011, 06:01 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - For exercise I walked to and from the subway as well as up all stairs instead of using the escalators, CREDIT moi. Planned food was OK, but extra snacking occurred - Ouch. At a short reception in the evening, I lingered over snacks as if I needed a meal. I wasn't expecting food and didn't have my mind in gear to plan one special nibble.

I did resist going after food when I suffered that frustration from shopping at Home Depot for new shower doors. They sell multiple sizes in multiple styles - but it's a challenge to find the style we like in the size we need. Feels a bit like shopping for clothes, LOL.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yay for your proven resistance to FREE samples at both Costco and Whole Foods.

Beverlyjoy – Just the reminder I need today, "We all need to be kind to ourselves."

pamaga – Love the notion of "plunge right in and try all kinds of foods I would never have considered trying." I'm still working on feeling sane while cleaning up the dishes after a big event around here.

Tazzy - Ouch for hard frost - if it can happen to you it could happen here, LOL. Walking 5 miles at an event is reason enough to feel tired, but having to say NO CHOICE all night long is tiring also. Kudos for a fine evening.

Val (va1erie) – Yep, Big Kudos "for stopping there."

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
In this experiment, you are going to rate how uncomfortable your hunger really is. Doing so will teach you:
You can tolerate hunger.
Hunger comes and goes.
You do not have to eat just because you feel hungry. You can wait until your next regularly scheduled meal or snack.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 77.

10-22-2011, 07:50 AM
report: read my cards, weighed (down 1), ate slowly and mindfully and made reasonable choices except possibly for lunch. I didn't get to lunch until 2, and I was at a restaurant, and although I hadn't planned it, I decided to order fish and chips, which is a menu item I particularly like at this place and in general never would consider ordering -- there are a dozen items on the menu that are better choices. I ordered a small portion and ate half the fish, half the chips. I'm not sure whether I was just ignoring sabotaging thoughts, but I didn't actually feel too bad about it and I ate a light dinner and got tons of exercise, but the point is I -hadn't- planned to choose a plateful of fried food. Contacted my diet buddy.

Tazzy -- chilly here as well! It also rained all day for three days this week, though yesterday was sunny and I hope today will be for the fm, too. Second to last market of the season. Good for you for getting in over 10,000 steps on your ped! And major credit for following your plan not to have any of the cookies!

Pam -- good for you for recognizing that staying focussed in the present is important for you.

Beverlyjoy -- good for you for planning and monitoring!

BBE -- yay for resisting eating to resolve frustration!

10-22-2011, 10:14 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

I've checked my morning items off my Stage 4 Success Skills worksheet. *credit* I had a great day in Denver making many very good choices with both lunch and practicing my resistance skills. Dinner was a healthful version of old favorites. I properly portioned and enjoyed, but dipped into :nono: land after dinner. Scale was up today, to be expected. I'm back on track and will take a walk today (if they don't call me in to work). I'm keeping my fingers crossed-I'd rather exercise for $$.

BBL-time to meet mom for Saturday breakfast.

10-22-2011, 12:38 PM
Good Morning Coaches,

I had a big post yesterday that was lost at the last minute. Thought I would try again today.
Story and critical stuff was in the mail by 1:35 yesterday. It is hard for me to mail off because of that compulsive thing - "It is not perfect so I can't send it." Anyway, I am free for the weekend. Free from work for the weekend :)
Food is ok. Making healthier choices - scale is same. I did make my own pasta for the first time and it was incredibly easy and fun. DS and DH loved it. I tasted a little too often through the process. Big exercise catch up plan today. Pilates this morning and a treadmill walk tonite.

Thanks for everyone's well wishes. DH is really started to move on harvesting the nuts and he feels much better.

Personals tom.

10-23-2011, 03:41 AM
This is really late for Saturday and really early for Sunday. Late Friday night, Aunt Flo came to visit and I ended up with very poor sleep. I stayed up at 8 a.m. for take-out breakfast then talked to DH for 3 hours about a book he is reading then I took a 4 hour nap in the afternoon while he walked 10 miles. When he returned I made dinner then began making muffins for Sunday morning Bible study. DH is going to cover for me since I am not going. I am going to redo his resume and apply online for him for seasonal work since his main work is very slow right now. One good turn deserves another.

I don't know if this is a credit or not but I decided yesterday that I am going to drop where I started last June 2010 when I was my heaviest and start right here and now where I am at and begin to count down to my end weight. I have managed to maintain a 50 lbs weight lose for one year, going up and down about 5-6 lbs (mostly when I eat out a lot) and I have just decided that to continually refer to that "old weight" really doesn't "resonate" with me right now.

I was taking a look at the calendar and how many more pounds I have to lose and I am going to make a year goal of being my goal weight by November 2012. I figured that it would be 9.8 lbs per month. I was able to check back over this past month since I keep my daily weigh-ins and I managed to lose 8.2 lbs in exactly one month and I was eating an average of 2000 calories a day most of the time AND half of that month I couldn't exercise because of my knee being re-injured. So, if all goes well, I believe that it is doable. Okay, I concede that doesn't leave a lot of room for injuries, error, human nature, etc but I have my mind made up so now I just have to put it into practice.

I was thrilled to death that the woman who is hosting this October Food Challenge is going to have a slightly different one for November! What that will entail is posting what our daily calories, then a breakdown of the key nutrients like carbs, fat, protein, fiber and sodium each day as part of the accountability so I will be sharing that with you here. I KNOW right now that it is going to be hard for me to stick to 1800 calories a day but I am just going to take it one day at a time (name of the thread as well) and just focus on that day only. Thanksgiving Day will be exempt from this.

Then, to "sweeten the pot" she is also getting things together to "host" a year long challenge for next year!! :woohoo: I said "sign me up!" I just feel that both of these will help keep me focused and on track. I am very excited about them.

The next "best news of the day" was that Daniel, our Master gardener, made an executive decision and he is now going to offer us the opportunity to extend our garden plot through December 2012. In the past, you had to have your garden cleaned out by December 15th and the next year's wouldn't be available to February 15th. Since this excessive summer heat took its toll on a lot of our summer plants (I lost my peas and green peppers since they are a little more "delicate") and many of us "folks" simply stood our ground when we were asked to remove the remainder of our summer plants so we could be "on schedule" with our fall planting. TG I did because right now my single surviving tomato plant has 2 1/2 dozen wonderful green tomatoes just waiting for them to ripen. Others did the same. It was a "silent protest" but it was felt!

Well, granted December is cold here (highs in the 50s) but, as I was telling another person, on the colder nights we can cover our plants with an old sheet and we will be fine. January can be rainy but by February 1st we have 60 degree temperatures. Daniel did say that we could put in carrots and other cooler weather plants during that time. On November 5th, we do have "mandatory tidying up" of the grounds overall. There will be guest speakers on organic gardening as well and we will also have a "community" barbeque.

For 10/22:
-pedometer went in the wash with my sweat pants and "drowned". In spite of a new watch battery, I was not able to "resusitate" it.
-ate take-out for breakfast and, yes, I had the sabotaging thoughts of "I deserve this because of the kind of night I had." I did counter that with some Beckisms but "I don't care" won out. (sigh)That choice alone shot both my daily calories and sodium up for the day. I can not do this for next month's challenge at all! :nono:
-resumed my food plan to the letter for the rest of the day and night until I decided to try one each of the muffins I made to be sent with DH. I wasn't even hungry for them. I rarely do this but, without thinking who I was making these for[they are made with organic whole wheat pastry flour, no sugar, low fat (used unsweetened applesauce instead)]. :fr:, I just panicked!

So, I quickly tasted one of each (unplanned snack although logged it) to see if a "normal person" (read:someone who is accustomed to white flour/white sugar muffins) would notice the absence of unhealthy ingredients. I don't know. I am also sending 100% grape juice along with. I am hoping the sweetness from that will "cover" the lack of sweetness in the muffins. I'll know afterwards how "receptive" they were when I see how many return.
-I didn't read my cards but I knew instantaneously which ones I "goofed up on". (read above!)


10-23-2011, 06:49 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Made a specific trip to the pantry to grab some trail mix. Got there, touched the jar, and then remembered, NO CHOICE. Let it go and continued my business. CREDIT moi. A needed resistance for me.

Did OK at a restaurant with family celebrating a bunch of birthdays, CREDIT moi. I forgot to leave a bite on my plate; it's rare for me to remember to leave a bite either at home or at restaurants. Think I'll make an extra effort to do that today since I'm scheduled for another restaurant meal tonight.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Like the notion of "exercise for $$," although doing so around food at a restaurant would be hard for me.

pamaga – Goodness, do you ever manage to consistently keep an inconsistent sleep schedule, LOL. Kudos for barreling forward despite that. Yay for an over-winter garden; that's a thought with no meaning around here, as you well know.

maryann - Congrats on getting the short story completed, and Double Congrats for mailing it despite the Sabotaging Thought "It is not perfect so I can't send it." I also feel much better knowing your DH is harvesting the walnuts - gives me quivers to think of a shortage.

Val (va1erie) – Delayed meals do tend to thwart the planning. Kudos for stopping at half of the fish and chips. I have eaten the fish right out of their fried shell and thought myself avoiding the calories from the cooking oil; have never asked if that's so or not - does anybody know?

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
To complete the experiment, you will need to create a Discomfort Scale to rate the level of discomfort you feel during the experiment. Do the following:
1. Create a chart in your Diet Notebook, like the one Phillip filled out on page 78. Label it as "Discomfort Chart." You will fill it in with your own examples.
2. Think back to discomfort you've experienced in your life. Fill in the top of the Discomfort Chart with experiences in which you felt severe, moderate, and mild discomfort. You will fill in the bottom part when you do a hunger experiment.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 77.

10-23-2011, 10:23 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down, left a bite, got no exercise, contacted my diet buddy.

Debbie -- good for you for being back on track. What were you saying to yourself before dipping into "no-no land," do you remember? Was there a sabotaging thought you could come up with a response card for, for the future?

maryann -- hate those lost posts!

Pam -- 9.8 pounds per month is a LOT, especially as you start to approach your goal weight. As I approached goal, I was probably losing 2 pounds per month. Good for you for logging your uplanned snack!

BBE -- yay, you for remembering NO CHOICE and for strengthening your resistance muscle! When you avoid the fried shell of batter on the fish, you do avoid nearly all the calories from the cooking oil -- a little gets in from any openings in the batter, and the number of openings depends on the type of batter, but in general you're good. You're also avoiding the calories from the breading itself, of course, though you're probably still getting the dredge (the flour the fish is dipped into first to make the batter stick) but you can generally count this as eating fish grilled in a wee bit of oil and with a tiny amount of flour. Slightly more calories than plain grilled fish, but not an appreciable difference unless you're doing it every day.

10-23-2011, 05:58 PM
Afternoon Coaches,
Better day today. DH, DS and I are all together for the first time in weeks - hanging out, a few chores , listening to music, reading. Terrific. Food not great yesterday - at my sister's house and over ate Mom's mac and cheese. That was always a big trigger food. Credit, ate nowhere near what I used to eat. Credit for eating enough proetein today to start getting the carbs out of my system. I am going to go full force this week getting back of the chocolate munching. No gain but not a good habit.
Valerie: Good info about fried foods. A few times a year my husband gets KFC Chicken and I just pick off the skin. It really is very tender.
BBE: This week I will join you and try to leave one bite.
Pamatga: Congrats on 50 pouns lost and kept off. That is a lot of excess weight to be free of.

10-24-2011, 01:04 AM
I didn't manage to post yesterday (book bloggers were busy with a 24 hour read-a-thon), but I hit a new low which, for the first time, took me to where the CDC says I'm normal weight instead of overweight. Yay! Bounced back over it today, but I'm taking the credit in my signature.

I'm officially declaring myself in maintenance. Which means....absolutely nothing!

For those of you who haven't kept track of my changes the last few months, it went down like this:

saw 170, my "goal" weight on June 3, but I knew then that I wanted the 2 more pounds to get me to "normal" weight
gained weight in July, August, and the first week of September to a high of 180
made what I thought were small changes, but they caused a 10 pound loss in four weeks, combined with low moods and low energy
added back a small second snack to remedy the problems and slow the loss to a more reasonable rate for this stage in the game

So, what I'm doing now is what I'll keep doing. I'm reasonably happy with it since it seems to keep my moods and energy level about where they should be without causing a gain. That recent evidence shows that eating more than what I'm currently eating will cause weight gain. Continuing with my current plan, I may lose a few more pounds, which would be good. I would love for 168 or 170 to be the red line that I don't go over.

WI: +0.25kgs, Exercise: +0 635/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

10-24-2011, 05:25 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Left some food on my plate at the restaurant last night, CREDIT moi. Thought about having some additional food later in the evening - but didn't; CREDIT moi again.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats on the new low and entrance into maintenance land, with Big Kudos for getting there by seriously working and re-working your eating plan.

maryann - Yay for taking on the "chocolate munching."

Val (va1erie) – Kudos for continuing to leave a bite. [Thanks for clarifying that removing the crust on fried fish saves the calories that I thought it did.]

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
To complete the experiment, you will need to create a Discomfort Scale to rate the level of discomfort you feel during the experiment. Do the following:
. . .
3. In your Diet Notebook, make a heading called "Hunger Experiment." Under it, write the following and read this throughout the day you do the hunger experiment.
Hunger Experiment

It's great that I'm doing this experiment. It will be so
wonderful to get over my fear of hunger once and for all.
I deserve a lot of credit for doing this.. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 78.

10-24-2011, 09:03 AM
GM and GD everyone! I apologize for not posting yesterday but after I did my "catch up" sleeping, I went into my usual Sunday routine and by the time I remembered to post, I decided instead to go to bed "early" (for me that is 11 p.m.). However, I awoken several times including loud banging outside, which finally got me up and kept me up (for the time being anyway).

I had to share this with all of you because I thought it was very "enlightening" to me anyway. I had made muffins to send to the Sunday morning breakfast Bible study (which I wasn't able to attend but was still committed to providing the breakfast food). I went ahead and made my basic organic whole wheat pastry flour muffins. These are from one of my "new favorite" diabetic cookbooks.

IMO, with most baked muffins, breads and crusts, the switch from white unrefined flour to what I use is almost undetectable to the taste. However, without even thinking about whom I was making these for, I went ahead and did the low fat (substituting unsweetened applesauce for oil) and low sugar ( 2 TB honey instead of the usual 1 cup white sugar). After I had made them I realized that I was going to be sending "diabetic" muffins to a group of people whom I wasn't sure would "go for this". Much to my astonishment, all were eaten but two!!

It brings up all kinds of thoughts for me but the main one is simply is that the argument that is often used by people who are reluctant about changing their food choices to more healthy ones based on taste and texture really do not hold up in reality. When given a healthier alternative without their knowing beforehand, people simply do not know the difference. This "experiment" was done by sheer accident but it was nice to see the empirical evidence that resulted.

gardenerjoy: thanks for sharing your personal stategy with your food plan. I am finding that I am doing the same thing to mine as well, via this present challenge I am in since it forces me to make sure that I get in one healthy fat a day (something I don't do often enough), to eat smaller meals and thereby smaller portions at one sitting, and to consciously include plain water as one of my ways of hydrating myself.

Val My goal weight is 122.2 lbs away so I am not as close as you may believe. I do believe losing 2 lbs per week at my present weight is actually quite "normal". I was not as careful as most of you here regarding my food plan either so that tells me that I can do better and that is my hope "moving forward".

In fact, the past couple of days I have been doing some reflecting on where I am at within the framework of my weight lose goals. I have decided that since I have managed to lose and "maintain" that weight lose of 50 lbs in spite of a lot of up and down with my food plan, that with careful and disciplined efforts on my part, I could lose 8-10 lbs per month from here on in and reach my goal weight sometime in November 2012.

It is something that I both want to commit to and then put into action.

maryann Congrats on getting that short story out. So where exactly is "out"? Is this part of a school project like a dissertation?

