General chatter - Bad Mannered Kids

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09-27-2011, 09:03 AM
Do any of ya'll read It's a pretty good blog where people submit etiquette horror stories. The one yesterday was about a lady (the poster) on a bus who was playing a game on her i-phone. The bus was very crowded and a man and his young (maybe 5 year-old) daughter were sitting behind the poster. The daughter started screaming that she wanted to play the poster's game and the man LEANED FORWARD AND TOLD THE POSTER, "She wants to play with your phone, can you let her use it?" Poster declined and daughter started crying asking why poster was being so rude. Father answered loudly, "Some people are just mean."

Yah. I know. It's terrible, right? It reminded me of when I was in a Chili's the other day with DH and MIL and the table behind us was a group of women with a baby. The baby was SCREAMING and crying for the better part of our meal (I say baby, but really the kid was probably 2). I understand, sometimes it really sucks to have a toddler throwing a fit when you're trying to eat your dinner. It doesn't make you a bad parent to have a kid who throws a fit. It DOES make you a rude restaurant patron when you don't take the kid outside until they calm down. I would have understood if the kid had an outburst and then they soothed her at the table, but that obviously wasn't working and so instead they just ignored her and let her freak out. Yes, sometimes ignoring that kind of behavior is helpful to stop that kind of behavior, but not in a restaurant. Kids need to know, even from a young age, that eating out is a privilege that can and will be revoked when they misbehave.

What are your hair-curling stories of kid etiquette horror?

09-27-2011, 10:12 AM
It's not the kids ... it's the parents.

09-27-2011, 10:44 AM
Just had to check and see if this one was about me :devil:

And, sometimes it IS the kids :)

09-27-2011, 12:47 PM
I had a little boy (maybe 4 or 5) at the grocery store grab my bottom while I was in line for self check out recently. His dad just laughed and I told him that if he didn't stop doing that someone a lot meaner than me was going to make him feel pretty bad about himself some day. It's funny because he acted like there couldn't be anyone scarier than me simply because I'm heavily tattooed and have a septum ring. At least I scared him out of doing it to me again.

I don't know who would possibly encourage that behavior.

09-27-2011, 01:09 PM
My biggest gripe is not with children but with rude adults who do astonishingly inappropriate things in public. Like, people who are needlessly rude to people serving them. There is no excuse for rudeness unless that person is being rude to you in the first place-I am sorry, and I understand one's frustration about getting a drink order wrong. Or pickles, instead of the no pickles burger you got, etc. But, all one has to do is ask politely for it to be replaced....Of course, there is the other side of the coin, like the man who delivered a pizza to our house as a child. He brought the pizza and a 2 liter of regular coke to a diet drinking household. My father specifically ordered diet coke, and when presented with the regular informed the pizza guy he'd ordered diet. That guy proceeded to say, "You get what you get" to my dad, the paying customer. Needless to say, a call to the manager fixed that. Rude people in general make me cringe.

OK Lizzy
09-27-2011, 01:27 PM
I am constantly amazed at what young people say & do, and their rude, crude behavior. By "young", I mean VERY young -- like the 3-year-old who cursed at my friend -- her Early Childhood teacher! Then let's talk about the incident I went thru just the other nite -- when I was giving a lady & her two children a ride home from church. The adolescent-aged kids were in the back seat (buckled in, which was my first battle with them), when they began hitting each other and screaming, kicking the car doors, etc. I slammed on the brakes and told them both to be quiet and to keep their hands to themselves when they're riding in MY car. The Mom never said a word. I finally arrived at their home -- the boy actually said "I ain't never riding with you again!" as he climbed out. The Mom never apologized, merely said, "I don't know what's wrong with those kids." The kids are not the problem -- they learn their behavior from their parents!

09-27-2011, 02:04 PM
I would be mortified if my son did those things, he's 2 1/2 and is WELL aware already that you say please and thank you, you keep your hands to yourself, you don't raise you're voice and you behave or you go home.
And yes, I am one of those moms that will actually take him home. He's thrown a fit in the store once, we left.
He threw a tantrum in 1 restaurant, I asked the server if she could pack up our food, paid our bill and we left. He was shocked and confused into silence.

The only thing I find more surprising then the way I see some kids acting, is the actual shock on peoples faces that he uses please and thank you.