Bill GJ on identifying another area (leaving one bite behind) that you can work on.

Credit: -spending some alone time examining and reflecting on what I am doing well and areas that I need to improve on as I look forward to this next year.
-having the right frame of mind to accomplish this long held goal of mine.
-dealing with disappointment by saying "Oh well" and then getting on with things without nary a thought towards attempting to "fix my disappointment" with food. I am so beyond doing that. TYG!

I will briefly share with you the overview of that last bullet. I am hosting a Buddy Challenge. 1/3 of the people who post regularly joined it. It has been fun and I have enjoyed it this past week. However, I have gotten a few remarks from some of the people who did not join challenge that I am trying to separate the group and that I am "secretive" about what we are doing. I responded this morning by saying that first of all, everyone was invited so if they are feeling left out, that is not my fault. That is a choice they made and I respect it. The "secretive" part is simply because this is being done as part of a team competition and if any one knows anything about competitive sports you do not reveal your strategies to the other team if you have any hope of winning. Once we finish our team challenges I intend to post the results. If I posted individual results before hand, it would be discouraging to those who might feel that if they gave it one final push they could win. It would be a morale "killer".

Anyway, I am so way beyond eating over any of the "nuisances" in my life, that I just said my piece and let it be done with that. I use my mouth now for something other than eating. I am definitely no longer a people pleaser. That part of me died some time ago and I have no intention of resurrecting her either.

Report on Beck skills:
-revamping my cards to reflect my current stage in my weight lose journey. Many seem "outdated" to me (I made them in April).
-working specifically on "enriching my life" (from pink book)
-tweaking my food plan and already warming up for the November Food Accountability Challenge I have signed up for. No time like the present.


10-24-2011, 09:48 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (down .6), didn't exercise and didn't get up this morning to go to class because I had another bad night with insomnia. :( Oh, well. Maybe I can get in some spontaneous exercise today.

maryann -- credit for not eating as much as you used to eat of the mac & cheese! Re: leaving a bite -- this is a habit I try to keep up with because it requires me to notice how much I've eaten, which feels helpful in keeping me eating mindfully.

gardenerjoy -- yay for being normal weight and being in maintenance! And for realizing that maintenance means Nothing Really Changes. :) It sounds like you are tweaking your program really well to get yourself centered on your goal. I have a red line, too, and my "maintenance" plan has slowly lowered my weight over the course of five months to a point 3 - 5 pounds below that red line. To me this feels very, very good, as approaching that red line makes me anxious, and feeling anxious is a trigger for me.

BBE -- yay, you, for leaving food on the plate!

Pam -- I think you're right that with a good recipe, people won't necessarily notice that the muffin they're being offered at some event is lowfat, low calorie, more nutrient-dense. The problem I think is when people refine their own recipes to make them healthier. They know exactly what these recipes taste like, so they notice that the muffin, for instance, has a different color, a different texture, is less sweet/unctuous, rose differently, cracked differently, etc. They "miss" their old experience of THAT muffin. But if it's a muffin that's new to them, they aren't expecting that exact experience, so they can enjoy the new muffin for what it is and not "miss" the previous experience because they aren't comparing this experience to that one. I think this generalizes to all sorts of things. A coke drinker might think diet coke tastes terrible, but if they aren't used to drinking sweet tea that same person might find plain iced tea with lemon very refreshing because they aren't comparing it to their old drink. This past weekend I had a fantastic spaghetti squash casserole at the fm from a woman who was doing a cooking demo for us. After I'd raved about it, she told me she'd halved the amount of sausage in it for reasons of economy as she was serving so many. I absolutely did not detect that the casserole was less meaty than I would have expected, but she told me that to her -- she'd served this recipe many times to her family -- it felt as if there was hardly any sausage in it at all. I took the recipe and made it last night for my family, but in addition to halving the amount of sausage I also halved the amount of marinara and nearly doubled the amount of veggies...and my husband LOVED it.

Re: the 9.8 pounds per month w/re: the 122 pounds to goal. Yes, I do see that in your stats. And I think that for many months to come, you'll probably have no trouble losing that much per month and maybe even get ahead of schedule on that for several months. But as you approach goal, you may find you start to lag behind your monthly schedule, and I want to make sure you don't set this goal up in a way that is going to make you feel like you're "failing" if you don't get to goal exactly as scheduled. If next September you're still 20 pounds from goal and your losses have started to average 5 pounds per month instead of 10, I want you to feel GREAT about where you are and that you are having fantastic success. :) Losing slowly, ESPECIALLY as you approach goal, is more likely to help you achieve long-term success, so if your losses do start to slow down at some point, recognize it as a silver lining. If as you approach your goal weight you find that each month you weighed less than you did the previous month, you are a success.

10-24-2011, 10:05 AM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

I have a very busy morning with lots of decisions to make. I stuck with my plan yesterday, which included not one bite of restaurant food during my 8 hour shift yesterday. It's certainly great exercise! Perhaps I'll get back later today.

BillBlueEyes, great job leaving a bite. It is small number of calories yet a big step towards lessening our attachment to food.

Pam(atga), great that you are taking the time to reevaluate many of your goals. I agree, it often changes as we progress on our journey. Coming from a higher weight (upper 200's), I do agree that your 8-10 pounds/per month is doable.

MaryAnn, I think it's valuable to know that something is a trigger (Mac and Cheese) but to also celebrate a success that overeating it is different now than it used to be. Improvement seems to facilitate yet more improvement.

Val, thanks for asking a question of me regarding unplanned eating. I am pondering it. Sometimes my life is simple, other times it is extremely complicated. Right now it's complicated. For me, as I work BDS alongside South Beach Diet there are times when I eat On Plan with SBD, yet I call it off plan with BDS, because it was unplanned eating. For the most part it is still pretty sane. I am acknowledging that I may, in fact, need to modify my daily food if I continue working this new job because it's bumped me up to an entirely new level of activity. I need to decide FOR ME, IF, it's ok to have an extra snack in the evening when I've worked a 10 hour shift entirely on my feet without a break for lunch (which just won't happen).

10-24-2011, 12:29 PM
Hey everyone! May I join in here? I'm using this program as well and love it! I have a Pandora bracelet for every 5 lbs lost and have all my motivators and cards programmed into my phone.

Looking forward to getting to know you all! ;)


10-24-2011, 09:41 PM
Hi Everyone,

The weekend got away from me and I never even ventured near the computer. Was busy getting the yard winterized, put away the patio furniture, pulled out the sunflowers and sweet peas, sorted out the shed to fit everything in and hopefully did not bury something at the back that we'll need mid-winter! I am holding out on pulling the last of the onions and carrots from the garden. It seems to be my new hostess gift when I go to someone's house, "here, have a bag of fresh carrots and onions". No complaints yet!

I read my cards today for the first time since last week. Weight is the same, was up and down a bit over the weekend but I think it's from the Vietnamese noodle soup I had for dinner on Saturday night as I'm sure it has a high sodium content. Drinking lots of water to try and flush that out.

I've been eating mindfully and slowly, not taking seconds, I don't seem to leave a bite as I try to take a smaller serving to start with. Planned exercise was my Zumba class on Sunday and spontaneous was all the gardening I did.

Now onto some long overdue personals :)

fyreflie24 Welcome to our group!

pamatga I agree with va1erie on the muffins and someone's expectations of them. I guess I'm selfish because if I'm doing the baking or cooking it's somewhat restricted to what I would choose to eat. And a good healthy alternative to all the bad white stuff is a great thing.

BBE Thought of you on the weekend when I was making banana bread as my DH wanted walnuts in it. Not something I seem to have often in my pantry and had to make do with slivered almonds. Still quite tasty but not quite the same as the walnuts would have been.

gardenerjoy Credit for reaching maintenance and knowing that it does not give you free reign to dive back into old habits.

va1erie Good info to know on battered food like fish. Often I don't want to eat at those places because of the deep frying. I can now consider going knowing I would have a good plan in place.

Hello to everyone else :wave:

10-25-2011, 01:08 AM
Dealt with a last-minute lunch out in a reasonable fashion -- brought home half of the duck flatbread (which proved to be a duck, green grape, date, and mozzarella pizza -- better than it sounds) for tomorrow's lunch.

WI: +0.35kgs, Exercise: +35 670/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

fyreflie24: Welcome! You are off to a flying start!

10-25-2011, 06:10 AM
:welcome: Donamari (fyreflie24) :welcome:

And in honor of your first month here, :wel3fc:

How did you find out about the books by Dr. Judith Beck?

And how did you find the Beck Forum on 3 Fat Chicks?

10-25-2011, 06:24 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - CREDIT moi for completing the installation of two ceiling lights that, like most simple tasks, turned out to be more difficult than expected. As our project nears completion, I'm finding my tension level increasing, perhaps because I see the zillion small things that remain to be done. We're contemplating having a large family gathering before Thanksgiving - that will certainly be a motivator to get the furniture back in and finish up the details.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – I was surprised recently when I ordered something "flatbread" and a pizza arrived. I had no idea what to expect. Kudos for being on track with your exercise goal for the month of October.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Kudos, Kudos, Kudos for working an 8 hour shift at a restaurant without a single bite. You've certainly set the standard for yourself to be able to work there and stay your course.

pamaga – Yay for covertly introducing rational food into the food chain that might be expecting the standard confection of sugar, oil, and salt. Kudos for working on "enriching my life" - so neat that the good doctor prescribes that we bring joy into our lives as part of this process.

Tazzy - You'd be a welcome guest at my house anytime with a bag of garden fresh carrots and onions. Kudos for organizing your environment, which in your case, means your garden shed so you'll be ready to go next spring. [Yep, almonds are great, but nothing substitutes for walnuts.]

Val (va1erie) – Ouch for insomnia - may the sandman work with you tonight. Thanks for the discussion that our expectations can prevent us from experiencing a new taste. I've read posts on 3FC stating that spaghetti squash didn't taste like spaghetti at all! Well, no it doesn't, it has its own unique wonderful taste to be savored.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – Yep, join right in. Which of the Beck books are you reading?

Neat to have your reward system up and working with that Pandora bracelet. Congrats for that chunk of weight lost already. I'm glad that you've joined us.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
To complete the experiment, you will need to create a Discomfort Scale to rate the level of discomfort you feel during the experiment. Do the following:
. . .
4. If your health-care provider approves, tomorrow you will eat breakfast and dinner, but nothing in between. It's important to know that this experiment is not designed to help you reduce calories for weight loss; it's designed to get you over your fear of hunger. It's fine to drink a little water during the day if you're thirsty. Just don't try to fill up with it, or you will negate the point of the experiment.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 78.

10-25-2011, 10:49 AM
Tazzy: Thank you:) I took my first Zumba class on Sunday.... whooaahhh that was a work out!

Joy: Thank you! I’m so ready to do this.

BBE: WOW! I’m humbled :) I actually attended the Beck Institute in Philadelphia in my late 20s. I googled A Cognitive Therapy Approach to weight loss and up came Judy’s book. I didn’t work with her directly, but did meet her a few times. So since I was working with the book anyway, the beck forum jumped out at me on the main page/diet central area. I have the book with the pink cover and the matching work book (yea that helps right?).

Funny about ‘enriching your life’ conversation... I need to go back and check that out. i’m such a stress puppy about this process b/c I have a hard deadline (in my blog if you’re interested) but yes, I need to find ways to make this fun! Definite to do list material :)

Thanks for the warm welcome!

10-25-2011, 11:13 AM
My personal training session is delayed by half an hour today, so I finally have some time to jump in here. Part of the reason that I have not posted lately is my insane schedule. In addition to my normal 14-hour workdays, this past weekend was particularly ridiculous. I have no classes on Fridays, so, in theory, I had a three-day weekend. HA! Over the course of that three days, I spent 25 hours grading term papers and over 8 hours in church activities (a worship service, choir practice, and two meetings of the church elders [because we are interviewing a potential new pastor]). I also did my usual weekend activities of housecleaning, laundry, ironing, and grocery shopping. All of that hardly left time for sleep, no less rest and relaxation! I still have a bunch more papers to grade, so this week and the coming weekend will probably be just as bad as the last. But at that point midterm grading will be done, and I won't have another huge pile of stuff to grade again until the end of the semester.

But the other, main, reason I didn't post is that I was just plain too ashamed and mortified to. Last Thursday, I went on my first true, out-and-out binge since starting Nutrisystem in Feb. of 2009. It began when a friend from school took me out to dinner to belatedly celebrate my birthday. I had a 6-ounce steak (the first steak I have eaten since starting my diet), a small dish of buttered corn, a few bites of wild rice, and a small glass of wine (not exactly terrible, but way more than I would normally eat and, even more importantly, totally different from the plain chicken and veggies I had planned to eat). I was in a vulnerable emotional state anyway (which contributed to the unplanned meal), and when I got home I gave in to it totally. I ended up eating something like 12-15 Nutrisystem desserts (I stopped counting) in rapid succession and felt physically sick and stuffed afterwards, not to mention devastated at what I had done. My stomach was bloated to the point of looking like I'd swallowed a balloon, which of course reminded me of the way my belly used to look and made me feel as if I had regressed to my old self in a matter of hours.

So, the bottom line is that I was much too embarrassed to post any of this and needed to feel that I had "earned the right" to be here by getting back on track first. Silly and totally irrational, I realize; support is even more important in times of failure. But I wasn't able to ask for help when I needed it.

And, of course, in the past, the first binge always marked "the beginning of the end" of my efforts to control my weight--thus my panic and despair on Thursday night. BUT, I WAS able to challenge that particular sabotaging thought (phew!) and get right back on plan the next morning. In a way, I am actually glad that I binged, so that I could get it out of the way and show myself that it IS possible to recover immediately, even from a HUGE misstep. What I have said to myself over and over in the past few days is that a binge is a setback and a learning opportunity, not a catastrophe unless I let it be. I can't rewrite my history, but rationality can go a long way toward charting a different and better future! A setback is just a little stumble on my journey forward--the prelude to a comeback!

Through all my angst, I did resist the oh-so-strong temptation to skip the daily weigh-ins (because I KNEW I had gained). On Friday, I was up a full 2 pounds, to 130.6, my highest weight since early August. THAT certainly could have been my excuse to give either give up completely or to try to starve myself in compensation (which I have done in the past, and it always backfired), but I did neither of those things. I went right back on my normal, planned, routine. On Saturday, I was down .2. Sunday, I was down .4, yesterday I was down .4, and this morning I was down another .4, so I am almost back to where I was before my little misadventure. Since Friday morning, I have been completely on plan, ate slowly and mindfully, recorded everything I ate, stayed under 1400 calories a day, drank more water than I normally do, did my 30 minutes of alternate walking and jogging on the treadmill on two of those days, made it a point to get some spontaneous exercise, tolerated a fair amount of hunger, read my cards twice, and saved a bite of many things for my kitty. I did not post when I should have, obviously. But I have done many things right over the last few days, and I will give myself credit for that.

There are many things I want to say in response to the posts I read, but I see that now it is time for me to get ready to go to the gym for my personal training. So I will have to save my comments for later. In addition to teaching my classes today, I have about 6 hours of grading that absolutely has to be done before tomorrow morning, so I may not be able to get back on here tonight.


10-25-2011, 01:07 PM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up 1), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down and left a bite, got little exercise but I'm walking to my WW meeting this morning in just a few minutes. Contacted my diet buddy.

Debbie -- Oh, yeah, waiting tables is good exercise! Do you wear a pedometer? It would be interesting to know how many steps you're getting in!

Donamari -- Welcome!

Okay, I read your blog, and I'm going to ask some questions/make some comments you might not like very much. But as one of your diet buddies, that's part of my job. So apologies in advance; this is meant to be supportive, not critical!

About your hard deadline...I'm wondering if you're being kind of hard on yourself. To require yourself to lose 2 pounds a week and feel that even one pound over your goal at deadline would be a failure sounds a lot like perfectionism. 2 pounds a week is a LOT, especially the closer you get to goal. As I approached goal I was probably losing a half pound a week.

You probably already look so much better after having lost thirty pounds. Think about how good you will look after having lost 40, 50, 60. If you focus too much on what you still have to lose instead of what you've already lost, I'm wondering if you'll have a hard time giving yourself credit those weeks when you don't lose as much as you want. You deserve credit, even if you can't get 100% to goal by your deadline. You deserve credit even when you don't lose 2 pounds in a given week. And even if you don't get to 125 by June, you'll look better on the beach at 140 or 155 or 170 than you did at 235. You'll feel better and have more energy, too. If you weigh 150 next June, you are still a success. You still deserve credit.

Also consider the idea that this process DOES go on forever if you want to keep the weight off. If you are telling yourself that "It's just for this year," what will you tell yourself the day you get home from the beach?

Tazzy -- you can come to my house any time with your homegrown veggies! :)

gardenerjoy -- good for you for eating reasonably when you hadn't expected to go out!

Robin -- So you proved to yourself that you can recover from even a really bad binge. Yay, you! :D AND although you didn't post, you did WEIGH. YAY, YOU! AND you didn't try to 'fix' things by starving yourself but instead just got back on track. YAY YAY YAY! You ROCK!

It sounds like you're in a pretty good place as far as dissecting why you didn't post (though I do want to make sure you know that there was no need to feel embarrassed) and that you're well aware that not contacting your diet buddy is counterproductive. :) It sounds like the trigger for the entire episode was ordering steak instead of chicken? But it doesn't sound like you actually overate -- a 6-oz steak, a small dish of buttered corn, a few bites of wild rice, a small glass of wine is actually a very reasonable choice for a celebration dinner. You're ALLOWED to sometimes eat more than you usually do. THIN PEOPLE DO THIS FROM TIME TO TIME. That dinner was NOT the start of the binge. But it sounds like it was definitely the -trigger- for the binge that came afterwards. Was it that it was not what you'd planned that caused the anxiety? I'm wondering if it might be helpful to maybe do an exercise in proving to yourself that you can eat off-plan without starting a binge. For instance, sometime when you're at a restaurant and you've got a plan in mind, open the menu and order something reasonable but not what you'd planned. Eat to the point of mild fullness. Give yourself credit for ordering something reasonable and eating it in a controlled fashion and accepting the fact that yes, you've eaten more calories than you normally do and didn't follow your plan but that it's not a catastrophe to do that every once in a while. Give yourself credit for not turning it into a binge. Do you think this might be a helpful exercise?

And maybe make yourself a response card dealing specifically with the sabotaging thoughts you have when you've eaten off plan. Because I would think that we all ARE going to occasionally eat off plan. So if eating off plan is a trigger for a binge, we need to expect that the off-plan eating is going to happen and plan for it. What do you think about that?

BBE -- I totally understand the tension from getting close to the end but still seeing a gazillion things that need to be done. Do you have a punch list you can add to as you see them, then cross them out?

10-25-2011, 04:36 PM
fyreflie24:welcome2: Glad to have you aboard our Beck train. All aboard! :woohoo:

Val Wow! You are so on target with your insights. May I sit at your feet, o wise one! After reading Robin's post about the events leading up to the binge, I was scratching my head since it didn't seem totally apparent to me why the binge occurred. Well worth noting about the changes that occur as we move closer to our goal weight. Duly noted.

Robin When you posted what you ate, the first thing I was thinking of was that didn't seem like a lot of food and I certainly didn't see a typical restaurant dessert at the end of that meal. However, maybe it was the fact that you deviated from your food plan, which you mentioned, and this was the first time since 2009. Wow! If that is the case, that is incredible "willpower" (or want power, if you will). If indeed that was the first time you strayed, no wonder it set up such powerful emotions and then a binge.

I am reminded of one of the OA stories about having our first binge after doing so well on our program. It does frighten those of us who have been walking a tightrope for so long. I have come to feel that it just shows that we have "never arrived and never will" and that we are human. Be kind, loving and gentle with yourself because you deserve that.:hug:

Debbie I am hearing from other people that some jobs right now are not allowing people time for lunch or, even worst yet, to go to the bathroom. Two women in another group I post in work 11 hour shifts with no time for eating. How can that be considered a healthy way to nourish our bodies? I don't think it is at all. Is this the case with this new waitress job of yours? Please tell me this is part of your own personal plan and not one imposed on by your new employer.

My concern is that without eating for so long, it will mean you will go home and make up for the lack of food and eat more than you had planned. Often I am not hungry until I take that first bite and then I realize just how hungry I am and then I almost feel like I can't stop eating.

If the group remembers not that long ago I was eating once every 8-11 hours without eating again. It is what I would "prefer" to do because once I get busy doing something I don't like to stop for a meal or a snack. However, that doesn't mean it is healthy for me to do so. In terms of keeping my blood glucose levels even I do need to eat every 4 hours whether I feel like it or not. I am trying to "honor" my body and do that.

So, please be careful with this crazy schedule and let's hope it will be for your best, any way you can do it.

Tazzy Glad to hear how busy you are with end of the season cleaning. No, none of us would turn down fresh produce from anyone's garden. Zumba away! :dancer:

-I have been working on revising my Beck response cards. I have realized that I have learned so much about myself and my behavior towards food in general. Many things have changed or have become more clear for me. I want my cards to reflect that.
-"enriching" my life does make for more balance and it puts all of this "food stuff" in its own separate compartment. I am not my food plan. It is a part of my life. I have done a lot of things to enrich my life in the past six months and I am quite "pleased" with that: I have resumed organic gardening, I have dropped one dress size and all of the clothes in my closet fit me, I reward myself with either a cookbook or a new pair of shoes, my mind is actively engaged in reading some new books and learning more about my faith, I am helping others with their own weight lose efforts by hosting these buddy challenges, and, as a result of all of that, my moods are a lot better.

The Beck skills that I am most focused on right now are (these are my revised response cards)

-staying within my recommended calorie range.
-practicing behaviors that support doing so.

Many of the others are ones I have kept although they aren't giving me as much "trouble" as the ones I mentioned above. I have agreed to do a month long challenge that essentially means staying with my calorie range for an entire month. It reminds me of working towards the "near impossible" goal of abstinence (or sobriety) for 30 days. I probably will be white knuckling it next month but I am determined to give it my best shot. It certainly will be interesting. I am both excited and scared at the same time.


10-25-2011, 08:41 PM
Good Afternoon,

Credit for posting on these unbelievably busy days. Credit for reading my advantage card, weighing in (1 pound from ticker), filling up on protein directly when I got home, immediately changing into my workout clothes so that when I do the next round of endless errands I won't skip step class. Still tough emotionally for me. I can't seem to get on my feet. Crying jags and hopelessness. DH and I had ANOTHER talk last nite and he wants to help anyway he can but he is so busy and I am so busy and our jobs are so stressful there is not much to be done except take it hour by hour.
Pamatga: Congrats on the dress size and the goals.
Valerie: I don't know when the last time I ate mindfully was. I'll try it tomorrow.
4Everlearning: Sorry you had to travel thru so much pain. This learning seems to be a spiral and we come back and back again to our trouble spots but with this program it seems we return to the issue at a higher level of understanding. There is some peace for me in knowing that.

10-25-2011, 11:11 PM
Hello Everyone!

Just got home from my Zumba class and really worked out hard tonight. It was my instructors last class until Jan so we were really giving it our all for her. I hope I enjoy the replacement instructor as much. Still trying to get the boot camp classes booked so stay tuned on that. :exercise: I need to get another 130 minutes of exercise by Oct 31 to meet my goal.

My day yesterday was so-so. I stayed on plan right through dinner and then felt like I was still hungry. Tried to ignore it, got a headache and decided to eat something. I had a slice of banana bread and then a bowl of cereal. At that point I could have eaten more but finally said no choice and stayed away from the kitchen. I didn't even make my lunch until this morning as I didn't want any more temptations. Back on track today and putting it behind me.

Weighed today (up .4), read my cards, planned exercise, left a bite at lunch, ate slowly and mindfully and checked in with all of you. I think I'm going to go and stare at a TV screen and then head to bed. DH is out of town so I have the house to myself, at times it's good, at other times it's boring. Have a good night!

10-25-2011, 11:18 PM
Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

I am on track with my food plan practicing my Beck skills checking many off my list each day. I have a quick moment to post tonight I am waiting for a call back from Alaska and need to be prepared to discuss some business.

Robin(4EverLearning), it means alot that you shared a very painful time with us. I'm glad to hear you're back on track. It is hard to be so busy.

Pam(atga), answering your question, not eating at work is 100% my decision. There isn't time to sit down for a meal. I start at breakfast and finish after lunch. All the others snack on all kinds of foods through the entire shift but eating anything and everything on the run is not my choice anymore. I have proven through the hunger experiment that I can do it. I start with a high power green smoothie which more than carries me through. We eat dinner an hour earlier than usual when I arrive home. Knowing myself, I don't really think I'd make the best choices if I started eating there. I'm ok with my decision and it's only a few days a week. Thanks for your concern.

Take care everyone!

10-26-2011, 12:14 AM
Doing fine. That's a good thing to be doing.

WI: NC in kgs, Exercise: +30 700/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

4EverLearning: glad you're back after your misadventure. One of the biggest differences, for me, with the Beck approach is my new-found ability to get back on track. I used to find myself eating badly with no earthly idea how to get back to eating well, or eating well with no earthly idea why I would ever stop. Like an on and off switch. Now, I seem to always be aware of the possibility of making bad choices on good days and, more importantly, I can always see the precise path to get back to eating better when I'm making poor choices. I am grateful.

10-26-2011, 06:40 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Pleasant October sunshine for my walk to Trader Joe's, CREDIT moi. Remembered to leave a bite at dinner, special CREDIT moi since it was brown rice soaked in the juices of the Dover Sole and since I so rarely remember to leave a bite.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yep, "That's a good thing to be doing," LOL.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yay for using your experience from the hunger experiment to know that you can work a full shift without a meal. (No one from Alaska ever calls me, LOL.)

pamaga – It's just a remarkable place, "all of the clothes in my closet fit me" - such a joy to think of choosing clothes for some criteria other than the-only-ones-that-fit. Good luck on your 30 day journey.

maryann - Ouch for busy, busy, busy - hope you get some relief soon.

Tazzy - Good strategy there, "no choice and stayed away from the kitchen" - Kudos for that. Neat to put in an extra hard Zumba class.

Val (va1erie) – Kudos for continuing to leave a bite - from someone who's just remembered to do that himself. [Yep, I've got lists of punch lists; each morning I think about which task might be blocking what others need and go for that one - not always the one that I want to do, LOL.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Huge Kudos for getting right back on track - my take is that that's the most important skill we learn. And Kudos for feeling safe enough to acknowledge that you wandered off. Hope you find some relief from your current HEAVY, HEAVY schedule.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – Yep, finding ways to make this journey fun seems to help those of us who put life on hold "until we lose some weight." Kudos for your first Zumba class - talk about combining fun and exercise.

I, too, would encourage you to reconsider the importance of losing 2 pounds per week right up to your goal weight. My experience was that I lost 2 pounds a week for 54 pounds and then the loses tapered down for the last 27 pounds. At the end, the loses were so slow that it took me about four weeks to conclude that my body was done - I was at my final weight. In addition, around 3FC you'll find a whole bunch of folks who had to reconsider their goal weight as they learned what their bodies wanted to be. [We refer to the pink book, the workbook, and the green book, so I now just which book you're reading. I did the pink book, myself. Right now, the daily quote is coming from the green book, but you should be able to recognize that it's the same thoughts.]

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
To complete the experiment, you will need to create a Discomfort Scale to rate the level of discomfort you feel during the experiment. Do the following:
. . .
5. Carry your discomfort chart with you so that you can make note of any feelings of discomfort throughout the day. Then every hour on the hour, do the following:
Rate on your Discomfort Chart how uncomfortable the sensations of hunger are at that moment (none, mild, moderate, or severe.)
Reflect on the preceding hour and record the range of discomfort you experienced.
Make sure you are rating your discomfort from stomach hunger - not cravings, physical pain, anxiety, frustration, or other emotional distress.
Read your Response Cards.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 79.

10-26-2011, 12:10 PM
GD everyone!! Hope it is :sunny: and bright where you are at and you are "busy" in the good kind of way.

Debbie I am so relieved that you weren't working for what sounds like some "monsters" out there that I have been hearing about lately. Depending on the place that you work depends on whether it would be worth nibbling at. Plus, since we all here have spent so much time and effort to stop doing that, eating on the run, eating standing up, etc., it would seem like a step back, wouldn't it? What exactly goes into your smoothie?

Robin Hope today looks brighter for you. I am sending warm and loving thoughts your way as is everyone else here. :grouphug:

Tazzy GJ in knowing how to self-monitor even during a moment of temptation, which is one of the most difficult things to master IMO. Most people throw caution to the wind and, well, then end up someplace they wished they weren't.

maryann I am so sorry that you are still struggling. I remember times when I have been where you are at and it is tough to be in and go through. :hug: going your way.

Bill we are never quite done are we? I started leaving one bite with desserts a short while ago (I'm talking about my NSA ones) as well, which has always been tough for me, just to prove to myself that I could do it. Just that simple act can prove to be quite empowering.

Fyreflie24 I also wanted to add to Bill's comments that what is also important in how you quickly you lose weight is: the type of food plan you are following which your individual body responses to , the frequency and intensity of your physical activity and your metabolism overall.

For example: I have "discovered" that I actually do better when my daily food plan includes: fat grams at the higher end of my recommended range, my sodium level is around 2000 mg and when my fiber intake is around 35-40 grams. Finally, significantly reducing or removing all white flour/sugar and processed foods will shrink your body down before it even shows up on the scales. That "bloated" look is gone. I have also noticed that doing interval circuit workouts burns tons of calories and tones my muscles up quickly. An example would be: walking on the treadmill first warming up for 5 minutes at 1.6 mph (a slow steady walk) increasing it to 2.0 mph which is a faster clip, then going down to 1.8 mph, then speeding back up to 2.1 mph and then going back down to 1.6 mph. While your body is warm you then want to go into doing some weights and isometric exercises.

It takes a strong drive to keep this kind of intensity up but if you can you will see amazing results in a much shorter time than you would ever imagined possible. Although the scales says my weight is 251 lb I look like I weigh 220 lbs because of the above I just wrote. Psychologically, that is a "big deal", especially when you have a long haul like I do.

Well, I finished revising my response cards. I am going to share some of my "revised" Beck cards with all of you. Here is my new "Advantages of Losing Weight" card:

1)Significantly reduce or possibly eliminate major health risks.
2)Being obese will no longer "define" who I am physically.
3)Increase self-confidence which spills over into other areas of my life.
4)Finally know what it feels like to spatially move as a thin person. Again.
5)I will heal and seal that part of myself that has been wounded and broken for a very long time. I will feel whole again.

I had 10 reasons before but these seem to resonate more with me at this point in time.

-I am still sticking with my BLC recommended food plan. Starting next Tuesday, I will begin posting that since that will be the main staple of my food accountability for this month long challenge for November. The main "tweaking" I have done with my food plan, which I realized almost immediately when I did this October one was that I was not consistently including healthy fats every day in my food plan. So, Bill, as it were, I am back to including nuts as one of my healthy fat choices, in spite of previous attempts to eat them in a sane manner. I am also going to have to include at least 1 TB of olive oil when I am cooking. I have been using cooking spray for ages so I could shave off 100-120 calories but "no more"!! I do manage to eat fish 2-3x a week so that is another source of healthy fats.

As for the 5-6 meals: that was such a struggle for me. It just didn't seem "natural" to how I structure my day. However, having said that, I will try to eat 4-5 meals per day from now on. There will no "requirement" for the meal rule on the next challenge so I am free to "do my own thing". I also am going to be more cognizant of not eating carbs alone. I have been ever since I began monitoring and regulating my blood glucose since carbs alone and too many is the main reason blood sugar rises so my awareness level is keen regarding that. Again, I just need to keep striving to 'tweak" it better.