09-27-2011, 02:18 PM
Wow, that first incident is insane. I would NEVER let some random kid play with any of my electronics, I just can't imagine what that parent was thinking?

However, I DO try and be somewhat understanding of parents of crying kids. You just never know the whole situation there. I can think up a number of scenarios where you'd just have to suck it up with a kid in a crying restaurant and try and eat as quickly as possible before you could leave (you're traveling s you can't eat at home is a big one). Maybe the mom also had some sort of depression where she just couldn't deal with the kid? I don't know, I normally have a lot of sympathy for those parents after having to take a lot of international flights with DD when she was young.

Thighs Be Gone
09-27-2011, 02:24 PM
I have two kids and I learned pretty quickly that other than Mcdonalds or Chickfila there wasn't a good place to take a toddler. So, I didn't. Once my younger turned 4 or 5 we started eating out again. What pisses me off more than anything is when we pay ten dollars an hour for a babysitter only to plagued with misbehaved children running around establishments. IMO, there are some establishments that clearly do not cater to children and therefore, they are out of place.

09-27-2011, 03:44 PM
I find etiquettehell hilarious. Not because of the bad manners chronicled on the site, but because the forums (and sometimes the stories in the blog) are full of people who take things way too seriously. Life's too short to worry about a lot of the things that people complain about.

Back to the topic. I've seen my share of bad kids (and as a teacher I've had to deal with some, certainly!) but never anything as ridiculous as that story!

09-27-2011, 05:03 PM
The one yesterday was about a lady (the poster) on a bus who was playing a game on her i-phone. The bus was very crowded and a man and his young (maybe 5 year-old) daughter were sitting behind the poster. The daughter started screaming that she wanted to play the poster's game and the man LEANED FORWARD AND TOLD THE POSTER, "She wants to play with your phone, can you let her use it?" Poster declined and daughter started crying asking why poster was being so rude. Father answered loudly, "Some people are just mean."

This honestly is so outrageous, I'm guessing it was a scam. The father shames people into handing over electronics by training the kid to ask for things, and on busy public transport, the phone disappears to an accomplice pretty easily.

09-27-2011, 05:32 PM
I too was wondering if maybe it was a scam to get the iphone. Who in their right mind would ask to let a kid play with someone's phone? Even so...there are too many stories of rude parents and kids. I think it is both in that the parents aren't teaching the kids manners. Most cases i've ran into the parent is talking on a phone and not paying attention to kids and they are running around being HORRIBLE! I love kids but I dislike bratty, screaming, rude kids.

09-27-2011, 07:00 PM
I'll start out by saying I have a very strong willed child - just last night we had an EPIC meltdown. He's just the type that will do exactly what you just told him not to while staring you in the face just to see what you'll do!!! GAH!!!!

That being said, he's generally well behaved in public because he knows he will get in serious trouble if he doesn't. I do not take being embarrassed by a screaming fit throwing child very well and he knows it. I've had to leave stores, restaurants, friends houses, etc because he started to act out. Did it put a damper on my night? Sure. But him acting like a brat and not doing a thing about it is going to ruin everyone's fun and make me look like a tool.

I worked clothing retail once and this woman was walking around shopping and her kid was just screaming and flailing. She had the audacity to call her husband to come pick up the child so she could finish shopping. He apparently had to leave work to do so because he was in his firefighter uniform. :?:

And yes, the situation above with the phone sounds like a total scam. It's sad what people will manipulate kids to do. I read a story a while back about a woman teacher her kids to steal from a jewelry store or cash from store registers. Great role models there. :rolleyes:

09-27-2011, 11:25 PM
My admittedly mild, but still most memorable, bad-mannered kid story took place a few months ago. Like a lot of bad kid stories, it's really more of a bad parent story.

I was attending the basic training graduation ceremony of a friend, and was sitting high up in the middle of a bleacher section with his family and some other friends. Shortly after the ceremony started the 7- or 8-yo kid behind me started repeatedly whining at his mother, asking her why she'd shushed him - "What'd I say?" This went on for several minutes, and her only response was to "Shhhh!" him, which had no apparent effect on his behavior. The brat was loud enough to drown out the mic'ed MC, and I think he even got a few whines in during the invocation and the playing of the national anthem. The dude next to me was obviously annoyed by this, but wasn't going to do anything about it other than shoot dagger glances at the family. There were uniformed military personnel in the stands, but they were all at the walkway at the bottom - getting up, making my way past half a row's worth of people's knees, and getting down the steps to complain to them would have been even more disruptive and might not have accomplished much. His mother obviously didn't have control of him - I didn't see any point appealing to her for help. I had finally had enough of it and wanted to be able to hear what was going on (and I'm pretty sure the people around me did too), so I turned around in my seat, looked the kid in the eye, and said in a calm, firm voice and with what was hopefully a blank face: "Be. Quiet." Now, keep in mind, I was very careful to be as calm with the kid as possible, and to stay in my own space (forearm on and parallel with the seat-back, head and shoulders well behind my arm).

What do you know? It worked. There wasn't a peep out of him for the rest of the ceremony.

Unfortunately, his mommy was a different story. She didn't say anything (or appear to be paying too much attention) when I turned around and spoke to her son. About 5 or 10 minutes later though, the guy sitting on my other side bent down to pick up something that had fallen onto the floor of our row. He polled the people in front of us - wasn't theirs. Wasn't mine. He turned around - hey, it was theirs! The little boy took it, so perhaps he had dropped it. Since his mommy took the opportunity to get in my face and scream that I had better not ever scream in her son's face like that again*, and that she was the only person who could discipline her son**, I kind of suspect that she was the person who'd dropped it, and was hoping that I'd pick it up and turn around so she could have the opportunity to yell at me. That got me a little bit riled, since I all I had done was told the brat to be quiet as calmly as I could, but I wasn't about to get into a shouting match in the middle of the ceremony. So I just said (in my calm voice), "I didn't shout at him." "Yes you did!" Whatever. I just turned around and enjoyed the rest of the whine-free ceremony.

And, since they hadn't been disrespectful enough already, Crazy Mommy, the boy, and the rest of their party disregarded the instructions of the MC and basic common courtesy and left the bleachers (with, I should add, a number of other people) before the graduating battalion had finished passing in review. Her kid was done - who cared about showing respect for all the other kids who had cycled through at the same time or their families - who might have wanted to watch them march past without having to stand up and crane their necks?

If I'd acted like that kid at an event, I'd have gotten one or two warnings, and then my butt would have been marched outside and sat in the car for the duration of the ceremony.

I don't know if I handled the situation well, although I was satisfied with the outcome (quiet kid). How would you guys have handled it?

*In addition to lying, Crazy Mom was also modelling some awesome conflict resolution skills.
**I'd like to see how that's working out in about 8 or 10 years. He was already disregarding everything she said and she let it slide - so no discipline there. If he takes the message that nobody can give him direction to heart, he's going to have a long, hard road, and he'll drag her as far down it as he can.

09-28-2011, 01:28 PM
I was walking with BF down the street, as we crossed and reached the corner, when a man and his 4-yr-old(?) who were riding their bikes across the street perpendicular, came up to us (still on their bikes on the sidewalk) and the kid almost ran his bike into bf. Bf said, whoa! and held his hands out. And the father started to get feisty saying they had the right of way. I didn't think the kid was rude, I thought the dad was very rude, especially since they shouldn't be on the sidewalk riding their bikes, and on top of it to run into a pedestrian then make an issue in front of his young son that it was our fault, sheesh!

then at the Y, a 10 yr old girl was at the window with her dad, the dad had just given the attendant his ID card. The girl said loudly, CARD! (as in, give me back my card). And the dad said to her, it's ok, honey, I already got it back. Like it's ok to speak to speak to someone that way. sheesh again.

it really does seem to me like some parents are creating a sense of super entitlement with their kids.

Beach Patrol
09-29-2011, 12:53 PM
I"m not a mother, so I don't know how much weight my opinion holds...that being said, IMHO, there are far too many people out there that have no business being parents.

and furthermore... Kudos to those that are truly good at it, because y'all are few & far between! :)

09-29-2011, 01:46 PM
Amen Beach Patrol!

09-29-2011, 03:57 PM
And yes, I am one of those moms that will actually take him home. He's thrown a fit in the store once, we left.
He threw a tantrum in 1 restaurant, I asked the server if she could pack up our food, paid our bill and we left. He was shocked and confused into silence.