I have "discovered" that a few key elements need to be in place for me if I am going to avoid impulse (aka off plan) eating so that is something that I am going to make a high priority "must have" to counteract:
1)keeping a well-stocked "clean" kitchen at all times
2)again, breaking down some of these "one meal fits all" way I have been eating over the past summer. I still feel that there are days when it seems quite natural to me but for the most part I am going to really try to break up my meals into smaller ones.
3)Using Dr. Beck 25% rule of thumb for eating over my set calorie limit when I am faced with a situation beyond my control (she cites the combined calories of one meal and one snack when planning on how to handle special occasions, like weddings, etc.)
4)take a few additional minutes to study the menu, if unfamiliar with it, when eating out at a restaurant so I can survey the landscape and see how I can strategize my meal choices.
5) read all my response cards beforehand.

So, there has been some of my handiwork from the past couple of days.

Take care all,


10-26-2011, 03:30 PM
Hi friends... I have been 'fighting' wth that stomach ache for about ten days. Today I am feeling less sick to my stomach. I had two performances yesterday. I headed out the door with real gingerale, pepto, maloxx and crackers. Happy to say the performances went well. The past week my food has included the above mentioned food along with some bananas and noodle soup. I am so craving protein!

Wednesday is usually my 'official' count the weighin day. I have lost two pounds since last Wednesday. I had not weighed when I was feeling sick. I actually really expected to have gained. I got to change my ticker. YAY

The thought of a fresh veggie doesn't appeal to me but... I am going to go to one of my favorites - canned pumpkin puree.

I have one more performance this week on Friday. It's at an elementary school K-5. Tricky, really. A kindergardener and a fifth grader don't really like the same stories. So the ghost stories will have to be in between. I'll so some fun songs, etc.

Hoping to catch up soon. I have bought some new journals and am writing down my food today.... measuring too.

As always I appreciate your support, wisdom and kindness.

10-26-2011, 11:11 PM
Good evening!

Good day for food today, on plan, ate slowly, mindfully, no seconds, left a bite, wrote out food plan. Weighed (down 2.2 - very happy that sodium is gone!), short spontaneous walk. Had some unnecessary drama with DH tonight but credit for not even thinking that food could fix this!

Time to get organized for tomorrow.

10-26-2011, 11:35 PM
I've weighed the exact same weight for three days in a row. I don't think that's ever happened since I started weighing myself daily on this scale. It feels kind of spooky.

WI: NC in kgs, Exercise: +50 750/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

fyreflie24: I'm one of the people BillBlueEyes referred to as having changed my goal weight. When I first started at 3FC, at 241 pounds, my goal was 150 pounds. A number I've had in my head forever and a number that is right in the middle of the range for normal at my height. Seemed reasonable at the time. Then I lost 50 pounds. At 190, I had already met most of the Advantages on my list--I could get up and down off the ground with ease for gardening and photography, I looked great in a new wardrobe, my health problems were rapidly improving--and I knew that I didn't need to lose 40 more pounds to be happy, nor did I want to maintain such a low weight for the rest of my life. So, I changed my goal to 170. The last time I was at the doctor, I was about 180. He was thrilled with my weight loss and took me off my blood pressure medication. I told him I had more than ten more pounds to lose to reach "normal" weight and he confirmed my suspicion that there is no magic that happens at the boundary between "overweight" and "normal". His suggestion: choose my goal weight by how I feel.

10-27-2011, 06:09 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Made dinner out of a reception event, limiting myself to shrimp and chicken on skewers, CREDIT moi, ignoring platters of cheeses and a cake. Meant to leave a bite, but only served myself what I intended to eat.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Thanks for the story of how you changed your goal weight.

Beverlyjoy – Good grief, what a challenge to tell one story to a mixed group of K-5. Yay for canned pumpkin - I just bought six cans last week.

pamaga – Neat list of "a few key elements" to stay your course. I especially like being reminded of Beck's 25% rule of thumb for eating in situations beyond my control.

Tazzy - Congrats on that kilo gone. Super Kudos for moving through the marital tension without using food.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
Are you feeling panicky about this experiment? You are probably more afraid of hunger than you realized. Reflect on a different excessive worry you had in the past - where your fears didn't materialize - to show that just because you predicted catastrophe doesn't mean it will necessarily occur. Ever worry about a medical test or loved one who didn't show up when expected? Remember the relief you felt when everything turned out fine? It will be so freeing when you find that your fears about being hungry don't come true and you never have to worry about hunger again. It's a wonderful feeling.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 79.

10-27-2011, 08:15 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (down 1), ate slowly, mindfully, and seated and left a bite, got planned exercise, contacted my diet buddy. I'm on yet another college visit -- this one an overnight to Haverford, near Philadelphia. The dh came too, and we decided to stop in Carlisle PA on the way so Jane could see Dickinson. Last night we stopped at a gas station and Jane and the dh bought french fries and onion rings. I had one french fry: delicious. I had one onion ring (my particular favorite): not worth the calories to have another. Yay, me. Then at dinner I ate half my burger, none of the not-worth-the-calories potato salad that came with it, and two tortilla chips dipped into spinach dip that Jane had ordered. Yay, me. :) Forgot to bring my scale on this trip, which I hate. Knowing I have to get on the scale every morning really does help me stay on plan.

Pam -- OMG, please don't think me wise! I am just stumbling along here making my best guesses.

maryann -- I'm sorry you're having periods you feel hopeless. I don't know if this is helpful, but re: the endless errands and being so busy and stressed -- I have a friend who uses a sort of personal assistant service. This person does all the crap errands so that the limited time my friend does have, she can spend on herself and her family instead of running errands.

Tazzy -- Good for you for putting the off-plan eating behind you. When you tried to ignore being hungry -- how long did you ignore it, and what were you doing? I'm interested that it turned into a headache so soon after a full dinner, because of course you couldn't actually have been so hungry at that point that hunger could cause a headache. Do you think it's possible your brain could have turned the desire to eat into a "hunger headache" to give yourself an excuse to eat off plan?

Debbie -- It sounds like you have a really thoughtful plan for dealing with not being able to sit down to eat at work! What's in your smoothie?

gardenerjoy -- wait, you weigh yourself in kgs? In MISSOURI? Is that allowed? :D So I was reading your blog -- you're going to do NaNoWriMo? I've always been intrigued by the idea of this particular exercise in turning off the internal editor. I'd have to turn off literally everything I normally do during school hours as the college admissions process is going to have a stress peak on November 15th, and I probably won't get much writing time while the stressed-out teen is at home. But plenty of people who have full-time jobs do this exercise. So maybe...six or seven pages a day is a lot, but I've done more when I was on a roll. I've just never been on a roll for thirty days in a row! :) Too much tendency to revise as I go. I'll have to think about it. So I guess we probably won't be seeing much of you during November, eh?

BBE -- LOL at lists of punch lists! Oooh...and you have your critical path mapped out! You sound like me! Do you love post-its? Yay, you for making a very reasonable dinner out of a reception event.

Beverlyjoy -- Yay on being able to change the ticker! The benefit to being sick, I suppose. :/

10-27-2011, 09:21 AM
Hi Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday was a good Beck day. Once again, work was without one bite and interesting considering the woman I worked with ordered a full out omelette and pancakes and set them in a common area for several hours while we worked. I ordered a healthy omelet after shift , brought it home and split it with DH for dinner-adding a salad. I did get spontaneous exercise knocking the foot of snow off the lilacs which haven't dropped their leaves (both at my house and moms).

BillBlueEyes, I'm thinking Dover Sole might be a healthy dish to try when I come back East. Credit for working on your new habit of leaving a bite (except at receptionevents where you successfully choose only what you will eat).

Beverlyjoy, glad to hear you are feeling better and that your ticker moved down in the process. I would love to see your performance! Have fun!

Pam(atga), it is not worth it for me to nibble anymore. It's counterproductive to every goal I am working towards. I have a vita mix so my smoothie is a mix of green veggies (kale, spinach), ginger root, a chunk of beet and a fruit, usually apple or banana. After I blend I add a scoop of a special protein powder and a greens powder. It's turbocharged, for me.

gardenerjoy, interesting how that scale works. Credit for getting back on track with your daily weighing.

MaryAnn, sending you supportive thoughts whilst you continue with some very difficult times and acknowledging great credit that you're still striving to stay centered with food while practicing your learned Beck skills.

Val(va1erie), great job using your resistance skills to have just a taste of some foods which folks usually have a hard time with moderation. I noted smoothie ingredients to Pam(atga), who asked, too.

I was unable to post last night (internet) and we travelled very early this morning. We're already back on the Western Slope and a hot springs awaits. I'll remember today that my travel days don't have to be off plan, but may include an extra snack, if necessary.

10-27-2011, 11:57 AM
GD everyone!

Lexxiss That sounds like it should have a lot of the essential nutrients a person would need. I have tried smoothies in the past but I have just found that I prefer to chew my meals. I have never liked "eating on the run". As I was reading your ingredients, I was thinking about how I would combine those same foods: my "chew version" would be chopped spinach/kale with some fire roasted tomatoes added to a egg omelet, whole banana with a whole wheat pumpkin walnut muffin on the side. That would be my first meal of the day. Same nutrients and calories, more color and fiber to boot. Thanks for sharing! I also like a "back up" plan.

Beverlyjoy I think what you have is going around. I have resorted to acid reducers after not taking those for nearly 25 years. What gives? We have such an interesting group of people here. Reading to small children. The closest I come to that is my husband and I read the same book to each other and have done that for quite a few years. That way we can discuss it as we go along. It was a forerunner to books on dvds. :lol: A lot of communicators in this group.

Val and Bill It is interesting to read both of your experiences with maintenance and how you are adapting your food plan per the situations you are in. I can definitely see a much different approach but with equally satisfying end results.

gardenerjoy Thanks for sharing your experience with changing your weight. I have often heard that said from a lot of different people.

I see Bill's weight listed here and I think it sounds on the thin side. My husband is 1" taller than Bill here and yet his doctor told Paul that he should weigh around 175 lbs. My guess is that Paul has a bigger bone structure than Bill. When I met Paul he was very thin (too thin) and I think he looks the healthiest when he is 165-170 lbs. Paul weighs 195 lb right now and it is all in his "tummy" like most men his age. He eats so healthy that I told him to skip a diet and go straight for exercising more. If I could walk with him, I know he would do it on a more frequent basis.

I have already changed my goal weight once; down 5 lbs and I might even go 10 lbs less than that. Like Val, with her doctor's suggestion, I am thinking more from the perspective and practicality of when I have joint replacement surgery. Less is best. Of course, I might be saying something different as I move closer to my goal weight. There are just so many variables involved so I am going to take a 'wait and see" approach.

Tazzy One way to combat blood sugar lows(hypoglycemia), which is what I still think you are experiencing, is to have a cup of low fat or fat free milk when you have one of these headaches. It is a classic symptom. I used to get those all of the time until I got my blood sugar levels on a even keel. Once I did that, I can now 'tolerate" much longer periods between meals. The key to dealing with these blood sugar dips is to make sure that you have a healthy snack and not eat something for the quick sugar rush. The later is the most common mistake people with blood sugar issues do. I see it all the time. Milk has just enough fat in it that it releases the lactose into your blood stream at a slower pace than something like o.j. ONLY if you are feeling sweaty and shaky (which I have often enough), should you go for the immediate sugar rush. When my blood sugar gets low, besides the visible shaking of my arms, I feel like I am going to pass out and my equilibrium goes too. Once you get this taken care of you won't experience this when you miss a meal.

Starting on November 1st, when I begin the Food Accountability Challenge I am going to post my daily calories/nutrients and I am going to start posting the Beck Skills Check Off List. I was going through my computer files and found one someone from this group used to post and then I accidentally deleted it (oh, Pam!) so I made up a custom-made one I am going to use. Here it is:

Just For Today

Read response cards before first meal of the day.
Weighed today.
Stayed within recommended calorie range.
Followed my recommended food plan.
Planned next day's food plan.
Did daily spontaneous movement and planned exercise.
Avoided "slippery slopes": poor sleep, trigger foods, lack of planning.
Practiced strategies to combat sabotaging thoughts.
Work on making "enrich your life" list happen.
Review and evaluated progress on weekly weigh in day.

That summarizes what is on my response cards so that is what I have been busy doing among other things. One thing though that has me slightly baffled is when I was reviewing the Enriching your life section of the pink book. I am not really postponing anything directly because of my weight. There are a few things that I haven't been able to do but that is simply because of a lack of money. How have the rest of you handled this particular aspect of the book?

Finally, yesterday, I decided that I would block off a section of time and transfer my ongoing entries I keep regarding my diet experiences to my 3FC diet blog and, of course, the site was down. I haven't updated that for six months and I have a lot to catch up on. I'll check back later today or tomorrow.... I just don't want it to be another six months, since it will probably take me a couple of days to C/P all that I have so far.


10-27-2011, 01:09 PM
Good Morning, Coaches.
Thanks Everyone for the supportive thoughts. I feel better this morning. I made decisions I normally wouldn't have made to help my "overwhelm" . Credit for willingness to try something new. They don't sound monumental to anyone else, but to me they were huge: #1 I canceled DS piano/ violin lesson because I had to work late, I hadn't had any sleep the nite before and it is a 3.5 hour extravaganza to drive, eat and drive back. We spent the late afternoon sleeping and reading on the coach. #2 I agreed to let my husband sleep in the living room because neither of us is sleeping and he is a terrible sleeper - loud, rolling gnashing. Usually I wouldn't agree. I take it as a sign of unhealthy in the relationship. Yesterday, I just accepted it as his gift to me. #3 I spent about 20 mins cuddling DS teddy Bear - weird but it felt better. #4 I sent DH to get my glasses fixed rather than trying to fit it in myself. The sweetheart delivered them to my classroom. #5 I tried to get off my back at school and just cruise for a day enjoying the kids.
None of these things are equal to a cure for cancer but they might just save me. Today I am going to slowly prep for art in DS classroom. We are going to make corn husk dolls.
Today's plan - exercise, eat five servings of fruits and veggies, SIT DOWN WHILE I EAT.
Lexxiss: Congrats for working your program for work. I bet it feels terrific to not have to participate in unhealthy eating when all others around you do. Freeing.
Valerie: Congrats for all the restraint you showed in food behavior. I usually bring my scale everytime I travel as well. It is so helpful to be able to know if you need to adjust eating and not just guess.
BBE: Congrats on serving yourself what you need and nothing more.
Pamatga: I think the 25% rule of Beck is very helpful to me. Sometimes, I have no choice but to eat out.
gardenerjoy: very helpful explanation of setting goal weight. I adjusted mine from 145 to 150 and it has made all the difference.
Beverleyjoy: Good for you for storytelling. I do similar things but not on such a grand scale.

10-27-2011, 01:29 PM
Thank you so much everyone for all the wonderful feedback and support. I was about 140 after I lost my baby weight about 5 years ago, so we'll see where it takes us. I'm still working on figuring out what works and it's frustrating, but hey, it's worth it :)

10-27-2011, 07:28 PM
Hello, i joined 3fc a few weeks ago but never posted. My name is julie and i live in fl. I found out about the beck diet plan and bought the book. I am now at get a coach. I have written advantages response cards and wrote in my journal and quit dieting. I'm 46, I'm 5'8, I have been doing the zone diet up to this point. I have a membership at a gym and go 6 days a week until I miss one or two days then it takes weeks for me to start back again. The book showed me I'm sabotaging myself. Its so true!!! I started at 210 and I'm at 190 now. I have gained and lost at different points in my life but this time I'm really stuck. I'm prediabetic and my Dr wants me to lose this weight. She says i can turn it around. Because of my weight I have been isolating and when I get home from work I watch TV. I think I've kinda just quit living. I guess I'm waiting to lose weight to start my life over and get healthy and have energy again... If there is any coaches or somebody to point me in the right direction let me know! Hope to talk to you soon. :)

10-28-2011, 05:59 AM
:welcome: na3309 :welcome:

And, in honor of your first month here, :wel3fc:

How did you discover the books by Dr. Judith Beck?