My just turned four year old daughter is pretty well-behaved, but every once in a while she gets cranky or will speak in a tone to me that I definitely have to correct. If we're on an optional trip like a restaurant, I will leave if her behavior keeps up - I've never had to do that, but I had a few times with her sister. I can't leave the line and come back later if we really need something (like toilet paper or a food item) because the time and effort it takes to bring her back later in the same evening is not even worth it.

The worst is when she's sick and we have to wait at the (Target) pharmacy. I always feel bad for taking her out, but as a single parent, just taking her home isn't a luxury I have. I always wonder if other people are looking at me wondering why I'm seemingly "just shopping" when my kid is overly cranky.

09-29-2011, 04:55 PM
How would you guys have handled it?

I think you handled it well, and were brave! there are crazy people out there, i truly wouldn't have said something because I would have been afraid Crazy Mom would have dumped a drink down my back.

I work in a deli/convenience store in the winter, in a tourist town, so gosh I see lots of 'interesting' family behavior and dynamics. One memorable time - the parents let a young child (maybe 7?) get a Slurpee-type drink (you know, electric blue color, lol) by himself (scary enough) and then let him wander around the store with it while they browsed. SPLAT. he drops it. Okay, that was not intentional, and he's a young kid, I wasn't annoyed, I smiled at the parents and said 'oh, that's okay' and went for a mop. (The parents did not apologize, or offer to help clean it up)

I cleaned it up. Good thing I didn't put the mop away. They let him get a second drink, and in EVEN LESS TIME, he drops it. Okay, now I started to get very irritated, because the parents did not supervise him at all, didn't offer to carry it for him, didn't warn him to please be careful, none of that. And didn't offer to help clean up the second time either.

09-29-2011, 04:59 PM
Theox, you did great. I wouldn't have handled it with as much grace as you did. And then I would have stewed over it for the longest time getting angry at the person and myself for being angry at the person making me mad....

There's a lady who brings her young children to work with her occasionally. They get to playing and get really loud and her mother just ignores them. I've actually started talking to the kids when they come in, "please remember to use your inside voices today." And that usually stops them before they get started but I can't believe she would 1) bring them to work and 2) allow them to be so loud in an office setting.

My dh invited a friend of his and the family to visit us because they hadn't seen each other in years. They had a small child and brought nothing to entertain him. We have no children. I found him harrassing my cat, so I locked the cat away, and then he started climbing my dining room hutch to get a doll out of the top. a doll I had made myself and won ribbons at the county fair. I grabbed him and told him not to do that and he started crying. His mother yelled at me for not letting him play with my toys.

I calmly told her that it was her responsiblity as a parent to bring something for the child to play with and her responsibilty to control her child but since she wasn't, as long as the child was in my home the child would obey my rules. Which included no jumping on the couch, no climbing the furniture, no playing with the grown up toys and no annoying the cat. We haven't heard from them since.

10-01-2011, 08:45 AM
A month or so ago, my sister went to visit my cousins. The eldest, an 11-year old girl, had her new phone with her. (The phone had been promised by my aunt and uncle for starting secondary school, so she could contact them in emergencies etc.) When my sister complimented her on it, saying that it was a nice phone, she was shocked when my cousin replied (I'm paraphrasing here, I can't remember the actual words) something along the lines of, "Actually, it's a bit rubbish. I wanted a better one, but Mum wouldn't let me." :o
I had to wait until I was 13 until I was allowed a mobile phone (as a birthday present), and I was grateful for it. (Nokia 3310)

I currently work in the pastoral office of a school, and so among other things I spend a lot of time dealing with girls who are wearing the wrong uniform. (We lend out skirts if theirs are too short, and keep a supply of hairbands and nail polish/makeup remover.) Yes they're teenagers, but it still shocks me how many of them simply turn up at the door to the office and simply demand, quite rudely, "I need a skirt." A lot of the time without pleases or thank yous, despite the fact that we are the ones doing them a favour. :mad:
Don't get me wrong, a lot of them are lovely, and the majority of students who come to the door (the pastoral office is based at the back of a staff room) are polite and friendly. I just wish some of the others would learn from their peers.