And how did you find this Beck Forum on 3FC?

10-28-2011, 06:01 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - A long rainy day. We took DW's car to the garage and it has to stay overnight waiting for a part - Ouch. We'll spend today sharing one car as if that's deprivation. I left about half of my dinner, CREDIT moi, for a later meal. That's more that my one bite goal, LOL.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Ouch for snow on the lilacs - not supposed to happen that way. Kudos, yet again, for not getting suckered in by the prevalence of food at your work place - even if it happens to be a restaurant. [Make it out here and we'll serve you some Dover Sole - with no guarantee, however, that the fish has ever heard of England, LOL.]

pamaga – Re "Enriching your life" and money: I've had that feeling, for example, when I get an ad from National Geographic for their private jet world tour for only $69,000 per person, double occupancy. Then I remember that a couple I know with close to zero money keeps fully 'enriched' with free concerts and events. For me, it's important to kick myself out of staring at what I can't do so I'll concentrate on what's possible for me.

maryann - Kudos for taking positive steps. I just love that you spent time kuddling your DS's teddy bear.

Val (va1erie) – Yep, Kudos for your stellar performance at the gas station when French fries and onion rings appeared. [So great to see "critical path mapped out" - as if my private life was a real engineering project, LOL.]

Donamari (fyreflie24) – Yay for confronting "frustrating" and charging forth anyway.

Julie (na3309) – Congrats on those 20 pounds gone - you'll never have to see them again. You've come to the right place looking for a Diet Coach - we serve as Diet Coach (pink book) / Diet Buddy (green book) to each other on this forum by posting our daily successes and challenges. We'll all be glad to serve as yours and ask that you take that role for us.

Sounds like you're right on track for joining the ongoing "Enrich Your Lives" discussion. What works for me is to schedule events - I subscribe to concerts so the pre-paid tickets are in my hand and the events are marked on the calendar. There's lots of ways to do it; you've taken the big step of recognizing that it's something for you to do and that you can use the Beck Strategies to get yourself going. My take is that if you wait til 8pm Friday night to make up your mind, it's unlikely to happen. Glad you've joined us.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
During this experiment, you undoubtedly will feel hungry. You may feel somewhat tired, have a little trouble concentrating, or experience a mild headache. Most people report, however, that the stomach hunger they feel during this experiment is nowhere near as severe as they had imagined.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 79.

10-28-2011, 09:40 AM
Welcome Julie!! :) Good for you for taking control!!

Bill, thanks! Keep saying that... because it's still not happening, at least not yet.

10-28-2011, 11:02 AM
Gm, I dont remember how I found 3fc, im sure it was looking up diet something or other. When I got here I put the diet im on in the search and this forum came up and I read some of the posts. I had never heard of the book till that day. I read the reviews on amazon and I went out and got it. I need to get the other book and i will get it through the link so it will help 3fc.

So i post here and the group is my coach? I can do that! I really like this website too. There is a lot of heart here.

Its so funny because I am waiting the 2 weeks to start my diet and I dont want to wait that long, but when im dieting 2 weeks feels like forever and I would love to take 2 weeks off! I can do some serious damage in 2 weeks left to my own devises! I am watching what I eat and how I eat. Sitting down, chewing slowly...

Today is a new day, Ive got a coach, on to the next page!!! Lol...

10-28-2011, 11:11 AM
I was too busy last night cheering the Cards to victory to post. It could happen again, so I thought I should post now.

WI: -0.1kgs, Exercise: +35 785/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

va1erie: "wait, you weigh yourself in kgs? In MISSOURI? Is that allowed?" LOL! My husband set the scale in kgs for some program he was doing. I found it helpful when I started weighing myself daily because I have a lower emotional attachment to the number if it's in kgs than I do in pounds. So, I never asked him to change it.
NaNoWriMo is fun! It's completely an exercise in getting stuff on the page with no editing at all. I have a hard time not fixing spelling errors that Word helpfully underlines in red, but some people manage to ignore even those -- or turn that feature off. I set up a NaNoWriMo support thread on 3FC under General Chatter -- part of the NaNoWriMo culture is fueling the productivity with snacks. But we know on 3FC that's completely unnecessary, so I like to have support here.

Welcome, na3309! As BillBlueEyes says, part of the Beck program is enriching your life. I started by just setting a goal to have six adventures in a year, defining "adventure" as pretty much anything I hadn't done in the previous year or two -- visit a museum or park, take a class, take a day trip, take an overnight trip. I'm finding it remarkable how quickly that enriched my life and that, in just a year or two, it became a habit so that I don't need it as a goal anymore.

BillBlueEyes: I always read the details of that $69,000 world tour, too. It's kind of fun to think about how many adventures I could buy with the same amount of money spread over thirty years and decide that my adventures are the way to go, anyway.

10-28-2011, 01:14 PM
I just worked on a very long post--for almost two hours!!--and somehow it all went POOF. I don't have time to try to recreate it now, so will have to try again later. I just want to cry!


10-28-2011, 03:53 PM
Diet Coaches/Buddies -Made Cornhusk Dolls with DS 4th grade class. Very successful and a joy to see all kids - boys and girls playing with such simple toys. They loved it. Response back from my MFA professor: She said it was very rewarding to watch a student such as myself grow so much. Plus - last nite I took my chip at a bday meeting for 24 years. All in all a terrific day. DS is with a friend tonite at Harry Potter Festival. I will have all nite to work and relax. Hopefully this is the weekend I need to get my feet back under me.
Weight up .2 of a pound. Launched into the frosting of two bday cupcakes, moderated calories for the rest of the day to compensate. Ate five fruit and veggies. I am doubling up on exercise classes all weekend to make my monthly goal of 930 mins.

pamatga – The enriching part is easy for me. It is the resting part I struggle with. Too much here in Sunny California to do.
Donamari (fyreflie24) – Welcome
Julie (na3309) – I Found the two weeks I didn't diet critical. I have know how to diet since I was sixteen. It was my behaviors with food that were terrible. Give yourself time to adjust to new habits. It is worth the "weight". Pun intended.
BBE: I am now googling National Geographic world tour. Can't imagine farmer hubby would ever consider leaving the trees for that long.

10-28-2011, 05:56 PM
Hi friends... yesterday was a healthy day.... am grateful.

Today I did another performance for elementary school children. I am very tired - but, it was wonderfully. It went well. I told five stories and sang three songs. It's fun to pull out seasonal stories this time of the year that aren't told other times. Pam actually when I my do storytelling it's in the oral tradition of telling stories with no books or reading. Kind of like what folks used to do before TV, electronics, etc. LOL

DH and I went to dinch (dinner/lunch)afterwards at the Chinese restaurant. I had some steamed salmon and brown rice. (no sea bass available in the afternoon)

MaryAnn - I had a big smile as I read about the corn husk dolls. Glad you are having some nice birthday doings. Good for you for compensating after eating yummy frosting.

4everlasting - I hate when I lose a post too. So frustrating. Now, very often, I write my posts on my word processor. Then I can't lose it.

gardnerjoy - glad about your team! Kudo's on reading your cards.

Julie - WELCOME So glad you posted. Folks here are very helpful, kind and have much wisdom to share.

Billbe - kudo's on saving half of your meal!!

Pam - wonderful list of credits my friend!
Carry on!

Have a good one everyone.

10-28-2011, 07:39 PM
OK, let's try this again. This will be a shorter version and will be done in pieces, as breaks from grading. As implausible as it sounds, I have no word processing software on my home computer (use this computer for nothing but email and the internet), so I can't go that route.

First, my report: Weighed daily, down .4 on Wed., up .2 yesterday, up .2 today. Stayed OP, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did not contact my diet buddies for two days (literally no time; have gotten little sleep for the last few days as I work to finish the mountain of midterm grading), tolerated a fair amount of hunger, got at least a little spontaneous exercise each day, had a personal training session this morning.

Thank you so much to Val, pamatga, maryann, Lexxiss, gardenerjoy and BBE for your gentle and constructive support and facilitation of my binge episode. Pamatga, this was not the first time I have strayed from my diet, but the other times were just little missteps (typically one extra Nutrisystem dessert). This was my first outright binge. And I have stayed at 1200-1400 calories per day, very consistently and faithfully, since Feb. of 2009. So this episode, which consisted of around 2700-3000 extra calories, was of a completely different magnitude. Gardenerjoy, I so identify with your comment about an on-off switch that used to have you alternating between "eating badly with no earthly idea of how to get back to eating well, or eating well with no earthly idea why [you] would ever stop." For most of my life I described myself as "flipping a switch in my brain" in exactly the manner you described. The switch would flip, and I'd be in perfect control. The switch would flip again, and I'd be completely out of control. I never could predict when or why the switch would suddenly flip. And, like you, I am so grateful to have gained some control over that switch! Or at least I thought I had, until that binge seemed to suggest otherwise! Val, thank you for that wonderful task you suggested I work on to help me deal better with unplanned restaurant meals. And I definitely think I need to work on that issue. In fact, I would love to get to the place where you are; I so admire the way you can eat small amounts of diet-unfriendly food (like your half a burger, one french fry, and one onion ring!). I can do that and have done that, but I feel much more anxiety and trepidation about it than you do. I need to learn to trust myself more. In this particular instance, I do recognize (and did recognize at the time I ate that steak dinner) that my meal, although considerably larger than my norm, was not tremendous, and that many thin people occasionally overindulge to that degree or more. Eating the unplanned dinner (and the glass of wine undoubtedly did not help!) did, to some degree, precipitate the binge that followed, but I think it was only a small part of the cause. The real problem is that I was already feeling a lot of emotional upheaval prior to going to the restaurant, which then contributed to both the unplanned dinner and the dessert-fest that followed it when I got home.

I was going to write this part to Val privately, but decided I would just throw it out here, since you guys are such good, supportive facilitators. I think the true cause of my binge episode was anxiety about the possibility of going on a singles cruise over my semester break. Val, that does NOT mean that you are responsible in any way, shape, or form. NO NO NO. On the contrary, I was and am truly tickled at your excellent suggestion and am still very seriously considering it. But it does raise a lot of very old, only partially resolved, issues for me. Without going into a lot of gory detail, suffice it to say that I have a lot of anxiety about relationships in general, and about romantic relationships in particular. In fact, I think that those issues are at the very core of my eating history. So the anxiety raised by the thought of going on a singles cruise was what started me on the path to that binge. BUT, the fact that I was able to STOP speaks volumes to me about how much I truly have changed. In the past, I would have kept right on going, stuffing my face for weeks or months or even years in a desperate attempt to restore the protective barrier of fat that always buffered me and separated me from other people who might try to come too close. But this time I stopped that particular train before it picked up speed and became a runaway, and now I know that I can. If a similar situation ever arises again, which it probably will, I will remember this episode and know what to do. That's HUGE! So it's all good!:)

I will be back later to share another dilemma and to respond to all the wonderful posts I have read.


10-28-2011, 09:37 PM
Now, in the it's-not-all-good category, yesterday I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon who did my lumpectomy. The risk that I will get breast cancer at some point is high enough that he wants me to have a screening every SIX MONTHS. Just the thought of potentially going through the constant stress of repeated abnormal findings and biopsies is enough to send me running for the hills screaming like a banshee. I have had three biopsies and two lumpectomies in the past 18 months, and I can hardly bear the thought of going through those procedures over and over again. The surgeon also recommended that I take Tamoxifen for the next 5 years. I knew Tamoxifen was often prescribed after treatment for breast cancer, but didn't know that it is also approved for use as a breast cancer preventative. It only reduces the risks of estrogen-dependent cancers, it only reduces the risk of those cancers by about 50%, and it has some unpleasant side effects (like weight gain [groan] and hot flashes [which I already have numerous times every day]) and some potentially life-threatening side effects as well. I was curious as to how the surgeon calculated my risk (about 1 in 3 if I live to at least the age of 80), so when I got home I Googled mathematical modeling of breast cancer risk. I started out as a math major as an undergraduate, and my doctoral dissertation involved mathematical modeling (of Pavlovian conditioning), so I am capable of wading through and understanding the complex research. When the surgeon told me what he recommended, I jokingly replied that he should just lop off both my breasts and be done with it, and he laughed. But when I read all the research behind the risk calculation, and about the effects of Tamoxifen, my joking comment became not such a joke at all. Given the choice between a lifetime of likely frequent tests and procedures, the incredible stress of those procedures, and using a drug for 5 years that has some pretty objectionable side effects, with there still being a good likelihood that I'll get cancer at some point anyway, versus a major surgery that I could recover from in weeks or a few months (I could do it over a summer and have a whole summer to recover) and reduce the risk of cancer by about 98%? Seriously, the surgery looks pretty good. I even researched to see what mathematical model insurance companies use to determine at what level of risk it becomes more cost-effective for them to pay for prophylactic mastectomies rather than repeated surgeries, and I'm pretty sure I qualify, albeit minimally. So I have to think all of this through. I'm definitely caught between a rock and a hard place, not my favorite place to be.

BBL for call-outs.


10-28-2011, 10:30 PM
Hi Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

This day spiraled out of control as my list of "have to do's" increased exponentially. My desire to sit down and get back with all of you simply did not happen. We have to leave here very early tomorrow so I can make a 7am shift where I will again resist all forms of snacking.
Credit today:
~staying OP
~legitimate replanning of dinner (no time for the original)
~planned exercise (water aerobics)
~making time to drive out to the CSA farm to purchase all my veggies for the next week even though I missed Jeopardy

Take care all! I'll be back in touch as soon as I can.

10-28-2011, 10:48 PM
Hi Everyone!

Pretty good couple of days for me OP, have not been as hungry the last few days and have not eaten my calorie limit each day. I'm not going to keep eating just because the calories are available. Weight down again today -1, finally back to what my ticker says. Have not read my cards for a couple of days, I think I need to rewrite some of them now. I have to get my last 115 minutes of exercise in this weekend. My weekend Zumba classes are done and that easily filled 60 minutes. My plan is to ride my bike to the library tomorrow to return a book, I purposely drove past it tonight so I have to go back and do it. The weather is not going to be great for it, high tomorrow is forecast for 6C (about 42F), guess getting to warm won't be an issue.:D Got signed up for my boot camp class, first confirmed one is Nov 9, I'm on a wait list for Nov 5 and hope that clears so I don't have to wait as long.

va1erie I was thinking about your question of how my headache came on so quickly after eating a good dinner. I'm trying to remember if it was building through the day or not, I did have one for most of last weekend so that might have been a factor. When I look back at my tracker for that day I didn't have my normal oatmeal, yogurt and fruit for breakfast and I think that threw off my whole day. It looks like I ate a lot of the wrong carbs and not enough protein, fruits and veggies and the only thing I wanted more of was those same things like bread and cereal. I've really tried this last 3 days to get back to the fruits and veggies and have felt much better.

pamatga Thanks for the idea to try skim milk when I'm feeling a headache. I know my blood sugar dips around 10:30am and am prepared with a snack for that time. If I try the milk first without the addition of cereal it might be all I need. Big credit to you for your list of Beck tasks.

gardenerjoy I found your posting on your goal weight to be very informative. When I was deciding mine I wanted to be realistic and know that to get to an acceptable weight for me it may not be really low. I debated on putting 145 instead of 150 and the reason for that is based on the first diets I was on in my teens and I'm 49 this year so I've had lots of years doing this. I remember weighing back then, before the digital age of scales, and watching them move the big weight across the scale and wishing it would be at 125 so they could then move the little one. I never wanted it to be put at 150 to start with. So in my head if I could get to 145 and stay there comfortably (I know this is a lifetime process), that big 150 pound weight would not factor into it. Of course this is totally psychological. Right now I am really excited at the prospect of getting into the 160's!