10-01-2011, 12:58 PM
I live in a basement below a business, it's great because we can pretty much do whatever we want, but we have to be quiet between 8 am and 5 pm and that's fine because before we lost our jobs we were usually asleep or at work then (we both worked afternoon/nights) and we had days off during the week instead of the weekend, and the people upstairs are pretty rude.. We haven't been able to sleep past 8 am since we moved in, in March because everyone up there stomps as loudly as they can because they don't like us. One of the employees up there has a dog that he brings to work every day and another has a young daughter that she brings to work every day too, so we wake up EVERYDAY to a toddler and a dog romping around above our heads while we're trying to sleep.

We've talked to them and our landlord countless times but they don't seem to think that we deserve to sleep. It's really affected our relationship because we're always tired and cranky. It baffles me that those people don't see any reason to be even remotely polite. Sometimes we can hear ALL of them up there running around with the toddler and the dog (while the toddler screams and laughs and the dog barks). I don't understand why they're allowed to bring dogs and small children to work, doesn't seem conducive to actually getting any work done.

Thankfully we're moving in a month.

10-01-2011, 01:24 PM
I was shopping in a busy store during Christmas season. A young boy wearing cowboy boots stomped down on my foot with the heel of the boot. Ouch ! The father says to me in a nasty tone, "Well, lady if you didn't have your foot in the way that wouldn't have happened".Go figure.

10-01-2011, 01:52 PM
Some of these stories are so ridiculous. Crazy people out there. VermontMom, that story is especially nuts. Once, sure, but to let your child do that twice???

I went to see the last Harry Potter about a week after it came out. A guy brought his 2 and 4 year old kids. That movie was WAY too scary for those ages.

The 2 year old talked through the ENTIRE movie. I and my fellow watchers were surprisingly good natured about it. Until the climax of the movie, when the little girl walked up to the screen (still babbling away) such that she was superimposed onto the movie. Father still did nothing but say shhhh. Finally people started yelling at them to get her out of there. So he did, but he left the poor 4 year old behind! The kid freaked out a bit and finally walked himself out of the theater.

Do not know what that man was thinking.

10-01-2011, 07:09 PM
Thanks, VermontMom and sarahyu.

You all have some good (and cringe-inducing) stories.

10-01-2011, 07:55 PM
I am a very understanding person-my anger would be directed toward the parents though, with some of those stories; especially the one about the child stepping on bargoo's foot and the dad blaming her for being there. What the heck? My parents would have asked me to tell the person I stepped on that I am sorry and that I hope they'd accept my apology. I couldn't imagine a parent acting that way, though I know they do.

10-02-2011, 10:53 PM
It's not always reasonable for a mom to take a crying child outside. Sometimes there are other children she can't just leave. Or maybe she's just plain hungry and wants to eat and get the kid home for a nap.
Or if she's in a store she can't abandon a cart full of purchases and take the child out of the store.
Kids cry.
Who in their right mind would let some strange kid play with their Iphone? I dont even let my own kids play with my phone.

Bette k
10-03-2011, 12:09 AM
This is more a rude adult story than a rude child one, but when my son was about 3, just during the potty training time we were standing in line at a store and he was behaving beautifully when a very large man standing in front of him very loudly passed gas. I feel the man should have been able to turn so it didn't go right into my son's face. DS then said in a very loud voice "Mommy, Mommy, that man just did poopies in his pants." I felt embarrassed and explained that even if the man did that it wasn't polite to point it out. The man just tried to ignore it with everyone looking at him. It was one of the loudest I had ever heard, and he never even said excuse me.

10-06-2011, 01:31 AM
I teach at a few dance studios and cant BELIEVE the kids sometimes.. dont get me wrong, some are absolutely adoreable and sweet... but many have MAJOR entitlement issues. I occasionally bring in treats/stickers for my kids as a reward for learning something new or good behavior.
EVERY time I have brought in treats (maybe a fun size candybar or licorice), I get at least one student who looks at me like I'm crazy and says, "we only get one?!" Umm, excuse me? I am not required to give you ANYTHING except for dance lessons! In fact, the extra rewards I bring in come out of my own paycheck!
I finally made a rule that if I hear anyone asking for more treats/stickers/pencils/whatever... that they dont get any. Maybe Im too mean...