Julie, na3309 welcome to the group :wave:

BBE Credit for only eating 1/2 your dinner and having the use of 1/2 of a car. It surprises me on how dependent we become on having 2 cars at our convenience. I have to take my car in next Friday to get the winter tires put on and have planned out my Sat on how I will take the train to my boot camp class, walk from there to get my haircut and then take the train to pick up the car. All because I want to be sure DH has his truck available in case the kids need to be transported anywhere. And I'll get a lot of extra walking in, now let's hope it's not a yucky cold snowy day. But once I have those new winter tires at least then it won't matter!

4EverLearning Robin, I know how frustrating it can be losing a post, I have found it happening a lot lately, even when I type short ones. I'm not sure if it would work on your computer but I just right-click on mine to copy it, not paste it anywhere but at least it's saved if I do get kicked out. I tend to do that a few times while writing. Maybe worth a try for you? Big credit to you for coming here to post when you are so busy with life in general. My thoughts are with you as you deal with your medical issues.

maryann I love the cool class art project you did in your DS class.

beverlyjoy I find it very enlightening that you tell your stories without the need for all the modern technology gadgets!

Have a good weekend everyone. I need to go and buy some Halloween candy for Monday but think that may happen late on Sunday. And I'm pretty sure it will be some type that I don't like!

Well glad I copied all this as once again it kicked me out!!

10-29-2011, 12:47 AM
Tazzy, I wouldn't have thought of just right-clicking to copy a post but I will definitely try that. YAY YOU for eating less than your calorie limit when not hungry, not to mention for planning to ride your bike to the library to return a book when you've already driven right past the library! I was also impressed by your previous post in which you talked about stopping yourself from unplanned eating so quickly and saying NO CHOICE, which I suspect just might be the two most powerful words in the English language!! :o

Pamatga, I'm impressed that you were a body-builder! To me that is about on a par with walking on the moon!! :D But I can certainly identify with those shoulder injuries. I loved what you said about how resolving your obsessive/compulsive issues frees up so much mental energy for more constructive pursuits. That is so true. I also really love your new advantages for losing weight--especially the one about knowing what it feels like spatially to move like a thin person (which has been such a revelation to me) and "healing and sealing that part of [yourself] that has been wounded and broken for a very long time." Amen to that. And I give you lots of credit for making such detailed and specific plans about what tasks you will work on. You appear to be really focused and committed to your recovery. Re: your plan to lose 10 pounds per month until November of next year--others have already questioned how realistic that goal may be, especially when you get close to your goal weight, and I definitely share that concern. But I would add another caution: don't focus exclusively on weight loss as a goal, because you can't always control how much weight you lose. What you CAN control is your behavior. So frame your goals in terms of healthy changes to your behaviors and mindset, and the weight will take care of itself! And finally, re: your confusion about Beck's admonition not to postpone your life "until you lose weight"--I think the fact that you can't identify with that tendency speaks volumes about your emotional health!

Val, I am impressed that you can do legitimate push-ups, since I can't even do the girlie kind very well! I hope your college visitations went well and that Jane is settling down a bit. That ED deadline of Dec. 15 will be here before you know it, and hopefully that will alleviate some of Jane's angst (and, by extension, yours).

Gardenerjoy, I love your attitude about food preparation (I would do well to emulate it). And I was intrigued by your comment about not having such a strong attachment to your weight if you measure it in kgs. I think that is very clever and smart!

Beverlyjoy, glad to hear that your stomachache is getting better and that your ghost stories went well. That sounds like fun!

fyreflie24, welcome! I smiled at your post about your Pandora bracelet, as I have a Brighton charm bracelet to which I added a new charm every time I lost 5 pounds! And, like you, I have met Judith Beck twice--once at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association this past August, and then again at the Beck Institute earlier this month when Val and I attended her diet workshop there.

Julie, welcome to you, too! I LOL at your comment about the damage you could do in two additional weeks of not dieting, but I applaud your decision to follow Beck's advice to work on the critical tasks of her program prior to starting to diet.

I think there were other things I wanted to say, and did say in the long post that disappeared into thin air, but now I can't remember them all! Now let's hope I can post this before it disappears, too! (I did do the right click thing just in case!)

Good night, everyone.....and have a great OP day tomorrow!


10-29-2011, 08:57 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi. Picked up DW's car driving much better. I stopped by a supermarket on the way home to get my strawberries because of the threatened snow today. I was so pleased with myself last night when I left about a third of my dinner at the restaurant (CREDIT moi). Thought maybe I was improving in that arena, LOL. Then went to bed at 9pm and slept until 6:30am - an unprecedented long duration for me - wearing all the warm clothes currently available to me since I felt bone cold all over. Seems that I was sickly, not enlightened; Oh Well. I'm back in the grove this morning.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats to you, Pujols, and the rest of the Cardinals for a dynamite show last night and yet another World Series Victory. Aren't you getting tired of always winning?

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Kudos for choosing the CSA farm over Jeopardy. I know about those "have to do's" growing exponentially.

Beverlyjoy – Just love reading that you're back in the saddle telling your stories. I imagine it's an eye opener for them to hear you do it without an iPad prompter.

maryann - Love the thought of Cornhusk Dolls with those big, sophisticated 10 year olds. Kudos for moderating your calories after the cupcake frosting.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Sending supportive thoughts as you weigh your options - that's some tough decisions to think through and make. Given what you've written, I'm surprised that I don't read more often about prophylactic mastectomies.

And Ouch for that lost post. After I'd done that a few times, I copy-paste into somewhere - always typing into the 3FC editor to get the bold and underline. Word works for me now, but on Windows machines I've used Notepad just fine.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – There seems to be some credibility to the notion that asserting a virtue can lead us to exhibiting it. Keep on trucking.

Julie (na3309) – Kudos for taking seriously Beck's plan that your first two weeks are spent learning the skills without the distraction of trying to lose weight. My take is that the skills are essential for staying the path - and surprisingly difficult to acknowledge that we aren't already doing them.

Yep, you post here and we're your online Diet Coaches and you ours. There are a few regular poster who have real life Diet Coaches, but over the few year's I've been here, not many. Perhaps that's a silly statement; those with real life Diet Coaches don't post here - Duh!

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
Phillip was surprised that even his worst hunger was only mildly uncomfortable and certainly tolerable. He was also very surprised to find that even when he was intensely hungry, he didn't stay hungry for a full hour. In fact, his periods of hunger usually lasted about only 10 to 15 minutes and then disappeared. They went away even more quickly when he got distracted.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 79.

10-29-2011, 10:05 AM
grrr!! I just lost all my personals and my post so happy Saturday and I'll drop by again soon. So sorry :)

10-29-2011, 11:24 AM
Sorry for being MIA while on the road! Just very busy. Report: didn't read my cards (forgot to take them), didn't weigh until this morning and was a little worried because of all the odd choices I had while traveling, but I'm at 111 which I think is where I was Wednesday when I weighed. Visited Dickinson Wednesday (Jane liked it a lot), had half a burger and about 1/4 of a beer at a local pub, then drove to Philly and dropped Jane off for her overnight at Haverford. Got some exercise as the dh and I walked to a little Chinese place (Chun Hing in Bala Cynwyd, I recommend it) 3/4 mile from the hotel. It had come highly recommended. I ordered shrimp in tomato sauce which I think probably had a lot more oil in it than I'd expected, but it was delicious. Skipped the rice, even skipped the fortune cookie, but I did eat a few of the little fried wonton-wrapper apps they'd brought gratis, should have just sent those back as soon as they appeared on the table. By the time we started walking back the temps had dropped 20 degrees and it was raining steadily, so we had a warmer (two actually) in the bar back at the hotel while watching game six of the World Series but skipped the bar snacks which were being steadily consumed in a stealthy way by a very overweight woman sitting next to me. Every time her companion got distracted or left the room, she'd scoop out and gobble down a handful. It made me very sad for her. Then yesterday I got zero exercise as we were in the car for 9 hours, breakfast in the hotel of scrambled egg whites and a piece of rye toast, skipped the potatoes, stopped for lunch at a fantastic little place called The Green Harvest in Bedford PA (highly recommend) where I ordered a sandwich that turned out to be much higher in probable calories than I'd expected. At half, had unsweetened tea, ate a couple sun chips for no reason other than the fact they were there and I hadn't expected them; I don't even LIKE sun chips. Stupid, but I moved on. Back late last night, ate the other half of the sandwich. So not an over-horrible eating few days, but I was expecting to be up a bit with the higher-than-normal-calories-choices and the not-weighing-daily, so I'm surprised I wasn't. One more overnight visit next weekend (Bowdoin, in Brunswick ME) and then I think we're done until at least January.

Debbie -- Your smoothie sounds intriguing! Is everything raw? Do you put this into a regular blender? (I'm wondering about the chunk of beet and ginger in my blender!)

Pam -- I never really got into the 'enriching your life' section of the book. I don't really know if I was putting things off until I lost weight -- I don't feel like I really did that. I walked less when I was heavier.

maryann -- yeesh, 3.5 hours is a long haul for music lessons! Good for you for agreeing to let your dh sleep elsewhere so you could get a good night's sleep. I don't think it's a sign of unhealthiness in the relationship. My dh and I sleep separately occasionally, usually for various reasons to do with one or the other of us getting a good night's sleep, and our relationship has always been very good. It was 22 years last month. I smiled at you cuddling your DS' teddy bear. Maybe it smells like him? The first year my daughter went to sleep away camp I slept with her pillow. :) Good for you for being kind to yourself while you're feeling stressed.

Donamari -- It's definitely worth it! So do you want to talk about which book you're working on and where you are in it?

Julie -- welcome! We'll be happy to be your coaches, and you can be ours. It's important to commit to posting every day. Wow, I'm so impressed that you quit dieting! I bet not many people who pick up Beck after they've already started dieting can say that! Hooray that you have time to turn your prediabetes around -- from the things you are saying, it sounds like Beck will have a lot of things that will ring true for you. Where exactly are you in which book? Give yourself lots of credit for not "doing a lot of damage" while you wait to start dieting but instead watching what and how you eat. That's a GREAT start, and a really sane way to approach losing weight.

BBE -- so true that we can enrich our lives without spending a lot. Running the farmers' market enriches my life.

gardenerjoy -- Wow, I LOVE the idea of less emotional attachment to the weight when it isn't in pounds! I may start doing that!

Robin - so glad to see you. Bummer on the post -- I hate that. Hm, on getting to being able to eat half a burger. How did I get to that place? I'm not actually sure. I've recognized for a long, long time that a "portion" simply =can't= be correct for both a very small woman AND a large man, and yet in restaurants we both get served the same amount. As I've aged I've thought even more about that -- the idea that a small 50-year-old woman needs even LESS than a large YOUNG man. And as you know I love to try new foods. So maybe it's just that I've had a lot of practice from probably the age of 17 of sitting there with my Tab and half a delicious-looking burger left on my plate but thinking, "There's no way I should eat the same as (whatever boyfriend who was then finishing off his burger, fries and shake and starting in on my leftovers.)" Wow, I'm so sorry you felt so anxious over the idea of the singles cruise! (No, don't worry, I know it's not my fault -- I just feel concern for you.) I can understand how that might raise a lot of old issues on any number of levels. Major credit to you for recognizing what was happening and stopping, even after you'd gone so far you probably felt as if you might not be able to stop. But you DID! YAY YOU! And yay you for recognizing THAT for what it is: NOW YOU KNOW YOU CAN! THAT'S almost worth the 3000 calories! :D

The ED deadline is actually Nov 15 (should hear back by Dec 15) and this coming weekend she's going to make her final decision on going ED to what she right now believes is her first choice school. And, yes, I can't wait, tho if she doesn't get in it'll be a pretty crappy wait for April! :)

Oh, ai yi yi on the followup. Okay, screenings are no big deal, but the Tamoxifen...I think you need to get a second opinion, and preferably from someone who HAS done prophylactic mastectomies.

Beverlyjoy -- Wow, your performances sound wonderful! Do you have any up on youtube or anything?

Tazzy -- Okay, so your headache was probably from eating incorrectly rather than being actually hungry? I just want you to recognize that, because your solution to this headache was to eat a slice of banana bread and a bowl of cereal. I'm wondering if you were having a sabotaging thought that a slice of banana bread and a bowl of cereal were going to cure the headache when really it was foods like those that probably caused it?

10-29-2011, 12:39 PM
Tazzy:Terrific Idea to buy candy you don't like. It really helps so much in the struggle. A few of the gals on site Beverleyjoy, Gardenerjoy and Lexxiss taught me other good tricks like throw food away and put SOAP in it so I wouldn't pick it out of the trash or put salt in it or ,one that works surprisingly well, put it in a brown paper bag, stapled in the back of the frig.
Robin: Ouch for the lost post. I like the idea of the Brighton bracelet. I love their stuff and it serves as a powerful tribute to your success.
Valerie: Congrats on the weightloss and the awareness of eating pitfalls all around you. I must say I am jealous of your travels around the East Coast. I am California born and bred. It takes hours just to get to Nevada and hours to get from there to another state. My first real experience back East was this summer at Goddard in Vermont. I passed through about six states in about 3 hours. Terrific. I hope to explore more this next couple of years while I'm i n school.
BBE: Sorry for the sick. It still counts leaving the extra food. I have often cleared a plate with a temp of 103!
Yesterday was a fine day. Did a little work, did some household business, took a nap. DS and I are on our own this weekend as DH tries to get the nuts in. I just want to enjoy down time with DS and putter. Weight 2 pound from ticker which is normal for TOM. I am sloppy with my food. I readily admit it. I am maintaining by adjusting calories to compensate for all the carbs I am eating and that means fruits and veggies are going out the window. I seem unwilling to stick to a food plan right now so I am taking a different approach. Five fruits and veggies today. Eat only!!!! sitting down. I have double exercise class planned to catch up on mins.
Have a good weekend.

10-29-2011, 02:22 PM
Ok going to try this again!

Tazzy: I feel the exact same way! I don’t want to eat when I’m not hungry b/c that’s kinda how I got into this predicament to begin with! Good for you!

Bill: I was raised by depression babies so that whole concept of cleaning your plate was very ingrained into me as a kid, so kudos! I know how hard that can be, though I keep reminding myself how much I enjoy yummy left overs the next day!

I actually have a coach, my sister who is a cognitive therapist. She also has a ton of knowledge about health and nutrition as well so a great resource!

4Everlearning: Thank you for the reminder about non-weight/scale related goals. I’m SO bad about that!! My husband just bought me an out of this world, amazing bead for my bracelet... if that dang scale starts moving again! Oh wait, what did I just write about non-scale goals LOL. I’m originally from Philly, mIss the resource of Beck Institute.

Julie: Congrats on doing the upfront work!

Va1erie: OMG you’re making me so homesick LOL!

Pam: I need to look at that enriching your life part of the book. That’s me to a fault; postponing until I lose the weight. Very pertinent conversation!

My biggest roadblock here is dancing. I am a trained dancer and just despise the way I look trying to do even ballroom stuff at my current weight. I think I look ridiculous. But I love it, deeply. I started taking Zumba classes so that’s a step in the right direction, but that’s pain avoidance lol! I’d rather jump around like a dork than run cardio machines. Lots of work to do in this area.

Maryann: Credit is hard for me too; thanks for being an inspiration!

Va1erie asked where I was in the book etc so here’s a quick update. I’m on Day 13 of the pink book but I took a bit of a break. I wanted to digest to this far. I’m doing my cards (all programed into my phone so they’re always with me) and I have the workbook. I think I’m ready to start charging ahead again. I’ve been very motivated and staying on plan with either amazing or frustrating results. That’s me, all or nothing girl lol!!

10-29-2011, 04:27 PM
Gm or everyone, You are right my life doesn't need to stop just because I have gained weight. I have a lot of social anxiety thin or fat. I have read all the posts and I can identify with a lot of you. I think I may be emotionally eating. I think it is my way of hiding and making myself unattractive to others to avoid possible pain and rejection. I have hidden behind prescription drugs and alcohol for most of my adult life. That quit working a long time ago. I am now in recovery and have 2 1/2 yrs clean. I don't want food to be my new drug of choice. But it just may be becoming that whether I want it or not. That is why I'm so grateful to have found this website and beck. I have been married for 25 years but separated for 9. Talk about codependency! I want a better life for me, I want love, but I seem to do the very things that probably block it. Like isolating, getting fat etc...Time to make some real changes in my life. Even tho I don't do well with them I still try. My way is obviously not working for me. Just sharing this much about myself is a little bit uncomfortable.

So anyway, i still need to get the next chapter in beck done and I will get back with you then.

Oh and i'm still sitting and eating slowly. Its kinda hard to do. You would think that it would be easy! Giving myself credit!
Bye for now,
Julie b

10-29-2011, 08:31 PM
Hi Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Our travel was uneventful this morning although quite dark. Lots of exercise at work and ample opportunity for strengthening my resistance muscle. *credit* again for not one bite during an 8 hour shift. I can have a meal so today I brought a thinly sliced ham sandwich on rye bread home. I'll add RF swiss and grill it, make a nice salad and DH and I will split it. Easy and OP. Tomorrow will be cleaning at both mom's and our house as we prepare for the arrival of my sister.

10-29-2011, 11:48 PM
Hi friends/coaches/beckies... yesterday went pretty well. My stomach is still not right. Today I am back to gingerale, crackers, toast & jelly, banana's & I did have some cheese for protein. Hopefully, it will calm down soon.

Friday night I fell asleep in the easy chair at 6:30 pm!!! I slept till about 2am. Later, I fell back to sleep about 4am. I was really tired.

Tomorrow morning my college roomate is stopping by while she is in town. We've been friends for 40 years..... kind of amazing. I get to see her once in a while when I visit my sister in California. I'll make some coffee, put out some fruit and bagels. I can have a half of a bagel for two starch exchanges..

Ack - I didn't use my word proscessor and lost the personals. I didn't follow my own advice of using my word processor. oh well... my fault for not using it.

Good night friends.

10-30-2011, 12:22 AM
my report: weight was up .6 this morning (not sure why; didn't overeat at all), stayed OP, ate slowly and mindfully, made sure my kitty got a bite of everything, did not read my cards, did spontaneous but no planned exercise.

Julie, you will find lots of good company here! You are certainly not alone in your social anxiety; nor are you the first to use unhealthy and self-sabotaging strategies for coping with it.

fyreflie24, if you love dancing so deeply, DO IT!!! Just DO IT!! Be proud of being able to move your body in such a beautiful and expressive way. Honor yourself by doing what really makes you feel alive. Treating yourself well in that way can generalize to, and motivate, treating yourself well in other ways--and that can only help your dieting efforts!

Val, so basically you are saying that you figured out long ago that it didn't make sense for a small female to be eating the same portion sizes as a large male. That is just so darned RATIONAL!!! LOL!! We would all do well to be that rational!

Hope everyone has a lovely, relaxing OP Sunday. Mine will be more productive than relaxing, or at least it had better be--still have a bunch of projects to grade.


10-30-2011, 12:52 AM
Yay for the Cardinals! That was quite a ride. Spontaneous exercise yesterday was jumping up and down. Snack calories went for a bit of bubbly! Credit for enjoying every sip!

WI: +0.3kgs, Exercise: +90 875/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

4EverLearning: That's a tough call, Robin. Good for you for working it out for yourself and deciding what risks make sense to you.

10-30-2011, 06:13 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Well, I'm not exactly back in the grove; I spent most of the day in bed avoiding the world, staying warm. Food was about at half plan - a sure sign that all's not right in this world.

We've got some snow out there now, but I've got power and don't see any tree limbs down. Wet snow on trees with leaves challenges the system.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – LOL at "Spontaneous exercise yesterday was jumping up and down" - I can well imagine. Kudos for getting in your 90 minutes of planned exercise.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Continues to blow my mind that you've done another 8 hour shift without taking one single bite; Kudos, Kudos, Kudos.

Beverlyjoy – Ouch for some serious tired - I know about that. That's one lean diet you're describing.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Love your advice, "DO IT!!! Just DO IT!!" Can use this in several places myself.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – Ouch for the lost personals - that's a bummer. Yep, "either amazing or frustrating results" - it just doesn't go in a predictable straight line.

Julie (na3309) – Neat to so clearly see the overview of your life, yet to be so aware that this program is about small strategies, today, per, "still sitting and eating slowly." It's amazing how the small tasks build up to grand results.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
During the experiment, if you experience substantial discomfort, it's probably not from true physical hunger. Make sure you are rating your hunger discomfort and not your craving or negative emotions. For example, during the experiment or at other times, you may experience the discomfort of anxiety if you have such sabotaging thoughts as, Something bad will happen to me if I don't eat. You may feel tense and frustrated if you think, I can't believe I can't eat whenever I want to. It's important to recognize sabotaging thoughts such as these and to respond effectively to them. When you train yourself to think differently about hunger, you will actually feel proud of yourself for experiencing hunger and yet waiting for the next scheduled meal or snack.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 79.

10-30-2011, 12:15 PM
Julie: All the best! You've had a road and good for you for being honest with yourself by recognizing your areas for growth and doing something! It's not easy AT ALL!!

Robin: Remember the film When Harry Met Sally? "You're right, you're right , I KNOW you're right!". :) You are.

Bill: But I want a straight line! I FAST straight line! Wahh LOL! As my son's kindergarten teacher used to say, "it's nice to want things" LOL

Beverly: Have a great visit!

Debbie: great packing your lunch!

So my credit is that I went to a lovely restaurant with a friend last night for a beautiful dinner, was thrilled with what I hate and didn't gain weight! We had mussels and then a salad and I had a linguini with seafood and some wine. Was very sparse with daily calories and watched the pasta consumption. Had sorbet as desert... so a full happy meal that evidently worked! Yay me :)

10-30-2011, 01:06 PM
Diet Coaches,
Up too early this morning - 4 am. Yesterday I ate five fruits and veggies but did not sit down and eat everything. I was, however, better. Weight the same. 105 mins of exercise, plan for the same today. DS is looking forward to Halloween. We will walk in the park today and read some.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – congrats on the baseball triumph. We had that kind of jubilation going on here in the Bay Area last year.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – congrats on your continued restraint at work. I know I tend to eat less at work because I am busy every minute.

Beverlyjoy – Cheer for seeing an old college friend. I see my buddies often and they are precious. They are my life's memory keeper.

Robin (4EverLearning) - good luck on the grading. It can sure be tiresome.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – How wonderful that you are a dancer. I was a swimmer , an ocean swimmer. I could swim out beyond the breakers and stay for hours. Then I stopped allowing myself to go to the beach when I got over 200 pounds. It took years of healing and work to realize - I just wasn't that important. Nobody thinks about me that much - a quick judgment, a quick sneer and then they are back thinking about themselves again. I was giving up something I love so dearly for nothing. You should dance!

Julie (na3309) – as you said in your post, this is your next step. There is freedom to be found here. It is scary and uncomfortable without food - just like it was scary an uncomfortable without mind altering substances but it is possible and it is wonderful to be at peace. Congrats on 2.5 years. I just took my 24 yr sobriety chip on Thursday. What do they say in the meetings "This program doesn't promise you get to heaven, it only promises to open up the gates of ****." That is true for me because food was my first and final addiction.

10-30-2011, 04:08 PM
MY new chapter is on dealing with snacks that people bring to work and leave out for others and cleaning out the junk food in the house constructively. I have a great roommate and a 19 yr old son living with me. My roommate loves his chips but he will be easy to ask if he wouldn't mind putting up his snacks. My son though may be a little harder but It should be ok. Work is not a problem either. I am remodeling houses with my husband. This homework is an easy one. But im not gonna take it lightly.

I went out for a few hours last night and on my way home I stopped at walmart. I was thinking I might get a snack because im not dieting yet. I was over in the bakery section looking around and nothing really called out to me. I was thinking as soon as these foods are off limits I would be craving all of them. I think that has a lot to do with this lesson. I may not want my roommates chps today but I probably will when I start my diet again. Im gonna do a little journaling, and make some response cards.

Thank you everybody for your support.

Maryanne, thanks for being here. My first year while I was packing on the pounds I was told not to diet. I understand it now! :) My second year I was suffering from terminal I dieted on and off not very successfully tho, but my weight kinda leveled off. I think I got up to 220 for a while but thank god i didn't go even higher. This year I realized my life is manageable for the first time in a long time, I have choices, there is peace. Life still shows up and I stomp around for a while but I dont use. But see I think I eat now. I have a friend who says you cant be pulled over for fat No but this is unhealthy and my energy suffers, my self esteem suffers...So here I am.

Bye for now,

10-30-2011, 08:08 PM
Hi Everyone,

Weekend has been good so far and I only have 20 minutes of exercise to get to my goal of 930 minutes for October. I ended up riding to the library today and home a really long way around so I could extend the time. Got in 75 minutes and it felt like I had sweated as much at Zumba but that could be from the heavy back pack I was wearing.

Food has been good, last night I wanted chocolate but decided on grapes instead. Credit for not giving into the craving. Went to Costco today and walked past every single sample table. Nothing even interested me remotely. Went to the Bulk Barn store for a couple things for DH & DS's and came out with only the 4 things I went in for. And I finally bought the Halloween candy about 1 hour ago and decided there was no need for any mini chocolate bars in this house. Got the small twizzlers and nibs instead and when I saw the calorie count for each size package I won't be too worried about dipping into them.

Need to go and clean the last of the garden vegetables I picked today. The garden is now officially done for the season. :( I have mixed feelings about it, happy that the work is all done but sad that now I have to buy these things at the store and they are not going to taste nearly as good.

Tasks for the day, read cards, weighed (up .4), exercised - both planned and spontaneous, ate slowly, mindfully and so far have followed my plan.


10-30-2011, 09:39 PM
Taking a break from grading. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now....and once this pile of projects is done, there will be no more major grading to do until finals. Phew. It sure does get tedious sometimes.

my report: weight was unchanged this morning, stayed OP today, read my cards, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mostly mindfully (except when my mind drifted to that pile of grading I still need to finish tonight), got no exercise.

I had one very nice experience this morning. I sing in my church choir, which is very small. (Today there were only 6 of us.) I've been in the choir for many years, and I absolutely LOVE to sing. One of the unanticipated benefits of my weight loss, or perhaps of exercising, is that my singing has greatly improved, which I attribute to being able to breathe so much more deeply, and also to gaining confidence in myself. My voice is much stronger, rarely goes flat, and my range is much greater. The choir director told me today that she has never heard me sing as beautifully as I have lately, and so she is going to have me sing a SOLO sometime during Advent. ACK on that part (can you say performance anxiety??), but the nice part was the compliment behind it!

Tazzy, WOW, so much to give you credit for in just one day: substituting grapes for chocolate, breezing through Costco without being tempted by food samples, sticking to your planned shopping list in Bulk Barn, and not buying those mini chocolates for Halloween! You go, girl!! Sadly, I now live in a place where there are no trick-or-treaters whatsover (I live in a condo development where most of the residents are retired, and we are so isolated that no one would ever come here from out of the neighborhood). But it used to be easy for me to resist the temptation to eat all of the Halloween candy I bought. I DESPISE nuts of all kinds, so all I had to do was buy candy that had nuts in it, and there was no way I would touch it!

Julie, don't worry, Beck has several tasks for dealing with those cravings you are anticipating will pop up as soon as you begin dieting. And good for you for not buying a treat at Wal-Mart, which you could so easily have justified by telling yourself that you "had better have your treats now, because you won't be able to anymore when you start dieting." See, you are already learning to talk back to that kind of sabotaging thinking!

fyreflie24, oh, yes, I do remember When Harry Met Sally! It's one of my all-time favorite movies!

Maryann, congratulations on that 24 year sobriety chip! That is a huge accomplishment that represents an amazing commitment you have made to yourself. And I was touched by your story of how you had given up swimming when you gained weight but then realized that you'd denied yourself that pleasure for nothing. You are absolutely right when you say that, if anyone notices at all, they very quickly get distracted by their own self-centeredness! Recognizing that we are NOT the center of the universe, and that the whole world is not poised and ready to scrutinize us and find us wanting, is SUCH an empowering and freeing discovery. Good for you!

OK, back to that grading I go. Blech. Maybe I should try the stair-step method. But, unfortunately, I live in a one-story condo!


10-30-2011, 11:28 PM
Didn't write a plan today, but ate well anyway. I'm pleased that I can do that once in awhile.

WI: +0.2kgs, Exercise: +55 930/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

BillBlueEyes: sending healing vibes and warm thoughts your way (the warm thoughts are to melt the snow, so that it will be gone before you have to deal with it).

10-31-2011, 05:36 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Lowest eating volume day in my life - given that I spent the day in bed under the covers avoiding the world. Apparently, my body fights off a low grade something with a mild fever, desire to sleep, and lack of desire to eat. I suppose I just did the Hunger is Not an Emergency experiment since I skipped lunch, but it's hard to take credit since I wasn't hungry and had skipped breakfast and the previous dinner also, LOL.

Hoping that the sudden cold and snow doesn't deter the trick-or-treaters tonight. We get the precious set around 5:30 - usually with two parents and two grandparents in tow, LOL.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – So neat to eat well despite the lack of a plan. Are you guys done celebrating yet?

maryann - 105 minutes 'slota exercise - Kudos. Have a good Halloween with your DS.

Tazzy - Skipping the samples at Costco is BIG, Kudos. For whatever reason, that one was hard for me until I finally convinced myself that I didn't need them. Goodbye faithful garden - sleep well till spring.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Lovely story, lovely compliment to your singing. Kudos for accepting it graciously and realizing that it is true.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – Kudos for having a splendid dinner while staying your path - that's quite a place to be. I gotta remember, "it's nice to want things."

Julie (na3309) – Neat to take seriously the cleaning out of the extraneous foods. Kudos for skipping bakery treats at Wal-Mart - goodness knows they make them attractive enough.

Readers - chapter 4 Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating
experiment 2 Prove to yourself that hunger isn't an emergency.
what to do . . .
You may need to skip lunch on several other days in the coming weeks to convince yourself that hunger is not an emergency. Each time you successfully repeat this experiment, you will become more and more certain that you can tolerate hunger.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pgs 79-80.

10-31-2011, 06:53 AM
Hi Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday's craziness lead to an unplanned snack in the afternoon. Instead of using it as a jumping off point I modified my dinner and ate less. Exercise was cleaning house for hours. I had the opportunity to reflect and be grateful for just how far I've come as I stood on countertops to wash windows-climbing up and down like it was no big deal. Credit moi.

I've been slacking on my duties as a coach here. My new work schedule has thrown a loop in my posting abilities yet I know I'll incorporate everything and will return to smooth sailing. Thx for being here everyone. Together we make a great team and I credit BDS for my ability to stay the course through thick and thin.

BillBlueEyes, sorry you've been under the weather for a few days now. Credit for taking care of yourself and being here for others, too.

gardenerjoy, yay for a sane food day accomplished without a written plan.

Robin(4EverLearning), it's so interesting how many things change when we lose weight. What a nice compliment on your singing with the added bonus of a solo during Advent.

Tazzy, yay for setting and exercise goal for October and being so close to meeting it! GJ at Costco, too. I used to live for the free samples now I enjoy being able to resist them.

Julie(na3309), a belated :welcome2: to our Beck thread. I'm another one in recovery here. When maryann shared her sobriety date last year it was really comforting to me to know I was not alone. I gained during my drinking years and feel just spectacular these days. Credit for taking the step to clean the junk food out of your reach. My DH is a continual snacker and I have isolated all his stuff to a cupboard I resolve to stay out of.

maryann, thanks for sharing your swimming story. It's such an important reminder for me of being true to ourselves. Credit for lots of exercise yesterday and spending time with DS.

Donamarie(fyreflie24), yay for a great Beck day as you made good restaurant choices and manipulated your daily calories to fit it all in.

Beverlyjoy, sory to hear your tummy is still not right. I hope your visit with your college roommate was fun.

Val(va1erie), great job being mindful while traveling. Reading your post reminded me just how many pop up choices one needs to make whil on the road. BTW-everything in my smoothie is raw. I've had a vitamix for a year now (Costco) and it is, for me, the very best addition I have made during my WL. I take it even when I travel for a few days and I smile every morning when I make my breakfast. My take is that very small pieces of ginger/beet might work in the blender. You'd just have to try.

Pam(atga), sending supportive thoughts as you start your new challenge tomorrow. GJ preparing and I like your "Just For Today" check off list.

Take care everyone! I waitress today and tomorrow and I'm so grateful to be able to have a physical body today which allows me to do it. I do credit BDS for giving me tools to resist and credit myself for choosing to use them.


10-31-2011, 09:30 AM
Julie: You know, when I got to a place of saying, not that I ‘can’t’ have something but that I don’t want it because it will derail my efforts or set me back and that consequence wasn’t worth it to me... the easier it was to say no. I also tell myself that, once I’m at my goal wait, I’ll be able to incorporate foods I love back into my life, just in a more healthy, moderate way. I also look for alternatives. Example, I went to dinner with a dear friend on Saturday and really wanted something sweet after dinner. So instead of a high calorie treat, I had sorbet. It satisfied the sweet tooth & didn’t derail my diet. In fact, I ate pasta and foods I loved that night, I just watched the portions and ate light that day so that was a huge success for me! Anyway, not trying to lecture, just some thoughts about how this journey has been different for the better.

Tazzy: Yay grapes for chocolate! I love being at the point where I just don’t want it. So liberating! Great on the exercise goal!

Robin: What grade/subject do you teach? Awesome about your expanded vocal abilities! I wish I could sing; my mother was an opera singer so I find it very unjust she didn’t pass some of that on along lol! Kudos on the solo!!!

Lexxiss: Great flexibility in adjusting your plan! I also find it amazing to rediscover how things get easier as the weight comes off; thanks for the reminder!

Bill: Feel better!

Happy Halloween!! I love Halloween, and my 7 year old is off with me today and totally over the moon excited!

My quick report is that, despite my best efforts, the scale really isn’t moving. I had some water retention, that went away but as of today, I’m exactly where I was last week. I know the weight gains on the scale can’t be ‘real’ because I simply haven’t eaten that much, plus with the amount of exercise I was doing, I was sporting a healthy calorie deficit. That said, I’m down 10 lbs this week, mostly in 3 weeks so I’m hoping my body is just catching it’s breath before the next round of drops. Sooner would be nice please!!!

10-31-2011, 09:44 AM
report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up 1.6), eating wasn't great. Another bad day for my DD, and I ate a large number of crackers with brie when I wasn't even hungry. Didn't get up to go to class this morning. Got to bed very late with DD after supervising her homework extremely closely, took two Advil PM, and didn't even set my alarm. I just wanted to get a good night's sleep. I am moving on this morning.

No energy for callouts, sorry, but I did read everyone's posts.

10-31-2011, 02:36 PM
:haphal: Glad to be back posting after a weekend reprieve. In the interest of "enriching" my life, it meant more time spent away from this computer than I had anticipated. I got caught up with reading everyone's posts since I have went MIA (a few days). :welcome: na3309 (Julie). We are glad to add another person to our Beck Diet Group here. I have been posting on this group since February of this year.

Well, my avatar today is a pix of my great niece Sadie Catherine. I bought this bumblebee costume when I saw it and just had to " have it" and all I requested was that I receive a photo of her in it (since I live 986 miles from her) and her mommy, my niece Amy, obliged me with several. I was concerned that Sadie wouldn't "go for" the headband with the two yellow pom pom antennas but she both liked it for the picture and then I guess when she was at her Halloween party at daycare she wanted to wear them again.

At 7 a.m. this morning her little brother, Jude Paul, was born by C-section. He was 7 lb 20 oz. Already he has two "operating modes": he either wants to be fed and when he isn't he is screaming bloody murder. For the rest of his natural born life he will have to share this birthday with all the trick n treaters. The teen years will definitely be a challenge, I'm sure.

Bill I'm so sorry that you are both sick and dealing with a lot of extra and early snow. I saw that the NE was going to get hit and I thought that when you get snow in the North, it has a tendency to hang around. I have a feeling you might get a white Thanksgiving as well. Hope you are feeling up to snuff soon.

gardenerjoy :congrat: on the World Series win. I was rooting for the Cardinals since they are just a great team anyway. I did manage to watch the final game in its entirety while doing laundry.

Tazzy I have discovered that I really can't deviate from a healthy food plan anymore and I haven't been able to for close to 18 months. I still suspect that as my blood glucose became an "issue" healthier eating was no longer an option but mandatory. I feel better physically when I eat a balanced food plan. I have for over a year. I am grateful that I discovered my blood glucose issues early on (I too was pre-diabetic, Julie) because diet and exercise are so instrumental in controling blood glucose at that point. It means the system is easily fixed and doesn't take much tweaking to get it back to normal "homeostatis".

Robin Wow! You really have been hit with some real life or a better life kinds of choices. I so admire how you decided to use your problem-solving skills to weigh the pros and cons. I have also been faced with the choice of taking much stronger medicines for arthritis which are just plain scary when they list the very serious and potentially life-threatening side effects (like getting several types of cancers). I have decided that I will try anything but those prescription medicines first. IF I have absolutely no other choice then I will resort to taking those kinds of medicines but I want to make sure I have left no stone unturned first before I do. I know that you will make the best choice for yourself. My prayers are with you.

Thank you for your candidness regarding how you felt about the singles cruise. I went to a smaller version of your "meltdown" this past summer when I wore a dress that actually showed my figure assets for the first time in many years and the response I received from some men was exactly what got me in the morbidly obese place I had eaten myself to. TG, I also had an epiphany at the same time and realized that I wanted to be a normal weight size again no matter what the reactions I would receive and that I am emotionally strong enough to handle what might come my way. Just having that revelation for me was so powerful that my resolve hasn't changed one iota since then.

You don't have to go on that singles cruise if it would be too anxiety-provoking but there are many other smaller steps you can take to redefine how special the holidays can be. Maybe, go to New York City during Christmas time. After I saw the movie "Elf", which was mostly shot during that time in NYC, I told my husband that someday we are going to NYC simply to spend Christmas there. It looked so magical. London would be another great city to spend the holidays in. So Dickenesque. (is that a real word?)

Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments on how to go about "enriching your life". I have recently had a few people comment on how joyful I seem. Well, losing 50 lbs was certainly instrumental in part of that but also there is nothing like being able to say I accomplished some very long held goals of mine and just reveling in that achievement. What am I going to feel like when I hit goal weight?? Wow! Fireworks!

I just think that particular chapter in the BDS book (pink book) resonated so strongly with me because at my heaviest, and most depressed, I was a virtual shut in. I was living with a lot of fear and anxiety about so many things overall. Excellent point about looking for ways to "enrich my life" that don't make the wallet be "on a diet" as well. I didn't want to imply that I was waiting to take that $69K world tour (although that sounds pretty impressive) before I began living my life but just that some of the things that I want to do will involve having some "extra" discretionary income. However, in the meantime, I do indeed have several things that I am pursuing that involve a minimal amount of cash flow to do so--and I am indeed quite filled up in doing those things. (hence not filling up with unneeded extra food).

maryann I am so sorry that you are going through such an intense emotional time. Did something trigger this or it was just like a quick rain storm and it just happened? I know that periodically since my mom died (2008) I will suddenly start to cry for about 5 minutes and then it is done. Anything too much longer and I feel absolutely drained emotionally. Take care of yourself, yes, I used to hug teddy bears as well when I needed it. "Mothering" ourselves is a good thing. It falls in the same category as warm jammies, an extra blanket, soft socks and chicken noodle soup.

lexxiss GJ in scaling those windows. Isn't it great when our bodies cooperate with us? GJ on resisting the "nibble" reflex.

Fyreflie GJ in working your BDS program.

Val, we are all amazed at how you leave half a burger and onion rings. I can't imagine myself doing that. Not in this life time. Maybe, in the next. ;)


-Since I am hosting a "Move It N Lose It" buddy challenge, I followed my own advice and did just that for three and half days, starting Thursday night. When I picked up my new shoes I had ordered at the store, I pulled my DH across the way to Foot Locker and we got him a new pair of running shoes with lifetime sole supports. He had put over 400 miles on his other pair and "it was time". This also served to ease the teeny bit of guilt I had in spending a big bill on shoes as one of my "non food" rewards.
-This deserves a drum roll, please. I also managed to walk 1.5 miles in distance at one single attempt on a hilly trail Saturday after having a meal at a Mexican restaurant.[re: Dr. Beck's definition of "normal fullness" is being able to walk after eating a full meal--check]I did walk with my cane and I wasn't sprinting but I was walking and not stopping either. (to the newbies here, I have advanced arthritis and this is a big deal)
-When in the Mexican restaurant Saturday, even though this felt really uncomfortable because of the nature of this type of restaurant, we requested a special order of grilled chicken breast, cooked spinach and plain potatoes. I am sure that had to have been a first for this place. I noticed that we were charged $6 extra for doing so but certainly worth the building of courage it took to do so.
-After the walk, we went to our garden and we spent time doing "clean up" and chatting with other fellow community gardeners, exchanging fresh produce in the process. We got some wonderful green and jalapeno peppers out of the exchange. I helped tie up their tomatoes and offered them some tomatoes when ours ripened.
-Sunday is our day of rest where we spent the entire day taking care of ourselves spiritually. Now, we have the necessary fuel to get us through the rest of this week.

Hope everyone has a safe (from the evils of beckoning candy) Halloween. :badbat: and :devil:

Tomorrow is All Saints Day. :cloud9:


10-31-2011, 02:52 PM
Hi friends.. I had a wonderful visit with my college roomate yesterday. I also gathered all the little kids in the neighborhood for Halloween stories, songs and puppets. We had fun.

Dh bought the 150 peice package of chocolate 'themed' fun size bars. I had a snickers. He said he'll take whatever is left with him in the car.

My stomach is feeling some better.

I love to see the kids all dressed up in their cute costumes. How the costume themes change the older the kids are. I bought some Halloween stickers and 'cool' pencils as an option for the kids. DH just thinks it's 'plain wrong' to give non-candy items for Halloween. ...

I have you alll have a healthy Halloween. My GS is going as a blue M&M. His other Gramma made it for him. I am hoping for a few pictures.

10-31-2011, 08:09 PM
Hi Everyone,

Not a great start to my day. I ended up spending the morning at the ER because I woke up in extreme pain. I wasn't sure if it was digestion related (past history) or a possible heart attack. I read too many health magazines and know that women don't show the same signs as men. We have a health line we can call and talk to an RN who can then suggest the next step. After reviewing my symptoms and history she strongly suggested we go to the ER. After blood work, an EKG and X-rays it was determined to be digestive. The doctor did assure me that I was right in going in to have it checked. Got home just before noon, had something to eat and had a nap. I did go for a 20 minute walk this afternoon to get the last minutes I needed for my exercise goal. The cool crisp air felt quite refreshing.

Just wanted to get a short note here. I did weigh this morning but cannot remember what that number said, did not read cards, haven't really eaten much (bagel and banana so far today), spontaneous exercise and am going to take it easy tonight handing out treats to the kids.

On a positive note DH has decided he would like to lose some weight and I'm happy to help him on his journey. It will also make some of my food shopping decisions much easier.

Have a safe night everyone!:spid:

10-31-2011, 09:51 PM
my report: weight was unchanged this morning, tolerated quite a bit of hunger today, wasn't a productive day in general (stayed up most of the night to FINALLY finish with my midterm grading and so was extremely tired today), stayed OP, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddies.

gardenerjoy, doesn't it feel great to realize that we can trust ourselves to make good food choices even without an explicit food plan? It's downright empowering! Sometimes little things like that make me want to cry in sheer gratitude!

BillBlueEyes, so sorry to hear that you are under the weather. But LOL on your "hunger is not an emergency" comment--you've still got your sense of humor!!

Lexxiss, YAY YOU for reacting to your unplanned snack by eating less for dinner instead of using it to give yourself permission for an eating spree. And I know just what you mean about reveling in the feeling of physical ease and freedom you experienced when you easily climbed up and down off the counters to wash your windows.

fyreflie24, I have a Ph.D. in experimental psychology and am a psychology professor at a major university. Wow, if my mom had been an opera singer like yours, I would have been too intimidated to ever try to sing at all!!! And YAY YOU for recognizing that you can actually CHOOSE not to eat something and feel good about that choice!

Val, I'm so sorry to hear that Jane had such a rough night with her homework and that it created such a rough night for you, too. YAY YOU for moving on. I hope today was a much better day for both you and Jane!

pamatga, your great niece makes an adorable bumblebee! She reminds me of a Halloween many years ago when four of my female students came to class dressed in bumblebee costumes to tease me after I had shared my bee phobia with the class as part of a lecture. You and I seem to share the same attitude about medication. I, too, always want to "leave no stone unturned" before resorting to medication whenever possible; it's just a bias of mine. Thank you for sharing your story about wearing a revealing dress and deciding that you want to be a normal size no matter what reactions that might provoke from others. That's EXACTLY where I am right now. I know absolutely that it is worth dealing with whatever I have to deal with in order to stay thin. And I AM strong enough emotionally to handle it. I'm still thinking about what to do over my semester break, although I think at least the Christmas issue is resolved. I had a call from my beloved niece to invite me to spend Christmas with my brother and his family for Christmas. I am not particularly close to my brother (it's not that we are estranged in any way; we just don't communicate much and have never spent much time together), but I would like to be, so I think it will be a good experience to spend Christmas with him, even though he and his family don't really celebrate to any significant extent (partly because his wife is Jewish). Anyway, how wonderful that people have been commenting on how joyful you seem lately! Great point about how "filling up" on life-enriching experiences is so much better than filling up on food. And YAY YOU for special ordering diet-friendly food at the Mexican restaurant, eating to Beck's definition of normal fullness, then walking 1.5 miles on a hilly trail afterward!

beverlyjoy, good for you for recognizing that Halloween treats do not have to involve food!! Life has so many more treats to offer than sweets!

Tazzy, what a scary start to your day. I'm so glad your problem turned out to be digestive rather than cardiac. Good for you for reaching your exercise goal today anyway. And that's terrific that your DH is going to join you on your weight-loss journey. I'm sure he has been inspired by your good example!

Hope everyone has a great OP day tomorrow!


11-01-2011, 12:16 AM
I met my exercise goal for October! I had a written plan today and followed it almost perfectly.

We celebrated the holiday by watching Monsters, Inc. Yep. I like my movies really scary.

Tomorrow (or tonight at midnight if I stay up that long) is NaNoWriMo -- National Novel Writing Month. I'm excited!

WI: -0.6kgs, Exercise: +70 1000/1000 minutes for October, Food: 95%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

fyreflie24: one of the biggest differences for me with the Beck journey as opposed to previous attempts was the ability to wait out the inevitable pauses in the weight loss. Actually, I credit my coaches here with that. Reporting every day here keeps me focused on the process no matter what the scale is doing, so I stick to it and trust the scale will come along for the ride eventually.

Tazzy: sorry for the health scare -- glad it wasn't a heart problem. Sounds like a case of better safe than sorry.

BillBlueEyes: hope you're feeling better soon. Appreciate that you're still putting us at the beginning of even your sick days.

pamatga: what a terrific costume you got that little girl -- she was obviously meant to be a bumblebee!

4EverLearning: glad you finished your midterm grading -- hope things are calmer for awhile for you.

Beverljoy: hope you enjoyed your little visitors tonight!

va1erie: supportive thoughts for you and your daughter.

Lexxiss: Yay for recognizing the advantage of ease of movement at a lower weight! That's a big one!

11-01-2011, 07:38 AM
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